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(Huffington Post)   Jesus was a hipster before it was cool   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 42
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4839 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2013 at 11:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-24 11:44:08 AM
Pffft. He just jacked the wild style of John the Baptist but made it safe for consumption of the masses.

/DNRTFA
 
2013-04-24 11:46:43 AM
All this arguing about what Jesus was or wasn't.

Regardless of whether he actually existed or not, his cult of personality is entirely man-made and contorted to be whatever suits the agenda of the person claiming to know the true Jesus.
 
2013-04-24 11:47:36 AM
And the Romans took care of that back then too, didn't they.

Nobody likes hipsters.
 
2013-04-24 11:48:37 AM
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-24 11:50:01 AM
Emo and Hipster are two terms I'd really love a moratorium on. It seems like they are mostly used by idiots who don't know what they are talking about, except that what they are describing that way is something they don't like
 
2013-04-24 11:50:22 AM
- Bearded
- Wore sandals
- Didn't own a TV
- Told people how they should live their lives


Yep, hipster all the way.
 
2013-04-24 11:50:59 AM
Hm, I guess the Brooklyn Diocese doesn't understand that everybody hates hipsters. Especially hipsters.
 
2013-04-24 11:52:39 AM
J Dawg wore chucks?  I would hang out with this new Jesus.  The hippie Jesus with the beard and sandals?  Yeah, not so much.  Go take your patchouli stink somewhere else, hippie.
 
2013-04-24 11:54:10 AM
lukehumbrecht.com
 
2013-04-24 11:55:54 AM
Every hipster was a hipster before it was cool.
 
2013-04-24 11:56:27 AM
I knew this Pope Francis guy was gonna make trouble.
 
2013-04-24 11:59:40 AM

Pincy: All this arguing about what Jesus was or wasn't.

Regardless of whether he actually existed or not, his cult of personality is entirely man-made and contorted to be whatever suits the agenda of the person claiming to know the true Jesus.


Such is the case with all religions.....

/it's the reason they're all shiat....
//what brand of bullshiat do you believe in?
///I made up my own bullshiat; more fun
 
2013-04-24 12:04:16 PM
Jesus would be a conservative and carry 3 guns: for killing Mexicans, Mooslims, and Communists!
 
2013-04-24 12:04:52 PM

FloydA: [i105.photobucket.com image 193x261]


Aaaand.... we're done here.
 
2013-04-24 12:08:27 PM
So er.. plain old chucks are hipster shoes?

I'm confused. Are they hipster shoes as in "this is what these jesusy folks think are hipster shoes". Is their chucks wearing jesus just wearing chucks because they are cheap poor folks shoes? I guess that makes sense.

I'm not sure I know, er, anyone, ever, in my entire life, who doesn't own at least one pair, it would almost have to be literally the polar opposite of hipster. Like, if chucks touch a hipster, they annihilate each other and the total amount of hipster in the universe decreases.
 
2013-04-24 12:11:14 PM
Jesus was not a hipster.  He was a drug dealer.  It's pretty obvious.  God wanted us to use all the plants on Earth and that included plants containing psychoactive chemicals.  He's single.  No legal residence.  Wanders around the Holy Land spreading the "Word of God" to people.  Associates with riffraff like tax collectors, Zealots, and women of ill repute.  The authorities hate him.  Judas sells him out and snitches to the Romans for cash.  Has to be a drug dealer.

And Jesus couldn't have been a hipster since in the New Testament, I don't see him talking about obscure and little watched TV shows, he doesn't listen to artists in genres of music I've never heard of like Afro-Carribean-Klezmer-hip hop, and he certainly didn't order double tall half-caff half-fat caramel vent caramel mocha lattes with artificial sweetener.  He drank water.  And it didn't come from a freaking spring located deep in the Pyrenees, untapped by human hands for thousands of years.
 
2013-04-24 12:11:24 PM
I despise Hipsters, but I really despise Christian evangelism tactics even more!

You go to a Muslim mosque to learn about Islam and possibly convert, they tell a man to stop touching a woman unless you marry her and they tell a woman to put a scarf on your head and now you got to pray five times a day. You go to a Jewish synagogue to learn about Judaism and possibly convert, depending on the synagogue (I am going by Heradi Orthodox here) they could tell you as a man to wear nothing but black slacks, black suit jacket, black shoes, white shirt, black velvet kippah (not cuz that particular outfit is required, but because it's tradition and the Rabbi doesn't want you acting different than your "supposed to"), and after converting you strap a leather box to your head and arm and put a cloth with four ropes hanging down from the side EVERY MORNING (cept for Shabbat and the major holidays) to pray to G-d; for the woman they want you tights, long (at least) knee length skirt, and fully covering top and after you get married you either have a cloth on your hair the whole time or you shave it off and put a wig in it's place! Those two religions tell it how it is and how if you want to be part of the faith, you got to make sacrifices in your own life for it and make the decision to do it.

Christians claim you can do anything you want to do and say the magic words and "You're saved!" I bet in Florida there is probably is even a nudist church that don't even wear robes for baptism, or if they do, it's made of leaves! They got Punk churches, they got "Christian Goths" (which I would be fine with if it wasn't an evangelism tactic to try to convert Goth people like me!), and now the Hipsters too? If I was a Hipster, I wouldn't be caught dead in a church praying Catholic hymns, because it's too damn mainstream! (damn boring too!) :-P
 
2013-04-24 12:13:02 PM
I was there for the sermon on the mount. You probably never heard of it.
 
2013-04-24 12:17:11 PM

Vast and Trunkless: Hm, I guess the Brooklyn Diocese doesn't understand that everybody hates hipsters. Especially hipsters.


That's what I thought.  Nobody actually claims to be a "hipster", do they?

Tatsuma: Emo and Hipster are two terms I'd really love a moratorium on. It seems like they are mostly used by idiots who don't know what they are talking about, except that what they are describing that way is something they don't like


I hear ya -- those words have begun to lose all meaning.  I'd also add "troll" to that list.
 
2013-04-24 12:18:23 PM
Goth Jebus?
 
2013-04-24 12:20:02 PM

Arkanaut: I hear ya -- those words have begun to lose all meaning. I'd also add "troll" to that list.


Definitely. Troll nowadays mostly means 'Someone whose opinions I disagree with or angers me/saddens me/disgusts me/etc...' so far from the original
 
2013-04-24 12:21:17 PM

Arkanaut: Vast and Trunkless: Hm, I guess the Brooklyn Diocese doesn't understand that everybody hates hipsters. Especially hipsters.

That's what I thought.  Nobody actually claims to be a "hipster", do they?

Tatsuma: Emo and Hipster are two terms I'd really love a moratorium on. It seems like they are mostly used by idiots who don't know what they are talking about, except that what they are describing that way is something they don't like

I hear ya -- those words have begun to lose all meaning.  I'd also add "troll" to that list.


Meh, I still find Emo a perfectly valid label. Hipster is so overused the word is meaningless. Emo still means teary cheeked, sad faced, crying, post punk self cutters that are really sad and stuff.
 
2013-04-24 12:22:21 PM

FloydA: [i105.photobucket.com image 193x261]


"Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the fixies. He came to help us out. He was a booster."
 
2013-04-24 12:23:41 PM
Come on, Jesus was a hippie protesting Roman Imperialism.  Hippies were hipsters before there were hipsters, except they didn't ride fixies or drink craft beer.
 
2013-04-24 12:24:10 PM

neongoats: Meh, I still find Emo a perfectly valid label. Hipster is so overused the word is meaningless. Emo still means teary cheeked, sad faced, crying, post punk self cutters that are really sad and stuff.


Seems to me that a lot of people just use "emo" as a substitute for "whiny".
 
2013-04-24 12:25:40 PM
"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain some sweet vinyls, but lose his PBR?"

-Jesus
 
2013-04-24 12:26:22 PM

Tatsuma: Arkanaut: I hear ya -- those words have begun to lose all meaning. I'd also add "troll" to that list.

Definitely. Troll nowadays mostly means 'Someone whose opinions I disagree with or angers me/saddens me/disgusts me/etc...' so far from the original


Those were halcyon days. Today trolling means "a person, place or thing interacted with another person, place or thing"

Want proof?
Fark search for headlines containing "troll":

http://www.fark.com/hlsearch?qq=troll&is_using_js=1
 
2013-04-24 12:30:30 PM

neongoats: Meh, I still find Emo a perfectly valid label. Hipster is so overused the word is meaningless. Emo still means teary cheeked, sad faced, crying, post punk self cutters that are really sad and stuff.


No it doesn't. Emo is shorthand for emocore, which itself is a shorthand for 'emotioal hardcore'. Meaning, it refers to music like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIBTZiVQoBE

and not shiat like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS-ej7MztWQ

It has nothing to do with it. The same way you complain about people using hipster wrong, you are using emo wrong. Go to Fourfa.com for more
 
2013-04-24 12:32:48 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: - Bearded
- Wore sandals
- Didn't own a TV
- Told people how they should live their lives


Yep, hipster all the way.



...and that's "cool" now, huh?

/Didn't think so
 
2013-04-24 12:39:59 PM
"But I say to you, love anemones, and pray for those whose porpoise suits you. "

/Maritime Jesus
 
2013-04-24 12:46:41 PM
He made his own artisanal, locally sourced wine.
 
2013-04-24 12:58:09 PM
So he wore shoes made in a sweatshop?
 
2013-04-24 01:00:36 PM
 
2013-04-24 01:02:53 PM

FloydA:


Came for this. Wonders if the priest at that church looks anything like George Carlin...
 
2013-04-24 01:09:59 PM
Before they decide Jesus needs a change of clothes and attitude, they might be better off to change their own ancient attitudes about things, like birth control, gayness, etc...
 
2013-04-24 01:15:35 PM

neongoats: So er.. plain old chucks are hipster shoes?

I'm confused. Are they hipster shoes as in "this is what these jesusy folks think are hipster shoes". Is their chucks wearing jesus just wearing chucks because they are cheap poor folks shoes? I guess that makes sense.

I'm not sure I know, er, anyone, ever, in my entire life, who doesn't own at least one pair, it would almost have to be literally the polar opposite of hipster. Like, if chucks touch a hipster, they annihilate each other and the total amount of hipster in the universe decreases.


I believe TFA said they were RED chucks, which means Jesus is The Doctor, or just David Tennant...
 
2013-04-24 01:18:43 PM

GurneyHalleck: Come on, Jesus was a hippie protesting Roman Imperialism.  Hippies were hipsters before there were hipsters, except they didn't ride fixies or drink craft beer.


Wtf is a "fixie"? My guess is a craptacular old bicycle...

/so not a hipster...
//so glad i'm not
 
2013-04-24 02:32:39 PM

dopekitty74: GurneyHalleck: Come on, Jesus was a hippie protesting Roman Imperialism.  Hippies were hipsters before there were hipsters, except they didn't ride fixies or drink craft beer.

Wtf is a "fixie"? My guess is a craptacular old bicycle...

/so not a hipster...
//so glad i'm not


Fixed gear bicycle.(Not a hipster, just like bicycles.)
 
2013-04-24 02:47:51 PM

FloydA: dopekitty74: GurneyHalleck: Come on, Jesus was a hippie protesting Roman Imperialism.  Hippies were hipsters before there were hipsters, except they didn't ride fixies or drink craft beer.

Wtf is a "fixie"? My guess is a craptacular old bicycle...

/so not a hipster...
//so glad i'm not

Fixed gear bicycle.(Not a hipster, just like bicycles.)


So, like my first bike then... Ok.
/prefer gears nowadays. Hills suck..
 
2013-04-24 03:04:17 PM
 
2013-04-24 03:40:51 PM

dopekitty74: GurneyHalleck: Come on, Jesus was a hippie protesting Roman Imperialism.  Hippies were hipsters before there were hipsters, except they didn't ride fixies or drink craft beer.

Wtf is a "fixie"? My guess is a craptacular old bicycle...

/so not a hipster...
//so glad i'm not


No, it's a craptacular new bicycle.
 
2013-04-25 09:03:34 AM
A new ad launched by the Roman Catholic Diocese of Brooklyn is marketing Jesus as "the original hipster" So, who are they hoping to target with this new ad? Hipsters? I guess getting them to join ironically is better than nothing.

hahaha.
 
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