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(Daily Mail)   Winning: Dear Cir, do U have NE nice eZ jobs 4 me 2 do?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 26
    More: Sad, mr cameron, SMS language, mobile apps  
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17379 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Apr 2013 at 12:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-25 12:39:13 PM
7 votes:
The storey is definately not bias. People have spelling problem's and that's not the worse. They could of listed lot's of other things but their are mabey to many.

/shudder
2013-04-25 01:15:09 PM
5 votes:
Everybody knows the best EZ job is being the guy inside the RedBox DVD machines ! You get a TV,  and a fridge and all you have to do is push DVDs out the slot !   Just knock on one and yell loudly to them that you want a job over and over again and they will push an application out the slot for you.
2013-04-25 12:30:14 PM
5 votes:
*I haz inklooded piksure

i36.tinypic.com

Peggy McGee

--------------------------------------------------------------------- - --------------------

Dear Ms. McGee,

   We have spell check. Can you start tomorrow?


/Shamelessly stolen from FWD; fwd>>>.FWD.RE.FWD email
2013-04-25 12:36:40 PM
3 votes:
Entire article in four words: GET OFF MY LAWN.
2013-04-25 05:33:01 PM
2 votes:

fappomatic: STFU, GAFAJ!


i.ytimg.com

You get a goddamn job before sundown, or we're shipping you off to military school with the goddamn Finkelstein shiat kid! Son of a biatch!
2013-04-25 01:38:41 PM
2 votes:

natmar_76: I've heard the same thing regarding medical school applicants. Supposedly the newest generation of applicants lacks professionalism and appropriate interpersonal skills.


i.imgur.com
2013-04-25 01:24:16 PM
2 votes:

jonewer: On another note, I recently sent my third line manager (my bosses bosses boss's boss's boss) an email that began

Goof morning


FTFY
2013-04-25 12:42:07 PM
2 votes:

midigod: MichiganFTL: I prefer hiring

younger people, preferably college grads with little experience

FTFY

Best of luck with that.


It's working out well so far buddy. It's easier to train people with no experience than to untrain people with bad habits. It's allowed us to move to 6 states and double our workforce in 12 months, so I'm sorry we don't fit into your 'doomed for failure' mold.
2013-04-25 12:39:15 PM
2 votes:
s10.postimg.org

Seems qualified
2013-04-25 12:27:38 PM
2 votes:
OMG, like Nuh UH really? UR so much 8er. Icanhasasad# UNFAIR!! FML etc.
2013-04-25 05:42:21 PM
1 votes:

Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.


I probably would have filled out the App then made off with the pen. After telling them that "I haven't used such a primitive form of information input in 4 years.  I need to take it with me to add to my personal museum of obsolete hardware."
2013-04-25 05:16:32 PM
1 votes:
The prick hiring managers in this thread are either the most uptight assholes I've ever come across, or the best farking trolls I have ever seen.
2013-04-25 04:56:45 PM
1 votes:

iheartscotch: Regular street clothes for boomers consist of a button-down shirt, dress slacks and dress shoes, possibly a tie. If you wear that stuff regularly; you'll be alright. I'm just saying you might want to save your favorite MEGADEATH shirt for some other time.


Probably a good idea. Wearing a band shirt is bad enough, much less one that is misspelled.
2013-04-25 04:02:36 PM
1 votes:
Feh, showing up on time for stuff is for old people. I get there when I want, and people are happy to wait, because I'm awesome!

Now if only I could find a job in which "being awesome whenever the fark I feel like it" is the main qualification, I'd be set. And of course, it has to pay at least $60k a year, because anything less than that is not worth getting out of bed.
2013-04-25 02:00:43 PM
1 votes:

Kirzania: Great Janitor: I said, "I'm sorry, you're too dumb to work here if you think that's a fair deal."

Know how I know you haven't been laid off for an extended period of time with no job prospects in sight?
... Because that's how my gig goes. Thankfully, the salary's higher than that but it's just as ridiculous for my level of experience.


I've worked hourly, I've worked commission, I've worked hourly plus commission.  I've never worked salaried, and I never will.  My point of view is that if you're in a job and they are working you for 60 hours, you should be paid for all 60, with 20 at time and a half.  My last corporate level job the salaried people were paid their flat salaries and nothing more, but were expected to put in at least 50 hours.  I'm sorry, that's wrong.
2013-04-25 01:52:10 PM
1 votes:

Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.


Yeah, I would have left too, muttering "thank God I didn't wind up working for that asshole...".

/lighten up, francis
2013-04-25 01:50:35 PM
1 votes:

Great Janitor: I said, "I'm sorry, you're too dumb to work here if you think that's a fair deal."


Know how I know you haven't been laid off for an extended period of time with no job prospects in sight?
... Because that's how my gig goes. Thankfully, the salary's higher than that but it's just as ridiculous for my level of experience.
2013-04-25 01:48:53 PM
1 votes:
There are plenty of intelligent, well spoken, hard working high school and college graduates out there looking for jobs and finding nothing. The people using text speak in resumes and job applications, showing up late to interviews and reeking of weed, and demanding $65k a year as an entry level employee do not represent the majority of Millennials. Most of us are grateful to even have a job.
  Currently, I tutor high school students. Before that I worked at Rita's Ice, and before that I worked as a canvasser for a charity. All so I could afford to attend grad school and to eat. I have been working since I was sixteen. And to be perfectly honest, I would be overjoyed to be making $25k a year. I want a full time job. I want to be a functioning member of society. Hell, if I was able to I'd be in the Air Force by now(I broke my knee cap in the last semester of my undergraduate education).
  Please, stop tearing down an entire generation to cover up the tightwad nature of companies who are hoarding money, overworking their current employees, and searching for 'unicorn' candidates that magically appear fully trained in what ever field is needed.
2013-04-25 01:40:22 PM
1 votes:

SithLord: StickyBunBandit: How long before "Idiocracy" becomes reality?

We've already elected Obama, so there's that.


He's no Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho but I think we did well. The next one better be firing off assault rifles and constantly drinking though.

...maybe we should finally elect Palin.
2013-04-25 01:20:51 PM
1 votes:
On another note, I recently sent my third line manager (my bosses bosses boss) an email that began

Goof morning
2013-04-25 01:14:16 PM
1 votes:

PanicMan: Clearly this is all the fault of the young people.  In no way are their parents, the schools, or the media in any way culpable.


Cut that shiat. I had a weird and frightening childhood which seriously compromised my abilty to use a good mind in a school setting. It didn't matter. I read everything because I wanted to know everything. Nothing stands in the way of a mind that wants to learn. Kids these days don't even have to walk to the library. Maybe that's the problem - perhaps knowledge seems cheap.
2013-04-25 01:05:52 PM
1 votes:
Did you see the entire column of celebrity gossip on the right side of the page? Christ, there were pics of James van der Beek just pushing a baby stroller.  Hope Sylvester's getting over his dog getting killed.

/Wonder why the kids are vapid.
//OOOOoooh, shiny object!
2013-04-25 12:44:40 PM
1 votes:
What the applicants might look like:

i.telegraph.co.uk

What happened to you Great Britain?
2013-04-25 12:31:39 PM
1 votes:
Yeahhhh.... I always kind of wonder what the younger generation is thinking. "Imma gonna interview at a prestigious company, run by boomers, and Imma gonna wear my regular street clothes, lol". And they wonder why the can't get in anywhere but grease trap person at McDonalds.
2013-04-25 12:30:35 PM
1 votes:
This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.
2013-04-25 12:20:07 PM
1 votes:
So go down to your Job centre - I bet you'll see
Iranian students get handouts for free
and drug-crazed punk rockers cavort and caress
In the interview booths in the DHSS...
 
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