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(Newser)   Second child dies after parents pick prayer over medicine. Guess how the first one died? Go on, guess   (newser.com) divider line 65
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15964 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2013 at 8:48 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-23 07:54:35 PM  
24 votes:
No matter one's personal theology (or lack thereof) I think we can all agree that if there is an afterlife these snapperheads have a permanent reservation in the room by the elevator in the most disused wing of the Endless Vuvuzela & Pan Flute Orchestra covers "Nickleback" Concert building adjacent to the Never-Ceasing Rerun of "Batman & Robin" Screen next to the Lake of Burning Hobo Semen where the roving Octo-Penised Rapenocerouses always have full bottles of Cialis.
2013-04-23 08:06:19 PM  
5 votes:
A stampede of wild elephants?
In their living room?
Between 3:55 and 4:00 PM?
On the Fourth of July?
During a hail storm?


/and one baby zebra
2013-04-23 09:37:04 PM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-04-23 09:15:59 PM  
4 votes:
And people wonder why ObamaCare eschewed the Single Prayer System.
2013-04-23 09:08:31 PM  
4 votes:
Sudden Infant Derp Syndrome
2013-04-23 05:04:59 PM  
4 votes:
Obama ate it?
2013-04-23 04:33:26 PM  
4 votes:
He fixed the cable?
2013-04-24 12:05:27 AM  
3 votes:
www.explosm.net
2013-04-23 10:49:32 PM  
3 votes:
Those times your babies were dying? I was on the beach leaving footprints in the sand. Next time maybe you should call a doctor.
2013-04-23 09:49:56 PM  
3 votes:
i303.photobucket.com
2013-04-23 09:09:50 PM  
3 votes:
i303.photobucket.com
2013-04-23 08:55:35 PM  
3 votes:
Seven other kids. I want to go beat these people with a lead pipe. In the Conservatory.
2013-04-23 08:26:44 PM  
3 votes:

Ned Stark: Was it a lightningbolt?


lightningbolt!  lightningbolt!  lightningbolt!
2013-04-23 04:48:29 PM  
3 votes:

sithon: And these are the people breeding in great numbers .


Well, I suppose they can stand to lose a few now and then, no?
2013-04-24 12:16:00 AM  
2 votes:

jst3p: theknuckler_33: jst3p: theknuckler_33: That is entirely my point. It was a joke and only a joke. My issue was only with the statement that the joke was preached as some sort of standard Catholic (or any other Christian) teaching. I've made this point several times and is the only point I've wanted to make. For some reason, my point is not being acknowledged for what it is.

For what it is worth: I have been part of some pretty lax congregations. It would be a stretch to call it a "Common Catholic parable" but if I haven't heard heard that joke in church (I heard it so long ago I don't remember where it was) I have heard ones similar. It isn't offensive and it makes a good point about God working for us in unexpected and simple ways. A good message to send since the same God that used to perform major miracles that would make crowds get down on bended knee is shy now that there are camcorders and cell phone cams.

It isn't unreasonable to think this joke was told in church, particularly with more contemporary non-denominationals out there.
'
Oh for goodness sakes. Fine. Mainstream religions preach that God tells people who pray to him for... whatever... that they are morans for not taking advantage of secular solutions to problems they face.

skullcrusher. this is as close as you are going to get. I suggest accepting this apology.


I don't need an apology, he didn't say anything to me. I think he just misinterpreted the story. God sent us to help him interpret it correctly. ;)
2013-04-23 10:10:11 PM  
2 votes:

PanicMan: Bees?  Was it bees?  I bet it was bees.


gorillafilmmagazineblog.files.wordpress.com
Approves.
2013-04-23 09:44:10 PM  
2 votes:

ciberido: WhoIsPurpleGoo: Bees?

Resting after pining for the fjords?


you know who else liked fjords?

www.bbc.co.uk
2013-04-23 09:21:23 PM  
2 votes:
www.nationnews.com

They obviously prayed to the wrong god
2013-04-23 09:12:59 PM  
2 votes:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: No matter one's personal theology (or lack thereof) I think we can all agree that if there is an afterlife these snapperheads have a permanent reservation in the room by the elevator in the most disused wing of the Endless Vuvuzela & Pan Flute Orchestra covers "Nickleback" Concert building adjacent to the Never-Ceasing Rerun of "Batman & Robin" Screen next to the Lake of Burning Hobo Semen where the roving Octo-Penised Rapenocerouses always have full bottles of Cialis.


isn't that across the hall from the Weird Al memorial polka room?
2013-04-23 09:05:21 PM  
2 votes:

ManateeGag: so, this is OK, but abortion is murder?


You have to understand something about the Anti-abortion movement. It's not about "unborn life" in the least. It's about forcing births - both to "punish" people they view as sinful for their acts, and to have more of a base to build their followers upon. Especially when you delve into the pro-birthers that subscribe to the "Christian identity" and "Quiverfull" phillosophies, they care about breeding followers for their "Army of God". They care fark-all about those babies after they are spit out from the womb - this shows in the typical overlap of beliefs against intervention against socioeconomic disparity and the lack of healthcare.

This is why no one should be using pro-life to describe these people. They do NOT care about that life after it's quiefed out.
2013-04-23 08:52:16 PM  
2 votes:
Sweet!
oso.stanford.edu
2013-04-23 08:36:09 PM  
2 votes:
got run over by a crappy purple scion
2013-04-23 05:25:57 PM  
2 votes:
Bees?
2013-04-23 04:48:58 PM  
2 votes:
so, this is OK, but abortion is murder?
2013-04-23 04:24:37 PM  
2 votes:
Was it a lightningbolt?
2013-04-24 02:53:49 AM  
1 votes:

skullkrusher: MeanJean: Fusillade762

MeanJean
You know what would really be great? If the remaining children were fostered by gay couples.

That would be an awesome part to the punishment.

Atheists. I think atheists are more reviled that gays these days.

How about gay atheists? =D

now you're just repeating yourself

/no, not serious save your quizzical dogs


Gaytheists.
2013-04-24 12:27:09 AM  
1 votes:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: The real punchline to the joke is that God THEN said "But I'm sending you to hell anyway for that one time when you were 15 and you masturbated while thinking of Tom Selleck."


Now that was an atheistic joke.

/I LOLed
2013-04-24 12:19:32 AM  
1 votes:
The real punchline to the joke is that God THEN said "But I'm sending you to hell anyway for that one time when you were 15 and you masturbated while thinking of Tom Selleck."
2013-04-23 11:26:27 PM  
1 votes:

boozehat: Bonobo62: Idiots. Laughter is the best medicine. Not prayer. Laughter. Prayer is only the third-best medicine.

i'll bite....

what's the second?

or is this like #2 with the underpants nomes?


Number two is actual medicine. Though third is actually placibo, prayer is fourth unless you group them together.

Studies have show prayer to be detrimental, worse than placebos.
2013-04-23 11:12:42 PM  
1 votes:
Darwin, his face gray and his eyes bright.
2013-04-23 11:06:26 PM  
1 votes:

GleefulFiend: Csb

When I was 10 my parents went to some kind of retreat and left me in the care of my religious fundamentalist uncle and his family in rural Oregon. One day I was playing hide and seek in the barn with my cousins when I fell out of the hayloft and split my knee open on a combine blade. My uncle, who did not believe in doctors or medicine (hell, he barely believed in soap) put a butterfly bandage on it and told me not to bend my knee for the rest of the week until my parents got back.

I needed stitches I never got, but I escaped the situation with a stiff knee and a gnarly scar (thankfully, I had been immunized against tetanus). I was a lot luckier than his youngest son, who self-medicated for depression with a chair and a noose. I was a lot luckier than the diabetic kid who died in the nurse's office at the school where my mom worked because the kid's family used prayer instead of insulin. That was 30 years ago.

/csb

Point is, this problem is not new and we as a society seem to be really bad at solving it. I hope they are convicted of murder this time.


How were you supposed to properly pray to the Almighty without bending your knee? Your uncle was a lukewarm Christian at best.
2013-04-23 11:04:37 PM  
1 votes:

sithon: And these are the people breeding in great numbers .


Yeah, well they'd better pop them out as fast as they can since they keep killing them. And before the wife dies an entirely preventable death due to complications in (constant) pregnancy or childbirth.
2013-04-23 11:00:15 PM  
1 votes:
If God could clone himself, which one would win in a hot dog eating contest?
2013-04-23 10:54:43 PM  
1 votes:

Omahawg: I pray for boobs in my email

don't disappoint me again, god!



You're obviously doing it wrong...

4.bp.blogspot.com
2013-04-23 10:44:51 PM  
1 votes:

rmatthewware: Every group of people that becomes large enough will have their nuts.  Most Christians aren't like this.  Most of us wouldn't let a child suffer.  If you want to condemn these people, I'll be right there with you.  But don't blame Christianity because some of his followers are idiots.


Climb down off your cross, no one was blaming Christianity.
2013-04-23 10:34:21 PM  
1 votes:
IS THERE ANYTHING THIS FICTIONAL CHARACTER CAN'T DO???



/i be trollin'
//Jesus be hatin'
2013-04-23 10:28:57 PM  
1 votes:

Churchy LaFemme: HighlanderRPI: The amazing part is that they have 7 other children that have survived thus far without falling prey to their parent's stupidity

Let me guess: they don't believe in birth control either?


If god wanted you not to have kids he'd have miracled your balls off.
2013-04-23 10:01:40 PM  
1 votes:
A man was in his three-story house one day when a flood started. After a bit, a police car came by and the policemen asked him to evacuate with them so that he would be saved. He said, "No thanks - I will pray and God will save me."

The water kept coming up, and the man went upstairs and leaned out his window. A fire department boat came by, and the fireman asked him to get in so that he would be saved. Again, the man said, "No thanks - I will pray and God will save me."

The water kept coming, and the man was forced up to his roof. A Coast Guard helicopter came by, and a rescue swimmer came down to offer the man a hand up. But the man waved the swimmer off, and he shouted up as loud as he could "I will pray and God will save me!"

The house was quickly washed away, and the man drowned.

At Judgement, the man asked God why God had not saved him, and God replied "I sent a car, a boat, and a helicopter - what more did you want?"

This parable is told a lot in Catholic churches - I've heard it dozens of times. It's a shame these wackjobs hadn't. If God is good and God is everywhere, then God is in the doctors and the hospitals and the four bucks worth of generic antibiotics that would have saved your son's life, you monsters.
2013-04-23 10:00:48 PM  
1 votes:

SpikeStrip: got run over by a crappy purple scion


Foolishly attacked a gazebo without rolling up a fire mage first.
2013-04-23 09:51:04 PM  
1 votes:
Playing soccer with Baby Quinn:

img.photobucket.com
2013-04-23 09:47:57 PM  
1 votes:

jayhawk88: Seven other kids. I want to go beat these people with a lead pipe. In the Conservatory.


We'll just sterilize them.  I got an arc welder in the garage doing nothing.
2013-04-23 09:46:33 PM  
1 votes:

IntertubeUser: More evidence that religion is child abuse.  This is perhaps the most heinous of examples.  But parents who teach their children that the earth is 6,000 years old, God hates them queers, etc. are other examples.  But even something as innocuous as faith being a legitimate substitute for evidence or teaching kids to believe in supernatural causes (the basis of religion) leaves impressionable young minds handicapped in the real world.

Religion IS child abuse.


I think that's needs to be qualified. Religion itself is not the problem.  It's an idea. You can't get rid of ideas.  We were once going to bomb Communism out of existence in Vietnam. That was a stated goal. How did that work out?

It's the creators and practitioners of various religion that we should take issue with.

We're all down on Catholicism because of pedophilia, right? I rent 3 houses to Catholic Communities Charities Services.  Have for a while.  They do good things.  Very similar to the Section 8 program. Should I have said no because it was Catholic? By the way the Catholic church feeds a lot of people. In the 6 to 7 digit range. Say no to it?

These people are nutters, but don't paint a broad stroke against religion. Get after the nutters. Most religious people feel an obligation to do the golden rule.
2013-04-23 09:41:25 PM  
1 votes:

Nadie_AZ: In a firefight outside of Mosul?


Bitten by a møøse?

/I've heard their bites kan be nasti
2013-04-23 09:39:49 PM  
1 votes:

poonesfarm: Mauled by a saber-toothed tiger?


Attacked by an assailant wielding loganberries?
2013-04-23 09:27:20 PM  
1 votes:

HindiDiscoMonster: Abox: FTA they could face a prison sentence as long as 10 years.

And like Job, retaining faith despite continued misery by God's hand.

I think you spelled Satan wrong...

/Fark, I am disappoint - I thought you knew your bibles... so you could bash it more effectively.



This wasn't meant to bash, just to predict their reaction to being convicted.  They will think the deaths of their kids and their prison sentence is all part of God's glorious plan. But thanks for the correction.
2013-04-23 09:27:15 PM  
1 votes:
Being religious is one thing, but being willfully ignorant is... pretty much the same thing.
2013-04-23 09:27:13 PM  
1 votes:
There are few times when Farkers embarrass me. This is one of them.

God forbid any of you ever have to live through something of this nature. I hope you never have to answer the phone and hear your inconsolably weeping wife on the other end of the line as she mutters the only words she is able to muster "they cant find a heartbeat".
2013-04-23 09:23:39 PM  
1 votes:

farkmedown: Bacontastesgood: rmatthewware: Most Christians aren't like this.  Most of us wouldn't let a child suffer.  ...... But don't blame Christianity because some of his followers are idiots.

Who are you talking to?  I realize fark is rich in athiests and agnostics, but almost all of us recognize that most Christians are reasonable people.  You are like 75% of the US population after all.  There would be huge problems if most of you never went to or took your kids to hospitals.

I was raised as a Christian Scientist.

I got better.


Thank God!
2013-04-23 09:19:57 PM  
1 votes:

Bacontastesgood: rmatthewware: Most Christians aren't like this.  Most of us wouldn't let a child suffer.  ...... But don't blame Christianity because some of his followers are idiots.

Who are you talking to?  I realize fark is rich in athiests and agnostics, but almost all of us recognize that most Christians are reasonable people.  You are like 75% of the US population after all.  There would be huge problems if most of you never went to or took your kids to hospitals.


I was raised as a Christian Scientist.

I got better.
2013-04-23 09:17:44 PM  
1 votes:
Science flies people to the moon. Religion flies people into buildings.
2013-04-23 09:17:41 PM  
1 votes:
Sterilize both of them so they can't reproduce again. If their prayers cure that then they can have kids again.
2013-04-23 09:17:26 PM  
1 votes:

HighlanderRPI: The amazing part is that they have 7 other children that have survived thus far without falling prey to their parent's stupidity


Not anymore they don't. The state took them away. We believe in parental rights strongly enough to let them keep their kids when they kill one of them, but two is pushing it!
2013-04-23 09:15:34 PM  
1 votes:

SpikeStrip: well, duh. let me show you my nickleback collection


You...you monster. PEOPLE LIKE YOU MURDERED THE JEWS!

jst3p: [i303.photobucket.com image 716x535]


*snerk* BABBYQUARIUM IS NOW IN PLAY!
2013-04-23 09:08:22 PM  
1 votes:
On the plus side, they won't have to suffer through Obamacare...
2013-04-23 09:07:18 PM  
1 votes:
Because of dark wizards?
2013-04-23 09:06:10 PM  
1 votes:
Bees?  Was it bees?  I bet it was bees.
2013-04-23 09:05:31 PM  
1 votes:

Churchy LaFemme: HighlanderRPI: The amazing part is that they have 7 other children that have survived thus far without falling prey to their parent's stupidity

Let me guess: they don't believe in birth control either?


It seems like their method has worked twice.
2013-04-23 09:00:46 PM  
1 votes:
farm5.staticflickr.com
2013-04-23 08:59:36 PM  
1 votes:

jayhawk88: Seven other kids. I want to go beat these people with a lead pipe. In the Conservatory.


Professor Plum? Is that you?
2013-04-23 08:55:30 PM  
1 votes:
Imagine if they were Muslim.....
2013-04-23 08:40:59 PM  
1 votes:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: No matter one's personal theology (or lack thereof) I think we can all agree that if there is an afterlife these snapperheads have a permanent reservation in the room by the elevator in the most disused wing of the Endless Vuvuzela & Pan Flute Orchestra covers "Nickleback" Concert building adjacent to the Never-Ceasing Rerun of "Batman & Robin" Screen next to the Lake of Burning Hobo Semen where the roving Octo-Penised Rapenocerouses always have full bottles of Cialis.


The mewling enema bags feel quite neglected.
2013-04-23 05:05:04 PM  
1 votes:
Was he the child I had to beat to death with his own shoe?  Hey, I really needed those brown M&M's...
2013-04-23 05:01:22 PM  
1 votes:
In a firefight outside of Mosul?
2013-04-23 04:49:48 PM  
1 votes:
Run over by the Popemobile?
2013-04-23 04:37:21 PM  
1 votes:
Mauled by a saber-toothed tiger?
 
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