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(Denver Channel)   The Tampa Woman's Club held an event where they poured 400 flutes of champagne. Inside each flute was a cubic zirconia, and one of the flutes contained a $5,000 diamond. Guess which one was swallowed?   (thedenverchannel.com) divider line 65
    More: Florida, Tampa, mundane  
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5077 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2013 at 4:29 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-25 09:27:20 PM
Swallowed you say?

i181.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-25 11:39:04 PM
Doug?

/oh, wait... FLUTE
//nevermind
 
2013-04-25 11:45:44 PM
Well, I know who's going to get the most dates
 
2013-04-26 12:21:01 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Doug?

/oh, wait... FLUTE
//nevermind


Such a flake.

cretinbob: Well, I know who's going to get the most dates


I see what you did there.
 
2013-04-26 12:48:26 AM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

This too shall pass.
 
2013-04-26 01:26:48 AM
"A diamond in the rough" indeed....
 
2013-04-26 02:43:41 AM
Spike, take a letter: In my will, instruct my executor to do something like this at the wake, but unbeknownst to him, the envelope containing the stones will hold one diamond, 359 cubic zirconia, and 39 sugar crystals (or saline, that's octahedral, even if it tastes funny) that will dissolve within minutes of contact of any liquid.
 
2013-04-26 04:30:48 AM
How many other crystals were swallowed, though? If a whole bunch of CZs were swallowed, then it seems like it's not really all that weird.
 
2013-04-26 04:31:16 AM

basemetal: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 321x157]

This too shall pass.


Dang, beat me to it.
 
2013-04-26 04:32:54 AM
That's one way to make sure you get it home.
 
2013-04-26 04:44:27 AM
FTA: (After her colonoscopy):  Miriam stopped by the jewelry store to have the diamond tested.

"She came with it in a bio-hazard bag and it wasn't even cleaned," said Joy Pierson, the store's other partner.


There's so much wrong with this story.
 
2013-04-26 04:44:29 AM
So one had a cubic zirconia and a diamond? Seems a little obvious.
 
2013-04-26 04:48:00 AM
FTFA: "'She came with it in a bio-hazard bag and it wasn't even cleaned,' said Joy Pierson, the store's other partner."

Really? REALLY? What the fark is wrong with people in this world -- you can't rinse your own fecal matter off before you take it to be tested?
 
2013-04-26 04:56:09 AM
YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
 
2013-04-26 04:58:43 AM

gweilo8888: FTFA: "'She came with it in a bio-hazard bag and it wasn't even cleaned,' said Joy Pierson, the store's other partner."

Really? REALLY? What the fark is wrong with people in this world -- you can't rinse your own fecal matter off before you take it to be tested?


Yeah, you'd think a person would understand that's not part of that person's normal job, and that you are a disgusting asshole for even asking them to do that, let alone just expecting it. 'Oh, you inspect diamonds, do you? Well why don't you just inspect the one inside this giant bag of my poop.'

I'm a little sad the store manager didn't tell her to eff off and quit bringing in poop bags. Asking people who aren't doctors, nurses, or janitors to deal with poop is just wrong. Good customer service is one thing, but NO ONE in any job should have to handle customer's poop if they didn't sign up to do that as part of the job. But I'm guessing she's one of those people who views people she pays to do anything as 'one of the poors' and expects it's okay to treat them like servants. I have dealt with some pretty stuck up assholes in my day but this still amazes me, though sadly there are some people I can think of even now who would in fact try something like this if the situation came up. Too good for their own poop.
 
2013-04-26 04:59:50 AM
My thoughts as well, can't even put it in the sink and run water on it? I guess after a some kids I'm a battle hardened vet, but how did they put it in the bag in the first place?
 
2013-04-26 05:06:58 AM

anotar: My thoughts as well, can't even put it in the sink and run water on it? I guess after a some kids I'm a battle hardened vet, but how did they put it in the bag in the first place?


I'm guessing she shat straight into the bag. Probably had her maid hold it for her or something.
 
2013-04-26 05:07:01 AM
The diamond one?
 
2013-04-26 05:09:10 AM
imageshack.us
/Quick and dirty....
 
2013-04-26 05:19:44 AM
Did she swallow the one with a worthless stone in it?
 
2013-04-26 05:20:26 AM
Was it in her Tampa-X?
 
2013-04-26 05:22:23 AM
I have the weirdest boner right now
 
2013-04-26 05:31:39 AM
thisdistractedglobe.com

In 1941, Slim found out the hard way what happens to those who swallow valuables. She can only pray the charity is more merciful than the W II era Japanese.
 
2013-04-26 05:35:22 AM
Now we know that granny doesn't drink champagne but chugs it. That is the only way I can think of that you wouldn't notice a solid piece of rock amidst all the fluid.
 
2013-04-26 05:41:17 AM
 
2013-04-26 05:50:49 AM
Out of 400 people, she is the only one to swallow the real deal, biatch knew what she was doing.
 
2013-04-26 05:59:06 AM
themasterdebater

nice.
 
2013-04-26 06:05:37 AM

basemetal: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 321x157]

This too shall pass.


Swallowed your bridgework, eh?
 
2013-04-26 06:13:52 AM

ambercat: gweilo8888: FTFA: "'She came with it in a bio-hazard bag and it wasn't even cleaned,' said Joy Pierson, the store's other partner."

Really? REALLY? What the fark is wrong with people in this world -- you can't rinse your own fecal matter off before you take it to be tested?

Yeah, you'd think a person would understand that's not part of that person's normal job, and that you are a disgusting asshole for even asking them to do that, let alone just expecting it. 'Oh, you inspect diamonds, do you? Well why don't you just inspect the one inside this giant bag of my poop.'

I'm a little sad the store manager didn't tell her to eff off and quit bringing in poop bags. Asking people who aren't doctors, nurses, or janitors to deal with poop is just wrong. Good customer service is one thing, but NO ONE in any job should have to handle customer's poop if they didn't sign up to do that as part of the job. But I'm guessing she's one of those people who views people she pays to do anything as 'one of the poors' and expects it's okay to treat them like servants. I have dealt with some pretty stuck up assholes in my day but this still amazes me, though sadly there are some people I can think of even now who would in fact try something like this if the situation came up. Too good for their own poop.


I can understand the lady being 80 years old not cleaning it. Why didn't the doctor clean it up?
 
2013-04-26 06:37:29 AM
I work at a lot of charity functions and they do things like diamonds in a champagne flute a lot. I'm always surprised that this sort of situation doesn't come up more often.

Come out more often?
Come to pass more often?
There we go.
 
2013-04-26 06:43:25 AM
80-year-old woman

Can't farking old people do anything right?
 
2013-04-26 06:44:00 AM
FTA: "Miriam has decided to keep the diamond in her family, not literally of course"

That's just horrible.
 
2013-04-26 06:44:33 AM
Champagne isn't supposed to be crunchy.
 
2013-04-26 06:55:32 AM
Drinks champagne and shiat diamonds.
 
2013-04-26 06:58:03 AM
Not what women from Tampa usually swallow for a diamond.
 
2013-04-26 06:59:08 AM
Tampa Women's Club?  They ALL swallow.
 
2013-04-26 07:03:12 AM
i.imgur.com
"Look in the woman."
 
2013-04-26 07:07:15 AM
Drinking alcohol the day before a colonoscopy?

I know you're supposed to do a liquid diet the day before, but that seems awful hardcore.
 
2013-04-26 07:07:50 AM
I have always had an image of a women's club being lot like 400 cats in the same room.
 
2013-04-26 07:14:12 AM

Britney Spear's Speculum: Swallowed you say?

[i181.photobucket.com image 224x149]



Diamonds are such bullshiat.  Artificial scarcity, an artificial cultural significance, and people getting killed for it.
 
2013-04-26 07:31:01 AM
I know the apostrophe is difficult for some to master, but I thought most people knew how to use a question mark by first grade.
 
2013-04-26 07:42:47 AM

sonorangal: I can understand the lady being 80 years old not cleaning it. Why didn't the doctor clean it up?


I'm sorry, but if you can attend a party, slug back champagne like it's going out of fashion, and then haul ass to the jewelers to find out if you hit paydirt, you can probably close a drain plug down to a diamond-blocking crack, hit the plunger on some antibacterial soap, turn the tap on, tip the ziploc into the sink, and then stir the whole mess around with your arthritic claw until the sparkle and the poo have gone their separate ways.
 
2013-04-26 07:52:46 AM

Weidermeijer: Tampa Women's Club?  They ALL swallow.


Check the Fark headline -- this was the Tampa WOMAN'S Club, whose one member apparently swallows 400 times in a single event.
 
2013-04-26 07:57:07 AM

gweilo8888: sonorangal: I can understand the lady being 80 years old not cleaning it. Why didn't the doctor clean it up?

I'm sorry, but if you can attend a party, slug back champagne like it's going out of fashion, and then haul ass to the jewelers to find out if you hit paydirt, you can probably close a drain plug down to a diamond-blocking crack, hit the plunger on some antibacterial soap, turn the tap on, tip the ziploc into the sink, and then stir the whole mess around with your arthritic claw until the sparkle and the poo have gone their separate ways.


Your missing the step where she went to the Dr. The nurse probably just handed her the slightly poo encrusted diamond in a (possibly opaque) small bag. The 80 year old obviously doesn't have the best eye sight or she wouldnt have swallowed the thing to begin with. The odds are good she had no idea it was still dirty In any event I know I wouldn't hand a tiny valuable item to an 80 year old to clean. Their eye to hand coordination is often not very good.
 
2013-04-26 08:07:27 AM

quickdraw: In any event I know I wouldn't hand a tiny valuable item to an 80 year old to clean. Their eye to hand coordination is often not very good.


Good enough to get champagne to face. If she passes that test, she passes the "cleaning up your own poo" test.

/my gran is coming up on 88 and she'd give you a royal bolocking if you tried to stop her cleaning up after herself
 
2013-04-26 08:09:25 AM
Err, bollocking even.
 
2013-04-26 08:11:21 AM
I'm still trying to figure out what sort of club gives away a $5,000 diamond, and I'm sure the cubic zirconia weren't totally worthless either.

/wants a valuable gem stone for nothing
 
2013-04-26 08:35:32 AM

gweilo8888: quickdraw: In any event I know I wouldn't hand a tiny valuable item to an 80 year old to clean. Their eye to hand coordination is often not very good.

Good enough to get champagne to face. If she passes that test, she passes the "cleaning up your own poo" test.

/my gran is coming up on 88 and she'd give you a royal bolocking if you tried to stop her cleaning up after herself


My gran is 94 and developed glaucoma in her early 80s. She is fiercely independent and enjoys the occasional champagne but I still wouldn't trust her to clean a $5000.00 diamond. She hasnt been able to thread a needle for over a decade now. This frustrates her to no end. She does what she can to clean her own house. We don't point out all the spots she missed.
 
2013-04-26 08:40:50 AM

Nidiot: I'm still trying to figure out what sort of club gives away a $5,000 diamond, and I'm sure the cubic zirconia weren't totally worthless either.

/wants a valuable gem stone for nothing


Its a charity event. People pay a lot of money for a mediocre meal in order to support some worthy cause. There is often a prize given away randomly as a type of incentive. The PR for diamonds focused heavily on women during the 1950s. So diamonds still have some cache' for that generation of wealthy white women. Younger wealthy white women would not be so impressed and would require a different type of door prize.

HTH
 
2013-04-26 08:40:56 AM
CSB

I bought one of these for $50 at a charity event. I just shoved the little bag in my pocketbook, as my BFF was already puking. I totally forgot about it till I went to the jewelers for something and decided to make CZ earrings.

No shiat. It was the real one. Totally covered in pocketbook grunge.

/CSB
 
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