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(Daily Mail)   Winning: Dear Cir, do U have NE nice eZ jobs 4 me 2 do?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 174
    More: Sad, mr cameron, SMS language, mobile apps  
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17389 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Apr 2013 at 12:24 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



174 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-04-25 12:17:43 PM  
... and it's their fault if they fail at life.
 
2013-04-25 12:20:07 PM  
So go down to your Job centre - I bet you'll see
Iranian students get handouts for free
and drug-crazed punk rockers cavort and caress
In the interview booths in the DHSS...
 
2013-04-25 12:23:48 PM  
Inconceivable.

I wonder where they got their unrealistic expectations from.
 
2013-04-25 12:27:38 PM  
OMG, like Nuh UH really? UR so much 8er. Icanhasasad# UNFAIR!! FML etc.
 
2013-04-25 12:29:02 PM  
STFU, GAFAJ!
 
2013-04-25 12:29:35 PM  
Here's the actual report TFA talks about, since apparently they don't have enough tech-savvy young people who told them you should link to these things:  http://www.cipd.co.uk/publicpolicy/policy-reports/mars-venus-jobs-mis m atch.aspx
 
2013-04-25 12:30:14 PM  
*I haz inklooded piksure

i36.tinypic.com

Peggy McGee

--------------------------------------------------------------------- - --------------------

Dear Ms. McGee,

   We have spell check. Can you start tomorrow?


/Shamelessly stolen from FWD; fwd>>>.FWD.RE.FWD email
 
2013-04-25 12:30:25 PM  
Its the mail so it must be true.

I'm sure that its not a completely made up article designed to rouse the 30-50 year old rabble about "kids these days" while drawing page views and ad clicks.
 
2013-04-25 12:30:35 PM  
This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.
 
2013-04-25 12:30:43 PM  
I've heard the same thing regarding medical school applicants. Supposedly the newest generation of applicants lacks professionalism and appropriate interpersonal skills.
 
2013-04-25 12:31:06 PM  
It's like a fark breeding pool.
/that was mean
//and mostly untrue
///mostly
 
2013-04-25 12:31:22 PM  
I prefer hiring younger people, preferably college grads with little experience to bring into a company where they can start at a front-line position and if they show promise/ambition/drive, there are upwardly mobile options. Problem is, I have to go through 50 applications to find 5 that don't have egregious spelling mistakes, are in 6 different fonts or, my favorite, "Bachelors in Sociology from ::insert local university::, salary requirement: 65k+". Of those 5, 3 blow the phone interview because they obviously had someone write it for them. Then I have a choice of 2 to bring in to meet and HOPEFULLY they don't show up in jeans and a Seattle Mariner's jersey.

/Office has 96% of staff under 30, self included
 
2013-04-25 12:31:33 PM  

LandOfChocolate: Its the mail so it must be true.

I'm sure that its not a completely made up article designed to rouse the 30-50 year old rabble about "kids these days" while drawing page views and ad clicks.


/thread over
 
2013-04-25 12:31:39 PM  
Yeahhhh.... I always kind of wonder what the younger generation is thinking. "Imma gonna interview at a prestigious company, run by boomers, and Imma gonna wear my regular street clothes, lol". And they wonder why the can't get in anywhere but grease trap person at McDonalds.
 
2013-04-25 12:32:06 PM  
Meanwhile, I can't even find a job at the gas station around the corner.  Thanks, illiterate teens!

At least the fad of ~~~~AlTeRnAtInG CaPs AnD TiLdEs~~~~ died.
 
2013-04-25 12:32:13 PM  
Oh is it time for another Daily Fail "God I hate those lazy filthy scumsucking welfare queens so much, GOD I could just SMASH their FACES in, I HATE them I HATE them I HATE them" thread again?

/DNRTFA
 
2013-04-25 12:33:10 PM  

Kibbler: Oh is it time for another Daily Fail "God I hate those lazy filthy scumsucking welfare queens so much, GOD I could just SMASH their FACES in, I HATE them I HATE them I HATE them" thread again?

/DNRTFA


No.
 
2013-04-25 12:33:16 PM  

A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.


Go on...
 
2013-04-25 12:34:28 PM  

Kibbler: Oh is it time for another Daily Fail "God I hate those lazy filthy scumsucking welfare queens so much, GOD I could just SMASH their FACES in, I HATE them I HATE them I HATE them" thread again?

/DNRTFA


It's the requisite "kids these days are illiterate, etc".
 
2013-04-25 12:35:16 PM  

MichiganFTL: I prefer hiring younger people, preferably college grads with little experience to bring into a company where they can start at a front-line position and if they show promise/ambition/drive, there are upwardly mobile options. Problem is, I have to go through 50 applications to find 5 that don't have egregious spelling mistakes, are in 6 different fonts or, my favorite, "Bachelors in Sociology from ::insert local university::, salary requirement: 65k+". Of those 5, 3 blow the phone interview because they obviously had someone write it for them. Then I have a choice of 2 to bring in to meet and HOPEFULLY they don't show up in jeans and a Seattle Mariner's jersey.

/Office has 96% of staff under 30, self included


So you're not having trouble filling jobs, but there are just a lot of stupid people who apply and the signal to noise ratio is high?

blogs.browardpalmbeach.com
 
2013-04-25 12:35:48 PM  

pxlboy: Kibbler: Oh is it time for another Daily Fail "God I hate those lazy filthy scumsucking welfare queens so much, GOD I could just SMASH their FACES in, I HATE them I HATE them I HATE them" thread again?

/DNRTFA

It's the requisite "kids these days are illiterate, etc".


OK I stand corrected.  Trigger-happy I guess.
 
2013-04-25 12:36:40 PM  
Entire article in four words: GET OFF MY LAWN.
 
2013-04-25 12:37:00 PM  
Well, gee, what industries are glamorized all throughout public culture and have reporters consistently drooling over how much the top stars in those fields make?

Never mind that for every Angelina Jolie, there are 5,000 Constance Browns who you've never heard of, and largely work as waitresses.


But on the other side, can you blame the kiddies who dream of working in culture and sports?

Seeing that industry has largely shown itself to be exploitative of workers, in their salaries and work hours.

Seeing that government has shown itself to be more concerned over 'corporate wellbeing' rather than personal wellbeing?

Seeing that our culture largely ignores working up to something? (IE, you only get famous when you do something, and more often the media treats people like they were born perfectly formed-or discovered that way)


In short, try thinking about how you're shiatting on people's motivations before you go around complaining about their ambitions.
 
2013-04-25 12:37:12 PM  
speaknstomp.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-25 12:37:48 PM  

dv-ous: MichiganFTL: I prefer hiring younger people, preferably college grads with little experience to bring into a company where they can start at a front-line position and if they show promise/ambition/drive, there are upwardly mobile options. Problem is, I have to go through 50 applications to find 5 that don't have egregious spelling mistakes, are in 6 different fonts or, my favorite, "Bachelors in Sociology from ::insert local university::, salary requirement: 65k+". Of those 5, 3 blow the phone interview because they obviously had someone write it for them. Then I have a choice of 2 to bring in to meet and HOPEFULLY they don't show up in jeans and a Seattle Mariner's jersey.

/Office has 96% of staff under 30, self included

So you're not having trouble filling jobs, but there are just a lot of stupid people who apply and the signal to noise ratio is high?

[blogs.browardpalmbeach.com image 393x360]


The 'signal to noise' ratio is actually creating jobs. Manager's/Director's are having to waste so much time on sifting through the crap, companies are expanding/creating their recruiting departments sooner than normal to be able to weed through the crap.

Basic office jobs aren't hard to fill, skilled medical ones are a pain.
 
2013-04-25 12:39:13 PM  
The storey is definately not bias. People have spelling problem's and that's not the worse. They could of listed lot's of other things but their are mabey to many.

/shudder
 
2013-04-25 12:39:15 PM  
s10.postimg.org

Seems qualified
 
2013-04-25 12:39:38 PM  

MichiganFTL: I prefer hiring younger people, preferably college grads with little experience


FTFY

Best of luck with that.
 
2013-04-25 12:40:06 PM  
Many employers are desperate to recruit, but say they are confronted by candidates who apply for jobs in 'text speak' and cannot even turn up punctually for an interview, according to the report from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development.

What they really meant was, "It happened maybe once or twice that someone used text speak on a resume". Writing the sentence in that way indicates that it's a common and widespread problem. Which it isn't. Thank you, anonymous Daily Fail Reporter.

Many young people do not read or understand the eligibility criteria for the jobs they apply for, employers said.

If they don't understand a job description, it's largely because the company itself isn't doing a proper job explaining it. Companies often have generic job descriptions to give themselves flexibility as to massage the job to match a qualified candidate. Every company I've worked for does this. Companies expect you to walk into the door and ask what exactly the job entails, because the job description tells you fark-all about what you'll be doing on a daily basis.

Many have a 'poor knowledge' of the company that they are applying to work for, and appear to have failed to research their potential future employer.Others are 'unable to answer why they want the job and what they want to do.'

For somebody with no experience in a particular industry, what exactly do you expect? There's no way a kid fresh out of school can tell you what they'll think of the job, or how their career will progress in a field they haven't even entered yet. And why does anyone want a job, really? Because I don't want to be a farking bum, that's why you nitwit.
 
2013-04-25 12:42:07 PM  

midigod: MichiganFTL: I prefer hiring

younger people, preferably college grads with little experience

FTFY

Best of luck with that.


It's working out well so far buddy. It's easier to train people with no experience than to untrain people with bad habits. It's allowed us to move to 6 states and double our workforce in 12 months, so I'm sorry we don't fit into your 'doomed for failure' mold.
 
2013-04-25 12:42:08 PM  

MichiganFTL: I prefer hiring younger people, preferably college grads with little experience to bring into a company where they can start at a front-line position and if they show promise/ambition/drive, there are upwardly mobile options. Problem is, I have to go through 50 applications to find 5 that don't have egregious spelling mistakes, are in 6 different fonts or, my favorite, "Bachelors in Sociology from ::insert local university::, salary requirement: 65k+". Of those 5, 3 blow the phone interview because they obviously had someone write it for them. Then I have a choice of 2 to bring in to meet and HOPEFULLY they don't show up in jeans and a Seattle Mariner's jersey.

/Office has 96% of staff under 30, self included


My step-mother runs a company in DC and she has noticed a change over the 25 years she has run the place. New hires come in with fewer skills, and expect more for less work, and she does work with some very bright people.

Nowadays during their 6 month post-hire review about 70% of them list "being on time almost everyday" as a reason that they are valuable employees and deserve a pay bump.

/she offered me a job out of college. I told her even though I would have been a good fit, I didn't want people thinking nepotism was the only reason I was hired.
//then the economy collapsed
///still kicking myself
 
2013-04-25 12:43:04 PM  
"Well, the world needs ditch diggers too!"

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-25 12:44:20 PM  
I don't care what the fad or trend or how much time passes and how "advanced" our culture gets.
I, nor my company, will never hire you if you come in tattoo'd, pierced multiple times in places other than your ears, if your hair is more than one color, or if it's in a mowhawk or some other outrageous cut...
OR...if you think dressing in 70's style polyester clothing complete with WHITE shoes, WHITE belt is cool and hip. Same thing if you wear skinny suits or farkin sandals to the interview.
You don't get our jobs!!!
 
2013-04-25 12:44:40 PM  
What the applicants might look like:

i.telegraph.co.uk

What happened to you Great Britain?
 
2013-04-25 12:44:45 PM  
So, 15 and 16 year old kids want jobs in popular culture?  Color me surprised and spank my bottom!
 
2013-04-25 12:46:06 PM  
A few years ago I managed a store, and while the resumes were fine, the cover letters were an abomination. I recall a couple of "thnx," and "@." Mind you, I think that reality TV is a bigger influence on young people. The whole easy lifestyle and high drama is pretty common. One girl in an interview referred to her "babydaddy." I ended up hiring an old lady in her 60's solely based on the fact she could formulate a sentence.
 
2013-04-25 12:46:10 PM  

radarlove: Meanwhile, I can't even find a job at the gas station around the corner.  Thanks, illiterate teens!

At least the fad of ~~~~AlTeRnAtInG CaPs AnD TiLdEs~~~~ died.


No, now it's all #hastags

#OMG#I#cant#believe#you#didnt#know#that#job#life#wut#lol
 
2013-04-25 12:51:45 PM  
Clearly this is all the fault of the young people.  In no way are their parents, the schools, or the media in any way culpable.
 
2013-04-25 12:54:15 PM  
Lankester was right, we are going the wrong way.
 
2013-04-25 12:54:46 PM  

tortilla burger: Many employers are desperate to recruit, but say they are confronted by candidates who apply for jobs in 'text speak' and cannot even turn up punctually for an interview, according to the report from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development.

What they really meant was, "It happened maybe once or twice that someone used text speak on a resume". Writing the sentence in that way indicates that it's a common and widespread problem. Which it isn't. Thank you, anonymous Daily Fail Reporter.

Many young people do not read or understand the eligibility criteria for the jobs they apply for, employers said.

If they don't understand a job description, it's largely because the company itself isn't doing a proper job explaining it. Companies often have generic job descriptions to give themselves flexibility as to massage the job to match a qualified candidate. Every company I've worked for does this. Companies expect you to walk into the door and ask what exactly the job entails, because the job description tells you fark-all about what you'll be doing on a daily basis.

Many have a 'poor knowledge' of the company that they are applying to work for, and appear to have failed to research their potential future employer.Others are 'unable to answer why they want the job and what they want to do.'

For somebody with no experience in a particular industry, what exactly do you expect? There's no way a kid fresh out of school can tell you what they'll think of the job, or how their career will progress in a field they haven't even entered yet. And why does anyone want a job, really? Because I don't want to be a farking bum, that's why you nitwit.


No, but it doesn't take a genius to Google the name of the company at which they are going in  for an
interview. Maybe learn a little bit about their backstory, get a feel for the tenor of the company, etc...and
actually give some thought as to how their personality and skills can fit into that scope.
 
2013-04-25 12:55:04 PM  
Media as in "standing in front of a camera (or, more desirably, sitting at an anchor desk), reading verbatim what was recently posted online by ESPN, Google or Yahoo.  An understanding of the words coming out of their mouth is highly optional."  And a new batch of them are due out after graduation next month.
 
2013-04-25 12:55:56 PM  

Phony_Soldier: A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.

Go on...


I hire people. Many people who apply for jobs are idiots, as described in the article. Idiots are not amusing.
 
2013-04-25 12:57:17 PM  

MichiganFTL: dv-ous: MichiganFTL: I prefer hiring younger people, preferably college grads with little experience to bring into a company where they can start at a front-line position and if they show promise/ambition/drive, there are upwardly mobile options. Problem is, I have to go through 50 applications to find 5 that don't have egregious spelling mistakes, are in 6 different fonts or, my favorite, "Bachelors in Sociology from ::insert local university::, salary requirement: 65k+". Of those 5, 3 blow the phone interview because they obviously had someone write it for them. Then I have a choice of 2 to bring in to meet and HOPEFULLY they don't show up in jeans and a Seattle Mariner's jersey.

/Office has 96% of staff under 30, self included

So you're not having trouble filling jobs, but there are just a lot of stupid people who apply and the signal to noise ratio is high?

[blogs.browardpalmbeach.com image 393x360]

The 'signal to noise' ratio is actually creating jobs. Manager's/Director's are having to waste so much time on sifting through the crap, companies are expanding/creating their recruiting departments sooner than normal to be able to weed through the crap.

Basic office jobs aren't hard to fill, skilled medical ones are a pain.


Waste destroys jobs; it does not create them.
 
2013-04-25 12:58:28 PM  
OMG DLOD AT A SBBQ PMC LOL
 
2013-04-25 12:58:28 PM  
The beauty of this of course is that if you can speak well, spell, can dress nicely, and not look like a walking hardware store, you will be shoved up to the front of the line when you go to get a job.
 
2013-04-25 01:00:56 PM  
I used to do hiring for a company.  I hated it.  Most people, you call, offering a job interview, they're happy and excited.  Some act like it's an honor for me to even speak to them, and want the job interview over the phone.  The interviews were fun, mostly.  Some applications were horrible.  Anyone with text speak on their application were given the five minute and out the door interview.  Anyone who answered their phone during the interview was also shown the door.

Worse applicant ever: She was a felon, and I asked her about her felony.  She explained to me that her husband and been abusing her kids, both physically and sexually, and she had turned a blind eye to it, but when the police finally got involved, her husband sold her out as well and she spent some time in prison for it, but her husband was still in prison and was eagerly awaiting his release.  I asked "He did that to your children, and you ignored it, and are still married to him and can't wait for him to get out?"  I then ended the interview and told her get out.
 
2013-04-25 01:00:57 PM  
I find this hard to BeLiEvE.
 
2013-04-25 01:02:39 PM  
I just went through this. I tried to hire a data entry person and the most of the replies I got lacked a resume and then the ones I did contact by phone interview spent most of the call telling me what they needed (eg. two weeks off to vacation with the family, different hours than what I was offering etc...) I cancelled the opening.
 
2013-04-25 01:05:52 PM  
Did you see the entire column of celebrity gossip on the right side of the page? Christ, there were pics of James van der Beek just pushing a baby stroller.  Hope Sylvester's getting over his dog getting killed.

/Wonder why the kids are vapid.
//OOOOoooh, shiny object!
 
2013-04-25 01:05:56 PM  

pxlboy: LandOfChocolate: Its the mail so it must be true.

I'm sure that its not a completely made up article designed to rouse the 30-50 year old rabble about "kids these days" while drawing page views and ad clicks.

/thread over


THIS

Unless you actually read the document that Arkanaut linked to.  Then the Daily Mail is pretty much correct.
 
2013-04-25 01:06:45 PM  
Who thinks that this is new? Finding literate employees has been an issue for as long as I remember. I managed a record department at an electronics retailer and I remember a guy in the late 70s who brought his girlfriend to an interview, kept his arm around her the whole time, and when I left the room for a moment they were making out. Idiocy among the 20 somethings and under isn't new.
 
2013-04-25 01:08:07 PM  

Grapple: radarlove: Meanwhile, I can't even find a job at the gas station around the corner.  Thanks, illiterate teens!

At least the fad of ~~~~AlTeRnAtInG CaPs AnD TiLdEs~~~~ died.

No, now it's all #hastags

#OMG#I#cant#believe#you#didnt#know#that#job#life#wut#lol



#FromNowOn #IVow #AllMyTweets will be #OnlyHashtags. #WithLuck #WeCan #OverWhelmTheSystem and #PutAnEnd to #AllThisSillyness
 
2013-04-25 01:09:15 PM  

A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.


Sadly, this.
My company is 98% recent undergraduates OR "university co-ops" ... The latter is some kind of Canadian slang I don't completely understand. Intern, maybe? Forget emails with any kind of proper punctuation or, hell, sentence structure.

.... Don't get me started on the hundreds of emails I get a day that simply say "see attchged". WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?! WHY?! And where is your spell check?!
 
2013-04-25 01:09:49 PM  
My company sent me a girl that is going to be a singer, dancer, actress, own a studio, a salon, a production company and restuarants. She cant even scan a barcode right or show up on time. I brought up the fact that how is she going to do all that stuff if she cant even show up on time and do a simple job here. Her response is "Well I want to do those jobs.".

Last year my roomate was "dating" a guy that wouldnt just get "any job" he had a list of demands that needed to be met. When I heard them I had a nice laugh. He had about a sememster of college, not really any other skill and wanted starting pay of $60k. I guess you can wait for that dream job when you live with your mom.

But I have seen some hope in the younger folks I've helped to promote three that come to work and, get ready for the shocker, work. Dont get much gripes from them other than they get bored when its slow. So Ive trained them to do parts of my job. One day I came in and they took it upon themselves to clean the vans out. The boss saw the mess left by the drivers and went off on them.
 
2013-04-25 01:10:49 PM  

PanicMan: Clearly this is all the fault of the young people.  In no way are their parents, the schools, or the media in any way culpable.


When I was in school (I graduated in 1997), we used a form of short hand for notes to each other as well as for taking notes.  In many ways it could be seen as the grandfather of text speech (C.U.L8r for example, or using 4 to mean four, for or fore, so one and so forth).  My teachers made it clear that essays (not just in English, but in all classes) were to be written with everything properly spelled out, and some even went so far as to explain that when filling out a job application, abbreviations were rarely accepted, so our short hand wasn't going to be accepted either.  I did an essay in the 9th grade for a science class assignment and my dad found it before I turned it in and told me to sit down and redo it.  Some of the things he pointed out was "Say 'Half way through...' and not '1/2 way through...'." and others, but that was honestly the only part I remember.

Maybe I was the exception.  Maybe the school I went to in Texas did a better job than other locations of teaching students when it isn't acceptable to use any form of text speech.  Maybe I had parents who were odd for not wanting me to sound like an idiot when I wrote.  Maybe I was odd for remembering what I was taught in school and by my parents and not pointlessly using text speech on important things like job applications.
 
2013-04-25 01:11:28 PM  
Most people are idiots and unqualified for most non-menial jobs. News at 11.
 
2013-04-25 01:12:42 PM  

Great Janitor


I used to do hiring for a company. I hated it. Most people, you call, offering a job interview, they're happy and excited. Some act like it's an honor for me to even speak to them, and want the job interview over the phone. The interviews were fun, mostly. Some applications were horrible. Anyone with text speak on their application were given the five minute and out the door interview.


I'm curious: why would you take the time to interview them at all? The odds of success seem fairly low.
 
2013-04-25 01:13:39 PM  
They learned their communication skills by reading the comments on YouTube?
 
2013-04-25 01:14:16 PM  

PanicMan: Clearly this is all the fault of the young people.  In no way are their parents, the schools, or the media in any way culpable.


Cut that shiat. I had a weird and frightening childhood which seriously compromised my abilty to use a good mind in a school setting. It didn't matter. I read everything because I wanted to know everything. Nothing stands in the way of a mind that wants to learn. Kids these days don't even have to walk to the library. Maybe that's the problem - perhaps knowledge seems cheap.
 
2013-04-25 01:15:09 PM  
Everybody knows the best EZ job is being the guy inside the RedBox DVD machines ! You get a TV,  and a fridge and all you have to do is push DVDs out the slot !   Just knock on one and yell loudly to them that you want a job over and over again and they will push an application out the slot for you.
 
2013-04-25 01:15:26 PM  

iheartscotch: Imma gonna wear my regular street clothes


Boomers wear their regular street clothes to work, why shouldn't everyone else?
 
2013-04-25 01:19:30 PM  

Teknowaffle: 70% of them list "being on time almost everyday" as a reason that they are valuable employees


The article just said that a significant proportion of applicants can't show up on time. Either it's an important skill that contributes to their value as an employee or you don't get to whine about it when they don't show up on time.
 
2013-04-25 01:20:51 PM  
On another note, I recently sent my third line manager (my bosses bosses boss) an email that began

Goof morning
 
2013-04-25 01:21:30 PM  
Partner works in HR at a newspaper.  Get about 20 CV's for the "Arts" section every day.

/everyone and their dog has a degree in communications now.
 
2013-04-25 01:21:46 PM  
Many employers are desperate to recruit, but say they are confronted by candidates who apply for jobs in 'text speak' and cannot even turn up punctually for an interview, according to the report from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development.

god forbid those employers hire anyone for more than minimum wage because it's surprising just how little you get in return for how little you pay them or how little you paid in taxes for their education.

god forbid those employers hire an adult that has expectations of a real living wage in exchange for decades of experience.

They know what they're doing, I say let 'em crash
 
2013-04-25 01:21:47 PM  
Had to poke around Google for a bit but I found the original report: http://www.educationandemployers.org/media/18037/nothing_in_common_fi n al.pdf

/Article fails at citing sources
 
2013-04-25 01:22:41 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: Great Janitor

I used to do hiring for a company. I hated it. Most people, you call, offering a job interview, they're happy and excited. Some act like it's an honor for me to even speak to them, and want the job interview over the phone. The interviews were fun, mostly. Some applications were horrible. Anyone with text speak on their application were given the five minute and out the door interview.


I'm curious: why would you take the time to interview them at all? The odds of success seem fairly low.


The first time that happened, I pointed to the application and resume, both in text speech, and I told her that I would reschedule, had a busy day full of meetings, apologized and asked her to leave.  She called for a week straight trying to get that interview rescheduled.  I told her that the position had been filled, her Weeners was "Was it because I'm black?"  So I decided from that point forward, interview everyone who showed up, a quick five minute interview and saying "If we decide to hire you, we'll call you."  is a better way of doing things than just kicking them out the door.  Plus, that five minute interview was the fun one when I knew I wasn't going to be hiring that person: "So, what can you bring to this company that others can't?"  "Why was your first job at 17 and not at 16?"  "Pretend that I'm a deaf Eskimo, using only words, sell me on yellow snow.  I know this isn't a sales position, but I need to know your customer service and ability to up sell."
 
2013-04-25 01:23:22 PM  

profplump


The article just said that a significant proportion of applicants can't show up on time. Either it's an important skill that contributes to their value as an employee or you don't get to whine about it when they don't show up on time.


It must be difficult to walk around with pants on your head.
 
2013-04-25 01:24:16 PM  

jonewer: On another note, I recently sent my third line manager (my bosses bosses boss's boss's boss) an email that began

Goof morning


FTFY
 
2013-04-25 01:25:32 PM  

MichiganFTL: It's working out well so far buddy. It's easier to train people with no experience than to untrain people with bad habits. It's allowed us to move to 6 states and double our workforce in 12 months, so I'm sorry we don't fit into your 'doomed for failure' mold.


I'm not your buddy, pal.  However, I'm glad that your business is so successful that you don't care how much it costs to train people, and that you don't care what happens to them after you spend all that time and money training them.  Since you have virtually no one employed at your business who is over 30, they must move on pretty quickly.
 
2013-04-25 01:28:22 PM  

Great Janitor


The first time that happened, I pointed to the application and resume, both in text speech, and I told her that I would reschedule, had a busy day full of meetings, apologized and asked her to leave. She called for a week straight trying to get that interview rescheduled. I told her that the position had been filled, her Weeners was "Was it because I'm black?"


Ah, so people show up in person to apply? I was thinking you received resumes via email and was wondering why you would bring them on-site when their stuff was all txty.


So I decided from that point forward, interview everyone who showed up, a quick five minute interview and saying "If we decide to hire you, we'll call you." is a better way of doing things than just kicking them out the door. Plus, that five minute interview was the fun one when I knew I wasn't going to be hiring that person: "So, what can you bring to this company that others can't?" "Why was your first job at 17 and not at 16?" "Pretend that I'm a deaf Eskimo, using only words, sell me on yellow snow. I know this isn't a sales position, but I need to know your customer service and ability to up sell."


That made sense for a little while and then it turned kind of weird.
 
2013-04-25 01:33:24 PM  

profplump: iheartscotch: Imma gonna wear my regular street clothes

Boomers wear their regular street clothes to work, why shouldn't everyone else?


Regular street clothes for boomers consist of a button-down shirt, dress slacks and dress shoes, possibly a tie. If you wear that stuff regularly; you'll be alright. I'm just saying you might want to save your favorite MEGADEATH shirt for some other time.
 
2013-04-25 01:34:21 PM  

profplump: Teknowaffle: 70% of them list "being on time almost everyday" as a reason that they are valuable employees

The article just said that a significant proportion of applicants can't show up on time. Either it's an important skill that contributes to their value as an employee or you don't get to whine about it when they don't show up on time.


She was saying that back when she founded her company, that was just something you did, and didn't expect a farking cookie for it.

Perhaps you didn't understand my post was a CSB
 
2013-04-25 01:34:40 PM  
like when Cousin Eddie is still unemployed because he's holding out for a management position.
 
2013-04-25 01:36:09 PM  
How long before "Idiocracy" becomes reality?
 
2013-04-25 01:37:10 PM  
Sometimes I wonder about where people were led wrong growing up as to what is appropriate behavior for applying for and keeping jobs. I know that I've managed to walk into several interviews and leave with a job offer simply because I showed up in a suit and was well-spoken and literate throughout. Having a high-end skill set and design experience certainly helps but doesn't mean a thing if I were to show up looking like a hobolo.

I also like Friday's, I put on a full suit and tie for Friday as the reactions are usually hilarious.
 
2013-04-25 01:38:19 PM  

StickyBunBandit: How long before "Idiocracy" becomes reality?


We've already elected Obama, so there's that.
 
2013-04-25 01:38:41 PM  

natmar_76: I've heard the same thing regarding medical school applicants. Supposedly the newest generation of applicants lacks professionalism and appropriate interpersonal skills.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-25 01:40:22 PM  

SithLord: StickyBunBandit: How long before "Idiocracy" becomes reality?

We've already elected Obama, so there's that.


He's no Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho but I think we did well. The next one better be firing off assault rifles and constantly drinking though.

...maybe we should finally elect Palin.
 
2013-04-25 01:41:42 PM  
When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.
 
2013-04-25 01:45:49 PM  
While this is an actual issue, the "casualization" of the workplace is definitely a contributing factor. I remember showing up for an interview to work as an order picker at a cold storage warehouse one summer. I wore a sweater over an oxford with some chinos and boots. The receptionist had on jeans and a sweatshirt.

Also remember the person teaching me during orientation saying that turnover was ridiculously high. I suggested he post the opening on the state's service for the unemployed as it's an awesome resource. Said he'd never heard of it. I also suggested that the high starting wage was attractive, but probably not enough to keep someone around with the deluge of overtime hours (70+ weeks were common) people had to work. He was completely dismissive and scoffed at the idea. I left after not getting a single weekend day off (Like I was scheduled to.) for 3 weeks. When browsing for jobs in the winter break, they were listed on the service I recommended with a higher wage. Just kind of a slap in the face after being mistreated pretty badly by the business.
 
2013-04-25 01:45:53 PM  
Englebert Slaptyback: Great Janitor

The first time that happened, I pointed to the application and resume, both in text speech, and I told her that I would reschedule, had a busy day full of meetings, apologized and asked her to leave. She called for a week straight trying to get that interview rescheduled. I told her that the position had been filled, her Weeners was "Was it because I'm black?"


Ah, so people show up in person to apply? I was thinking you received resumes via email and was wondering why you would bring them on-site when their stuff was all txty..


Most of the time I would find them on Monster or other resume websites and call them in for an interview.  Fun fact: Only about a quarter of the people called in for interviews actually show up.  


So I decided from that point forward, interview everyone who showed up, a quick five minute interview and saying "If we decide to hire you, we'll call you." is a better way of doing things than just kicking them out the door. Plus, that five minute interview was the fun one when I knew I wasn't going to be hiring that person: "So, what can you bring to this company that others can't?" "Why was your first job at 17 and not at 16?" "Pretend that I'm a deaf Eskimo, using only words, sell me on yellow snow. I know this isn't a sales position, but I need to know your customer service and ability to up sell."


That made sense for a little while and then it turned kind of weird.


I would do that so they wouldn't even consider reapplying.

One person I said "Okay, this position pays $19,760 a year salaried."  (that's $9.50/hour and the position wasn't salaried, no one worked over time in over three years).  The applicant shook his head.  "And do you have any problems working 60 hours a week salaried?"  The applicant said "No."  I said "Now, salaried means no over time, no extra money.  Your pay doesn't go up that week because you worked 60 hours instead of 40, and we're going to require at least 55 hours a week, but that $9.50 is only based on a 40 hour work week.  Is that okay?"  The applicant said "Yes."  I said "Now, to make this perfectly clear, if you take the job you can't complain that you are basically working 40 hours at $9.50 and 20 for free, because for those 20 hours on the 60 hour work weeks, you aren't getting any extra money.  We will expect you to work seven days a week.  That means you aren't getting paid for the weekends that we will expect you to work.  Are you fine with this?"  And he said "Yes."  I said, "I'm sorry, you're too dumb to work here if you think that's a fair deal."
 
2013-04-25 01:48:53 PM  
There are plenty of intelligent, well spoken, hard working high school and college graduates out there looking for jobs and finding nothing. The people using text speak in resumes and job applications, showing up late to interviews and reeking of weed, and demanding $65k a year as an entry level employee do not represent the majority of Millennials. Most of us are grateful to even have a job.
  Currently, I tutor high school students. Before that I worked at Rita's Ice, and before that I worked as a canvasser for a charity. All so I could afford to attend grad school and to eat. I have been working since I was sixteen. And to be perfectly honest, I would be overjoyed to be making $25k a year. I want a full time job. I want to be a functioning member of society. Hell, if I was able to I'd be in the Air Force by now(I broke my knee cap in the last semester of my undergraduate education).
  Please, stop tearing down an entire generation to cover up the tightwad nature of companies who are hoarding money, overworking their current employees, and searching for 'unicorn' candidates that magically appear fully trained in what ever field is needed.
 
2013-04-25 01:50:35 PM  

Great Janitor: I said, "I'm sorry, you're too dumb to work here if you think that's a fair deal."


Know how I know you haven't been laid off for an extended period of time with no job prospects in sight?
... Because that's how my gig goes. Thankfully, the salary's higher than that but it's just as ridiculous for my level of experience.
 
2013-04-25 01:52:10 PM  

Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.


Yeah, I would have left too, muttering "thank God I didn't wind up working for that asshole...".

/lighten up, francis
 
2013-04-25 01:53:05 PM  

barefoot in the head: PanicMan: Clearly this is all the fault of the young people.  In no way are their parents, the schools, or the media in any way culpable.

Cut that shiat. I had a weird and frightening childhood which seriously compromised my abilty to use a good mind in a school setting. It didn't matter. I read everything because I wanted to know everything. Nothing stands in the way of a mind that wants to learn. Kids these days don't even have to walk to the library. Maybe that's the problem - perhaps knowledge seems cheap.


Good for you.  Honestly.  I had the same thing and did the same thing.  But you and I are the exceptions, not the norm on this issue. You assume kids have a library within safe walking distance.  Or know where the library is.  Or have free time to go read.
 
2013-04-25 02:00:31 PM  

tortilla burger: Many employers are desperate to recruit, but say they are confronted by candidates who apply for jobs in 'text speak' and cannot even turn up punctually for an interview, according to the report from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development.

What they really meant was, "It happened maybe once or twice that someone used text speak on a resume". Writing the sentence in that way indicates that it's a common and widespread problem. Which it isn't. Thank you, anonymous Daily Fail Reporter.

Many young people do not read or understand the eligibility criteria for the jobs they apply for, employers said.

If they don't understand a job description, it's largely because the company itself isn't doing a proper job explaining it. Companies often have generic job descriptions to give themselves flexibility as to massage the job to match a qualified candidate. Every company I've worked for does this. Companies expect you to walk into the door and ask what exactly the job entails, because the job description tells you fark-all about what you'll be doing on a daily basis.

Many have a 'poor knowledge' of the company that they are applying to work for, and appear to have failed to research their potential future employer.Others are 'unable to answer why they want the job and what they want to do.'

For somebody with no experience in a particular industry, what exactly do you expect? There's no way a kid fresh out of school can tell you what they'll think of the job, or how their career will progress in a field they haven't even entered yet. And why does anyone want a job, really? Because I don't want to be a farking bum, that's why you nitwit.


That last sentence is so true.  I overhear interviewers ask "Why do you want to work at McDonald's?"  The only conceivable answer is "for the money."  Wanting to work a particular job comes with training and experience.
 
2013-04-25 02:00:43 PM  

Kirzania: Great Janitor: I said, "I'm sorry, you're too dumb to work here if you think that's a fair deal."

Know how I know you haven't been laid off for an extended period of time with no job prospects in sight?
... Because that's how my gig goes. Thankfully, the salary's higher than that but it's just as ridiculous for my level of experience.


I've worked hourly, I've worked commission, I've worked hourly plus commission.  I've never worked salaried, and I never will.  My point of view is that if you're in a job and they are working you for 60 hours, you should be paid for all 60, with 20 at time and a half.  My last corporate level job the salaried people were paid their flat salaries and nothing more, but were expected to put in at least 50 hours.  I'm sorry, that's wrong.
 
2013-04-25 02:01:37 PM  

SithLord: StickyBunBandit: How long before "Idiocracy" becomes reality?

We've already elected Obama, so there's that.


And if he has his way, this country will have 100% unemployment, so hiring will no longer be an issue!  YAY
 
2013-04-25 02:12:27 PM  

Great Janitor: Englebert Slaptyback: Great Janitor

The first time that happened, I pointed to the application and resume, both in text speech, and I told her that I would reschedule, had a busy day full of meetings, apologized and asked her to leave. She called for a week straight trying to get that interview rescheduled. I told her that the position had been filled, her Weeners was "Was it because I'm black?"


Ah, so people show up in person to apply? I was thinking you received resumes via email and was wondering why you would bring them on-site when their stuff was all txty..

Most of the time I would find them on Monster or other resume websites and call them in for an interview.  Fun fact: Only about a quarter of the people called in for interviews actually show up.


So I decided from that point forward, interview everyone who showed up, a quick five minute interview and saying "If we decide to hire you, we'll call you." is a better way of doing things than just kicking them out the door. Plus, that five minute interview was the fun one when I knew I wasn't going to be hiring that person: "So, what can you bring to this company that others can't?" "Why was your first job at 17 and not at 16?" "Pretend that I'm a deaf Eskimo, using only words, sell me on yellow snow. I know this isn't a sales position, but I need to know your customer service and ability to up sell."


That made sense for a little while and then it turned kind of weird.

I would do that so they wouldn't even consider reapplying.

One person I said "Okay, this position pays $19,760 a year salaried."  (that's $9.50/hour and the position wasn't salaried, no one worked over time in over three years).  The applicant shook his head.  "And do you have any problems working 60 hours a week salaried?"  The applicant said "No."  I said "Now, salaried means no over time, no extra money.  Your pay doesn't go up that week because you worked 60 hours instead of 40, and we're going to require at least 55 hours a week, bu ...


That person may just be desperate, or stuffed with advice that says "Say yes to your ability to meet any unreasonable demand placed on you, even if you cannot."  Also, in my state's bad economy, it's not that uncommon for a salaried person to work so many hours that the pay works out to less than minimum wage -- and you know what happens if you complain to the Wages and Hours people.
 
2013-04-25 02:16:07 PM  
FTA:
"Young people have 'unrealistic expectations' of the job market - with most saying they only want a job if it is in popular culture, media or sport, a damning report reveals today."

Later in same article:
"It cited research, from the charity the Education and Employers' Taskforce, which found one in five teenagers aged 15 and 16 want to work in culture, media and sports."

Apparently, most of these kids are ending up with careers in journalism.
 
2013-04-25 02:16:15 PM  

Lemurknits: There are plenty of intelligent, well spoken, hard working high school and college graduates out there looking for jobs and finding nothing. The people using text speak in resumes and job applications, showing up late to interviews and reeking of weed, and demanding $65k a year as an entry level employee do not represent the majority of Millennials. Most of us are grateful to even have a job.
  Currently, I tutor high school students. Before that I worked at Rita's Ice, and before that I worked as a canvasser for a charity. All so I could afford to attend grad school and to eat. I have been working since I was sixteen. And to be perfectly honest, I would be overjoyed to be making $25k a year. I want a full time job. I want to be a functioning member of society. Hell, if I was able to I'd be in the Air Force by now(I broke my knee cap in the last semester of my undergraduate education).
  Please, stop tearing down an entire generation to cover up the tightwad nature of companies who are hoarding money, overworking their current employees, and searching for 'unicorn' candidates that magically appear fully trained in what ever field is needed.


I'll add to that:

Attention companies!!! - Jobs paying $30K-$35K with benefits that start 90-180 days after you've been there, that require 2-4 years experience and a bachelors degree is not "entry level"...that's called a shiatty job with piss poor pay.
 
2013-04-25 02:18:41 PM  

PanicMan: barefoot in the head: PanicMan: Clearly this is all the fault of the young people.  In no way are their parents, the schools, or the media in any way culpable.

Cut that shiat. I had a weird and frightening childhood which seriously compromised my abilty to use a good mind in a school setting. It didn't matter. I read everything because I wanted to know everything. Nothing stands in the way of a mind that wants to learn. Kids these days don't even have to walk to the library. Maybe that's the problem - perhaps knowledge seems cheap.

Good for you.  Honestly.  I had the same thing and did the same thing.  But you and I are the exceptions, not the norm on this issue. You assume kids have a library within safe walking distance.  Or know where the library is.  Or have free time to go read.


Glad you overcame it to whatever extent it can be overcome. My point was that the internet makes the walk to the library irrelevant in terms of access to knowlegde, but might cheapen the overall value of information, due to the very ease of access. if u cn txt, u cn search - but you must care enough to learn.
 
2013-04-25 02:21:38 PM  

Endive Wombat: Lemurknits: There are plenty of intelligent, well spoken, hard working high school and college graduates out there looking for jobs and finding nothing. The people using text speak in resumes and job applications, showing up late to interviews and reeking of weed, and demanding $65k a year as an entry level employee do not represent the majority of Millennials. Most of us are grateful to even have a job.
  Currently, I tutor high school students. Before that I worked at Rita's Ice, and before that I worked as a canvasser for a charity. All so I could afford to attend grad school and to eat. I have been working since I was sixteen. And to be perfectly honest, I would be overjoyed to be making $25k a year. I want a full time job. I want to be a functioning member of society. Hell, if I was able to I'd be in the Air Force by now(I broke my knee cap in the last semester of my undergraduate education).
  Please, stop tearing down an entire generation to cover up the tightwad nature of companies who are hoarding money, overworking their current employees, and searching for 'unicorn' candidates that magically appear fully trained in what ever field is needed.

I'll add to that:

Attention companies!!! - Jobs paying $30K-$35K with benefits that start 90-180 days after you've been there, that require 2-4 years experience and a bachelors degree is not "entry level"...that's called a shiatty job with piss poor pay.


And don't forget the utterly bizarre rules some enforce. For instance, I applied to work for a non-profit that works to end greyhound racing. I didn't know until the interview that the entire office was vegan. All lunches brought in had to be vegan. The ever living hell?
 
2013-04-25 02:23:37 PM  

Endive Wombat: "You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."


I'm not applying for Monday tasks. I was ummm....applying for the Thurs-Sun waiter position, ...'kay?.
 
2013-04-25 02:43:48 PM  

AGremlin: What the applicants might look like:

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x288]

What happened to you Great Britain?


Socialized Medicine, you have been warned America.
 
2013-04-25 02:46:03 PM  

Great Janitor: Englebert Slaptyback: Great Janitor

The first time that happened, I pointed to the application and resume, both in text speech, and I told her that I would reschedule, had a busy day full of meetings, apologized and asked her to leave. She called for a week straight trying to get that interview rescheduled. I told her that the position had been filled, her Weeners was "Was it because I'm black?"


Ah, so people show up in person to apply? I was thinking you received resumes via email and was wondering why you would bring them on-site when their stuff was all txty..

Most of the time I would find them on Monster or other resume websites and call them in for an interview.  Fun fact: Only about a quarter of the people called in for interviews actually show up.  


So I decided from that point forward, interview everyone who showed up, a quick five minute interview and saying "If we decide to hire you, we'll call you." is a better way of doing things than just kicking them out the door. Plus, that five minute interview was the fun one when I knew I wasn't going to be hiring that person: "So, what can you bring to this company that others can't?" "Why was your first job at 17 and not at 16?" "Pretend that I'm a deaf Eskimo, using only words, sell me on yellow snow. I know this isn't a sales position, but I need to know your customer service and ability to up sell."


That made sense for a little while and then it turned kind of weird.

I would do that so they wouldn't even consider reapplying.

One person I said "Okay, this position pays $19,760 a year salaried."  (that's $9.50/hour and the position wasn't salaried, no one worked over time in over three years).  The applicant shook his head.  "And do you have any problems working 60 hours a week salaried?"  The applicant said "No."  I said "Now, salaried means no over time, no extra money.  Your pay doesn't go up that week because you worked 60 hours instead of 40, and we're going to require at least 55 hours a week, but that $9.50 is only based on a 40 hour work week.  Is that okay?"  The applicant said "Yes."  I said "Now, to make this perfectly clear, if you take the job you can't complain that you are basically working 40 hours at $9.50 and 20 for free, because for those 20 hours on the 60 hour work weeks, you aren't getting any extra money.  We will expect you to work seven days a week.  That means you aren't getting paid for the weekends that we will expect you to work.  Are you fine with this?"  And he said "Yes."  I said, "I'm sorry, you're too dumb to work here if you think that's a fair deal."


Wow you're an ass. Maybe this guy was desperate. I was unemployed for half of last year and I would have taken anything with any kind of paycheck to feed my family and pay my mortgage. I did get a lousy part time job that I was happy to get and was able to pay for food, unfortunately not the mortgage.

Think before you make assumptions and try to make an ass out of somebody, you don't know their situation.
 
2013-04-25 02:51:56 PM  

Lemurknits: And don't forget the utterly bizarre rules some enforce. For instance, I applied to work for a non-profit that works to end greyhound racing. I didn't know until the interview that the entire office was vegan. All lunches brought in had to be vegan. The ever living hell?


...Do they know what dogs eat?
 
2013-04-25 03:01:13 PM  
I call shenanigans on that sample text message. This article was written from a British point of view, right? Well, why would they write "eZ" in a text message when they would pronounce that "ee zed" and not "easy"?

BUSTED!

/Oh yeah, I'm on fire!
 
2013-04-25 03:07:51 PM  

YixilTesiphon: Lemurknits: And don't forget the utterly bizarre rules some enforce. For instance, I applied to work for a non-profit that works to end greyhound racing. I didn't know until the interview that the entire office was vegan. All lunches brought in had to be vegan. The ever living hell?

...Do they know what dogs eat?


They should- they have an office greyhound. Poor thing didn't even lift its head off the pillow so it must have been one of those sad dogs that are forced to be vegan by their humans.

/grew up with dogs
//now own a cat
///ALL get real meat
 
2013-04-25 03:08:38 PM  

Lemurknits: They should- they have an office greyhound. Poor thing didn't even lift its head off the pillow so it must have been one of those sad dogs that are forced to be vegan by their humans.


That's horrible.
 
2013-04-25 03:21:58 PM  
As a job searcher, one thing I find frustrating is posting my resume to job boards, and getting spammed with interview requests by companies I didn't apply for, for jobs in positions I'm not applying for (mostly sales), and for pay FAR below what I need to make a living anyway.  And I echo the comments about "Entry level" jobs that require 4-year degrees and 2-4 years experience.  That's not entry level.  Entry level means no experience.  A 2-year degree if necessary for some jobs, but it's not entry level.  It's so exceptionally frustrating to find job postings that sound like good deals, then the HR person says "yeah, we were only offering in the range of $11-14/hour, and this job is in [insert city 50 miles away]".  I'm sorry, but if you want me to take a job 50 miles from my current residence, you're going to need to offer me more than 1/3 my current pay.

/Leaving the service soon
//Need job in IT.  Not expecting 100K/year, but I need to at least be able to make rent and buy food for the family.
 
2013-04-25 03:31:40 PM  
I like seeing people filling out applications at the check out counter. Never fails to amuse me. Bonus if they are in the way of people trying to pay for stuff.

/take that ish home!
 
2013-04-25 03:32:12 PM  
The scam jobs that contact you are just disgusting. It seems like every insurance agency, MLM and terrible canvassing job just wants to chew through yet another poor sap who takes that job.

Do you have any superior officers or friends who know anyone in the IT world? That could give you a leg up in finding a job.
 
2013-04-25 03:46:25 PM  
CSB

Girlfriend's daughter finished high school, no other schooling. She worked briefly as a waitress at a couple of steak houses, did some babysitting for friends of the family. She then decided to get her first "real world" job and landed a job as a dispatcher for a printer repair company. She's making something like 10-12/hour, and constantly complains about how "bullshiat" it is that they aren't paying her more, she should be making 50 grand a year, etc.

Yeah, sweetheart - high school graduates who can answer a phone are SO skilled.

Reality is a cold, hard biatch.

/CSB
 
2013-04-25 03:46:46 PM  

Lemurknits: The scam jobs that contact you are just disgusting. It seems like every insurance agency, MLM and terrible canvassing job just wants to chew through yet another poor sap who takes that job.

Do you have any superior officers or friends who know anyone in the IT world? That could give you a leg up in finding a job.


Assuming you're talking to me, yes and no.  Lots of people I know in IT here are finding other jobs elsewhere, and thanks to child custody issues I have to stay here in the area for just a bit longer.  That, and finding an IT job outside is a lot different (expectations) than what the DoD gets you used to.

/Job transition sucks
//Crazy ex's suck worse.  TONS of jobs just an hour south of here, but I can't move.  Yet...
 
2013-04-25 03:50:25 PM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: //Need job in IT.  Not expecting 100K/year, but I need to at least be able to make rent and buy food for the family.


Not trying to violate Fark's TOS or anything, but have you checked into TekSystems? They're an IT recruiting agency, they have been SUPERB in my experience. They actually call/follow up/seem to care about placing people. It could just be my local team, but I am really impressed with their efforts. They landed me a position with a good company and got me WAY more salary than I was expecting - which is always nice. :)

Incidentally, my computer name is "JOHNNY5" so I', diggin' your Fark handle...
 
2013-04-25 03:54:51 PM  

A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.


This.
I got an email from 26 year-old PhD today with "you" spelled "u" and LOL and a smiley face in it.
I was like, "dude, you have a PhD, come on."
 
2013-04-25 03:56:02 PM  

aspAddict: NumberFiveIsAlive: //Need job in IT.  Not expecting 100K/year, but I need to at least be able to make rent and buy food for the family.

Not trying to violate Fark's TOS or anything, but have you checked into TekSystems? They're an IT recruiting agency, they have been SUPERB in my experience. They actually call/follow up/seem to care about placing people. It could just be my local team, but I am really impressed with their efforts. They landed me a position with a good company and got me WAY more salary than I was expecting - which is always nice. :)

Incidentally, my computer name is "JOHNNY5" so I', diggin' your Fark handle...


Yeah, I made my handle after a couple years of lurking on Fark.  Loved the first movie as a kid.  Then I saw jfivealive, saw his account pre-date mine, and I'm like DAMNIT!

I'll look into it, there are a couple agencies around here I'm also working with.  IT and medicine seem to be somewhat well represented with specialized staffing agencies for those industries.  Still nervous as hell, but at least I'm not a Chinese linguist trying to find work in bumfark Iowa.

/Articles like this make me happy that I'm literate
//Half of current work staff here have issues with tucking in their shirts and wearing pants that fit
///Above counts for some of the military here as well, sheesh
 
2013-04-25 03:56:21 PM  

Lemurknits: YixilTesiphon: Lemurknits: And don't forget the utterly bizarre rules some enforce. For instance, I applied to work for a non-profit that works to end greyhound racing. I didn't know until the interview that the entire office was vegan. All lunches brought in had to be vegan. The ever living hell?

...Do they know what dogs eat?

They should- they have an office greyhound. Poor thing didn't even lift its head off the pillow so it must have been one of those sad dogs that are forced to be vegan by their humans.

/grew up with dogs
//now own a cat
///ALL get real meat


Not necessarily. Greyhounds are like giant cats, really. They get just a little bit of exercise every day, and then lie around 90% of the time. It could be he was just old. Racing is also really hard on them, so it could be arthritis and such acting up, it's painful for him to do that.

I'm not sticking up for veganism, but the behavior of the dog isn't indicative of that ;) It's indicative of being a rescued greyhound
 
2013-04-25 04:00:05 PM  

GalFriday: A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.

This.
I got an email from 26 year-old PhD today with "you" spelled "u" and LOL and a smiley face in it.
I was like, "dude, you have a PhD, come on."


Might want to check that out with his university first.  We had a separated "Army officer" hire in as a civvy here.  Got a bad-conduct discharge a few years back (guy was about 130lbs overweight), and was never commissioned.  ALWAYS check credentials for academics, and special designations.  If he had a PhD, I'd love to see if it came from "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"
 
2013-04-25 04:02:36 PM  
Feh, showing up on time for stuff is for old people. I get there when I want, and people are happy to wait, because I'm awesome!

Now if only I could find a job in which "being awesome whenever the fark I feel like it" is the main qualification, I'd be set. And of course, it has to pay at least $60k a year, because anything less than that is not worth getting out of bed.
 
2013-04-25 04:05:14 PM  
A portion of every generation is functionally unemployable due to their strict adherence to pop culture elements that go against the main stream norms. How many young men in the 1960s do you think were unemployable due to their long hair, weird clothes, and their knack for saying, "Man" after every statement?

Nothing new to see here, same idea, just a different generation and different pop culture.
 
2013-04-25 04:07:01 PM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: GalFriday: A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.

This.
I got an email from 26 year-old PhD today with "you" spelled "u" and LOL and a smiley face in it.
I was like, "dude, you have a PhD, come on."

Might want to check that out with his university first.  We had a separated "Army officer" hire in as a civvy here.  Got a bad-conduct discharge a few years back (guy was about 130lbs overweight), and was never commissioned.  ALWAYS check credentials for academics, and special designations.  If he had a PhD, I'd love to see if it came from "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"


Everyone that works here has to complete an extensive background check.  So I know it is legit.  He is just an idiot.  Apparently they give PhD's to idiots.  You have to know the guy.
 
2013-04-25 04:08:51 PM  
Yup, we shore , we nee sumone ta teech them there yung people how ta reed and rite gud Inglish.
 
2013-04-25 04:11:53 PM  

GalFriday: NumberFiveIsAlive: GalFriday: A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.

This.
I got an email from 26 year-old PhD today with "you" spelled "u" and LOL and a smiley face in it.
I was like, "dude, you have a PhD, come on."

Might want to check that out with his university first.  We had a separated "Army officer" hire in as a civvy here.  Got a bad-conduct discharge a few years back (guy was about 130lbs overweight), and was never commissioned.  ALWAYS check credentials for academics, and special designations.  If he had a PhD, I'd love to see if it came from "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"

Everyone that works here has to complete an extensive background check.  So I know it is legit.  He is just an idiot.  Apparently they give PhD's to idiots.  You have to know the guy.


Not really.  The US Gov. gives rather high positions and pay to complete morons.  These morons all passed extensive background checks for decades even, had PhDs in whatever, some had military experience also.  The one thing they had in common was the ability to kiss the right ass at the right time.

/Why else pay someone 120K/year (my former boss) so he can tell you that you need to find your own mission, and then figure out how to do it on your own with zero resources and top-cover, and then tell you you're doing it wrong, and to try again every 2 months for several years.
//Yeah, that didn't go well.  Part of the reason why I'm headed out the door now
 
2013-04-25 04:15:18 PM  

tortilla burger: Many have a 'poor knowledge' of the company that they are applying to work for, and appear to have failed to research their potential future employer.Others are 'unable to answer why they want the job and what they want to do.'

For somebody with no experience in a particular industry, what exactly do you expect? There's no way a kid fresh out of school can tell you what they'll think of the job, or how their career will progress in a field they haven't even entered yet. And why does anyone want a job, really? Because I don't want to be a farking bum, that's why you nitwit.


Seriously - the reason anyone wants a job is simple: to get paid.
There may be variations, such as "this is the least horrible option I can think of in order to get paid" or "this might actually be a good way to get paid" or "I am so out of options, I'll take this because I need to get paid."  But at the end of the day, no matter what the job, or who it is, the end goal is simply: the paycheck.

To think it is anything else is ridiculous.  Nobody would work at a normal job if they weren't paid to do so.  I'd make music all day. I'd write. I'd paint. I'd garden. I'd go for long walks.  There are tons of things I could happily do without a paycheck because I love them. Everyone's list will vary, but you're not going to find  "I would spend my days in an office with windows that don't open, eating a crappy microwave lunch at my desk, doing work not related to anything I love" on someone's list of things they'd do for anything BUT the check.
 
2013-04-25 04:19:13 PM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: GalFriday: NumberFiveIsAlive: GalFriday: A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.

This.
I got an email from 26 year-old PhD today with "you" spelled "u" and LOL and a smiley face in it.
I was like, "dude, you have a PhD, come on."

Might want to check that out with his university first.  We had a separated "Army officer" hire in as a civvy here.  Got a bad-conduct discharge a few years back (guy was about 130lbs overweight), and was never commissioned.  ALWAYS check credentials for academics, and special designations.  If he had a PhD, I'd love to see if it came from "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"

Not really.  The US Gov. gives rather high positions and pay to complete morons.  These morons all passed extensive background checks for decades even, had PhDs in whatever, some had military experience also.  The one thing they had in common was the ability to kiss the right ass at the right time.

/Why else pay someone 120K/year (my former boss) so he can tell you that you need to find your own mission, and then figure out how to do it on your own with zero resources and top-cover, and then tell you you're doing it wrong, and to try again every 2 months for several years.
//Yeah, that didn't go well.  Part of the reason why I'm headed out the door now


 I work in a DNA lab and we do testing for law enforcement agencies all over the world.  So, in order to work here, we underwent the background checks where they go talk to your old neighbors and take your DNA and all of that.  They even interviewed two ex-boyfriends of mine before I could work here, and I am former prosecutor.
 
2013-04-25 04:19:26 PM  
Serpent Sky,
Exactly.  I need a paycheck.  I have 12 years in IT, but I'd be willing to do most other jobs as well if they paid me enough to pay bills, rent, and buy food.

/Milk cows
//Sheer sheep
///Pluck chickens...
//Ok Phil, you'll be hearing from us...
 
2013-04-25 04:19:54 PM  

Lemurknits: The scam jobs that contact you are just disgusting. It seems like every insurance agency, MLM and terrible canvassing job just wants to chew through yet another poor sap who takes that job.


Do people actually answer them? I received a poorly written acceptance letter for a job doing god-knows-what (I honestly couldn't figure out what the supposed position was. Well, I think it was for me. They spelled my last name incorrectly in the e-mail. But I'm sure I'll be making that $6600 per week in 1-3 hours a day in NO time.

/Gonna be rich!
 
2013-04-25 04:20:35 PM  
Yes. Young people are unreasonable for expecting a salary that actually covers their bills and student loans and still allows them to eat

Silly students.
 
2013-04-25 04:20:56 PM  
Yeah, guys in black suits scared the shiat out of my mother when they were doing my background check.  She thought that I died or something...
 
2013-04-25 04:27:02 PM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: Serpent Sky,
Exactly.  I need a paycheck.  I have 12 years in IT, but I'd be willing to do most other jobs as well if they paid me enough to pay bills, rent, and buy food.


BE CAREFUL.

I'm serious. I've found out recently that even though I went to school for writing and have an extensive background in copywriting, editing, and proofreading, nobody wants to take a chance on someone "making a career change" because I took a job a few years ago to pay the bills.  It wasn't my plan to stay here as long as I have, but the market hasn't been good, and it's steady work. I'd much rather be doing what I went to school for, and what I at least get some enjoyment out of, and people act as if I magically forgot how to write copy or edit the written word.

I actually have no idea how to get out of this situation, especially since I'm currently doing legal-type work, but don't have a degree in law (or even a paralegal certificate) and therefore, don't really cut it in moving up in fields that would be less of a "career change."

Thus, be careful when doing "just anything" because I've heard from a few people around my age (mid 30s) that this is a common issue. Recruiters are looking only at what the person is doing NOW, as opposed to the whole resume, and it's really difficult for anyone who basically had to step out of their field in order to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads.  I had a bit of a breakdown on Monday night when I realized I'd probably have been better off going on unemployment when the staff was laid off at my old job, instead of being what I thought was a responsible adult and taking a job to pay the bills.  It seems wrong, but that's what's happening, at least on the East Coast.
 
2013-04-25 04:41:36 PM  
Many have a 'poor knowledge' of the company that they are applying to work for, and appear to have failed to research their potential future employer.

/guitily raises hand.  I didn't even know the name of the last company I worked for when I showed up for the interview.  They called on Friday while I was packing to move and set up an appointment for Monday.  The ad had been very cagey about giving details but it met my qualifications to a tee so I figured what the heck.  The guy just gave me an address and a floor but no company name so I'm figuring it's going to be some shady operation and I'll just go for laughs.  I didn't even bother to google the address to see if I could find the name.  Ended up being a very  unshady publishing company where I worked for the next five years until my psuedo-retirement.
 
2013-04-25 04:55:59 PM  
GalFriday:

Everyone that works here has to complete an extensive background check.  So I know it is legit.  He is just an idiot.  Apparently they give PhD's to idiots.

I work in higher education. After 15 years of working with and for clueless Ph.D.s, my axiom has become  "Does the guy have a Ph.D.? Then he's most likely an idiot. Deal with someone else in the department."

There are some faculty members who are delightful and smart and personable and yet still possess a Ph.D. But invariably, they are either younger, female, or both. The older guys? Forget it. They have ONE thing they can do, and it is the one thing they will do to the exclusion of all else. I will maintain til the day I die that one of our physics professors would, if he dropped a jar of pickles in front of the fridge, drop everything to calculate the trajectory of the pickles in free fall, so as to be able to determine to what extent they would affect the glass spread from the point of impact. Whereas people without a Ph.D. in physics would just clean up the damned pickles and broken glass.

And just to steer this back to the topic: wearing street clothes to work? No worries, if you work in higher education. The geology professors wear shorts 365 days a year. They'll deign to wear socks with their Tevas or Birkenstocks if it snows. The CS professors, unlike their students, may actually bathe on a regular basis, but that is a fairly recent development. So yeah, wear whatever you want, show up whenever you want -- if you work in higher education, it's not an issue.

Oh, wait: you wanted a job paying over 50K to start? Let me laugh harder.  I've been here for 15 years in various positions, most recently as a database administrator. I just cracked the 40K mark a few years back, just before they froze our salaries for the past 5 years.
 
2013-04-25 04:56:15 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: SithLord: StickyBunBandit: How long before "Idiocracy" becomes reality?

We've already elected Obama, so there's that.

And if he has his way, this country will have 100% unemployment, so hiring will no longer be an issue!  YAY


I misread that as "at least 100% unemployment" and thought, "Oh goodie! Now we have doubleplus
unemployment!"
 
2013-04-25 04:56:45 PM  

iheartscotch: Regular street clothes for boomers consist of a button-down shirt, dress slacks and dress shoes, possibly a tie. If you wear that stuff regularly; you'll be alright. I'm just saying you might want to save your favorite MEGADEATH shirt for some other time.


Probably a good idea. Wearing a band shirt is bad enough, much less one that is misspelled.
 
2013-04-25 04:57:39 PM  

Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.


Well yeah, because no one would want to work at a place where such jackassery was common.
 
2013-04-25 04:58:11 PM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: Lemurknits: The scam jobs that contact you are just disgusting. It seems like every insurance agency, MLM and terrible canvassing job just wants to chew through yet another poor sap who takes that job.

Do you have any superior officers or friends who know anyone in the IT world? That could give you a leg up in finding a job.

Assuming you're talking to me, yes and no.  Lots of people I know in IT here are finding other jobs elsewhere, and thanks to child custody issues I have to stay here in the area for just a bit longer.  That, and finding an IT job outside is a lot different (expectations) than what the DoD gets you used to.

/Job transition sucks
//Crazy ex's suck worse.  TONS of jobs just an hour south of here, but I can't move.  Yet...


That sucks so hard. I hope you find something soon. My dad was in the military until I was 10, and has remained in the Guard/Reserves ever since. I know how hard it is to transition out.
/First Dad was a stockbroker
//Then a Security guard
///Now a cop
 
2013-04-25 05:03:01 PM  

YixilTesiphon: Lemurknits: And don't forget the utterly bizarre rules some enforce. For instance, I applied to work for a non-profit that works to end greyhound racing. I didn't know until the interview that the entire office was vegan. All lunches brought in had to be vegan. The ever living hell?

...Do they know what dogs eat?


Please no bestiality stories...
 
2013-04-25 05:06:40 PM  

aspAddict: NumberFiveIsAlive: //Need job in IT.  Not expecting 100K/year, but I need to at least be able to make rent and buy food for the family.

Not trying to violate Fark's TOS or anything, but have you checked into TekSystems? They're an IT recruiting agency, they have been SUPERB in my experience. They actually call/follow up/seem to care about placing people. It could just be my local team, but I am really impressed with their efforts. They landed me a position with a good company and got me WAY more salary than I was expecting - which is always nice. :)

Incidentally, my computer name is "JOHNNY5" so I', diggin' your Fark handle...


It's your local team, or at least, it's variable across the company.  Every time I've dealt with a different recruiter at either the Milwaukee or Appleton office (because they never seem to stick around) I have to teach them what Linux is and how it differs from Windows, explain to them how a diverse resume generally means that you're good at learning new technologies quickly (rather than magically being in possession of all fifteen skills a company is looking for) and how (for example) if a company is looking for someone to administer 250 servers, someone who has experience with 100-150 is _just_ as suitable (because once you get past a dozen or so you start scripting everything and at that point you can scale it quickly).  You get the feeling they're just trying to check off the requirement boxes and aren't going to make any effort to "sell" you to the client, and if I wanted that I'd just skip the middleman and deal directly with the HR drones.
 
2013-04-25 05:07:26 PM  

Fano: "You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.

Well yeah, because no one would want to work at a place where such jackassery was common.


Seriously.

I mean, I always have a pen in my bag, but I write a lot. If it were a male who doesn't carry a bag, a pen may be impractical. (Do men carry pens everywhere they go? I'd think it would be annoying to shove a pen in your pocket as opposed to a bag or purse that has room for such things....)

But ignoring that, why on earth would you give someone hell for not having a pen? Maybe they brought a copy of their resume and felt that would be sufficient and your attitude chased away an excellent candidate/potential employee.
 
2013-04-25 05:16:13 PM  

serpent_sky: NumberFiveIsAlive: Serpent Sky,
Exactly.  I need a paycheck.  I have 12 years in IT, but I'd be willing to do most other jobs as well if they paid me enough to pay bills, rent, and buy food.

BE CAREFUL.

I'm serious. I've found out recently that even though I went to school for writing and have an extensive background in copywriting, editing, and proofreading, nobody wants to take a chance on someone "making a career change" because I took a job a few years ago to pay the bills.  It wasn't my plan to stay here as long as I have, but the market hasn't been good, and it's steady work. I'd much rather be doing what I went to school for, and what I at least get some enjoyment out of, and people act as if I magically forgot how to write copy or edit the written word.

I actually have no idea how to get out of this situation, especially since I'm currently doing legal-type work, but don't have a degree in law (or even a paralegal certificate) and therefore, don't really cut it in moving up in fields that would be less of a "career change."

Thus, be careful when doing "just anything" because I've heard from a few people around my age (mid 30s) that this is a common issue. Recruiters are looking only at what the person is doing NOW, as opposed to the whole resume, and it's really difficult for anyone who basically had to step out of their field in order to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads.  I had a bit of a breakdown on Monday night when I realized I'd probably have been better off going on unemployment when the staff was laid off at my old job, instead of being what I thought was a responsible adult and taking a job to pay the bills.  It seems wrong, but that's what's happening, at least on the East Coast.


Depending on how long the "taking a non career job to pay the bills" situation was, some would argue to leave it off the resume entirely.  It's not a point by point job history - it's a list of your experience that's relevant to the position you're applying for.  You don't put your teenage McDonald's job on there, do you?  Chances are good the gap in employment will come up in the interview process, so just deal with it at that point.  They won't - or shouldn't - hold it against you any more than if you took two years off and lived off savings to care for your dying parent or something.  And if they do, do you want to work for them, yadda yadda.
And I'm willing to bet you're going to find that the behavior mentioned above - you're only qualified for what you did most recently - is going to be just as ephemeral an experience as the whole "we don't hire unemployed people" thing was a year or two ago.  It was a solution a few/some asshole recruiters had hit upon to make it simple to cull the herd, but eventually SO many job hunters fell into that category it was working against the companies - after a while all the candidates see you as yet another stepping stone rather than a job they want to drop anchor at.
 
2013-04-25 05:16:32 PM  
The prick hiring managers in this thread are either the most uptight assholes I've ever come across, or the best farking trolls I have ever seen.
 
2013-04-25 05:19:23 PM  

Jerkwater: Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.

Yeah, I would have left too, muttering "thank God I didn't wind up working for that asshole...".

/lighten up, francis


Exactly. When you use such random measures for dismissing potential employees you're going to end up hiring randomly as well. I hate working for people that lack basic reasoning skills.
 
2013-04-25 05:21:27 PM  
I'm the application triage guy for the university library.  I get to read all the incoming workstudy student applications, and pass on the "best" ones for further review.  It's not unusual to have 750+ applications for ~25 positions at the beginning of the fall semester.  Granted, there are a lot of bad ones, but I have yet to get more than two txt-speak applications in a single semester.  Spelling errors on the other hand...
 
2013-04-25 05:28:51 PM  
I had to fire a 20 something last month because she continually slipped off to the bathroom or back room to talk or text on her phone. Retail pharmacy has no place for slackers.
 
2013-04-25 05:33:01 PM  

fappomatic: STFU, GAFAJ!


i.ytimg.com

You get a goddamn job before sundown, or we're shipping you off to military school with the goddamn Finkelstein shiat kid! Son of a biatch!
 
2013-04-25 05:34:13 PM  
Bullsh*t. Employers are just looking for any excuse not to hire younger people, especially those fresh out of college.
Why?
Because they're such cheap f*cking bastards that they would rather leave a position open for months while the other employees take up the slack, even though someone else is desperately needed, that they don't want to take any time at all to train that college grad. In their perfect world people would be like car parts... one fails, get another one, install it and drive away.
People aren't like that, and not giving these potential employees their chance is a waste
/really wish they would f*cking hire someone else here
//this sh*t is getting on my nerves
 
2013-04-25 05:37:13 PM  

OniNeko: The prick hiring managers in this thread are either the most uptight assholes I've ever come across, or the best farking trolls I have ever seen.


I don't think it's trolling, I remember back when I was in high school they brought in a couple HR guys to talk to us about getting a job, one of them was also hung up on absolutely having a pen with you at all times. The other generally brought potential candidates with him to lunch, if they added any salt to their lunch before tasting it first, they didn't get the job.

/Getting the job is as much knowing what makes the person who is interviewing you tick as it is having the right skill set.
 
2013-04-25 05:37:52 PM  

Macular Degenerate: A portion of every generation is functionally unemployable due to their strict adherence to pop culture elements that go against the main stream norms. How many young men in the 1960s do you think were unemployable due to their long hair, weird clothes, and their knack for saying, "Man" after every statement?

Nothing new to see here, same idea, just a different generation and different pop culture.


Probably, but it's still amusing to mock them. For those of us who don't watch reality television for our daily dose of "at least I'm smarter than these assholes."
 
2013-04-25 05:38:44 PM  

taliesinwi: s
Depending on how long the "taking a non career job to pay the bills" situation was, some would argue to leave it off the resume entirely.  It's not a point by point job history - it's a list of your experience that's relevant to the position ...


For me, it's almost 5 years now.  I didn't mind the work, and there was so little out there for so long, I sort of settled in, not quite realizing that there was even a chance someone would think my ability to write would change over that time period.  (I would dare say I was also optimistic that being a specialist in something very few people know about felt like job security and something that would help me earn decent money long term. I was incorrect.)   It would be quite the gap to leave hanging on the resume, I'm afraid.

I'll figure something out, I'm sure, but it's frustrating since I know I am not the only one being turned away from jobs I'm perfectly qualified to do because I had to deviate during "the great recession".   One of the things I know is I can learn just about anything (but math or science... please don't ask me to do math or science) and excel at it.  I've tried to make that the "framework" for what I have done the past few years - that I walked in knowing nothing and became an expert (though in slightly less self-important terms.) I guess I have to work on advertising that skill better. :)
 
2013-04-25 05:42:21 PM  

Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.


I probably would have filled out the App then made off with the pen. After telling them that "I haven't used such a primitive form of information input in 4 years.  I need to take it with me to add to my personal museum of obsolete hardware."
 
2013-04-25 05:45:08 PM  
Like, I *totally* grew up in like the 80's and like it totally didn't affect my ability to like speak or anything, okay?  We like turned out okay, so like this generation should have *totally* no issues.  OMG
 
2013-04-25 05:46:40 PM  
These youngsters will be the perfect people to communicate with Kim Jung Un.
 
2013-04-25 05:47:53 PM  

MonoChango: I probably would have filled out the App then made off with the pen. After telling them that "I haven't used such a primitive form of information input in 4 years. I need to take it with me to add to my personal museum of obsolete hardware."


They'd probably try to have you arrested for theft of said pen.
 
2013-04-25 05:47:56 PM  

mikemil828: OniNeko: The prick hiring managers in this thread are either the most uptight assholes I've ever come across, or the best farking trolls I have ever seen.

I don't think it's trolling, I remember back when I was in high school they brought in a couple HR guys to talk to us about getting a job, one of them was also hung up on absolutely having a pen with you at all times. The other generally brought potential candidates with him to lunch, if they added any salt to their lunch before tasting it first, they didn't get the job.

/Getting the job is as much knowing what makes the person who is interviewing you tick as it is having the right skill set.


I'm more talking about the guy that offered a guy a job for a little under 20k/year, 60 hours a week, then rescinded the offer when the eager-to-work applicant agreed to those terms.

That salt thing at least makes a bit of sense. I'm seriously offended if I cook someone a meal and they put something on it without tasting it. How the hell do they know what it needs without tasting it?

Regarding pens, a little less sense there. I always go prepared with my own pen because I like how it works and I know it isn't out of ink. However, I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that a manager would keep some cheap Bic pens next to the stack of applications.
 
2013-04-25 05:49:47 PM  
I found a great content writer here on Fark.  This is an excellent place to find keyboard contract labor.
 
2013-04-25 06:01:26 PM  

Hermione_Granger: Yes. Young people are unreasonable for expecting a salary that actually covers their bills and student loans and still allows them to eat

Silly students.


Yes, ask them why they didn't plan their academic career around acquiring the skills they would need to land a job that would compensate them enough money to cover their costs.  And if their plan didn't make sense, ask them why they went to college.
 
2013-04-25 06:12:12 PM  

mikemil828: OniNeko: The prick hiring managers in this thread are either the most uptight assholes I've ever come across, or the best farking trolls I have ever seen.

I don't think it's trolling, I remember back when I was in high school they brought in a couple HR guys to talk to us about getting a job, one of them was also hung up on absolutely having a pen with you at all times. The other generally brought potential candidates with him to lunch, if they added any salt to their lunch before tasting it first, they didn't get the job.

/Getting the job is as much knowing what makes the person who is interviewing you tick as it is having the right skill set.


The salt one I've heard before, I thought about mentioning it when stating that the pen question was crap. I get the reasoning, it's just arbitrary standards like this take on a magical life of their own. I'm sure if you have to interview dozens of people a day it's helpful to have a heuristic to toss more applications in the round file.
 
2013-04-25 06:21:28 PM  

Great Janitor: Kirzania: Great Janitor: I said, "I'm sorry, you're too dumb to work here if you think that's a fair deal."

Know how I know you haven't been laid off for an extended period of time with no job prospects in sight?
... Because that's how my gig goes. Thankfully, the salary's higher than that but it's just as ridiculous for my level of experience.

I've worked hourly, I've worked commission, I've worked hourly plus commission.  I've never worked salaried, and I never will.  My point of view is that if you're in a job and they are working you for 60 hours, you should be paid for all 60, with 20 at time and a half.  My last corporate level job the salaried people were paid their flat salaries and nothing more, but were expected to put in at least 50 hours.  I'm sorry, that's wrong.


Of course that's wrong, but you missed the point. When the landlord comes knocking, there's no gas in your piece of sh*t car (if you even have one), and the refrigerator has been cooling nothing but the air inside it for several weeks, you will take what you can get. If it seems like a stupid deal in the long term, it probably is... but in the short term, you have to eat.

If someone chooses eating and a roof over their heads rather than the street and starvation, I'd say that was a smart choice.
 
2013-04-25 06:23:49 PM  

Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.


Maybe it's an industry thing but that seems a little arbitrary and pointless. I mean, would you show up for a programming job with a keyboard? Bad example maybe, I dunno. Seems a little off.

That said, any resume must be absolutely perfect in terms of grammar and spelling. Any error, even the smallest one, is a big hit. It's only 1-2 pages and it's how you sell yourself so if you can't be bothered to proof read it properly (and have multiple friends proof it for you!) then you're not a good hire IMHO. I tend to let formatting slide but I don't work in an industry where formatting skills are important. If I did it would be a different story.
 
2013-04-25 06:33:08 PM  

GalFriday: NumberFiveIsAlive: GalFriday: NumberFiveIsAlive: GalFriday: A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.

This.
I got an email from 26 year-old PhD today with "you" spelled "u" and LOL and a smiley face in it.
I was like, "dude, you have a PhD, come on."

Might want to check that out with his university first.  We had a separated "Army officer" hire in as a civvy here.  Got a bad-conduct discharge a few years back (guy was about 130lbs overweight), and was never commissioned.  ALWAYS check credentials for academics, and special designations.  If he had a PhD, I'd love to see if it came from "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"

Not really.  The US Gov. gives rather high positions and pay to complete morons.  These morons all passed extensive background checks for decades even, had PhDs in whatever, some had military experience also.  The one thing they had in common was the ability to kiss the right ass at the right time.

/Why else pay someone 120K/year (my former boss) so he can tell you that you need to find your own mission, and then figure out how to do it on your own with zero resources and top-cover, and then tell you you're doing it wrong, and to try again every 2 months for several years.
//Yeah, that didn't go well.  Part of the reason why I'm headed out the door now

 I work in a DNA lab and we do testing for law enforcement agencies all over the world.  So, in order to work here, we underwent the background checks where they go talk to your old neighbors and take your DNA and all of that.  They even interviewed two ex-boyfriends of mine before I could work here, and I am former prosecutor.


You're a lawyer. You might have better luck if you left that off your resume.
 
2013-04-25 07:04:53 PM  

taliesinwi: It's your local team, or at least, it's variable across the company.


Kinda thought so. I've read RAVE reviews on Robert Half Technology, but have had almost no interaction with my local office over the last year. Same thing with a couple other placement agencies around here - some people SWEAR by them, but when I submit my resume all I hear is crickets.

Had one recruiter tell me, "If you see job openings for XYZ Company, let me know - I have a great relationship with them and can almost GUARANTEE you a spot!" Saw an opening for the company, emailed my rep...heard nothing for over a month. When he DID get back to me, it was, "Hey, just wanted to touch base and see how things are going - are you still in the job market?"
 
2013-04-25 07:22:56 PM  

Russ1642: "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"


You're silly..........WSWULHKVU is a damn good school.  They have the best underwater hurricane program in the country.
 
2013-04-25 07:54:24 PM  

rewind2846: Great Janitor: Kirzania: Great Janitor: I said, "I'm sorry, you're too dumb to work here if you think that's a fair deal."

Know how I know you haven't been laid off for an extended period of time with no job prospects in sight?
... Because that's how my gig goes. Thankfully, the salary's higher than that but it's just as ridiculous for my level of experience.

I've worked hourly, I've worked commission, I've worked hourly plus commission.  I've never worked salaried, and I never will.  My point of view is that if you're in a job and they are working you for 60 hours, you should be paid for all 60, with 20 at time and a half.  My last corporate level job the salaried people were paid their flat salaries and nothing more, but were expected to put in at least 50 hours.  I'm sorry, that's wrong.

Of course that's wrong, but you missed the point. When the landlord comes knocking, there's no gas in your piece of sh*t car (if you even have one), and the refrigerator has been cooling nothing but the air inside it for several weeks, you will take what you can get. If it seems like a stupid deal in the long term, it probably is... but in the short term, you have to eat.

If someone chooses eating and a roof over their heads rather than the street and starvation, I'd say that was a smart choice.


I've noticed that this post has caused a bit of hate towards me.  The part everyone is either forgetting or missing is that I already said that stuff like this is said to those who I've already determined I wasn't going to hire because of the text speech already on their application.  The guy I said this to I already wasn't going to hire.

Now, if someone is willing to work 60 hours a week, that's great.  They'd be better off getting a full time job where they are paid hourly and then getting a part time job.  The worst way to get paid is salaried.  Insulting when it breaks down to less than minimum wage.  I had a coworker who worked 50 hours a week as the assistant for a VP in the office.  Plus he was on conference calls most nights in the late evening, required to drop everything at a moment's notice 24 hours a day, 7 days a week because the needs of the VP's career came before anything that guy was doing.  He was salaried, so after hour 40, he was effectively working for free.  He told me at one point that he stopped going to the movies because he was tired of paying for the ticket and before the trailers were done he was forced to leave to head home and get on a conference call or send an email or look up something for his boss.  He also stopped dating because dates don't go well when you get called out of the date to assist the VP.  He started to rethink his career when he had to travel somewhere with the VP on a company trip.  The company covered his flight and hotel room, but it became clear that he was in a butt monkey position when after the company event they had attended was over, the VP went to some nice company paid for dinner for the big wigs of the company and the other company vendors.  He was told that he wasn't allowed to attend the dinner, that there was a McDonald's down the street (walking there, or paying for a cab),but he might be needed to assist so he might want to get his dinner to go.  One week we sat down and figured that he worked 90 hours one week.  That wasn't even minimum wage, or he worked 40 hours at pay and 50 for free.  My response was "My paycheck is smaller, but I get paid for every hour I work.  Effectively, you work two weeks and only get paid for one."
 
2013-04-25 08:41:19 PM  
s22.postimg.org
 
2013-04-25 09:01:38 PM  

AGremlin: Russ1642: "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"

You're silly..........WSWULHKVU is a damn good school.  They have the best underwater hurricane program in the country.


Why did you make it look like you're quoting me? You went out of your way to make it look like I wrote that, but I don't know why.
 
2013-04-25 09:36:31 PM  

Russ1642: AGremlin: Russ1642: "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"

You're silly..........WSWULHKVU is a damn good school.  They have the best underwater hurricane program in the country.

Why did you make it look like you're quoting me? You went out of your way to make it look like I wrote that, but I don't know why.


Probably because he doesn't like me or something...
WSWULHKVU is only good for basket weavers.  Their IT programs are a bit of a sham...
 
2013-04-25 09:51:08 PM  

serpent_sky: taliesinwi: s
Depending on how long the "taking a non career job to pay the bills" situation was, some would argue to leave it off the resume entirely.  It's not a point by point job history - it's a list of your experience that's relevant to the position ...

For me, it's almost 5 years now.  I didn't mind the work, and there was so little out there for so long, I sort of settled in, not quite realizing that there was even a chance someone would think my ability to write would change over that time period.  (I would dare say I was also optimistic that being a specialist in something very few people know about felt like job security and something that would help me earn decent money long term. I was incorrect.)   It would be quite the gap to leave hanging on the resume, I'm afraid.

I'll figure something out, I'm sure, but it's frustrating since I know I am not the only one being turned away from jobs I'm perfectly qualified to do because I had to deviate during "the great recession".   One of the things I know is I can learn just about anything (but math or science... please don't ask me to do math or science) and excel at it.  I've tried to make that the "framework" for what I have done the past few years - that I walked in knowing nothing and became an expert (though in slightly less self-important terms.) I guess I have to work on advertising that skill better. :)


I did the same with IT, totally not my field, but it's approaching 4 years now and I feel very very stuck.
 
2013-04-25 10:14:19 PM  

Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.




Ur a farking twat. Seriously, power trip much? Idiot.
 
2013-04-25 10:29:50 PM  

Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.




Also, I love how you posted this Csb like you were proud of it. Nice pics of your food in your profile as well . /sarcasm
 
2013-04-25 11:00:49 PM  

aspAddict: taliesinwi: It's your local team, or at least, it's variable across the company.

Kinda thought so. I've read RAVE reviews on Robert Half Technology, but have had almost no interaction with my local office over the last year. Same thing with a couple other placement agencies around here - some people SWEAR by them, but when I submit my resume all I hear is crickets.

Had one recruiter tell me, "If you see job openings for XYZ Company, let me know - I have a great relationship with them and can almost GUARANTEE you a spot!" Saw an opening for the company, emailed my rep...heard nothing for over a month. When he DID get back to me, it was, "Hey, just wanted to touch base and see how things are going - are you still in the job market?"



I have no experience with Robert Half Technology, but I did use Robert Half Accounting twice.  Both times, I had a full-time job within 48 hours of contacting them and letting them know I was looking for work.

Of course, that was before the economy tanked.  Who knows how I would do now?
 
2013-04-25 11:47:37 PM  

Russ1642: AGremlin: Russ1642: "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"

You're silly..........WSWULHKVU is a damn good school.  They have the best underwater hurricane program in the country.

Why did you make it look like you're quoting me? You went out of your way to make it look like I wrote that, but I don't know why.


I hit the quote button on your post....whoops.....no conspiracy here.  Sorry...hope you can she from my post that I was being facetious anyway.
 
2013-04-25 11:52:02 PM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: Russ1642: AGremlin: Russ1642: "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"

You're silly..........WSWULHKVU is a damn good school.  They have the best underwater hurricane program in the country.

Why did you make it look like you're quoting me? You went out of your way to make it look like I wrote that, but I don't know why.

Probably because he doesn't like me or something...
WSWULHKVU is only good for basket weavers.  Their IT programs are a bit of a sham...


Don't even know who you are...first time I've seen you post.  But I'm sure you're a great person?
 
2013-04-25 11:56:38 PM  

giftedmadness: Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.

Ur a farking twat. Seriously, power trip much? Idiot.


To be fair, and I know I called him out for this arbitrary peeve, he pointed out that people came in to apply that didn't even bother to dress like they were wanting to be hired. I can imagine it was essentially a "last straw," as surely he wouldn't penalize someone that came in well-scrubbed and dressed as appropriately as they can manage just because they didn't come with a pen in hand.
 
2013-04-26 01:35:22 AM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: Russ1642: AGremlin: Russ1642: "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"

You're silly..........WSWULHKVU is a damn good school.  They have the best underwater hurricane program in the country.

Why did you make it look like you're quoting me? You went out of your way to make it look like I wrote that, but I don't know why.

Probably because he doesn't like me or something...
WSWULHKVU is only good for basket weavers.  Their IT programs are a bit of a sham...


Who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes?
 
2013-04-26 02:32:57 AM  
... and write applications in text speak ...

This makes me feel very, very good about my future employment prospects. In fact, if this is my competition, I should probably dust off my folder labelled "plan to assume leadership of Earth in event of Idiocracy."
 
2013-04-26 04:52:43 AM  
The hourly/salaried disease is spreading. I'm self-employed as a project/program manager, currently on a contract with a "Fortune 10" Big Oil co. Even while on a contract - which is feast or famine work - I'll respond to recruiters. The other day, a recruiter set me up for an interview with a bank (warning signal), and mentioned that I would be expected to work a "professional day". This means, bill for eight hours per day, work ten to twelve. The result is that your billable rate is discounted by X%, depending on how many free hours you work.

I know there are many folks out there who would love to have this sort of problem and my heart goes out to them. I'm sure it won't help you to know that it doesn't get easier. I have made massive investments in developing my career over the past 35+ years, the past 12 years self-employed. Graduate degrees, professional certification, ongoing education, networking, obsessing over the slightest nuance in a resume. It just doesn't end.

I could write pages of anecdotal stories detailing the frustration of dealing with recruiters and clients. The games played by many companies in dealing with human capital is downright atrocious, especially when management struts out the propaganda about their corporate culture and "our strength is our people".

It seemed back three decades ago, perhaps wrongly, that there was a somewhat more sincere compact between business and humans. As the years progressed I saw several times how companies will treat employees when the business environment heads South. While that's just the way the worm turns, it convinced me that being an employee is perhaps the worst way to make a living. An average human selling their labor is unlikely to leverage that into big money, with the exception of outliers such as entertainers, star athletes etc. Salaried employees have no leverage and job protection doesn't seem to exist any more. The obscene flip-side is that money can be leveraged into big money relatively easily.

/Good luck
/Rant finished.
 
2013-04-26 05:20:16 AM  

Great Janitor: One person I said "Okay, this position pays $19,760 a year salaried."  (that's $9.50/hour and the position wasn't salaried, no one worked over time in over three years).  The applicant shook his head.  "And do you have any problems working 60 hours a week salaried?"  The applicant said "No."  I said "Now, salaried means no over time, no extra money.  Your pay doesn't go up that week because you worked 60 hours instead of 40, and we're going to require at least 55 hours a week, but that $9.50 is only based on a 40 hour work week.  Is that okay?"  The applicant said "Yes."  I said "Now, to make this perfectly clear, if you take the job you can't complain that you are basically working 40 hours at $9.50 and 20 for free, because for those 20 hours on the 60 hour work weeks, you aren't getting any extra money.  We will expect you to work seven days a week.  That means you aren't getting paid for the weekends that we will expect you to work.  Are you fine with this?"  And he said "Yes."  I said, "I'm sorry, you're too dumb to work here if you think that's a fair deal."


According to federal law a salaried, or "exempt", position must pay a minimum of $455 per week. So your question was basically a non-starter, and savvy interviewees would be aware of that.

I've worked salaried positions at a few of my various jobs over the years, and although sometimes (during very busy periods) that required 60+ hour work weeks, the upside was that I didn't have a finite number of "sick" days and I wasn't docked if I came in late. As long as I got my work done, days off and hours were fairly flexible, unlike when I worked hourly and had to go to work with pneumonia because I couldn't afford unpaid time off. (I hope I infected my cheapo boss, too.)
 
2013-04-26 06:48:52 AM  
Pfft, never mind the applicants, the recruitment agencies can't write either.

www.alreet-fat-beast.com
 
2013-04-26 08:39:24 AM  

Meez: Everybody knows the best EZ job is being the guy inside the RedBox DVD machines ! You get a TV,  and a fridge and all you have to do is push DVDs out the slot !   Just knock on one and yell loudly to them that you want a job over and over again and they will push an application out the slot for you.


*favorited*
 
2013-04-26 11:23:14 AM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: aspAddict: NumberFiveIsAlive: //Need job in IT.  Not expecting 100K/year, but I need to at least be able to make rent and buy food for the family.

Not trying to violate Fark's TOS or anything, but have you checked into TekSystems? They're an IT recruiting agency, they have been SUPERB in my experience. They actually call/follow up/seem to care about placing people. It could just be my local team, but I am really impressed with their efforts. They landed me a position with a good company and got me WAY more salary than I was expecting - which is always nice. :)

Incidentally, my computer name is "JOHNNY5" so I', diggin' your Fark handle...

Yeah, I made my handle after a couple years of lurking on Fark.  Loved the first movie as a kid.  Then I saw jfivealive, saw his account pre-date mine, and I'm like DAMNIT!

I'll look into it, there are a couple agencies around here I'm also working with.  IT and medicine seem to be somewhat well represented with specialized staffing agencies for those industries.  Still nervous as hell, but at least I'm not a Chinese linguist trying to find work in bumfark Iowa.

/Articles like this make me happy that I'm literate
//Half of current work staff here have issues with tucking in their shirts and wearing pants that fit
///Above counts for some of the military here as well, sheesh


If the long road I am taking in my current company does not lead to an IT job (the reason I have school loans), I may have to take a look at this. I work for a great company but positions open up very slowly, especially in IT and related departments.
 
2013-04-26 08:27:47 PM  
Some youth do know the difference between text speak and good literacy.  Those are the ones who will be hired and good interviewers will be able to separate them.
 
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