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(US Naval Institute)   26 U.S. Navy ship naming controversies. If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it   (news.usni.org) divider line 62
    More: Interesting, U.S. Navy, United States Navy ships, United States, U.S. Code, USS Constitution, ship named, socialists  
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15575 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2013 at 4:59 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-23 05:08:19 PM
5 votes:
No one living should have a ship named after them.

That is just the way it should be.
2013-04-23 04:33:05 PM
4 votes:

FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover


Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.
2013-04-23 05:17:14 PM
3 votes:

drjekel_mrhyde: U.S.S Microsoft  Big and bloated
U.S.S Google Super spy ship that follows other ships around collecting data to sell
U.S.S Apple Cost over runs, not as fast as other ships, outdated tech, but looks hella cool
U.S.S Walmart Sold to China within 3 years
Seriously how soon will they start selling naming rights to corps


Wouldn't we purchase the U.S.S. Wal-mart FROM China?  And it's got lead paint, and was manufactured by massed contingents of  child wage slaves, etc?
2013-04-23 05:05:55 PM
3 votes:
How about the USS United States?

Yo dawg, I heard you liked the US. So we put the US in your USS so can freedom while you're freedoming.
2013-04-23 05:27:05 PM
2 votes:
USS Drew Curtis

/has a 5 degree list to port built-in
2013-04-23 05:16:54 PM
2 votes:
Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.
2013-04-23 05:14:38 PM
2 votes:
Given all the whining and moaning in the article over naming issues, the most obvious way forward is that we simply choose names that EVERYONE will hate or otherwise dislike equally: name all new ships after My Little Pony characters.

/with matching paint jobs
//then we'd get Congressional sessions arguing the superiority of one pony versus the other alternatives
///you can't tell me it wouldn't be more work than they're getting done now
2013-04-23 04:40:01 PM
2 votes:
Ships named for Alaska

You want to start a flamewar?  Go onto a naval wargaming forum and ask whether the USS Alaska (CB-1) was a cruiser or a battlecruiser - it's some of the neckbeardiest fun you can have.

USS Intrepid-The carrier known as the "Fighting I" has a storied history that includes battling in the Pacific and recovering astronauts before becoming a popular museum in New York City. When the Navy announced in 1987 that a small (and some said ugly) ocean-surveillance ship would be the USNS Intrepid, veterans of the mighty carrier were insulted that the name of their beloved ship would be bestowed on a far less fearsome vessel. The name was changed to Tenacious.

That's INCREDIBLY stupid.  Did they change the name of Yorktown (CG-48)?  What about North Carolina (SSN-777)?  Olympia?  Alabama?  Heck, they named CGN-39 AND SSN-775 after Texas, and BB-35's still rusting away in San Jacinto.  And the Little Rock (LCS-9) is about to be commissioned.  Why did Intrepid's veterans get their jimmies rustled, because it wasn't a sub or a cruiser?  Guess what, naming conventions have changed.

Be thankful your ship is one that got put into a museum.  There's a lot of Enterprise (CV-6) vets that were steamed about that for decades.
2013-04-23 04:16:47 PM
2 votes:
No problem without of them. Cesar Chavez probably wouldn't want his name on a Navy ship. Giffords probably didn't deserve one. Using Confederate names was a poor choice
2013-04-23 03:37:51 PM
2 votes:
Some people just like to biatch.
2013-04-23 11:22:23 PM
1 votes:
I enjoyed it when the Department of Agriculture named one of their cafeterias after Alferd Packer.
2013-04-23 08:25:44 PM
1 votes:
I could see naming some ships after astronauts, Neil Armstrong was Navy, as were others.

USS Armstrong has a nice ring to it.

don't think they'd ever consider my favorite: USS Death From The Skies :D
2013-04-23 07:36:12 PM
1 votes:
When I saw this one I was like "Cool! I didn't know we even had something like that."

news.usni.org

Then I looked it up and discovered we don't :(
2013-04-23 07:26:03 PM
1 votes:

theurge14: USS Imperialist Pig


I prefer USS Wrath of God.
2013-04-23 07:24:27 PM
1 votes:
The US are shiat at naming ships. I like how the British gave names like Dauntless, Warspite, Dreadnought, Revenge, Intrepid, Alligator, Centurion, Conflict, Rattlesnake, Thunderer, and Valiant.

Admittedly the British also named a ship Romney, but at the time they were very, very, drunk.
2013-04-23 07:13:41 PM
1 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I was told (a probably apocryphal story) about a USCG ship, Firebush. Supposedly one of the COs was a redheaded female, and the first announcement of "Firebush, arriving" was met with many hearty lulz.


huh, one of the guys i went to A-school with had been on the firebush...
2013-04-23 06:58:36 PM
1 votes:
www.global-air.com

Neither shy nor embarrassed, the British frankly proclaimed their confidence and ambition in the names of their ships. (new window)
2013-04-23 06:57:01 PM
1 votes:
While I was a reservist, I was in a unit that would mobilize to this DDG...
upload.wikimedia.org

Of course, there is the boat that was named after my classmate's dad...
upload.wikimedia.org
2013-04-23 06:52:07 PM
1 votes:

skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups


You might not be aware of this but there are a lot of Jesus freaks who are rabidly anti-war.
2013-04-23 06:50:40 PM
1 votes:

maram500: Great Janitor: USS Starbucks - Starts off as just one ship, soon multiples and is found everywhere
USS Trojan - Best at protection
USS Snuggles - Nothing worse than to have to admit that your ship was sunk by the Snuggles.
USS Pepsi - rest of the fleet keeps calling it the USS Coke
USS Xbox 360 - Red Ring of Death isn't a new weapon it uses, it's what sank it.

USS Wii - Every screen onboard looks like crap compared to those on other ships
USS Walmart - Cheapest ship in the fleet; crewed by people desperate for any kind of work
USS Target - Better than USS Walmart, but just barely
USS Ford Motor Co. - Often found adrift, since something is always broken
USS Bugatti Veyron - Ridiculously overpriced, but faster than anything else
USS Electronic Arts - Cannot be operated without an active internet connection
USS AT&T - Wait...it actually works? Wow.


USS Primerica - Each sailor has to pay $100 to join the crew and then has to recruit his friends as well.
USS Disney - Just decommissioned the USS Lucasarts, a perfectly good ship with real potential.
USS Colt - The media keeps referring to it as the USS Glock.
USS Lexus - Crewed by the USS Toyota
2013-04-23 06:50:34 PM
1 votes:

Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.


I must say, yes it is. A bit more classy and subtle than the USS Might Makes Right.
2013-04-23 06:49:10 PM
1 votes:
Ahh, the good old days when political influence could be bartered for with naming rights instead of the current practice of paying cold, hard cash. The Citizens United ruling really stole the thunder from the Armed Forces and the USPS.
2013-04-23 06:46:38 PM
1 votes:

Aidan: m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name

As a woman and a programmer, with all due respect to those sailors and officers, they should sit the fark down and show some farking respect. Madam Hopper was a boss.


yeah i doubt a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name....i can see some joking about the name but she was the most capable (non CVN) ship in the world when she was built...they are certainly proud to serve on her.
2013-04-23 06:39:11 PM
1 votes:

Great Janitor: USS Starbucks - Starts off as just one ship, soon multiples and is found everywhere
USS Trojan - Best at protection
USS Snuggles - Nothing worse than to have to admit that your ship was sunk by the Snuggles.
USS Pepsi - rest of the fleet keeps calling it the USS Coke
USS Xbox 360 - Red Ring of Death isn't a new weapon it uses, it's what sank it.


USS Wii - Every screen onboard looks like crap compared to those on other ships
USS Walmart - Cheapest ship in the fleet; crewed by people desperate for any kind of work
USS Target - Better than USS Walmart, but just barely
USS Ford Motor Co. - Often found adrift, since something is always broken
USS Bugatti Veyron - Ridiculously overpriced, but faster than anything else
USS Electronic Arts - Cannot be operated without an active internet connection
USS AT&T - Wait...it actually works? Wow.
2013-04-23 06:32:08 PM
1 votes:
USS Starbucks - Starts off as just one ship, soon multiples and is found everywhere
USS Trojan - Best at protection
USS Snuggles - Nothing worse than to have to admit that your ship was sunk by the Snuggles.
USS Pepsi - rest of the fleet keeps calling it the USS Coke
USS Xbox 360 - Red Ring of Death isn't a new weapon it uses, it's what sank it.
2013-04-23 06:24:08 PM
1 votes:

skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups


Catholic church was very unhappy. The Body of Christ is supposed to save mankind not destroy it with nuclear weapons.
2013-04-23 06:22:00 PM
1 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I was told (a probably apocryphal story) about a USCG ship, Firebush. Supposedly one of the COs was a redheaded female, and the first announcement of "Firebush, arriving" was met with many hearty lulz.


I retired from the CG a few years ago and I heard that story about a hundred times or more throughout my career.  No idea if it's true or not, but I would guess it's BS.

/ and Jimmy Buffet was never in the Coast Guard
// but yes, Popeye was a Coastie (and Navy, and Army)
2013-04-23 06:18:00 PM
1 votes:
"If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it"

www.nicaraguanbugle.com

+ Bragg, Lee, Hood, A.P. Hill, Gordon.......
2013-04-23 06:14:53 PM
1 votes:

cman: No one living should have a ship named after them.

That is just the way it should be.


Exactly. Ships have souls, and the ship can't share its soul with a living person, now can it?
2013-04-23 06:14:45 PM
1 votes:
USS Polysyllabic Designation?
2013-04-23 06:04:23 PM
1 votes:

ds615: This is why the Soviets just numbered things.  It's hard to get all riled up about the KV-132.


That was pragmatic. They saved a lot of money on paint that way, because people were always falling in and out of favor.
2013-04-23 06:00:52 PM
1 votes:
USS Emperor Norton?
2013-04-23 05:58:11 PM
1 votes:

Aidan: m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name

As a woman and a programmer, with all due respect to those sailors and officers, they should sit the fark down and show some farking respect. Madam Hopper was a boss.


Not to mention the fact she was also a Navy Admiral.
2013-04-23 05:56:11 PM
1 votes:
img199.imageshack.us
2013-04-23 05:47:06 PM
1 votes:

Bermuda59: I always found it strange that they would name an ammuntion ship USS Pyro


Ammuniton ships are names for Volcanoes and words denoting fire and explosives.
2013-04-23 05:45:46 PM
1 votes:

drjekel_mrhyde: U.S.S Microsoft  Big and bloated
U.S.S Google Super spy ship that follows other ships around collecting data to sell
U.S.S Apple Cost over runs, not as fast as other ships, outdated tech, but looks hella cool
U.S.S Walmart Sold to China within 3 years
Seriously how soon will they start selling naming rights to corps


you are on to something my friend. think how much money the u.s. gov. could save if we decked these bad boys out like nascars!
2013-04-23 05:45:22 PM
1 votes:

kbronsito: one of my grandfather's cousins had a navy ship named after him and all he had to do was jump on a granade during the korean war. it was sold to pakistan in the 80s though. I think its probably scrap metal by now.


Why would Pakistan want an old grenade? And I thought it was common knowledge that most grenades become scraps of metal. No real surprise there.

/Cool story though, I had a Grandad on the U.S.S. Pompon in WWII.
//Old guy tells some really crazy tales.
2013-04-23 05:44:16 PM
1 votes:
Aw, the Stennis.  I was on that ship for 3 1/2 years.
2013-04-23 05:43:10 PM
1 votes:

BizarreMan: Seems to me that  USS Hunley would be a good name for a sub.


You mean naming a ship after a vessel that went on one mission, yet managed to sink and kill its crew twice?
2013-04-23 05:35:19 PM
1 votes:
Nobody alive should have a ship, road, bridge, building named after them. Still cant believe they named a highway in Georgia after Cynthia McKinney.
2013-04-23 05:33:58 PM
1 votes:
The Brits have the best names for their Navy
HMS Ajax
HMS Battleaxe (with Bea Arthur Figurehead)
HMS Vendetta
HMS Vengeance...
2013-04-23 05:30:17 PM
1 votes:
Sequestration problems? Sell naming rights to ships. Helllooooo USS Duke Sucks.
2013-04-23 05:28:39 PM
1 votes:

skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups


It looks bad when if it is sunk (Jesus didn't protect "his" namesake from the evil USSR).  Same reason Hitler renamed the Deutschland.
2013-04-23 05:27:20 PM
1 votes:

UNC_Samurai: You want to start a flamewar?  Go onto a naval wargaming forum and ask whether the USS Alaska (CB-1) was a cruiser or a battlecruiser - it's some of the neckbeardiest fun you can have.


Clearly a battlecruiser, since they were designed to hunt down and kill hostile cruisers, which is about the same as saying "designed to hunt down and destroy enemy convoys and their escorts".  We just didn't want to use battlecruiser since that was associated with cowardly raids on merchant shipping and most of the battlecruisers we'd faced had come to a bad end.

Although i never really got why the neckbeards get so worked up over battlecruiser/pocket battleship/heavy cruiser differences.  Pre war the Germans built all kinds of stuff with the basic idea of "build something as close to a battleship as possible, but keep it just small enough the Brits can't biatch too much".  The Japanese were doing whatever the hell they wanted and calling it whatever they wanted.  Trying make the Alaska class fit in with any of those ships is futile when the designation of the ships only had a passing acquaintance with reality.

/it would have been interesting to see a Deutschland or Hipper class go 1v1 with an interwar battleship
2013-04-23 05:26:01 PM
1 votes:
How about the USS John McCain?

You know its coming as soon as that shiathead dies.
2013-04-23 05:25:05 PM
1 votes:
DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name
2013-04-23 05:24:56 PM
1 votes:

maxx2112: To no one's everlasting glory, there isn't a ship named Rodger Young.


/ yet


Let's get on the bounce.
2013-04-23 05:23:57 PM
1 votes:

Strolpol: Given all the whining and moaning in the article over naming issues, the most obvious way forward is that we simply choose names that EVERYONE will hate or otherwise dislike equally: name all new ships after My Little Pony characters.

/with matching paint jobs
//then we'd get Congressional sessions arguing the superiority of one pony versus the other alternatives
///you can't tell me it wouldn't be more work than they're getting done now


Come on; who wouldn't want to serve on the super carrier U.S.S Fluttershy?
2013-04-23 05:23:05 PM
1 votes:
Using adjectives and adverbs is pretty uncontroversial.

HMS Glorious, HMS Invincible, HMS Fabulous, etc.
2013-04-23 05:22:39 PM
1 votes:
There are a lot of pedantic people who sure get pissy over little "naming conventions."

It's like they're all Farkers.
2013-04-23 05:20:15 PM
1 votes:
To no one's everlasting glory, there isn't a ship named Rodger Young.


/ yet
2013-04-23 05:19:49 PM
1 votes:
Let's make sure that history never forgets the name ENTERPRISE.

/ pretty controversial stuff
2013-04-23 05:19:29 PM
1 votes:
USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups
2013-04-23 05:15:58 PM
1 votes:
jeftex.files.wordpress.com
2013-04-23 05:11:42 PM
1 votes:

Jubeebee: USS Jesus Tapdancing Christ - minesweeper


golf clap

Article was a complete waste of time until: Independence-class littoral combat


That's a cool little ship
2013-04-23 05:10:54 PM
1 votes:
USS Turing.
2013-04-23 05:09:33 PM
1 votes:
Our naming went downhill when we went with political figures for the carriers instead of tradition names.  It was even worse once we started naming them after people who hadn't even died yet.  Even worse was when we provoke naming tradition on the SSBNs and SSNs.

Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.


J. Edna Hoover.
2013-04-23 05:09:19 PM
1 votes:
The USS Jesus Christ on a Bike
The USS Miserable Lardass
The USS I Know You Are What Am I
The USS Shiatsnacks
2013-04-23 05:07:31 PM
1 votes:
This is why the Soviets just numbered things.  It's hard to get all riled up about the KV-132.
2013-04-23 04:33:54 PM
1 votes:
U.S.S. Reacharound
2013-04-23 04:15:34 PM
1 votes:
U.S.S. Gene Masseth
2013-04-23 04:10:08 PM
1 votes:
The U.S.S. Gardisil.
 
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