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(Talking Points Memo)   Meet the new suspect in the Ricin case. I'm Kevin Curtis and I approve this investigation   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 65
    More: Interesting, ricin, Elvis impersonator, Steve Holland, Christi McCoy, Everett Dutschke  
•       •       •

6663 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2013 at 10:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-24 09:48:43 AM
Their focus has shifted to Everett Dutschke - a failed political candidate, taekwondo teacher, and bluesman who's currently facing child molestation charges.

One of a handful of fundamental truths I've come to realize in my nearly 40 years on this earth: You will never meet a Caucasian martial arts instructor who doesn't have mental problems or deep, dark secrets of some sort.
 
2013-04-24 09:50:44 AM
I know we're not supposed to judge people by their appearances but the guy in the picture looks like a colossal douchebag.
 
2013-04-24 10:01:33 AM
Christ he's even weirder than the last guy!  If it doesn't turn out to be him, who will the next suspect be?  A midget time traveler?
 
2013-04-24 10:02:44 AM
...Dutschke had a major grudge against him. Curtis implied Dutschke may have developed these negative feelings towards him when they studied taekwondo together or because of his career as an Elvis impersonator.

Stupidest reason for revenge ever.
 
2013-04-24 10:12:31 AM
Looks like a  Dutschkebag.
 
2013-04-24 10:17:50 AM
Oh, hey!  I know we spent a week trashing the first guy that was actually arrested and charged and he turned out to be innocent... so let's spend the next week trashing a guy that hasn't even been named as a suspect!  What could go wrong?
 
2013-04-24 10:18:28 AM

notyomama: I know we're not supposed to judge people by their appearances but the guy in the picture looks like a colossal douchebag.


99% of the guys would look like douchebags in crappy digital photographs. Show me a picture of a dude I don't know that doesn't look like a douchebag.
 
2013-04-24 10:19:26 AM

sigdiamond2000: Their focus has shifted to Everett Dutschke - a failed political candidate, taekwondo teacher, and bluesman who's currently facing child molestation charges.

One of a handful of fundamental truths I've come to realize in my nearly 40 years on this earth: You will never meet a Caucasian martial arts instructor who doesn't have mental problems or deep, dark secrets of some sort.


Has anyone investigated this guy yet?

www.joblo.com
 
2013-04-24 10:21:37 AM

sigdiamond2000: Their focus has shifted to Everett Dutschke - a failed political candidate, taekwondo teacher, and bluesman who's currently facing child molestation charges.

One of a handful of fundamental truths I've come to realize in my nearly 40 years on this earth: You will never meet a Caucasian martial arts instructor who doesn't have mental problems or deep, dark secrets of some sort.


Ironically I find my teachers (all 2 of them, heh), to be almost rigorously sane, courteous and thoughtful. However, I've heard THEIR teacher has issues, and I asked around a LOT before I found a recommendation for a school that didn't set off my creep-meter. Eh, what can ya do.
 
2013-04-24 10:23:08 AM
"I've created a band called Robodrum and we're going to throw you off the national circuit."
 
2013-04-24 10:23:15 AM

bdub77: Has anyone investigated this guy yet?


Or this one?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-24 10:24:39 AM

notyomama: I know we're not supposed to judge people by their appearances but the guy in the picture looks like a colossal douchebag.


I see that my thoughts have been voiced already. Carry on.
 
2013-04-24 10:26:17 AM
www.wildsound-filmmaking-feedback-events.com
 
2013-04-24 10:28:40 AM
I think we can say with 99.9% certainty that this is definitely, maybe the guy.  Just like last time.
 
2013-04-24 10:29:52 AM

mr0x: notyomama: I know we're not supposed to judge people by their appearances but the guy in the picture looks like a colossal douchebag.

99% of the guys would look like douchebags in crappy digital photographs. Show me a picture of a dude I don't know that doesn't look like a douchebag.



i303.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-24 10:31:18 AM
From another article linked from TFA:

Dutschke expressed disbelief when told of Curtis' release.
"What did you just say?" he asked.
We repeated that Curtis had been released.
"You're kidding me," said Dutschke. "For what?"


Uh...released "for what"?

Jumped out at me right away, and some others pointed it out in the comments section of that article. Sounds like he's been rehearsing his disbelief. He already knew Curtis had been released and wanted to sound indignant about it, and imply he hadn't been following it too closely.
 
2013-04-24 10:31:54 AM
Exactly how many lasers make up a ton? Physicists?
 
2013-04-24 10:31:58 AM
Is "child molestation" the new "Trotskyite conspiracy" or "Satan worshipping?"

Note that everyone who has pedophilic urges is assumed to be actively molesting kids, which doesn't sound right to me. Does being tempted to rob a bank make you automatically a felon even if you never do it? (If so I belong in Supermax: I can't read about a failed bank stickup without being sure I could do it better.) And what about all those transmen homos who don't dryhump little girls?

Some pedophiles consistently resist the urge. Not all child molesters are clinically pedophiles. Thought is not a crime. And all pedophiles and/or child molesters are still human beings.

P.S. : Not everything the Israeli government does meets with my approval.

(So how many new Ignores do I get with this one?)
 
2013-04-24 10:32:39 AM
Man Wes Anderson really needs to adapt this story into a film.
 
2013-04-24 10:33:56 AM
As someone who plays guitar and once had hopes of being in a casual but kinda serious blues band that played some bar gigs, but mostly stayed focused on having fun, I can tell you that this demographic (amateur musicians) has a disturbingly high percentage of deluded people.  Deluded in different ways, but one of the common things was a belief that a 40ish, mediocre musician who rarely (if ever) practices except at weekly gig sessions (which is not practising), and then focuses about as much on getting high and/or drunk, and chain smoking, as on playing, is somehow going to hit the big time and become a big rock-and-roll star, playing blues rock.  They have dreams, man, they have dreams, and if you don't have dreams, well they feel sorry for you, man, but they have dreams, and they are going places.

Also, word to the wise:  These are the guys who will steal your expensive equipment.  Their rationale:  hey man, you have this high-paying job, and I'm making like, eleven bucks an hour painting houses, you can afford it, man, and besides, you don't even have dreams.  So another big delusion is that they imagine you won't be the least bit upset that they took off with the equipment.  It made me resolve that, if any equipment is purchased and then stays somewhere other than my house, it has to be something that won't upset me if it grows legs and walks away.

Add in taekwondo and you have a whole other level of delusion.  I have a friend, almost 50, who has been doing that for years with his kids as they grew up.  He has suffered increasingly severe injuries.  The last one has resulted in a series of painful, expensive operations, and it's not clear yet whether these operations will actually fix the problem.  But he still talks about how he can't wait to get back into it.  It's like he's determined to be wheelchair bound, come hell or high water.  I tried once to have a serious conversation with him about this, and suggest gently that it was time to drop taekwondo.  Nothing doing.
 
2013-04-24 10:34:00 AM
My first impression is that Hunter Walker is a dumb name.
 
2013-04-24 10:41:50 AM

The One True TheDavid: Is "child molestation" the new "Trotskyite conspiracy" or "Satan worshipping?"

Note that everyone who has pedophilic urges is assumed to be actively molesting kids, which doesn't sound right to me. Does being tempted to rob a bank make you automatically a felon even if you never do it? (If so I belong in Supermax: I can't read about a failed bank stickup without being sure I could do it better.) And what about all those transmen homos who don't dryhump little girls?

Some pedophiles consistently resist the urge. Not all child molesters are clinically pedophiles. Thought is not a crime. And all pedophiles and/or child molesters are still human beings.

P.S. : Not everything the Israeli government does meets with my approval.

(So how many new Ignores do I get with this one?)


I don't put people on ignore. I just remember the idiots. You've been on that list since the first time I saw you post. You've definitely lived up to that assertion.
 
2013-04-24 10:42:13 AM

nekom: Christ he's even weirder than the last guy!  If it doesn't turn out to be him, who will the next suspect be?  A midget time traveler?





yes
 
2013-04-24 10:43:00 AM
Curtis provided further details about the feud at the press conference when reporters asked him about his relationship with Dutschke. He claimed he did not know Dutschke well, but had received angry messages from him and heard indications from others that Dutschke had a major grudge against him. Curtis implied Dutschke may have developed these negative feelings towards him when they studied taekwondo together or because of his career as an Elvis impersonator. According to Curtis, one of the messages he received from Dutschke was an email saying, "I've created a band called Robodrum and we're going to throw you off the national circuit."

Weird people problems.

The One True TheDavid: Is "child molestation" the new "Trotskyite conspiracy" or "Satan worshipping?"

Note that everyone who has pedophilic urges is assumed to be actively molesting kids, which doesn't sound right to me. Does being tempted to rob a bank make you automatically a felon even if you never do it? (If so I belong in Supermax: I can't read about a failed bank stickup without being sure I could do it better.) And what about all those transmen homos who don't dryhump little girls?

Some pedophiles consistently resist the urge. Not all child molesters are clinically pedophiles. Thought is not a crime. And all pedophiles and/or child molesters are still human beings.


Creepy people problems
 
2013-04-24 10:43:02 AM
www.probertencyclopaedia.com
 
2013-04-24 10:43:50 AM

The One True TheDavid: Is "child molestation" the new "Trotskyite conspiracy" or "Satan worshipping?"

Note that everyone who has pedophilic urges is assumed to be actively molesting kids, which doesn't sound right to me. Does being tempted to rob a bank make you automatically a felon even if you never do it? (If so I belong in Supermax: I can't read about a failed bank stickup without being sure I could do it better.) And what about all those transmen homos who don't dryhump little girls?

Some pedophiles consistently resist the urge. Not all child molesters are clinically pedophiles. Thought is not a crime. And all pedophiles and/or child molesters are still human beings.

P.S. : Not everything the Israeli government does meets with my approval.

(So how many new Ignores do I get with this one?)


This.... is... how it is done people!

Truly a work of art!

9.67/10
 
2013-04-24 10:45:08 AM
This just keeps getting weirder and weirder.  If this were a movie script it would be rejected for being too unbelievable.
 
2013-04-24 10:45:16 AM
talkingpointsmemo.com
Christ, what an asshole.
 
2013-04-24 10:45:38 AM
talkingpointsmemo.com

What is it with men in suits who lean on cars holding liquid containers?

www.mbird.com
 
2013-04-24 10:46:00 AM

Kibbler: As someone who plays guitar and once had hopes of being in a casual but kinda serious blues band that played some bar gigs, but mostly stayed focused on having fun, I can tell you that this demographic (amateur musicians) has a disturbingly high percentage of deluded people.  Deluded in different ways, but one of the common things was a belief that a 40ish, mediocre musician who rarely (if ever) practices except at weekly gig sessions (which is not practising), and then focuses about as much on getting high and/or drunk, and chain smoking, as on playing, is somehow going to hit the big time and become a big rock-and-roll star, playing blues rock.  They have dreams, man, they have dreams, and if you don't have dreams, well they feel sorry for you, man, but they have dreams, and they are going places.

Also, word to the wise:  These are the guys who will steal your expensive equipment.  Their rationale:  hey man, you have this high-paying job, and I'm making like, eleven bucks an hour painting houses, you can afford it, man, and besides, you don't even have dreams.  So another big delusion is that they imagine you won't be the least bit upset that they took off with the equipment.  It made me resolve that, if any equipment is purchased and then stays somewhere other than my house, it has to be something that won't upset me if it grows legs and walks away.

Add in taekwondo and you have a whole other level of delusion.  I have a friend, almost 50, who has been doing that for years with his kids as they grew up.  He has suffered increasingly severe injuries.  The last one has resulted in a series of painful, expensive operations, and it's not clear yet whether these operations will actually fix the problem.  But he still talks about how he can't wait to get back into it.  It's like he's determined to be wheelchair bound, come hell or high water.  I tried once to have a serious conversation with him about this, and suggest gently that it was time to drop taekwondo.  Noth ...


My dream is that one day on Fark I post a cool story...bro.
 
2013-04-24 10:46:25 AM
Man....this story is just the gift that keeps on giving.
 
2013-04-24 10:46:28 AM
i478.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-24 10:48:22 AM

notyomama: I know we're not supposed to judge people by their appearances but the guy in the picture looks like a colossal douchebag.


"Colossal" doesn't even begin to describe it. I mean, his damn facial features are conspiring against him here: Naturally pursed lips, the way his eyebrows upturn, the narrow eyes.

Christ, even his name evokes the term "douche" at a glance, as if generations of his forefathers have all been douches before him.
 
2013-04-24 10:51:33 AM

jayhawk88: Christ, even his name evokes the term "douche" at a glance, as if generations of his forefathers have all been douches before him.


Perhaps the family descends from the Douchebag family.

snl.jt.org

"Give me a Sandwich in one hand, and a Douchebag in the other, and there's nothing I can't accomplish."
 
2013-04-24 10:52:08 AM

Sock Ruh Tease: [talkingpointsmemo.com image 652x360]

What is it with men in suits who lean on cars holding liquid containers?

[www.mbird.com image 400x598]


I was just going to say he looked like he needed to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

Is there something in the water in Mississippi? It seems that just as this case couldn't get any weirder, the weirdness goalposts get moved.
 
2013-04-24 10:57:08 AM
Man, this is like a farking movie or something.
 
2013-04-24 10:57:44 AM

Fubegra: Is there something in the water in Mississippi? It seems that just as this case couldn't get any weirder, the weirdness goalposts get moved.


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
 
2013-04-24 10:59:21 AM
Sounds like somebody wasn't giving him the resMpect he deserves.
 
2013-04-24 11:00:32 AM

James F. Campbell: Man, this is like a farking movie or something.


The likes of which only Will Ferrell and Ben stiller could do.
 
2013-04-24 11:03:29 AM
I have no idea if this guy is a child molester or not.

I do know that martial arts instructors that work with kids seem to be at a high risk of being accused of that sort of thing. Touching kids to help them get proper stances might easily be misinterpreted by a kid or an oversensitive parent as a groping.

sigdiamond2000: You will never meet a Caucasian martial arts instructor who doesn't have mental problems or deep, dark secrets of some sort.


I'd change "Caucasian" to white.

I had an Indian (Asian Indian, that is) karate instructor as a kid. He was Caucasian (like most Asian Indians) and a pretty all right guy. Some of the white guys, though, were creepy.
 
2013-04-24 11:07:06 AM

here to help: Sounds like somebody wasn't giving him the resMpect he deserves.


don't worry, I'm sure his cellmate will give him some proper cuddling.
 
2013-04-24 11:08:27 AM

mr0x: notyomama: I know we're not supposed to judge people by their appearances but the guy in the picture looks like a colossal douchebag.

99% of the guys would look like douchebags in crappy digital photographs. Show me a picture of a dude I don't know that doesn't look like a douchebag.


Sounds like you hang out with quite a lot of douchebags.
 
2013-04-24 11:13:13 AM

here to help: The One True TheDavid:

[...]
Some pedophiles consistently resist the urge. Not all child molesters are clinically pedophiles. Thought is not a crime. And all pedophiles and/or child molesters are still human beings.

P.S. : Not everything the Israeli government does meets with my approval.

(So how many new Ignores do I get with this one?)

I don't put people on ignore. I just remember the idiots. You've been on that list since the first time I saw you post. You've definitely lived up to that assertion.


So what about what I said above strikes you as "idiotic?" The part where I remind people of the obvious fact that pedophiles and/or child molesters are human beings -- or they would not be subject to US criminal law, for one thing -- or the part where I note the obvious fact that the Israeli government doesn't spend a lot of time asking my permission to do what it does? (Or are you "creatively classy" enough to have a non-typical excuse?)

Since when is stating obvious facts "idiotic?" It's not like I'm swearing that water's never wet. Please, sir and/or ma'am, enlighten me.
 
2013-04-24 11:15:47 AM

NicoFinn: "I've created a band called Robodrum and we're going to throw you off the national circuit."


Robodrum is Murdobor backwards. Coincidence?
 
2013-04-24 11:18:06 AM

The One True TheDavid: Since when is stating obvious facts "idiotic?" It's not like I'm swearing that water's never wet. Please, sir and/or ma'am, enlighten me.


*fart*
 
2013-04-24 11:19:17 AM
nice headline subby, I approve
 
2013-04-24 11:22:40 AM
"a failed political candidate, taekwondo teacher, and bluesman who's currently facing child molestation charges. "

so he's in the gun threads all the time?
 
2013-04-24 11:24:33 AM

sigdiamond2000: Their focus has shifted to Everett Dutschke - a failed political candidate, taekwondo teacher, and bluesman who's currently facing child molestation charges.

One of a handful of fundamental truths I've come to realize in my nearly 40 years on this earth: You will never meet a Caucasian martial arts instructor who doesn't have mental problems or deep, dark secrets of some sort.


They also met and started their biatch-fighting through their local Mensa chapter.  Anyone got a pen to jot down another of those "fundamental truths I've come to realize"?
 
2013-04-24 11:25:40 AM

Tommy Moo: Exactly how many lasers make up a ton? Physicists?


i thought you typed "psychiatrists"
 
2013-04-24 11:27:30 AM
We're dealing with a couple of prime time dorks here.

Elvis impersonation, amateur music making, martial arts instruction, government plots to blow up cars, and a long standing grudge.

If this was a movie, it would star Chris Elliot and Tom Green.
 
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