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(Action News Jacksonville)   Burglar interrupts masturbation session inside couple's home to play with remote controlled helicopter. Where are this guy's priorities?   (actionnewsjax.com) divider line 44
    More: Florida, executive sessions, priority date, burglary, chewing tobacco, interrupts, helicopters, defendant admitted, Jason Vickery  
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7400 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2013 at 2:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-04-29 01:32:40 PM
He also ate a salad that he brought with him,...

WTF?
 
2013-04-29 01:34:13 PM
The way you've constructed this headline, subby, it makes it sound like the couple was masturbating when the burglar came in and interrupted them to play with the remote controlled helicopter. I like that version better.
 
2013-04-29 01:35:15 PM
Police confiscated a bag full of marijuana, other drug paraphernalia, a wig, a towel and a pouch of chewing tobacco

DON'T LOOK IN THE TOWEL!
 
2013-04-29 01:54:50 PM

minoridiot: He also ate a salad that he brought with him,...

WTF?


I know, right? I thought raiding your victim's fridge was de rigueur.
 
2013-04-29 02:02:13 PM
Hummm...I wonder if there's a relationship between remote controlled helicopters and chronic masturbation.
 
2013-04-29 02:03:48 PM
remote controlled helicopters are lots of fun.
 
2013-04-29 02:32:10 PM

minoridiot: He also ate a salad that he brought with him,...

WTF?


It was a perfectly good salad.  At least he didn't toss it.
 
2013-04-29 02:40:12 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-29 02:52:05 PM
 
2013-04-29 02:52:28 PM
This guy must have a serious impulse control disorder or something like that, or maybe an obsession with remote-controlled helicopters...
 
2013-04-29 02:54:17 PM

blatz514: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 450x303]


Ceiling cat is watching you aviate?
 
2013-04-29 02:55:30 PM

Pocket Ninja: The way you've constructed this headline, subby, it makes it sound like the couple was masturbating when the burglar came in and interrupted them to play with the remote controlled helicopter. I like that version better.


Thats exactly how I read it. And in all honestly, I get it... remote control helicopters are so cooooooool
 
2013-04-29 02:56:23 PM
This story brought to you buy ActionNewsJAX.com
 
2013-04-29 02:57:11 PM
www.nypost.com
just jackin it!
 
2013-04-29 02:57:56 PM

Walker: Police confiscated a bag full of marijuana, other drug paraphernalia, a wig, a towel and a pouch of chewing tobacco

DON'T LOOK IN THE TOWEL!


Hey man, back off - he's a good hitchhiker, he remembered to bring his towel.

Towlie and Douglas Aadams would be proud
 
2013-04-29 02:58:50 PM

UberDave: Hummm...I wonder if there's a relationship between remote controlled helicopters and chronic masturbation.


EvilEgg: remote controlled helicopters are lots of fun.


Walker: Police confiscated a bag full of marijuana, other drug paraphernalia, a wig, a towel and a pouch of chewing tobacco

DON'T LOOK IN THE TOWEL!



I think we have all the answers we need here.
 
2013-04-29 02:59:32 PM
He also ate a salad that he brought with him ... Police confiscated a bag full of marijuana, other drug paraphernalia, a wig, a towel and a pouch of chewing tobacco

Nothing like a nice, refreshing salad to go with a mouth full of chew.
 
2013-04-29 03:00:33 PM
Is the FLORIDA tag broken?
 
2013-04-29 03:00:43 PM
"Strange" tag, subby?

/Florida tag on vacation, I guess.
 
2013-04-29 03:00:49 PM

missmez: minoridiot: He also ate a salad that he brought with him,...

WTF?

I know, right? I thought raiding your victim's fridge was de rigueur.


My house was robbed once, among other things they took a half empty box of honey comb and a half gallon of milk
 
2013-04-29 03:01:19 PM

Halfmast Trousers: Is the FLORIDA tag broken?


Shaking my big fat fist at you, Mr. Ten Seconds.
 
2013-04-29 03:04:43 PM
Copter Cat is watching both of you masturbate.
 
2013-04-29 03:05:50 PM
Maybe that RC helicopter had a camera, and he wanted to rub one out to the camera.

/Yes, those helicopters are fun.
// Has one with a camera.
///couldn't do both at the same time
////Did I just say that out loud?
 
2013-04-29 03:07:23 PM

WhoopAssWayne: He also ate a salad that he brought with him ... Police confiscated a bag full of marijuana, other drug paraphernalia, a wig, a towel and a pouch of chewing tobacco

Nothing like a nice, refreshing salad to go with a mouth full of chew.


Tossed?
 
2013-04-29 03:07:55 PM
Hmmmmph....

I always just jerk it WHILE I'm playing with my RC helicopter....
 
2013-04-29 03:11:24 PM
His mugshot is now on the wall of every helicopter tour site.
 
2013-04-29 03:11:27 PM
I would assume the priorities for a "normal" burglary go like this:
1. Don't get shot
2. Don't get arrested
3. Get high value easy to fence stuff
4. Send message to owners that you can violate their home with impunity
5. Maybe grab a snack or the lady of the house's underwear

This burglar seems to have this set of priorities:
1. Enjoy the amenities I don't have at home
2. Crack one off in a stranger's house
3. Be considerate and bring a towel to clean up after myself
4. Cater this event myself; mom says I'll die if a gluten so much as breathes on me.  And I got to watch that figure, no one wants to be home invaded by a lard ass
5. Wear a wig, 'cuz wigs are fun!
6. Better bring the chaw; can't go an hour without that shiat

Not being caught did not seem to be on his list of priorities; so either it just did not enter his mind or he was OK with it.  Though maybe the towel was so he would not leave DNA evidence behind. I'd probably want a mental evaluation at any rate.
 
2013-04-29 03:13:41 PM
If the victims have any dignity at all, they would burn that house to the ground ASAP!
 
2013-04-29 03:20:32 PM

Pocket Ninja: The way you've constructed this headline, subby, it makes it sound like the couple was masturbating when the burglar came in and interrupted them to play with the remote controlled helicopter. I like that version better.


I was assuming this was about how a burglar used one of those terrifying new commercial drones to invade someone's privacy, and robbed their house when he saw them playing with themselves.  I also assumed by "couple" they mean, "college roommates experimenting".
 
2013-04-29 03:25:15 PM
Damn. Just, damn.
 
2013-04-29 03:28:14 PM
ADD's a biatch, ain't it? "Okay, Imma break into these people's house, steal some shi... whoa, I'm feeling a bit horny, lemme rub one out.... Ahhh, that felt great! Okay, let's get back on track. What to take, what to take... Wow, check it out! An RC helicopter! Cool! I'll take that. But first, let's take this baby for a spin, see if it works. Wheee! This is fun! Gettin' kinda hungry, glad I brought this salad. Burglary's hungry work, alright. Let's dig in... Mmmm, burglary sure makes a salad taste better, don't it? Tasty, tasty salad alright. Glad I brought my chaw for afterwards... Now, what was I here to get? Oh yeah, lookin' for valuables..."
 
2013-04-29 03:32:20 PM
If I let you in, you'll masturbate and play with my RC helicopter.
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-29 03:48:20 PM
i257.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-29 04:25:46 PM
Let he who is without the sin of house-jacking busteth the first wad.
 
2013-04-29 04:45:11 PM
This is completely ridiculous and irresponsible journalism.  Are we just supposed to guess what kind of salad dressing he used?
 
2013-04-29 05:03:13 PM
"He told investigators he went upstairs to masturbate in the bathroom when he found a
remote control helicopter.  Vickery said he found some batteries and started playing with the helicopter."

So he never masturbated.
 
2013-04-29 05:42:04 PM
Okay, who had the Roquefort?
 
2013-04-29 06:05:05 PM
Did the helicopter make a fap-fap-fap sound?
 
2013-04-29 06:36:38 PM
 mallrats.jpg
 
2013-04-29 06:38:20 PM

trappedspirit: This is completely ridiculous and irresponsible journalism.  Are we just supposed to guess what kind of salad dressing he used?


Maybe it was self-made.
 
2013-04-29 06:39:19 PM

Jument: trappedspirit: This is completely ridiculous and irresponsible journalism.  Are we just supposed to guess what kind of salad dressing he used?

Maybe it was self-made.


Creamy Bacon
 
2013-04-29 07:37:47 PM

kdawg7736: This guy must have a serious impulse control disorder or something like that, or maybe an obsession with remote-controlled helicopters...


Not at all. You're saying if you broke into somebody's house to jerk it, and you saw a sweet ass RC helicopter, you'd just walk right by?

You see a man with poor impulse control, I see an opportunist. Anyone here claiming they wouldn't play with an RC helicopter or hulk hands or one of those light sabers that makes the noises had they been in this guys situation is a goddamned liar.
 
2013-04-29 07:42:39 PM

90supraT: missmez: minoridiot: He also ate a salad that he brought with him,...

WTF?

I know, right? I thought raiding your victim's fridge was de rigueur.

My house was robbed once, among other things they took a half empty box of honey comb and a half gallon of milk


When my apt was robbed, in addition to the high value stuff, the robber stole the cord to my electric trimmer. Not the electric trimmer it was attached to, just the charging cord.
What a dick...
 
2013-04-29 09:19:51 PM
Guy looking for three meals and a bed or a guy with mental issues?

Either way, the system is broken.
 
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