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(Monster Digest)   Five things to remember if you encounter a Bigfoot   (drvhitz.com) divider line 25
    More: PSA, Bigfoot  
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1440 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 27 Apr 2013 at 3:41 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-27 11:37:20 AM
#6:  Put the pipe down, you have smoked some shiat that is making you see things which are not there.
 
2013-04-27 12:02:40 PM

Ennuipoet: #6:  Put the pipe down, you have smoked some shiat that is making you see things which are not there.


There isn't a whole lot you can smoke to accomplish that. Salvia and DMT spring to mind, but little else.
 
2013-04-27 12:08:05 PM

nekom: There isn't a whole lot you can smoke to accomplish that. Salvia and DMT spring to mind, but little else.


I was thinking Dippers, though smoke enough good weed and reality can go a bit wonky even if you don't have a full blown hallucination.
 
2013-04-27 12:14:38 PM

Ennuipoet: nekom: There isn't a whole lot you can smoke to accomplish that. Salvia and DMT spring to mind, but little else.

I was thinking Dippers, though smoke enough good weed and reality can go a bit wonky even if you don't have a full blown hallucination.


Only thing I know about PCP is that episode of COPS with the naked black guy. Never heard of it as a street drug in these parts, probably even in my irresponsible teenage years I would have passed on it if I ever did.
 
2013-04-27 12:47:06 PM
Be shor yur buddy in the suit gets plenty ov water
 
2013-04-27 12:54:37 PM
uh.. why did this go?
 
2013-04-27 12:57:48 PM
#7:You could be in a beef jerky commercial. Prepare to be comically thrown some distance away
 
2013-04-27 01:06:41 PM
#8. Don't point and laugh at his penis. Trust me on this.
 
2013-04-27 01:13:17 PM
#9 Ask it for weed.  There's a good chance that it's actually Tommy Chong.
 
2013-04-27 02:01:34 PM
#10 Don't open the taxidermy closet to retrieve your camera.
 
2013-04-27 02:15:04 PM
#11: Hide him from Lafleur.
 
2013-04-27 02:15:40 PM
#11 Stare him down. Wild primates absolutely LOVE to be stared at.
 
2013-04-27 02:52:10 PM

Ennuipoet: #6:  Put the pipe down, you have smoked some shiat that is making you see things which are not there.


#6 - there is no such thing as bigfoot. call the men with the white coats to lock you up
 
2013-04-27 02:58:52 PM

nekom: Salvia and DMT spring to mind, but little else.


DMT is no joke. You can squeeze 12 hours into 15 minutes.
 
2013-04-27 04:09:36 PM
I've been in bars in WV, just be sure her glass is full, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, slip out the back door.
 
2013-04-27 04:37:48 PM
BigFoot is fo REALS YO!

I've seen 'em
 
2013-04-27 04:38:33 PM
6. Your wife's a Bigfoot, isn't she, Gus? Your wife is a Bigfoot, isn't she? That's why the biatch's moustache is so motherfarkin thick... cause you shaved the biatch   down and taught her to speak. I know a motherfarkin Bigfoot when I   see one! Don't bring a Bigfoot into my home, Gus! With my children?   The biatch can't talk! She can't walk a flight of steps! She's not   trained well, Gus! She can *not* walk steps! Ill bet she climbs   the fark outta trees, though, don't she, Gus? Doesn't she? DOESNT   SHE? But you got to not bring her around here - fark her! And your   motherfarkin children? They're Bigfeet, too. They're half-Bigfoot, Gus, cause the motherfarkers is 6 years old and have Afros 17   inches long. They're little hairy motherfarkers, just like their   mother. Look at the motherfarkers!

You know how I found out they   was Bigfoot - when I realized your wife was a Bigfoot when I took   your kids fishing last week. I put the motherfarkers in the boat, Gus, and I took the worm and I put it on the hooks. And they both   sat there, and they put their poles down in the motherfarkin boat, and slammed their faces in the water for 2 minutes! And I think,   "What the fark are these kids doin?" Then they start moving their   heads like this [quickly shakes head back and forth] Eddie Murphy: and the motherfarkers come up with fish! I jumped back   and said, "Can you believe this motherfarkin shiat?" Then the kid   took the fish out his mouth and looked at his brother and said,   "Goonie-Goo-Goo." What the fark is going on here? Normal kids don't   do shiat like that, Gus.

But I'm gonna tell you something, motherfarker. You can take your motherfarkin hairy fat-ass wife   moustache biatch out the fark, you can go upstairs and get the   motherfarkin dog and scoop up the shiat and take Eddie and get   these mothafarkin long Angela Davis afro-wearing motherfarkin   kids of yours and put them in the motherfarking   "Goonie-Goo-Goo"-mobile and get the fark out! And if my wife don't   like that, she can get the fark out, too!

[Eddie mimes his shoe-throwing noise] Eddie Murphy: You missed me, biatch!
 
2013-04-27 05:40:55 PM
I was hiking up in the Ocala National Forest a few months ago and I saw something weird. We were walking down a dirt forestry service road and I saw some big bare footprints in the loose sand on the side of the road. They were about a size 12 or bigger. The road we were hiking on was lined with very heavy brush and palmettos on both sides. They came right out of the bushes on one side and disappeared into the bushes on the other side. There was no trail crossing here. My uncle is a very well educated country gentleman who has spent more time alone in the woods than I've spent breathing. He says it was probably bigfoot tracks. Since the local Rainbow Gathering had just ended a few weeks earlier I'm still holding out that it was a lost hippy tripping balls.
CSB
 
2013-04-27 07:18:09 PM
They prefer to be called "Pedally enhanced Americans" now?
 
2013-04-27 07:41:23 PM
Ask him if he knows Mikayla Miles?
farm5.static.flickr.com
 
2013-04-27 08:06:38 PM

i upped my meds-up yours: Ask him if he knows Mikayla Miles?
[farm5.static.flickr.com image 500x375]


Is that like the foot fetish porn Peggy Hill got tricked into doing?
 
2013-04-27 10:30:27 PM
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot IS blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here!"

- Mitch Hedberg
 
2013-04-28 12:10:00 AM
In the end they kill him. But he teaches us things.
 
2013-04-28 09:48:19 AM
That was a kick ass "In Search Of..."
 
2013-04-28 02:02:49 PM
1.  Be sure your camera is slightly out of focus.
2.  Move the camera around in a jerky motion.
3.  Occasionally zoom out to a very wide shot where the bigfoot is hardly visible at all.
4.  If the bigfoot appears to be coming closer, or about to do something interesting, quickly pan the camera to look at something else like a tree or a rock.
5.  Talk constantly.

At least, I assume that's the rules for this kind of thing considering the state of most video's of bigfoots and other mystery creatures.
 
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