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(USA Today)   Ladies and Gentleman, our Stand-up Comedian-in- Chief: "I know CNN has taken some knocks lately, but the fact is I admire their commitment to cover all sides of a story, just in case one of them happens to be accurate"   (usatoday.com) divider line 213
    More: Amusing, CNN, President Obama, Maureen Dowd, mock trial, White House correspondent  
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9321 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2013 at 12:59 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-29 11:29:12 AM
funny, but not without some serious bite:

"I know Republicans are still sorting out what happened in 2012, but one thing they all agree on is they need to do a better job reaching out to minorities. And look, call me self-centered, but I can think of one minority they could start with. Hello? Think of me as a trial run, you know? See how it goes.

"Of course, even after I've done all this, some folks still don't think I spend enough time with Congress. "Why don't you get a drink with Mitch McConnell?" they ask.

Really? Why don't YOU get a drink with Mitch McConnell?

 I'm sorry. I get frustrated sometimes.I am not giving up. In fact, I'm taking my charm offensive on the road - a Texas barbeque with Ted Cruz, a Kentucky bluegrass concert with Rand Paul, and a book-burning with Michele Bachmann.

 My charm offensive has helped me learn some interesting things about what's going on in Congress - it turns out, absolutely nothing.

...I'm also hard at work on plans for the Obama Library. And some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace, but I'd rather keep it in the United States. Did anybody not see that joke coming? Show of hands. Only Gallup? Maybe Dick Morris?
 
2013-04-29 11:32:59 AM
I got a bigger laugh than I should have from this one:

"These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit -- I'm not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be."
 
2013-04-29 11:34:25 AM

Magorn: funny, but not without some serious bite:

"I know Republicans are still sorting out what happened in 2012, but one thing they all agree on is they need to do a better job reaching out to minorities. And look, call me self-centered, but I can think of one minority they could start with. Hello? Think of me as a trial run, you know? See how it goes.

"Of course, even after I've done all this, some folks still don't think I spend enough time with Congress. "Why don't you get a drink with Mitch McConnell?" they ask.

Really? Why don't YOU get a drink with Mitch McConnell?

 I'm sorry. I get frustrated sometimes.I am not giving up. In fact, I'm taking my charm offensive on the road - a Texas barbeque with Ted Cruz, a Kentucky bluegrass concert with Rand Paul, and a book-burning with Michele Bachmann.

 My charm offensive has helped me learn some interesting things about what's going on in Congress - it turns out, absolutely nothing.

...I'm also hard at work on plans for the Obama Library. And some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace, but I'd rather keep it in the United States. Did anybody not see that joke coming? Show of hands. Only Gallup? Maybe Dick Morris?


i1282.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-29 11:44:06 AM
Turning to his partisan political opponents, Obama cited his recent dinners with Republican senators, and said, "I'll admit, it wasn't easy. I proposed a toast -- it died in committee."

HEY-oo
 
2013-04-29 11:44:12 AM
CNN found no humor in what President McCain had to say.
 
2013-04-29 11:52:44 AM
I'm also hard at work on plans for the Obama Library. And some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace, but I'd rather keep it in the United States. Did anybody not see that joke coming? Show of hands. Only Gallup? Maybe Dick Morris?

imageshack.us
 
2013-04-29 11:57:40 AM
...I'm also hard at work on plans for the Obama Library. And some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace, but I'd rather keep it in the United States. Did anybody not see that joke coming? Show of hands. Only Gallup? Maybe Dick Morris?


hahahahahhahahahahahahhaa
 
2013-04-29 12:26:50 PM

Magorn: I'm sorry. I get frustrated sometimes.I am not giving up. In fact, I'm taking my charm offensive on the road - a Texas barbeque with Ted Cruz, a Kentucky bluegrass concert with Rand Paul, and a book-burning with Michele Bachmann


I lost it at this one.
 
2013-04-29 12:34:34 PM
Great speech, very funny with some occasional misses. But seriously, CNN got eviscerated.
 
2013-04-29 01:01:09 PM

Magorn: .I'm also hard at work on plans for the Obama Library. And some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace, but I'd rather keep it in the United States.


Awesome.  Pure awesome.
 
2013-04-29 01:02:45 PM
The press and the politicians jerking each other off.  This is great news for the american people
 
2013-04-29 01:02:45 PM
The joke where he reminded Senator Cruz that Groucho Marx is different from Karl Marx was super lulzy too.
 
2013-04-29 01:03:30 PM
obama destroys his enemies at the correspondents dinner. so good. he gets more accomplished saying what everyone knows needs to be said, but carefully packaged in the form of jokes so he cant be nailed for it.

he destroyed trump this way.
 
2013-04-29 01:04:11 PM
He certainly has better writers than Bush Jr
 
2013-04-29 01:04:22 PM
But I wanna tell ya.

And how about a nice round of applause for Joey Heatherton
 
2013-04-29 01:05:28 PM
I find it amazing how no matter what they throw at this guy, he ends up owning the fark out of the absurdity of it.

He may never be known as a great president--but jesus can he handle people's bullshiat with a smile.
 
2013-04-29 01:05:46 PM

somedude210: Magorn: I'm sorry. I get frustrated sometimes.I am not giving up. In fact, I'm taking my charm offensive on the road - a Texas barbeque with Ted Cruz, a Kentucky bluegrass concert with Rand Paul, and a book-burning with Michele Bachmann

I lost it at this one.


Oh yeah, that one was just brutal.  And deservedly so.
 
2013-04-29 01:05:50 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: He certainly has better writers than Bush Jr


Bushes best writer was Stephen Colbert and we all saw how well that turned out for him.
 
2013-04-29 01:05:52 PM

Magorn: funny, but not without some serious bite:

"I know Republicans are still sorting out what happened in 2012, but one thing they all agree on is they need to do a better job reaching out to minorities. And look, call me self-centered, but I can think of one minority they could start with. Hello? Think of me as a trial run, you know? See how it goes.

"Of course, even after I've done all this, some folks still don't think I spend enough time with Congress. "Why don't you get a drink with Mitch McConnell?" they ask.

Really? Why don't YOU get a drink with Mitch McConnell?

 I'm sorry. I get frustrated sometimes.I am not giving up. In fact, I'm taking my charm offensive on the road - a Texas barbeque with Ted Cruz, a Kentucky bluegrass concert with Rand Paul, and a book-burning with Michele Bachmann.

 My charm offensive has helped me learn some interesting things about what's going on in Congress - it turns out, absolutely nothing.

...I'm also hard at work on plans for the Obama Library. And some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace, but I'd rather keep it in the United States. Did anybody not see that joke coming? Show of hands. Only Gallup? Maybe Dick Morris?


Are these all actually in the speech or did you add those last few?  Because either you or the president's speechwriters are farking hilarious.  I just want to know who to thank.
 
2013-04-29 01:05:56 PM
Even when he joked about his own graying hair, Obama called out his critics: "These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit -- I'm not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be."

hehehehe


hate him or love him he is a good comedian....can you imagine say Mitt Romney, Bush or even McCain crackig jokes and make people genuinely LOL?
 
2013-04-29 01:07:07 PM
Trollbama. My favorite Obama.
 
2013-04-29 01:07:24 PM

Chariset: Turning to his partisan political opponents, Obama cited his recent dinners with Republican senators, and said, "I'll admit, it wasn't easy. I proposed a toast -- it died in committee."

HEY-oo


I cracked up at this one.
 
2013-04-29 01:07:27 PM
Obama was as funny as Conan wasn't.  Who would have put bets on that outcome?

/well me, but I've never found Conan that funny
 
2013-04-29 01:08:53 PM
*Checks the comments section*

Yep, typical Republican butthurt.
 
2013-04-29 01:09:23 PM

Another Pretentious Nickname: Are these all actually in the speech or did you add those last few?  Because either you or the president's speechwriters are farking hilarious.  I just want to know who to thank.


They're really in the speech, and Obama said them out loud.  It's awesome.  Watch the C-Span clip of his whole talk if you have 24 minutes to spare.
 
2013-04-29 01:10:03 PM

that was my nickname in highschool: Obama was as funny as Conan wasn't.  Who would have put bets on that outcome?

/well me, but I've never found Conan that funny


Even when he causes the lamentations of the women?
 
2013-04-29 01:10:17 PM

that was my nickname in highschool: Obama was as funny as Conan wasn't.  Who would have put bets on that outcome?

/well me, but I've never found Conan that funny


Same. I didn't even watch is bit. No way could he have followed that.
 
2013-04-29 01:11:04 PM

Father_Jack: obama destroys his enemies at the correspondents dinner. so good. he gets more accomplished saying what everyone knows needs to be said, but carefully packaged in the form of jokes so he cant be nailed for it.

he destroyed trump this way.


He has a typical Liberal form of humour Republicans can't imitate.  They are incapable of making themselves the butt of the joke while at the same time actually making their opponent look silly.
 
2013-04-29 01:11:41 PM

SuperNinjaToad: hate him or love him he is a good comedian....can you imagine say Mitt Romney, Bush or even McCain crackig jokes and make people genuinely LOL?


Certainly it's impossible to picture that group using self-deprecating humor.  And I think that's kind of a microcosm of what's wrong with Republicans---they can never admit to being wrong on anything or else they're a weak-kneed RINO.  So, making jokes at their own expense is equally impossible---it's a form of admitting you are (or were) wrong or imperfect in some way, and modern GOPers can't acknowledge that.
 
2013-04-29 01:12:23 PM

SuperNinjaToad: Even when he joked about his own graying hair, Obama called out his critics: "These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit -- I'm not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be."

hehehehe


hate him or love him he is a good comedian....can you imagine say Mitt Romney, Bush or even McCain crackig jokes and make people genuinely LOL?


McCain wasn't too bad but Obama is a natural.
 
2013-04-29 01:12:35 PM

mrshowrules: Father_Jack: obama destroys his enemies at the correspondents dinner. so good. he gets more accomplished saying what everyone knows needs to be said, but carefully packaged in the form of jokes so he cant be nailed for it.

he destroyed trump this way.

He has a typical Liberal form of humour Republicans can't imitate.  They are incapable of making themselves the butt of the joke while at the same time actually making their opponent look silly.


Probably because they aren't smart enough to do it.
 
2013-04-29 01:12:37 PM

TimonC346: I find it amazing how no matter what they throw at this guy, he ends up owning the fark out of the absurdity of it.

He may never be known as a great president--but jesus can he handle people's bullshiat with a smile.


So much this. It is this that has me admiring the man that he is.
 
2013-04-29 01:13:23 PM

mrshowrules: Father_Jack: obama destroys his enemies at the correspondents dinner. so good. he gets more accomplished saying what everyone knows needs to be said, but carefully packaged in the form of jokes so he cant be nailed for it.

he destroyed trump this way.

He has a typical Liberal form of humour Republicans can't imitate.  They are incapable of making themselves the butt of the joke while at the same time actually making their opponent look silly.


Most likely because of the material available. When people make unwarranted critiques of you, you can turn that around with a joke. When people make very legitimate and warranted critiques of you, you're pretty much stuck with those characterizations.
 
2013-04-29 01:13:53 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Same. I didn't even watch is bit. No way could he have followed that.



I tried to at least listen while I was cooking, but it was so bad I didn't make it to the end.
 
2013-04-29 01:14:51 PM
He has a typical Liberal form of humour Republicans can't imitate.  They are incapable of making themselves the butt of the joke while at the same time actually making their opponent look silly.

This. It's called being a grownup. Republicans are toddlers.
 
2013-04-29 01:15:38 PM
Conan's bit pretty much tanked. Only a few comments were witty. His rushed style didn't help; it just projected the image of him working on the text the night before.
 
2013-04-29 01:17:25 PM

MugzyBrown: The press and the politicians jerking each other off.  This is great news for the american people


I don't mind one day a year the press and the politicians getting together and yukking it up. I just wish the other 364 days the press would pull their heads out of their asses and do their goddamn job instead of just trying to attract viewers with sensationalist bullshiat.

That Dick Morris joke was great.
 
2013-04-29 01:17:55 PM
Conan had worse delivery this time than when he did it in 1995, and the jokes were Leno-grade bland. Obama was a lot edgier and more entertaining.
 
2013-04-29 01:19:02 PM

HMS_Blinkin: Certainly it's impossible to picture that group using self-deprecating humor.


Bush tried using that with the "maybe the WMD's are under this table" bit. That didn't go over too well.
 
2013-04-29 01:19:49 PM
www.hollywoodreporter.com
Seriously, he should consider his own talk show.
 
2013-04-29 01:22:10 PM
He's just good at the format and he has a great sense of humor. This isn't about being a Democrat or a Republican. I could see Bill pulling it off but Hillary and Biden would be just as flat as McCain or Romney or Bush. Christie might have a few stingers up his sleeve.
 
2013-04-29 01:22:54 PM
I LOVE how he did a better parody of himself than any other network.  THIS was smart comedy.


/Shame we gotta deport him
 
2013-04-29 01:23:41 PM

TimonC346: I find it amazing how no matter what they throw at this guy, he ends up owning the fark out of the absurdity of it.

He may never be known as a great president--but jesus can he handle people's bullshiat with a smile.


Obama?  Nah. Clinton yes.  Obama is too thinned skin.  Taking Bullshiat with a smile is NOT one of his strongpoints.
 
2013-04-29 01:23:46 PM
Watching certain people criticize the rap entrance is amusing to me. Remember, it's those people's music. You can tell they want to say something like, "he's bringing the ghetto to the presidency," but they catch themselves in mid-sentence and qualify it with something like, "I'm not racist or anything, but..."

/suspects no one would care if Mitt Romney entered to a rock song
 
2013-04-29 01:24:09 PM

Danger Mouse: TimonC346: I find it amazing how no matter what they throw at this guy, he ends up owning the fark out of the absurdity of it.

He may never be known as a great president--but jesus can he handle people's bullshiat with a smile.

Obama?  Nah. Clinton yes.  Obama is too thinned skin.  Taking Bullshiat with a smile is NOT one of his strongpoints.


You uh...did you even WATCH the thing?
 
2013-04-29 01:24:19 PM

Smell the Glove: He's just good at the format and he has a great sense of humor. This isn't about being a Democrat or a Republican. I could see Bill pulling it off but Hillary and Biden would be just as flat as McCain or Romney or Bush. Christie might have a few stingers up his sleeve.


I think you're dead wrong about that one. Hillary is witty as hell, so I think that she could pull off telling jokes like this better than Obama.
 
2013-04-29 01:24:55 PM
I liked the slideshow of him having bangs.
 
2013-04-29 01:25:04 PM
"But part of the problem is everybody is so cynical.  I mean, we're constantly feeding cynicism, suspicion, conspiracies.  You remember a few months ago, my administration put out a photograph of me going skeet shooting at Camp David?  You remember that?  And quite a number of people insisted that this had been photoshopped.  But tonight I have something to confess:  You were right.  Guys, can we show them the actual photo?"

blu.stb.s-msn.com

"We were just trying to tone it down a little bit.  That was an awesome day."

/personal favorite
 
2013-04-29 01:25:04 PM
I kind of enjoyed the "I got 99 problems and Jay-Z is one of 'em. That's another rap reference, Bill"

Assuming he is referring to O'Reilly there.
 
2013-04-29 01:25:35 PM

Lando Lincoln: HMS_Blinkin: Certainly it's impossible to picture that group using self-deprecating humor.

Bush tried using that with the "maybe the WMD's are under this table" bit. That didn't go over too well.


Ya, jokes tend not to be very funny when they are at the expense of tens of thousands of innocent people's lives based on a big lie that cost us hundreds of billions of dollars.  But maybe I'm just being a little too sensitive?
 
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