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(ABC)   Best Man turns out not to be all that great   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 96
    More: Sad, stabbing  
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2013-04-26 01:38:30 PM

cwheelie: justanothersumguy: *shrugs*  I'm not saying their Hillbillies... but

their Hillbillies what? made you squeal like a pig?
their Hillbillies knew English grammar?
spit it out man!


  Ducks... HA! not even close....
 
2013-04-26 01:38:41 PM

Fuggin Bizzy: skullkrusher: Unfortunately idiots are a renewable resource

'zactly. That's why I converted my Corolla to burn idiots rather than gas.


heh
 
2013-04-26 01:39:40 PM
ready for a CSB?

Few years ago my buddy gets married, his bro is the 'best' man.  Bro is a sociopath.  Bro brings this chick from Venezuela to the wedding.  He sees her chatting with another guy...a rather large fella, Beefcake.

An hour or so into the reception, I'm standing in the line for the bar.  Beefcake is in front of me.  Beefcake is a good guy, I've known him for many years.

Bro walks up nonchalantly and headbutts Beefcake, splits his face open.  Blood spewing everywhere, chaos ensues.  Nobody knows quite what is going on.  The grandfather of the bride gets into it, trying to kill Bro.  The melee separates then comes back together, spills out into the hallway of the reception place.  Utter chaos.  Lots of crying as you can imagine.

Everyone scatters, like 200 ppl.  Reception was over.  Marriage lasted 6 months.  Bro has been forgiven but he's still a major douche.

/csb
 
2013-04-26 01:40:10 PM

skullkrusher: rkiller1: skullkrusher: rkiller1: jakeone: jehovahs witness protection: Two less idiots on the planet.

Two *fewer* idiots on the planet.

THIS (my pet peeve peave, to)

pet peave

Thanks, I stand connected.

you're meaning was still clear, for all intensive purposes


Which of course begs the question, what is petitio principii?
 
2013-04-26 01:42:12 PM

miss diminutive: Broyhill told people and members of his church that he was suffering from pancreatic cancer and asking for donations, according to Rev. Nancy Petty, pastor of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church. Police have said Broyhill's claim was false and he never suffered from cancer.

What a


fat douche.

No wonder he thought he could eat and stab his problems away.
 
2013-04-26 01:44:00 PM

apotheosis27: ready for a CSB?

Few years ago my buddy gets married, his bro is the 'best' man.  Bro is a sociopath.  Bro brings this chick from Venezuela to the wedding.  He sees her chatting with another guy...a rather large fella, Beefcake.

An hour or so into the reception, I'm standing in the line for the bar.  Beefcake is in front of me.  Beefcake is a good guy, I've known him for many years.

Bro walks up nonchalantly and headbutts Beefcake, splits his face open.  Blood spewing everywhere, chaos ensues.  Nobody knows quite what is going on.  The grandfather of the bride gets into it, trying to kill Bro.  The melee separates then comes back together, spills out into the hallway of the reception place.  Utter chaos.  Lots of crying as you can imagine.

Everyone scatters, like 200 ppl.  Reception was over.  Marriage lasted 6 months.  Bro has been forgiven but he's still a major douche.

/csb


I think we were at the same wedding.

I made off with 3lbs of samosas and cheese in the confusion.
 
2013-04-26 01:49:52 PM

SkorzenyNinja: meow said the dog: Listen here is the thing of this and that is we should do the looking at the two sides.  Obviously this is the individual upon which probably has the mental problems so we should not be so quick to say OM MAGOODNESS HE HAD THE MENS REA.Perhaps he did have this.  Perhaps he did not have this.  Is it to say he did have this then perhaps he will use the affirmative defense and perhaps he will not use the affirmative defense.  Does John Edwards know anything of this and has he been the person who was contacted?  What about the mistresses of he?  It makes me do the wondering if this man was not perhaps the paid individual by the Edwards' campaign for taking out this individual but also makes me do the wondering if this man was not that.

Regardless of this I think we can all reach the agreement on one point and that point is that the name Nation is the stupidest of names.

[what-the-fark-am-i-reading.jpg]

I agree with the last part though, who the fark names their kid "Nation"?


Someone fond of the movie "Birth of a Nation"?
 
2013-04-26 01:51:24 PM

Lady Indica: rkiller1: Her blog is unreadable: http://skybluestrategies.com/?page_id=115

So weird, but that actually made me feel WORSE for her, like...oh god she's dead and she can't even fix that monstrosity.


Perhaps her husband wrote it (or so we can hope)?
 
2013-04-26 01:51:38 PM

jakeone: jehovahs witness protection: Two less idiots on the planet.

Two *fewer* idiots on the planet.


Be nice - English isn't his first language.
 
2013-04-26 01:55:18 PM

skullkrusher: jeez, and I was pissed that my best man got an ugly stripper in our hotel room at my bachelor party


At least you got a stripper from your best man...  mine got tickets to a Cubs game that he and another friend ended up going to, because I was recovering the FRIGGIN HOSPITAL.  (Not best friend anymore)

So, be happy you have a memory of an ugly stripper you can now make fun of for the rest of your life.
 
2013-04-26 01:56:18 PM
This wouldn't have happened if she were armed with a gun.
 
2013-04-26 01:57:35 PM
Well what did that bride expect? What with wearing a wedding dress, all sexy white and pure, out in the open in front of decent god-fearing folk? Brought it on herself, she did.
 
2013-04-26 01:58:28 PM
The 'best' kind of 'best man' remembers to bring the ring, but can't remember a thing about the wedding, later.

/including why a bail bondsman was required, on your wedding night

//can't claim from personal experience, but 'close enough.'
 
2013-04-26 02:00:04 PM
He was not from Best Korea and not Kim Jong Un, so he therefore cannot be the Best Man.
 
2013-04-26 02:01:45 PM

apotheosis27: ready for a CSB?

Few years ago my buddy gets married, his bro is the 'best' man.  Bro is a sociopath.  Bro brings this chick from Venezuela to the wedding.  He sees her chatting with another guy...a rather large fella, Beefcake.

An hour or so into the reception, I'm standing in the line for the bar.  Beefcake is in front of me.  Beefcake is a good guy, I've known him for many years.

Bro walks up nonchalantly and headbutts Beefcake, splits his face open.  Blood spewing everywhere, chaos ensues.  Nobody knows quite what is going on.  The grandfather of the bride gets into it, trying to kill Bro.  The melee separates then comes back together, spills out into the hallway of the reception place.  Utter chaos.  Lots of crying as you can imagine.

Everyone scatters, like 200 ppl.  Reception was over.  Marriage lasted 6 months.  Bro has been forgiven but he's still a major douche.

/csb



Awesome. Tell me "Bro" saw some jail time?

It sounds farked up but I've always wanted something like this to happen to me. Just so I could have the chance to fark someone up without any consequences.
 
2013-04-26 02:04:01 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: SkorzenyNinja: meow said the dog: Listen here is the thing of this and that is we should do the looking at the two sides.  Obviously this is the individual upon which probably has the mental problems so we should not be so quick to say OM MAGOODNESS HE HAD THE MENS REA.Perhaps he did have this.  Perhaps he did not have this.  Is it to say he did have this then perhaps he will use the affirmative defense and perhaps he will not use the affirmative defense.  Does John Edwards know anything of this and has he been the person who was contacted?  What about the mistresses of he?  It makes me do the wondering if this man was not perhaps the paid individual by the Edwards' campaign for taking out this individual but also makes me do the wondering if this man was not that.

Regardless of this I think we can all reach the agreement on one point and that point is that the name Nation is the stupidest of names.

[what-the-fark-am-i-reading.jpg]

You are not new here.


Yeah, I apologize. I checked the profile after I replied. Kind of disconcerting that this rogue slipped through the cracks for me somehow. Guess I should probably work less and fark more.

/problem has been rectified in a farkied fashion
 
2013-04-26 02:04:12 PM
FTFA:
A North Carolina political strategist died from stab wounds after she and her husband were allegedly attacked in their home by their close friend and best man from their wedding.
Jonathan Broyhill, 31, is recovering from "self-inflicted wounds" and was charged with attempted murder after police say he attacked Jamie Hahn, 29, and wounded her husband, Nation, 27, in their Raleigh home Monday night.



i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-04-26 02:05:13 PM
Although this hasn't gotten any play in any of the articles (since the league is basically dead), but, Nation was the founder of a UFL Message Board website, and was eventually hired as the UFL's Director of social media.  Although never actually met him, had many message board discussions with him.   Bad enough for your wife to be murdered, but, then to lose what sounds like probably was one of his closest friends.
 
2013-04-26 02:05:15 PM

tarheel07: SkorzenyNinja: meow said the dog: Listen here is the thing of this and that is we should do the looking at the two sides.  Obviously this is the individual upon which probably has the mental problems so we should not be so quick to say OM MAGOODNESS HE HAD THE MENS REA.Perhaps he did have this.  Perhaps he did not have this.  Is it to say he did have this then perhaps he will use the affirmative defense and perhaps he will not use the affirmative defense.  Does John Edwards know anything of this and has he been the person who was contacted?  What about the mistresses of he?  It makes me do the wondering if this man was not perhaps the paid individual by the Edwards' campaign for taking out this individual but also makes me do the wondering if this man was not that.

Regardless of this I think we can all reach the agreement on one point and that point is that the name Nation is the stupidest of names.

[what-the-fark-am-i-reading.jpg]

I agree with the last part though, who the fark names their kid "Nation"?

Someone fond of the movie "Birth of a Nation"?


More like "hippie parents that smoked way too much weed and did LSD." Same with parents who name their kids things like "sunshine," "cloudy," "rainy," and assorted other weather names.
 
2013-04-26 02:09:12 PM
cdn5.movieclips.com
 
2013-04-26 02:10:50 PM

imfallen_angel: Barfmaker: A pox on auto start videos. Fleas of a thousand camels, etc.

Maybe a better browser, or at least the proper add-ons?


Some of us are at work and have no control over that. The army network only allows IE, no add-ons, can't install any software, and half of the farking internet is filtered out. Yet, it has no problem autoplaying the loudest, most obnoxious videos guaranteed to get your coworkers attention.
 
2013-04-26 02:11:29 PM

GameSprocket: FTFA:
A North Carolina political strategist died from stab wounds after she and her husband were allegedly attacked in their home by their close friend and best man from their wedding.
Jonathan Broyhill, 31, is recovering from "self-inflicted wounds" and was charged with attempted murder after police say he attacked Jamie Hahn, 29, and wounded her husband, Nation, 27, in their Raleigh home Monday night.


[i0.kym-cdn.com image 533x594]


He was charged before she died.  I believe they've already said the charges will change now.
 
2013-04-26 02:14:09 PM

endmile: imfallen_angel: Barfmaker: A pox on auto start videos. Fleas of a thousand camels, etc.

Maybe a better browser, or at least the proper add-ons?

Some of us are at work and have no control over that. The army network only allows IE, no add-ons, can't install any software, and half of the farking internet is filtered out. Yet, it has no problem autoplaying the loudest, most obnoxious videos guaranteed to get your coworkers attention.


Here here.  Although my work allows Chrome.  Most of the photo sites and social media sites are blocked.  While you are all laughing at a really funny picture, I'm seeing a big white box
 
2013-04-26 02:14:22 PM
Protip: Don't screw around with other people's money, then you won't have to stab your best friend's wife to keep her quiet.
 
2013-04-26 02:18:56 PM

FatherChaos: Protip: Don't screw around with other people's money, then you won't have to stab your best friend's wife to keep her quiet.


Meh... Just don't get caught...
 
2013-04-26 02:19:12 PM
The real crime is that there is a guy who goes by the name 'Nation'.
 
2013-04-26 02:21:56 PM

endmile: imfallen_angel: Barfmaker: A pox on auto start videos. Fleas of a thousand camels, etc.

Maybe a better browser, or at least the proper add-ons?

Some of us are at work and have no control over that. The army network only allows IE, no add-ons, can't install any software, and half of the farking internet is filtered out. Yet, it has no problem autoplaying the loudest, most obnoxious videos guaranteed to get your coworkers attention.


Maybe the best solution is to not Fark on company time?
 
2013-04-26 02:22:34 PM
I'm on board with the "fark websites with the autoplaying video feature" crowd. The IT department doesn't allow updating software for ad-block, and sound tends to travel in cubeland. To get around this I browse with my PC muted or with headphones on.

Also, farking from a smartphone.

/usually on the toilet
 
2013-04-26 02:24:00 PM

imfallen_angel: endmile: imfallen_angel: Barfmaker: A pox on auto start videos. Fleas of a thousand camels, etc.

Maybe a better browser, or at least the proper add-ons?

Some of us are at work and have no control over that. The army network only allows IE, no add-ons, can't install any software, and half of the farking internet is filtered out. Yet, it has no problem autoplaying the loudest, most obnoxious videos guaranteed to get your coworkers attention.

Maybe the best solution is to not Fark on company time?


Are you high or something? Get the fark out.
 
2013-04-26 02:24:22 PM

skullkrusher: rkiller1: jakeone: jehovahs witness protection: Two less idiots on the planet.

Two *fewer* idiots on the planet.

THIS (my pet peeve peave, to)

pet free range peave

 
2013-04-26 02:25:52 PM
He was just trying to save his best friend from a fate worse than death.
 
2013-04-26 02:39:46 PM

meow said the dog: Regardless of this I think we can all reach the agreement on one point and that point is that the name Nation is the stupidest of names.


Dear God, I've missed you.
 
2013-04-26 02:42:55 PM

imfallen_angel: endmile: imfallen_angel: Barfmaker: A pox on auto start videos. Fleas of a thousand camels, etc.

Maybe a better browser, or at least the proper add-ons?

Some of us are at work and have no control over that. The army network only allows IE, no add-ons, can't install any software, and half of the farking internet is filtered out. Yet, it has no problem autoplaying the loudest, most obnoxious videos guaranteed to get your coworkers attention.

Maybe the best solution is to not Fark on company time?


My job is not in a factory.  I get work assigned to me at various times throughout the day/week.  I will have tons to do for hours and then nothing.  Sometimes the nothing amounts to 1/2 the day or more.  It's just the kind of job I have.  They pay me as a salary instead of by the hour/job.
 
2013-04-26 02:50:35 PM

JusticeandIndependence: imfallen_angel: endmile: imfallen_angel: Barfmaker: A pox on auto start videos. Fleas of a thousand camels, etc.

Maybe a better browser, or at least the proper add-ons?

Some of us are at work and have no control over that. The army network only allows IE, no add-ons, can't install any software, and half of the farking internet is filtered out. Yet, it has no problem autoplaying the loudest, most obnoxious videos guaranteed to get your coworkers attention.

Maybe the best solution is to not Fark on company time?

My job is not in a factory.  I get work assigned to me at various times throughout the day/week.  I will have tons to do for hours and then nothing.  Sometimes the nothing amounts to 1/2 the day or more.  It's just the kind of job I have.  They pay me as a salary instead of by the hour/job.



I am an independent scientist doing research at an Army lab. I don't actually work for them (or anyone else, really. I'm technically not employed by anyone since I don't provide any goods or services to anyone), so it's only my time. And sometimes I need a farking break from writing papers, analyzing data, or whatever brain-frying crap I'm doing. That's what FARK is for.
 
2013-04-26 03:03:15 PM

HellRaisingHoosier: apotheosis27: ready for a CSB?

Few years ago my buddy gets married, his bro is the 'best' man.  Bro is a sociopath.  Bro brings this chick from Venezuela to the wedding.  He sees her chatting with another guy...a rather large fella, Beefcake.

An hour or so into the reception, I'm standing in the line for the bar.  Beefcake is in front of me.  Beefcake is a good guy, I've known him for many years.

Bro walks up nonchalantly and headbutts Beefcake, splits his face open.  Blood spewing everywhere, chaos ensues.  Nobody knows quite what is going on.  The grandfather of the bride gets into it, trying to kill Bro.  The melee separates then comes back together, spills out into the hallway of the reception place.  Utter chaos.  Lots of crying as you can imagine.

Everyone scatters, like 200 ppl.  Reception was over.  Marriage lasted 6 months.  Bro has been forgiven but he's still a major douche.

/csb


Awesome. Tell me "Bro" saw some jail time?

It sounds farked up but I've always wanted something like this to happen to me. Just so I could have the chance to fark someone up without any consequences.


Nope.  Bro has lived a life of no consequences.  ~38 years old, still living with mom & dad, no job.

Not sure what his Fark handle is...I'll have to ask
 
2013-04-26 03:26:45 PM

apotheosis27: HellRaisingHoosier: apotheosis27: ready for a CSB?

Few years ago my buddy gets married, his bro is the 'best' man.  Bro is a sociopath.  Bro brings this chick from Venezuela to the wedding.  He sees her chatting with another guy...a rather large fella, Beefcake.

An hour or so into the reception, I'm standing in the line for the bar.  Beefcake is in front of me.  Beefcake is a good guy, I've known him for many years.

Bro walks up nonchalantly and headbutts Beefcake, splits his face open.  Blood spewing everywhere, chaos ensues.  Nobody knows quite what is going on.  The grandfather of the bride gets into it, trying to kill Bro.  The melee separates then comes back together, spills out into the hallway of the reception place.  Utter chaos.  Lots of crying as you can imagine.

Everyone scatters, like 200 ppl.  Reception was over.  Marriage lasted 6 months.  Bro has been forgiven but he's still a major douche.

/csb


Awesome. Tell me "Bro" saw some jail time?

It sounds farked up but I've always wanted something like this to happen to me. Just so I could have the chance to fark someone up without any consequences.

Nope.  Bro has lived a life of no consequences.  ~38 years old, still living with mom & dad, no job.

Not sure what his Fark handle is...I'll have to ask


My friend had that happen at her wedding. It was out of state, so I didn't attend, but as they were leaving the reception to go to their hotel, a groomsmen, the best man and one of her cousins got into a major brawl. The best man gave one of the guys a broken jaw. He was arrested, but ended up getting a 'drunk and disorderly' but no assault. He kept harassing my friend and her husband to be character witnesses when he thought he was going to be in deep shiat.. My friend finally settled on, "we witnessed the true nature of your character at the wedding, stop contacting us."
 
2013-04-26 03:29:02 PM
Slime associates with slime.  In this case a politician and an embezzler.
 
2013-04-26 03:45:41 PM

SkorzenyNinja: Satan's Bunny Slippers: SkorzenyNinja: 

[what-the-fark-am-i-reading.jpg]

You are not new here.

Yeah, I apologize. I checked the profile after I replied. Kind of disconcerting that this rogue slipped through the cracks for me somehow. Guess I should probably work less and fark more.

/problem has been rectified in a farkied fashion


Heh.  I didn't mean for my statement to sound as mean as it did now that I re-read it.  Anyway, MSTD was gone for quite a while from literland, so I had to do a doubletake a while back as well.

Everyone should work less, fark more.  :)

/just got back into office today
//flood scare, 30' walls and 29.8' of water
///working at home this week was not all it's cracked up to be
 
2013-04-26 03:49:10 PM
Everyone associated with John Edwards turns out to be crazy.
 
2013-04-26 03:54:08 PM
Yeah, but according to some Farkers in yesterday's rape thread, it's the victim's fault for being stabbed in her bed by her groom's best man. I mean, duh. I bet she dressed like a stabbee while sleeping, too.
 
2013-04-26 04:18:13 PM

shootsright: Who tweets their grievances over the murder of a loved one?


Someone who was in on it.  My guess is the groom and the best man did not like the bride getting so close to their money smuggling operation.
 
2013-04-26 04:31:57 PM

rooftop235: LandOfChocolate: Barfmaker: A pox on auto start videos. Fleas of a thousand camels, etc.

Yup.  I won't click on anything from abcnews or contactmusic any more.

Shame on you submitter for submitting this when there are plenty of other sites to link from.

Good lord take off your diapers and quit whining.



I think we found subby, and he's a little defensive.

Sorry your submission sucks, but autostart videos are the debeil, and being defensive about it and calling other people "whiners" isn't exactly making you look any better.

So put on your big boy pants and admit you screwed up.

/And if you're not subby, then I don't know what your problem is.
 
2013-04-26 04:32:51 PM

rkiller1: Instead of murder, why couldn't he just c*nt punt her?


Because he doesn't belong to a sorority?
 
2013-04-26 04:50:40 PM
 
2013-04-26 05:01:42 PM

magicgoo: Yeah, but according to some Farkers in yesterday's rape thread, it's the victim's fault for being stabbed in her bed by her groom's best man. I mean, duh. I bet she dressed like a stabbee while sleeping, too.


Yes, you're the delight that seemed to think it's also unreasonable to encourage woman to take ordinary safety precautions when in high risk situations.  Because those high risk situations shouldn't exist.  Even though they do.

 
Maybe in this case the husband and wife knew their buddy was a psycho and a liar and still hung out with him anyway.  Doesn't mean they deserved a stabbing. If they had a chance to do it over again, they'd probably put some distance between themselves and crazy pants.
 
2013-04-26 05:50:02 PM

jakeone: jehovahs witness protection: Two less idiots on the planet.

Two *fewer* idiots on the planet.


Wrong.
 
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