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(NHL)   With three teams in the Western Conference still battling for two playoff spots, NHL's final day of the regular season will be a nailbiter. Devils @ Rangers 3pm EST, 13 games in total   (nhl.com) divider line 330
    More: Cool, sharks, Jaroslav Halak, nhl playoffs, brooms, Detroit, NHL  
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585 clicks; posted to Sports » on 27 Apr 2013 at 2:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-27 04:21:07 PM  

desertgeek: JosephFinn: I'm rooting for Columbus to get in just as proof that there are too many teams in the NHL playoffs.  Seriously, COLUMBUS?

The 48 game schedule allows for some lucky team to sneak in. Using the alternate systems that I've been working on all season, CBJ hovers between 9th and 10th in all of them as of now.

I'd argue that the more lucky team is San Jose. They've had 12 shootouts this year and won 8. Conversely, they've had 3 games decided in OT and lost them all. As of now, they have the 5th fewest ROWs in the West and yet, they could be a 4 seed. That's not right.


You make an excellent point. Incidentally, I wish Yahoo had an NHL playoff scenario generator like they do for the NFL; it's a lot of fun to play with.
 
2013-04-27 04:24:32 PM  

Flappyhead: OK folks, in preparation for next week I give you the Fark NHL Playoff Checklist.  Items will be added as necessary.

11)__________ is strong in this advanced stat
12)__________ is weak in this advanced sat
13)Neither team has the edge in this advanced stat
14)This advanced stat is constantly overlooked
15)STFU about advanced stats


imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-04-27 04:30:05 PM  
Oh, and

Flappyhead: 9)Rioting Canucks fans


As a Canucks fan, I generally hate other Canucks fans.
 
2013-04-27 04:31:31 PM  
I just discovered that Boston will have a Staples Center type situation tomorrow. NBA game goes there at 1pm EDT with the OTT @ BOS game at 7:30pm EDT. Shiatty ice tomorrow night for sure.

/Of course, they'll probably be able to put the basketball court into storage for the summer after that NBA game
 
2013-04-27 04:36:20 PM  
Is there not a game tomorrow because Boston decided to go all martial law?
 
2013-04-27 04:40:06 PM  

Panty Sniffer: Is there not a game tomorrow because Boston decided to go all martial law?


The game tomorrow was to been played on the day of the bombing (4/15). The game that was postponed due to the manhunt was played the following afternoon with Pittsburgh (the visiting team that day) moving their scheduled game that night to this past Tuesday.
 
2013-04-27 04:43:07 PM  

desertgeek: I just discovered that Boston will have a Staples Center type situation tomorrow. NBA game goes there at 1pm EDT with the OTT @ BOS game at 7:30pm EDT. Shiatty ice tomorrow night for sure.

/Of course, they'll probably be able to put the basketball court into storage for the summer after that NBA game


God I hope they do.
 
2013-04-27 04:43:49 PM  

Ishkur: Flappyhead: OK folks, in preparation for next week I give you the Fark NHL Playoff Checklist.  Items will be added as necessary.

11)__________ is strong in this advanced stat
12)__________ is weak in this advanced sat
13)Neither team has the edge in this advanced stat
14)This advanced stat is constantly overlooked
15)STFU about advanced stats

[imgs.xkcd.com image 258x344]


It's funny because it's true.  I damn near cancelled my THN subscription because Ken Campbell kept trying to force feed that stupid "Campbellnomics" system to everyone.  I actually disproved his little "theory" of assigning value to 1st and 2nd assists using, of all people, Kyle Wellwood.
 
2013-04-27 04:54:16 PM  

Flappyhead: It's funny because it's true. I damn near cancelled my THN subscription because Ken Campbell kept trying to force feed that stupid "Campbellnomics" system to everyone. I actually disproved his little "theory" of assigning value to 1st and 2nd assists using, of all people, Kyle Wellwood.


And, of course, the flipside of the coin is Skip Bayless using no stats whatsoever and just bleating utterly clueless and nebulous cliches like "this team won because they wanted it more" or "this team had the fire and passion and that's what won them the game". Saying absolutely nothing and saying an awful lot of it.

Fortunately, Mark Cuban gave him a nice, warm cup of STFU.

/Why do you play a zone, Skip?
 
2013-04-27 05:00:34 PM  

desertgeek: Oh, and you forgot:

- The nightly Don Cherry outfit image
- The Docisms from Doc Emrick
- Annoying Pens fans


Also...
-Edzo Bingo ("period of the long change," "active sticks," "most dangerous area of the ice," any mention of a   United States Hockey League team (bonus if it's an Iowa team, e.g. Sioux City Musketeers, Des Moines Buccaneers, etc.), "happy human," etc. etc. etc.)
-Darren Pan.gifs
-The NHL Suspension Flowchart (Playoff Version)
-Farking Pronger

/Go Wings.
 
2013-04-27 05:01:17 PM  

Flappyhead: I actually disproved his little "theory" of assigning value to 1st and 2nd assists using, of all people, Kyle Wellwood.


The whole thing about weighting 1st and 2nd assists is completely fallacious because it doesn't take into account type/quality of shot. If the goal was scored on a 2-on-1, the 2nd assist might seem meaningless OR it could be the most important pass of the play because it was the outlet pass from the D that sprung the players on the attack. But where it's really important is on deflections. The deflector scores the goal, so the guy who took the shot is the 1st assist, and he usually doesn't take it unless he's set up perfectly, which means the play is completely dependent upon the 2nd assist man making that perfect pass.

There are occasions where the 2nd assist doesn't mean much (empty net goals, dump and chase, etc.), but unless an extra metric is added that takes into account what kind of play scored the goal, then demarcating 1st and 2nd assists is illogical. As with everything else in hockey, things have a tendency to even out long term anyway. It's not a sport that lends well to "sabermetrics". There are certain aspects of it you can Moneyball, but you can't do it through mathematical modelling. The game is too fluent for that.
 
2013-04-27 05:07:00 PM  
Epic bullshiat in the Bulls Nets officiating.

/threadjack.
 
2013-04-27 05:12:06 PM  

Ishkur: Flappyhead: I actually disproved his little "theory" of assigning value to 1st and 2nd assists using, of all people, Kyle Wellwood.

The whole thing about weighting 1st and 2nd assists is completely fallacious because it doesn't take into account type/quality of shot. If the goal was scored on a 2-on-1, the 2nd assist might seem meaningless OR it could be the most important pass of the play because it was the outlet pass from the D that sprung the players on the attack. But where it's really important is on deflections. The deflector scores the goal, so the guy who took the shot is the 1st assist, and he usually doesn't take it unless he's set up perfectly, which means the play is completely dependent upon the 2nd assist man making that perfect pass.



Which is exactly what I pointed out using Wellwood.  It was back when he was a Leaf and he racked up three assists in one game.  One was a 1st, the other were 2nd, however the 2nd assists were what lead to goals being scored on that play.  He made a touch pass near the blue line to keep the play alive which set up a one-timer and a rebound goal then made a cross-ice pass through two defenders for a slap shot that got deflected.  Neither goal happens without Wellwood making that first play, but according to Campbell, they only count as half an assist.
 
2013-04-27 05:20:45 PM  
I don't mind the Rangers beating my Devils today and moving up out of the 8th spot. That will allow me to root against both the Penguins AND the Rangers in the first round.
 
2013-04-27 05:28:52 PM  
Did somebody dose Kovi with a handful of Ativan? This is f*cking pathetic.
 
2013-04-27 05:50:46 PM  
I expected tp be formally included on that list

Flappyhead: OK folks, in preparation for next week I give you the Fark NHL Playoff Checklist.  Items will be added as necessary.

1)Post 'shops, macros and images hyping your team.
2)Post 'shops, macros and images mocking your teams opponent
3)Cindy Criesby
4)WTF is up with these start times?
5)Oh God ________ is reffing tonight
6)Smug Detroit fans
7)Annoying Leafs fans
8)ITG Bruins Fans
9)Rioting Canucks fans
10)Incomprehensible Habs fans
11)__________ is strong in this advanced stat
12)__________ is weak in this advanced sat
13)Neither team has the edge in this advanced stat
14)This advanced stat is constantly overlooked
15)STFU about advanced stats
16)ICE GIRLS!!!!
17)Southeast Division complaining
18)Giant, in depth post from desertgeek(actually thought of this before clicking this thread)
19)Why is is this guy in the lineup?
20)Why isn't this guy in the lineup?
21)Someone gives up mid-game and goes looking for beer
22)Someone comes back late and finds their team has tied/taken the lead
23)BONUS HOCKEY!

 
2013-04-27 05:52:30 PM  
Remember how desertgeek was certain the coyotes were to be bought by jamison? Lolz
 
2013-04-27 05:54:23 PM  
Desert geek is also wrong. Leafs are not set in their positions. They can still fall to 6th place
 
2013-04-27 05:58:36 PM  
Also if leafs play canadiens NBC should choose to show that series before any american teams. Why you may ask? Because it will be the series of the playoffs. It will probably out rank philly and pittsburgh of last year. If you want new people to fall in love with the NHL this is the series you tell them to watch.
 
2013-04-27 06:08:57 PM  
24) ontariolightning threadshiatting the entire playoffs
 
2013-04-27 06:10:31 PM  
Ps.

You agreed not to post in any hockey threads this year if Phoenix was still around.

Not that I expected you to live up to your end of the bet last year or anything.
 
2013-04-27 06:13:51 PM  

MrJesus: Ps.

You agreed not to post in any hockey threads this year if Phoenix was still around.

Not that I expected you to live up to your end of the bet last year or anything.


show me the screenshot and i will. I dont remember it. It was a year a go
 
2013-04-27 06:18:02 PM  

JosephFinn: I'm rooting for Columbus to get in just as proof that there are too many teams in the NHL playoffs.  Seriously, COLUMBUS?


Oh, come on. CBJ has been playing some inspired hockey as of late. Just give us this one, ok?

/Go Jackets!!
 
2013-04-27 06:18:55 PM  

MrJesus: Ps.

You agreed not to post in any hockey threads this year if Phoenix was still around.

Not that I expected you to live up to your end of the bet last year or anything.


Ps.

I will be watching the playoffs with real people this time and not on an internet forums with people who annoy me. You will miss my presence though.
 
2013-04-27 06:22:14 PM  

ontariolightning: show me the screenshot and i will. I dont remember it. It was a year a go


This is going to be great.
 
2013-04-27 06:23:25 PM  

ontariolightning: You will miss my presence though.



4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-27 06:28:16 PM  

Popcorn Johnny: ontariolightning: show me the screenshot and i will. I dont remember it. It was a year a go

This is going to be great.


F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5  F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5  F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 .....
 
2013-04-27 06:35:47 PM  
Since we lost Ontario bring back MIguy for the duration of Detroit's humiliation
 
2013-04-27 06:38:04 PM  
We need a heel and SMITHS isnt drunk enogh yet
 
2013-04-27 06:41:08 PM  
I missed part of the game due to some other things I had to do today. I did want to bring up one thing. NBC never mentioned that TOR was locked into place and they're right. I failed to account for Ottawa's extra game. Farkin' bombers...
 
2013-04-27 06:43:11 PM  

Popcorn Johnny: ontariolightning: show me the screenshot and i will. I dont remember it. It was a year a go

This is going to be great.


The inevitable "Curse of Keon" talk after the first round will be gold Jerry, gold.
 
2013-04-27 06:45:00 PM  

ontariolightning: MrJesus: Ps.

You agreed not to post in any hockey threads this year if Phoenix was still around.

Not that I expected you to live up to your end of the bet last year or anything.

show me the screenshot and i will. I dont remember it. It was a year a go


You got lucky.

http://www.fark.com/comments/7155827/77425170#c77425170

It specified 2012. You should still leave though.
 
2013-04-27 06:49:18 PM  
Updated Eastern Conference scenarios (with corrections for errors):

Eastern Conference

The following teams are locked into their positions:

1- Pittsburgh
3- Washington

Northeast Division Title and #2 seed

Boston- 61 pts, 25 ROWs, 2 games remaining: @WSH, vs OTT
Montreal- 61 pts, 25 ROWs, 1 game remaining: @TOR

Scenarios:

If Montreal wins in regulation or OT @TOR Saturday night:
Boston wins the division by going no worse than 1-0-1
Montreal wins if BOS goes 1-1-0 or worse (Montreal owns the 2nd tiebreaker of head-to-head results, BOS win coming in a SO would give ROW tiebreak to MTL)

If MTL wins in a shootout:
Boston wins the division by going 1-1-0 with the win coming in regulation or OT (ROW tiebreaker win) or better
Montreal wins if BOS goes 0-0-2 or worse

If MTL loses in OT or SO
BOS wins by going 1-1-0 or 0-0-2 or better
MTL wins if BOS goes 0-1-1 (head-to-head tiebreak) or worse

If MTL loses in regulation
BOS requires minimum 1 OT game to win division (regardless of result)
MTL wins only if BOS goes 0-2-0

Loser in each scenario becomes #4 seed

Seeds 5, 6, 7 and 8

Standings as of Saturday, 3:30pm EDT

5) Toronto: 56 pts, 26 ROW, 1 game remaining: @MTL
6) NY Rangers: 54 pts, 21 ROWs, 0 games remaining 
7) NY Islanders: 55 pts, 20 ROWs, 0 games remaining
8) Ottawa: 54 pts, 20 ROWs, 2 games remaining: vs PHI, @BOS

Mini table for the scenarios:

If NYR wins in regulation or OT:
OTT goes 1-0-1 or better: #6 seed OTT, #7 NYR, #8 NYI
OTT goes 1-1-0, 0-0-2 or 0-1-1: #6 NYR, #7 OTT, #8 NYI (OTT 0-1-1 would lead to head-to-head tiebreak with NYI which OTT wins)
OTT goes 0-2-0: #6 NYR, #7 NYI, #8 OTT

Only if OTT goes 2-0-0, OTT will become #5 seed and TOR drops to #6 (OTT goes 1-0-1, TOR wins ROW tiebreak)
 
2013-04-27 06:57:29 PM  

mikaloyd: Since we lost Ontario bring back MIguy for the duration of Detroit's humiliation


Thank you.  Given your track record for the past few times you've predicted Detroit losing, that seals our playoff spot. :D
 
2013-04-27 06:58:17 PM  
Let's go Jackets!
 
2013-04-27 06:58:57 PM  
I still farked it up... give me a break, I'm drunk.

Updated Eastern Conference scenarios (with corrections for errors):

Eastern Conference

The following teams are locked into their positions:

1- Pittsburgh
3- Washington

Northeast Division Title and #2 seed

Boston- 61 pts, 25 ROWs, 2 games remaining: @WSH, vs OTT
Montreal- 61 pts, 25 ROWs, 1 game remaining: @TOR

Scenarios:

If Montreal wins in regulation or OT @TOR Saturday night:
Boston wins the division by going no worse than 1-0-1
Montreal wins if BOS goes 1-1-0 or worse (Montreal owns the 2nd tiebreaker of head-to-head results, BOS win coming in a SO would give ROW tiebreak to MTL)

If MTL wins in a shootout:
Boston wins the division by going 1-1-0 with the win coming in regulation or OT (ROW tiebreaker win) or better
Montreal wins if BOS goes 0-0-2 or worse or 1-1-0 with the win coming in a shootout (head-to-head tiebreak win)

If MTL loses in OT or SO
BOS wins by going 1-1-0 or 0-0-2 or better
MTL wins if BOS goes 0-1-1 (head-to-head tiebreak) or worse

If MTL loses in regulation
BOS requires minimum 1 OT game to win division (regardless of result)
MTL wins only if BOS goes 0-2-0

Loser in each scenario becomes #4 seed

Seeds 5, 6, 7 and 8

Standings as of Saturday, 3:30pm EDT

5) Toronto: 56 pts, 26 ROW, 1 game remaining: @MTL
6) NY Rangers: 54 pts, 21 ROWs, 0 games remaining 
7) NY Islanders: 55 pts, 20 ROWs, 0 games remaining
8) Ottawa: 54 pts, 20 ROWs, 2 games remaining: vs PHI, @BOS

Mini table for the scenarios:

If NYR wins in regulation or OT:
OTT goes 1-0-1 or better: #6 seed OTT, #7 NYR, #8 NYI
OTT goes 1-1-0, 0-0-2 or 0-1-1: #6 NYR, #7 OTT, #8 NYI (OTT 0-1-1 would lead to head-to-head tiebreak with NYI which OTT wins)
OTT goes 0-2-0: #6 NYR, #7 NYI, #8 OTT

Only if OTT goes 2-0-0, OTT will become #5 seed and TOR drops to #6 (OTT goes 1-0-1, TOR wins ROW tiebreak)
 
2013-04-27 07:01:59 PM  

desertgeek: I still farked it up... give me a break, I'm drunk.


A Liverpool fan and a hockey fan?  I knew I had you favorited for a reason
 
2013-04-27 07:02:01 PM  

IMDWalrus: mikaloyd: Since we lost Ontario bring back MIguy for the duration of Detroit's humiliation

Thank you.  Given your track record for the past few times you've predicted Detroit losing, that seals our playoff spot. :D


I will hate them into the playoffs probably
 
2013-04-27 07:11:15 PM  
Game on.
 
2013-04-27 07:11:49 PM  

dietbubba: desertgeek: I still farked it up... give me a break, I'm drunk.

A Liverpool fan and a hockey fan?  I knew I had you favorited for a reason


GOD. DAMN. farkING. LIVERPOOL. Sigh. We're getting relegated, aren't we? Fraking disappointing Mapgies.
 
2013-04-27 07:12:30 PM  
Nice montage by CBC.  I notice The Heavy are getting a lot of play lately, good for them.
 
2013-04-27 07:21:04 PM  

JosephFinn: dietbubba: desertgeek: I still farked it up... give me a break, I'm drunk.

A Liverpool fan and a hockey fan?  I knew I had you favorited for a reason

GOD. DAMN. farkING. LIVERPOOL. Sigh. We're getting relegated, aren't we? Fraking disappointing Mapgies.


Hope not.  I like Newcastle.
 
2013-04-27 07:23:11 PM  
Dear Hockey Gods,

Since the Minnesota Wild can't be counted on to win a farking game this month, please allow Nashville to destroy Columbus tonight.

That is all.
 
2013-04-27 07:25:07 PM  

rustybender: Dear Hockey Gods,

Since the Minnesota Wild can't be counted on to win a farking game this month, please allow Nashville to destroy Columbus tonight.

That is all.


8 shots to 1 in favor of Nashville.  They scored earlier but it was waved off because they kicked it in.
 
2013-04-27 07:25:11 PM  

rustybender: Dear Hockey Gods,

Since the Minnesota Wild can't be counted on to win a farking game this month, please allow Nashville to destroy Columbus tonight.

That is all.


Well, the Preds did just have a goal disallowed due to a kicking motion.
 
2013-04-27 07:27:27 PM  
Screw Nashville

/go Lumbus!
 
2013-04-27 07:28:24 PM  

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
"Phoenix should not be in the NHL!! All southern teams should fold and move to Canada!!"

willvideoforfood.com
"Who's that?"

southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
"Oh, that's ontariolightning. He's a dick."
 
2013-04-27 07:28:53 PM  

dietbubba: JosephFinn: dietbubba: desertgeek: I still farked it up... give me a break, I'm drunk.

A Liverpool fan and a hockey fan?  I knew I had you favorited for a reason

GOD. DAMN. farkING. LIVERPOOL. Sigh. We're getting relegated, aren't we? Fraking disappointing Mapgies.

Hope not.  I like Newcastle.


Seconded.
 
2013-04-27 07:31:51 PM  

Flappyhead: UPDATED


29) Bobrovosky is the Number One Cop On The Force
 
2013-04-27 07:33:55 PM  

L Ron Hubbard's Last Fart: Flappyhead: UPDATED

29) Bobrovosky is the Number One Cop On The Force


Is he the kind of cop where the chief/captain is always yelling "Bobrovsky!!!"
 
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