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(Metro)   Two men use chainsaws to amputate their limbs in an attempt to defraud insurance company. ProTip: Cuts were too clean to be caused by an motor vehicle accident   (metro.co.uk) divider line 82
    More: Dumbass, motor vehicle accident, GamePro  
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12905 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Apr 2013 at 9:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-27 08:06:38 PM  
So, they punished themselves for the crime of theft before the theft occurred?

TIME TRAVEL!
 
2013-04-27 08:33:33 PM  
I've heard some stupid shiat in my time, this ranks right near the top.
 
2013-04-27 09:02:07 PM  
Oh Jesus christ. Is it too hard to 'fall' on a running chainsaw and claim it was an accident?
 
2013-04-27 09:02:40 PM  

Krymson Tyde: I've heard some stupid shiat in my time, this ranks right near the top.


Not as bad as the occasional Fark thread where some dude in India cuts off his own penis.
 
2013-04-27 09:03:59 PM  
Meh, conservative "Christians" in the US did this years ago. Here's Eric Rudolph's brother: Bombing suspect's brother cuts hand off with saw
 
2013-04-27 09:04:12 PM  
There's lazy.  And there's lazy as a religion.  So how's this "endless opportunity from money worship" thing workin'?
 
2013-04-27 09:04:17 PM  
sydlexia.com
 
2013-04-27 09:07:59 PM  
WTF... why not just go with the chainsaw story and sue homeowners?

What epic morons
 
2013-04-27 09:08:57 PM  
Jose, recovering in a bed next to his co-conspirator, Pablo.  He turns in the direction of his mutilated buddy and says, "tell me how this plan was going to work?"  Pablo, breathlessly wincing in pain, looks at Jose and responds, "stumps me, buddy."
 
2013-04-27 09:10:48 PM  

Alonjar: WTF... why not just go with the chainsaw story and sue homeowners?

What epic morons




OK I read the article... and I guess one guy did claim that... but how do you fark that up? I mean seriously...
 
2013-04-27 09:11:22 PM  
Should have used a handsaw.
 
2013-04-27 09:11:37 PM  
.jpg of Scarface shower scene.

/relevant
 
2013-04-27 09:11:41 PM  
They saw what they did there.
 
2013-04-27 09:12:07 PM  
"The accident took my thumbs, State Farm. MY THUMBS!"

img138.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-27 09:12:40 PM  
Bwahahahahahahaha!
 
2013-04-27 09:14:05 PM  
Maybe there was another reason.

i148.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-27 09:14:46 PM  
Gotta give them a hand for creativity, I guess.
 
2013-04-27 09:16:29 PM  
Wow, what a perfect storm of desperate and stupid.
 
2013-04-27 09:17:33 PM  
Damn you Dick CHeney!  Damn you to hell!

/you know his policies, affecting Spain, caused this to happen.  Look it up yourself.
 
2013-04-27 09:17:46 PM  
I find this story quite disarming.
 
2013-04-27 09:18:09 PM  
blog.zap2it.com
 
2013-04-27 09:18:23 PM  
c3380246.r46.cf2.rackcdn.com
 
2013-04-27 09:18:41 PM  
They obviously did not think their cutting plan all the way through.
 
2013-04-27 09:20:12 PM  
Nobody is that stupid.
 
2013-04-27 09:22:51 PM  

Bucky Katt: Nobody is that stupid.


Can think of people that desperate.
 
2013-04-27 09:23:29 PM  

jaytkay: Meh, conservative "Christians" in the US did this years ago. Here's Eric Rudolph's brother: Bombing suspect's brother cuts hand off with saw


Amateur.
 
2013-04-27 09:24:13 PM  

Sock Ruh Tease: They obviously did not think their cutting plan all the way through.


Brilliant.
 
2013-04-27 09:25:38 PM  
...this story...difficult...fap...
 
2013-04-27 09:30:24 PM  
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-27 09:32:47 PM  
They will be fine; our country's immigration policy and upcoming national medical care provisions are froaght with hand outs.
 
2013-04-27 09:35:00 PM  
I blame Obama!

/taking away their right to bear arms!
 
2013-04-27 09:35:05 PM  
*fraught

/stupid touch screen tablet and fat fingers...may need to obtain a special dialing wand.
 
2013-04-27 09:46:49 PM  

Peki: Bucky Katt: Nobody is that stupid.

Can think of people that desperate.


I owe Sallie Mae over $300K....and even I am not that desperate.
 
2013-04-27 09:47:51 PM  
who knew defraud meant fraud
 
2013-04-27 09:48:09 PM  

Bucky Katt: Nobody is that stupid.


Two people are, apparently.
 
2013-04-27 09:55:51 PM  
If they had any brains left they picked the opposing side.
 
2013-04-27 09:57:50 PM  
They never would have been arrested in the US, the 2nd amendment clearly gives them the right to pare arms.
 
2013-04-27 09:58:28 PM  
i23.photobucket.com

Nope.
 
2013-04-27 09:58:49 PM  
That's... that just goes against everything about being a functioning person.
I guess legs don't pay as much since they're, you know, not so freakin' vital to human experience?

Spain has been going through tough times, but I'd rather have two hands than $2.5m.
 
2013-04-27 10:00:26 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Peki: Bucky Katt: Nobody is that stupid.

Can think of people that desperate.

I owe Sallie Mae over $300K....and even I am not that desperate.


Pffft. That's just debt. There's way worse out there, dude.

/has discussed robbing a store to go to jail to get the first real meal she's had in three days
 
2013-04-27 10:01:04 PM  
Please somebody tell me this is a link to the onion

*clicks link*

/idontwanttoliveonthisplanetanymore.png
 
2013-04-27 10:04:32 PM  
/hot
 
2013-04-27 10:06:33 PM  
i.imgur.com

try again
 
2013-04-27 10:08:41 PM  
Bah.  This is old news.  It's been done before, like in the 1930's in Austria.
A woman named Martha Lowenstein got adopted by a rich and elderly man.  He died and she got all the money.  She later married a young man--one she had an affair with--and they got into a pact where he would cut off his leg for insurance money, claiming it was an accident.  They got caught since medical experts saw that AT LEAST three blows were given and that she helped in this.  They got convicted of insurance fraud.
She killed him off, her daughter, and a lodger living inside her house for insurance money.  They all died of intentional thallium poisoning.  She gave it to them.
She was executed.  Ironically enough, with an ax.
 
2013-04-27 10:21:16 PM  

thatboyoverthere: Oh Jesus christ. Is it too hard to 'fall' on a running chainsaw and claim it was an accident?


New chainsaws don't have locks that let you power it up and stay there, so yeah, it's hard.  An idling chainsaw can't cut through your entire arm - the chain will stop with little resistance, and you'd have to explain why you couldn't manage to get your body away in the two and a half minutes it would likely take to keep the blade running to cut all the way through.

A full running chainsaw, held by someone else, would still take some time to make it all the way through your arm, so you'd have to explain that.  It isn't like cutting off your hand with a lightsaber.
 
2013-04-27 10:21:43 PM  
It's only a flesh wound.
 
2013-04-27 10:22:06 PM  
Obviously they were not too handy with the saws.  Bloody stupid, says the Brit.  The one idiot really dis-armed himself!  Too bad they used cutting-age technology or they might have gotten an arm up on the insurance companies.
 
2013-04-27 10:22:48 PM  
...just thought about it... how did they cut off the final hand??
 
2013-04-27 10:25:08 PM  

LionHound: Should have used a handsaw.


Or used the chainsaw, but not started it.
 
2013-04-27 10:26:33 PM  
As someone who uses chainsaws in the spring to clear out land, recover from winter storms,  that is one ghastly f***ing wound to think about. They scare the sh*t out of me - and I think that's why I still have my digits and limbs.
 
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