If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(US Naval Institute)   26 U.S. Navy ship naming controversies. If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it   (news.usni.org) divider line 250
    More: Interesting, U.S. Navy, United States Navy ships, United States, U.S. Code, USS Constitution, ship named, socialists  
•       •       •

15575 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2013 at 4:59 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



250 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-04-23 05:27:05 PM
USS Drew Curtis

/has a 5 degree list to port built-in
 
2013-04-23 05:27:20 PM

UNC_Samurai: You want to start a flamewar?  Go onto a naval wargaming forum and ask whether the USS Alaska (CB-1) was a cruiser or a battlecruiser - it's some of the neckbeardiest fun you can have.


Clearly a battlecruiser, since they were designed to hunt down and kill hostile cruisers, which is about the same as saying "designed to hunt down and destroy enemy convoys and their escorts".  We just didn't want to use battlecruiser since that was associated with cowardly raids on merchant shipping and most of the battlecruisers we'd faced had come to a bad end.

Although i never really got why the neckbeards get so worked up over battlecruiser/pocket battleship/heavy cruiser differences.  Pre war the Germans built all kinds of stuff with the basic idea of "build something as close to a battleship as possible, but keep it just small enough the Brits can't biatch too much".  The Japanese were doing whatever the hell they wanted and calling it whatever they wanted.  Trying make the Alaska class fit in with any of those ships is futile when the designation of the ships only had a passing acquaintance with reality.

/it would have been interesting to see a Deutschland or Hipper class go 1v1 with an interwar battleship
 
2013-04-23 05:28:39 PM

skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups


It looks bad when if it is sunk (Jesus didn't protect "his" namesake from the evil USSR).  Same reason Hitler renamed the Deutschland.
 
2013-04-23 05:29:10 PM

iheartscotch: Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.

What about the U.S.S Ecce Agnus Dei?


As long as it's a God-Class carrier.  We have hellfire missiles, the Blue Angels (surprised the League of Atheist Lawyers hasn't complained about that one yet)....it's the logical next step.
 
2013-04-23 05:29:27 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: USS Drew Curtis

/has a 5 degree list to port built-in


We're gonna need a bigger boat.

/ for the beer and maker's mark
 
2013-04-23 05:30:17 PM
Sequestration problems? Sell naming rights to ships. Helllooooo USS Duke Sucks.
 
2013-04-23 05:31:06 PM

SN1987a goes boom: How about the USS John McCain?

You know its coming as soon as that shiathead dies.


We already have one, it's named after his father and grandfather (DDG-56)
 
2013-04-23 05:31:25 PM
The USS Obama is going to be an epic shiatstorm.

I really hope there are drone carriers by then, because that would be fitting. Or a SEAL Team deployment platform, perhaps.
 
2013-04-23 05:32:14 PM
I'd like to see the USS Essess myself, or the uss Just seawater, Please Ignore.
 
2013-04-23 05:32:39 PM

Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.


What kind of ship would the Boca Raton be?
 
2013-04-23 05:32:47 PM

Bermuda59: SN1987a goes boom: How about the USS John McCain?

You know its coming as soon as that shiathead dies.

We already have one, it's named after his father and grandfather (DDG-56)


Not to be all neckbeardy pedantic, but that would be the John S. McCain,but I'm guessing that's what SN1987a goes boom was trolling for.
 
2013-04-23 05:33:03 PM

Gonz: The USS Obama is going to be an epic shiatstorm. I really hope there are drone carriers by then, because that would be fitting. Or a SEAL Team deployment platform, perhaps.


You mean ship designed for black ops?
 
2013-04-23 05:33:25 PM

maram500: drjekel_mrhyde: U.S.S Microsoft  Big and bloated
U.S.S Google Super spy ship that follows other ships around collecting data to sell
U.S.S Apple Cost over runs, not as fast as other ships, outdated tech, but looks hella cool
U.S.S Walmart Sold to China within 3 years
Seriously how soon will they start selling naming rights to corps

USS BlackBerry: Horrifyingly outdated; always lags behind every other ship
USS Windows: Eighth ship to bear the name, but everyone says the fifth one was the best
USS Top Gear: Fastest cruiser...in the world. Also, her captain for some reason never takes off his helmet.

Also: USS Google: Genuinely tries to stay better than everyone else and often succeeds


USS ADOBE FLASH - **LOADING***
USS JAVA 7 - 1-5 crashed and sunk, 6 caught fire, crashed and sunk
USS BSD - well built ship but no one can find the door to get in
USS OUTLOOK - LIFEBOAT HANG
 
2013-04-23 05:33:58 PM
The Brits have the best names for their Navy
HMS Ajax
HMS Battleaxe (with Bea Arthur Figurehead)
HMS Vendetta
HMS Vengeance...
 
2013-04-23 05:34:09 PM

This text is now purple: Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.

What kind of ship would the Boca Raton be?


a Saar class
 
2013-04-23 05:34:24 PM

ha-ha-guy: /it would have been interesting to see a Deutschland or Hipper class go 1v1 with an interwar battleship


The Pennsylvanias could throw a broadside salvo of 18,000 lbs out to 36,000 yards.  The Bismarck's salvo was just above 14,000 (though it had a slightly better range).  The Deutschlands could launch a 4,000 lb salvo just under 40,000 yards.  If the Graf Spee or Scheer spent all day dancing at extreme range, it might do enough damage to a Pennsylvania to make it retire, but the first punch a Pennsylvania lands would cripple the German ship.
 
2013-04-23 05:34:29 PM

another cultural observer: iheartscotch: Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.

What about the U.S.S Ecce Agnus Dei?

As long as it's a God-Class carrier.  We have hellfire missiles, the Blue Angels (surprised the League of Atheist Lawyers hasn't complained about that one yet)....it's the logical next step.


Yeahhhhhh.... There are some pretty kooky legal movements out there. For example; one wants to change the name of the White House to the Presidental Mansion; because White House is racist. Never mind that "the White House" isn't actually the official name of the White House.

I imagine that they've tried to get the Blue Angels changed to the Blue Imaginary Winged Creatures; but, that isn't as catchy.
 
2013-04-23 05:35:18 PM
The USS R. L. Emery.

www.magweb.com

IT'S A BETTER SHIP THAN YOU DESERVE NUMB NUTS!
 
2013-04-23 05:35:19 PM
Nobody alive should have a ship, road, bridge, building named after them. Still cant believe they named a highway in Georgia after Cynthia McKinney.
 
2013-04-23 05:35:41 PM
The new stealth ship, USS You Didn't See What I Did There.

And don't forget the hospital ship USNS It's Never Lupus.
 
2013-04-23 05:35:43 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Bermuda59: SN1987a goes boom: How about the USS John McCain?

You know its coming as soon as that shiathead dies.

We already have one, it's named after his father and grandfather (DDG-56)

Not to be all neckbeardy pedantic, but that would be the John S. McCain,but I'm guessing that's what SN1987a goes boom was trolling for.


I was aware of the John S. McCain.  However, it would be foolish to not think he'll get one named for him as well.
 
2013-04-23 05:36:08 PM
Ermey dammit, ERMEY.
 
2013-04-23 05:36:10 PM

m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name


As a woman and a programmer, with all due respect to those sailors and officers, they should sit the fark down and show some farking respect. Madam Hopper was a boss.
 
2013-04-23 05:36:38 PM

This text is now purple: Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.

What kind of ship would the Boca Raton be?


A bottleneck clogging the left-hand channel while doing 6 knots.
 
2013-04-23 05:37:05 PM
USNS Medgar Evers-Critics accused the President Barack Obama's administration of ignoring Navy tradition and blatantly politicizing ship names

Like that has ever happened before...

And how would honoring a 60s civil rights leader be "political" today?
 
2013-04-23 05:38:02 PM

SN1987a goes boom: I was aware of the John S. McCain.  However, it would be foolish to not think he'll get one named for him as well.


I'm not so sure. On the one hand, he was a big supporter of the military-industrial complex. On the other hand, he was a miserable aviator who crashed pretty much everything he got his hands on. I don't think you get to claim your "ace" for scoring own-goals.
 
2013-04-23 05:38:09 PM

zedster: maram500: drjekel_mrhyde: U.S.S Microsoft  Big and bloated
U.S.S Google Super spy ship that follows other ships around collecting data to sell
U.S.S Apple Cost over runs, not as fast as other ships, outdated tech, but looks hella cool
U.S.S Walmart Sold to China within 3 years
Seriously how soon will they start selling naming rights to corps

USS BlackBerry: Horrifyingly outdated; always lags behind every other ship
USS Windows: Eighth ship to bear the name, but everyone says the fifth one was the best
USS Top Gear: Fastest cruiser...in the world. Also, her captain for some reason never takes off his helmet.

Also: USS Google: Genuinely tries to stay better than everyone else and often succeeds

USS ADOBE FLASH - **LOADING***
USS JAVA 7 - 1-5 crashed and sunk, 6 caught fire, crashed and sunk
USS BSD - well built ship but no one can find the door to get in
USS OUTLOOK - LIFEBOAT HANG


USS Oracle - 3 times the size of any other aircraft carrier
USS Cray - travels at 400 knots but only 9 sailors qualify to operate it
USS Intel - mounts 15.9999989029 inch guns
USS Victoria's Secret - nah, that one's too easy
 
2013-04-23 05:38:25 PM
In keeping with his history, they should homeport the USS John P. Murtha in western PA and rename it the USS Pork Barrel.
 
2013-04-23 05:38:50 PM
Good thing they don't just use letters of the alphabet. It would've been real awkward to launch the U.S.S. R during the Cold War.
 
2013-04-23 05:41:15 PM

skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups


They were probably Catholic. Doubt any baptists know Latin.
 
2013-04-23 05:41:34 PM
Seems to me that  USS Hunley would be a good name for a sub.
 
2013-04-23 05:41:50 PM
Well considering they've named things after actor guy, I'm not sure it matters anymore.

USS north? anyone?

OR USS shot people in the face

wait I've got it USS WAR CRIMES

Yup that's the one
 
2013-04-23 05:42:59 PM
USS Ultimate Ship the Second
 
2013-04-23 05:43:10 PM

BizarreMan: Seems to me that  USS Hunley would be a good name for a sub.


You mean naming a ship after a vessel that went on one mission, yet managed to sink and kill its crew twice?
 
2013-04-23 05:44:16 PM
Aw, the Stennis.  I was on that ship for 3 1/2 years.
 
2013-04-23 05:45:12 PM
If they ever run short on names, I wish they'd consider some Mad Magazine/Don Martin type sound effects for names.

USS Plortch
USS Bukkida Bukkida
USS Fffrrraapft
USS Fizzazzit
USS Fleedle
USS Gaplonk
USS Plop Phelop
USS Poit
USS Zwit-Sproing
 
2013-04-23 05:45:22 PM

kbronsito: one of my grandfather's cousins had a navy ship named after him and all he had to do was jump on a granade during the korean war. it was sold to pakistan in the 80s though. I think its probably scrap metal by now.


Why would Pakistan want an old grenade? And I thought it was common knowledge that most grenades become scraps of metal. No real surprise there.

/Cool story though, I had a Grandad on the U.S.S. Pompon in WWII.
//Old guy tells some really crazy tales.
 
2013-04-23 05:45:46 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: U.S.S Microsoft  Big and bloated
U.S.S Google Super spy ship that follows other ships around collecting data to sell
U.S.S Apple Cost over runs, not as fast as other ships, outdated tech, but looks hella cool
U.S.S Walmart Sold to China within 3 years
Seriously how soon will they start selling naming rights to corps


you are on to something my friend. think how much money the u.s. gov. could save if we decked these bad boys out like nascars!
 
2013-04-23 05:46:05 PM

UNC_Samurai: BizarreMan: Seems to me that  USS Hunley would be a good name for a sub.

You mean naming a ship after a vessel that went on one mission, yet managed to sink and kill its crew twice?


If you put it that way.  Maybe not.
 
2013-04-23 05:47:06 PM

Bermuda59: I always found it strange that they would name an ammuntion ship USS Pyro


Ammuniton ships are names for Volcanoes and words denoting fire and explosives.
 
2013-04-23 05:47:07 PM
USS Santorum. Leaves an oily slick and a big frothy wake behind it wherever it goes.
 
2013-04-23 05:48:34 PM
No mention of the U.S.S. Tsarnaev?
 
2013-04-23 05:50:45 PM
USS Barney Frank should be fabuluth.
 
2013-04-23 05:51:14 PM

puddleonfire: USS Barney Frank should be fabuluth.


meh... keeps getting rammed in the stern
 
2013-04-23 05:52:14 PM

bullwrinkle: Bermuda59: I always found it strange that they would name an ammuntion ship USS Pyro

Ammuniton ships are names for Volcanoes and words denoting fire and explosives.


It keeps the crew on its toes.
 
2013-04-23 05:53:56 PM

Devil's Playground: [jeftex.files.wordpress.com image 400x352]


That's so cute! It's like they took everything said about Romney/Ryan and just tacked Obama's name onto it.
 
2013-04-23 05:55:42 PM

SomethingToDo: USS Ultimate Ship the Second


USS FF7 :)
 
2013-04-23 05:56:11 PM
img199.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-23 05:56:37 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Jubeebee: USS Jesus Tapdancing Christ - minesweeper

golf clap

Article was a complete waste of time until: Independence-class littoral combat


That's a cool tough little ship

www.reocities.com

 
2013-04-23 05:56:50 PM
Observers believed that LBJ may have been downgraded because the Navy had suffered a series of indignities during LBJ's presidency, such as the capture of the USS Pueblo and the attack on the USS Liberty.

What about the USS Maddox? That kind of had more of an impact on world events.
 
Displayed 50 of 250 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report