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(CNBC)   Hiring managers to latest batch of college grads for your job interview: Don't text during the middle of the interview, don't bring your parents, and don't bring your damn pets   (cnbc.com) divider line 322
    More: Asinine, staffing firm  
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12588 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2013 at 2:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-29 01:50:37 PM  
The examples in the article are 100 percent true and happened exactly as they're described. Exactly. Also, a "new" version of this article, slightly reworded, does not appear on the web approximately every 12 hours or so.
 
2013-04-29 01:56:24 PM  
asking a hot interviewer out for a date is still acceptable, I hope
 
wee
2013-04-29 01:57:53 PM  

Pocket Ninja: Also, a "new" version of this article, slightly reworded, does not appear on the web approximately every 12 hours or so.


Seems like these come out quite a lot near graduation time...
 
2013-04-29 02:01:44 PM  
I think, during a job interview, a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges...

//Jack Handy
 
2013-04-29 02:01:44 PM  

Pocket Ninja: The examples in the article are 100 percent true and happened exactly as they're described. Exactly. Also, a "new" version of this article, slightly reworded, does not appear on the web approximately every 12 hours or so.


But how are we supposed to have moral outrage about the kids nowadays if we can't take anecdotal evidence as the truth of a trend?!
 
2013-04-29 02:04:56 PM  
It really does make the hiring process easier and makes for some laughs at the annual Christmas party.

No precious, you don't get an explanation of why your resume went into the round file as soon as you left the interview.
 
2013-04-29 02:10:05 PM  
The pet's a new one for me.
 
2013-04-29 02:10:23 PM  
"If there's a picture of a woman on the interviewer's desk, point to it and say, "Who's the coont?" --George Carlin
 
2013-04-29 02:13:40 PM  
But I need my assistant gerbil for my stress disorder.  Mom just carries him for me.
 
2013-04-29 02:19:02 PM  
I find that wetting myself and crying hysterically will at least get me enough money for a cab home.
 
2013-04-29 02:19:07 PM  
Hey, I would like it if an interviewee brought a cat...
 
2013-04-29 02:24:05 PM  

James!: I find that wetting myself and crying hysterically will at least get me enough money for a cab home.


This is a job interview thread.  Not a dating thread.
 
2013-04-29 02:24:34 PM  
I remember interviewing a recent college graduate, who had Columbus Syndrome (he acted like he discovered something that millions of people already knew about).

I was working for a company whose primary business was Widget X. We made damn good X widgets. Basically all we did was make X widgets.

Me: "What do you think of the core concept of X widgets?"

Him: "Oh, they're so old and just a fad anyway. Everyone will be using Widget Y before long and Widget X makers will be out of business."

Me: "All right then. I think I've heard everything I need to hear..."
 
2013-04-29 02:25:21 PM  

Diogenes: James!: I find that wetting myself and crying hysterically will at least get me enough money for a cab home.

This is a job interview thread.  Not a dating thread.


Nonono, on a date I wear a business suit and bring several copies of my sex resume.
 
2013-04-29 02:26:14 PM  

Lord Dimwit: I remember interviewing a recent college graduate, who had Columbus Syndrome (he acted like he discovered something that millions of people already knew about).

I was working for a company whose primary business was Widget X. We made damn good X widgets. Basically all we did was make X widgets.

Me: "What do you think of the core concept of X widgets?"

Him: "Oh, they're so old and just a fad anyway. Everyone will be using Widget Y before long and Widget X makers will be out of business."

Me: "All right then. I think I've heard everything I need to hear..."


I'm going to pretend that Widget X is a dildoe.
 
2013-04-29 02:27:40 PM  

James!: Diogenes: James!: I find that wetting myself and crying hysterically will at least get me enough money for a cab home.

This is a job interview thread.  Not a dating thread.

Nonono, on a date I wear a business suit and bring several copies of my sex resume.


Oh, I'm SO writing one of those.
 
2013-04-29 02:28:53 PM  

James!: Lord Dimwit: I remember interviewing a recent college graduate, who had Columbus Syndrome (he acted like he discovered something that millions of people already knew about).

I was working for a company whose primary business was Widget X. We made damn good X widgets. Basically all we did was make X widgets.

Me: "What do you think of the core concept of X widgets?"

Him: "Oh, they're so old and just a fad anyway. Everyone will be using Widget Y before long and Widget X makers will be out of business."

Me: "All right then. I think I've heard everything I need to hear..."

I'm going to pretend that Widget X is a dildoe.


Makes me wonder what Widget Y would be then.
 
2013-04-29 02:34:25 PM  

Diogenes: James!: Diogenes: James!: I find that wetting myself and crying hysterically will at least get me enough money for a cab home.

This is a job interview thread.  Not a dating thread.

Nonono, on a date I wear a business suit and bring several copies of my sex resume.

Oh, I'm SO writing one of those.


"uh, as a favor can you not call that last reference?  I'm still working there."
 
wee
2013-04-29 02:34:31 PM  

James!: Nonono, on a date I wear a business suit and bring several copies of my sex resume.


I was doing an interview once and as it was wrapping up, the girl handed me a flyer for a swinger's club she ran. Scribbled her phone number and a "password" on it and came right out and told me when the next meet-up was, what the theme was going to be, her favorite aspects and new stuff they were trying, etc.  That was a little more than slightly awkward.

/Yes, she was hot. No, I didn't go. No, she didn't get the job.
 
2013-04-29 02:34:46 PM  
Also, as someone who has interviewed dozens of people over the course of my career, the text messaging thing is real, as are people interrupting the interview to take or make a phone call. I would understand if it were an emergency or something, but to date it never has been. I haven't had anyone bring their parents to an interview since 1998, when we interviewed a 17 year old to do phone tech support on the weekends and he didn't have his license yet. I really, really hope the pets thing isn't true.
 
2013-04-29 02:35:27 PM  

Lord Dimwit: James!: Lord Dimwit: I remember interviewing a recent college graduate, who had Columbus Syndrome (he acted like he discovered something that millions of people already knew about).

I was working for a company whose primary business was Widget X. We made damn good X widgets. Basically all we did was make X widgets.

Me: "What do you think of the core concept of X widgets?"

Him: "Oh, they're so old and just a fad anyway. Everyone will be using Widget Y before long and Widget X makers will be out of business."

Me: "All right then. I think I've heard everything I need to hear..."

I'm going to pretend that Widget X is a dildoe.

Makes me wonder what Widget Y would be then.


Electric boobs.  They're going to revolutionize the way we masturbate.  You should call that kid back and demand he take the job.
 
2013-04-29 02:53:26 PM  
I'm guessing dropping ass during an interview would also be frowned upon.
 
2013-04-29 02:58:37 PM  
Don't bring your RealDoll?
 
2013-04-29 03:00:16 PM  
Seems legit.
 
2013-04-29 03:00:46 PM  
Hello.  This is my gorilla.  There are many like him.  But this one is mine.
 
2013-04-29 03:01:35 PM  

James!: Lord Dimwit: James!: Lord Dimwit: I remember interviewing a recent college graduate, who had Columbus Syndrome (he acted like he discovered something that millions of people already knew about).

I was working for a company whose primary business was Widget X. We made damn good X widgets. Basically all we did was make X widgets.

Me: "What do you think of the core concept of X widgets?"

Him: "Oh, they're so old and just a fad anyway. Everyone will be using Widget Y before long and Widget X makers will be out of business."

Me: "All right then. I think I've heard everything I need to hear..."

I'm going to pretend that Widget X is a dildoe.

Makes me wonder what Widget Y would be then.

Electric boobs.  They're going to revolutionize the way we masturbate.  You should call that kid back and demand he take the job.


Also important... a mohair too.

I read it in a magazine.
 
2013-04-29 03:02:11 PM  
God, I'm getting really sick of the endless "young people are awful and stupid and terrible" articles that the internet pumps out faster than cat macros.

/yes, there are dumb ones
//make fun of them instead of besmirching everyone else that happens to share an age
 
2013-04-29 03:02:54 PM  
Its sad that this needs to be said at all....


Next up, tall the kids not to set their interviewer on fire or throw shiat at them.
 
2013-04-29 03:03:01 PM  
Just had an interviewee tell me 15 minutes into the call he needed to take another call, can we reschedule?

//gone
 
2013-04-29 03:05:33 PM  

Pocket Ninja: The examples in the article are 100 percent true and happened exactly as they're described. Exactly. Also, a "new" version of this article, slightly reworded, does not appear on the web approximately every 12 hours or so.


I was put on hold by an interviewee in the middle of a phone interview, I held for a minute thinking it COULD have been an emergency then hung up.    45 minutes later he called me back, apologized that his "boy" had called him to talk about plans later that evening.

Yeah, shiat like that actually happens.
 
2013-04-29 03:05:58 PM  

wee: James!: Nonono, on a date I wear a business suit and bring several copies of my sex resume.

I was doing an interview once and as it was wrapping up, the girl handed me a flyer for a swinger's club she ran. Scribbled her phone number and a "password" on it and came right out and told me when the next meet-up was, what the theme was going to be, her favorite aspects and new stuff they were trying, etc.  That was a little more than slightly awkward.

/Yes, she was hot. No, I didn't go. No, she didn't get the job.


I'd have gone but depending on what she was doing she may or may not have gotten the "job".
 
2013-04-29 03:06:19 PM  
If I'm going to hang out on the quad with my ferret to get attention from chicks, the school should know this beforehand.
 
2013-04-29 03:08:13 PM  

Lord Dimwit: Also, as someone who has interviewed dozens of people over the course of my career, the text messaging thing is real, as are people interrupting the interview to take or make a phone call. I would understand if it were an emergency or something, but to date it never has been. I haven't had anyone bring their parents to an interview since 1998, when we interviewed a 17 year old to do phone tech support on the weekends and he didn't have his license yet. I really, really hope the pets thing isn't true.


As a reasonable accommodation for my anxiety disorder, I will be needing to bring my cat with me to work.  If you ask me for proof that my cat is a therapy animal, I will sue you for violating my rights.  Also, your refusal to allow this reasonable accommodation will result in civil rights litigation, for which you may be liable for any and all attorney's fees.  Say hello to Ms. Fluffy!
 
2013-04-29 03:09:22 PM  
When I get nervous I like to masturbate. Don't worry, if I get the job it won't be a problem.
 
2013-04-29 03:09:22 PM  
The young people in this country really need to work a lot harder so they can pay for the baby boomers to retire.
 
2013-04-29 03:09:38 PM  
Having been on both sides it's hard to choose which is the bigger lot of jackholes.
 
2013-04-29 03:09:59 PM  
The trend reflects a generation of Millennials-ranging in age from 18 to 34-who grew up texting and using smartphones and social media,

FOR FARKS SAKE STOP GROUPING ME WITH THESE PEOPLE!

I didn't have a cell phone until I was 17, and even then it was a two-color tiny LCD without any texting functionality to speak of, much less facebook/twitter. Fark you for lumping me in with a group of people who refer to me as "old". If members of the same supposed demo are referring to each other in an ageist way, THEY AREN'T PART OF THE SAME DEMO.
 
2013-04-29 03:10:01 PM  
Next thing you know masturbating during the interview will be a problem.
 
2013-04-29 03:10:37 PM  
If you absolutely have to fart, blame the interviewer.
 
2013-04-29 03:10:58 PM  
"OhmiiiiiGOD, people who need money to keep from living in the street are SOOOOOO sub-humanly funny! LOOOOOL!!!!!  All people without a job are LOOOOOSERS!!!!"
 
2013-04-29 03:11:07 PM  
Jesus Christ millennials are farking stupid.
 
2013-04-29 03:11:07 PM  
Here's a tip for hiring managers: Don't warn people against doing these things ahead of time. These are the people you want to weed out. You want to know these kinds of things about people before you make hiring decisions.
 
2013-04-29 03:11:40 PM  
We just interviewed nine engineering students for a summer internship.  One was a bit skittish and hasn't been very good at responding to emails or phone calls but the other eight were outstanding.
 
2013-04-29 03:11:58 PM  
Ok hiring managers, we'll make you that deal so long as you also agree to actually hire people and not "hold interviews" for the purpose of simply appearing to hire new people.
 
2013-04-29 03:12:14 PM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: "OhmiiiiiGOD, people who need money to keep from living in the street are SOOOOOO sub-humanly funny! LOOOOOL!!!!!  All people without a job are LOOOOOSERS!!!!"


How was I supposed to know it was bad form for my dad to negotiate my salary for me?
 
2013-04-29 03:12:23 PM  

blatz514: I'm guessing dropping ass during an interview would also be frowned upon.


jerking off, spitting, drinking, smoking, shooting up, praying, eating, snorting coke off a hookers ass, nose picking, pissing, shiatting, farking, sucking, groping (yourself or the interviewer), starting things on fire, firing weapons, sacrificing animals, skull farking small children, railing about fake moon landings, bush stealing election, obama being a secret muslim, illuminati,

ffs, you are probably better off just shutting the fark up
 
2013-04-29 03:12:30 PM  
Luckily at my company "being professional" isn't really a requirement.  We can dress however we want, have booze at all our parties, and even have a sliding board from the second floor to the first, and we work in what used to be a shopping mall.  Nerf gun wars break out at the drop of a hat.

That said, I have interviewed people who come completely unprepared, and underdressed.  I don't mind someone speaking casually, our biggest requirement is that you get along with your co-workers (everyone gets to interview all new team members) but just because you can wear shorts and flip flops once you have the job doesn't mean you should wear that to the interview.   And come on, at least check Wikipedia for a little info about the company you're applying to.   Yes, you are expected to know something about us.   If you don't do any background work before the interview, I assume you'll be just as lazy with your work.
 
2013-04-29 03:12:34 PM  

DoBeDoBeDo: Pocket Ninja: The examples in the article are 100 percent true and happened exactly as they're described. Exactly. Also, a "new" version of this article, slightly reworded, does not appear on the web approximately every 12 hours or so.

I was put on hold by an interviewee in the middle of a phone interview, I held for a minute thinking it COULD have been an emergency then hung up.    45 minutes later he called me back, apologized that his "boy" had called him to talk about plans later that evening.

Yeah, shiat like that actually happens.


About a week into my first job out of college, the mom of one of my classmates called wanting to set up an interview. So, while some details may get exaggerated in some of these stories, I am willing to believe that stupid shiat does happen.
 
2013-04-29 03:13:12 PM  
FTA: A college senior brought her cat into an interview for a buyer's position at clothing retailer American Eagle.

Picture of the college senior below:

i4.ytimg.com
 
2013-04-29 03:13:14 PM  

ManateeGag: The pet's a new one for me.


Why would they feel that way. Noone I work with seems to think twice about bringing their dogs into work every farking day. Its an office, not a kennel. I have even seen one cat. Some people, myself included, have ridiculous allergies. If I know someone has a peanut allergy for instance, do I go smear farking peanut butter on their tongue? No.

When I was a kid, the dog stayed tied up in the yard and came into the house sometimes, but WE DIDNT TAKE THE DOG EVERYWHERE WE WENT IN A GIVEN DAY.

rant over. (not really)
 
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