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(FilmDrunk)   Will Smith + M. Night Shyamalan = dopey voiceover galore   (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) divider line 47
    More: Silly, M. Night Shyamalan, Will Smith, Rebecca Black, first humans, Vin Diesel, Babylon A.D.  
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3310 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Apr 2013 at 12:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-24 11:35:40 AM
I saw that trailer yesterday. Wow. The level of evolutionary derp in that movie is just...potato.
 
2013-04-24 11:40:17 AM
The twist on this one is that it's all actually taking place up M. Night Shyamalan's ass.
 
2013-04-24 11:47:23 AM
We used to celebrate our planet, once a year, on Earth Earf Day.

FTFT
 
2013-04-24 11:53:40 AM
after earf?
 
2013-04-24 12:15:53 PM
In a world without hope, without nepotism....
 
2013-04-24 12:43:56 PM
 
2013-04-24 12:44:46 PM
I didn't know  M. Night Shyamalan  was a Scientologist
 
2013-04-24 12:46:15 PM
won't watch any other movie with the Smith kid since the abomination that was 'the day earth stood still...' remake...
 
2013-04-24 12:58:31 PM

bdub77: I saw that trailer yesterday. Wow. The level of evolutionary derp in that movie is just...potato.


The moive has an interesting concept.  I took the trailer to mean that life evolved to attack humans while humans were still working on leaving the planet. Still, that does require some sort of metaphysical explanation (some kind of Gaia or Pandora concept).  That and the high level of change needs a mutation backstory as well.
 
2013-04-24 01:00:55 PM
Are they even marketing this as Shyamalan's film? I caught one crap-ass preview for it and had no idea.
 
2013-04-24 01:01:39 PM
The twist? It's tied to Oblivion and they are really clones.
 
2013-04-24 01:02:37 PM
I have not been that put off by a trailer since Sex in the City
 
2013-04-24 01:02:56 PM
Meh. The whole thing looks like nothing more than a vehicle to help launch the career of his kid with lots of CGI eye candy.
 
2013-04-24 01:04:26 PM
Might still see it.
 
2013-04-24 01:04:26 PM
Bruce Willis has a cameo as a dead guy who can lift a lot of weight.
 
2013-04-24 01:20:49 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-24 01:21:11 PM
I thought it was going to be a story all about how his life got flipped, turned upside down.
 
2013-04-24 01:39:08 PM
The advertising doesn't make sense with the trailers I've seen.  If we never thought we'd return, then what why where they on a ship going to Earth?  We never thought we'd return until we planned a trip there?  The wikipedia entry also mentions an unstoppable alien that was released during the crash (though I'm guessing since it's Shyamalan that unstoppable alien is man or something).  That all sounds dumb.
 
2013-04-24 01:43:28 PM
1000 years and all that evolution and shiat?  really??  hawks the size of RV's, Giant Cats?  Sorry, we have been around for a few thousand years and we have gotten 8" taller.  Not going to see this one...unless it makes it to HBO, then maybe.

It almost seems like M Night totally mailed this one in.
 
2013-04-24 01:49:09 PM
The twist, of course, is that they actually traveled back in time and landed in the Pleistocene. It's especially twisty because they realize that prehistoric earth was visited by aliens.

Bleh

M. Night Shyamalan  has gone from this

mimg.ugo.com

to this

patcoston.com
 
2013-04-24 01:58:24 PM

texdent: Might still see it.


This is why we can't have nice things.
 
2013-04-24 02:05:20 PM

Dastardly Scoundrel: texdent: Might still see it.

This is why we can't have nice things.


I said 'might'. For all I know I probably won't see a movie that week.
 
2013-04-24 02:19:55 PM

nocturnal001: bdub77: I saw that trailer yesterday. Wow. The level of evolutionary derp in that movie is just...potato.

The moive has an interesting concept.  I took the trailer to mean that life evolved to attack humans while humans were still working on leaving the planet. Still, that does require some sort of metaphysical explanation (some kind of Gaia or Pandora concept).  That and the high level of change needs a mutation backstory as well.


This assumes that 'man hasn't been on Earf for 1000 years = we left Earf 1000 years ago', which ain't necessarily the same thing.

And God, I wish somebody would do a Land of the Lost movie. A movie that's basically Aliens + Jurassic Park + The Gray would beat so damn much ass.
 
2013-04-24 02:36:49 PM

AdrienVeidt: nocturnal001: bdub77: I saw that trailer yesterday. Wow. The level of evolutionary derp in that movie is just...potato.

And God, I wish somebody would do a Land of the Lost movie. A movie that's basically Aliens + Jurassic Park + The Gray would beat so damn much ass.


Sadly, they did:

content7.flixster.com
 
2013-04-24 02:40:02 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: We used to celebrate our planet, once a year, on Earth Earf Day.

FTFT


Am I the only person who started to become bothered by this meme?  If you watch the movie (or the youtube video someone posted further up), Will Smith very clearly says Earth.  Call me a pansy, or what have you, but it strikes me as mildly racist.
 
2013-04-24 02:57:59 PM

thornhill: Meh. The whole thing looks like nothing more than a vehicle to help launch the career of his kid with lots of CGI eye candy.


This

/Almost word for word what I said to the wife when we saw the trailer yesterday
//CSB
 
2013-04-24 03:02:49 PM

Altman: AdrienVeidt: nocturnal001: bdub77: I saw that trailer yesterday. Wow. The level of evolutionary derp in that movie is just...potato.

And God, I wish somebody would do a Land of the Lost movie. A movie that's basically Aliens + Jurassic Park + The Gray would beat so damn much ass.

Sadly, they did:

[content7.flixster.com image 180x257]


That's a nice fan poster there. Gotta be a joke. Weird casting, though. I mean, Will Ferrell? Nice joke, Altman.
 
2013-04-24 03:04:48 PM

Ctrl-Alt-Del: The twist, of course, is that they actually traveled back in time and landed in the Pleistocene. It's especially twisty because they realize that prehistoric earth was visited by aliens.

Bleh

M. Night Shyamalan  has gone from this

[mimg.ugo.com image 480x258]

to this

[patcoston.com image 482x360]


Yeah, he went from making intimiate thrillers with a super natural twist to wanting to be Steven Spielberg circa 1975 to 2000 making bid budget summer movies.
 
2013-04-24 03:56:37 PM

PizzaJedi81: Altman: AdrienVeidt: nocturnal001: bdub77: I saw that trailer yesterday. Wow. The level of evolutionary derp in that movie is just...potato.

And God, I wish somebody would do a Land of the Lost movie. A movie that's basically Aliens + Jurassic Park + The Gray would beat so damn much ass.

Sadly, they did:

[content7.flixster.com image 180x257]

That's a nice fan poster there. Gotta be a joke. Weird casting, though. I mean, Will Ferrell? Nice joke, Altman.


Oh man, that film and poster isn't real?! How cool would that have been? Will Ferrell and a giant T-rex? That would have been all kinds of awesome, I was looking forward to seeing that...

/Disappointed.
 
2013-04-24 03:58:50 PM
Wonder if Rifftrax will eventually do this? Might be worth watching then.
 
2013-04-24 03:59:18 PM
I wanted to like MKS' movies. I did. The premise of "The Happening" was cool - people start killing themselves off for some strange reason? Yes please - I love a good mysterious, "Why is this happening???" flick.

But when you give away the plot in the first 3 minutes of the movie, I...I just can't appreciate it anymore.

/Saw a couple other flicks that he did, just to see if they all sucked.
//They did.
 
2013-04-24 04:12:23 PM

YodaTuna: MaudlinMutantMollusk: We used to celebrate our planet, once a year, on Earth Earf Day.

FTFT

Am I the only person who started to become bothered by this meme?  If you watch the movie (or the youtube video someone posted further up), Will Smith very clearly says Earth.  Call me a pansy, or what have you, but it strikes me as mildly racist.


Well he does say "earth" in the "welcome to earth" scene, but much earlier he says "earf" when we first see him during the "earfquake"

So, the bothersome meme is right while still being wrong, so everyone wins!
 
2013-04-24 04:27:37 PM
So, animals evolved specifically to hunt humans, in the absence of ... humans?

i0.kym-cdn.com

...Plus, 1000 years of future evolution = magnitudes more evolution than the past 1000. More like 10,000,000.  Maybe poor time keeping is the punchline...
 
2013-04-24 04:51:49 PM
I saw the trailer for this when I went to see Olympus Has Fallen and all I could think of was "Lawdy, that movie looks like crap."

/don't hit
 
2013-04-24 04:52:35 PM
...and what the hell is up with Smif's accent in the voiceover?
 
2013-04-24 05:20:32 PM
If that kid gets ripped to shreds in the most graphic way possible.........
 
2013-04-24 05:32:21 PM

Torgo_of_Manos: won't watch any other movie with the Smith kid since the abomination that was 'the day earth stood still...' remake...


I watched that for the first time this weekend.  WTF?  Who wrote the plot for that?  I remember the original being a lot better.  I mean, "An alien civilization that can destroy us utterly with a wave of their hand has sent an emissary.  Let's accidentally shoot him, take him prisoner, try to drug him, and do everything we can to provoke the aliens at every turn.  Also, let's ignore and confine a scientist that the alien has confided in and communicated with."

And the kid was just horrible.
 
2013-04-24 06:20:39 PM
Shamalangan is directing this?  Really?  His name did not come up on the ad I saw last night.  They are learning to keep his name out of sight finally.  Maybe they will learn to keep him away from movies some day entirely.
 
2013-04-24 06:38:47 PM

Lumbar Puncture: The advertising doesn't make sense with the trailers I've seen.  If we never thought we'd return, then what why where they on a ship going to Earth?  We never thought we'd return until we planned a trip there?  The wikipedia entry also mentions an unstoppable alien that was released during the crash (though I'm guessing since it's Shyamalan that unstoppable alien is man or something).  That all sounds dumb.


Shyamalan didn't write it, so don't expect any of his trademark twists.


Dumb-Ass-Monkey: ...and what the hell is up with Smif's accent in the voiceover?


Yeah, he sounds... weird. Like Anthony Hopkins Hannibal levels weird.
 
2013-04-24 07:00:04 PM

fusillade762: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: ...and what the hell is up with Smif's accent in the voiceover?

Yeah, he sounds... weird. Like Anthony Hopkins Hannibal levels weird.


Eh, I don't have a problem with it. It's 1000 years in the future. Languages change.
 
2013-04-24 07:52:54 PM
I believe M. Night Shyamalan is what USC uses to show film students what the difference between cinematography and directing is.
 
2013-04-24 08:01:02 PM
Crewmannumber6

I didn't know M. Night Shyamalan was a Scientologist

It's no secret wil smith is one
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/60-famous-people-you-didnt-know-were-s c ientologists/

List of idiots and yes the title is all wrong as many of those are well known nutters.
 
2013-04-24 08:11:22 PM
Aw hell naw.
 
2013-04-24 09:26:22 PM
Let's assume Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity is, more arguments sake, correct. The famous "Twin Paradox" where one twin stays on earth and the other travels at near to the speed of light for two years and returns home. The twin traveling through space has aged two years while the twin on earth has aged 30 years.

For this movie, if we assume that they refer to 1K years passing for the "space travelers", 15K years have passed for the earth species (when tracking time on earth). Not really significant in terms of evolution of a species, but still more believable than only 1K years of evolution for what the trailer shows

/Earf
//Didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express so what I am saying is very likely wrong
 
2013-04-24 11:01:45 PM
Shamalyan + Will Smif + Will Smif Jr = no thanks
 
2013-04-25 09:44:16 AM
fusillade762:
Shyamalan didn't write it, so don't expect any of his trademark twists.

According to Wikipedia:

It is co-written, produced and directed by M. Night Shyamalan

So he may have shoehorned some of his twists into that script.
 
2013-04-25 04:25:44 PM
Boy, that did look like the suck.

With crap like that, hopefully we will be well rid of Shamalamadingdong and the Smith Family in a couple years, as they slink gratefully into obscurity.
 
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