Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Belief in God can treat depression, plagues of locusts   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 40
    More: Interesting, god, psychiatric treatment, mental disorders, Columbia University in New York, San Francisco General Hospital, McLean Hospital, McLean Hospital in Belmont, prayers  
•       •       •

2565 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2013 at 2:47 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-26 03:41:45 PM  
4 votes:
A KKK, conservative, US marine, creationist, pro-life Westboro-Baptist-Church goer and homophobic gun shop-owner professor was teaching a class on Theology.
"Before the class begins, you must put your hands together and pray to Jesus Christ, and accept that you are sinners and that he is your lord and savior"
At this moment, an enlightened, euphoric, and intelligent atheist, who never had a girlfriend because he was such a nice guy, and had spent some time making quotes and was immersed in the teachings of Darwin stood up, and took off his walmart fedora that his mom got him for his birthday..
"How old is this fedora?"
The narrow-minded professor sneered in a rather republican manner and cockily replied "5000 years, you bigoted atheist"
"Wrong. It's 4.6 billion years old. Last night I was doing weed since it was so healthy and stuff and cures cancer, and while I was high, I realized that God didn't exist and the Bible was a lie"
The professor was visibly shaken and dropped his copy of the King James Bible. He stormed out of the room sobbing uncontrollably, partly because of him being proven wrong, partly because a priest molested him as a kid and those memories were resurfacing, and partly because the atheist was so damn awesome looking in his fedora that he might now be gay.
The student's applauded and all registered democrat that day and renounced all phony religions. A cat named "Mao Tse-tsung" ran into the room and sat on a copy of Darwin's Origin of The Species and shed a tear. Several biology text-books were read, and Neil Degrasse Tyson showed up and was elected president.
The professor later quit to spend more time at his favorite gun range, where his gun accidently shot backwards and killed him because guns are dangerous.
2013-04-26 03:18:48 PM  
4 votes:
NostroZ:
I find that a PERSONAL belief in a higher being alleviates the insecurities that come from thoughts about death and our overall lonesome purposeless existence.


Speak for yourself.  My existence is neither purposeless nor lonesome, and I am not at all insecure about the thought of dying.  It's going to happen, and in 10,000 years, this will all be just another fossil layer.  I won't care, I won't know, because I'll be dead.

I'd bet that nearly all of the "insecurity that comes from thoughts about death" stems from a belief that consciousness actually survives, and things will be unpleasant.  I don't think that consciousness survives death, so the fact that I will someday be dead doesn't bother me. I won't realize it.


Hmmmm... I wonder why people ALL OVER THE WORLD have religions...  I wonder if there's something GOOD to it.

People all over the world have herpes and stinky armpits too. That's not necessarily a good recommendation for something.
2013-04-26 03:34:44 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.com

I'm just going to stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.
2013-04-26 02:49:56 PM  
3 votes:
derecjones.com

I'll stick with marijuana, thank you.
2013-04-26 04:51:06 PM  
2 votes:

NostroZ: It was a reaction to insulting religion as superstition.


Is it insulting to a salmon to be called a fish?
2013-04-26 04:47:49 PM  
2 votes:

NostroZ: You have proven yourself to be a person of wrath.
Since I know you do not believe in the 7 deadly sins or that you should restrain your hatred, I'll spare you the lecture.

Please do not converse with me further, as you are a hateful person, who when asked to be more polite makes it a point to be extra rude.

My life is too short to argue with people who have ill will towards me and no intention of listening.
Good day sir, you are now on my block list.


Did you say that in a Gene Wilder voice? Because I only respond to "Good day sir" when it's in a Gene Wilder voice.

Since this means I can get the last word in, it amuses me to see you fall back on standard operating procedure for apologists when they get backed into their own corners called on their bullshiat and bail. So you ARE here just to argue rather than educate, and since you acknowledge you can't win this argument, you are running away.

Am I allowed to award myself Internet points? No, I'm not going to ask that, I'm just going to do it. +1 to me, which nets me a lifetime total of points equalling a staggering cosine of yellowjacket plasma.
2013-04-26 04:29:06 PM  
2 votes:
Belief that I'm currently getting blown by Scarlet Johansson would have a similar positive effect. So if a delusion is going to make me feel better, I'll go with that one.
2013-04-26 03:38:04 PM  
2 votes:

NostroZ: StaleCoffee: NostroZ: Ego edo infantia cattus: [derecjones.com image 280x390]

I'll stick with marijuana, thank you.

This is FARK, don't you know religion is the cause of all that's evil in humanity.

Who is this heretic of a submitter???  Burn the non-believer!

Since the article specifically states it doesn't matter what religion, it's a fair assumption that just believing things will be better and someone is looking out for you is the motivating force here, not religion.

"And more than 30 per cent of patients claiming no specific religious affiliation still saw the same benefits in treatment if their belief in God was rated as moderately or very high."

I guess religion still sucks.

Huh?  Wait... This is like saying, people who are good at Math were happier in life and could get through tougher situations.  So math is good... but organized math... where it is taught... a school... that still sucks?

You say the teachings are good, but school is awful?
Maybe you just need a different school there buddy... just because you're school sucks at teaching you math, don't mean mine did.


No, it's like being told any answer you come up with is cool, so you can feel good about assuming the cosine of yellowjackets is plasma.
2013-04-26 03:10:12 PM  
2 votes:

uncleacid: The guy let his son be nailed to a cross. That always makes me feel better.


Well, especially when  your God carries a hammer.
2013-04-26 03:04:09 PM  
2 votes:
The guy let his son be nailed to a cross. That always makes me feel better.
2013-04-26 02:58:35 PM  
2 votes:
Worship cats instead. That way when calamity strikes you just hit 'em with a squirt from the old water bottle and cosmic balance is restored.
2013-04-26 02:58:15 PM  
2 votes:

rnatalie: Opiate of the masses.

Trade one psychological affliction for another.


Not so much as an opiate, more of a counterirritant.
2013-04-26 02:54:21 PM  
2 votes:
Flying Spaghetti Monster fills me with joy and carbohydrates.
2013-04-26 02:26:09 PM  
2 votes:
Ignorance is bliss.
2013-04-26 06:30:04 PM  
1 votes:

OnlyM3: Belief in God can
... cause farkers to whine at no end.


Quite obviously, but you're welcome here anyway.
2013-04-26 05:48:31 PM  
1 votes:

jso2897: johnny queso: NostroZ: Inflatable Rhetoric: Religion does more harm than good, and always has. Adults need to think like adults, not believe in magic sky fairies. How does belief in god(s) differ from belief in the Tooth Fairy?

As for being rude, how is that to be avoided when a grown human yammers on about imaginary friends? And, I don't have to disprove god unless you can disprove the Tooth Fairy.

This is the last time, since I don't have to prove anything to you...  as a favor to a fellow human, I will take time out of my day to explain to you why religion is NOT the same as the Tooth Fairy.  If you still want to continue this "everyone is stupid, except me" line of discourse, I will have to place you on the ignore list.

Religion is a set of beliefs about the way the world works, morality, and overall universe.  It provides a compass on how to live one's ENTIRE LIFE.  The Tooth Fairy is a single event make belief character.

A belief in religion is not a belief in an imaginary friend... Buddhism does not have ANY view of a being that watches over us and judges us.  For you to simplify it to such a ridiculous notion shows your disdain for people of faith.

I hope this helps.
(Or you just trolled me... congrats)

why do you need religion as a compass?

Well, it wouldn't be much good as a sextant.


dude, they have gps now, god-based positioning system.
2013-04-26 05:46:44 PM  
1 votes:

johnny queso: NostroZ: Inflatable Rhetoric: Religion does more harm than good, and always has. Adults need to think like adults, not believe in magic sky fairies. How does belief in god(s) differ from belief in the Tooth Fairy?

As for being rude, how is that to be avoided when a grown human yammers on about imaginary friends? And, I don't have to disprove god unless you can disprove the Tooth Fairy.

This is the last time, since I don't have to prove anything to you...  as a favor to a fellow human, I will take time out of my day to explain to you why religion is NOT the same as the Tooth Fairy.  If you still want to continue this "everyone is stupid, except me" line of discourse, I will have to place you on the ignore list.

Religion is a set of beliefs about the way the world works, morality, and overall universe.  It provides a compass on how to live one's ENTIRE LIFE.  The Tooth Fairy is a single event make belief character.

A belief in religion is not a belief in an imaginary friend... Buddhism does not have ANY view of a being that watches over us and judges us.  For you to simplify it to such a ridiculous notion shows your disdain for people of faith.

I hope this helps.
(Or you just trolled me... congrats)

why do you need religion as a compass?


Well, it wouldn't be much good as a sextant.
2013-04-26 05:43:42 PM  
1 votes:

NostroZ: Farking Canuck: NostroZ: It was a reaction to insulting religion as superstition.

Is it insulting to a salmon to be called a fish?

Yes, you Canuck.
I thought you had more manners than that in Canada.

A fish does not have feelings...

i18.photobucket.com
So it's ok to eat them?

2013-04-26 05:31:11 PM  
1 votes:

NostroZ: have better things to do than have some angry kid who just learned that Santa is not real


Way to spoil it for the believers, asshat.
2013-04-26 05:18:56 PM  
1 votes:

FloydA: NostroZ:
I find that a PERSONAL belief in a higher being alleviates the insecurities that come from thoughts about death and our overall lonesome purposeless existence.


Speak for yourself.  My existence is neither purposeless nor lonesome, and I am not at all insecure about the thought of dying.  It's going to happen, and in 10,000 years, this will all be just another fossil layer.  I won't care, I won't know, because I'll be dead.

I'd bet that nearly all of the "insecurity that comes from thoughts about death" stems from a belief that consciousness actually survives, and things will be unpleasant.  I don't think that consciousness survives death, so the fact that I will someday be dead doesn't bother me. I won't realize it.


Hmmmm... I wonder why people ALL OVER THE WORLD have religions...  I wonder if there's something GOOD to it.

People all over the world have herpes and stinky armpits too. That's not necessarily a good recommendation for something.


Doubtful I could have knocked down the bandwagon fallacy better myself.
2013-04-26 05:10:58 PM  
1 votes:

Inflatable Rhetoric: NostroZ: Inflatable Rhetoric: It's rude and you cannot prove that G-d does NOT exist, but go ahead and insult people left and right.

Ooooh, was I rude? How would I not be rude? Pretend to believe? I could enter just white space in comments, would that be ok with you? What about your condescending reference to the online dictionary? Was that polite?

I did not mean to condescend, though I'm sure it came off as such.  It was a reaction to insulting religion as superstition.  I did not take your confusion between the two terms as sincere.  I apologize.

Hopefully, now that the two terms are right in front of you, you can see why calling a religion a superstition undercuts a lot of the positive characteristics of religion.

Religion does more harm than good, and always has.  Adults need to think like adults, not believe in magic sky fairies.  How does belief in god(s) differ from belief in the Tooth Fairy?

As for being rude, how is that to be avoided when a grown human yammers on about imaginary friends?  And, I don't have to disprove god unless you can disprove the Tooth Fairy.


You have made it completely known that you're the coolest guy around and that you are the second coming of Dawkins. Please enlighten us more, as my life would be more futile and bleak without you delivering the truth about invisible friends and fairy tales. I only hope that the blood does not rush from your most evolved brain due to the non-stop oral favors your massive dong must be receiving.
2013-04-26 04:59:10 PM  
1 votes:

jso2897: Farking Canuck: NostroZ: It was a reaction to insulting religion as superstition.

Is it insulting to a salmon to be called a fish?

He might be insulted if you told him he was full of carp.


Where is your cod now?!
2013-04-26 04:54:40 PM  
1 votes:

Farking Canuck: NostroZ: It was a reaction to insulting religion as superstition.

Is it insulting to a salmon to be called a fish?


He might be insulted if you told him he was full of carp.
2013-04-26 04:51:00 PM  
1 votes:

Inflatable Rhetoric: If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any religious people.

I've been waiting for someone to tell me the difference between religion and superstition for a long time.


Religion = What I believe.

Superstition = What other people believe.
2013-04-26 04:42:19 PM  
1 votes:

NostroZ: Inflatable Rhetoric: Tell me the difference between religion and superstition, then.

Not too long ago, much more than 85% of the world thought the Earth was flat. Than didn't make it flat. Got it?

You know. This magic box in front of you can be used to access other things besides Fark.
Here let me help you:
Religion - a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

Superstition - a belief or notion, not based on reason or knowledge, in or of the ominous significance of a particular thing, circumstance, occurrence, proceeding, or the like.

As you can see.  Religion denotes a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs and has been used as a basis for civilization for thousands of years.  Superstition is a derogatory term for a belief in something ominous that is circumstantial and has none of the richness of religious ritual, observance, or universe creation.

To cut to the chase.  When you call a religion a superstition you are insulting all the followers as stupid, as stupid as people who fear opening an umbrella inside the house.  If you enjoy insulting 85% of the world population with your view, go ahead.

It's rude and you cannot prove that G-d does NOT exist, but go ahead and insult people left and right.


Ooooh, was I rude?  How would I not be rude?  Pretend to believe?  I could enter just white space in comments, would that be ok with you?  What about your condescending reference to the online dictionary?  Was that polite?
2013-04-26 04:41:34 PM  
1 votes:

BMFPitt: Belief that I'm currently getting blown by Scarlet Johansson would have a similar positive effect. So if a delusion is going to make me feel better, I'll go with that one.


Infidel! My sect believes that I am currently getting blown by Scarlet Johansson and she's going to finish me off with her boobs. Repent, heretic!
2013-04-26 04:35:05 PM  
1 votes:

Inchoate: Cytokine Storm: Man I want to believe in a deity, an afterlife, anything!  Most days I'm ok but sometimes late at night when trying to sleep, my stupid brain turns to thoughts of mortality followed by a sinking feeling of despair as I realize that before I know it, I'll be winked out of existence.  I'm actually jealous of religious people in that regard, the comfort it must bring the to know that there is something after, that it's not the end.  I'm not even that old, I've still got half my life left (hopefully), but I keep imagining myself in my twilight years clinging and fighting tooth and nail to stay alive one more day.

Oh well, I figure I'll eventually adapt and cope, my brain will just reach acceptance and all that.  Either that or maybe the dementia that runs in my family will make it so I don't even realize what's happening.

I have exactly the same problem. Panic attacks because of the waiting oblivion and such. Buddhist philosophy helps a little.

Religion, at its best, can govern evil impulses, inspire, and comfort. Religion... isn't always at its best. I don't think we'll ever really succeed in eradicating it -- the thought processes that predispose many people to it will remain -- so it's more productive to do our best at guiding the religious toward kindness and acceptance.


Why would you want to "eradicate" religion? Those damn Jello salads with the little marshmallows in them aren't THAT bad.
2013-04-26 04:33:43 PM  
1 votes:

cbathrob: NostroZ: Inflatable Rhetoric: Children are comforted by Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, and other things. They grow up, and learn it's all make-believe.
Adults need to do the same.
There is no difference between religion and superstition, except a lot of people make a lot of money off religion.

This is a common line I hear online, and it's very juvenile.
Religion =/= Santa Claus...  most religions do not train their children that their dogma is a lie (seriously, why do Americans lie to their kids about religion/Santa).

Religion can be used to make money and control people... but if you think there is NO DIFFERENCE between superstition and religion, you have a lot of growing up to do.  Also, I would hold back your opinions of how stupid you think people who believe in religion are.  They'll wonder where you came up with your "religion is for kids" theory, since 85% of the world is religious.

I wont tell you WHAT to believe if you don't tell me what NOT to believe.
Got it?

I know your comment isn't addressed to me, but, speaking as an atheist, what propose is fine by me.  If only other religious people had that attitude I wouldn't have a problem with it.  Foisting your beliefs, or lack thereof, on others is bullshiat.


If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any religious people.

I've been waiting for someone to tell me the difference between religion and superstition for a long time.
2013-04-26 04:19:18 PM  
1 votes:

NostroZ: jso2897: What you just described was one of the four noble truths.
But, that's ONLY THE BEGINNING of Buddhism... once you realize that life is suffering, how does one break that?

And from here, we have a whole religion that gives guidance on how to alleviate this truth of life.

That's fine with me. Folks can have a religion that's about full nudity, golf, and continual bathing if they want. I'm easy.

No, no, no!  You've missed the point here, friend.
You're placing the cart before the horse...  a religion that's only about nudity, golf, and continual bathing will not last for it does not address the human condition (which you brilliantly described - suffering).

The reason that Buddhism, Christianity, Zorastrianism, etc. are still around after thousands of years is precisely because they are a tool of good to the practitioner and provide much comfort in everyday life.


You have a problem with nudity, golf, and continual bathing? Bigot.
2013-04-26 04:08:25 PM  
1 votes:
Sorry I'm late.
2013-04-26 04:02:13 PM  
1 votes:

Katolu: vabeard: Katolu: cman: Religion does have its psychological pluses on people.

Belief that there is a reason to this chaotic thing called "life" comforts people.

That's reasonable. If religion gets a person through life and keeps them mostly sane, there's no real harm.

True.  My mother, a very rational woman, was also very strong in her faith.  Of course we are Episcopalians.

/free will and moral choice.

I'm atheist, but as long as a person doesn't harm others with their beliefs, so be it. Be it FSM, Buddha, or Jesus let them take solace.

/ Fark the Scientologista, they're scam artists.


Heh, Autocorrect made that funny.
2013-04-26 04:00:45 PM  
1 votes:

mark12A: Knowing that you're only a ripple in the sea of time is not very comforting. You rise up out of the background noise, you have shape and height for the briefest instant, than you sink back down into the background noise from which you came. That's all there is.


You simply surrender to the highest power, the Universe. It doesn't love you but it doesn't hate you either. It doesn't tell you what to do or judge you. Life is at best a balance between pain and pleasure. Dying is just breaking even, no more of either. Thinking you should somehow be immortal is hubris which most fluffy-wuffy religions say is bad. All things die and fade away, even gods.

We could someday be LIKE gods, if we study the universe and learn its real secrets. We'll never do this with our heads up our ass believing the superstitious scribbelings of long dead, syphilis infected shepherds.
2013-04-26 04:00:39 PM  
1 votes:

UrukHaiGuyz: vabeard: Katolu: cman: Religion does have its psychological pluses on people.

Belief that there is a reason to this chaotic thing called "life" comforts people.

That's reasonable. If religion gets a person through life and keeps them mostly sane, there's no real harm.

True.  My mother, a very rational woman, was also very strong in her faith.  Of course we are Episcopalians.

/free will and moral choice.

Word. If I was still a Christian, I'd be Episcopalian. The fun ritual and pomp of Catholicism without all the guilt!

/plus wine!
//stupid Baptists


If there are four Episcopalians gathered, there is always a FIFTH.
2013-04-26 03:49:51 PM  
1 votes:

NostroZ: StaleCoffee: You say the teachings are good, but school is awful?
Maybe you just need a different school there buddy... just because you're school sucks at teaching you math, don't mean mine did.

No, it's like being told any answer you come up with is cool, so you can feel good about assuming the cosine of yellowjackets is plasma.

Religion is a left brain activity.  It is intuitive and therefore is not subject to the same rules of 1+1=2, but still follows emotional rules.
What you're describing is a right brain logic chain, which, while useful, is only HALF of how us humans experience the world.


Nope. You don't get to do that. I'm responding to your math analogy. You can take your next busted ass analogy and sit on it until you address the first one. Unless you'd like to just admit it was stupid from the beginning and doesn't work, then I can strip down your left-brain thing there.
2013-04-26 03:29:36 PM  
1 votes:
Prayers Don't Help Heart Surgery Patients; Some Fare Worse When Prayed For

patients who knew that others were praying for them fared worse than those who did not receive such spiritual support, or who did but were not aware of it.

Isn't the heart the feeling organ LOL a conservative newspaper prints BS but Thou shalt not bear false witness
2013-04-26 03:19:21 PM  
1 votes:
Actually the sickening and outrageous shiat people do in the name of the christian god, yahweh, or allah depresses me more than cheers me up. How on Earth am I supposed to take comfort in belief in a deity, supposedly omnipotent, that won't even take the time to kill his own misguided followers before they kill people minding their own business?
2013-04-26 03:00:37 PM  
1 votes:
Well, yeah, NSS.  If I could displace all my problems on some "magic sky being" instead of realizing my life is created by my own actions and is my own to therefore correct to what I would like... I'd be a fark lot less depressed too.
2013-04-26 02:55:57 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com


Thanks for the tax free cash you idiots!
i.imgur.com
2013-04-26 02:54:36 PM  
1 votes:
Hey, whatever it takes for you to deal. Just don't be afraid to keep it to yourself.
2013-04-26 02:49:29 PM  
1 votes:
Did subby misspell "cause"?
 
Displayed 40 of 40 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report