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(US Naval Institute)   26 U.S. Navy ship naming controversies. If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it   (news.usni.org) divider line 250
    More: Interesting, U.S. Navy, United States Navy ships, United States, U.S. Code, USS Constitution, ship named, socialists  
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15611 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2013 at 4:59 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-23 06:50:50 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: Join the Navy and serve on the USS Cesar Chavez!

The Navy. It's not just a job. It's the two worst years of your life.


Never Again Volunteer Yourself. :)
 
2013-04-23 06:51:24 PM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.


It sucks.
 
2013-04-23 06:52:07 PM  

skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups


You might not be aware of this but there are a lot of Jesus freaks who are rabidly anti-war.
 
2013-04-23 06:52:33 PM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.

It sucks.


It always goes bottoms up.
 
2013-04-23 06:53:01 PM  
USS Eagle Tears

USS Mission Accomplished

USS Barack Obama
 
2013-04-23 06:57:01 PM  
While I was a reservist, I was in a unit that would mobilize to this DDG...
upload.wikimedia.org

Of course, there is the boat that was named after my classmate's dad...
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-23 06:57:07 PM  
USS John Boehner. It's bright orange paint scheme is hidden by a novel salt-water drip camouflage system. Plus, its bow wake is greatly reduced by the mechanical oscillations of its lower prow.
 
2013-04-23 06:58:34 PM  

Great Janitor: maram500: Great Janitor: USS Starbucks - Starts off as just one ship, soon multiples and is found everywhere
USS Trojan - Best at protection
USS Snuggles - Nothing worse than to have to admit that your ship was sunk by the Snuggles.
USS Pepsi - rest of the fleet keeps calling it the USS Coke
USS Xbox 360 - Red Ring of Death isn't a new weapon it uses, it's what sank it.

USS Wii - Every screen onboard looks like crap compared to those on other ships
USS Walmart - Cheapest ship in the fleet; crewed by people desperate for any kind of work
USS Target - Better than USS Walmart, but just barely
USS Ford Motor Co. - Often found adrift, since something is always broken
USS Bugatti Veyron - Ridiculously overpriced, but faster than anything else
USS Electronic Arts - Cannot be operated without an active internet connection
USS AT&T - Wait...it actually works? Wow.

USS Primerica - Each sailor has to pay $100 to join the crew and then has to recruit his friends as well.
USS Disney - Just decommissioned the USS Lucasarts, a perfectly good ship with real potential.
USS Colt - The media keeps referring to it as the USS Glock AK-47.
USS Lexus - Crewed by the USS Toyota


USS Subaru - Fun to pilot in S-curves, but otherwise underpowered
USS Hewlett-Packard - Hasn't done anything in five years but sit in port crewing other ships
USS Kia - Foreign-made, kind of sporty, but everyone looks at it funny
 
2013-04-23 06:58:36 PM  
www.global-air.com

Neither shy nor embarrassed, the British frankly proclaimed their confidence and ambition in the names of their ships. (new window)
 
2013-04-23 07:07:06 PM  
USS Jenna Haze
USS Belladonna
USS John Holmes
USS Nina Hartley
 
2013-04-23 07:07:58 PM  
U.S.S. A

For all my cholos in New Mexico.
 
2013-04-23 07:09:39 PM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.


Spectacular.  Just... spectacular.
 
2013-04-23 07:09:55 PM  
The first USS Scorpion was renamed the USS George Washington. In fact the first five boomers all started off as Skipjack class SSNs that were cut in half and then had the missile compartment put in. The missile compartment was 1.5 foot wider that the pressure hull of the Skipjacks which is how you could tell them apart from other boomers as the change from 33 to 31.5 feet is quite obvious in the shape of the superstructure..
 
2013-04-23 07:13:41 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I was told (a probably apocryphal story) about a USCG ship, Firebush. Supposedly one of the COs was a redheaded female, and the first announcement of "Firebush, arriving" was met with many hearty lulz.


huh, one of the guys i went to A-school with had been on the firebush...
 
2013-04-23 07:16:26 PM  
Come on. Let's just be honest.

USS Hegemony I, USS Hegemony II, USS Hegemony III...
 
2013-04-23 07:17:32 PM  

Mad_Radhu: ds615: This is why the Soviets just numbered things.  It's hard to get all riled up about the KV-132.

That was pragmatic. They saved a lot of money on paint that way, because people were always falling in and out of favor.


Actually the Soviets did name their ships:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_ship_naming_conventions">http:/ /en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_ship_naming_conventions
 
2013-04-23 07:17:39 PM  
USS BENGAZI!!

NEver forget the brave 'Mericans!!!
 
2013-04-23 07:17:57 PM  
I just spent the last half hour reading wikis on Milk, his assassination, the perpetrator, his legal defense, and the history of homosexuality in San Francisco in general.  Fascinating stuff.

The "Twinkie Defense" was not what I initially expected it to be though.
 
2013-04-23 07:18:05 PM  

UNC_Samurai: BizarreMan: Seems to me that  USS Hunley would be a good name for a sub.

You mean naming a ship after a vessel that went on one mission, yet managed to sink and kill its crew twice?


Details, details.  There was a USS Hunley, though:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-23 07:20:53 PM  

Gonz: The USS Obama is going to be an epic shiatstorm.

I really hope there are drone carriers by then, because that would be fitting. Or a SEAL Team deployment platform, perhaps.


or a hospital ship...where doctors on board want to make you feel better, but really can't.  you have to pay a ton of money to even been seen by someone, and it costs the taxpayers billions in overrun.

or a car carrier (too vague?)

or a "liberty" ship for sailors that has a basketball hoop at each end.
 
2013-04-23 07:21:08 PM  

another cultural observer: Using adjectives and adverbs is pretty uncontroversial.

HMS Glorious, HMS Invincible, HMS Fabulous, etc.


"There seems to be something wrong with our bloody adjectives today."

--Admiral David "Mr. Understatement" Beatty
 
2013-04-23 07:24:27 PM  
The US are shiat at naming ships. I like how the British gave names like Dauntless, Warspite, Dreadnought, Revenge, Intrepid, Alligator, Centurion, Conflict, Rattlesnake, Thunderer, and Valiant.

Admittedly the British also named a ship Romney, but at the time they were very, very, drunk.
 
2013-04-23 07:25:01 PM  
USS Wayne LaPierre.

A black helicopter carrier that is so strewn with guns, its crew has to don jack boots and kick  landing areas clear.
 
2013-04-23 07:26:03 PM  

theurge14: USS Imperialist Pig


I prefer USS Wrath of God.
 
2013-04-23 07:27:29 PM  

Anenu: Do we have ships named after comic book superheroes yet? The USS Batman would be an awesome name for a ship in my opinion.


Why not? They did name one after that spaceship on that Star Track show after all
 
2013-04-23 07:29:00 PM  
USS Mahatma Gandhi = psy-ops, passive resistance and home-spun security.
 
2013-04-23 07:30:07 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: Day_Old_Dutchie: Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.

It sucks.

It always goes bottoms up.


It will only cruise on Friday nights. And then only in Dupont.
 
2013-04-23 07:30:36 PM  

duke3522: Anenu: Do we have ships named after comic book superheroes yet? The USS Batman would be an awesome name for a ship in my opinion.

Why not? They did name one after that spaceship on that Star Track show after all


Knowing the navy, they'd want to improve on a cartoon hero name. They'd suggest that they name a ship after Astroboy, but by the time the thing hit the water, it's be called the USS Astroglide.
 
2013-04-23 07:34:04 PM  

The5thElement: Aidan: m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name

As a woman and a programmer, with all due respect to those sailors and officers, they should sit the fark down and show some farking respect. Madam Hopper was a boss.

Not to mention the fact she was also a Navy Admiral.


That may well be, but I'm going to respectfully go out on a limb here and blatantly speculate that you've never heard of a toilet being called "the hopper", before... might have been the problem... perhaps as well?
 
2013-04-23 07:36:12 PM  
When I saw this one I was like "Cool! I didn't know we even had something like that."

news.usni.org

Then I looked it up and discovered we don't :(
 
2013-04-23 07:36:13 PM  

r1niceboy: The US are shiat at naming ships. I like how the British gave names like Dauntless, Warspite, Dreadnought, Revenge, Intrepid, Alligator, Centurion, Conflict, Rattlesnake, Thunderer, and Valiant.

Admittedly the British also named a ship Romney, but at the time they were very, very, drunk.


Coast Guard cutters have pretty good names in the  Reliance Class (including Dauntless and Valiant, among others), and a whole bunch of cool ones in the Marine Protector Class.

/ Cutter Sea Dog, Cutter Sea Fox, Cutter Tiger Shark, and Cutter Manowar are pretty cool names
// Cutter Manatee?  Not so much.
 
2013-04-23 07:40:02 PM  

special20: The5thElement: Aidan: m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name

As a woman and a programmer, with all due respect to those sailors and officers, they should sit the fark down and show some farking respect. Madam Hopper was a boss.

Not to mention the fact she was also a Navy Admiral.

That may well be, but I'm going to respectfully go out on a limb here and blatantly speculate that you've never heard of a toilet being called "the hopper", before... might have been the problem... perhaps as well?


Well that's a random obscure name for a toilet.

/i can haz USS Coont Poont
 
2013-04-23 07:43:10 PM  
I was on the Tripoli. We should bring that back and sent it somewhere Libyia like. It will fark with them. We could also go with the USS Allah. They would dare shoot anything at it.
 
2013-04-23 07:44:58 PM  

Brick-House: If you built it with a hole in the head, would that mean the sailors would be pissing straight into the ocean?


LoL - that's pretty good.
 
2013-04-23 07:45:48 PM  

studs up: I was on the Tripoli. We should bring that back and sent it somewhere Libyia like. It will fark with them. We could also go with the USS Allah. They would dare shoot anything at it.


Jebus Christo.
Make that Libya and wouldn't....
farking spaz typing today
 
2013-04-23 07:48:04 PM  

lifeboat: r1niceboy: The US are shiat at naming ships. I like how the British gave names like Dauntless, Warspite, Dreadnought, Revenge, Intrepid, Alligator, Centurion, Conflict, Rattlesnake, Thunderer, and Valiant.

Admittedly the British also named a ship Romney, but at the time they were very, very, drunk.

Coast Guard cutters have pretty good names in the  Reliance Class (including Dauntless and Valiant, among others), and a whole bunch of cool ones in the Marine Protector Class.

/ Cutter Sea Dog, Cutter Sea Fox, Cutter Tiger Shark, and Cutter Manowar are pretty cool names
// Cutter Manatee?  Not so much.


Think of the headline if it sinks.

Wait, cutters aren't huge

emilylatella.jpg
 
2013-04-23 07:48:55 PM  

fusillade762: When I saw this one I was like "Cool! I didn't know we even had something like that."



Then I looked it up and discovered we don't :(


Coming soon.
 
2013-04-23 07:51:51 PM  
Well of course we shouldn't have an aircraft carrier named after a traitor like Reagan.
 
2013-04-23 07:59:28 PM  

JosephFinn: Well of course we shouldn't have an aircraft carrier named after a traitor like Reagan.


Can you please define what a "traitor" is?
 
2013-04-23 08:04:38 PM  
• ...some critics did not think he merited becoming one of the few living people to be honored...
• ... religious groups protested the selection ...
• The residents of Rhode Island were not pleased ...
• ... claiming that it was a shameless attempt to placate the residents of the area ...
• ... veterans of the mighty carrier were insulted ...
• ... a point that many thought should have precluded them from being honored with a namesake carrier.
• ... the timing of the choice led some to question ...
• ... it angered veterans of the decommissioned USS America.
• ... cynics took issue with a carrier being named for Bush at a time when his son was president ...
• Traditionalist griped that another type of vessel could have been named for Warner ...


i651.photobucket.com

USS Imperial Butthurt has a nice ring to it
 
2013-04-23 08:07:28 PM  

Godscrack: [img199.imageshack.us image 808x582]


LPH-911?
 
2013-04-23 08:11:25 PM  
Cool! The picture of Truman in TFA was taken on the ship that my grandfather served on.
 
2013-04-23 08:13:13 PM  
duke3522 2013-04-23 07:27:29 PM

that Star Track show

No, try again.

Try harder.

With a new lusername.

Simpleton.
 
2013-04-23 08:14:04 PM  

The5thElement: fusillade762: When I saw this one I was like "Cool! I didn't know we even had something like that."

Then I looked it up and discovered we don't :(

Coming soon.


Yeah. And at almost $4 billion a pop, apparently. And only 3 of them.
 
2013-04-23 08:16:47 PM  

m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...



The HAW-PAH!
 
2013-04-23 08:18:53 PM  
U.S.S. Kitwilly
 
2013-04-23 08:20:08 PM  

ha-ha-guy: BolshyGreatYarblocks: "If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it"

[www.nicaraguanbugle.com image 300x217]

+ Bragg, Lee, Hood, A.P. Hill, Gordon.......

At least the Confederate Army was pretty good at what they did, their Navy was craptacular.


I dunno....I read that the value of the ships and cargo sunk by the CSS Alabama was, adjusted for inflation, greater than the losses inflicted by any German U-Boat.
 
2013-04-23 08:22:58 PM  

Jubeebee: gopher321: 26 U.S. Navy ship naming controversies. If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it

U.S.S. Christ on a Cracker?

U.S.S. Heyzoos?

USS Jesus Tapdancing Christ - minesweeper



If you're not going to use "Gay Confederate Jesus" to name a ship, I'm going to have to name my new rock band that.
 
2013-04-23 08:24:05 PM  
Not surprising this fool was on the list twice:

www.biography.com
 
2013-04-23 08:25:23 PM  

ds615: This is why the Soviets just numbered things.  It's hard to get all riled up about the KV-132.


Damn you!

KV-132 was the name of the man who raped and murdered my dog!  *sob*
 
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