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(STLToday)   Five-year-old joins MENSA. "He started reading when he was 18-months-old," Dorman said. "He was sitting on the porta-potty reading a newspaper"   (stltoday.com) divider line 169
    More: Spiffy, Rob Dorman, Mensa, Collinsville, gifted students, Illinois State Board of Education, Edwardsville, school year  
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6295 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2013 at 7:31 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-24 06:19:04 PM
Reading at 18 months? Big deal...I got him beat by three.

As for MENSA...whatever. I got asked to join during grade school after I apparently blew the lid off of some standardized test I didn't even remember taking. But I didn't, because I figured out that they just wanted the novelty of having a kid in their chapter, or whatever they call it. Besides, at the time, membership entitled you to nothing. Nothing except being able to say you were a member, which pretty much just made you a snobby, narcissistic asshole in just about every context.

Not to mention that half my teachers already treated me like some sort of golden child savant they were afraid to touch, and the other half abused the hell out of me every time I screwed up. "Hmph. So much for the 'kid genius.' I thought you were suposed to be 'smart'?" Yeah, thanks.

Good luck, kid. Growing up different is AWESOME. Nobody will EVER resent you, or pick on you, or expect miracles...then express disappointment when you don't write a definitive thesis on quantum physics before you sprout so much as pube one.
 
2013-04-24 06:23:54 PM
I lost all respect for MENSA when a girlfriend of mine bragged about being a member.

Contrary to her own belief, she was about as bright as a stump. I just assumed they accepted her for the same reason I did: she was hot and had fantastic tits.
 
2013-04-24 06:35:28 PM

MaxxLarge: Reading at 18 months? Big deal...I got him beat by three.

As for MENSA...whatever. I got asked to join during grade school after I apparently blew the lid off of some standardized test I didn't even remember taking. But I didn't, because I figured out that they just wanted the novelty of having a kid in their chapter, or whatever they call it. Besides, at the time, membership entitled you to nothing. Nothing except being able to say you were a member, which pretty much just made you a snobby, narcissistic asshole in just about every context.

Not to mention that half my teachers already treated me like some sort of golden child savant they were afraid to touch, and the other half abused the hell out of me every time I screwed up. "Hmph. So much for the 'kid genius.' I thought you were suposed to be 'smart'?" Yeah, thanks.

Good luck, kid. Growing up different is AWESOME. Nobody will EVER resent you, or pick on you, or expect miracles...then express disappointment when you don't write a definitive thesis on quantum physics before you sprout so much as pube one.


That's good, but I would have preferred it in limerick form.
 
2013-04-24 06:37:20 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: That's good, but I would have preferred it in limerick form.


Sorry. This is all I have for you today:

hostmypicture.com
 
2013-04-24 06:44:09 PM
Yeah well I was reading at 18 months and programming in basic at 2.5 on a c64. But thanks to my idiot parents deciding not to put me in school, an the wonderfully unforgiving American college situation, I didn't get jack shiat for an education an can look forward to living in Tennessee and making 31k/yr the rest of my life.  Don't even have a diploma or ged.
 
2013-04-24 06:48:19 PM

Livingroom: Don't even have a diploma or ged.


Living in TN, this is actually and advantage, that way folks won't think you are all citified and uppity.
 
2013-04-24 06:49:11 PM
A prodigy child name of Maxx

Thrilled folks with his knowledge of facts

He eschewed all their tests

Thinking time was spent best

With the making of rhyming wisecracks
 
2013-04-24 07:01:51 PM
porta-potty?
 
2013-04-24 07:18:49 PM
Oh, shiat.  You've been tagged as "special"

good luck, kid
 
2013-04-24 07:25:15 PM
Reading the newspaper on the potty at 18 months... meh, if the kid was so smart, why didn't he toilet train himself?
 
2013-04-24 07:34:52 PM
IQ does not work that way. Good night.
 
2013-04-24 07:34:56 PM
Didn't someone say they did this every few months to stay in the news?  Is this a repeat, or is this a new genius?

Lionel Mandrake: Oh, shiat.  You've been tagged as "special"

good luck, kid


This.
 
2013-04-24 07:35:05 PM
Ah, a Mensa thread, where people will soon start posting their IQ "numbers," oblivious that actual psych IQ tests deal in percentiles, as scores vary widely by test.

/my IQ is 225!//on a test with 500 points///repeat til nauseates
 
2013-04-24 07:35:10 PM
He'll be sending ricin-laced envelopes to elected officials when he's 7?
 
2013-04-24 07:35:13 PM
I bet he is a smart ass and a know-it-all - Probably tough to be around
 
2013-04-24 07:35:18 PM
This thread attracted a lot of self-pity in a hurry.

*puts on Oroville Redenbacher costume*
 
2013-04-24 07:36:34 PM
good luck kid...
your parents will now expect miracles from you and push you to do things you don't want to do just so they can brag about it
your classmates will resent you
your teachers will single you out
do yourself a favor and keep it to yourself. better yet, drop the membership, the magazines are crap anyway.
 
2013-04-24 07:37:28 PM
Oh goody. It this one of those threads where everyone comes and lies about how high their IQ is?
 
2013-04-24 07:38:15 PM
Unless he's also handsome, he's going to be treated like a freak.
 
2013-04-24 07:38:27 PM
...has to be at the jungle gym in 26 minutes.
 
2013-04-24 07:38:54 PM
Poor kid. A lifetime of over-expectation from parents and teachers. Pressure to perform perform perform....

My kids still think they can hide behind the towel rack, with their legs sticking out.
 
2013-04-24 07:38:55 PM
5 years old is a little young for a boy to get his period.
 
2013-04-24 07:39:50 PM

MaxxLarge: Reading at 18 months? Big deal...I got him beat by three.

As for MENSA...whatever. I got asked to join during grade school after I apparently blew the lid off of some standardized test I didn't even remember taking. But I didn't, because I figured out that they just wanted the novelty of having a kid in their chapter, or whatever they call it. Besides, at the time, membership entitled you to nothing. Nothing except being able to say you were a member, which pretty much just made you a snobby, narcissistic asshole in just about every context.

Not to mention that half my teachers already treated me like some sort of golden child savant they were afraid to touch, and the other half abused the hell out of me every time I screwed up. "Hmph. So much for the 'kid genius.' I thought you were suposed to be 'smart'?" Yeah, thanks.

Good luck, kid. Growing up different is AWESOME. Nobody will EVER resent you, or pick on you, or expect miracles...then express disappointment when you don't write a definitive thesis on quantum physics before you sprout so much as pube one.


You are a God who walks amongst men. We are not worthy.
 
2013-04-24 07:41:22 PM

MaxxLarge: Reading at 18 months? Big deal...I got him beat by three.

As for MENSA...whatever. I got asked to join during grade school after I apparently blew the lid off of some standardized test I didn't even remember taking. But I didn't, because I figured out that they just wanted the novelty of having a kid in their chapter, or whatever they call it. Besides, at the time, membership entitled you to nothing. Nothing except being able to say you were a member, which pretty much just made you a snobby, narcissistic asshole in just about every context.

Not to mention that half my teachers already treated me like some sort of golden child savant they were afraid to touch, and the other half abused the hell out of me every time I screwed up. "Hmph. So much for the 'kid genius.' I thought you were suposed to be 'smart'?" Yeah, thanks.

Good luck, kid. Growing up different is AWESOME. Nobody will EVER resent you, or pick on you, or expect miracles...then express disappointment when you don't write a definitive thesis on quantum physics before you sprout so much as pube one.


could you do us all a tiny favor Mrs .Uber Mensch and post the evidence of this?

thanks, we all await your reply.

/bullshiat
//AW is successful AW
 
2013-04-24 07:41:31 PM
I could read when I was still a sperm.
 
2013-04-24 07:41:59 PM

abhorrent1: Oh goody. It this one of those threads where everyone comes and lies about how high their IQ is?


MaxxLarge: Reading at 18 months? Big deal...I got him beat by three.

As for MENSA...whatever. I got asked to join during grade school after I apparently blew the lid off of some standardized test I didn't even remember taking. But I didn't, because I figured out that they just wanted the novelty of having a kid in their chapter, or whatever they call it. Besides, at the time, membership entitled you to nothing. Nothing except being able to say you were a member, which pretty much just made you a snobby, narcissistic asshole in just about every context.

Not to mention that half my teachers already treated me like some sort of golden child savant they were afraid to touch, and the other half abused the hell out of me every time I screwed up. "Hmph. So much for the 'kid genius.' I thought you were suposed to be 'smart'?" Yeah, thanks.

Good luck, kid. Growing up different is AWESOME. Nobody will EVER resent you, or pick on you, or expect miracles...then express disappointment when you don't write a definitive thesis on quantum physics before you sprout so much as pube one.


Oh crap, that was faster than I thought. Don't you need to be at the physics lab in 26 minutes, braniac?
 
2013-04-24 07:42:06 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-24 07:42:36 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: 5 years old is a little young for a boy to get his period.


Every year, kids enter mensa younger and younger. I think it's related to soybeans.
 
2013-04-24 07:43:45 PM
znculturecast.files.wordpress.com

And this is supposed to impress me?
 
2013-04-24 07:44:53 PM
I knew, I knew it, I knew it!

bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com
 
2013-04-24 07:45:53 PM

abhorrent1: Oh goody. It this one of those threads where everyone comes and lies about how high their IQ is?


No, this is the thread where everyone comes in a talks about how smart their little snowflakes are.
 
2013-04-24 07:46:01 PM
I was invited to join and they chose "nerd night" to try to entice me to join. It was more of a colour clashing social mutant with lack of hygiene issues night. Rather terrifying.

Their IQ tests to get in (with the $25) was dubious. My mother corrected three of the questions.
 
2013-04-24 07:47:58 PM
The only true knowledge is that we know nothing.
 
2013-04-24 07:48:04 PM

cretinbob: porta-potty?


Apparently he already had a job in construction.
 
2013-04-24 07:49:13 PM

MaxxLarge: Reading at 18 months? Big deal...I got him beat by three.

As for MENSA...whatever. I got asked to join during grade school after I apparently blew the lid off of some standardized test I didn't even remember taking. But I didn't, because I figured out that they just wanted the novelty of having a kid in their chapter, or whatever they call it. Besides, at the time, membership entitled you to nothing. Nothing except being able to say you were a member, which pretty much just made you a snobby, narcissistic asshole in just about every context.

Not to mention that half my teachers already treated me like some sort of golden child savant they were afraid to touch, and the other half abused the hell out of me every time I screwed up. "Hmph. So much for the 'kid genius.' I thought you were suposed to be 'smart'?" Yeah, thanks.

Good luck, kid. Growing up different is AWESOME. Nobody will EVER resent you, or pick on you, or expect miracles...then express disappointment when you don't write a definitive thesis on quantum physics before you sprout so much as pube one.


THIS.

/got asked when I was 5... I asked them what the minimum IQ requirement was, and they told me, and I laughed...
 
2013-04-24 07:49:17 PM
It's called MENSA because, if everything else fails, you can wait TABLES.
 
2013-04-24 07:49:41 PM

gilgigamesh: I lost all respect for MENSA when a girlfriend of mine bragged about being a member.

Contrary to her own belief, she was about as bright as a stump. I just assumed they accepted her for the same reason I did: she was hot and had fantastic tits.


You lie. Unless you have pics to prove it...
 
2013-04-24 07:52:07 PM
I really hope that my kids are slightly above average. I don't want to raise a special child. I was one of them - not that I am not a genius, but intelligent enough, but I was manipulative and cunning. I did plenty to be in trouble for and never got punished. I realize how much of a shiat I was and I really do not want to get mixed in with that mess if I am raising a version of myself. Raising someone like me would be exhausting (probably why my parents essentially quit.) Hopefully I'm smart enough to keep ahead of a child that may take after me. Or that my husband is. Maybe between the two of us, we won't get run ragged by children.
 
2013-04-24 07:52:10 PM

BitwiseShift: It's called MENSA because, if everything else fails, you can wait TABLES.


You win.
 
2013-04-24 07:52:35 PM
as a MENSA member, i'm getting a kick.
 
2013-04-24 07:52:44 PM
Harrumph. If he was that special he wouldn't need a porta-potty.
 
2013-04-24 07:53:23 PM
Dear Mensa

I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me but...here goes...

I was delivering Pizza when....etc etc


sure are a lot of bogus genius types in this thread. show your work.
show us what makes you a genius.
 
2013-04-24 07:56:03 PM
For the rest of us:

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-24 07:59:00 PM
Father doesn't want to send his son to private school because he pays school tax already and wants his kid to attend the same school he did.

Maybe be flexible on some of your principles.
 
2013-04-24 08:00:48 PM
This proves you are unworthy because you needed student loans and you shouldn't save for your kids college tuition. Unless you graduate high school at nine, get a full ride to MIT and land your PhD before your first legally purchase beer, you should just give up and be a ditch-digger.
 
2013-04-24 08:01:43 PM
Pocket Ninja from about two months ago:

"Remember, if you want to boast about the enormous size of your IQ in one of these threads, there are certain standards and procedures that you need to follow lest people think you're some sort of insufferable braggart. First of all, you need to begin your IQ statement with some sort of declaimer explaining that you don't really care about your IQ. Something like, "I'm not really sure that it means all that much," or "I've never really placed much stock in this, but," or something like that. You could also go a slightly different path, acknowledging that your IQ is perhaps not quite as high as that of others, but that you were hung over/sick/distracted/bored when you took the test and so almost certainly didn't score as high as you otherwise might. Be careful to not overplay this hand, especially if others have already used something similar.

When you get to the actual number, it's generally best to express it as a range. Like, saying "I scored a 147" would possibly be impressive, except that, like in the Price is Right when some asshat comes in on the initial bid and goes one dollar over your offer and wins as a result, it's too easy to top. So, keeping it somewhat vague (I scored in the 140s-150s range, but the administrator said there were some irregularities that might have meant I actually scored much higher, etc.) works to your advantage. It's also a good idea to hang back in the thread a bit, wait to see if there some general field of scores being posted, and remain within striking distance of that so that you don't sound too out there. For example, if everyone is placing themselves in the 150-160 range, you might come in the upper 160s. Don't blow the field by more than a few points, though; you're likely to find yourself a target.

Self-hobbling is another great technique to make yourself seem more realistic when it comes to your high IQ score. By this, I mean claiming some sort of amusing defect that you must live with on a daily basis despite being "gifted" with such an enormous intellect. For example, you might be someone with a 180 IQ who can't, for the life of him, change his car oil. And you might sentimentalize a bit about it, must on how sometimes you think it would be a good thing to be just slightly less perceptive, slightly less intelligent, if only you could get your hands around some of the "common sense," "nitty gritty" know how that the less intellectually endowed sometimes seem to have. It doesn't have to be mechanical skills, of course. Maybe you're forgetful, always misplacing your keys. Maybe you're just  terrible with names. Be creative, that's what you do.
"

/Loves me some Pocket Ninja....
 
2013-04-24 08:03:56 PM
When I took the GMAT just before my BASc graduation I had a "smart day" and scored pretty high. I was offered entrance into the business school I wanted with a partial scholarship (but then I realized I had no interest in business school) and also Mensa asked me to join out of the blue. It seemed pretty clear they were trolling for members and I kinda lost whatever respect I had for them at that point.
 
2013-04-24 08:04:03 PM
99.998er
I knew, I knew it, I knew it!


That the mom would be a Cardinals fan?
 
2013-04-24 08:05:15 PM

MaxxLarge: Not to mention that half my teachers already treated me like some sort of golden child savant they were afraid to touch, and the other half abused the hell out of me every time I screwed up. "Hmph. So much for the 'kid genius.' I thought you were supposed to be 'smart'?" Yeah, thanks.


Mine had me grade their tests. Some genius I was, there are teachers at my old grade school now making over $100K a year, and not one of them paid me diddly squat.
 
2013-04-24 08:07:21 PM

MaxxLarge: Reading at 18 months? Big deal...I got him beat by three.

As for MENSA...whatever. I got asked to join during grade school after I apparently blew the lid off of some standardized test I didn't even remember taking. But I didn't, because I figured out that they just wanted the novelty of having a kid in their chapter, or whatever they call it. Besides, at the time, membership entitled you to nothing. Nothing except being able to say you were a member, which pretty much just made you a snobby, narcissistic asshole in just about every context.

Not to mention that half my teachers already treated me like some sort of golden child savant they were afraid to touch, and the other half abused the hell out of me every time I screwed up. "Hmph. So much for the 'kid genius.' I thought you were suposed to be 'smart'?" Yeah, thanks.

Good luck, kid. Growing up different is AWESOME. Nobody will EVER resent you, or pick on you, or expect miracles...then express disappointment when you don't write a definitive thesis on quantum physics before you sprout so much as pube one.


Yeah, but he'll be on big bang theory in a few months and bang kaley cuoco and buy a chain restaurant by the time you were figuring out which end of the toothpaste tube to put tha caqp back on.
He's got me beat by two months AND a hot mom.
 
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