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(Sun Sentinel)   Five shot, one fatally at Florida Crab Festival...only it wasn't a Crab Festival   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 53
    More: Florida, Crab Festival, crab meat, medical helicopter  
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10125 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2013 at 11:25 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-30 08:22:42 AM
are ye havin fun KIDS!!!!!


static.comicvine.com
 
2013-04-30 11:02:50 AM
I'm pretty damn sure you could still get crabs there.
 
2013-04-30 11:27:56 AM
"Crab Festival" is actually a series of "Hip Hop" style street parties

This is shocking news!
 
2013-04-30 11:28:10 AM
The only crab festival I know is in Crisfield, Maryland during Labor Day Weekend. The National Hard Crab Derby is its name and I hope I can go to it this year. THis if anything is just an imitator.
 
2013-04-30 11:29:30 AM
No crabs were harmed in the shooting.
 
2013-04-30 11:29:37 AM
BARBARA HIJEK has spent the best years of her life doing news research in Florida, the most news-warpy place in the universe. She's still passed all her drug tests and remains Prozac free. Barbara graduated from the University of Pittsburgh in her hometown. Talk about culture shock! She is single and has lived in Fort Lauderdale for the past decade. Prior to that Barbara lived in Clearwater for a dozen years. Truly a bicoastal Floridian. And she still can't figure out which coast is wackier...

What do you bet the reporter wrote that herself?

What a farking coont. 5 people shot and she thinks the important part of the story is "IT'S NOT A CRAB FESTIVAL!!1!"
 
2013-04-30 11:29:52 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: are ye havin fun KIDS!!!!!

[static.comicvine.com image 355x336]


I would have gone with:

images1.wikia.nocookie.net

A Krabs, but not really a crab
 
2013-04-30 11:31:02 AM
This is like how crab meat at the grocery store isn't real crab but they still call it "imitation crab" (not crab).
 
2013-04-30 11:31:39 AM
...only it wasn't a Crab Festival

Before clicking headline, I thought "It was a whorehouse"
 
2013-04-30 11:32:23 AM
Person of interest?

www.mynameisearl.cz
 
2013-04-30 11:32:42 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: What a farking coont. 5 people shot and she thinks the important part of the story is "IT'S NOT A CRAB FESTIVAL!!1!"


Well, newspapers are what old white people use to learn what is going on, so...
 
2013-04-30 11:32:48 AM
Isn't "crab" an insult word for crip?
 
2013-04-30 11:32:54 AM
It was a rock lobster?
 
2013-04-30 11:33:06 AM
It was a "Punk-Ass biatch I'll bust a cap in yo ass" Festival.
 
2013-04-30 11:34:00 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: What a farking coont. 5 people shot and she thinks the important part of the story is "IT'S NOT A CRAB FESTIVAL!!1!"


To be fair, it's not really news when people get shot at Hip Hop events.  That's more Ric Romero territory.
 
2013-04-30 11:35:26 AM
Sounds a lot like the "Footwash" party/gathering they hold around Union Alabama.
 
2013-04-30 11:36:06 AM
And here I though bloods and crips were on the squad ever since Dr. Dre released "The Chronic"
 
2013-04-30 11:36:19 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: She is single

i1.kym-cdn.com

 
2013-04-30 11:37:14 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: BARBARA HIJEK has spent the best years of her life doing news research in Florida, the most news-warpy place in the universe. She's still passed all her drug tests and remains Prozac free. Barbara graduated from the University of Pittsburgh in her hometown. Talk about culture shock! She is single and has lived in Fort Lauderdale for the past decade. Prior to that Barbara lived in Clearwater for a dozen years. Truly a bicoastal Floridian. And she still can't figure out which coast is wackier...

What do you bet the reporter wrote that herself?

What a farking coont. 5 people shot and she thinks the important part of the story is "IT'S NOT A CRAB FESTIVAL!!1!"


It is when your column is about the wackiness of Florida.

All authors write their own bios.
 
2013-04-30 11:38:00 AM

Tremolo: It was a rock lobster?


Thought the same with the headline style.

"But it wasn't a crab festival... it was a glock rocker! Glock rocker!!"
 
2013-04-30 11:38:53 AM

The Martian Manhandler: Person of interest?

[www.mynameisearl.cz image 200x160]


Nah.
Snoop Crab would be (but he's not scheduled to utilize that moniker until 2015).
 
2013-04-30 11:38:59 AM

Parthenogenetic: Jon iz teh kewl: are ye havin fun KIDS!!!!!

[static.comicvine.com image 355x336]

I would have gone with:

[images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 300x366]

A Krabs, but not really a crab


i'd have sex with her
/but only with a Trojan Ecstasy condom - cause it feels like sex
 
2013-04-30 11:39:01 AM
Christian Bale

Isn't "crab" an insult word for crip?


yup. so basically someone got shot at a Blood's party that insults their rivals.

I am shocked, shocked!

/I'm sorry I got in a fight at your Black panther party.
//gangsters should be labeled as terrorists, and treated as such.
 
2013-04-30 11:41:20 AM

BarkingUnicorn: TheShavingofOccam123: BARBARA HIJEK has spent the best years of her life doing news research in Florida, the most news-warpy place in the universe. She's still passed all her drug tests and remains Prozac free. Barbara graduated from the University of Pittsburgh in her hometown. Talk about culture shock! She is single and has lived in Fort Lauderdale for the past decade. Prior to that Barbara lived in Clearwater for a dozen years. Truly a bicoastal Floridian. And she still can't figure out which coast is wackier...

What do you bet the reporter wrote that herself?

What a farking coont. 5 people shot and she thinks the important part of the story is "IT'S NOT A CRAB FESTIVAL!!1!"

It is when your column is about the wackiness of Florida.

All authors write their own bios.


So the problem is with the editor who assigned a "wackiness" social events reporter to a story about 5 people being shot.

/when is the editor going to send a Southern Baptist preacher on a gay night club crawl?
 
2013-04-30 11:41:51 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-30 11:41:58 AM
ts3.mm.bing.net
Oh there are crabs to be had.
 
2013-04-30 11:42:38 AM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Crabs?
 
2013-04-30 11:43:54 AM
I'm not saying it was a Crab Festival....

But it was a crab festival
 
2013-04-30 11:45:32 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: are ye havin fun KIDS!!!!!


Aye aye, Cap'n!
 
2013-04-30 11:45:54 AM
Hip-hop and violence?  I would never have believed it.
 
2013-04-30 11:46:06 AM
"You ever hear of the Emancipation Proclamation?"

"I don't listen to hip hop."
 
2013-04-30 11:46:16 AM

CaptSacto: I'm pretty damn sure you could still get crabs there.


Right you are.  In Williston, FL that would not require too much effort

/Pubic Lice Festival?
 
2013-04-30 11:46:32 AM

abhorrent1: "Crab Festival" is actually a series of "Hip Hop" style street parties

This is shocking news!


Sounds like a crab festival to me. Anyone else get itchy just thinking about it?
 
2013-04-30 11:50:03 AM
Russ1642 [TotalFark]
abhorrent1: "Crab Festival" is actually a series of "Hip Hop" style street parties

This is shocking news!

Sounds like a crab festival to me. Anyone else get itchy just thinking about it?


no but my feet want to dub step?
 
2013-04-30 11:51:56 AM
i365.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-30 11:57:45 AM
We used to go crabbing all the time here on the Gulf Coast. Used to be able to wade out 10' and get all the crabs you wanted. Just tear off the claw and toss it back, and go home with as many crabs as you wanted. No one followed the rules though so now there's hardly any crabs left.

/Pretty sure "Barbara" Hijek used to be Bob Hijeck
 
2013-04-30 12:01:58 PM
so 10K black people get together for some hip hop party and they start shooting each other.

Way to re-enforce the stereotype there "homies".

It's not racist when I avoid large crowd of black people, it's playing the numbers and surviving to live another day.
 
2013-04-30 12:02:43 PM
I believe I stumbled upon this festival in 2002 with a fellow New Englander. We did not fit in at all but everyone made us feel right at home. I remember walking up to a large set lady who filed my plate high with blue crab, mud-bugs, and corn. A few hours laterwe left a happy, greasy,stinky mess. 


I did not realize this was unsanctioned. Hopefully this incident does ruin the fun for everyone in the future.
 
2013-04-30 12:03:35 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: We used to go crabbing all the time here on the Gulf Coast. Used to be able to wade out 10' and get all the crabs you wanted. Just tear off the claw and toss it back, and go home with as many crabs as you wanted. No one followed the rules though so now there's hardly any crabs left.

/Pretty sure "Barbara" Hijek used to be Bob Hijeck


Just reading your post reminded me of Tampa. It couldn't be that the bay stinks to high-heaven and that pollution caused the demise? Oh, but yeah, there are plenty of idiots taking the whole crab and not realizing it's a renewable food source... hats off to ya.
 
2013-04-30 12:03:46 PM
No crabs harmed ?...All depends on where he got shot...
 
2013-04-30 12:06:03 PM
...this kills the thug.
 
2013-04-30 12:12:09 PM

special20: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: We used to go crabbing all the time here on the Gulf Coast. Used to be able to wade out 10' and get all the crabs you wanted. Just tear off the claw and toss it back, and go home with as many crabs as you wanted. No one followed the rules though so now there's hardly any crabs left.

/Pretty sure "Barbara" Hijek used to be Bob Hijeck

Just reading your post reminded me of Tampa. It couldn't be that the bay stinks to high-heaven and that pollution caused the demise? Oh, but yeah, there are plenty of idiots taking the whole crab and not realizing it's a renewable food source... hats off to ya.


Fine for stone crabs, but when you're dealing with blues, you take the whole thing.
 
2013-04-30 12:21:48 PM
gimlet:  mud-bugs

For the uninformed, what's a mud-bug?
 
2013-04-30 12:25:04 PM

TheHumanCannonball: gimlet:  mud-bugs

For the uninformed, what's a mud-bug?


Crayfish, crawdad, yabbies, little lobsters.
 
MN8
2013-04-30 12:25:29 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: We used to go crabbing all the time here on the Gulf Coast. Used to be able to wade out 10' and get all the crabs you wanted. Just tear off the claw and toss it back, and go home with as many crabs as you wanted. No one followed the rules though so now there's hardly any crabs left.

/Pretty sure "Barbara" Hijek used to be Bob Hijeck


If you are doing this with Blue Crabs you are a piece of shiat.  And if it is Stone Crabs, only take ONE claw.

Just make sure with Blue Crabs to not take any females (red tips) with eggs.
 
2013-04-30 12:30:21 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: BARBARA HIJEK has spent the best years of her life doing news research in Florida, the most news-warpy place in the universe. She's still passed all her drug tests and remains Prozac free. Barbara graduated from the University of Pittsburgh in her hometown. Talk about culture shock! She is single and has lived in Fort Lauderdale for the past decade. Prior to that Barbara lived in Clearwater for a dozen years. Truly a bicoastal Floridian. And she still can't figure out which coast is wackier...

What do you bet the reporter wrote that herself?

What a farking coont. 5 people shot and she thinks the important part of the story is "IT'S NOT A CRAB FESTIVAL!!1!"



I think Jean Teasdale wrote it for her.
 
2013-04-30 01:08:11 PM
From the thread above this one:
i.imgur.com


/My hand-basket is filled with potatoes.  At least I'll have a snack in hell.
 
2013-04-30 01:16:14 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: We used to go crabbing all the time here on the Gulf Coast. Used to be able to wade out 10' and get all the crabs you wanted. Just tear off the claw and toss it back, and go home with as many crabs as you wanted. No one followed the rules though so now there's hardly any crabs left.


Why do you toss the claw back?
 
2013-04-30 01:30:32 PM

WelldeadLink: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: We used to go crabbing all the time here on the Gulf Coast. Used to be able to wade out 10' and get all the crabs you wanted. Just tear off the claw and toss it back, and go home with as many crabs as you wanted. No one followed the rules though so now there's hardly any crabs left.

Why do you toss the claw back?


Someone got it!
 
2013-04-30 01:47:49 PM
so 10K black people get together for some hip hop party and they start shooting each other.
Way to re-enforce the stereotype there "homies".



Stereotypes exist for a reason. And yes this comes from a drunken, bad tempered, Irish man.

//just saying...
 
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