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(Snopes)   South Carolina church tells pupils the Earth is only thousands of years old, dinosaurs lived with man, and how to snap back at anyone who tells them different. Sorry, did I say church? Make that a fourth grade classroom   (snopes.com) divider line 464
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14937 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2013 at 2:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-26 07:36:53 AM
Rep senator: does e.coli evolve into people?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQObhb3veQA

But to those saying they have smart co-workers or friends that are creationists, I just have to wonder if they aren't just pulling your legs and secretly feel disappointed in you.
 
2013-04-26 07:38:28 AM

Apos: The "were you there?!" retort is undeniably the creepiest aspect of this indoctrination.


My reply: No. Were you? Did you see Skyman create the heavens and Earth? Oh, it's in a book? Did you see the book get written?

It's a seriously dumb lack of an argument.
 
2013-04-26 07:40:41 AM

HotWingConspiracy: redundantman: Excellent!  A Fark thread on creationism.  Humanity can FINALLY put this argument behind it after the resident titans of intellect weigh in with their prepared statements.

That has already happened. Creationists are a punchline.


I wish i could agree with you, but these people are dictating curriculum in states and trying to control curriculum nation wide from a federal level... I'm not saying that the feds are seriously considering it right now, but who knows what will happen if more of these idiots are elected into office...
 
2013-04-26 07:43:20 AM
That "Where you there?" comment would get a backhand from me.
 
2013-04-26 07:43:42 AM

Ed Grubermann: kazikian: I can never understand why anyone would think evolution is incompatible with religion. God could very well have created creatures that are able to evolve to better suit their needs as time passes and things change. If anything that would seem to add to the glory of God; I mean, not only is He able to create life, but He creates life that continues to function and adapt independently of further supernatural meddling. How cool is that, right?

I'll let Ken Ham answer that for you.


And on a lower, more primal level if you accept that life evolves, that life changes, that human is NOT created as a beautiful replica of perfection and therefore the closest in the world to perfection, that Humanity (and more specifically the theist) is not the center of the universe; well that's just horrifying.  If we are truly alone in a vast, uncaring universe, we suddenly realize it's very, very cold.

Even more existentially terrifying?  "Human" is only transitional as well, and will ultimately give way to something greater.  Meaning we are something lesser.  Meaning OH GOD THE EMOTIONAL ANGUISH!
 
2013-04-26 07:45:22 AM

HotWingConspiracy: redundantman: Excellent!  A Fark thread on creationism.  Humanity can FINALLY put this argument behind it after the resident titans of intellect weigh in with their prepared statements.

That has already happened. Creationists are a punchline.


I was convinced we'd put the argument behind us in the 80s until the internet started telling me different.
 
2013-04-26 07:46:48 AM

Nezu Chiza: The best thing about insane people saying "Were you there?" is that you can then ask "Were you?"


Likely answer: 'no, but God was and he wrote it in the Bible so I believe Him.'
 
2013-04-26 07:47:49 AM
While I can't agree with the curriculum, few jobs in the US depend on solid understanding of evolution. Sadly these kids are probably better prepared for a job in science or engineering than the 80 percent the students in the public school system who can't read.
 
2013-04-26 07:50:55 AM
"Were you there?"

In my ramblings about the internet I have actually heard this as a come back from an adult Atheist more than once. I've responded in a variety of ways but I think this is the best one...

'You're right, I wasn't there. You make a good argument. How about we both gather up all of the physical and biological evidence and present it in a court and see whose right?'

You will be amazed how many creationists will confidently tell you that their ideas would easily withstand a court test at least as well as if not better than evolution.

That's when you tell them that it was already done and the major witness of 'intelligent design' had to admit under oath that various forms of psychic reading were just as valid as ID under his definition of 'science'. To say that the creations lost when this went to court would be a vast understatement and that's putting aside the fact that the people who came up with ID backed out of defending it it court, leaving poor Behe by himself to be made a fool of.
 
2013-04-26 07:52:40 AM
Why does nobody question why it's titled "4th Grade Science Quiz?"!

Smells like total bullshiat to me.
 
2013-04-26 07:55:53 AM

yoursafewordisharder: CSB time ...
After growing up in New England, my parents briefly moved to Texas when I was in fourth grade. Remember the capitalization quizzes they'd give you in school? I vividly remember getting the following one marked wrong: "Capitalize the correct word(s) in this sentence: 'the indians worshipped many different gods.' " I was docked for not capitalizing the word "gods." When I asked the teacher about this, since I was pretty sure I was right in only capitalizing the word "the", I was called out in front of the class and told "You always capitalize the name of our lord and savior!!" And yes, this was a public school, albeit in 1980.

/ I've been a bit skeptical of religion and authority figures since

// Oh and yes, a hearty GFY to you, Mrs. Farr, wherever you are


Pretty sure she also forgot to teach you Indians should have been capitalized in that sentence as well.
 
2013-04-26 08:04:11 AM

ThrobblefootSpectre: While I can't agree with the curriculum, few jobs in the US depend on solid understanding of evolution. Sadly these kids are probably better prepared for a job in science or engineering than the 80 percent the students in the public school system who can't read.


80% of kids in public school can't read?
 
2013-04-26 08:06:11 AM

keylock71: ThrobblefootSpectre: While I can't agree with the curriculum, few jobs in the US depend on solid understanding of evolution. Sadly these kids are probably better prepared for a job in science or engineering than the 80 percent the students in the public school system who can't read.

80% of kids in public school can't read?


He's overstating. They can read, they just can't read good.
 
2013-04-26 08:07:52 AM

ThrobblefootSpectre: While I can't agree with the curriculum, few jobs in the US depend on solid understanding of evolution. Sadly these kids are probably better prepared for a job in science or engineering than the 80 percent the students in the public school system who can't read.


They're also better prepared to vote for the GOP's agenda of "God decides when the world ends, therefore Keystone XL"
 
2013-04-26 08:08:43 AM

MBK: You know anyone can print out tests and claim they are "real deals".

It...is really damn easy.  A few bad clip art pieces, some questions, and OMG INSTANT INTERNET CELEBRITY


For who? Some anonymous poster? And, I mean, why? Why would anyone want "INSTANT INTERNET CELEBRITY" for something like this?
 
2013-04-26 08:09:08 AM

keylock71: ThrobblefootSpectre: While I can't agree with the curriculum, few jobs in the US depend on solid understanding of evolution. Sadly these kids are probably better prepared for a job in science or engineering than the 80 percent the students in the public school system who can't read.

80% of kids in public school can't read?


Well, in new york anyway. Its an easy Google, and posting links from my cell is a pain.
 
2013-04-26 08:09:12 AM
I was not there.

But let me show you what was...
 
2013-04-26 08:10:41 AM
9/10 troll.

The different handwriting (3/28/13 vs. 6th and Plants) and nicely circled answers (4th graders don't circle answers quickly, they take their time and the circle is more round) = doctored. Too obvious, but it got a couple hundred replies, so...
 
2013-04-26 08:12:20 AM
It's not really as bad as people are making it out to be.  However the real answers are:

1. True
2. True
3. Friday
4. False.  But if you stretch the definition of dinosaurs a bit, then true.
5. Pretty much everything and then some.
6. None of the below.
7. False
 
2013-04-26 08:15:45 AM

yukichigai: Frankly, I like to think of God as a sort of brilliant scientist running an experiment.  Put some primordial ooze on a planet (or several) in a universe, watch and see what happens.  Bonus, leave behind the ability to observe and interact with the universe on a fundamental level and see how long it takes life to figure it all out.  Maybe step in once or twice if the experiment isn't going to your liking.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWJdbhSMUoc
 
2013-04-26 08:18:18 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: keylock71: ThrobblefootSpectre: While I can't agree with the curriculum, few jobs in the US depend on solid understanding of evolution. Sadly these kids are probably better prepared for a job in science or engineering than the 80 percent the students in the public school system who can't read.

80% of kids in public school can't read?

He's overstating. They can read, they just can't read good.


Not so much overstating as talking out of his ass, I would say...

According to the National Assessment of Educational Progress, in 2009, 33% of 4th grade public school students are at or below the "Basic" level and 26% of 8th grade public school students performed at or below the "Basic" level on the NAEP reading test.


Still pretty bad, no doubt, but no where near 80%.
 
2013-04-26 08:19:14 AM

Britney Spear's Speculum: "Probably true"
On top of that, it's from reddit.


"probably true" is the Snopes version of "eh, whatever" and if you read the article they don't know anything more than the rest of us(all they say is do is summarize what was posted online) but as we all know nothing fake ever gets posted to Reddit(particularly by the geniuses on the Atheism board), so yeah seems totally legit.

/I put that chances of it being real around 10% or so(which is probably still too generous)
 
2013-04-26 08:20:02 AM
Ok -- Just to preface i'm not a bible thumper by any means im just offering a theists view.
Okay, so first off, I understand a lot of what you are saying but I feel like you are dismissing or ignoring my initial point that supposedly we were made in his image. God made a mold of himself, then made it pint sized and created Adam and Eve. Granted without all the groovy powers, but he is a jealous god after all. Obviously I can't tell him what he can and can't do, the very notion is absurd, since he can do anything except microwave a burrito so hot that he himself can't eat it. I can however say Dude! Dick move!

Image might just mean we are free conscious thinking creating creatures. Our natures are similar. And very fickle.

. If he's such a psychopath that killing us all can be likened to reorganizing the office furniture I don't think he really deserves out admiration, love, respect and worship.

But he does. Because killing us all would be like reorganizing his office. You know what the bible demands we show god first? Fear. Then respect. God is to be feared and respected. He does not want our love or admiration or respect. He demands fear. God doesn't have to conform to any 'nice guy' traits. He is god -- the whole point here is that if god exists he would require your faith and worship whether he was loving or not. He doesn't need you to think he deserves it. He deserves it. Cause hes god.

Further, if it was all pre-ordained because he was power tripping, who was he showing off to? He farking killed everyone who could have used the lesson and Noah was already in his corner.

He wasn't showing off. He turned his etcha-sketch upside down and shook it like a bastard. He wasn't showing off -- he was plowing the road for the few things he left around. And for some reason he wanted to do it that way? From what i remember part of the whole thing about the flood was because god made a covenant with Noah to never wipe out earth again he implied the eventual comming of jesus.. And thats only if you take that story in its most literal sense. Allot of people see it as a parable or an apocryphal story.

So, he can't make us sinless because he gave us free will. But he also didn't just create a blank slate and see what happened. He created us like him, meaning whatever we did he could do (and possibly did) too. If anything it feels like an instance of self flagellation but instead of spanking himself because of his capacity for evil, he took it out on us, who were only acting like him in the first place.

But he didn't take it out on us. You're looking at it like god is either hands off or hands on -- couldnt it be both? For instance -- consider that he has the capacity for evil but is not inherently evil and does not have an evil nature. He isn't punishing us or anything -- he's giving us the ability to screw things up and be assholes should we so choose.

I disagree that he has no accountability, I think it just manifests differently. What he want is worshipers and people not being pricks. If he doesn't behave accordingly he will lose both those things. He just measures his success in ways that we can not. If I'm going to question the nature of God I have to go down the anthromorphized path, all I know about hi is that he is a lot like us, but with more power. Well. like us and te only dude in the middle east who's Son was blond haired, fair skinned and blue eyed somehow... talk about miracles =P.

But he doesn't have accountability. To whom is he accountable? All his followers are creations of his very whim. I guess you could count self accountability but then god is also described as vengeful and jealous so i suppose the criteria for accountability was whether he was happy with what he did or not. And i suppose if he really is god then the only stuff that exists is the stuff he was happy with.

And you cant anthropomorphize god. I'mean -- theism doesn't mean you belive in a certain TYPE of god -- it just means you believe in a/multiple god/s. Saying god doesn't exist because you don't agree with whats in the bible is like declaring all authors retarded because you read the fountainhead.

How can you be an atheist if you only let the most retarded of your opponents set the rules for what constitutes god?

have a good night uchi -- I feel your pain having lost your post.
 
2013-04-26 08:21:32 AM

ThrobblefootSpectre: keylock71: ThrobblefootSpectre: While I can't agree with the curriculum, few jobs in the US depend on solid understanding of evolution. Sadly these kids are probably better prepared for a job in science or engineering than the 80 percent the students in the public school system who can't read.

80% of kids in public school can't read?

Well, in new york anyway. Its an easy Google, and posting links from my cell is a pain.


That's wrong, as well. I believe the 80% number is from NYC not the entire state of New York, and I'm sure you are aware that neither NYC or New York state constitute the entirety of the United States... No matter how much they like to think it does. : )
 
2013-04-26 08:21:34 AM

iheartscotch: FAKE! I went to a catholic school; even there they fit evolution to genesis. It wasn't six calendar days, no, it was six metaphorical days that stretched back from the moment god created the earth, till he created man.

/ but, then again, that was right around the time that rocks were invented


Ditto.
 
2013-04-26 08:22:10 AM
Aaaaaaaand wtf happened to my post? Wheres the blue text? whatever. Fark ate your post and crapped all over my formatting. Time for bed is right.
 
2013-04-26 08:23:21 AM

Calipataa: Milwaukee? Is there life on Milwaukee?


There must be. After all, it's Algonquin for "the good land."
 
2013-04-26 08:27:44 AM
227 comments in, and no Bevets? :P
 
2013-04-26 08:31:57 AM

stryed: Rep senator: does e.coli evolve into people?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQObhb3veQA

But to those saying they have smart co-workers or friends that are creationists, I just have to wonder if they aren't just pulling your legs and secretly feel disappointed in you.


I would doubt it only because this phenomenon of otherwise intelligent people doing and saying incredibly retarded things can manifest in more ways than wacky religions. Take ,my father for instance, he's a smart guy. SW engineer near the embedded side of things, also has his own business doing SW dev. However this otherwise smart healthy individual would have voted for Dubya for a third term had he been given the option.  I mean, what the fark? He doesn't make even a quarter of the money that would warrant making a decision so magnificently retarded.
 
2013-04-26 08:33:40 AM

CeroX: Seriously, they have a room labeled "The world without God", which features various displays like a newspaper that headlines "Children attacked by packs of wolves" and a video clip of a mother telling her 12 year old to get an abortion, Another newspaper article that reads "Homosexuals recruiting children" and a bunch of other stupid nonsense...


WTF is it with fundies and children? Why does all the bad stuff ONLY happen to kids? Doesn't anyone make it to adulthood in that "world without God?" Where are the farking adults?? They continually play the CHILDREN card like they're infatuated with them, or something.

That should tell you something.
 
2013-04-26 08:34:26 AM
Around here, the Catholic schools teach evolution. I thought that was the official stance of the church.
 
2013-04-26 08:35:31 AM
Fake. At least the teacher should know the bible-- on the 6th day God created man. Animals were on Day 5.
 
2013-04-26 08:36:41 AM

CeroX: HotWingConspiracy: redundantman: Excellent!  A Fark thread on creationism.  Humanity can FINALLY put this argument behind it after the resident titans of intellect weigh in with their prepared statements.

That has already happened. Creationists are a punchline.

I wish i could agree with you, but these people are dictating curriculum in states and trying to control curriculum nation wide from a federal level... I'm not saying that the feds are seriously considering it right now, but who knows what will happen if more of these idiots are elected into office...


The word you are looking for is scum assholes dominionists. Sorry,  I don't know what got into me there.
 
2013-04-26 08:36:57 AM
Also, the 80% number isn't "80% can't read", but rather 80% of NYC public high school graduates taking entrance exams to Community Colleges lack basic skills in reading, writing, and math.

I'm not arguing that there isn't a big problem with the lack of basic skills in reading and writing, but let's use these numbers accurately and and leave hyperbole out of it.
 
2013-04-26 08:38:54 AM

kd1s: That "Where you there?" comment would get a backhand from me.


Expulsion aside, the fact a school child can't be arrested for assault thanks to age would SO make this worth it. =D
 
2013-04-26 08:39:45 AM
Fake - I know the original submitter to both reddit and its subsequent submission to Snopes.
 
2013-04-26 08:40:10 AM
Since my wife taught 4th grade in SC for 10 years and is now an assistant principal I can say this is not taught in SC public schools. Probably some Baptist private school. Glad vouchers didn't pass.
 
2013-04-26 08:41:10 AM

PunkTiger: WTF is it with fundies and children? Why does all the bad stuff ONLY happen to kids? Doesn't anyone make it to adulthood in that "world without God?" Where are the farking adults?? They continually play the CHILDREN card like they're infatuated with them, or something.


Those things are targeted at children. There's really only two times in your life when you're susceptible to people selling afterlife insurance: when you are too young to identify bullshiat or preparing to die and terrified of death. Indoctrinate the kids in your hermetically sealed world view by associating not believing in it with the worst things they can imagine, being burned, being devoured by wolves, being locked away forever, etc and they'll shy away from anything that questions that world view for the rest of their life.
 
2013-04-26 08:43:44 AM
Ahhh, the power of Faith.

How are the American Fundamentalists any different from the savages in Southern Africa that rape infants to cure AIDs, or these people in Chile who have plenty of similarities with the people here at home. It isn't just Christians either, there is a whole town in upstate New York where women are physically attacked for not covering their heads in public, and the local "law enforcement" agency consults with a full-time Rabbi on the city's payroll before leveling charges, even in the cases of rape, incest and domestic violence including outright murder.


Humans are not going to mature as a species until we forsake these pre-literacy, old world belief systems. The big religion companies know this, and that is why they are doing everything they can, legal and otherwise to destroy the public education system in this country.
 
2013-04-26 08:44:41 AM

Monkeyhouse Zendo: Indoctrinate the kids in your hermetically sealed world view by associating not believing in it with the worst things they can imagine, being burned, being devoured by wolves, being locked away forever, etc and they'll shy away from anything that questions that world view for the rest of their life.


Thankfully, that approach has the complete opposite effect in some cases... Anecdotally, I went to a born-again christian grammar and middle school and all it did was help make me into the happily areligious person I am today. : )
 
2013-04-26 08:45:39 AM

TheBigJerk: Even more existentially terrifying?  "Human" is only transitional as well, and will ultimately give way to something greater.  Meaning we are something lesser.  Meaning OH GOD THE EMOTIONAL ANGUISH!


It's been argued that intelligent life stops evolving because we change the environment to suit us.  Natural selection, survival of the fittest and all that jazz relies upon a species doing battle with a harmful environment and being predated upon. When these pressures cease there is no longer any reason for the species to further advance. Also, given our species tendency to shun and discard anything not *exactly* like us, even if a newer, better, mutated human came about the odds are very poor that they will have the opportunity to reproduce their mutations.

\neat argument huh?
 
2013-04-26 08:45:43 AM

impaler: Since it's a private school, I feel more pity than outrage.

We need more STEM, yet we get this shat.


Why do we need more STEM?  It's not like an American kid will get the job as long as there are poor kids from China and India willing to do the job for a fraction of the cost....
 
2013-04-26 08:47:45 AM

keylock71: ThrobblefootSpectre: While I can't agree with the curriculum, few jobs in the US depend on solid understanding of evolution. Sadly these kids are probably better prepared for a job in science or engineering than the 80 percent the students in the public school system who can't read.

80% of kids in public school can't read?


Seriously! That's unbelievable, I literally can not believe that almost half of American kids can't read
 
2013-04-26 08:48:13 AM
No, no, NO!

God created the dinosaurs and our human-like ancestors in his first attempt at creation. (Yes, dinosaurs and human-ish creatures were here at the same time! Duh!) He didn't much like them because they were jerks and so he destroyed them. Then he took a break and then made all the animals we know and us.

Carbon dating and other stuff that science types do to tell us how old stuff is are INACCURATE!!!!111

Scientists are NOT GOD!!!!! Their smarts come from God, but they turn away from God and choose to use their brains for the world/man. (Sin!)

/know someone who believes this.
 
2013-04-26 08:49:03 AM

mikefinch: its crazy to think that a god would be constrained by human logic.


But logic is not a creation of humans, it's merely an astute observation OF realty.  God - if it exists, MUST NECESSARILY be constrained by logic.

The first law of logic is called the law of identity and states that a thing IS what it IS:  A=A.

If the biblical god is not necessarily the god defined in the bible, then what is it?  IF God isn't subject to A=A, then A could equal anything at all.   God could be ANYTHING - a small blue soapdish, or an insignificant mote of dust.

IF God is not constrained by logic, then God can simultaneously both exist and NOT exist; it would be exactly as accurate to say that God doesn't exist as to say that He does.

In fact, if God is not subject to A=A, then ANY - EVERY - STATEMENT made about God is equally true/accurate and false/misleading.

So yeah, as far as I can suss it out, God must necessarily be subject to logic.
 
2013-04-26 08:50:19 AM

TheBigJerk: Ed Grubermann: kazikian: I can never understand why anyone would think evolution is incompatible with religion. God could very well have created creatures that are able to evolve to better suit their needs as time passes and things change. If anything that would seem to add to the glory of God; I mean, not only is He able to create life, but He creates life that continues to function and adapt independently of further supernatural meddling. How cool is that, right?

I'll let Ken Ham answer that for you.

And on a lower, more primal level if you accept that life evolves, that life changes, that human is NOT created as a beautiful replica of perfection and therefore the closest in the world to perfection, that Humanity (and more specifically the theist) is not the center of the universe; well that's just horrifying.  If we are truly alone in a vast, uncaring universe, we suddenly realize it's very, very cold.

Even more existentially terrifying?  "Human" is only transitional as well, and will ultimately give way to something greater.  Meaning we are something lesser.  Meaning OH GOD THE EMOTIONAL ANGUISH!


I dont see why god wouldnt be able to think it all out start to finish and then toss it into motion. Why would god care about science? They would effectively be rules he came up with.

Whats more existentially terrifying for me is that the vast uncaring universe exists at all. And to be honest i do have emotional anguish related to it. I get freaking depressed. Very very depressed. Mostly because i feel like my soul is caught doing a permanent impression of Edvard munches 'the scream' in reaction to just being here. Its not just terrifying and horrifying enough to be conscious and have to live and die and figure all that shiat out but people have to be horrible terrible sunsofbiatches while you try to do it... And then to comprehend your unintended propagation of that system that so disgusts you... Its just... farked up. Whether you believe in god or not life is farked up and existentially horrifying.
 
2013-04-26 08:51:55 AM

AGremlin: [www.disbeliefnet.com image 481x261]

Came for Dinosaur Jesus...had to bring him myself.


That raptor always looks so traumatized to me I can't help but wonder what Jesus is saying to him. "Shhh. Shhh. Yes, I'm going to murder you all with a giant fireball and you aren't eligible for heaven but some fat monkeys will enjoy bringing their whiny snot-nosed offspring to come and stare at your reassembled skeleton so it'll all work out in the end!"
 
2013-04-26 08:54:43 AM

Uchiha_Cycliste: keylock71: ThrobblefootSpectre: While I can't agree with the curriculum, few jobs in the US depend on solid understanding of evolution. Sadly these kids are probably better prepared for a job in science or engineering than the 80 percent the students in the public school system who can't read.

80% of kids in public school can't read?

Seriously! That's unbelievable, I literally can not believe that almost half of American kids can't read



...And what's worser, besides that 80%, the other 75% lack basic math skills. Literally... : )
 
2013-04-26 08:56:05 AM

grxymkjbn: So yeah, as far as I can suss it out, God must necessarily be subject to logic.


No...

grxymkjbn: But logic is not a creation of humans, it's merely an astute observation OF realty.


And god is not constrained by reality -- rather reality is constrained by god.
 
2013-04-26 08:56:37 AM

keylock71: Also, the 80% number isn't "80% can't read", but rather 80% of NYC public high school graduates taking entrance exams to Community Colleges lack basic skills in reading, writing, and math.

I'm not arguing that there isn't a big problem with the lack of basic skills in reading and writing, but let's use these numbers accurately and and leave hyperbole out of it.


My apologies for not couching the 80 percent figure in as favorable terms as possible. Lol. One can only assume you are ten times more upset about the other dozens of posts with hyperbole about this private school.
 
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