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(Huffington Post)   President Obama: "I'm not the strapping young Socialist that I used to be"   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 104
    More: Amusing, President Obama, White House, White House correspondent, Odierno, Ryan Lizza, Julia Louis Dreyfus, charm offensives, Michael Clemente  
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3009 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Apr 2013 at 11:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-28 10:48:47 AM
That House of Cards bit was epic. Truly well done.
 
2013-04-28 11:08:20 AM
Yes you are, Barry.
 
2013-04-28 11:09:27 AM

jehovahs witness protection: Yes you are, Barry.


Dude, he's married. He's not gonna sleep with you.
 
2013-04-28 11:14:41 AM

NewportBarGuy: jehovahs witness protection: Yes you are, Barry.

Dude, he's married. He's not gonna sleep with you.


Is it cheating if he uses his time machine to go back in time and sleep with someone?
 
2013-04-28 11:16:58 AM

FirstNationalBastard: NewportBarGuy: jehovahs witness protection: Yes you are, Barry.

Dude, he's married. He's not gonna sleep with you.

Is it cheating if he uses his time machine to go back in time and sleep with someone?


Why would he need a time machine when he's already f*cking the entire country in the present?
 
2013-04-28 11:22:30 AM

jehovahs witness protection: FirstNationalBastard: NewportBarGuy: jehovahs witness protection: Yes you are, Barry.

Dude, he's married. He's not gonna sleep with you.

Is it cheating if he uses his time machine to go back in time and sleep with someone?

Why would he need a time machine when he's already f*cking the entire country in the present?


img.playground.ru
 
2013-04-28 11:22:57 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Is it cheating if he uses his time machine to go back in time and sleep with someone?


NO!

Executive Order 14276 states: "... time machine will allow all those who hold the position of POTUS exempt from all previous marital contracts. Dick Cheney will be allowed to devour the hearts of all children produced from said time machine-related relationships. Lego is now the official religion of America."
 
2013-04-28 11:27:13 AM
Wall Street giggles while swimming in Scrooge McDuck pools of cash.
 
2013-04-28 11:33:13 AM
I'll thank you not to steal verbatim my Facebook status updates from last night, submitter.
 
2013-04-28 11:48:14 AM
 
2013-04-28 11:51:04 AM

utah dude: http://2016themovie.com/


I'm stoked for the Olympics in Rio too!
 
2013-04-28 11:52:27 AM

utah dude: http://2016themovie.com/


Is that supposed to be a comedy?
 
2013-04-28 11:54:45 AM

NewportBarGuy: FirstNationalBastard: Is it cheating if he uses his time machine to go back in time and sleep with someone?

NO!

Executive Order 14276 states: "... time machine will allow all those who hold the position of POTUS exempt from all previous marital contracts. Dick Cheney will be allowed to devour the hearts of all children produced from said time machine-related relationships. Lego is now the official religion of America."


Wow. So let's deconstruct that executive order. The first sentence was obvioulsy written by Clinton, the second by Cheney when he was president in an alternate time line, and the third..... is really hard to figure out. Either George W when he was on a coke binge, or a future president we don't know about yet. Things get so messy when you start adding time travel into the mix. What with the infinite possible timelines and all.
 
2013-04-28 11:55:15 AM

jehovahs witness protection: Yes you are, Barry.


It just kills you that you're not half the troll Obama is
 
2013-04-28 11:55:23 AM

NewportBarGuy: utah dude: http://2016themovie.com/

Is that supposed to be a comedy?


i think so, yah. good call.
 
2013-04-28 11:55:36 AM

BigBooper: NewportBarGuy: FirstNationalBastard: Is it cheating if he uses his time machine to go back in time and sleep with someone?

NO!

Executive Order 14276 states: "... time machine will allow all those who hold the position of POTUS exempt from all previous marital contracts. Dick Cheney will be allowed to devour the hearts of all children produced from said time machine-related relationships. Lego is now the official religion of America."

Wow. So let's deconstruct that executive order. The first sentence was obvioulsy written by Clinton, the second by Cheney when he was president in an alternate time line, and the third..... is really hard to figure out. Either George W when he was on a coke binge, or a future president we don't know about yet. Things get so messy when you start adding time travel into the mix. What with the infinite possible timelines and all.


No, the third order was written by Reagan after Alzheimer's kicked in.
 
2013-04-28 11:55:56 AM

jehovahs witness protection: FirstNationalBastard: NewportBarGuy: jehovahs witness protection: Yes you are, Barry.

Dude, he's married. He's not gonna sleep with you.

Is it cheating if he uses his time machine to go back in time and sleep with someone?

Why would he need a time machine when he's already f*cking the entire country in the present?


Is that why I feel so good this morning?
 
2013-04-28 11:58:43 AM

clancifer: Is that why I feel so good this morning?


You came too?! I's MORNING in America!
 
2013-04-28 11:59:45 AM

jehovahs witness protection: Yes you are, Barry.


You don't really know what socialism is do you?

Maybe you should ask an actual socialist if The President is a socialist and see what they say.

I see you're just phoning it in again too.
 
2013-04-28 12:00:27 PM

utah dude: NewportBarGuy: utah dude: http://2016themovie.com/

Is that supposed to be a comedy?

i think so, yah. good call.


The real funny thing is that these same folks were saying that this was what 2012 was supposed to look like.

Either they're completely wrong, or Obama really is bad at bringing "1000 years of darkness" upon us.
 
2013-04-28 12:00:47 PM

utah dude: http://2016themovie.com/


I didn't know "The Onion" made movies.
 
2013-04-28 12:01:36 PM

Mrtraveler01: I'm stoked for the Olympics in Rio too!


it's sad because it took me like an entire minute to get your joke.
 
2013-04-28 12:02:43 PM

Mrtraveler01: Obama really is bad at bringing "1000 years of darkness" upon us.


i wish he'd hire me to help out, i could use the extra money. bonus points if said money is taken from a 1%'er.
 
2013-04-28 12:03:24 PM

utah dude: Mrtraveler01: I'm stoked for the Olympics in Rio too!

it's sad because it took me like an entire minute to get your joke.


Eh, it's still early for you (if you're in Utah right now), you can still use that excuse.
 
2013-04-28 12:03:39 PM

Raharu: I didn't know "The Onion" made movies.


nice.
 
2013-04-28 12:04:19 PM

Mrtraveler01: (if you're in Utah right now)


please get me out!
 
2013-04-28 12:04:41 PM

utah dude: Mrtraveler01: Obama really is bad at bringing "1000 years of darkness" upon us.

i wish he'd hire me to help out, i could use the extra money. bonus points if said money is taken from a 1%'er.


The real solution would be to get the private sector involved.

They could bring 1000 years of darkness upon us in the most efficient way possible at a very low cost.
 
2013-04-28 12:05:16 PM

jehovahs witness protection: Yes you are, Barry.


Serious question: Are you a paid shill?

And how desperate do you have to be before doing that?
Because collecting food stamps and selling your body are both more ethical.
 
2013-04-28 12:05:34 PM
Now he's an old Communist.
 
2013-04-28 12:06:38 PM

utah dude: Mrtraveler01: (if you're in Utah right now)

please get me out!


Are you at least in Salt Lake, Park City, or Moab?
 
2013-04-28 12:08:55 PM

NewportBarGuy: clancifer: Is that why I feel so good this morning?

You came too?! It's MORNING in America!


*puffs a cig*
 
2013-04-28 12:10:00 PM
I watched the speech this morning and I'm pretty sure he said "I'm not the young Muslim Socialist I used to be."
 
2013-04-28 12:11:14 PM

diaphoresis: Now he's an old Communist.


Shut up. He's younger than I am.
 
2013-04-28 12:24:25 PM

diaphoresis: Now he's an old Communist.


Anyone who calls an mainstream US politician a communist it too stupid to live.
 
2013-04-28 12:25:25 PM
Yeah no kidding you think?

That's because you're a Chicago school neoliberal, ya twit!
 
2013-04-28 12:28:09 PM

Airportmatt: I watched the speech this morning and I'm pretty sure he said "I'm not the young Muslimn Socialist I used to be."


Can we get it right, people! You are not giving enough effort to this sorority! Sigma Nu is gonna dump us!

i43.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-28 12:28:39 PM
Romney: "Uh, ah, uh... you're a stuttering communist."
Obama: "Oh yeah, well you're stupid."
Romney: "Nuh uh."
Obama: "Yeah huh."
Romney: "Uh."
Obama: "Ah."
Eagle: "CAAWWWW!"
 
2013-04-28 12:30:41 PM
He/his writer was much funnier than Conan last night. Coco was just... painfully bad, and not in an intentionally f-u way like Colbert's brilliant rant at Bush's dinner.
 
2013-04-28 12:34:14 PM

Incorrigible Astronaut: f-u way like Colbert's brilliant rant at Bush's dinner.


That wasn't comedy that night, my friend. That was truth to power. That was everything we had all pent up spilled out for the public to see. I don't think we will ever see that again in our lives.

Seriously, Colbert did on that night what the majority of the country wish they could, only in private.
 
2013-04-28 12:38:10 PM
I tried watching this last night on CNN.  They had a whole block of programming covering the dinner.  Instead of actually showing the speeches, they decided to have live video of the dinner in a small window in the corner of the screen, while they yammered on and showed clips from previous years' dinners.  Such a farking waste of a 'news' channel.
 
2013-04-28 12:39:21 PM

NeoCortex42: I tried watching this last night on CNN.  They had a whole block of programming covering the dinner.  Instead of actually showing the speeches, they decided to have live video of the dinner in a small window in the corner of the screen, while they yammered on and showed clips from previous years' dinners.  Such a farking waste of a 'news' channel.


It's usually on CSPAN commercial free. because soshulsism
 
2013-04-28 12:57:03 PM

Mrtraveler01: Are you at least in Salt Lake, Park City, or Moab?


no, i wi$h, i wi$h.

ah crap time to get ready for Church.
 
2013-04-28 12:58:35 PM

NeoCortex42: I tried watching this last night on CNN.  They had a whole block of programming covering the dinner.  Instead of actually showing the speeches, they decided to have live video of the dinner in a small window in the corner of the screen, while they yammered on and showed clips from previous years' dinners.  Such a farking waste of a 'news' channel.


Switched back and forth between msnbc and cspan. Besides Obama and Conan it was all about scholarships so you didn't really miss anything.

E! streamed the red carpet.
 
2013-04-28 01:00:34 PM

Airportmatt: I watched the speech this morning and I'm pretty sure he said "I'm not the young Muslim Socialist I used to be."


That is what he said.
 
2013-04-28 01:05:10 PM
"I'm not the young Muslim Socialist I used to be."

Nope, he's a full-blown Communist Allah at this point.
 
2013-04-28 01:08:02 PM
"Casino magnate Sheldon Adelson would have had better success getting Obama out of office if he simply offered the president $100 million to drop out of last year's race, Obama quipped."

I don't care who you are, that's funny.
 
2013-04-28 01:09:12 PM

Nem Wan: Airportmatt: I watched the speech this morning and I'm pretty sure he said "I'm not the young Muslim Socialist I used to be."

That is what he said.


Well then...I guess the subby must work for either CNN or the New York Post to have gotten it so...wrong...

/Honestly, I thought Conan was hilarious.
 
2013-04-28 01:11:09 PM
If Obama wants to show some stones, he should have Colbert come back sometime between now and his last term.  That'd be hilarious.
 
2013-04-28 01:13:22 PM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: NeoCortex42: I tried watching this last night on CNN.  They had a whole block of programming covering the dinner.  Instead of actually showing the speeches, they decided to have live video of the dinner in a small window in the corner of the screen, while they yammered on and showed clips from previous years' dinners.  Such a farking waste of a 'news' channel.

Switched back and forth between msnbc and cspan. Besides Obama and Conan it was all about scholarships so you didn't really miss anything.

E! streamed the red carpet.


Is there a red carpet event E! doesn't cover anymore?
 
2013-04-28 01:20:28 PM
Barack Hussein Obama is....
a Communist Nazi Muslim Socialist Peacenik Elitist Dhimmicrat Man-Child Egghead Blowhard Lightweight Girlyman Embarrassment Celebrity Jihadist Appeaser Jew Poseur Usurper Dictator Manchurian-Candidate Community-Organizer Cult-Leader Empty-Suit Empty-Chair Tyrant Bureaucrat Hypocrite Nerd Non-Citizen America-Hater Arugula-Muncher Marxist Terrorist Liberal Leftist Stalinist Welfare-Statist Narcissist Plagiarist Pottymouth Pantywaist Murderer War-Criminal Islamofascist Sleeper-Cell Ghetto-Trash Blame-America-Firster Fearmonger Racist Atheist Kenyan Keynesian Militant Flag-Burner Cyber-Luddite Child-Molester Anti-Catholic Drug-Lord Gun-Grabber Gun-Runner Lightbulb-Outlawer Disbarred-Lawyer Scarecrow Hipster Union-Thug Anti-Semite Media-Darling Fifth-Columnist Ponzi-Schemer Vacation-Abuser Lazy-Ass Flip-Flopper Black-Liberationist Abortionist Antichrist Coward Traitor Liar Trickster Death-Panelist Affirmative-Action-Case Evolutionist Fraudster Pothead Coke-Dealer Alinskyite Taxaholic Spendthrift Job-Killer Puppetmaster Soros-Minion Apology-Tourist Anti-Colonialist Subhuman Illegal-Alien Homogay Reptoid Hayes-Insulter Dog-Eater Weather-Controller Silver-Spoon Monarchist Teleprompter-Addict Chain-Smoker Yuengling-Swiller Hip-Hop-Barbecuer Taqqiya-Practitioner Hoodie-Condoner Stutterer Non-Tipper Binder-Clipper Pizza-Cheese-Eater Face-Blocker Havel-Snubber Malware-Propagator Dilatory-Kid-Killer Autopen-User Armwrestler-Phobic Churchill-Bust-Returner Misogynist Greenie-Weenie State-Miscounter Asian-Name-Flubber Tchotchke-Seller Mom-Jeans-Wearer Grey-Poupon-Supremacist Long-Legged Mackdaddy.
.... and probably a whole lotta other Bad Things too.  Truly, History's Greatest Monster.
 
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