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(Slate)   Woman wonders whether or not she and her husband have an obligation to help her husband's former mistress make mortgage payments he promised to her before their affair was exposed   (slate.com) divider line 76
    More: Dumbass, mortgage payments, Emily Yoffe, religions, car accidents  
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8953 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Apr 2013 at 3:31 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-28 01:39:24 PM
i1286.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-28 02:14:52 PM
Nope.
 
2013-04-28 02:24:45 PM
Well, the husband made a promise so he has a responsibility to uphold it.
So, after she divorces him and takes half his stuff, he should pay those mortgage payments out of his half.
 
2013-04-28 02:34:40 PM
If his name's on the note, HE has an obligation to pay it in full, if the mistress doesn't.

If his name's not on the note, he's under no obligations whatsoever.
 
2013-04-28 02:44:06 PM
Was it an oral agreement?  Then, nope.
 
2013-04-28 02:46:19 PM

teto85: Was it an oral agreement?  Then, nope.


I'm sure oral something was involved.
 
2013-04-28 02:51:49 PM
that first letter- confirmed atheist? why go through the trouble?
 
2013-04-28 03:33:48 PM
Since when is an advice columnist a substitute for a lawyer in a matter like that? Just lawyer up, if the mistress wants to go for the money she can get a lawyer too.
 
2013-04-28 03:35:02 PM

SpikeStrip: confirmed atheist?


What does that even mean?
 
2013-04-28 03:35:28 PM

Krymson Tyde: [i1286.photobucket.com image 850x757]


Yeah, I had to double-take to get the word order correct, too.
 
2013-04-28 03:36:11 PM

serial_crusher: Well, the husband made a promise so he has a responsibility to uphold it.
So, after she divorces him and takes half his stuff, he should pay those mortgage payments out of his half.


www.diosacommunications.com
 
2013-04-28 03:36:55 PM
This oral agreement is worth the paper it was written on or the medium upon which it was recorded.
 
2013-04-28 03:37:58 PM

teto85: Was it an oral agreement? Then, nope.


Oral Agreements are in theory enforceable, though difficult to prove.  Paper is used to make them provable.
 
2013-04-28 03:39:07 PM
The woman who wrote that seems like a really decent human being. It's awesome that she's able to separate her hurt over the affair from malice towards the woman involved. I wish more people handled those things with half as much decency.

That being said, no there's no obligation there. It's a sad situation all around though.
 
2013-04-28 03:39:24 PM

Krymson Tyde: [i1286.photobucket.com image 850x757]


I've always had conflicted feelings about that outfit.  The bottom looks like a diaper.
 
2013-04-28 03:39:28 PM
Is s confirmed atheist like a confirmed bachelor?
 
2013-04-28 03:41:18 PM
He made an oral agreement and one spouse is obligated to the stupid contracts the other gets into. Divorce is the obvious answer, but I wonder if this obligation would count as his debt when dividing the assets, which would be zero-sum for her, whether she keeps him or not. If she keeps the bum, she should make the payments with a smile. Bitterness will destroy anything, eventually.
 
2013-04-28 03:45:36 PM
Can he get the mistress and wife in to a three way? I mean, a three way that doesn't involve him being tied up and beaten to death by the wife and mistress. Okay. That kind of still works for me. How about a three way in which the wife and mistress tease him for hours with hot lesbian sex before beating him to death... No. That still works. Okay this: The wife and mistress tie him up and then go shopping online with his credit cards and 401k and then marking him as an undatable loser with the wicked, vile women scents so no other woman will ever approach him?
 
2013-04-28 03:46:00 PM
The one at the top of page 2 is even better:   My junkie sister who's lied and stolen from me in the past now says  she's using drugs again because my husband raped her.
 
2013-04-28 03:46:19 PM

Dear Jerk: He made an oral agreement and one spouse is obligated to the stupid contracts the other gets into. Divorce is the obvious answer, but I wonder if this obligation would count as his debt when dividing the assets, which would be zero-sum for her, whether she keeps him or not. If she keeps the bum, she should make the payments with a smile. Bitterness will destroy anything, eventually.


No.

He made the promise of a gift. A promise of a gift isn't enforceable.
 
2013-04-28 03:47:21 PM
Sweet buttery Jesus, she already had the cack, now she wants his cash too? What a whore. You get nothing.
 
2013-04-28 03:48:03 PM
He should help with the mortgage only if she continues to give him sex.
 
2013-04-28 03:50:12 PM

Dear Jerk: He made an oral agreement and one spouse is obligated to the stupid contracts the other gets into.


What was the consideration for the agreement? And before you say "mistress sex", realize that for public policy reasons, courts will not accept sexual favors as valid consideration.
 
2013-04-28 03:50:41 PM
 He made an oral agreement and one spouse is obligated to the stupid contracts the other gets into. Divorce is the obvious answer, but I wonder if this obligation would count as his debt when dividing the assets, which would be zero-sum for her, whether she keeps him or not. If she keeps the bum, she should make the payments with a smile. Bitterness will destroy anything, eventually.

No.

He made the promise of a gift. A promise of a gift isn't enforceable.ongbok:
Dear Jerk: He made an oral agreement and one spouse is obligated to the stupid contracts the other gets into. Divorce is the obvious answer, but I wonder if this obligation would count as his debt when dividing the assets, which would be zero-sum for her, whether she keeps him or not. If she keeps the bum, she should make the payments with a smile. Bitterness will destroy anything, eventually.

No.

He made the promise of a gift. A promise of a gift isn't enforceable.


I think he made a money for pussy deal.
 
2013-04-28 03:51:33 PM
I should say a money for affection deal.
 
2013-04-28 03:52:03 PM

Dear Jerk: I think he made a money for pussy deal.


That's called prostitution, and courts will not enforce contracts to perform illegal activities.
 
2013-04-28 03:53:08 PM
You are responsible for your mistresses' mortgage.  After all, you are part of everything.
 
2013-04-28 03:53:16 PM
Lady, your husband is an idiot.  He had an affair with a woman who has three kids.  That's the opposite of how those things are supposed to work.

Ditch him now, because he's just gonna be more trouble down the road.
 
2013-04-28 03:54:12 PM

FrancoFile: Lady, your husband is an idiot.  He had an affair with a woman who has three kids.  That's the opposite of how those things are supposed to work.


Maybe he's got a huge wang, and needed the additional looseness to be comfortable?
 
2013-04-28 03:54:37 PM
He promised her the world on a platter, the moon, the stars, and declared his undying love and affection for her, and promised he would leave his wife, and sweep her off her feet, take care of her, give her money and jewels, but in the end, all she got was a bad reputation, and a butt full of rancid gonad chum. Sorry sweets. Better luck next time.
 
2013-04-28 03:54:55 PM
You really should have gone with hookers, dude.  A mistress has way too much downside.
 
2013-04-28 03:55:38 PM

FrancoFile: Lady, your husband is an idiot.  He had an affair with a woman who has three kids.  That's the opposite of how those things are supposed to work.

Ditch him now, because he's just gonna be more trouble down the road.


Weeners
 
2013-04-28 03:56:30 PM

Brick-House: He should help with the mortgage only if she continues to give him sex.


This.
 
2013-04-28 03:58:13 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: He promised her the world on a platter, the moon, the stars, and declared his undying love and affection for her, and promised he would leave his wife, and sweep her off her feet, take care of her, give her money and jewels, but in the end, all she got was a bad reputation, and a butt full of rancid gonad chum. Sorry sweets. Better luck next time.


Aaaaaand the FARK band name is born.
 
2013-04-28 03:59:21 PM

Thanks for the Meme-ries: Bit'O'Gristle: He promised her the world on a platter, the moon, the stars, and declared his undying love and affection for her, and promised he would leave his wife, and sweep her off her feet, take care of her, give her money and jewels, but in the end, all she got was a bad reputation, and a butt full of rancid gonad chum. Sorry sweets. Better luck next time.

Aaaaaand the FARK band name is born.


/Bows deeply, ty...ty, ill be here all week. Try the catfish.
 
2013-04-28 04:00:27 PM
I told my husband that it is unnerving for me to have conversations with people if they are wearing sunglasses and I am not. It bothers me that I can't see their eyes but they can see mine. Their failure to remove their sunglasses so we can make eye contact strikes me as rude.

I like to protect my eyes, but more importantly, I think my sunglasses look good. You don't see me asking women to take off jewelry because I don't have my ears pierced.
 
2013-04-28 04:00:50 PM
Is the mistress hotter? Then why not just leave the wife and marry the mistress? Am I over thinking this?
 
2013-04-28 04:07:06 PM
I found the first one to be more interesting.
 
2013-04-28 04:08:42 PM
Dear Prudence,

Are you just making this sh*t up? Because it's starting to look like you're passing off fiction as fact.
 
2013-04-28 04:13:14 PM
Adultery is illegal in half the states. And the (oral) contract would be to provide adulterous services in exchange for rent money. Therefore the (oral) contract would be illegal in those states. But not others. IANAL.
 
2013-04-28 04:16:21 PM

teto85: Was it an oral agreement?  Then, nope.


Well, sort of...
 
2013-04-28 04:18:38 PM
It the words of G   of MGM  "oral contracts are not worth the paper they are written on".
 
2013-04-28 04:19:19 PM
If the mortgage involved butt secks and bringing her friends and sister over occasionally, I'd go for the mortgage.
 
2013-04-28 04:20:32 PM
Why doesn't the mistress and her family move in with the spurned wife and children? Think outside the box people!
 
2013-04-28 04:22:03 PM

Jacobin: Why doesn't the mistress and her family move in with the spurned wife and children? Think outside the box people!


Thinking outside the box is sort of what got them in this predicament in the first place...
 
2013-04-28 04:23:06 PM
They could take her & her brood in with the (contractual) understanding that she is Second Wife, and has to do everything First Wife tells her to do. It could work out well all around, or it could blow up in their faces. But they won't know unless they try, of course. Modern times are difficult.
 
2013-04-28 04:24:38 PM

Theaetetus: Dear Jerk: I think he made a money for pussy deal.

That's called prostitution, and courts will not enforce contracts to perform illegal activities.


Only when money changes hands.  Unless she said, "I'll give you x for paying my mortgage," or he offered to money for x - then it's solicitation.

But, IANAL
 
2013-04-28 04:25:49 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum: SpikeStrip: confirmed atheist?

What does that even mean?


They went to the Atheist church (the public library) and the atheist clergyperson (a notary public), after the laying on of hands (DHS pat-down), anointing them with Spiritually Indifferent Oil and Materialist Water (Newman's Own Caesar dressing) and a supplication to the memory of Nietsche, they are declared fully rational and God-free.

Why they keep the little white dress, I don't know...
 
2013-04-28 04:29:47 PM
Even if the agreement were signed and notarized, a promise to give a gift in the future is not enforceable
 
2013-04-28 04:40:42 PM

Dear Jerk: He made an oral agreement and one spouse is obligated to the stupid contracts the other gets into. Divorce is the obvious answer, but I wonder if this obligation would count as his debt when dividing the assets, which would be zero-sum for her, whether she keeps him or not. If she keeps the bum, she should make the payments with a smile. Bitterness will destroy anything, eventually.


I don't know.  I got divorced in California.  Here a marriage ends when the couple are no longer living together as man and wife.  That's the date of separation.  You can file for divorce years later and that still the date the marriage legal ends.

She could try the angle that by making a major financial commitment without his wife's knowledge the man has ended the marriage.  Thus the commitment doesn't apply to her.
 
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