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(Pajiba)   The greatest Kickstarter project ever conceived is now available: A feature film based on Jack Chick's "Dark Dungeons" tract   (pajiba.com) divider line 66
    More: Amusing, Jack Chick, Dungeons, Zach Braff, Kickstarter, feature films, Reefer Madness, unstoppable force, feature length  
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2587 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Apr 2013 at 4:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-28 03:15:18 PM
Here's my money!
 
2013-04-28 03:18:05 PM
Hire Rob Zombie to direct.
 
2013-04-28 03:22:45 PM
I'm sorry but it already happened, and it's called the Veronica Mars movie kickstarter.

Unless we get a Firefly series out of kickstarter, or an isometric Fallout from it, ain't gonna be topped.
 
2013-04-28 03:23:21 PM

SilentStrider: Hire Rob Zombie to direct.


After Lords of Salem, fark no.

What a shiat movie.
 
2013-04-28 03:25:17 PM
By "greatest" do you mean we can donate money against the movie being made?

/some people leave the world a better place; and then people like Chick make the world a better place by leaving
 
2013-04-28 03:38:23 PM
That movie has existed for about 30 years..
 
2013-04-28 03:38:58 PM

kronicfeld: That movie has existed for about 30 years..


Sigh. Stupid unfetchable images. Mazes & Monsters, starring Tom Hanks.
 
2013-04-28 04:03:56 PM

UNC_Samurai: By "greatest" do you mean we can donate money against the movie being made?

/some people leave the world a better place; and then people like Chick make the world a better place by leaving


I would donate to that KickSTOPPER.
 
2013-04-28 04:53:42 PM
Jack Chick proves that evil can live a long time.
 
2013-04-28 04:53:49 PM
"$12,500 goal"

Either they left off a zero or two, or this isn't a real project.
 
2013-04-28 05:01:30 PM

UNC_Samurai: By "greatest" do you mean we can donate money against the movie being made?

/some people leave the world a better place; and then people like Chick make the world a better place by leaving


They're letting the source material parody it self from what I got from the video/description.

kronicfeld: kronicfeld: That movie has existed for about 30 years..

Sigh. Stupid unfetchable images. Mazes & Monsters, starring Tom Hanks.


That's also mentioned in the video/description as not going far enough in terms of "demonizing" the "evils" of *holding back laughter* roleplaying games.
 
2013-04-28 05:10:58 PM

Tatsuma: I'm sorry but it already happened, and it's called the Veronica Mars movie kickstarter.

Unless we get a Firefly series out of kickstarter, or an isometric Fallout from it, ain't gonna be topped.


Already happened.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/inxile/wasteland-2
 
2013-04-28 05:20:36 PM
kronicfeld Sigh. Stupid unfetchable images. Mazes & Monsters, starring Tom Hanks.

The real story took place in Ann Arbor(Googles 'Dallas Egbert') they shot it in New York(there were little  kids waving @ the camera)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IkuQouJqOA
/pretty sure I'm still the only Farker who's ever met Jack Chick
 
2013-04-28 05:34:02 PM
How did they get the film rights with no strings attached?  I find it hard to believe that Jack Chick's company would sell the film rights without some provision to make sure it wasn't going to be exactly this type of project.
 
2013-04-28 05:34:19 PM

Ogre840: UNC_Samurai: By "greatest" do you mean we can donate money against the movie being made?

/some people leave the world a better place; and then people like Chick make the world a better place by leaving

They're letting the source material parody it self from what I got from the video/description.

kronicfeld: kronicfeld: That movie has existed for about 30 years..

Sigh. Stupid unfetchable images. Mazes & Monsters, starring Tom Hanks.

That's also mentioned in the video/description as not going far enough in terms of "demonizing" the "evils" of *holding back laughter* roleplaying games.


I've worked on and off in hobby gaming since the mid-90s.  I remember having to answer questions from concerned moms.  Quite frankly, I don't like the idea of it even as parody because there will be people out there who don't get the joke.  I know it's silly, and I know I'm heavily biased, but I think the best thing to do is let his "legacy" rot and shrivel away, which is the best thing you can do for attention whores like Jack Chick.
 
2013-04-28 05:37:42 PM
Mazes & Monsters is fun if you're in the mood to get wasted and watch horrible 80's movies (I'll also recommend Gymkata, Tuff Turf, and The Time Guardian). The idea of turning a Jack Chick tract into a film sounds like a recipe for hilarity, but a full-length film for any one of them does seem like it would drag on a bit. I'd be more curious to see multiple tracts adapted into an avant-garde short film anthology. Just imagine Alejandro Jodorowsky, David Lynch, or Jan Švankmajer making films based on Chick tracts.
 
2013-04-28 05:42:52 PM
Hopefully this guy can produce movies better than he can read cue cards. And he kept saying, "your complete and other" instead of "complete and utter."

But that beautiful British girl in the glasses is going to be in this, all is forgiven. She is extraordinarily lovely.
 
2013-04-28 05:43:02 PM
Meh. Campy stuff isn't funny when it's intentionally campy. It won't work unless you can find some Christian fundamentalists to make the movie.
 
2013-04-28 05:46:33 PM

Walter Paisley: Mazes & Monsters is fun if you're in the mood to get wasted and watch horrible 80's movies (I'll also recommend Gymkata, Tuff Turf, and The Time Guardian). The idea of turning a Jack Chick tract into a film sounds like a recipe for hilarity, but a full-length film for any one of them does seem like it would drag on a bit. I'd be more curious to see multiple tracts adapted into an avant-garde short film anthology. Just imagine Alejandro Jodorowsky, David Lynch, or Jan Švankmajer making films based on Chick tracts.


Strangely enough, I started re-watching Mazes and Monsters in parts a couple days ago, and have a part queued up in another window right now.
 
2013-04-28 06:06:46 PM
This feels like a giant troll.  He goes on to say that the material will be presented with 100 percent seriousness and that this material can only be presented in a fully serious manner.  The backers are given levels.

/RPG's Are Evil the role playing game?
 
2013-04-28 06:20:05 PM
 
2013-04-28 06:25:49 PM
HAW HAW HAW! Those @!!**! religious kooks will finally get what's comin' to 'em!
 
2013-04-28 06:26:03 PM

StealthStalker: Sorry, thought this was about http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/13861848/camelot-unchained


You know, I'm a backer on that one and I'm looking forward to it, and I appreciate how the dev guy is answering people's questions, but there's just something about that guy that makes me hate listening to him for more than a few seconds.
 
2013-04-28 06:36:18 PM

Teufelaffe: StealthStalker: Sorry, thought this was about http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/13861848/camelot-unchained

You know, I'm a backer on that one and I'm looking forward to it, and I appreciate how the dev guy is answering people's questions, but there's just something about that guy that makes me hate listening to him for more than a few seconds.


I felt the same way. I think it's the intermittent hesitation when he starts to make a mistake, and then corrects himself.
 
2013-04-28 06:38:48 PM
A few examples for those who aren't aware of the hilariously over-the-top nature of Jack Chick's work. It's like getting a glimpse of a fundie version of The Twilight Zone.

25.media.tumblr.com24.media.tumblr.com24.media.tumblr.com24.media.tumblr.com24.media.tumblr.com25.media.tumblr.com

For more Jack Chick shenanigans, check out http://ohnojackchick.tumblr.com/, which is an archive of the most amusing panels from his tracts.

Here's the Dark Dungeons tract with commentary imagined as an episode of MST3K:
http://www.rpglibrary.org/inspiration/darkdungeons/index.php
 
2013-04-28 06:39:53 PM

Tatsuma: I'm sorry but it already happened, and it's called the Veronica Mars movie kickstarter.

Unless we get a Firefly series out of kickstarter, or an isometric Fallout from it, ain't gonna be topped.


Veronica Mars. Firefly. Christ (I don't know who's behind Veronica Mars but), how much is Joss Whedon worth by now? Say what you will about Kevin Smith, he maxed out his credit cards to make Clerks. Of course now that he's rich, he cut the ending that he wanted for Red State because the budget ran out even though he could have easily afforded  to fund it himself. It seems once they've made it, they're not so much passion projects anymore.
 
2013-04-28 06:41:28 PM

Mad Tea Party: Meh. Campy stuff isn't funny when it's intentionally campy. It won't work unless you can find some Christian fundamentalists to make the movie.


Get Kirk Cameron to direct and star in it, and you'll have comedy gold!
 
2013-04-28 07:05:39 PM

buckler: Teufelaffe: StealthStalker: Sorry, thought this was about http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/13861848/camelot-unchained

You know, I'm a backer on that one and I'm looking forward to it, and I appreciate how the dev guy is answering people's questions, but there's just something about that guy that makes me hate listening to him for more than a few seconds.

I felt the same way. I think it's the intermittent hesitation when he starts to make a mistake, and then corrects himself.


Definitely has some issues with the presentation. I just hope that we hit close enough for them to potentially re-kickstart in the future and not abandon, if it fails this round. Have also enjoyed watching Michelle (one of their concept artists) do her live streams.
 
2013-04-28 07:05:47 PM

flondrix: How did they get the film rights with no strings attached?  I find it hard to believe that Jack Chick's company would sell the film rights without some provision to make sure it wasn't going to be exactly this type of project.


From the official page:

Due to your obtaining the film rights to Dark Dungeon, will Jack Chick receive any money from this film?

No. Mr. Chick has not and will not receive any money from this film.
 
2013-04-28 07:07:37 PM
 
2013-04-28 07:08:23 PM
I'd prefer a movie based on Skeleton Jelly.
 
2013-04-28 07:30:27 PM

fusillade762: flondrix: How did they get the film rights with no strings attached?  I find it hard to believe that Jack Chick's company would sell the film rights without some provision to make sure it wasn't going to be exactly this type of project.

From the official page:

Due to your obtaining the film rights to Dark Dungeon, will Jack Chick receive any money from this film?

No. Mr. Chick has not and will not receive any money from this film.


Yes, yes, I got that from the article.  My question was how they got the right to do as they please with the source material.
 
2013-04-28 07:32:47 PM
It's not about iPad accessories or self-published steam punk novels so I highly doubt that this is real.
 
2013-04-28 07:42:23 PM
Dark Dungeons May Be The Reefer Madness For A New Generation

Whoever wrote that headline is a complete farking idiot. "A New Generation"? That tract is at least 30 years old. fark. It barely covers *my* generation, much less the dribbling young shiats who probably put this on kickstarter in the first place.
 
2013-04-28 07:44:29 PM

flondrix: fusillade762: flondrix: How did they get the film rights with no strings attached?  I find it hard to believe that Jack Chick's company would sell the film rights without some provision to make sure it wasn't going to be exactly this type of project.

From the official page:

Due to your obtaining the film rights to Dark Dungeon, will Jack Chick receive any money from this film?

No. Mr. Chick has not and will not receive any money from this film.

Yes, yes, I got that from the article.  My question was how they got the right to do as they please with the source material.


They told him they were going to help spread the message about the horrors of Satanic role playing games?
 
2013-04-28 08:22:06 PM
The first thing my friend did when introducing me to D&D (3rd ed at the time) was to have me read the Chick tract.  They then promptly gamer hazed me and got my thief killed by a dragon.  1st character ever made in a dice game, burnt to a crisp.

\CSB.
 
2013-04-28 08:22:45 PM

mat catastrophe: Dark Dungeons May Be The Reefer Madness For A New Generation

Whoever wrote that headline is a complete farking idiot. "A New Generation"? That tract is at least 30 years old. fark. It barely covers *my* generation, much less the dribbling young shiats who probably put this on kickstarter in the first place.


Except that the movie would be made now, meaning the movie would in fact be for a current generation.

/Linear time, how does it farking work?
 
2013-04-28 08:39:01 PM

fusillade762: flondrix: How did they get the film rights with no strings attached?  I find it hard to believe that Jack Chick's company would sell the film rights without some provision to make sure it wasn't going to be exactly this type of project.

From the official page:

Due to your obtaining the film rights to Dark Dungeon, will Jack Chick receive any money from this film?

No. Mr. Chick has not and will not receive any money from this film.


I really want to see some proof that the rights were received from Chick, this smells like a scam.
 
2013-04-28 09:42:29 PM

Mugato: Veronica Mars. Firefly. Christ (I don't know who's behind Veronica Mars but),


Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas.  They got a promise from their studio (Warner Bros?) that if they raised $2 million, the studio would pay part of the production and the distribution (which is a much safer bet once they saw the demand backing the $2m.)
 
2013-04-28 10:29:33 PM
Wouldn't Chick have to sign off on this? It is his IP, after all.
 
2013-04-28 10:57:14 PM

Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: mat catastrophe: Dark Dungeons May Be The Reefer Madness For A New Generation

Whoever wrote that headline is a complete farking idiot. "A New Generation"? That tract is at least 30 years old. fark. It barely covers *my* generation, much less the dribbling young shiats who probably put this on kickstarter in the first place.

Except that the movie would be made now, meaning the movie would in fact be for a current generation.

/Linear time, how does it farking work?


Humbug. Unless they make it about Twilight, no one's going to care. Hell, even thirty years ago the audience for something like this would be marginal. It's just another waste of time, money, and brains.
 
2013-04-28 11:39:19 PM
Shut up and take my money!
 
2013-04-29 01:44:09 AM

Walter Paisley: Mazes & Monsters is fun if you're in the mood to get wasted and watch horrible 80's movies (I'll also recommend Gymkata, Tuff Turf, and The Time Guardian). The idea of turning a Jack Chick tract into a film sounds like a recipe for hilarity, but a full-length film for any one of them does seem like it would drag on a bit. I'd be more curious to see multiple tracts adapted into an avant-garde short film anthology. Just imagine Alejandro Jodorowsky, David Lynch, or Jan Švankmajer making films based on Chick tracts.


Gymkata is to martial-arts movies what The Room is to actual movies...awesomely awful.
 
2013-04-29 02:22:49 AM

mat catastrophe: Dark Dungeons May Be The Reefer Madness For A New Generation

Whoever wrote that headline is a complete farking idiot. "A New Generation"? That tract is at least 30 years old. fark. It barely covers *my* generation, much less the dribbling young shiats who probably put this on kickstarter in the first place.


Well, it is from the time when Pepsitm was the choice of a new generationtm
 
2013-04-29 02:41:41 AM
The Dead Alewives already killed on this topic with a 3.5 minute audio spoof, and they did it way back in the 90's when anti-D&D hysteria was still marginally topical. Now this guy wants to make a full-length feature in effing 2013? He didn't just miss the boat, he's getting to the docks long after the river's dried up.
 
2013-04-29 03:14:16 AM
Mazes & Monsters reminded me a lot of C.S. Lewis's work in Christian apologetics, in that they both end up accidentally coming to the opposite conclusion of the one they intended to come to.
 
2013-04-29 03:30:04 AM
Oh, you want screwed up? The Chick tracts are nothing compared to The Crusaders comic books.

I was given a full collection of them as a kid, and they messed with my head something fierce.

http://www.cuttingedge.org/category_results.cfm?Category=11

www.stufffundieslike.com
tracts.boolean-union.com

tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com


Later in the comic....


tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com


Still Later. . .


tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com


It keeps getting better. . .

tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com


Five seconds later . . .


tracts.boolean-union.com

tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com


More stuff happens, and then. . .


tracts.boolean-union.com
tracts.boolean-union.com


Finally,   The More You Know. . .


tracts.boolean-union.com

And that's just one comic book... Some are worse and even more disgusting.
 
2013-04-29 03:49:41 AM
Oh, well... here are a few more gems:

www.boolean-union.com
It's funny... When I got this comic as a kid in the early 1980s, they had cassettes on the cover.
I guess they felt the need to update the message to be "hip" and appeal to the young folks.


The scene is a record producer's party...
www.boolean-union.com
Yes, kids. Everything BUT the cross is evil.


www.boolean-union.com
www.boolean-union.com
www.boolean-union.com
Yes, Stonehenge is evil, too.


www.boolean-union.com
I KNEW IT! The Beatles are secretly druids turning kids to Satan!!!


www.boolean-union.com
www.boolean-union.com
www.boolean-union.com
"How did they find out what we've been doing?" is just hilarious.
Incidentally, I used to take a witch language class, but I dropped it to take up goblin-speak.


www.boolean-union.com
www.boolean-union.com
And you thought McCartney and Lennon did all their own work.


www.boolean-union.com
www.boolean-union.com
SO DON'T BE FOOLED!!!!


www.boolean-union.com
www.boolean-union.com

coughfarenheit451coughnazigermanycoughcoughcough!

www.boolean-union.com
Oh, so now we look like Nazis.  GOOD JOB, GOD. THANKS A LOT!
 
2013-04-29 05:08:33 AM
Some group already made about 6 or 7 of chick tracts as shorts, just following the actual tract story word for word.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0827711/reference

Very low budget stuff, but some were pretty funny.  My favorite was on the tract "Wounded Children", but I can't find a video.

Doom Town

Party Girl

The Little Princess
 
2013-04-29 07:11:48 AM

DreamyAltarBoy: mat catastrophe: Dark Dungeons May Be The Reefer Madness For A New Generation

Whoever wrote that headline is a complete farking idiot. "A New Generation"? That tract is at least 30 years old. fark. It barely covers *my* generation, much less the dribbling young shiats who probably put this on kickstarter in the first place.

Well, it is from the time when Pepsitm was the choice of a new generationtm


It's the smile you can't hide....
 
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