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(Examiner)   Fifth-grade student suspended for taking tiny Swiss Army Knife on school camping trip   (examiner.com) divider line 119
    More: Asinine, Swiss Army, student suspended, camping, elementary schools, knife, students  
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5441 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Apr 2013 at 10:38 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-27 08:27:43 AM
Fake.

It's too perfectly outrageable.
 
2013-04-27 09:05:25 AM
The important question is, did he pass the safety quiz?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-27 10:15:05 AM

Donnchadha: Fake.

It's too perfectly outrageable.


It does seem to be the perfect storm of stupid decisions by the school/administration (no knife even on a camping trip, calling it a weapon, insisting the father come pick him up even though he's on a business trip hundreds of miles away EVEN THOUGH the mom is on the camping trip with the child, making them bring the boy back to camp after the one day suspension, not waiting until they return home to have the punishment implemented, etc, etc,etc).  I think that the father needs to file suit against the school district with the only acceptable solution is that the idiot who was in charge of the camping trip is fired & not allowed near any education related/child related job for life.

I'd like to say that nobody could be that stupid/oblivious to common sense but sadly we see examples of similar things every day here in the headlines.
 
2013-04-27 10:31:38 AM

Recoil Therapy: we see examples of similar things every day here in the headlines


These are the same people that would drive off a cliff if the lines on the highway ran in that direction.  Nearly too stupid to live, but not quite.
 
2013-04-27 10:41:04 AM
The comments so far are laughable; Reminds me of

images.sodahead.com

F*cking calm down already. It's Saturday. Take a day off, lay off the caffiene for awhile. Go outside.
 
2013-04-27 10:41:30 AM
This thread is already turning into prime Mall Ninja watching.

Lets see how far it goes

/offers to share popcorn.
 
2013-04-27 10:45:31 AM
Or you could just hand the knife to his mom and ask her to hold on to it for the rest of the trip if you are that concerned.
 
2013-04-27 10:48:01 AM
Boyscout was prepared, too prepared.  He wasn't prepared for what followed.

Let the kid go, TSA allow these things now and those guys don't allow anything.
 
2013-04-27 10:48:05 AM
Don't do what Donny Don't does.
 
2013-04-27 10:48:23 AM
C'mon isn't a Swiss Army Knife standard issue camping gear?
 
2013-04-27 10:48:42 AM
That's not a knife. This is a KNIFE!

joshlinkner.com
 
2013-04-27 10:49:37 AM
Does the Swiss army actually use Swiss army knives?
 
2013-04-27 10:50:52 AM
That's not a knife....
www.gaj-it.com
This is ... pretty much useless, actually...
 
2013-04-27 10:52:36 AM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: That's not a knife. This is a KNIFE!

[joshlinkner.com image 500x369]


That looks like a great way to take care of an unauthorized finger.  Especially that... what is that?  The thing just north of the allen wrench stapler thingy on the bottom.
 
2013-04-27 10:53:07 AM
Two minutes. Damn you, UNAUTHORIZED FINGER....
 
2013-04-27 10:53:51 AM

WippitGuud: Does the Swiss army actually use Swiss army knives?


They do, but they call them American army knives.

/not an expert on the subject
 
2013-04-27 10:55:39 AM
When I was teaching middle school choir, a student had found a little 1 1/2" pocket knife that he'd had in his jeans over the weekend. It was first period, not 5 minutes after the bell rang. Since some of the other kids saw it, I had to send him to the office.  He was expelled because of zero tolerance rules. If the other kids hadn't seen it, I would've just taken it and that would be the end of it. He was derpy but a good kid all the same.
 
2013-04-27 10:55:50 AM
Bringing a swiss army knife on a camping trip?  What a farking moran.  Everyone knows that you only bring wine with a twist off cap when you go camping!
 
2013-04-27 10:56:02 AM
I'm imagining a scenario where everyone on the trip dies in a incident that could have totally been prevented if only they had a swiss army knife.
 
2013-04-27 10:56:26 AM

Marcus Aurelius: Recoil Therapy: we see examples of similar things every day here in the headlines

These are the same people that would drive off a cliff if the lines on the highway ran in that direction.  Nearly too stupid to live, but not quite.


Well they are government employees, unionized government employees.
 
2013-04-27 10:56:52 AM

Not_The_Target_Market: Two minutes. Damn you, UNAUTHORIZED FINGER....


Yeah, but you get credit for showing the reverse angle. :)

Sugarbombs: Especially that... what is that? The thing just north of the allen wrench stapler thingy on the bottom.


I believe it's a cyclotron. For all your particle accelerating needs.
 
2013-04-27 10:57:33 AM

Kimpak: C'mon isn't a Swiss Army Knife standard issue camping gear?


No.  It is standard military killing gear.
 
2013-04-27 10:57:46 AM
Farking Swiss - are you German, Italian, French or what? Make up your mind.
And why do you have a navy?
 
2013-04-27 10:58:06 AM
I say good on the administration.  Swiss Army Knives have absolutely no place on camping trips whatsoever.  This kid was plotting something.  Mark my words.
 
2013-04-27 10:58:58 AM

Not_The_Target_Market: That's not a knife....
[www.gaj-it.com image 390x250]
This is ... pretty much useless, actually...


Your post shows that you picked your FARK handle perfectly. Well done.
 
2013-04-27 10:59:17 AM

Sugarbombs: WippitGuud: Does the Swiss army actually use Swiss army knives?

They do, but they call them American army knives.



FTFY.
 
2013-04-27 11:05:25 AM
I think the funniest part of the gigantic swiss army knives are the compasses
 
2013-04-27 11:06:28 AM
As a kid I cannot remember not having a pocket knife, even at school from about the 4th grade on. Of course now they have better stuff:


images.otto.de
 
2013-04-27 11:06:30 AM
Victorinox or Wenger? Whiich is best Swiss Army knife?
 
2013-04-27 11:07:43 AM

Keep your Swiss Army Knife. I'll stick with this.


steeladdictionknives.com
Worth every penny.
 
2013-04-27 11:09:30 AM

mikaloyd: Victorinox or Wenger? Whiich is best Swiss Army knife?


Victorinox acquired Wenger in 2005. I've only owned a Victorinox, so I dunno.
 
2013-04-27 11:10:07 AM

GungFu: Sugarbombs: WippitGuud: Does the Swiss army actually use Swiss army knives?

They do, but they call them American army knives.


FTFY.


I'll take your word for it.  That does sound convincingly neutral.
 
2013-04-27 11:10:10 AM
Hey, guess what??  Don't bring anything remotely like a weapon to any school related thing ever.  Problem solved.

/dumbasses
//also, never shake the baby, even if you really want to
 
2013-04-27 11:17:36 AM

Recoil Therapy: It does seem to be the perfect storm of stupid decisions by the school/administration...


Or small minded and souled bureaucrats exercising every iota of latitude granted to them for personal aggrandization. Occam's Razor to the rescue.
 
2013-04-27 11:18:25 AM

Sugarbombs: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: That's not a knife. This is a KNIFE!

[joshlinkner.com image 500x369]

That looks like a great way to take care of an unauthorized finger.  Especially that... what is that?  The thing just north of the allen wrench stapler thingy on the bottom.


Your question made me curious too. I checked the manufacturer's site and near as I can tell it's a cigar cutter.

Here's the page with the description.

It costs $2000, but it has a laser pointer!
 
2013-04-27 11:19:21 AM

WippitGuud: Does the Swiss army actually use Swiss army knives?


Yes, but not the red one you see all the time. They're issued the "Soldatenmesser 08" ("Soldier Knife 08", referring to it being created in 2008).

/lives in Switzerland
 
2013-04-27 11:20:51 AM

indarwinsshadow: The comments so far are laughable; Reminds me of



F*cking calm down already. It's Saturday. Take a day off, lay off the caffiene for awhile. Go outside.


But what am I supposed to do whie I poop?
/really?
//not really
///really.
 
2013-04-27 11:20:53 AM

GungFu: Farking Swiss - are you German, Italian, French or what? Make up your mind.
And why do you have a navy?


A big Farking lake! That's why!
 
2013-04-27 11:23:15 AM
I'm not sure how kids are expected to grow up and make reasonable decisions in their lives when they're surrounded all day long by asshats who couldn't reason their way out of a wet paper bag.
We expect too much from kids when we constantly expose them to this kind of nonsense and then tell them to go forth and become reasonable people.
 
2013-04-27 11:24:38 AM

Whatthefark: Sugarbombs: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: That's not a knife. This is a KNIFE!

[joshlinkner.com image 500x369]

That looks like a great way to take care of an unauthorized finger.  Especially that... what is that?  The thing just north of the allen wrench stapler thingy on the bottom.

Your question made me curious too. I checked the manufacturer's site and near as I can tell it's a cigar cutter.

Here's the page with the description.

It costs $2000, but it has a laser pointer!


It's a knife designed by Microsoft.
 
2013-04-27 11:24:46 AM

hasty ambush: As a kid I cannot remember not having a pocket knife, even at school from about the 4th grade on. Of course now they have better stuff:


[images.otto.de image 850x850]


Seriously. I've had a Leatherman PST-II since I was 18 (I'm 30 now). When I got married in 2010 I gave each of my groomsmen a Leatherman Wave (plus one for me, naturally).

I have a tiny Swiss Army Knife on my keychain but almost never use it because I always have the Leatherman. The only exceptions, of course, are when going to secure areas (courtrooms, airports, etc.).
 
2013-04-27 11:30:37 AM
Was this California or Colorado. Either way Colorado is going down hill and California went down hill years ago. Way to go Zero Tolerance. Hope the principal gets eaten by a bear.
 
2013-04-27 11:31:47 AM
Goddamn ridiculous.
 
2013-04-27 11:38:41 AM

Donnchadha: Fake.

It's too perfectly outrageable.


Possibly, but a search of Ze Googles reveals the principal's name as Brandi Hucko. A quick perusal of ratemyteachers.com shows a slew of 1 star ratings and negative comments. Just a few from the first page:

 Irrational, knee-jerk reacting bureaucrat. Disgrace to the school system.
 Do NOT allow this person anywhere near your child. ... tendency to lock children up in small rooms and abuse them.
 Lousy teacher - should be fired for bullying students

Of course all these were posted after the incident. But even looking back before that the most common comment is that she a very mean person.
 
2013-04-27 11:39:34 AM
Camping without a knife is foolish. If the school officials are so worried about the students attacking each other then they shouldn't bring them to a place full of pointed sticks and big farking rocks.
 
2013-04-27 11:42:54 AM
The kid should be suspended for having a knife, that is entirely appropriate.

Having the father pick him up RIGHT NOW, not so much.  And if it were me I wouldn't take him back after a day, either.
 
2013-04-27 11:45:40 AM
This is quite a conundrum indeed. On one hand I can see the outrage of the overreaction by the school, but on the other hand, I feel any pasty faced kid with a name like "Branden" should be suspended  andcock punched.
 
2013-04-27 11:46:15 AM

Sugarbombs: WippitGuud: Does the Swiss army actually use Swiss army knives?

They do, but they call them American army knives.

/not an expert on the subject


That's not an American Army Knife. . .

www.militarysworddisplays.com

THAT's an American Army Knife
 
2013-04-27 11:46:30 AM
Before I get too outraged I'm interested if they told everyone 15 times "NO KNIVES, YOU WILL BE SUSPENDED" first.
 
2013-04-27 11:47:24 AM

Dee Snarl: Hey, guess what??  Don't bring anything remotely like a weapon to any school related thing ever.  Problem solved.

/dumbasses
//also, never shake the baby, even if you really want to


I can't understand how people who think unionized teachers are stupid also want them to make decisions about which knife is OK for a student to bring to school.
 
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