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(BrianJones.com)   "10 ways to stop feeling guilty your friend is going to hell"   (brianjones.com) divider line 288
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15896 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2013 at 9:32 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-29 11:18:35 AM
 
2013-04-29 11:20:51 AM
Here's more from that site. He has an... interesting attitude toward fellow Xians.

Top Posts of 2012: #8

I think two of the most dangerous influences any church faces are (1) spiritual leaders who have lost their first love and (2) the onslaught of church hoppers. ...

I call church hoppers "connoisseurs of fine churches" because they're continually on a quest to find the church that is spiritual enough for them, will endlessly gorge themselves on the "services" of the churches they attend, and always have a critical word to say afterwards whenever "church" doesn't meet their standards.


15 Ways To Keep Church Hoppers From Coming Back

1) We've taken time during our biggest Sundays (Easter, Christmas, etc.) to de-invite Christian visitors from coming back the following Sunday.

2) We continuously remind our people NOT to invite their friends that are already Christians to our church.

3) During our introductory 101 class we take time to explain why 80% of the Christians in the room should never come back to our church.

4) When I meet visitors after the service and find out that they're from a Bible-believing Christian church, I always encourage them to go back to back to their former church.

5) When picking elders, staff, or volunteer team leaders we always look for those converted from within the ministry of our church first.

6) If a churched visitor attends our church and we find out they have unresolved conflict in a previous church, we deny them membership until they go back, resolve the conflict, and we receive written verification from that church's leadership.

7) We never advertise our church on the church page in the newspaper, on Christian radio stations, or in the Christian Yellow Pages.

8) Occasionally, for no reason, we instruct our ushers to punch people in the face if they look like they're visiting from another church.*

9) We don't design worship services that cater to consumeristic self-interested Christians who "want to be fed."

10) We never play in a local church softball league.

11) We have poker groups at our church.

12) We offer comedy nights with a mixture of Christian and non-Christian comedians, along with a cash bar.

13) We play non-Christian music in our outdoor speakers as people walk up to the building on Sunday mornings.

14) We preach in-your-face, sin-convicting, gospel-centered, prophetic messages that call people to repent, take up their crosses and suffer for the sake of the kingdom.

15) Finally, when all else fails, I strategically mention that the Left Behind series, Amish-based Christian fiction, and Thomas Kinkade paintings are blights on the Christian community.

That usually does the trick.

* Good news - due to the overwhelming pressure we received from certain Christian groups, we stopped the practice of punching Christian visitors in the face years ago. So if you are ever in Philadelphia please feel free stop by for a visit. ☺
 
2013-04-29 11:21:55 AM

Noobian Noob: In related news, someone just posted on facebook that she is trying to fast but the devil is making their stomach growl.

*facepalm*

it makes me sad to see so many ppl have fallen victim to this cult and its nonsense.


There's an ancient Japanese dieting technique known as "sepukku" that will get rid of that devil.
 
2013-04-29 11:23:21 AM
My grandmother died yesterday.  I've already had one family express her guilt/fear/concern that my grandmother was going to hell.  She claimed she prayed furiously for my grandmother's entrance into heaven.

Even as she is telling me all this on the phone, all I could think is, "Lady, you're farking nuts."   And I was stunned that ADULTS actually seemed to believe this shiat.  I mean, I always thought it was a lie they told kids to comfort them in their grief.  Yet, here's the adult woman crying because she fears my grandmother "hadn't accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior."
 
2013-04-29 11:24:32 AM
1-10) Come to terms with the fact that you're going to hell too and try to be happy that you'll at least have your friends with you.
 
2013-04-29 11:26:24 AM

Noobian Noob: In related news, someone just posted on facebook that she is trying to fast but the devil is making their stomach growl.

*facepalm*



I tried to crucify myself, you know to honor Jesus, but the devil made it hurt so bad I couldn't finish.
 
2013-04-29 11:26:46 AM

Bloody William: The idea that people need to be saved by faith and not by works is one of the most immoral, toxic concepts in all of civilization. It puts blind fealty over any sort of action or ideals of how to help others. It presents a god who is cruel, capricious, and holds his creations to standards that have nothing to do with how they treat each other and everything to do with how they bolster its ego. Saying god loves you because he forgives you is like saying your marriage is going well because your husband doesn't break your jaw as long as you make his sandwiches just right.


You know the story of Cain and Abel? I've always hated that. Ever since I was a kid I knew it was unfair.  Cain was a farmer and one season his crops didn't do well, and he didn't have a lot to offer God - but he still brought his best. Abel was a shepherd and brought his lambs to sacrifice. God arbitrarily decides he likes Abel's offerings but not Cain's and boom, you have the story of the first murder.

Surely God, who you know, made the crops fail in the first place, wouldn't be such a dick as to punish his creations for something not their fault?  Oh.

Of course it works much better as an allegory of two co-existing bronze age tribes, one agricultural and one pastoral.
 
2013-04-29 11:30:07 AM
Ok I'll bite.

This author is attempting to use shame and guilt to inspire people (fellow Christians) to act outside of their comfort zones, but composing a written blog and saturating it with sarcasm (which often doesn't translate well in written form) with no biblical references is kind of a weak attempt at best. Even at best, it's confusing, but he did just get his blog posted on Fark, so he's getting some attention and getting people talking about Jesus regardless.

There are a lot of main line Christian big wigs right now that are kind of teaching through the lens of guilt and shame, but they are framing it in a context that is antithetical to the "American version" of Christianity, and they put their money and time where their mouths are, plus they are backing up their statements and actions with Jesus' actual words. It makes a big difference.

Francis Chan gave up the pulpit at his mega church and his house to go take his family and live in a poor neighborhood to help people in the inner city in San Francisco. David Platt is teaching that we in America are so wealthy that we have no idea how to relate to the problems, starvation, and hatred directed at us because we simply can't relate. He also says that Pastors need to be less reliant on quips and witty remarks and instead actually teach from the book.

In my estimation if people actually modeled Jesus' behavior instead of trying to be smart about it, then we Christians might be making more of a difference in the lives of those around us. I think that's part of what the author was trying to say. He's stoking the fire, but not providing any timber.
 
2013-04-29 11:30:49 AM

Parthenogenetic: Dr Dreidel: Ned Stark: This is why I don't like moderate religious people. You think I'm going to hell for all eternity to face unimaginable torture because I haven't done something as simple as accepting Jesus and you aren't gonna be at least a little pushy about it? Well screw you Jack. Ill talk to someone who hives a damn.

[inigo.jpg]

A moderate doesn't get all up in your business about the fundamentals of their religious beliefs. That's called something else.

[that's the joke.jpg]

If you really, truly believed that everyone was doomed to spend eternity in Sheol, and that the simple act of accepting forgiveness from Jesus would prevent that, you would be preaching the Gospel night and day to anybody within earshot.

He's making fun of the apathetic Christian who professes to believe what is espoused in the Apostle's Creed, yet won't bother with trying to act on it because it is inconvenient and potentially embarassing.


This is what I don't get about all Christians. Apparently they don't give a single crap about me or most other people suffering for eternity because the most they will do to evangelize is ask me to go to their mega church once. The girl scouts are pushier when they sell their cookies.

Furthermore, I would clean up my act a little more if I really thought that non-belief would lead to an eternity of pain. I don't exactly understand how you can claim to really believe that and then not do exactly what Jesus said??
 
2013-04-29 11:32:19 AM
#0 Stop worry about what others do and concentrate on your own mountain of sin, assholes
 
2013-04-29 11:33:22 AM
My first thought:

25.media.tumblr.com

Then I was like:

media.comicvine.com
 
2013-04-29 11:37:53 AM
There are lots of Christian types in this thread that are attempting to pull the "I'm a rational christian, not like this crazy guy." thing. And to that I say no, no you're not. You are just as batshiat.
 
2013-04-29 11:42:06 AM
1. Here's the easiest one: Stop being a part of a church!
 
2013-04-29 11:43:00 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: You know the story of Cain and Abel? I've always hated that. Ever since I was a kid I knew it was unfair. Cain was a farmer and one season his crops didn't do well, and he didn't have a lot to offer God - but he still brought his best. Abel was a shepherd and brought his lambs to sacrifice. God arbitrarily decides he likes Abel's offerings but not Cain's and boom, you have the story of the first murder.


Gen 4:3-4 says that's not entirely accurate. Cain brings "his fruits", but Abel brings "his first-borns, the fattest [animals]" - the implication is that Abel offers the best of the best (A++++ would consume with heavenly fire again), and Cain offers only that which he can bear to part with.

I suppose you could make an argument that Cain's should have been "good enough", but the lesson of the story is that when you offer a sacrifice, it had better not be the dregs of your haul. "Good enough" is not good enough.

// besides which, Cain's beef was with god, not Abel
 
2013-04-29 11:43:07 AM

MayoSlather: There are lots of Christian types in this thread that are attempting to pull the "I'm a rational christian, not like this crazy guy." thing. And to that I say no, no you're not. You are just as batshiat.


We could care less what you think. You have more right to condemn our beliefs than we yours.

Go fark yourself you intolerant assbag.
 
2013-04-29 11:43:19 AM

Ned Stark: This is why I don't like moderate religious people. You think I'm going to hell for all eternity to face unimaginable torture because I haven't done something as simple as accepting Jesus and you aren't gonna be at least a little pushy about it? Well screw you Jack. Ill talk to someone who hives a damn.


I know you are making a joke of it but...I actually question myself on that. I cannot force you to change, but if I cared about you, wouldn't I at least try to get you thinking about it?

It's like finding out that your best friend knows this really, really amazing restaurant but never told you about it. Now multiply that by a magnitude of...whatever.

When you see people suffer from regret or sorrow, don't you wish they'd see fate as you do and find comfort in that?
When you see someone wasting their life in addiction, how can you just say "it's a personal choice" when you see the effect it has on them and their loved ones?
This lack of empathy has actually gone all the way to completely not caring about others, if not even reveling in others misfortunes.

In the wild, a male of a species would kill another male to mate with the female(s). Many people call humans animals, but would they accept this behavior in humans? What makes it 'wrong'?
If man is an animal, what makes people hate cheaters in both sexes?
Even more interesting are people who claim man is an animal, but then try to compel you to become a vegetarian.
In the animal kingdom the stronger animal takes the food, property and even sleeping place of the weaker animal. What makes it wrong for humans?

I think the biggest question is...what am I babbling about?

/no idea
//well, actually maybe just ideas, but no direction
///digressing slashies
 
2013-04-29 11:43:21 AM
 
2013-04-29 11:44:14 AM

Marcus Aurelius: In my experience, no good ever comes from "finding Jesus".


Why do people worship this guy? He sucks as hide and seek. People find him all the damn time.
 
2013-04-29 11:44:46 AM
Most of the people I've known who believed in heaven and hell--and my experience is of course purely anecdotal--didn't seem worried in the least that I was going to hell.  They were more or less like Patrick Warburton in that Seinfeld episode.  "Yeah, you should be worried, but it's not like it's gonna happen to me."

The whole thing has never made sense to me.  If you believe, then it's like a golden key that unlocks paradise, no matter what else you do, or neglect to do.  If you don't believe, then you are in torment for all eternity, no matter what else you do, or neglect to do.  That's what I got from Lutheranism as a kid.  There was also a subtheme that said that you really should evanglize to save more souls, but it was kind of in the vein of, "You really should lose some weight, you really should rotate your tires every six months, you really should be a courteous driver, but it's all secondary and optional.  Doesn't count on the final."

Side note:  I've known a very small number of people who were True Believers, devout, rigidly dogmatic fundamentalists.  Again anecdotal, but the ones I knew were also unfailingly kind, cheerful, polite, and never judgmental of me.  I remember talking with one once about my problem stepdaughter, and I dropped an f-bomb (quoting her).  He literally winced, in physical pain.  I've felt bad about that ever since.  He was one of the nicest people I ever knew.

I have always thought that they were the ones who actually read and absorbed the teachings of Jesus in the gospels.
 
2013-04-29 11:48:23 AM

MayoSlather: There are lots of Christian types in this thread that are attempting to pull the "I'm a rational christian, not like this crazy guy." thing. And to that I say no, no you're not. You are just as batshiat.


Yup. I am. There is no way to rationally explain one's faith to another human being....it is a personal experience unique for each individual. But I do believe in good and truth. I believe that evil exists, and so does good. I try to do good in my life based upon Jesus' example in the bible. I have seen people's lives changed for the better as a result of other batshiat people who believe the what's written in the batshiat book.

Not trying to kick a hornet's nest here, but trying to love and help people is a noble calling in life, and Jesus was the very best example that I can think of. Plus he's the one who said that he was the only way to heaven and that his followers would be hated.

Scorn should be expected if one claims to be his follower. If you don't ever experience a little friction as a result of your faith, then you're probably not being vocal enough about it.
 
2013-04-29 11:48:56 AM

Resident Muslim: Ned Stark: This is why I don't like moderate religious people. You think I'm going to hell for all eternity to face unimaginable torture because I haven't done something as simple as accepting Jesus and you aren't gonna be at least a little pushy about it? Well screw you Jack. Ill talk to someone who hives a damn.

I know you are making a joke of it but...I actually question myself on that. I cannot force you to change, but if I cared about you, wouldn't I at least try to get you thinking about it?

It's like finding out that your best friend knows this really, really amazing restaurant but never told you about it. Now multiply that by a magnitude of...whatever.

When you see people suffer from regret or sorrow, don't you wish they'd see fate as you do and find comfort in that?
When you see someone wasting their life in addiction, how can you just say "it's a personal choice" when you see the effect it has on them and their loved ones?
This lack of empathy has actually gone all the way to completely not caring about others, if not even reveling in others misfortunes.

In the wild, a male of a species would kill another male to mate with the female(s). Many people call humans animals, but would they accept this behavior in humans? What makes it 'wrong'?
If man is an animal, what makes people hate cheaters in both sexes?
Even more interesting are people who claim man is an animal, but then try to compel you to become a vegetarian.
In the animal kingdom the stronger animal takes the food, property and even sleeping place of the weaker animal. What makes it wrong for humans?

I think the biggest question is...what am I babbling about?

/no idea
//well, actually maybe just ideas, but no direction
///digressing slashies


on the contrary, when i see ppl really involved with religion I want to tell them how ridiculous they are being but I dont want to offend them.
 
2013-04-29 11:49:55 AM
Read without sarcasm, this is a good list of ways to be a decent friend.
 
2013-04-29 11:49:58 AM
I was raised in a Southern Baptist church, but it was shiat like this that drove me away.  So I'm a Hindu who was always faithful to my beliefs and spent my life helping others?  Sorry, you didn't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, go burn in hell forever and ever.  But, hey, I'm a real scumbag who spent my life cheating people, stealing, lying to others, but just before my death I repented and said I believe in Jesus?  Welcome to Heaven, Christian!
 
2013-04-29 11:50:44 AM

Langston: Dear Mr. Jones:

I presume that you came to your faith through reading, reflection, and prayer. I too, spent a good amount of time reading, reflecting, and praying. Somehow, even though we both did the same thing, I heard a different call.

I did not hear a chorus of angels unraveling a singular path in front of me that led to a legion of evangelical Christian angels blowing trumpets over the burned corpses of false religions. I read a story a man who preached kindness, and gentleness, and forgiveness. Who told me that if a man stepped up and slapped me across my face, I should turn my other cheek to him. Who told me that if a thief robs me of my jacket, give him my shirt as well. Who told me to love my enemies and worship in private. Who loved those who sought him harm, not raising his hand to them as they punished, tortured and killed him.

Those are lofty principles that I have tried to uphold. I do so with the knowledge that my faith is my own, and I accept that others will choose to believe as they will, even if they choose to believe only what can be shown and proven. This is their right and I respect that. I do not care that I am more or less correct than them, only that I live a life that benefits those around me.

I hope that the structure of the universe is such that all of us in some way become better with experience, including a consciousness and knowledge that transcends death, and brings us closer to perfection. I hope that the structure of the universe is such that justice is meted out perfectly in time, that the poor may be comforted and the rich humbled. That the cruel ones feel and understand the pain they caused and the humble ones encouraged.

I cannot say what Christianity is. I only know what I want to become.



Beautifully said.  As an atheist I agree with nearly all of it (except the part of hoping that consciousness transcends death - I don't want that at all!)
 
2013-04-29 11:51:52 AM

Dr Dreidel: God Is My Co-Pirate: You know the story of Cain and Abel? I've always hated that. Ever since I was a kid I knew it was unfair. Cain was a farmer and one season his crops didn't do well, and he didn't have a lot to offer God - but he still brought his best. Abel was a shepherd and brought his lambs to sacrifice. God arbitrarily decides he likes Abel's offerings but not Cain's and boom, you have the story of the first murder.

Gen 4:3-4 says that's not entirely accurate. Cain brings "his fruits", but Abel brings "his first-borns, the fattest [animals]" - the implication is that Abel offers the best of the best (A++++ would consume with heavenly fire again), and Cain offers only that which he can bear to part with.

I suppose you could make an argument that Cain's should have been "good enough", but the lesson of the story is that when you offer a sacrifice, it had better not be the dregs of your haul. "Good enough" is not good enough.


What does God need with a starship pile of fruit?  If, as someone else pointed out, God was the one who gave out the harvests and lambs to being with, why does he need them back?  And why demand the best?  That seems kinda dickish, especially if Cain is facing starvation because he gave the most nourishing part of his crop to someone who isn't even going to eat it.  "Here, have some cookies.  No, wait, I want the Thin Mint.  I actually think it tastes revolting, but it makes great tile grout."

// besides which, Cain's beef was with god, not Abel

Sounds like he's got a legitimate one.

/Greek ideas on sacrifice worked out well for them
//didn't hurt that Greek gods are apparently dumb as fenceposts
 
2013-04-29 11:52:29 AM

ReverendJasen: What's it mean when all those points were apparently meant as sarcasm yet they were all completely accurate?

Actually, I could have saved the poor guy a lot of typing and distress.
Step 1:  Mind your own business.
Step 2: Goto 1.


It means Christians are as good at satire as they are at their version of everything else they try to add their particular flavor to (Christian rock, Christian comedy, Christian children's cartoons, ect...)
 
2013-04-29 11:52:59 AM
Typical know it all Atheists shoving their beliefs down other people's throats.

Oh, wait, that logic isn't applied to the religious folks. They are just stating their beliefs!
 
2013-04-29 11:53:03 AM
What I most hate about these kinds of posts is that they're guilty of the very sin they so freely use to condemn others.

The Bible is just packed full of verses that say you'd flaunt your religion.  You're told to pray indoors with the doors closed and not to proclaim your religion on street corners are the marketplace because that's what hypocrites do.  So this guy comes along and loudly proclaims his religion in public while, at the same time, saying that people cherry pick their Bible verses to support whatever religious belief they have.

Yes, sir, they most certainly do.
 
2013-04-29 11:54:33 AM

MayoSlather: There are lots of Christian types in this thread that are attempting to pull the "I'm a rational christian, not like this crazy guy." thing. And to that I say no, no you're not. You are just as batshiat.


Well hell.  That makes it normal for fark
 
2013-04-29 11:54:44 AM

Langston: Dear Mr. Jones:

I presume that you came to your faith through reading, reflection, and prayer. I too, spent a good amount of time reading, reflecting, and praying. Somehow, even though we both did the same thing, I heard a different call.

I did not hear a chorus of angels unraveling a singular path in front of me that led to a legion of evangelical Christian angels blowing trumpets over the burned corpses of false religions. I read a story a man who preached kindness, and gentleness, and forgiveness. Who told me that if a man stepped up and slapped me across my face, I should turn my other cheek to him. Who told me that if a thief robs me of my jacket, give him my shirt as well. Who told me to love my enemies and worship in private. Who loved those who sought him harm, not raising his hand to them as they punished, tortured and killed him.

Those are lofty principles that I have tried to uphold. I do so with the knowledge that my faith is my own, and I accept that others will choose to believe as they will, even if they choose to believe only what can be shown and proven. This is their right and I respect that. I do not care that I am more or less correct than them, only that I live a life that benefits those around me.

I hope that the structure of the universe is such that all of us in some way become better with experience, including a consciousness and knowledge that transcends death, and brings us closer to perfection. I hope that the structure of the universe is such that justice is meted out perfectly in time, that the poor may be comforted and the rich humbled. That the cruel ones feel and understand the pain they caused and the humble ones encouraged.

I cannot say what Christianity is. I only know what I want to become.


I needed that.  Thank you.
 
2013-04-29 11:55:25 AM

CPXBRex: What I most hate about these kinds of posts is that they're guilty of the very sin they so freely use to condemn others.

The Bible is just packed full of verses that say you'd flaunt your religion.  You're told to pray indoors with the doors closed and not to proclaim your religion on street corners are the marketplace because that's what hypocrites do.  So this guy comes along and loudly proclaims his religion in public while, at the same time, saying that people cherry pick their Bible verses to support whatever religious belief they have.

Yes, sir, they most certainly do.


I think you mostly nailed the problem right on the head.
 
2013-04-29 11:59:16 AM

nmemkha: MayoSlather: There are lots of Christian types in this thread that are attempting to pull the "I'm a rational christian, not like this crazy guy." thing. And to that I say no, no you're not. You are just as batshiat.

We could care less what you think. You have more right to condemn our beliefs than we yours.

Go fark yourself you intolerant assbag.


1/10?

The misstatements, insults and illogical phrase use makes me think troll.  But then again, you could also just be demonstrating the intelligence of a typical believer.  Hard to tell.
 
2013-04-29 11:59:59 AM

stevetherobot: mamoru: Cythraul: What the fark did I just read?

 
2013-04-29 12:04:33 PM
genner: Marcintosh: to Judy- "why does my three year old need Sunday School?  She's a good kid, she doesn't do any thing wrong"
To me - It's not about religion, it's about control.
To Judy - I don't get it - she's three.  She does everything I ask her to.
To me - No, it's not about now, it's about later when you need to control her behavior
To Judy - ah, I see  .  .  .

So we decided that we would stop any religious activity toot - sweet and give her the choice of religions when she's out of her teen years, and our "control".
So far, the religious community isn't doing so well in her eyes.  Living right down to everyone's expectations.


If only there was some way to control the religious communities.......


There is, just walk out the door and leave it open.  Others will follow.
 
2013-04-29 12:05:53 PM

DaAlien: Nobody's posted this yet?


That's on one of my old mixtapes. I actually met Burroughs as a young man, in a bookshop in Toronto. He was precisely what one would expect him to be: the dryest looking human I've ever met.
 
2013-04-29 12:07:49 PM

Bondith: What does God need with a starship pile of fruit?


Why is it called an "offering" or a "sacrifice"? Because one wishes to show gratitude - you "offer thanks" to the Creator of All the Things. Because Cain was a farmer, that's the asset he had to spare. A sacrifice is meant, on some level, to say "I should be up there burning for my imperfections, but instead accept this substitute".

It's not that god needs it - you (the supplicant) do.
 
2013-04-29 12:15:57 PM
Strangely absent: abandon your bronze-age mythology and its primitive revenge fantasies.
 
2013-04-29 12:17:14 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: Queensowntalia: WhoopAssWayne: Ah yes, another enlightening thread with the fark teenaged atheists.

[imageshack.us image 287x312]

Don't worry - it's just a stage. Once you grow up a little more, you'll get over it.

Don't be silly. We don't have time to sit around debating Christianity. We're much too busy eating babies.

/Sriracha goes well

Oh, you're one of THOSE sorts of atheist, you worthless piece of trash.

Everyone knows the right choice is Tabasco.

/I want a schism all my own.


Frank's Red Hot.

I put that shiat on everything.
 
2013-04-29 12:17:31 PM

Dr Dreidel: Bondith: What does God need with a starship pile of fruit?

Why is it called an "offering" or a "sacrifice"? Because one wishes to show gratitude - you "offer thanks" to the Creator of All the Things. Because Cain was a farmer, that's the asset he had to spare. A sacrifice is meant, on some level, to say "I should be up there burning for my imperfections, but instead accept this substitute".

It's not that god needs it - you (the supplicant) do.


I'm just going to say that I will never understand this line of thinking and leave it at that, because from here on out it'll just be a thread full of arguing without any sort of resolution.
 
2013-04-29 12:19:30 PM
9. Every time the topic of hell comes up, bring up the example of the poor lonely native in Africa that's never heard the gospel, and how it would be horrible if God sent that person to hell. Then make sure you add, "That's not the God I choose to believe in." Because as we all know, if there actually is a Creator, he's too stupid to clearly communicate the way the world that he created works. And he definitely won't mind if you "create your own" version of reality.

So what is the accepted answer to this one?  It was the first chink in the armor of my relatively religious upbringing.  Well that and Numbers 31.  I've never found a satisfactory answer.
 
2013-04-29 12:21:34 PM
Not believing other people's delusions as reality has worked pretty well for me so far so I'll stick with that.
 
2013-04-29 12:25:27 PM

Langston: not raising his hand to them as they punished, tortured and killed him.


Which is what happens.  Jesus' philosophy only works if a very large percentage of people participate.  Otherwise, you end up like him:  no jacket or shirt, two slapped cheeks, and oh yeah, crucified.  Now you're dead and for what?  The hope that the people who did it will get theirs in a hypothetical afterlife?  Hey, it's your life and you can waste it trying to love people who don't give a single shiat that you're a living, conscious being.  Empathy is necessary and understanding is important, but if someone robs or attacks me, I'm going to stand up for myself.
 
2013-04-29 12:26:08 PM
I think my IQ dropped ten points from having read that.
 
2013-04-29 12:26:51 PM
10 Ways To Stop Feeling Guilty Your Friend Is Going To Hell Not Getting a Great Deal on Fine Amway Products
 
2013-04-29 12:28:39 PM

Precision Boobery: Langston: not raising his hand to them as they punished, tortured and killed him.

Which is what happens.  Jesus' philosophy only works if a very large percentage of people participate.  Otherwise, you end up like him:  no jacket or shirt, two slapped cheeks, and oh yeah, crucified.  Now you're dead and for what?  The hope that the people who did it will get theirs in a hypothetical afterlife?  Hey, it's your life and you can waste it trying to love people who don't give a single shiat that you're a living, conscious being.  Empathy is necessary and understanding is important, but if someone robs or attacks me, I'm going to stand up for myself.


Well that was different. Some people who disagree with the Christian belief system also disagree with some guy calling himself Jesus Christ, existing at some point.  Never mind that non-religion affiliated history books have blurbs about him roaming around.
 
2013-04-29 12:30:04 PM

Parthenogenetic: wingnut396: I May Be Crazy But...: Oh, you're one of THOSE sorts of atheist, you worthless piece of trash.

Everyone knows the right choice is Tabasco.

/I want a schism all my own.

Tabasco is crap.  Louisiana or Crystal Hot Sauce FTW...

You all deserve to roast in hell.

Really?  Y'all are discussing eating babies with HOT SAUCE? Disgusting!

Slow-roasted baby with tomato-based BBQ sauce is where it's at.


The more spiritually-advanced souls, such as myself, prefer mustard-based BBQ sauce.
 
2013-04-29 12:31:59 PM

cwolf20: Precision Boobery: Langston: not raising his hand to them as they punished, tortured and killed him.

Which is what happens.  Jesus' philosophy only works if a very large percentage of people participate.  Otherwise, you end up like him:  no jacket or shirt, two slapped cheeks, and oh yeah, crucified.  Now you're dead and for what?  The hope that the people who did it will get theirs in a hypothetical afterlife?  Hey, it's your life and you can waste it trying to love people who don't give a single shiat that you're a living, conscious being.  Empathy is necessary and understanding is important, but if someone robs or attacks me, I'm going to stand up for myself.

Well that was different. Some people who disagree with the Christian belief system also disagree with some guy calling himself Jesus Christ, existing at some point.  Never mind that non-religion affiliated history books have blurbs about him roaming around.


Any 'history' text the mentions Jesus existing is not 'non-religion'.   I'm not saying he didn't exist only that there is zero historical information to back it up and most historians tend to try and avoid making shiat up.
 
2013-04-29 12:32:13 PM
my favorite religious bumpersticker: 'Dear Lord,  please protect me from your followers'.  my other one is 'I've found Jesus, he was behind the sofa the whole time. '
 
2013-04-29 12:36:26 PM

Langston: Dear Mr. Jones:

I presume that you came to your faith through reading, reflection, and prayer. I too, spent a good amount of time reading, reflecting, and praying. Somehow, even though we both did the same thing, I heard a different call.

I did not hear a chorus of angels unraveling a singular path in front of me that led to a legion of evangelical Christian angels blowing trumpets over the burned corpses of false religions. I read a story a man who preached kindness, and gentleness, and forgiveness. Who told me that if a man stepped up and slapped me across my face, I should turn my other cheek to him. Who told me that if a thief robs me of my jacket, give him my shirt as well. Who told me to love my enemies and worship in private. Who loved those who sought him harm, not raising his hand to them as they punished, tortured and killed him.

Those are lofty principles that I have tried to uphold. I do so with the knowledge that my faith is my own, and I accept that others will choose to believe as they will, even if they choose to believe only what can be shown and proven. This is their right and I respect that. I do not care that I am more or less correct than them, only that I live a life that benefits those around me.

I hope that the structure of the universe is such that all of us in some way become better with experience, including a consciousness and knowledge that transcends death, and brings us closer to perfection. I hope that the structure of the universe is such that justice is meted out perfectly in time, that the poor may be comforted and the rich humbled. That the cruel ones feel and understand the pain they caused and the humble ones encouraged.

I cannot say what Christianity is. I only know what I want to become.


Had you not already been a totalfarker, I'd've sponsored you for this.
 
2013-04-29 12:36:26 PM

Dr Dreidel: God Is My Co-Pirate: You know the story of Cain and Abel? I've always hated that. Ever since I was a kid I knew it was unfair. Cain was a farmer and one season his crops didn't do well, and he didn't have a lot to offer God - but he still brought his best. Abel was a shepherd and brought his lambs to sacrifice. God arbitrarily decides he likes Abel's offerings but not Cain's and boom, you have the story of the first murder.

Gen 4:3-4 says that's not entirely accurate. Cain brings "his fruits", but Abel brings "his first-borns, the fattest [animals]" - the implication is that Abel offers the best of the best (A++++ would consume with heavenly fire again), and Cain offers only that which he can bear to part with.

I suppose you could make an argument that Cain's should have been "good enough", but the lesson of the story is that when you offer a sacrifice, it had better not be the dregs of your haul. "Good enough" is not good enough.

// besides which, Cain's beef was with god, not Abel


3: And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD.
4: And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering:
5: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.

I take your point, but it looks more like God just hates vegetarians.
 
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