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(Death and Taxes Magazine)   The ten most ridiculous, blatantly false anti-drug PSAs from the 80s and 90s. Yes, the Saved by the Bell freakout is on here   (deathandtaxesmag.com) divider line 133
    More: Amusing, PSA, saved by the bell, Punky Brewster  
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14927 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2013 at 3:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-24 04:39:18 AM
A story I heard from an unreliable friend:

In DARE, the cop passed around a little baggie with two joints to show what they looked like. He told the class that he better get them back or he's going to search everyone.

When the cop got the bag back, it had three joints.
 
2013-04-24 04:39:28 AM

highwayrun: log_jammin: this one time(at band camp)...

I grew up in a very very small town that had only two things to keep kids occupied. a defunct grain elevator, and the rail road track. On the rail road track trains would stop quite often, usually with the caboose end in town. a very crafty and bored kid could wait for the guys in the caboose to leave to get lunch or check the tracks or whatever, and sneak in and pilfer it. once I acquired those little capsules that you break open and put under an unconscious persons nose to wake them up.

so I took them to school and a group of us decided to try them out. we sniffed them and we all made funny faces at the smell and giggled. teacher caught us and then proceeded to inform us we were DOING DRUGS!!!! we never got into trouble. I don't even think they called our parents. and I can't remember for sure....but...I think the phrase "just say no!" was used a few times.

/csb

I hate to tell you, but you've confused smelling salts (usually ammonia-based) with amyl nitrate, or "poppers".


I think the point was the TEACHER confused smelling salts with random "omfgdrugzors!"...
 
2013-04-24 04:41:23 AM
This quote from the article was hilarious:

"If there is one thing we all know about people who are really into saving the environment, it is that they really hate smoking pot."
 
2013-04-24 04:46:01 AM

On-Off: 50 posts in and no mention of "Requiem for a dream"?
I know, technically, it wasn't PSA.
It didn't have any excuses.


Ass to ass!

/all I've got
 
2013-04-24 04:47:22 AM

borg: The one I thought was funny was where these two guys in their late 20's-early 30's are smoking weed in the basement. One of them says something like, "Man, these anti-drug commercials are such B.S. I mean, look at me. I've been smoking pot for 15 years, and I never went to jail, I never hurt anyone, etc...damm my mom's home quick open a window, Then a woman's voice comes from upstairs. "did you even look for a job today?" And the guy replies, "Um...no Maw um, I'll look for one tomorrow..."


What's his fark handle?
 
2013-04-24 04:47:44 AM
Clicked for the Cartoon All-Stars, wasn't disappointed. We owned this VHS and it was part of my regular viewing as a kid. Michael sure looked like he was dabbling with more than pot by the look of his complexion toward the end, and the fact that my mom was growing copious amounts of ganja in our basement at the time is neither here nor there.
 
2013-04-24 04:54:31 AM

Myria: A story I heard from an unreliable friend:

In DARE, the cop passed around a little baggie with two joints to show what they looked like. He told the class that he better get them back or he's going to search everyone.

When the cop got the bag back, it had three joints.


Gods *dammit* why didn't I think of that?
//would have been *profoundly* worth it if I used a dime of the most shiat skunk I could locate.
 
2013-04-24 04:54:40 AM

Snapper Carr: You want to teach your kids about the negative effects of drugs?


Take him to Walmart at 3am


Jesus, she's wired for sound.
 
2013-04-24 04:57:26 AM

On-Off: 50 posts in and no mention of "Requiem for a dream"?
I know, technically, it wasn't PSA.
It didn't have any excuses.


I think "don't do needle drugs, don't suck cock for drugs" and "Rx abuse is drug abuse" are two fine points to make.
 
2013-04-24 04:57:55 AM

flamingboar: I remember the PSAs in arcade machines that would say WINNERS DON'T USE DRUGS! Right before I slaughtered goblins with my sword. Now I want to play Golden Axe.


Same here. Also wish I still had my genesis, complete with Golden Axe.
 
2013-04-24 05:00:26 AM

Gosling: I grew up with a fear of McGruff. As in, like, cover-ears-run-sprinting-out-of-the-room fear of McGruff.

I didn't get over it before he faded away. I think that means I won.


Were you afraid he'd take a bite out of your ass?

/only users lose drugs
 
2013-04-24 05:04:11 AM

Confabulat: I learned it from watching you Dad!


Link
 
2013-04-24 05:04:47 AM

Snapper Carr: Walmart


C'mon, it was late, no one was there, and besides, all I could find to wear were those leather shorts and swim fins.  The top hat was purely a fashion statement.
 
2013-04-24 05:05:52 AM
My favorite was: "Nobody ever said 'I wanna be a junkie when I grow up!'", and the ballerina falls to the ground in slow motion.
 
2013-04-24 05:19:00 AM
 
2013-04-24 05:28:49 AM
Yeah, list fails without 'Straight Up'. All other anti-drug PSA's are weaksauce compared to this thing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIm1PKk7Y3w

Should have links to the other parts in the sidebars. Enjoy the nadir of Louis Gosset Jr.'s acting career.

/an Anti-Drug PSA the feels like it was written by people on drugs? Brilliant!
 
2013-04-24 05:31:00 AM

On-Off: 50 posts in and no mention of "Requiem for a dream"?
I know, technically, it wasn't PSA.
It didn't have any excuses.


All the characters were also pretty self-destructive before they got themselves in too deep with the drugs, too, so not really "don't do drugs" so much as "don't be a useless moron".
 
2013-04-24 05:44:33 AM

highwayrun: log_jammin: this one time(at band camp)...

[...] once I acquired those little capsules that you break open and put under an unconscious persons nose to wake them up. [...]

I hate to tell you, but you've confused smelling salts (usually ammonia-based) with amyl nitrate, or "poppers".


No he hasn't. "Those little capsules that you break open and put under an unconscious persons nose to wake them up" are smelling salts.

Now, if he had said "Those little vials that you open under your nose and inhale just as you reach orgasm while you're banging the ass of this gorgeous twink you picked up at the Mineshaft," then he would've been confusing smelling salts with poppers.

Not that I know about that, or anything that might be wrong with it if I did.

Or something.
 
2013-04-24 05:46:54 AM
That Punky Brewster one was just weird. It got surreal at the end.

Does anyone remember that commercial from the late 70s or early 80s with the kid who brings his broken car to his drunk father and asks him to fix it, the father says "suuure, buddy!" and slams the parts together a couple of times, gets pissed off, and says "go to bed. NOW!!!"?
 
2013-04-24 05:49:22 AM
Working in Fort Mcmurray cured any possible curiosity I might have about drugs.

/shudder
 
2013-04-24 06:08:56 AM

Dragonflew: That Punky Brewster one was just weird. It got surreal at the end.

Does anyone remember that commercial from the late 70s or early 80s with the kid who brings his broken car to his drunk father and asks him to fix it, the father says "suuure, buddy!" and slams the parts together a couple of times, gets pissed off, and says "go to bed. NOW!!!"?


That wasnt a commercial...that actually happened to you.
 
2013-04-24 06:27:33 AM
And then there's this one. Hot chick dives into empty swimming pool
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC4KJ9Nd3EQ
SPLAT!!!!
 
2013-04-24 06:34:56 AM

You are Borg: flamingboar: I remember the PSAs in arcade machines that would say WINNERS DON'T USE DRUGS! Right before I slaughtered goblins with my sword. Now I want to play Golden Axe.

Same here. Also wish I still had my genesis, complete with Golden Axe.


http://www.mameui.info/
http://doperoms.com/

There we go.
 
2013-04-24 06:36:43 AM
Excess caffeine will make you too wired to sleep and you'll watch all of these.

/Has only done "the pot" twice and both times it put me to sleep immediately.
 
2013-04-24 06:45:36 AM
You don't need PSA's anymore.  Just show them a few episodes of Intervention.  Good lord that show is depressing.

/also, Hoarders
 
2013-04-24 06:49:40 AM

Burr: /also, Hoarders


My Wife: "What do you want to do with this? throw it out or keep it?"

Me: "Keep it for now"

My son: "dad don't be a hoarder!!!"
 
2013-04-24 07:15:02 AM

Dragonflew: That Punky Brewster one was just weird. It got surreal at the end.

Does anyone remember that commercial from the late 70s or early 80s with the kid who brings his broken car to his drunk father and asks him to fix it, the father says "suuure, buddy!" and slams the parts together a couple of times, gets pissed off, and says "go to bed. NOW!!!"?


What's weirder is that the parade is in Atlanta and Punky lives in Chicago. Maybe she did try some of the drugs after all.

teenage mutant ninja rapist: you wanna scare kids straight the real way all ya gotta do is this.
go to vancouver. Hang out at the corner of main and hastings st. Go for a walk down an alley if you feel bold.


Last time I was in DTES, a woman came up to me and said I could do whatever I wanted to her body for $10. She could have best been described as poo smelling beef jerky with a couple of teeth tossed in the pile. It would have been enough to scare a girl or a boy away from drugs forever.

/She didn't get the $10 but I was sure to put the money to good use getting drunk later
 
2013-04-24 07:24:58 AM

On-Off: 50 posts in and no mention of "Requiem for a dream"?
I know, technically, it wasn't PSA.
It didn't have any excuses.


The message I took away from that, as I have many other anti-drug productions, was just be satisfied with smoking weed.
 
2013-04-24 07:36:48 AM

Day_Old_Dutchie: And then there's this one. Hot chick dives into empty swimming pool
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC4KJ9Nd3EQ
SPLAT!!!!


Am I wrong by saying that these were mostly on MTV?  You said the title and I knew exactly which one you were talking about.  Where are the RAD commercials?
 
2013-04-24 07:43:01 AM

darkjezter: Anybody remember this ad? I must have seen it a thousand times when I was a kid watching Saturday morning cartoons in the late 1980s. The song from it has remained stuck in my memory for over two decades.


OMG! Good find.
 
2013-04-24 07:47:16 AM
 
2013-04-24 07:48:02 AM

Snapper Carr: log_jammin: Snapper Carr: You want to teach your kids about the negative effects of drugs?


Take him to Walmart at 3am

every time I see someone on meth I can't help but think about how UN fun it looks.

It's fun up until about the 3rd day you're awake. That's when the lack of REM sleep and the dopamine exhaustion kicks in and you start hallucinating and getting paranoid.


Never saw the point in taking anything like that to stay awake for days on end. I can do that with a pot of coffee and a new video game that I have been looking forward to. I once went 120 hours straight with no sleep while stone sober. I got the hallucinations and it was time for bed.
 
2013-04-24 07:55:07 AM
The more things change....http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0028346/
 
2013-04-24 07:56:46 AM
The hot teen girl (Rachel Leigh Cook) demonstrating the effects of snorting heroin by wrecking her parents stylish kitchen inspired the 1990s. Convinced.
 
2013-04-24 08:13:40 AM
Everyone knows the best horribly wrong drug PSA is from the 30s.
 
2013-04-24 08:27:10 AM
The best PSA is to meet an actual drug addict.
 
2013-04-24 08:31:55 AM
blogimages.thescore.com
 
2013-04-24 08:46:51 AM
Man, I would have liked to do some really perverse things with Natasha Gregson Wagner.
 
2013-04-24 08:51:38 AM

flamingboar: I remember the PSAs in arcade machines that would say WINNERS DON'T USE DRUGS! Right before I slaughtered goblins with my sword. Now I want to play Golden Axe.


Heh, I used to see it on the TMNT in Time game AND the X-men 6 player game just after the bad guys handed me my azz and I lost the game.  Even as a young-un I saw the humor there.
Me: Crap.  I just lost.  Such a loser.
Game: Winner's don't use Drugs.
Me: Skeptical smirk "What do you know about me, video game?"
 
2013-04-24 08:56:18 AM
Gee, "I'm like 30" and these children's shows seem silly to me and I cannot figure out why.....
 
2013-04-24 09:04:27 AM
The best anti-drug commercial ever was the one with the obvious parody of the guy on the zig-zag papers telling the young man, "Don't go out my friend you are too high!" Tell him not to drive while stoned. It was hilarious.
 
2013-04-24 09:20:59 AM
Who cares if they were stupid, if they kept a few kids from trying drugs then they were worth it.
 
2013-04-24 09:30:18 AM
" Weeeeeeeeeeeeee "
 
2013-04-24 09:36:00 AM
8.A PSA from the weird fugazi "Ghostbusters" cartoon!

I have some bad news for you, Robyn Pennacchia... "fugazi" means fake, and in trying to be cute with that word, you have admitted that you are ignorant.  I bet you think that Ivan Reitman, Harold Ramis, and Dan Aykroyd created the Ghostbusters and that the "stupid monkey cartoon" wasn't an accurate depiction of the original Spook Busters (gorilla and all) from the 1940s.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT90y1tzZjk
 
2013-04-24 09:39:27 AM
During elementary school, we got a healthy dose of DARE during the Reagan years.  McGuff, comic books filled with trenchcoat-wearing dealers making kids take needle drugs, and all that good stuff.  I remember on the footnote of all the drug worksheets they printed "America:  Drug free by 2000!".  What a farking joke.
 
2013-04-24 09:45:26 AM
 
2013-04-24 09:49:55 AM

ReapTheChaos: Who cares if they were stupid, if they kept a few kids from trying drugs then they were worth it.


They got a lot more kids to overdose on heroin because they oversold the evils of lesser drugs so badly.  Once the kid smokes a little pot and it doesn't have the effect that the commercials warn about, they think the harder stuff might not be so bad either.
 
2013-04-24 09:59:26 AM
I learned everything I needed to know about drugs from cartoons:  "The secret compartment of my ring I fill / With an Underdog super energy pill."
 
2013-04-24 10:01:23 AM
i3.ytimg.com

"I smoke fools like you on the basketball court."
 
2013-04-24 10:06:42 AM
Always enjoyed this one: Link
 
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