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(KSTU FOX 13)   Not news: Clergyman assists woman being assaulted. Fark: clergyman assists woman being assaulted by using his sweet ninja skills and samurai sword   (fox13now.com) divider line 80
    More: Cool, samurai sword, samurai, Grant Eggertsen  
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7064 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2013 at 11:22 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-23 07:53:45 PM
www.squidmobile.com
"I kick arse for the Lord!"
 
2013-04-23 08:15:28 PM

toraque: www.squidmobile.com
"I kick arse for the Lord!"


And we're done here.

*turns off lights*
 
2013-04-23 08:35:40 PM
Plus, if he's ever chased by a gang of evil immortals he can just hide in the nearest Mormon temple. Except if its Mario Van Peebles.  But then again, I doubt Kane is up to speed on his Temple Recommend.
 
2013-04-23 08:44:53 PM
and some people thought that clerics were only allowed to use blunt weapons ...
 
2013-04-23 08:46:49 PM
Never thought I'd see "LDS" and "samurai sword" in the article. Kinda unnerving.
 
2013-04-23 08:47:32 PM

Apos: Never thought I'd see "LDS" and "samurai sword" in the same article. Kinda unnerving.


Fixed.
 
2013-04-23 08:48:15 PM
Came for the "Dead Alive" reference. Leaving satisfied.
 
2013-04-23 09:04:29 PM

Therion: and some people thought that clerics were only allowed to use blunt weapons ...


A specialty priest of the LDS apparently can use edged weapons.
 
2013-04-23 09:09:26 PM

toraque: [www.squidmobile.com image 414x256]
"I kick arse for the Lord!"


He went out like such a punk, too.
 
2013-04-23 10:37:50 PM
content.internetvideoarchive.com
Approves

/In reality, done in one
 
2013-04-23 11:25:32 PM
Now we know the true secret the Latter Day Saints are hiding, their fighting technique, Creepy Bishop.
 
2013-04-23 11:27:23 PM
There can be only one.... hundred and forty four thousand.
 
2013-04-23 11:27:50 PM
who is a bishop with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Fight scene caught on film. (Probably NSFW)
 
2013-04-23 11:28:35 PM

toraque: [www.squidmobile.com image 414x256]
"I kick arse for the Lord!"


Always awesome when the appropriate response leads the pack.
 
2013-04-23 11:34:26 PM
So, apparently, the penis NOT mightier than the sword.
 
2013-04-23 11:35:21 PM
A useful godbotherer? What a refreshing change. From the kiddie fiddling, I mean.
 
2013-04-23 11:35:46 PM
What happened to turn thy other cheek?
 
2013-04-23 11:36:46 PM

Apos: Apos: Never thought I'd see "LDS" and "samurai sword" in the same article. Kinda unnerving.

Fixed.


Shouldn't be all that surprising.  Within Zion, martial arts is eerily commonplace.  It's great for mental focus and few things are more unnerving than cocking into any fighting stance.  Except maybe the *shhhhink* of drawing a sword or cocking a pump shotgun in the dark.

Relax, we're on your side.
 
2013-04-23 11:40:13 PM

Loucifer: There can be only one.... hundred and forty four thousand.


Er... that's the JW pedos, not LDS.
 
2013-04-23 11:41:06 PM

"Several neighbors heard the noise and came outside and confronted Eggertsen. One of those neighbors was Kent Hendrix, who is a bishop with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and a black belt in karate."


Hey Kent, where you going with that sword in your hand?

 
2013-04-23 11:42:18 PM

Somacandra: Plus, if he's ever chased by a gang of evil immortals he can just hide in the nearest Mormon temple. Except if its Mario Van Peebles.  But then again, I doubt Kane is up to speed on his Temple Recommend.


I LOL'd

/recovered Mormon
//1000 internets to you
 
2013-04-23 11:43:07 PM

Flips the lights back on...

toraque: [www.squidmobile.com image 414x256]
"I kick arse for the Lord!"


4.bp.blogspot.com


/Now we're really done

//Flips the lights back off

 
2013-04-23 11:43:44 PM
Hiro Protagonist unavailable for comment.
 
2013-04-23 11:46:35 PM
TFA: I've never had to use my martial arts until today

No, you brandished a sword; you didn't employ your martial arts.
 
2013-04-23 11:50:15 PM
Little known fact: Scientologists are trained to fight pirate-style.  The final showdown on the eve of Ragnarok will feature LDS Ninjas vs Scientologist Pirates in a battle-royal for your soul.

The Bible during the next age will be farking awesome.
 
2013-04-23 11:51:31 PM
OMG!

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-23 11:53:08 PM
Is it weird of me to be upset that nobody every refers to the damn sword by its proper name?


Nefarious: Therion: and some people thought that clerics were only allowed to use blunt weapons ...

A specialty priest of the LDS apparently can use edged weapons.


They changed that in the 3rd edition anyway, iirc.
 
2013-04-23 11:55:47 PM

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: Loucifer: There can be only one.... hundred and forty four thousand.

Er... that's the JW pedos, not LDS.


The Joss Whedon Pedos? I thought that was cancelled.
 
2013-04-23 11:57:22 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Approves

/hot, like the fires of hell
 
2013-04-23 11:58:39 PM
"I jumped up, threw my clothes on, and grabbed my sword" - Those LDS folk do EVERYTHING backwards.
 
2013-04-23 11:59:36 PM

toraque: [www.squidmobile.com image 414x256]
"I kick arse for the Lord!"


Aaand thread over...
 
2013-04-24 12:00:50 AM
Rev Theo?
static.schlockmercenary.com
static.schlockmercenary.com
/any schlockers out there?
 
2013-04-24 12:03:34 AM
www2.alibris-static.com
 
2013-04-24 12:04:08 AM
www.zuguide.com
Are you a mean motherfarkin servant of God???
 
2013-04-24 12:04:11 AM

fusillade762: Is it weird of me to be upset that nobody every refers to the damn sword by its proper name?


If so, I'm weird as well.
 
2013-04-24 12:06:12 AM

Snapper Carr: fusillade762: Is it weird of me to be upset that nobody every refers to the damn sword by its proper name?

If so, I'm weird as well.


you guys fap to Bud K much??
 
2013-04-24 12:07:11 AM
Not news: Clergyman assists woman being assaulted.

Subby must be living in a parallel universe.
 
2013-04-24 12:08:14 AM

skinink: "Several neighbors heard the noise and came outside and confronted Eggertsen. One of those neighbors was Kent Hendrix, who is a bishop with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and a black belt in karate."
Hey Kent, where you going with that sword in your hand?


Going to protect a young lady, saw her getting jumped by a crazy man.
 
2013-04-24 12:08:23 AM
Not news: Clergyman assaults woman being assisted. FIFY
 
2013-04-24 12:10:37 AM
/oblig
 
2013-04-24 12:11:25 AM
Hey LDS Church. Let's see how your mighty Bishop holds up against some REAL competition!

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-24 12:12:00 AM

Pointy Tail of Satan: OMG!

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x300]


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDnE-5lD7w8

THE BISHOP!
 
2013-04-24 12:12:35 AM
argh, stupid gif too big. here
 
2013-04-24 12:14:28 AM

gogglesdonothing: Snapper Carr: fusillade762: Is it weird of me to be upset that nobody every refers to the damn sword by its proper name?

If so, I'm weird as well.

you guys fap to Bud K much??


Since I have no idea what you're talking about I'll have to go with "No".
 
2013-04-24 12:14:31 AM
why. why will it not let me post this image? http://api.ning.com/files/DTVIDzT6Fgm3SEkM38FIctcrTR2ZqjTzz5viOtFoJoLs fIHFnBUzflNGCOtnET2IhU*hIWXx9npgAlcNyZAg4veqJBjaTb9D/Orgazmo_Jesus_Gif .gif
 
2013-04-24 12:16:16 AM
Just so we're clear.

LDS + sword = good
LSD + sword = still bad
 
2013-04-24 12:16:44 AM
Mormons are usually gun people.
 
2013-04-24 12:19:03 AM

ultraholland: TFA: I've never had to use my martial arts until today

No, you brandished a sword; you didn't employ your martial arts.


Drawing a sword is a martial art. It's call Iaido.
 
2013-04-24 12:19:24 AM
i33.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-24 12:19:42 AM

Therion: and some people thought that clerics were only allowed to use blunt weapons ...


+1
 
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