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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Benedictine monk arrested for trying to abduct underaged girls in his station wagon. With a totally not frightening mugshot   (suntimes.com) divider line 93
    More: Dumbass, Antioch High School, St. Benedict  
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17200 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Apr 2013 at 8:14 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-27 07:39:20 PM
When interviewed, the monk elected to remain silent.

Maybe he got tired of just using his psalms.

He claims he is not guilty because it was entrappistment.
 
2013-04-27 07:59:36 PM
When interviewed, the monk said his mother was Catholic and his father was Baptist. This created a paradox, and he could not ɟlǝsɯıɥ loɹʇuoɔ
 
2013-04-27 08:16:58 PM
"Come on, you're so beautiful, let me drive you home."

Has that ever worked?
 
2013-04-27 08:17:09 PM
So, another Chmura has been fooling around with underage girls in Wisconsin.
 
2013-04-27 08:17:18 PM
Time to start checking other missing girl cases in the area for the last 32 years.
 
2013-04-27 08:18:20 PM
I'm sure his penance will involve multiple ejaculations.
 
2013-04-27 08:19:53 PM
This whole country has gone crazy. It's getting to the point a 57y/o religious nut recluse can't even ask a 14 year old girl out on a date.

That's basically the all of biblical history right there, why do people hate Christianity?
 
2013-04-27 08:19:58 PM
What do you expect from a member of a religious order named after a liqueur?
 
2013-04-27 08:20:11 PM

Gwyrddu: I'm sure his penance will involve multiple ejaculations.


He'll be spending a lot of time on his knees.
 
2013-04-27 08:20:47 PM
Because prison rape is funny!
 
2013-04-27 08:21:19 PM
Antioch you say?

fc07.deviantart.net
 
2013-04-27 08:21:56 PM
  His street name was Chip...
 
2013-04-27 08:23:04 PM
A Benedictine monk from Wisconsin has been charged with trying to abduct a 14-year-old girl in Antioch last week.

This is how I interpret this.  He couldn't find the Holy Hand Grenade....had a little time to kill....made a stupid mistake.

www.wired.com
 
2013-04-27 08:23:14 PM
something about having that last name, and being from Wisconsin... seems to lead to statutory rape.
 
2013-04-27 08:26:53 PM
rnatalie....I should have refreshed first....sorry.
 
2013-04-27 08:28:41 PM
Goddammit you complete gits.

I thought of the holy hand grenade first
 
2013-04-27 08:29:37 PM
HOLY SCHNIKIES.

I thought monks were bald?  Isn't that a requirement?
 
2013-04-27 08:31:30 PM

FatherChaos: "Come on, you're so beautiful, let me drive you home."

Has that ever worked?


In a more innocent time it did.
 
2013-04-27 08:31:31 PM
He's a bad egg.
 
2013-04-27 08:31:35 PM

Wellon Dowd: What do you expect from a member of a religious order named after a liqueur?


Actually it's the other way round.
 
2013-04-27 08:31:56 PM
Way to reinforce stereotypes, Catholic clergy dude.
 
2013-04-27 08:32:43 PM
Go into the highways and byways and abduct children that my pedofeast may be full! It's in there somewhere right?
 
2013-04-27 08:34:06 PM
Rand Paul in ten years.
 
2013-04-27 08:34:18 PM
So if 14 is underaged, what is the age cutoff where you are allowed to abduct them?
 
2013-04-27 08:35:38 PM
"Officer, here's what happened . . . . "
 
2013-04-27 08:36:46 PM
I'm pretty sure this violates the rule of St. Benedict.

/Or maybe it doesn't.
 
2013-04-27 08:37:24 PM

Bathia_Mapes: Wellon Dowd: What do you expect from a member of a religious order named after a liqueur?

Actually it's the other way round.


I'm almost certain that was the joke.
 
2013-04-27 08:40:05 PM
anyone with a beard is either going through a crisis, is an ego maniac, or is a farking pedo rapist.

/prove me wrong
 
2013-04-27 08:41:12 PM
M. Chmura, 57, a monk who has been living at St. Benedict's Abbey in Benet Lake, Wis., for 32 years,

I can't imagine spending over half of one's life as a celibate God botherer.

I mean, I get that the original idea behind celibate priests was to avoid dynasties that could rival the rulers of the day in terms of wealth and power but that's hardly the case these days.
 
2013-04-27 08:41:28 PM

kidsizedcoffin: So if 14 is underaged, what is the age cutoff where you are allowed to abduct them?


Really, how old is 14?
 
2013-04-27 08:41:39 PM

FatherChaos: "Come on, you're so beautiful, let me drive you home."

Has that ever worked?


Hell, yeah!
 
2013-04-27 08:43:28 PM
Article is wrong.  The monk was from the Beendickinteen order not the Benedictines.
 
2013-04-27 08:44:13 PM

kidsizedcoffin: So if 14 is underaged, what is the age cutoff where you are allowed to abduct them?


Is it abduction if you drive them home and they want to go there?
 
2013-04-27 08:44:56 PM
Goodness - what would Brother Cadfael say?
 
2013-04-27 08:46:28 PM

redly1: anyone with a beard is either going through a crisis, is an ego maniac, or is a farking pedo rapist.

/prove me wrong


That's exactly what a non-bearded, ego-maniacal, pedo rapist going through a crisis would say.
 
2013-04-27 08:48:35 PM
I believe the age of consent should be based on who you follow. In this case with St Benedictine it is probably around 13 so let the guy go free.
 
2013-04-27 08:49:59 PM
"Come on, you're so beautiful, let me drive you home." When she refused, they said he told her, "Get in the car," but she ran, and he drove off. "

That is attempted abduction????

Where I live that is "Hello."
 
2013-04-27 08:50:08 PM

BarkingUnicorn: kidsizedcoffin: So if 14 is underaged, what is the age cutoff where you are allowed to abduct them?

Is it abduction if you drive them home and they want to go there?


That is up to the jury to decide.
 
2013-04-27 08:50:46 PM
Isn't he cutting into the priests racket? Oh.. wait. priests only diddle little boys.
 
2013-04-27 08:51:47 PM

grumpyoldmann: Isn't he cutting into the priests racket? Oh.. wait. priests only diddle little boys.


Yeah, monks are known pussy hounds.
 
2013-04-27 08:53:06 PM
What's with those guys? They go off by themselves for months at a time all alone in seclusion, just so they can eat some Hollandaise sauce breakfast dish.
 
2013-04-27 09:00:53 PM
Season 7 of Buffy all over again.
 
2013-04-27 09:00:58 PM
Well they have to get scribes somehow...
 
2013-04-27 09:03:32 PM

worlddan: "Come on, you're so beautiful, let me drive you home." When she refused, they said he told her, "Get in the car," but she ran, and he drove off. "

That is attempted abduction????


"Get in the car" could sound pretty aggressive depending on how he said it. But srsly not sure how this counts as attempted abduction. Without physical coercion, and withthe victim being 14 as opposed to an 8 year old who doesn't know any better, he's pretty much just being a creepy motherfarker, not a child abductor.

/Hey that last line kinda rhymed, sweet.
 
2013-04-27 09:07:03 PM
www.global-air.com
Check the status of any sex abuse case involving a Catholic priest or bishop by clicking the link above. (new window)
 
2013-04-27 09:07:26 PM

kidsizedcoffin: BarkingUnicorn: kidsizedcoffin: So if 14 is underaged, what is the age cutoff where you are allowed to abduct them?

Is it abduction if you drive them home and they want to go there?

That is up to the jury to decide.


Well no, that is for the law to specify.  Due process starts with fair notice of what is prohibited.
 
2013-04-27 09:10:06 PM

mongbiohazard: Way to reinforce stereotypes, Catholic clergy dude.


What are you talking about? The victim wasn't a boy.
 
2013-04-27 09:12:39 PM

ongbok: grumpyoldmann: Isn't he cutting into the priests racket? Oh.. wait. priests only diddle little boys.

Yeah, monks are known pussy hounds.


You mean they're not all ghey?

/nttawwt
 
2013-04-27 09:17:21 PM

catmandu: So, another Chmura has been fooling around with underage girls in Wisconsin.


thats what I was going to say
 
2013-04-27 09:18:17 PM
I have been abducted many times by St. Capuchin.


/hit me
 
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