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(Chicago Sun-Times)   FBI urges police to watch for people carrying almanacs. In other news, terrorist cell busted at local library   (suntimes.com) divider line 199
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7025 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Dec 2003 at 4:54 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-12-29 04:56:49 PM  
Geniuses surrender.
 
2003-12-29 04:56:51 PM  
can we wrap them up in duct tape and plastic?
 
2003-12-29 04:57:09 PM  
"Freeze, poindexter!"
 
2003-12-29 04:57:54 PM  
Ben Franklin, suspected terrorist sympathizer, is immediately hauled off to Gitmo.
 
2003-12-29 04:57:56 PM  
Same tired old liberal rhetoric in 1,2,3..
 
2003-12-29 04:58:02 PM  
Benjamin Franklin surrenders.

~D
 
2003-12-29 04:58:32 PM  
can we wrap them up in duct tape and plastic?
 
2003-12-29 04:58:44 PM  
all those poor farmers...

I'm glad the almanac-toting terrorists will be off the streets. Along with the 11 year old treehouse builders.
 
2003-12-29 04:58:47 PM  
My wife already believes I'm on a watch list of some sort. Think I'll take my almanac, and carry it everywhere. I'll have random post it notes strewn throughout.

Of course, I'm a white, middle class male, so I won't be questioned.
 
2003-12-29 04:59:03 PM  
Seriously, though...who do you know that carries an almanac around?
 
2003-12-29 04:59:24 PM  
And in other news, it has been discovered that oxygen can be used to create explosive. Authorities are warned to look for those using oxygen, but reminded that it can be used in legitimate "breathing" activities.
 
2003-12-29 04:59:36 PM  
I know where this came from!!! "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" shipped with an almanac to figure out the clues - and she was a terrorist! :)
 
2003-12-29 05:00:07 PM  
annotated in suspicious ways.

eg: Diagram of bridge with "Place Bomb Here" written on it.
 
2003-12-29 05:00:12 PM  
And folks with web access are bad too.
 
2003-12-29 05:00:18 PM  
and on the farm there was a terrorist E I E I O
 
2003-12-29 05:00:21 PM  
What could possibly help in an almanac... those things are like astrology for farmers.
 
2003-12-29 05:00:21 PM  

The people carrying these are the most deranged, ayup.
 
2003-12-29 05:00:43 PM  
ALMANACS? What are they going to do? Bore me to death with harvesting tips?
 
2003-12-29 05:01:06 PM  
first nail clippers, now almanacs.

the terrorists have won!
 
2003-12-29 05:01:42 PM  
Ad from page:

What if I don't? And shouldn't that be a question mark in the speech bubble instead of an "I"?

/ I gots nuthin'
 
2003-12-29 05:01:59 PM  
Same tired old liberal rhetoric in 1,2,3..


yeah seriously, can't these guys go back to doing nothing... or at least run around like the keystone cops.. I mean they start thwarting plans and actually doing shiat the hippies won't have anything to cry about..
 
2003-12-29 05:02:07 PM  
Down with the intelligentsia! Next on the list--eyeglass wearers!
 
2003-12-29 05:02:50 PM  
Please click this link and then turn yourself in.
 
2003-12-29 05:02:56 PM  
Thanks.
 
2003-12-29 05:03:35 PM  
Get out of this thread you smelly conservatives, we liberals are plotting to take over the 2004 election

WITH ALMANACS!!!!1
 
2003-12-29 05:04:04 PM  
Do you feel safer than you did 4 years ago?
 
2003-12-29 05:04:21 PM  
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the almanac-bearers
and I did not speak out
because I was not an almanac-bearer.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

--Pastor Martin Niemller
 
2003-12-29 05:04:44 PM  
Why stop with almanacs? Clearly anyone with
reading material is suspect:
 
2003-12-29 05:04:52 PM  
you have got to be farking kidding me.


police lieutenant : what's this ?
cop retiring today : a gym bag
police lieutenant : does that make me a suspect ?
 
2003-12-29 05:05:24 PM  
Slacquer

Great post.
 
2003-12-29 05:05:42 PM  
Vociferocicuss: Don't you mean 3, 2, 1? And besides, this is rediculous. People traveling or on road trips carry almanacs around. Often annotated ones.
 
2003-12-29 05:07:00 PM  
Jonas

Yes. And don't you mean ridiculous?
 
2003-12-29 05:07:23 PM  
As silly as this sounds, if it is a tactic used by terrorist, it makes sense to look for these things. Prior to 9/11 nobody would have thought twice about someone carrying a box cutter, even on a plane. Now that's a red flag. Police work is all about looking for things that don't fit in.
 
2003-12-29 05:08:48 PM  
Cue typical Republican whines in 3, 2, 1...

Hello_Kthullu
yeah seriously, can't these guys go back to doing nothing... or at least run around like the keystone cops.. I mean they start thwarting plans and actually doing shiat the hippies won't have anything to cry about..

Oops, too late again. Why is it that these "Republican" nationalists are always the first to start tossing around blame? They must really hate America.
 
LKM
2003-12-29 05:09:45 PM  
I'll just take my almanac and replace it with the slip cover for "Mein Kampf" and I should be ok...
 
2003-12-29 05:09:57 PM  
leathermidget

You sure are a busy little troll today aren't you?
 
2003-12-29 05:10:14 PM  
Fortunately, I prefer to carry an encyclopedia. I should be OK until they pass Patriot Act III next week.
 
2003-12-29 05:10:58 PM  
Remember kids, knowledge is terrorism. Bow before our Fuhrer Bush and do not question him, no matter how stupid his actions may seem. Thinking that your leader is not perfect is terrorism.

/Orson Wells
 
2003-12-29 05:11:27 PM  
Fortunately, I prefer to carry an encyclopedia. I should be OK until they pass Patriot Act III next week.
 
2003-12-29 05:11:48 PM  
Jonas- People travelling and on road trips require atlases, not almanacs.

Ms Information Thank you for the reference!

BillCo. You're right, but nowadays, alot of things look out of place. I'm still amazed that public trashcans are allowed... what a great place for an explosive. Why do you think Israel doesn't have them?
 
2003-12-29 05:12:17 PM  
Vociferocicuss

leathermidget

You sure are a busy little troll today aren't you?


Pot. Kettle. Black.

2003-12-29 04:57:56 PM Vociferocicuss

Same tired old liberal rhetoric in 1,2,3..
 
2003-12-29 05:12:42 PM  
Is it trolling if it's true?
 
2003-12-29 05:12:50 PM  
Jonas

People traveling or on road trips carry almanacs around. Often annotated ones.

You mean atlases, right? I don't think that knowing Millard Fillmore's vice president is terribly handy (or interesting) on those long road trips.
 
2003-12-29 05:12:54 PM  
Hmmm I used to believe that behind the scenes there were intelligent people running the show and we were better off letting them do their thing. With crap like this I feel less safe. Is this the best our "top" people can do, almanacs? They can't come out and just ethnically profile people nor would it be right, but we could make non U.S. citizens wear collars so we could identify them more easily.
 
2003-12-29 05:13:13 PM  
That's it. I'm turning in Grandpa, he sits on the toilet for hours reading the Farmer's Almanac. Obviously he's a Al Queda operative. All that landing on Normandy and fighting in the Battle of the Bulge was just a cover. I'll bet he's a communist too.


What's next? Look out for people reading, 'cause reading leads to thinking and thinking leads to questions and we just can't have that, can we?

Waiting for a pre-emptive strike on my city's library.
 
2003-12-29 05:15:09 PM  
2003-12-29 05:09:57 PM Vociferocicuss
leathermidget
You sure are a busy little troll today aren't you?

This from the guy with the first "it's the liberals' fault" troll? But, I have definitely been busy today.
 
2003-12-29 05:16:37 PM  
Who else thought of Mel Gibson when he bought that book in conspiracy theory, triggering SWAT teams and helicopters on his arse - (is buying a book in America really that rare?)
 
2003-12-29 05:16:58 PM  
leathermidget

This from the guy with the first "it's the liberals' fault" troll? But, I have definitely been busy today.

Not my quote. You keep reinforcing the lib stereotypes.
 
2003-12-29 05:17:22 PM  
2003-12-29 04:59:03 PM beeferoni

Seriously, though...who do you know that carries an almanac around?


My dad and I give each other copies of The World Almanac each year on christmas, and he carries his around for the first coupla weeks, and he marks it up and annotates it as well, little dashes here and there, circles some things, likes to point out colleges he's been to and landmarks he's visited by putting an asterisk and a star by them... probably the only thing that didnt get us picked up this christmas flying back home is the fact that hes pretty far up in TSA himself.
 
2003-12-29 05:18:03 PM  
Almanacs. Feh. I never would have guessed that knowledge of weather patterns for northern Kentucky over the past 100 years could lead to a breach in national security, but there it is.

***HOMELAND SECURITY FUN FACTS FOR 12.29.03***

1. Do not buzz the Statue of Liberty with your Cesna.

2. Hide all almanacs and other historical records when driving, especially if you've folded down the corners of pages with key information. If caught with such material, do not make any sudden moves and keep hands visible at all times. DO NOT make a move for the almanac at anytime. Deadly force has been authorized.

------

For the record, I support the whole Homeland Security thing, but even I have to admit this is pretty ridiculous sounding.
 
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