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(Daily Mail)   Winning: Dear Cir, do U have NE nice eZ jobs 4 me 2 do?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 174
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17381 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Apr 2013 at 12:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-25 03:08:38 PM  

Lemurknits: They should- they have an office greyhound. Poor thing didn't even lift its head off the pillow so it must have been one of those sad dogs that are forced to be vegan by their humans.


That's horrible.
 
2013-04-25 03:21:58 PM  
As a job searcher, one thing I find frustrating is posting my resume to job boards, and getting spammed with interview requests by companies I didn't apply for, for jobs in positions I'm not applying for (mostly sales), and for pay FAR below what I need to make a living anyway.  And I echo the comments about "Entry level" jobs that require 4-year degrees and 2-4 years experience.  That's not entry level.  Entry level means no experience.  A 2-year degree if necessary for some jobs, but it's not entry level.  It's so exceptionally frustrating to find job postings that sound like good deals, then the HR person says "yeah, we were only offering in the range of $11-14/hour, and this job is in [insert city 50 miles away]".  I'm sorry, but if you want me to take a job 50 miles from my current residence, you're going to need to offer me more than 1/3 my current pay.

/Leaving the service soon
//Need job in IT.  Not expecting 100K/year, but I need to at least be able to make rent and buy food for the family.
 
2013-04-25 03:31:40 PM  
I like seeing people filling out applications at the check out counter. Never fails to amuse me. Bonus if they are in the way of people trying to pay for stuff.

/take that ish home!
 
2013-04-25 03:32:12 PM  
The scam jobs that contact you are just disgusting. It seems like every insurance agency, MLM and terrible canvassing job just wants to chew through yet another poor sap who takes that job.

Do you have any superior officers or friends who know anyone in the IT world? That could give you a leg up in finding a job.
 
2013-04-25 03:46:25 PM  
CSB

Girlfriend's daughter finished high school, no other schooling. She worked briefly as a waitress at a couple of steak houses, did some babysitting for friends of the family. She then decided to get her first "real world" job and landed a job as a dispatcher for a printer repair company. She's making something like 10-12/hour, and constantly complains about how "bullshiat" it is that they aren't paying her more, she should be making 50 grand a year, etc.

Yeah, sweetheart - high school graduates who can answer a phone are SO skilled.

Reality is a cold, hard biatch.

/CSB
 
2013-04-25 03:46:46 PM  

Lemurknits: The scam jobs that contact you are just disgusting. It seems like every insurance agency, MLM and terrible canvassing job just wants to chew through yet another poor sap who takes that job.

Do you have any superior officers or friends who know anyone in the IT world? That could give you a leg up in finding a job.


Assuming you're talking to me, yes and no.  Lots of people I know in IT here are finding other jobs elsewhere, and thanks to child custody issues I have to stay here in the area for just a bit longer.  That, and finding an IT job outside is a lot different (expectations) than what the DoD gets you used to.

/Job transition sucks
//Crazy ex's suck worse.  TONS of jobs just an hour south of here, but I can't move.  Yet...
 
2013-04-25 03:50:25 PM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: //Need job in IT.  Not expecting 100K/year, but I need to at least be able to make rent and buy food for the family.


Not trying to violate Fark's TOS or anything, but have you checked into TekSystems? They're an IT recruiting agency, they have been SUPERB in my experience. They actually call/follow up/seem to care about placing people. It could just be my local team, but I am really impressed with their efforts. They landed me a position with a good company and got me WAY more salary than I was expecting - which is always nice. :)

Incidentally, my computer name is "JOHNNY5" so I', diggin' your Fark handle...
 
2013-04-25 03:54:51 PM  

A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.


This.
I got an email from 26 year-old PhD today with "you" spelled "u" and LOL and a smiley face in it.
I was like, "dude, you have a PhD, come on."
 
2013-04-25 03:56:02 PM  

aspAddict: NumberFiveIsAlive: //Need job in IT.  Not expecting 100K/year, but I need to at least be able to make rent and buy food for the family.

Not trying to violate Fark's TOS or anything, but have you checked into TekSystems? They're an IT recruiting agency, they have been SUPERB in my experience. They actually call/follow up/seem to care about placing people. It could just be my local team, but I am really impressed with their efforts. They landed me a position with a good company and got me WAY more salary than I was expecting - which is always nice. :)

Incidentally, my computer name is "JOHNNY5" so I', diggin' your Fark handle...


Yeah, I made my handle after a couple years of lurking on Fark.  Loved the first movie as a kid.  Then I saw jfivealive, saw his account pre-date mine, and I'm like DAMNIT!

I'll look into it, there are a couple agencies around here I'm also working with.  IT and medicine seem to be somewhat well represented with specialized staffing agencies for those industries.  Still nervous as hell, but at least I'm not a Chinese linguist trying to find work in bumfark Iowa.

/Articles like this make me happy that I'm literate
//Half of current work staff here have issues with tucking in their shirts and wearing pants that fit
///Above counts for some of the military here as well, sheesh
 
2013-04-25 03:56:21 PM  

Lemurknits: YixilTesiphon: Lemurknits: And don't forget the utterly bizarre rules some enforce. For instance, I applied to work for a non-profit that works to end greyhound racing. I didn't know until the interview that the entire office was vegan. All lunches brought in had to be vegan. The ever living hell?

...Do they know what dogs eat?

They should- they have an office greyhound. Poor thing didn't even lift its head off the pillow so it must have been one of those sad dogs that are forced to be vegan by their humans.

/grew up with dogs
//now own a cat
///ALL get real meat


Not necessarily. Greyhounds are like giant cats, really. They get just a little bit of exercise every day, and then lie around 90% of the time. It could be he was just old. Racing is also really hard on them, so it could be arthritis and such acting up, it's painful for him to do that.

I'm not sticking up for veganism, but the behavior of the dog isn't indicative of that ;) It's indicative of being a rescued greyhound
 
2013-04-25 04:00:05 PM  

GalFriday: A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.

This.
I got an email from 26 year-old PhD today with "you" spelled "u" and LOL and a smiley face in it.
I was like, "dude, you have a PhD, come on."


Might want to check that out with his university first.  We had a separated "Army officer" hire in as a civvy here.  Got a bad-conduct discharge a few years back (guy was about 130lbs overweight), and was never commissioned.  ALWAYS check credentials for academics, and special designations.  If he had a PhD, I'd love to see if it came from "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"
 
2013-04-25 04:02:36 PM  
Feh, showing up on time for stuff is for old people. I get there when I want, and people are happy to wait, because I'm awesome!

Now if only I could find a job in which "being awesome whenever the fark I feel like it" is the main qualification, I'd be set. And of course, it has to pay at least $60k a year, because anything less than that is not worth getting out of bed.
 
2013-04-25 04:05:14 PM  
A portion of every generation is functionally unemployable due to their strict adherence to pop culture elements that go against the main stream norms. How many young men in the 1960s do you think were unemployable due to their long hair, weird clothes, and their knack for saying, "Man" after every statement?

Nothing new to see here, same idea, just a different generation and different pop culture.
 
2013-04-25 04:07:01 PM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: GalFriday: A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.

This.
I got an email from 26 year-old PhD today with "you" spelled "u" and LOL and a smiley face in it.
I was like, "dude, you have a PhD, come on."

Might want to check that out with his university first.  We had a separated "Army officer" hire in as a civvy here.  Got a bad-conduct discharge a few years back (guy was about 130lbs overweight), and was never commissioned.  ALWAYS check credentials for academics, and special designations.  If he had a PhD, I'd love to see if it came from "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"


Everyone that works here has to complete an extensive background check.  So I know it is legit.  He is just an idiot.  Apparently they give PhD's to idiots.  You have to know the guy.
 
2013-04-25 04:08:51 PM  
Yup, we shore , we nee sumone ta teech them there yung people how ta reed and rite gud Inglish.
 
2013-04-25 04:11:53 PM  

GalFriday: NumberFiveIsAlive: GalFriday: A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.

This.
I got an email from 26 year-old PhD today with "you" spelled "u" and LOL and a smiley face in it.
I was like, "dude, you have a PhD, come on."

Might want to check that out with his university first.  We had a separated "Army officer" hire in as a civvy here.  Got a bad-conduct discharge a few years back (guy was about 130lbs overweight), and was never commissioned.  ALWAYS check credentials for academics, and special designations.  If he had a PhD, I'd love to see if it came from "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"

Everyone that works here has to complete an extensive background check.  So I know it is legit.  He is just an idiot.  Apparently they give PhD's to idiots.  You have to know the guy.


Not really.  The US Gov. gives rather high positions and pay to complete morons.  These morons all passed extensive background checks for decades even, had PhDs in whatever, some had military experience also.  The one thing they had in common was the ability to kiss the right ass at the right time.

/Why else pay someone 120K/year (my former boss) so he can tell you that you need to find your own mission, and then figure out how to do it on your own with zero resources and top-cover, and then tell you you're doing it wrong, and to try again every 2 months for several years.
//Yeah, that didn't go well.  Part of the reason why I'm headed out the door now
 
2013-04-25 04:15:18 PM  

tortilla burger: Many have a 'poor knowledge' of the company that they are applying to work for, and appear to have failed to research their potential future employer.Others are 'unable to answer why they want the job and what they want to do.'

For somebody with no experience in a particular industry, what exactly do you expect? There's no way a kid fresh out of school can tell you what they'll think of the job, or how their career will progress in a field they haven't even entered yet. And why does anyone want a job, really? Because I don't want to be a farking bum, that's why you nitwit.


Seriously - the reason anyone wants a job is simple: to get paid.
There may be variations, such as "this is the least horrible option I can think of in order to get paid" or "this might actually be a good way to get paid" or "I am so out of options, I'll take this because I need to get paid."  But at the end of the day, no matter what the job, or who it is, the end goal is simply: the paycheck.

To think it is anything else is ridiculous.  Nobody would work at a normal job if they weren't paid to do so.  I'd make music all day. I'd write. I'd paint. I'd garden. I'd go for long walks.  There are tons of things I could happily do without a paycheck because I love them. Everyone's list will vary, but you're not going to find  "I would spend my days in an office with windows that don't open, eating a crappy microwave lunch at my desk, doing work not related to anything I love" on someone's list of things they'd do for anything BUT the check.
 
2013-04-25 04:19:13 PM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: GalFriday: NumberFiveIsAlive: GalFriday: A Shambling Mound: This would be more amusing if it wasn't something I actually had to deal with on a daily basis.

This.
I got an email from 26 year-old PhD today with "you" spelled "u" and LOL and a smiley face in it.
I was like, "dude, you have a PhD, come on."

Might want to check that out with his university first.  We had a separated "Army officer" hire in as a civvy here.  Got a bad-conduct discharge a few years back (guy was about 130lbs overweight), and was never commissioned.  ALWAYS check credentials for academics, and special designations.  If he had a PhD, I'd love to see if it came from "West-South-Western Underwater Louisiana for Hurricane Katrina Victims University"

Not really.  The US Gov. gives rather high positions and pay to complete morons.  These morons all passed extensive background checks for decades even, had PhDs in whatever, some had military experience also.  The one thing they had in common was the ability to kiss the right ass at the right time.

/Why else pay someone 120K/year (my former boss) so he can tell you that you need to find your own mission, and then figure out how to do it on your own with zero resources and top-cover, and then tell you you're doing it wrong, and to try again every 2 months for several years.
//Yeah, that didn't go well.  Part of the reason why I'm headed out the door now


 I work in a DNA lab and we do testing for law enforcement agencies all over the world.  So, in order to work here, we underwent the background checks where they go talk to your old neighbors and take your DNA and all of that.  They even interviewed two ex-boyfriends of mine before I could work here, and I am former prosecutor.
 
2013-04-25 04:19:26 PM  
Serpent Sky,
Exactly.  I need a paycheck.  I have 12 years in IT, but I'd be willing to do most other jobs as well if they paid me enough to pay bills, rent, and buy food.

/Milk cows
//Sheer sheep
///Pluck chickens...
//Ok Phil, you'll be hearing from us...
 
2013-04-25 04:19:54 PM  

Lemurknits: The scam jobs that contact you are just disgusting. It seems like every insurance agency, MLM and terrible canvassing job just wants to chew through yet another poor sap who takes that job.


Do people actually answer them? I received a poorly written acceptance letter for a job doing god-knows-what (I honestly couldn't figure out what the supposed position was. Well, I think it was for me. They spelled my last name incorrectly in the e-mail. But I'm sure I'll be making that $6600 per week in 1-3 hours a day in NO time.

/Gonna be rich!
 
2013-04-25 04:20:35 PM  
Yes. Young people are unreasonable for expecting a salary that actually covers their bills and student loans and still allows them to eat

Silly students.
 
2013-04-25 04:20:56 PM  
Yeah, guys in black suits scared the shiat out of my mother when they were doing my background check.  She thought that I died or something...
 
2013-04-25 04:27:02 PM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: Serpent Sky,
Exactly.  I need a paycheck.  I have 12 years in IT, but I'd be willing to do most other jobs as well if they paid me enough to pay bills, rent, and buy food.


BE CAREFUL.

I'm serious. I've found out recently that even though I went to school for writing and have an extensive background in copywriting, editing, and proofreading, nobody wants to take a chance on someone "making a career change" because I took a job a few years ago to pay the bills.  It wasn't my plan to stay here as long as I have, but the market hasn't been good, and it's steady work. I'd much rather be doing what I went to school for, and what I at least get some enjoyment out of, and people act as if I magically forgot how to write copy or edit the written word.

I actually have no idea how to get out of this situation, especially since I'm currently doing legal-type work, but don't have a degree in law (or even a paralegal certificate) and therefore, don't really cut it in moving up in fields that would be less of a "career change."

Thus, be careful when doing "just anything" because I've heard from a few people around my age (mid 30s) that this is a common issue. Recruiters are looking only at what the person is doing NOW, as opposed to the whole resume, and it's really difficult for anyone who basically had to step out of their field in order to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads.  I had a bit of a breakdown on Monday night when I realized I'd probably have been better off going on unemployment when the staff was laid off at my old job, instead of being what I thought was a responsible adult and taking a job to pay the bills.  It seems wrong, but that's what's happening, at least on the East Coast.
 
2013-04-25 04:41:36 PM  
Many have a 'poor knowledge' of the company that they are applying to work for, and appear to have failed to research their potential future employer.

/guitily raises hand.  I didn't even know the name of the last company I worked for when I showed up for the interview.  They called on Friday while I was packing to move and set up an appointment for Monday.  The ad had been very cagey about giving details but it met my qualifications to a tee so I figured what the heck.  The guy just gave me an address and a floor but no company name so I'm figuring it's going to be some shady operation and I'll just go for laughs.  I didn't even bother to google the address to see if I could find the name.  Ended up being a very  unshady publishing company where I worked for the next five years until my psuedo-retirement.
 
2013-04-25 04:55:59 PM  
GalFriday:

Everyone that works here has to complete an extensive background check.  So I know it is legit.  He is just an idiot.  Apparently they give PhD's to idiots.

I work in higher education. After 15 years of working with and for clueless Ph.D.s, my axiom has become  "Does the guy have a Ph.D.? Then he's most likely an idiot. Deal with someone else in the department."

There are some faculty members who are delightful and smart and personable and yet still possess a Ph.D. But invariably, they are either younger, female, or both. The older guys? Forget it. They have ONE thing they can do, and it is the one thing they will do to the exclusion of all else. I will maintain til the day I die that one of our physics professors would, if he dropped a jar of pickles in front of the fridge, drop everything to calculate the trajectory of the pickles in free fall, so as to be able to determine to what extent they would affect the glass spread from the point of impact. Whereas people without a Ph.D. in physics would just clean up the damned pickles and broken glass.

And just to steer this back to the topic: wearing street clothes to work? No worries, if you work in higher education. The geology professors wear shorts 365 days a year. They'll deign to wear socks with their Tevas or Birkenstocks if it snows. The CS professors, unlike their students, may actually bathe on a regular basis, but that is a fairly recent development. So yeah, wear whatever you want, show up whenever you want -- if you work in higher education, it's not an issue.

Oh, wait: you wanted a job paying over 50K to start? Let me laugh harder.  I've been here for 15 years in various positions, most recently as a database administrator. I just cracked the 40K mark a few years back, just before they froze our salaries for the past 5 years.
 
2013-04-25 04:56:15 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: SithLord: StickyBunBandit: How long before "Idiocracy" becomes reality?

We've already elected Obama, so there's that.

And if he has his way, this country will have 100% unemployment, so hiring will no longer be an issue!  YAY


I misread that as "at least 100% unemployment" and thought, "Oh goodie! Now we have doubleplus
unemployment!"
 
2013-04-25 04:56:45 PM  

iheartscotch: Regular street clothes for boomers consist of a button-down shirt, dress slacks and dress shoes, possibly a tie. If you wear that stuff regularly; you'll be alright. I'm just saying you might want to save your favorite MEGADEATH shirt for some other time.


Probably a good idea. Wearing a band shirt is bad enough, much less one that is misspelled.
 
2013-04-25 04:57:39 PM  

Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.


Well yeah, because no one would want to work at a place where such jackassery was common.
 
2013-04-25 04:58:11 PM  

NumberFiveIsAlive: Lemurknits: The scam jobs that contact you are just disgusting. It seems like every insurance agency, MLM and terrible canvassing job just wants to chew through yet another poor sap who takes that job.

Do you have any superior officers or friends who know anyone in the IT world? That could give you a leg up in finding a job.

Assuming you're talking to me, yes and no.  Lots of people I know in IT here are finding other jobs elsewhere, and thanks to child custody issues I have to stay here in the area for just a bit longer.  That, and finding an IT job outside is a lot different (expectations) than what the DoD gets you used to.

/Job transition sucks
//Crazy ex's suck worse.  TONS of jobs just an hour south of here, but I can't move.  Yet...


That sucks so hard. I hope you find something soon. My dad was in the military until I was 10, and has remained in the Guard/Reserves ever since. I know how hard it is to transition out.
/First Dad was a stockbroker
//Then a Security guard
///Now a cop
 
2013-04-25 05:03:01 PM  

YixilTesiphon: Lemurknits: And don't forget the utterly bizarre rules some enforce. For instance, I applied to work for a non-profit that works to end greyhound racing. I didn't know until the interview that the entire office was vegan. All lunches brought in had to be vegan. The ever living hell?

...Do they know what dogs eat?


Please no bestiality stories...
 
2013-04-25 05:06:40 PM  

aspAddict: NumberFiveIsAlive: //Need job in IT.  Not expecting 100K/year, but I need to at least be able to make rent and buy food for the family.

Not trying to violate Fark's TOS or anything, but have you checked into TekSystems? They're an IT recruiting agency, they have been SUPERB in my experience. They actually call/follow up/seem to care about placing people. It could just be my local team, but I am really impressed with their efforts. They landed me a position with a good company and got me WAY more salary than I was expecting - which is always nice. :)

Incidentally, my computer name is "JOHNNY5" so I', diggin' your Fark handle...


It's your local team, or at least, it's variable across the company.  Every time I've dealt with a different recruiter at either the Milwaukee or Appleton office (because they never seem to stick around) I have to teach them what Linux is and how it differs from Windows, explain to them how a diverse resume generally means that you're good at learning new technologies quickly (rather than magically being in possession of all fifteen skills a company is looking for) and how (for example) if a company is looking for someone to administer 250 servers, someone who has experience with 100-150 is _just_ as suitable (because once you get past a dozen or so you start scripting everything and at that point you can scale it quickly).  You get the feeling they're just trying to check off the requirement boxes and aren't going to make any effort to "sell" you to the client, and if I wanted that I'd just skip the middleman and deal directly with the HR drones.
 
2013-04-25 05:07:26 PM  

Fano: "You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.

Well yeah, because no one would want to work at a place where such jackassery was common.


Seriously.

I mean, I always have a pen in my bag, but I write a lot. If it were a male who doesn't carry a bag, a pen may be impractical. (Do men carry pens everywhere they go? I'd think it would be annoying to shove a pen in your pocket as opposed to a bag or purse that has room for such things....)

But ignoring that, why on earth would you give someone hell for not having a pen? Maybe they brought a copy of their resume and felt that would be sufficient and your attitude chased away an excellent candidate/potential employee.
 
2013-04-25 05:16:13 PM  

serpent_sky: NumberFiveIsAlive: Serpent Sky,
Exactly.  I need a paycheck.  I have 12 years in IT, but I'd be willing to do most other jobs as well if they paid me enough to pay bills, rent, and buy food.

BE CAREFUL.

I'm serious. I've found out recently that even though I went to school for writing and have an extensive background in copywriting, editing, and proofreading, nobody wants to take a chance on someone "making a career change" because I took a job a few years ago to pay the bills.  It wasn't my plan to stay here as long as I have, but the market hasn't been good, and it's steady work. I'd much rather be doing what I went to school for, and what I at least get some enjoyment out of, and people act as if I magically forgot how to write copy or edit the written word.

I actually have no idea how to get out of this situation, especially since I'm currently doing legal-type work, but don't have a degree in law (or even a paralegal certificate) and therefore, don't really cut it in moving up in fields that would be less of a "career change."

Thus, be careful when doing "just anything" because I've heard from a few people around my age (mid 30s) that this is a common issue. Recruiters are looking only at what the person is doing NOW, as opposed to the whole resume, and it's really difficult for anyone who basically had to step out of their field in order to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads.  I had a bit of a breakdown on Monday night when I realized I'd probably have been better off going on unemployment when the staff was laid off at my old job, instead of being what I thought was a responsible adult and taking a job to pay the bills.  It seems wrong, but that's what's happening, at least on the East Coast.


Depending on how long the "taking a non career job to pay the bills" situation was, some would argue to leave it off the resume entirely.  It's not a point by point job history - it's a list of your experience that's relevant to the position you're applying for.  You don't put your teenage McDonald's job on there, do you?  Chances are good the gap in employment will come up in the interview process, so just deal with it at that point.  They won't - or shouldn't - hold it against you any more than if you took two years off and lived off savings to care for your dying parent or something.  And if they do, do you want to work for them, yadda yadda.
And I'm willing to bet you're going to find that the behavior mentioned above - you're only qualified for what you did most recently - is going to be just as ephemeral an experience as the whole "we don't hire unemployed people" thing was a year or two ago.  It was a solution a few/some asshole recruiters had hit upon to make it simple to cull the herd, but eventually SO many job hunters fell into that category it was working against the companies - after a while all the candidates see you as yet another stepping stone rather than a job they want to drop anchor at.
 
2013-04-25 05:16:32 PM  
The prick hiring managers in this thread are either the most uptight assholes I've ever come across, or the best farking trolls I have ever seen.
 
2013-04-25 05:19:23 PM  

Jerkwater: Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.

Yeah, I would have left too, muttering "thank God I didn't wind up working for that asshole...".

/lighten up, francis


Exactly. When you use such random measures for dismissing potential employees you're going to end up hiring randomly as well. I hate working for people that lack basic reasoning skills.
 
2013-04-25 05:21:27 PM  
I'm the application triage guy for the university library.  I get to read all the incoming workstudy student applications, and pass on the "best" ones for further review.  It's not unusual to have 750+ applications for ~25 positions at the beginning of the fall semester.  Granted, there are a lot of bad ones, but I have yet to get more than two txt-speak applications in a single semester.  Spelling errors on the other hand...
 
2013-04-25 05:28:51 PM  
I had to fire a 20 something last month because she continually slipped off to the bathroom or back room to talk or text on her phone. Retail pharmacy has no place for slackers.
 
2013-04-25 05:33:01 PM  

fappomatic: STFU, GAFAJ!


i.ytimg.com

You get a goddamn job before sundown, or we're shipping you off to military school with the goddamn Finkelstein shiat kid! Son of a biatch!
 
2013-04-25 05:34:13 PM  
Bullsh*t. Employers are just looking for any excuse not to hire younger people, especially those fresh out of college.
Why?
Because they're such cheap f*cking bastards that they would rather leave a position open for months while the other employees take up the slack, even though someone else is desperately needed, that they don't want to take any time at all to train that college grad. In their perfect world people would be like car parts... one fails, get another one, install it and drive away.
People aren't like that, and not giving these potential employees their chance is a waste
/really wish they would f*cking hire someone else here
//this sh*t is getting on my nerves
 
2013-04-25 05:37:13 PM  

OniNeko: The prick hiring managers in this thread are either the most uptight assholes I've ever come across, or the best farking trolls I have ever seen.


I don't think it's trolling, I remember back when I was in high school they brought in a couple HR guys to talk to us about getting a job, one of them was also hung up on absolutely having a pen with you at all times. The other generally brought potential candidates with him to lunch, if they added any salt to their lunch before tasting it first, they didn't get the job.

/Getting the job is as much knowing what makes the person who is interviewing you tick as it is having the right skill set.
 
2013-04-25 05:37:52 PM  

Macular Degenerate: A portion of every generation is functionally unemployable due to their strict adherence to pop culture elements that go against the main stream norms. How many young men in the 1960s do you think were unemployable due to their long hair, weird clothes, and their knack for saying, "Man" after every statement?

Nothing new to see here, same idea, just a different generation and different pop culture.


Probably, but it's still amusing to mock them. For those of us who don't watch reality television for our daily dose of "at least I'm smarter than these assholes."
 
2013-04-25 05:38:44 PM  

taliesinwi: s
Depending on how long the "taking a non career job to pay the bills" situation was, some would argue to leave it off the resume entirely.  It's not a point by point job history - it's a list of your experience that's relevant to the position ...


For me, it's almost 5 years now.  I didn't mind the work, and there was so little out there for so long, I sort of settled in, not quite realizing that there was even a chance someone would think my ability to write would change over that time period.  (I would dare say I was also optimistic that being a specialist in something very few people know about felt like job security and something that would help me earn decent money long term. I was incorrect.)   It would be quite the gap to leave hanging on the resume, I'm afraid.

I'll figure something out, I'm sure, but it's frustrating since I know I am not the only one being turned away from jobs I'm perfectly qualified to do because I had to deviate during "the great recession".   One of the things I know is I can learn just about anything (but math or science... please don't ask me to do math or science) and excel at it.  I've tried to make that the "framework" for what I have done the past few years - that I walked in knowing nothing and became an expert (though in slightly less self-important terms.) I guess I have to work on advertising that skill better. :)
 
2013-04-25 05:42:21 PM  

Endive Wombat: When I used to manage restaurants, we would hire almost anyone.  The thought process was this - If you are willing to learn, we can turn you into a fine/upscale dining waiter or waitress.  I really did not discriminate based off the clothes they wore, often because they would simply come in for an application and if I or another manager was free, we'd often asked them if we could interview them on the spot.  That being said...

If you came in and asked to fill out an application and also asked for a pen...yeah...no, we are not hiring you.  I learned this mentality from another manager that I worked with in the past.  His philosophy was that to get a job as a waiter, all you really need is to not look like you are strung out and on a week long binger,  wear somewhat appropriate clothing, and HAVE A FARKING PEN ON YOU TO FILL OUT THE DAMN APP!!!

So when someone came in for a job application and asked for a pen, we answered this way:

"Why do you not have a pen on you if you knew you were job hunting today?  Look, I will give you a pen, I have to let you fill out the application by law, but I can tell you this much, I will not be reviewing your app or calling you back to schedule an interview."

Often they would look confused and ask why, to which we would respond:

"You came in here with the express purpose of filling out a job application, aside from making yourself presentable, your only other requirement is to fill out the app...the fact that you lack the foresight to understand that you need a pen shows me that you are ill equipped to handle even the most mundane of tasks here."

99/100 times they would just leave.


I probably would have filled out the App then made off with the pen. After telling them that "I haven't used such a primitive form of information input in 4 years.  I need to take it with me to add to my personal museum of obsolete hardware."
 
2013-04-25 05:45:08 PM  
Like, I *totally* grew up in like the 80's and like it totally didn't affect my ability to like speak or anything, okay?  We like turned out okay, so like this generation should have *totally* no issues.  OMG
 
2013-04-25 05:46:40 PM  
These youngsters will be the perfect people to communicate with Kim Jung Un.
 
2013-04-25 05:47:53 PM  

MonoChango: I probably would have filled out the App then made off with the pen. After telling them that "I haven't used such a primitive form of information input in 4 years. I need to take it with me to add to my personal museum of obsolete hardware."


They'd probably try to have you arrested for theft of said pen.
 
2013-04-25 05:47:56 PM  

mikemil828: OniNeko: The prick hiring managers in this thread are either the most uptight assholes I've ever come across, or the best farking trolls I have ever seen.

I don't think it's trolling, I remember back when I was in high school they brought in a couple HR guys to talk to us about getting a job, one of them was also hung up on absolutely having a pen with you at all times. The other generally brought potential candidates with him to lunch, if they added any salt to their lunch before tasting it first, they didn't get the job.

/Getting the job is as much knowing what makes the person who is interviewing you tick as it is having the right skill set.


I'm more talking about the guy that offered a guy a job for a little under 20k/year, 60 hours a week, then rescinded the offer when the eager-to-work applicant agreed to those terms.

That salt thing at least makes a bit of sense. I'm seriously offended if I cook someone a meal and they put something on it without tasting it. How the hell do they know what it needs without tasting it?

Regarding pens, a little less sense there. I always go prepared with my own pen because I like how it works and I know it isn't out of ink. However, I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that a manager would keep some cheap Bic pens next to the stack of applications.
 
2013-04-25 05:49:47 PM  
I found a great content writer here on Fark.  This is an excellent place to find keyboard contract labor.
 
2013-04-25 06:01:26 PM  

Hermione_Granger: Yes. Young people are unreasonable for expecting a salary that actually covers their bills and student loans and still allows them to eat

Silly students.


Yes, ask them why they didn't plan their academic career around acquiring the skills they would need to land a job that would compensate them enough money to cover their costs.  And if their plan didn't make sense, ask them why they went to college.
 
2013-04-25 06:12:12 PM  

mikemil828: OniNeko: The prick hiring managers in this thread are either the most uptight assholes I've ever come across, or the best farking trolls I have ever seen.

I don't think it's trolling, I remember back when I was in high school they brought in a couple HR guys to talk to us about getting a job, one of them was also hung up on absolutely having a pen with you at all times. The other generally brought potential candidates with him to lunch, if they added any salt to their lunch before tasting it first, they didn't get the job.

/Getting the job is as much knowing what makes the person who is interviewing you tick as it is having the right skill set.


The salt one I've heard before, I thought about mentioning it when stating that the pen question was crap. I get the reasoning, it's just arbitrary standards like this take on a magical life of their own. I'm sure if you have to interview dozens of people a day it's helpful to have a heuristic to toss more applications in the round file.
 
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