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(The Sun)   Remember Justin Bieber's pet monkey that had to be quarantined in Germany a few weeks ago? He left it in an isolated cell with a teddy bear and has absolutely no intentions of ever picking it back up. "Mally is lonely"   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 69
    More: Followup, Justin Bieber, capuchin monkeys  
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5693 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Apr 2013 at 8:46 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-28 02:31:41 AM
what a dick.
 
2013-04-28 02:49:00 AM
It'll be fine. It's not like the Germans have ever done anything bad to innocent prisoners.
 
2013-04-28 03:19:51 AM
Would the Germans be interested in a trade? Send the monkey home and put Bieber in quarantine for six months? Might do more good.
 
2013-04-28 05:02:29 AM
Wow, his douchiness is growing at an exponential rate. before long he'll have a massengill rating of 8.5.
 
2013-04-28 05:30:21 AM
Where are those face-mauling chimps when you need them?
 
2013-04-28 06:54:38 AM
Maybe Dieter on "Sprockets" needs a new monkey.
 
2013-04-28 08:45:27 AM
Just like his other boyfriends?
 
2013-04-28 08:51:53 AM

Smashed Hat: It'll be fine. It's not like the Germans have ever done anything bad to innocent prisoners.


Besides, it's not like the monkey is Jewish.

/Maybe a gypsy though...
 
2013-04-28 08:53:38 AM
Has he fathered a kid named Blanket yet?
 
2013-04-28 08:55:54 AM

sithon: Wow, his douchiness is growing at an exponential rate. before long he'll have a massengill rating of 8.5.


That took me a second, but I laughed. Well done.
 
2013-04-28 08:58:35 AM
I was ok with all this back when Bieber was only torturing young girls with his impish face, fudge popsicle breath, dead eyes and 'music'.
But now he's dumping his interspecial girlfriends at foreign airports I'm upset.
 
2013-04-28 09:00:48 AM
They said the monkey was too young for him to have in the first place. What a farking douchebag.
 
2013-04-28 09:11:24 AM
You know I really hate monkeys, they freak me out.  But I gotta side with the simian on this one.
 
2013-04-28 09:12:53 AM
He'll get a tattoo of it.
 
2013-04-28 09:19:48 AM

vudukungfu: He'll get a tattoo of it.


I think he already did:

www.tattoostime.com
 
2013-04-28 09:20:23 AM
Just wait until the monkey learns to speak.
We shall call him Caesar...
 
2013-04-28 09:23:13 AM
Meh. I don't the people who listen to his music care he's a major league douche.
 
2013-04-28 09:33:20 AM
As I've gotten older, I don't wish death on random celebrities as often. I do wish punch on him, though.
 
2013-04-28 09:33:36 AM
See whenever I hate on the guy I'm always told that I'm jealous and I just don't like his music

But that's not it. I recognize that his music isn't for me. I just hate the guy cause he's a giant douchebag
 
2013-04-28 09:41:30 AM
It's not nice to refer to roadies as pet monkeys.
 
2013-04-28 09:44:20 AM

mr_a: Would the Germans be interested in a trade? Send the monkey home and put Bieber in quarantine for six months? Might do more good.


Yeah, and after 6 months Bieber will be back... The trade idea is good, but they need to fire up the ovens... you know, for old times sake.
 
2013-04-28 09:47:10 AM

Hugo Zorilla: Just wait until the monkey learns to speak.
We shall call him Caesar...


Will Ceasar demand Beiber be thrown into the Grand Canyon covered with flaming pitch? Because that would be awesome!
/Best part: Beiber would then be, wait for it, flaming!
 
2013-04-28 09:52:11 AM
Celebrities should not be allowed to have pets. They're not farking fashion accessories to be discarded you assholes.
 
2013-04-28 09:57:21 AM
Maybe he was an evil monkey.
images.wikia.com
 
2013-04-28 09:58:50 AM

YodaBlues: Besides, it's not like the monkey is Jewish.

/Maybe a gypsy though...


Or gay.  'cos that teddy bear looks like another dude to me.

/unlike Justin, who looks like a 5'7" douche
//why did I actually look up its height?
 
2013-04-28 09:59:49 AM
Wow. Now I have a reason to hate the little shiatstain.
 
2013-04-28 10:12:38 AM
No, I don't remember...
 
2013-04-28 10:17:33 AM
Whatever the motives at least the monkey is going to a better place.  Of course if he cared he would set the monkey up in some sort of wildlife sanctuary with a big donation.  Seems that he doesn't want to foot the bill for the transfer to a more suitable environment the way he is just abandoning it with instructions to send it to a zoo.
 
2013-04-28 10:29:57 AM

heavymetal: Whatever the motives at least the monkey is going to a better place.


That's what my parents said about my dog when I was six.  They lied.
 
2013-04-28 10:30:43 AM
This guy is gonna bite off more than he can chew one day and pick a fight with someone when his bodyguards aren't around and proceed to get his pretty little face kicked in.
 
2013-04-28 10:36:54 AM

Waiting for the Beiber to come back:


uploads.neatorama.com

 
2013-04-28 10:41:07 AM
It's over 9000
 
2013-04-28 10:43:42 AM

abhorrent1: Celebrities should not be allowed to have pets. They're not farking fashion accessories to be discarded you assholes.


^this^
 
2013-04-28 10:46:01 AM
I bet he didn't even have a leesence for that minkey.
 
2013-04-28 11:05:49 AM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: vudukungfu: He'll get a tattoo of it.

I think he already did:

[www.tattoostime.com image 492x536]


Selena? Just shows he's not worthy
oceanup.com

I feel bad for the little guy.

static.rumorfix.com
 
2013-04-28 11:05:58 AM
Within five years, we're going to find out just how prescient Harlan Ellison's 'Spider Kiss' was, you mark my farking words.  He's going to be half inside the corpse of the dismembered hooker he picked up.
 
2013-04-28 11:06:08 AM
Somebody please introduce this douche to crack or meth so that his demise is expedited in glorious fashion. Hopefully involving a transgendered prostitute, a police chase or standoff  and a donkey.
 
2013-04-28 11:22:38 AM

SpdrJay: Has he fathered a kid named Blanket yet?


Bieber has to reach puberty first.
 
2013-04-28 11:26:08 AM

skinink: Waiting for the Beiber to come back:
[uploads.neatorama.com image 505x461]


So... the monkey's name is Seymour?
 
2013-04-28 11:28:01 AM

sithon: Wow, his douchiness is growing at an exponential rate. before long he'll have a massengill rating of 8.5.


See, before I didn't like him 'cause he was a pretty boy singing caramel pablum for pre-teen girls.  But now he's edgy.  He's real.  I feel I can maintain--if not enhance--my street cred while listening to him.

But seriously, who the fark are this guy's handlers?  Is this really making him more money--the douchiness, that is?
 
2013-04-28 11:33:33 AM

abhorrent1: Celebrities should not be allowed to have pets. They're not farking fashion accessories to be discarded you assholes.


I think the exploiting ones are few and between. It was Hilton's fault for always having her damn dog around in her photos. Hugh Laurie has a pug dog but he doesn't run around the place holding it up to the cameras.

Exotic pets, however, are a huge farking no-no. People, even celebrities, think of them more as "SUPER COOL ANIMALS THAT SHOW HOW RICH YOU ARE" instead of the incredible responsibilities that each kind have. Any celebrity that owns one that isn't some kind of licensed veterinarian should have it taken away.

Lackofname: Wow. Now I have a reason to hate the little shiatstain.


I've been hating on him for awhile. I didn't care when he started out and got big. Girls liked him and even if his music was mediocre, he seemed like a nice kid. Then adulthood kicked in and he thinks he's the center of the goddamn universe. He has somehow built up more ego in a year than George Lucas did in a decade.
 
2013-04-28 11:41:48 AM
img.thesun.co.uk
OMG WTF!?! KNOCK FIRST!!!
 
Boe
2013-04-28 11:43:18 AM
I have two words for this twerp:

Leif.  Garrett.
 
2013-04-28 12:08:52 PM
Bieber-hatred aside, I for one think this is an interesting example of what celebrity plus unchecked egotism plus echo chamber can do to a person.  I've already added him to my celebrity death pool.  I don't think anyone has the keys to that echo chamber, or if there's anyone who would use them if they could, for that matter.

His parents have failed him.
 
2013-04-28 12:18:49 PM
Why is it that every time I see/hear the name 'Justin Bieber', I want to punch him in the face?
 
2013-04-28 12:24:20 PM
So no one read the article?

Outraged people: HE HAS NO BUSINESS WITH THAT MONKEY AS A PET. IT SHOULD BE IN A SANCTUARY!!!

Justin: Yeah, he should be in a sanctuary.

People in this thread: I WILL ACCEPT THIS HEADLINE AS THE FULL STORY AND VOMIT HATRED!
 
2013-04-28 12:26:50 PM

WizardofToast: Exotic pets, however, are a huge farking no-no. People, even celebrities, think of them more as "SUPER COOL ANIMALS THAT SHOW HOW RICH YOU ARE" instead of the incredible responsibilities that each kind have. Any celebrity that owns one that isn't some kind of licensed veterinarian should have it taken away.


I don't care what you say.  If I was rich, I'd definitely have a couple of these.

livedoor.blogimg.jp
 
2013-04-28 12:34:57 PM

Boe: I have two words for this twerp:

Leif.  Garrett.


Bieber in 20 years:

i.cdn.turner.com
 
2013-04-28 12:45:21 PM

s2s2s2: So no one read the article?

Outraged people: HE HAS NO BUSINESS WITH THAT MONKEY AS A PET. IT SHOULD BE IN A SANCTUARY!!!

Justin: Yeah, he should be in a sanctuary.

People in this thread: I WILL ACCEPT THIS HEADLINE AS THE FULL STORY AND VOMIT HATRED!


i.onfinite.com
 
2013-04-28 12:47:28 PM
cdn.head-fi.org
 
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