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(US Naval Institute)   26 U.S. Navy ship naming controversies. If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it   (news.usni.org) divider line 250
    More: Interesting, U.S. Navy, United States Navy ships, United States, U.S. Code, USS Constitution, ship named, socialists  
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15593 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2013 at 4:59 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-23 03:37:51 PM
Some people just like to biatch.
 
2013-04-23 03:42:03 PM
26 U.S. Navy ship naming controversies. If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it

U.S.S. Christ on a Cracker?

U.S.S. Heyzoos?
 
2013-04-23 03:43:41 PM

gopher321: 26 U.S. Navy ship naming controversies. If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it

U.S.S. Christ on a Cracker?

U.S.S. Heyzoos?


USS Jesus Tapdancing Christ - minesweeper
 
2013-04-23 04:10:08 PM
The U.S.S. Gardisil.
 
2013-04-23 04:15:34 PM
U.S.S. Gene Masseth
 
2013-04-23 04:16:47 PM
No problem without of them. Cesar Chavez probably wouldn't want his name on a Navy ship. Giffords probably didn't deserve one. Using Confederate names was a poor choice
 
2013-04-23 04:22:43 PM

ArkAngel: No problem without of them. Cesar Chavez probably wouldn't want his name on a Navy ship. Giffords probably didn't deserve one. Using Confederate names was a poor choice


What, no USS CHANCELLORSVILLE?
 
2013-04-23 04:23:42 PM
U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover
 
2013-04-23 04:33:05 PM

FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover


Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.
 
2013-04-23 04:33:54 PM
U.S.S. Reacharound
 
2013-04-23 04:39:54 PM
one of my grandfather's cousins had a navy ship named after him and all he had to do was jump on a granade during the korean war. it was sold to pakistan in the 80s though. I think its probably scrap metal by now.
 
2013-04-23 04:40:01 PM
Ships named for Alaska

You want to start a flamewar?  Go onto a naval wargaming forum and ask whether the USS Alaska (CB-1) was a cruiser or a battlecruiser - it's some of the neckbeardiest fun you can have.

USS Intrepid-The carrier known as the "Fighting I" has a storied history that includes battling in the Pacific and recovering astronauts before becoming a popular museum in New York City. When the Navy announced in 1987 that a small (and some said ugly) ocean-surveillance ship would be the USNS Intrepid, veterans of the mighty carrier were insulted that the name of their beloved ship would be bestowed on a far less fearsome vessel. The name was changed to Tenacious.

That's INCREDIBLY stupid.  Did they change the name of Yorktown (CG-48)?  What about North Carolina (SSN-777)?  Olympia?  Alabama?  Heck, they named CGN-39 AND SSN-775 after Texas, and BB-35's still rusting away in San Jacinto.  And the Little Rock (LCS-9) is about to be commissioned.  Why did Intrepid's veterans get their jimmies rustled, because it wasn't a sub or a cruiser?  Guess what, naming conventions have changed.

Be thankful your ship is one that got put into a museum.  There's a lot of Enterprise (CV-6) vets that were steamed about that for decades.
 
2013-04-23 04:45:36 PM
U.S.S. Murica.
 
2013-04-23 05:04:56 PM
USS Merkin Muffley
 
2013-04-23 05:05:55 PM
How about the USS United States?

Yo dawg, I heard you liked the US. So we put the US in your USS so can freedom while you're freedoming.
 
2013-04-23 05:07:31 PM
This is why the Soviets just numbered things.  It's hard to get all riled up about the KV-132.
 
2013-04-23 05:08:19 PM
No one living should have a ship named after them.

That is just the way it should be.
 
2013-04-23 05:08:50 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.


Lulz
 
2013-04-23 05:09:19 PM
The USS Jesus Christ on a Bike
The USS Miserable Lardass
The USS I Know You Are What Am I
The USS Shiatsnacks
 
2013-04-23 05:09:33 PM
Our naming went downhill when we went with political figures for the carriers instead of tradition names.  It was even worse once we started naming them after people who hadn't even died yet.  Even worse was when we provoke naming tradition on the SSBNs and SSNs.

Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.


J. Edna Hoover.
 
2013-04-23 05:09:42 PM
U.S.S Microsoft  Big and bloated
U.S.S Google Super spy ship that follows other ships around collecting data to sell
U.S.S Apple Cost over runs, not as fast as other ships, outdated tech, but looks hella cool
U.S.S Walmart Sold to China within 3 years
Seriously how soon will they start selling naming rights to corps
 
2013-04-23 05:10:54 PM
USS Turing.
 
2013-04-23 05:11:42 PM

Jubeebee: USS Jesus Tapdancing Christ - minesweeper


golf clap

Article was a complete waste of time until: Independence-class littoral combat


That's a cool little ship
 
2013-04-23 05:13:34 PM
Pretty sure they named a ship after the E7 rank: "CHIEF".

so whenever the old man leaves the ship or comes oonboard, he gets a temporary demotion: "Chief, departing...."
 
2013-04-23 05:14:38 PM
Given all the whining and moaning in the article over naming issues, the most obvious way forward is that we simply choose names that EVERYONE will hate or otherwise dislike equally: name all new ships after My Little Pony characters.

/with matching paint jobs
//then we'd get Congressional sessions arguing the superiority of one pony versus the other alternatives
///you can't tell me it wouldn't be more work than they're getting done now
 
2013-04-23 05:15:58 PM
jeftex.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-23 05:16:54 PM
Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.
 
2013-04-23 05:17:14 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: U.S.S Microsoft  Big and bloated
U.S.S Google Super spy ship that follows other ships around collecting data to sell
U.S.S Apple Cost over runs, not as fast as other ships, outdated tech, but looks hella cool
U.S.S Walmart Sold to China within 3 years
Seriously how soon will they start selling naming rights to corps


Wouldn't we purchase the U.S.S. Wal-mart FROM China?  And it's got lead paint, and was manufactured by massed contingents of  child wage slaves, etc?
 
2013-04-23 05:19:29 PM
USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups
 
2013-04-23 05:19:49 PM
Let's make sure that history never forgets the name ENTERPRISE.

/ pretty controversial stuff
 
2013-04-23 05:19:52 PM
Can't wait for U.S.S Dick Armey
 
2013-04-23 05:20:15 PM
To no one's everlasting glory, there isn't a ship named Rodger Young.


/ yet
 
jvl
2013-04-23 05:20:31 PM
Naming freeways has become so popular in California that it's hard to find an overpass which is not named after someone. Looks like we're going the same way with Navy boats.

At least we will still have a Big E.
 
2013-04-23 05:21:13 PM
I was told (a probably apocryphal story) about a USCG ship, Firebush. Supposedly one of the COs was a redheaded female, and the first announcement of "Firebush, arriving" was met with many hearty lulz.
 
2013-04-23 05:21:14 PM

another cultural observer: Wouldn't we purchase the U.S.S. Wal-mart FROM China?  And it's got lead paint, and was manufactured by massed contingents of  child wage slaves, etc?


Great jumpin' brain-damaged barnacles, lead paint?
 
2013-04-23 05:21:28 PM
USS LIBERTY
 
2013-04-23 05:22:39 PM
There are a lot of pedantic people who sure get pissy over little "naming conventions."

It's like they're all Farkers.
 
2013-04-23 05:22:54 PM
How bout the USS Groppet, Groppet II Groppet III Groppet IV etc


Some of those stories really made me groan. Yeah I think naming a ship the USS Pittsburgh would make me forget I didnt have a job.
 
2013-04-23 05:23:05 PM
Using adjectives and adverbs is pretty uncontroversial.

HMS Glorious, HMS Invincible, HMS Fabulous, etc.
 
2013-04-23 05:23:57 PM

Strolpol: Given all the whining and moaning in the article over naming issues, the most obvious way forward is that we simply choose names that EVERYONE will hate or otherwise dislike equally: name all new ships after My Little Pony characters.

/with matching paint jobs
//then we'd get Congressional sessions arguing the superiority of one pony versus the other alternatives
///you can't tell me it wouldn't be more work than they're getting done now


Come on; who wouldn't want to serve on the super carrier U.S.S Fluttershy?
 
2013-04-23 05:24:01 PM

Snarfangel: another cultural observer: Wouldn't we purchase the U.S.S. Wal-mart FROM China?  And it's got lead paint, and was manufactured by massed contingents of  child wage slaves, etc?

Great jumpin' brain-damaged barnacles, lead paint?


I was just trying to explore a more appropriate....umm....idiom.
 
2013-04-23 05:24:18 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: U.S.S Microsoft  Big and bloated
U.S.S Google Super spy ship that follows other ships around collecting data to sell
U.S.S Apple Cost over runs, not as fast as other ships, outdated tech, but looks hella cool
U.S.S Walmart Sold to China within 3 years
Seriously how soon will they start selling naming rights to corps


USS BlackBerry: Horrifyingly outdated; always lags behind every other ship
USS Windows: Eighth ship to bear the name, but everyone says the fifth one was the best
USS Top Gear: Fastest cruiser...in the world. Also, her captain for some reason never takes off his helmet.

Also: USS Google: Genuinely tries to stay better than everyone else and often succeeds
 
2013-04-23 05:24:35 PM
USS Imperialist Pig
 
2013-04-23 05:24:56 PM

maxx2112: To no one's everlasting glory, there isn't a ship named Rodger Young.


/ yet


Let's get on the bounce.
 
2013-04-23 05:25:05 PM
DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name
 
2013-04-23 05:25:39 PM
Yes, let's name a ship for Fightin' Gabby!

imageshack.us

Defender of our rights! All of them!
 
2013-04-23 05:25:50 PM
USS Liberace ...?
 
2013-04-23 05:25:55 PM
I always found it strange that they would name an ammuntion ship USS Pyro
 
2013-04-23 05:26:01 PM
How about the USS John McCain?

You know its coming as soon as that shiathead dies.
 
2013-04-23 05:26:07 PM

Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.


What about the U.S.S Ecce Agnus Dei?
 
2013-04-23 05:27:05 PM
USS Drew Curtis

/has a 5 degree list to port built-in
 
2013-04-23 05:27:20 PM

UNC_Samurai: You want to start a flamewar?  Go onto a naval wargaming forum and ask whether the USS Alaska (CB-1) was a cruiser or a battlecruiser - it's some of the neckbeardiest fun you can have.


Clearly a battlecruiser, since they were designed to hunt down and kill hostile cruisers, which is about the same as saying "designed to hunt down and destroy enemy convoys and their escorts".  We just didn't want to use battlecruiser since that was associated with cowardly raids on merchant shipping and most of the battlecruisers we'd faced had come to a bad end.

Although i never really got why the neckbeards get so worked up over battlecruiser/pocket battleship/heavy cruiser differences.  Pre war the Germans built all kinds of stuff with the basic idea of "build something as close to a battleship as possible, but keep it just small enough the Brits can't biatch too much".  The Japanese were doing whatever the hell they wanted and calling it whatever they wanted.  Trying make the Alaska class fit in with any of those ships is futile when the designation of the ships only had a passing acquaintance with reality.

/it would have been interesting to see a Deutschland or Hipper class go 1v1 with an interwar battleship
 
2013-04-23 05:28:39 PM

skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups


It looks bad when if it is sunk (Jesus didn't protect "his" namesake from the evil USSR).  Same reason Hitler renamed the Deutschland.
 
2013-04-23 05:29:10 PM

iheartscotch: Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.

What about the U.S.S Ecce Agnus Dei?


As long as it's a God-Class carrier.  We have hellfire missiles, the Blue Angels (surprised the League of Atheist Lawyers hasn't complained about that one yet)....it's the logical next step.
 
2013-04-23 05:29:27 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: USS Drew Curtis

/has a 5 degree list to port built-in


We're gonna need a bigger boat.

/ for the beer and maker's mark
 
2013-04-23 05:30:17 PM
Sequestration problems? Sell naming rights to ships. Helllooooo USS Duke Sucks.
 
2013-04-23 05:31:06 PM

SN1987a goes boom: How about the USS John McCain?

You know its coming as soon as that shiathead dies.


We already have one, it's named after his father and grandfather (DDG-56)
 
2013-04-23 05:31:25 PM
The USS Obama is going to be an epic shiatstorm.

I really hope there are drone carriers by then, because that would be fitting. Or a SEAL Team deployment platform, perhaps.
 
2013-04-23 05:32:14 PM
I'd like to see the USS Essess myself, or the uss Just seawater, Please Ignore.
 
2013-04-23 05:32:39 PM

Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.


What kind of ship would the Boca Raton be?
 
2013-04-23 05:32:47 PM

Bermuda59: SN1987a goes boom: How about the USS John McCain?

You know its coming as soon as that shiathead dies.

We already have one, it's named after his father and grandfather (DDG-56)


Not to be all neckbeardy pedantic, but that would be the John S. McCain,but I'm guessing that's what SN1987a goes boom was trolling for.
 
2013-04-23 05:33:03 PM

Gonz: The USS Obama is going to be an epic shiatstorm. I really hope there are drone carriers by then, because that would be fitting. Or a SEAL Team deployment platform, perhaps.


You mean ship designed for black ops?
 
2013-04-23 05:33:25 PM

maram500: drjekel_mrhyde: U.S.S Microsoft  Big and bloated
U.S.S Google Super spy ship that follows other ships around collecting data to sell
U.S.S Apple Cost over runs, not as fast as other ships, outdated tech, but looks hella cool
U.S.S Walmart Sold to China within 3 years
Seriously how soon will they start selling naming rights to corps

USS BlackBerry: Horrifyingly outdated; always lags behind every other ship
USS Windows: Eighth ship to bear the name, but everyone says the fifth one was the best
USS Top Gear: Fastest cruiser...in the world. Also, her captain for some reason never takes off his helmet.

Also: USS Google: Genuinely tries to stay better than everyone else and often succeeds


USS ADOBE FLASH - **LOADING***
USS JAVA 7 - 1-5 crashed and sunk, 6 caught fire, crashed and sunk
USS BSD - well built ship but no one can find the door to get in
USS OUTLOOK - LIFEBOAT HANG
 
2013-04-23 05:33:58 PM
The Brits have the best names for their Navy
HMS Ajax
HMS Battleaxe (with Bea Arthur Figurehead)
HMS Vendetta
HMS Vengeance...
 
2013-04-23 05:34:09 PM

This text is now purple: Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.

What kind of ship would the Boca Raton be?


a Saar class
 
2013-04-23 05:34:24 PM

ha-ha-guy: /it would have been interesting to see a Deutschland or Hipper class go 1v1 with an interwar battleship


The Pennsylvanias could throw a broadside salvo of 18,000 lbs out to 36,000 yards.  The Bismarck's salvo was just above 14,000 (though it had a slightly better range).  The Deutschlands could launch a 4,000 lb salvo just under 40,000 yards.  If the Graf Spee or Scheer spent all day dancing at extreme range, it might do enough damage to a Pennsylvania to make it retire, but the first punch a Pennsylvania lands would cripple the German ship.
 
2013-04-23 05:34:29 PM

another cultural observer: iheartscotch: Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.

What about the U.S.S Ecce Agnus Dei?

As long as it's a God-Class carrier.  We have hellfire missiles, the Blue Angels (surprised the League of Atheist Lawyers hasn't complained about that one yet)....it's the logical next step.


Yeahhhhhh.... There are some pretty kooky legal movements out there. For example; one wants to change the name of the White House to the Presidental Mansion; because White House is racist. Never mind that "the White House" isn't actually the official name of the White House.

I imagine that they've tried to get the Blue Angels changed to the Blue Imaginary Winged Creatures; but, that isn't as catchy.
 
2013-04-23 05:35:18 PM
The USS R. L. Emery.

www.magweb.com

IT'S A BETTER SHIP THAN YOU DESERVE NUMB NUTS!
 
2013-04-23 05:35:19 PM
Nobody alive should have a ship, road, bridge, building named after them. Still cant believe they named a highway in Georgia after Cynthia McKinney.
 
2013-04-23 05:35:41 PM
The new stealth ship, USS You Didn't See What I Did There.

And don't forget the hospital ship USNS It's Never Lupus.
 
2013-04-23 05:35:43 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Bermuda59: SN1987a goes boom: How about the USS John McCain?

You know its coming as soon as that shiathead dies.

We already have one, it's named after his father and grandfather (DDG-56)

Not to be all neckbeardy pedantic, but that would be the John S. McCain,but I'm guessing that's what SN1987a goes boom was trolling for.


I was aware of the John S. McCain.  However, it would be foolish to not think he'll get one named for him as well.
 
2013-04-23 05:36:08 PM
Ermey dammit, ERMEY.
 
2013-04-23 05:36:10 PM

m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name


As a woman and a programmer, with all due respect to those sailors and officers, they should sit the fark down and show some farking respect. Madam Hopper was a boss.
 
2013-04-23 05:36:38 PM

This text is now purple: Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.

What kind of ship would the Boca Raton be?


A bottleneck clogging the left-hand channel while doing 6 knots.
 
2013-04-23 05:37:05 PM
USNS Medgar Evers-Critics accused the President Barack Obama's administration of ignoring Navy tradition and blatantly politicizing ship names

Like that has ever happened before...

And how would honoring a 60s civil rights leader be "political" today?
 
2013-04-23 05:38:02 PM

SN1987a goes boom: I was aware of the John S. McCain.  However, it would be foolish to not think he'll get one named for him as well.


I'm not so sure. On the one hand, he was a big supporter of the military-industrial complex. On the other hand, he was a miserable aviator who crashed pretty much everything he got his hands on. I don't think you get to claim your "ace" for scoring own-goals.
 
2013-04-23 05:38:09 PM

zedster: maram500: drjekel_mrhyde: U.S.S Microsoft  Big and bloated
U.S.S Google Super spy ship that follows other ships around collecting data to sell
U.S.S Apple Cost over runs, not as fast as other ships, outdated tech, but looks hella cool
U.S.S Walmart Sold to China within 3 years
Seriously how soon will they start selling naming rights to corps

USS BlackBerry: Horrifyingly outdated; always lags behind every other ship
USS Windows: Eighth ship to bear the name, but everyone says the fifth one was the best
USS Top Gear: Fastest cruiser...in the world. Also, her captain for some reason never takes off his helmet.

Also: USS Google: Genuinely tries to stay better than everyone else and often succeeds

USS ADOBE FLASH - **LOADING***
USS JAVA 7 - 1-5 crashed and sunk, 6 caught fire, crashed and sunk
USS BSD - well built ship but no one can find the door to get in
USS OUTLOOK - LIFEBOAT HANG


USS Oracle - 3 times the size of any other aircraft carrier
USS Cray - travels at 400 knots but only 9 sailors qualify to operate it
USS Intel - mounts 15.9999989029 inch guns
USS Victoria's Secret - nah, that one's too easy
 
2013-04-23 05:38:25 PM
In keeping with his history, they should homeport the USS John P. Murtha in western PA and rename it the USS Pork Barrel.
 
2013-04-23 05:38:50 PM
Good thing they don't just use letters of the alphabet. It would've been real awkward to launch the U.S.S. R during the Cold War.
 
2013-04-23 05:41:15 PM

skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups


They were probably Catholic. Doubt any baptists know Latin.
 
2013-04-23 05:41:34 PM
Seems to me that  USS Hunley would be a good name for a sub.
 
2013-04-23 05:41:50 PM
Well considering they've named things after actor guy, I'm not sure it matters anymore.

USS north? anyone?

OR USS shot people in the face

wait I've got it USS WAR CRIMES

Yup that's the one
 
2013-04-23 05:42:59 PM
USS Ultimate Ship the Second
 
2013-04-23 05:43:10 PM

BizarreMan: Seems to me that  USS Hunley would be a good name for a sub.


You mean naming a ship after a vessel that went on one mission, yet managed to sink and kill its crew twice?
 
2013-04-23 05:44:16 PM
Aw, the Stennis.  I was on that ship for 3 1/2 years.
 
2013-04-23 05:45:12 PM
If they ever run short on names, I wish they'd consider some Mad Magazine/Don Martin type sound effects for names.

USS Plortch
USS Bukkida Bukkida
USS Fffrrraapft
USS Fizzazzit
USS Fleedle
USS Gaplonk
USS Plop Phelop
USS Poit
USS Zwit-Sproing
 
2013-04-23 05:45:22 PM

kbronsito: one of my grandfather's cousins had a navy ship named after him and all he had to do was jump on a granade during the korean war. it was sold to pakistan in the 80s though. I think its probably scrap metal by now.


Why would Pakistan want an old grenade? And I thought it was common knowledge that most grenades become scraps of metal. No real surprise there.

/Cool story though, I had a Grandad on the U.S.S. Pompon in WWII.
//Old guy tells some really crazy tales.
 
2013-04-23 05:45:46 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: U.S.S Microsoft  Big and bloated
U.S.S Google Super spy ship that follows other ships around collecting data to sell
U.S.S Apple Cost over runs, not as fast as other ships, outdated tech, but looks hella cool
U.S.S Walmart Sold to China within 3 years
Seriously how soon will they start selling naming rights to corps


you are on to something my friend. think how much money the u.s. gov. could save if we decked these bad boys out like nascars!
 
2013-04-23 05:46:05 PM

UNC_Samurai: BizarreMan: Seems to me that  USS Hunley would be a good name for a sub.

You mean naming a ship after a vessel that went on one mission, yet managed to sink and kill its crew twice?


If you put it that way.  Maybe not.
 
2013-04-23 05:47:06 PM

Bermuda59: I always found it strange that they would name an ammuntion ship USS Pyro


Ammuniton ships are names for Volcanoes and words denoting fire and explosives.
 
2013-04-23 05:47:07 PM
USS Santorum. Leaves an oily slick and a big frothy wake behind it wherever it goes.
 
2013-04-23 05:48:34 PM
No mention of the U.S.S. Tsarnaev?
 
2013-04-23 05:50:45 PM
USS Barney Frank should be fabuluth.
 
2013-04-23 05:51:14 PM

puddleonfire: USS Barney Frank should be fabuluth.


meh... keeps getting rammed in the stern
 
2013-04-23 05:52:14 PM

bullwrinkle: Bermuda59: I always found it strange that they would name an ammuntion ship USS Pyro

Ammuniton ships are names for Volcanoes and words denoting fire and explosives.


It keeps the crew on its toes.
 
2013-04-23 05:53:56 PM

Devil's Playground: [jeftex.files.wordpress.com image 400x352]


That's so cute! It's like they took everything said about Romney/Ryan and just tacked Obama's name onto it.
 
2013-04-23 05:55:42 PM

SomethingToDo: USS Ultimate Ship the Second


USS FF7 :)
 
2013-04-23 05:56:11 PM
img199.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-23 05:56:37 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Jubeebee: USS Jesus Tapdancing Christ - minesweeper

golf clap

Article was a complete waste of time until: Independence-class littoral combat


That's a cool tough little ship

www.reocities.com

 
2013-04-23 05:56:50 PM
Observers believed that LBJ may have been downgraded because the Navy had suffered a series of indignities during LBJ's presidency, such as the capture of the USS Pueblo and the attack on the USS Liberty.

What about the USS Maddox? That kind of had more of an impact on world events.
 
2013-04-23 05:57:18 PM

Darth Vader Ginsburg: The Brits have the best names for their Navy
HMS Ajax
HMS Battleaxe (with Bea Arthur Figurehead)
HMS Vendetta
HMS Vengeance...


We do ship names very well. For example; Audacious, Warspite, Spiteful, Furious, Ambush, Enterprise, Daring, Dauntless and my favourite Agamemnon.
And now we have a Queen
farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-04-23 05:58:11 PM

Aidan: m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name

As a woman and a programmer, with all due respect to those sailors and officers, they should sit the fark down and show some farking respect. Madam Hopper was a boss.


Not to mention the fact she was also a Navy Admiral.
 
2013-04-23 05:58:57 PM
Walter Mondale?
 
2013-04-23 05:59:22 PM

The5thElement: Aidan: m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name

As a woman and a programmer, with all due respect to those sailors and officers, they should sit the fark down and show some farking respect. Madam Hopper was a boss.

Not to mention the fact she was also a Navy Admiral.


Indeed. I just didn't know how to say Rear Admiral as a title. :)
 
2013-04-23 06:00:52 PM
USS Emperor Norton?
 
2013-04-23 06:01:46 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Yes, let's name a ship for Fightin' Gabby!



Defender of our rights! All of them!


If you built it with a hole in the head, would that mean the sailors would be pissing straight into the ocean?
 
2013-04-23 06:04:23 PM

ds615: This is why the Soviets just numbered things.  It's hard to get all riled up about the KV-132.


That was pragmatic. They saved a lot of money on paint that way, because people were always falling in and out of favor.
 
2013-04-23 06:06:22 PM
Around WWII, the corvette class ships were named after flowers.  They were strictly forbidden from naming any of them "pansy."
 
2013-04-23 06:06:27 PM
Vinson was a dick to Spruance but, like Stennis, controlled the cash, so got a carrier named after him.

The USS W should be a decoy rubber dinghy towed behind a garbage scow.
 
2013-04-23 06:07:05 PM

maxx2112: To no one's everlasting glory, there isn't a ship named Rodger Young.


/ yet


Nice.
 
2013-04-23 06:08:37 PM
HMS Thatcher - minesweeper
 
2013-04-23 06:10:46 PM

ha-ha-guy: skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups

It looks bad when if it is sunk (Jesus didn't protect "his" namesake from the evil USSR).  Same reason Hitler renamed the Deutschland.


But can it stay under for three days?
 
2013-04-23 06:11:25 PM

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Vinson was a dick to Spruance but, like Stennis, controlled the cash, so got a carrier named after him.

The USS W should be a decoy rubber dinghy towed behind a garbage scow.


You're thinking of the obummer
 
2013-04-23 06:11:57 PM

SN1987a goes boom: How about the USS John McCain?

You know its coming as soon as that shiathead dies.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_John_S._McCain_%28DDG-56%29  Already named after Daddy
 
2013-04-23 06:14:45 PM
USS Polysyllabic Designation?
 
2013-04-23 06:14:53 PM

cman: No one living should have a ship named after them.

That is just the way it should be.


Exactly. Ships have souls, and the ship can't share its soul with a living person, now can it?
 
2013-04-23 06:14:59 PM
USS Ess Ess ?
 
2013-04-23 06:16:09 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: If they ever run short on names, I wish they'd consider some Mad Magazine/Don Martin type sound effects for names.

USS Plortch
USS Bukkida Bukkida
USS Fffrrraapft
USS Fizzazzit
USS Fleedle
USS Gaplonk
USS Plop Phelop
USS Poit
USS Zwit-Sproing


List fails without the USS Potrzebie and the USS Poiuyt.

Oh, and the USS Squamish.
 
2013-04-23 06:16:59 PM
Just as much a fiction as yours, Devil's Playground.

But plenty more creative.

images.wikia.com
 
2013-04-23 06:18:00 PM
"If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it"

www.nicaraguanbugle.com

+ Bragg, Lee, Hood, A.P. Hill, Gordon.......
 
2013-04-23 06:18:01 PM

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: cman: No one living should have a ship named after them.

That is just the way it should be.

Exactly. Ships have souls, and the ship can't share its soul with a living person, now can it?


Shoes have soles; ships have decks.

Here's a fun fact: a significant number of our words relating to the Navy are borrowings from Dutch. This is because of the Glorious Revolution which brought a Dutchman to the throne of England. He combined the two Navies into one bringing a shiat ton of Dutch into our already crowded tongue.
 
2013-04-23 06:18:53 PM

Brick-House: DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Vinson was a dick to Spruance but, like Stennis, controlled the cash, so got a carrier named after him.

The USS W should be a decoy rubber dinghy towed behind a garbage scow.

You're thinking of the obummer


And you're thinking of Dick(less) Cheney...
 
2013-04-23 06:19:15 PM
We should just go with Iain Banks' ship-naming examples in his Culture novels. So we'd have vessels like

USS Just Read the Instructions
USS So Much for Subtlety
USS Just Another Victim of the Ambient Morality
USS Resistance is Character-Forming
USS You May Not Be the Coolest Person Here


/Way to many to enumerate here
/Full list http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_spacecraft_in_the_Culture_series
 
2013-04-23 06:19:57 PM

RY28: USS Ess Ess ?


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-23 06:22:00 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I was told (a probably apocryphal story) about a USCG ship, Firebush. Supposedly one of the COs was a redheaded female, and the first announcement of "Firebush, arriving" was met with many hearty lulz.


I retired from the CG a few years ago and I heard that story about a hundred times or more throughout my career.  No idea if it's true or not, but I would guess it's BS.

/ and Jimmy Buffet was never in the Coast Guard
// but yes, Popeye was a Coastie (and Navy, and Army)
 
2013-04-23 06:22:39 PM

Gsm136: Walter Mondale?


USS Walter Mondale was a laundry ship
 
2013-04-23 06:22:49 PM
All this bru-ha-ha over crafts both real and ficitonal, and no one's mentoned the USS Flagg yet?!

<www.yojoe.com

Shame. Shame on you ALL.
 
2013-04-23 06:24:08 PM

skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups


Catholic church was very unhappy. The Body of Christ is supposed to save mankind not destroy it with nuclear weapons.
 
2013-04-23 06:25:23 PM

BolshyGreatYarblocks: "If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it"

[www.nicaraguanbugle.com image 300x217]

+ Bragg, Lee, Hood, A.P. Hill, Gordon.......


At least the Confederate Army was pretty good at what they did, their Navy was craptacular.
 
2013-04-23 06:25:46 PM
Do we have ships named after comic book superheroes yet? The USS Batman would be an awesome name for a ship in my opinion.
 
2013-04-23 06:26:44 PM

forresttriax: skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups

Catholic church was very unhappy. The Body of Christ is supposed to save mankind not destroy it with nuclear weapons.


And if it was the "Our Lady the Queen of Angels" class submarine I'm certain they would be equally pissed about that.
 
2013-04-23 06:27:27 PM

ha-ha-guy: UNC_Samurai: You want to start a flamewar?  Go onto a naval wargaming forum and ask whether the USS Alaska (CB-1) was a cruiser or a battlecruiser - it's some of the neckbeardiest fun you can have.

Clearly a battlecruiser, since they were designed to hunt down and kill hostile cruisers, which is about the same as saying "designed to hunt down and destroy enemy convoys and their escorts".  We just didn't want to use battlecruiser since that was associated with cowardly raids on merchant shipping and most of the battlecruisers we'd faced had come to a bad end.

Although i never really got why the neckbeards get so worked up over battlecruiser/pocket battleship/heavy cruiser differences.  Pre war the Germans built all kinds of stuff with the basic idea of "build something as close to a battleship as possible, but keep it just small enough the Brits can't biatch too much".  The Japanese were doing whatever the hell they wanted and calling it whatever they wanted.  Trying make the Alaska class fit in with any of those ships is futile when the designation of the ships only had a passing acquaintance with reality.

/it would have been interesting to see a Deutschland or Hipper class go 1v1 with an interwar battleship


Well a Pocket battleship was relatively balanced in its armour and guns but bigger than a standard heavy cruiser, its like an extra heavy heavy cruiser.

A battle cruiser had battleship sized guns but not battleship amounts of armour, sort of a glass cannon.

They both kinda served the same purpose (beat the shiat out of enemy cruisers but have to run away from a battleship) pockets where much cheaper than a battle cruiser, but a battle cruiser could better augment your battleship force in a battle againt other battleships.
 
2013-04-23 06:27:46 PM

cman: Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: cman: No one living should have a ship named after them.

That is just the way it should be.

Exactly. Ships have souls, and the ship can't share its soul with a living person, now can it?

Shoes have soles; ships have decks.

Here's a fun fact: a significant number of our words relating to the Navy are borrowings from Dutch. This is because of the Glorious Revolution which brought a Dutchman to the throne of England. He combined the two Navies into one bringing a shiat ton of Dutch into our already crowded tongue.


Peter the Great points and laughs.

/seriously
//fordevind, gintdevind are Russian words for points of sail
 
2013-04-23 06:28:22 PM

Anenu: Do we have ships named after comic book superheroes yet? The USS Batman would be an awesome name for a ship in my opinion.


Actually, they already have a USS Batman, it just has a small typo.
 
2013-04-23 06:28:25 PM

ds615: This is why the Soviets just numbered things.  It's hard to get all riled up about the KV-132.


Nyet, should be Sovetsky Soyuz, SS-132.

/riledski
 
2013-04-23 06:28:46 PM

forresttriax: skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups

Catholic church was very unhappy. The Body of Christ is supposed to save mankind not destroy it with nuclear weapons.


The USS City of Corpus Cristi had one major flaw, it had a very hard time submerging
 
2013-04-23 06:32:08 PM
USS Starbucks - Starts off as just one ship, soon multiples and is found everywhere
USS Trojan - Best at protection
USS Snuggles - Nothing worse than to have to admit that your ship was sunk by the Snuggles.
USS Pepsi - rest of the fleet keeps calling it the USS Coke
USS Xbox 360 - Red Ring of Death isn't a new weapon it uses, it's what sank it.
 
2013-04-23 06:32:18 PM
As an aside, for Russian ship names you can find a few here  http://www.rjlee.org/shipind.html

The Soviets didn't just number things.
 
2013-04-23 06:39:11 PM

Great Janitor: USS Starbucks - Starts off as just one ship, soon multiples and is found everywhere
USS Trojan - Best at protection
USS Snuggles - Nothing worse than to have to admit that your ship was sunk by the Snuggles.
USS Pepsi - rest of the fleet keeps calling it the USS Coke
USS Xbox 360 - Red Ring of Death isn't a new weapon it uses, it's what sank it.


USS Wii - Every screen onboard looks like crap compared to those on other ships
USS Walmart - Cheapest ship in the fleet; crewed by people desperate for any kind of work
USS Target - Better than USS Walmart, but just barely
USS Ford Motor Co. - Often found adrift, since something is always broken
USS Bugatti Veyron - Ridiculously overpriced, but faster than anything else
USS Electronic Arts - Cannot be operated without an active internet connection
USS AT&T - Wait...it actually works? Wow.
 
2013-04-23 06:40:28 PM

ha-ha-guy: UNC_Samurai: You want to start a flamewar?  Go onto a naval wargaming forum and ask whether the USS Alaska (CB-1) was a cruiser or a battlecruiser - it's some of the neckbeardiest fun you can have.

Clearly a battlecruiser, since they were designed to hunt down and kill hostile cruisers, which is about the same as saying "designed to hunt down and destroy enemy convoys and their escorts".  We just didn't want to use battlecruiser since that was associated with cowardly raids on merchant shipping and most of the battlecruisers we'd faced had come to a bad end.

Although i never really got why the neckbeards get so worked up over battlecruiser/pocket battleship/heavy cruiser differences.  Pre war the Germans built all kinds of stuff with the basic idea of "build something as close to a battleship as possible, but keep it just small enough the Brits can't biatch too much".  The Japanese were doing whatever the hell they wanted and calling it whatever they wanted.  Trying make the Alaska class fit in with any of those ships is futile when the designation of the ships only had a passing acquaintance with reality.

/it would have been interesting to see a Deutschland or Hipper class go 1v1 with an interwar battleship

the two coolist classifications, "ship of the line" best "dreadnought"!
 
2013-04-23 06:41:37 PM
We once sent a lot of deployment with the USS Samuel B. Roberts, a guided missle frigate, During our transit across the Atlantic Ocean  we had many long and boring bridge watches, and  we began to refer to it as the "Dread Frigate Roberts" which stuck for the rest of the deployment.
 
2013-04-23 06:42:22 PM
The USS Faaaaabulous!
 
2013-04-23 06:46:38 PM

Aidan: m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name

As a woman and a programmer, with all due respect to those sailors and officers, they should sit the fark down and show some farking respect. Madam Hopper was a boss.


yeah i doubt a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name....i can see some joking about the name but she was the most capable (non CVN) ship in the world when she was built...they are certainly proud to serve on her.
 
2013-04-23 06:47:11 PM
Join the Navy and serve on the USS Cesar Chavez!

The Navy. It's not just a job. It's the two worst years of your life.
 
2013-04-23 06:48:22 PM

ds615: This is why the Soviets just numbered things.  It's hard to get all riled up about the KV-132.


Ironic. They probably owe the revolution to a named ship.
 
2013-04-23 06:48:41 PM
The USS Gabrielle Giffords.

We put the littoral in....oh, never mind...
 
2013-04-23 06:49:10 PM
Ahh, the good old days when political influence could be bartered for with naming rights instead of the current practice of paying cold, hard cash. The Citizens United ruling really stole the thunder from the Armed Forces and the USPS.
 
2013-04-23 06:49:49 PM

praxcelis: We should just go with Iain Banks' ship-naming examples in his Culture novels. So we'd have vessels like

USS Just Read the Instructions
USS So Much for Subtlety
USS Just Another Victim of the Ambient Morality
USS Resistance is Character-Forming
USS You May Not Be the Coolest Person Here

/Way to many to enumerate here
/Full list http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_spacecraft_in_the_Culture_series


My god. It's full of awesome. It reads like a shorthand version of Skippy's List.
 
2013-04-23 06:50:34 PM

Snarfangel: Come on, the USS Prince of Peace is an awesome name for an aircraft carrier.


I must say, yes it is. A bit more classy and subtle than the USS Might Makes Right.
 
2013-04-23 06:50:40 PM

maram500: Great Janitor: USS Starbucks - Starts off as just one ship, soon multiples and is found everywhere
USS Trojan - Best at protection
USS Snuggles - Nothing worse than to have to admit that your ship was sunk by the Snuggles.
USS Pepsi - rest of the fleet keeps calling it the USS Coke
USS Xbox 360 - Red Ring of Death isn't a new weapon it uses, it's what sank it.

USS Wii - Every screen onboard looks like crap compared to those on other ships
USS Walmart - Cheapest ship in the fleet; crewed by people desperate for any kind of work
USS Target - Better than USS Walmart, but just barely
USS Ford Motor Co. - Often found adrift, since something is always broken
USS Bugatti Veyron - Ridiculously overpriced, but faster than anything else
USS Electronic Arts - Cannot be operated without an active internet connection
USS AT&T - Wait...it actually works? Wow.


USS Primerica - Each sailor has to pay $100 to join the crew and then has to recruit his friends as well.
USS Disney - Just decommissioned the USS Lucasarts, a perfectly good ship with real potential.
USS Colt - The media keeps referring to it as the USS Glock.
USS Lexus - Crewed by the USS Toyota
 
2013-04-23 06:50:50 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Join the Navy and serve on the USS Cesar Chavez!

The Navy. It's not just a job. It's the two worst years of your life.


Never Again Volunteer Yourself. :)
 
2013-04-23 06:51:24 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.


It sucks.
 
2013-04-23 06:52:07 PM

skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups


You might not be aware of this but there are a lot of Jesus freaks who are rabidly anti-war.
 
2013-04-23 06:52:33 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.

It sucks.


It always goes bottoms up.
 
2013-04-23 06:53:01 PM
USS Eagle Tears

USS Mission Accomplished

USS Barack Obama
 
2013-04-23 06:57:01 PM
While I was a reservist, I was in a unit that would mobilize to this DDG...
upload.wikimedia.org

Of course, there is the boat that was named after my classmate's dad...
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-23 06:57:07 PM
USS John Boehner. It's bright orange paint scheme is hidden by a novel salt-water drip camouflage system. Plus, its bow wake is greatly reduced by the mechanical oscillations of its lower prow.
 
2013-04-23 06:58:34 PM

Great Janitor: maram500: Great Janitor: USS Starbucks - Starts off as just one ship, soon multiples and is found everywhere
USS Trojan - Best at protection
USS Snuggles - Nothing worse than to have to admit that your ship was sunk by the Snuggles.
USS Pepsi - rest of the fleet keeps calling it the USS Coke
USS Xbox 360 - Red Ring of Death isn't a new weapon it uses, it's what sank it.

USS Wii - Every screen onboard looks like crap compared to those on other ships
USS Walmart - Cheapest ship in the fleet; crewed by people desperate for any kind of work
USS Target - Better than USS Walmart, but just barely
USS Ford Motor Co. - Often found adrift, since something is always broken
USS Bugatti Veyron - Ridiculously overpriced, but faster than anything else
USS Electronic Arts - Cannot be operated without an active internet connection
USS AT&T - Wait...it actually works? Wow.

USS Primerica - Each sailor has to pay $100 to join the crew and then has to recruit his friends as well.
USS Disney - Just decommissioned the USS Lucasarts, a perfectly good ship with real potential.
USS Colt - The media keeps referring to it as the USS Glock AK-47.
USS Lexus - Crewed by the USS Toyota


USS Subaru - Fun to pilot in S-curves, but otherwise underpowered
USS Hewlett-Packard - Hasn't done anything in five years but sit in port crewing other ships
USS Kia - Foreign-made, kind of sporty, but everyone looks at it funny
 
2013-04-23 06:58:36 PM
www.global-air.com

Neither shy nor embarrassed, the British frankly proclaimed their confidence and ambition in the names of their ships. (new window)
 
2013-04-23 07:07:06 PM
USS Jenna Haze
USS Belladonna
USS John Holmes
USS Nina Hartley
 
2013-04-23 07:07:58 PM
U.S.S. A

For all my cholos in New Mexico.
 
2013-04-23 07:09:39 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.


Spectacular.  Just... spectacular.
 
2013-04-23 07:09:55 PM
The first USS Scorpion was renamed the USS George Washington. In fact the first five boomers all started off as Skipjack class SSNs that were cut in half and then had the missile compartment put in. The missile compartment was 1.5 foot wider that the pressure hull of the Skipjacks which is how you could tell them apart from other boomers as the change from 33 to 31.5 feet is quite obvious in the shape of the superstructure..
 
2013-04-23 07:13:41 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I was told (a probably apocryphal story) about a USCG ship, Firebush. Supposedly one of the COs was a redheaded female, and the first announcement of "Firebush, arriving" was met with many hearty lulz.


huh, one of the guys i went to A-school with had been on the firebush...
 
2013-04-23 07:16:26 PM
Come on. Let's just be honest.

USS Hegemony I, USS Hegemony II, USS Hegemony III...
 
2013-04-23 07:17:32 PM

Mad_Radhu: ds615: This is why the Soviets just numbered things.  It's hard to get all riled up about the KV-132.

That was pragmatic. They saved a lot of money on paint that way, because people were always falling in and out of favor.


Actually the Soviets did name their ships:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_ship_naming_conventions">http:/ /en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_ship_naming_conventions
 
2013-04-23 07:17:39 PM
USS BENGAZI!!

NEver forget the brave 'Mericans!!!
 
2013-04-23 07:17:57 PM
I just spent the last half hour reading wikis on Milk, his assassination, the perpetrator, his legal defense, and the history of homosexuality in San Francisco in general.  Fascinating stuff.

The "Twinkie Defense" was not what I initially expected it to be though.
 
2013-04-23 07:18:05 PM

UNC_Samurai: BizarreMan: Seems to me that  USS Hunley would be a good name for a sub.

You mean naming a ship after a vessel that went on one mission, yet managed to sink and kill its crew twice?


Details, details.  There was a USS Hunley, though:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-23 07:20:53 PM

Gonz: The USS Obama is going to be an epic shiatstorm.

I really hope there are drone carriers by then, because that would be fitting. Or a SEAL Team deployment platform, perhaps.


or a hospital ship...where doctors on board want to make you feel better, but really can't.  you have to pay a ton of money to even been seen by someone, and it costs the taxpayers billions in overrun.

or a car carrier (too vague?)

or a "liberty" ship for sailors that has a basketball hoop at each end.
 
2013-04-23 07:21:08 PM

another cultural observer: Using adjectives and adverbs is pretty uncontroversial.

HMS Glorious, HMS Invincible, HMS Fabulous, etc.


"There seems to be something wrong with our bloody adjectives today."

--Admiral David "Mr. Understatement" Beatty
 
2013-04-23 07:24:27 PM
The US are shiat at naming ships. I like how the British gave names like Dauntless, Warspite, Dreadnought, Revenge, Intrepid, Alligator, Centurion, Conflict, Rattlesnake, Thunderer, and Valiant.

Admittedly the British also named a ship Romney, but at the time they were very, very, drunk.
 
2013-04-23 07:25:01 PM
USS Wayne LaPierre.

A black helicopter carrier that is so strewn with guns, its crew has to don jack boots and kick  landing areas clear.
 
2013-04-23 07:26:03 PM

theurge14: USS Imperialist Pig


I prefer USS Wrath of God.
 
2013-04-23 07:27:29 PM

Anenu: Do we have ships named after comic book superheroes yet? The USS Batman would be an awesome name for a ship in my opinion.


Why not? They did name one after that spaceship on that Star Track show after all
 
2013-04-23 07:29:00 PM
USS Mahatma Gandhi = psy-ops, passive resistance and home-spun security.
 
2013-04-23 07:30:07 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Day_Old_Dutchie: Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.

It sucks.

It always goes bottoms up.


It will only cruise on Friday nights. And then only in Dupont.
 
2013-04-23 07:30:36 PM

duke3522: Anenu: Do we have ships named after comic book superheroes yet? The USS Batman would be an awesome name for a ship in my opinion.

Why not? They did name one after that spaceship on that Star Track show after all


Knowing the navy, they'd want to improve on a cartoon hero name. They'd suggest that they name a ship after Astroboy, but by the time the thing hit the water, it's be called the USS Astroglide.
 
2013-04-23 07:34:04 PM

The5thElement: Aidan: m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name

As a woman and a programmer, with all due respect to those sailors and officers, they should sit the fark down and show some farking respect. Madam Hopper was a boss.

Not to mention the fact she was also a Navy Admiral.


That may well be, but I'm going to respectfully go out on a limb here and blatantly speculate that you've never heard of a toilet being called "the hopper", before... might have been the problem... perhaps as well?
 
2013-04-23 07:36:12 PM
When I saw this one I was like "Cool! I didn't know we even had something like that."

news.usni.org

Then I looked it up and discovered we don't :(
 
2013-04-23 07:36:13 PM

r1niceboy: The US are shiat at naming ships. I like how the British gave names like Dauntless, Warspite, Dreadnought, Revenge, Intrepid, Alligator, Centurion, Conflict, Rattlesnake, Thunderer, and Valiant.

Admittedly the British also named a ship Romney, but at the time they were very, very, drunk.


Coast Guard cutters have pretty good names in the  Reliance Class (including Dauntless and Valiant, among others), and a whole bunch of cool ones in the Marine Protector Class.

/ Cutter Sea Dog, Cutter Sea Fox, Cutter Tiger Shark, and Cutter Manowar are pretty cool names
// Cutter Manatee?  Not so much.
 
2013-04-23 07:40:02 PM

special20: The5thElement: Aidan: m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...

/They named it after a woman
//Wasn't a problem for me, but a lot of sailors and officers had a problem with the name

As a woman and a programmer, with all due respect to those sailors and officers, they should sit the fark down and show some farking respect. Madam Hopper was a boss.

Not to mention the fact she was also a Navy Admiral.

That may well be, but I'm going to respectfully go out on a limb here and blatantly speculate that you've never heard of a toilet being called "the hopper", before... might have been the problem... perhaps as well?


Well that's a random obscure name for a toilet.

/i can haz USS Coont Poont
 
2013-04-23 07:43:10 PM
I was on the Tripoli. We should bring that back and sent it somewhere Libyia like. It will fark with them. We could also go with the USS Allah. They would dare shoot anything at it.
 
2013-04-23 07:44:58 PM

Brick-House: If you built it with a hole in the head, would that mean the sailors would be pissing straight into the ocean?


LoL - that's pretty good.
 
2013-04-23 07:45:48 PM

studs up: I was on the Tripoli. We should bring that back and sent it somewhere Libyia like. It will fark with them. We could also go with the USS Allah. They would dare shoot anything at it.


Jebus Christo.
Make that Libya and wouldn't....
farking spaz typing today
 
2013-04-23 07:48:04 PM

lifeboat: r1niceboy: The US are shiat at naming ships. I like how the British gave names like Dauntless, Warspite, Dreadnought, Revenge, Intrepid, Alligator, Centurion, Conflict, Rattlesnake, Thunderer, and Valiant.

Admittedly the British also named a ship Romney, but at the time they were very, very, drunk.

Coast Guard cutters have pretty good names in the  Reliance Class (including Dauntless and Valiant, among others), and a whole bunch of cool ones in the Marine Protector Class.

/ Cutter Sea Dog, Cutter Sea Fox, Cutter Tiger Shark, and Cutter Manowar are pretty cool names
// Cutter Manatee?  Not so much.


Think of the headline if it sinks.

Wait, cutters aren't huge

emilylatella.jpg
 
2013-04-23 07:48:55 PM

fusillade762: When I saw this one I was like "Cool! I didn't know we even had something like that."



Then I looked it up and discovered we don't :(


Coming soon.
 
2013-04-23 07:51:51 PM
Well of course we shouldn't have an aircraft carrier named after a traitor like Reagan.
 
2013-04-23 07:59:28 PM

JosephFinn: Well of course we shouldn't have an aircraft carrier named after a traitor like Reagan.


Can you please define what a "traitor" is?
 
2013-04-23 08:04:38 PM
• ...some critics did not think he merited becoming one of the few living people to be honored...
• ... religious groups protested the selection ...
• The residents of Rhode Island were not pleased ...
• ... claiming that it was a shameless attempt to placate the residents of the area ...
• ... veterans of the mighty carrier were insulted ...
• ... a point that many thought should have precluded them from being honored with a namesake carrier.
• ... the timing of the choice led some to question ...
• ... it angered veterans of the decommissioned USS America.
• ... cynics took issue with a carrier being named for Bush at a time when his son was president ...
• Traditionalist griped that another type of vessel could have been named for Warner ...


i651.photobucket.com

USS Imperial Butthurt has a nice ring to it
 
2013-04-23 08:07:28 PM

Godscrack: [img199.imageshack.us image 808x582]


LPH-911?
 
2013-04-23 08:11:25 PM
Cool! The picture of Truman in TFA was taken on the ship that my grandfather served on.
 
2013-04-23 08:13:13 PM
duke3522 2013-04-23 07:27:29 PM

that Star Track show

No, try again.

Try harder.

With a new lusername.

Simpleton.
 
2013-04-23 08:14:04 PM

The5thElement: fusillade762: When I saw this one I was like "Cool! I didn't know we even had something like that."

Then I looked it up and discovered we don't :(

Coming soon.


Yeah. And at almost $4 billion a pop, apparently. And only 3 of them.
 
2013-04-23 08:16:47 PM

m053486: DDG-70 Hopper would like a word...



The HAW-PAH!
 
2013-04-23 08:18:53 PM
U.S.S. Kitwilly
 
2013-04-23 08:20:08 PM

ha-ha-guy: BolshyGreatYarblocks: "If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it"

[www.nicaraguanbugle.com image 300x217]

+ Bragg, Lee, Hood, A.P. Hill, Gordon.......

At least the Confederate Army was pretty good at what they did, their Navy was craptacular.


I dunno....I read that the value of the ships and cargo sunk by the CSS Alabama was, adjusted for inflation, greater than the losses inflicted by any German U-Boat.
 
2013-04-23 08:22:58 PM

Jubeebee: gopher321: 26 U.S. Navy ship naming controversies. If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it

U.S.S. Christ on a Cracker?

U.S.S. Heyzoos?

USS Jesus Tapdancing Christ - minesweeper



If you're not going to use "Gay Confederate Jesus" to name a ship, I'm going to have to name my new rock band that.
 
2013-04-23 08:24:05 PM
Not surprising this fool was on the list twice:

www.biography.com
 
2013-04-23 08:25:23 PM

ds615: This is why the Soviets just numbered things.  It's hard to get all riled up about the KV-132.


Damn you!

KV-132 was the name of the man who raped and murdered my dog!  *sob*
 
2013-04-23 08:25:44 PM
I could see naming some ships after astronauts, Neil Armstrong was Navy, as were others.

USS Armstrong has a nice ring to it.

don't think they'd ever consider my favorite: USS Death From The Skies :D
 
2013-04-23 08:26:57 PM

maddogdelta: While I was a reservist, I was in a unit that would mobilize to this DDG...
[upload.wikimedia.org image 300x198]

Of course, there is the boat that was named after my classmate's dad...
[upload.wikimedia.org image 300x191]


I cant see the hull number on the first ship but I can tell it is an Adams class desroyer . I was on the USS John King DDG-3  ( not named after the talk show host  BTW )
 
2013-04-23 08:27:13 PM

iheartscotch: Let's make sure that history never forgets the name ENTERPRISE.

/ pretty controversial stuff


I'm proud of the fact that the Enterprise is a nuclear wessel.
 
2013-04-23 08:33:45 PM
If all else fails, we can just go to the list of Space Mutiny names, and when we run out of those, every MST3K reference is up for grabs.

/USS Rowsdower will be the greatest war machine the planet has ever seen
 
2013-04-23 08:34:08 PM

another cultural observer: Using adjectives and adverbs is pretty uncontroversial.

HMS Glorious, HMS Invincible, HMS Fabulous, etc.


C'mon, now, you KNOW that somebody would object that "fabulous" is a code word or euphemism for "homosexual."  The same people who don't want a ship named "Harvey Milk" won't want a ship named "Fabulous."
 
2013-04-23 08:44:45 PM

RY28: cant see the hull number on the first ship but I can tell it is an Adams class desroyer . I was on the USS John King DDG-3


The Semmes.... named after a Confederate...
 
2013-04-23 08:45:49 PM
Who are you supposed to be?  Topper Bottoms, stern, yet sensual, Captain of the U.S.S. Rough Service?
 
2013-04-23 08:47:58 PM

ciberido: ds615: This is why the Soviets just numbered things.  It's hard to get all riled up about the KV-132.

Damn you!

KV-132 was the name of the man who raped and murdered my dog!  *sob*


...and not in that order!
 
2013-04-23 08:49:24 PM
Every time I get aboard the USNS Cesar Chavez, I ask where the produce department is...
 
2013-04-23 08:53:56 PM

Great Janitor: USS Starbucks - Starts off as just one ship, soon multiples and is found everywhere


At least "Starbuck" was originally a sailor.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moby-Dick#Starbuck
 
2013-04-23 08:56:29 PM
farm3.staticflickr.com

/ slippin, you are
 
2013-04-23 08:58:08 PM

impaler: USNS Medgar Evers-Critics accused the President Barack Obama's administration of ignoring Navy tradition and blatantly politicizing ship names

Like that has ever happened before...

And how would honoring a 60s civil rights leader be "political" today?


Because there are people who don't like the civil rights we fought for back in the 1960s?  And who make a political career about taking the USA back to the 1950s?
 
2013-04-23 09:09:39 PM
Thought he was navy beforehand?
 
2013-04-23 09:10:28 PM
U.S.S. Brawndo, brought to you by Carl's Jr.
 
2013-04-23 09:15:49 PM
USS Penis
 
2013-04-23 09:17:29 PM

bullwrinkle: Bermuda59: I always found it strange that they would name an ammuntion ship USS Pyro

Ammuniton ships are names for Volcanoes and words denoting fire and explosives.


USS Mount Hood AE29.
The first one done blowed up.
 
2013-04-23 09:22:37 PM
USS Zombo.com - You can do anything with it
 
2013-04-23 09:25:42 PM

Kittypie070: Just as much a fiction as yours, Devil's Playground.

But plenty more creative.

[images.wikia.com image 512x512]


True, but I think an aircraft carrier ought to be named the USS Sinister Icy Black Hand of Death.
 
2013-04-23 09:26:09 PM

bullwrinkle: Bermuda59: I always found it strange that they would name an ammuntion ship USS Pyro

Ammuniton ships are names for Volcanoes and words denoting fire and explosives.


USS Fire Marshall Bill?

scienceblogs.com
 
2013-04-23 09:29:31 PM

Jimmysolson: bullwrinkle: Bermuda59: I always found it strange that they would name an ammuntion ship USS Pyro

Ammuniton ships are names for Volcanoes and words denoting fire and explosives.

USS Mount Hood AE29.
The first one done blowed up.


HMS Hood pretty much of went that direction in spectacular fashion.
 
2013-04-23 09:34:02 PM

Glendale: Jimmysolson: bullwrinkle: Bermuda59: I always found it strange that they would name an ammuntion ship USS Pyro

Ammuniton ships are names for Volcanoes and words denoting fire and explosives.

USS Mount Hood AE29.
The first one done blowed up.

HMS Hood pretty much of went that direction in spectacular fashion.


As long as you mention HMS Hood...  Since they do name ships after cities, how about USS Bismarck? (as in North Dakota, of course)
 
2013-04-23 09:38:04 PM
USS Helen Keller, minesweeper

/one ticket please
 
2013-04-23 09:39:09 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: FlashHarry: U.S.S. J. Edgar Hoover

Bad name for a ship.

Too much drag.


Nice.  Thanks for the laugh.
 
2013-04-23 09:41:33 PM

BolshyGreatYarblocks: "If you are going to name ships after gays, Confederates, Jesus or socialists, someone is going to have a problem with it"

[www.nicaraguanbugle.com image 300x217]

+ Bragg, Lee, Hood, A.P. Hill, Gordon.......


The Army is still occupying the South just like Japan, Germany, and Italy.
 
2013-04-23 09:44:58 PM
Still hoping for the USS Wilhelm Klink
 
2013-04-23 09:51:06 PM

Great Janitor: USS Starbucks -


IT'S GOING THE WRONG WAY!!!
 
2013-04-23 09:51:10 PM
USS Honk If You're Jesus
 
2013-04-23 09:53:47 PM
If they ever build those ships with two hulls, the first one better be the Larry Craig

Any ship named after Dick Cheney better not be around other US ships, since it'll just shoot them

Any ship named after W would be worthless, it would just keep attacking countries that have nothing to do with the conflict it's in
 
2013-04-23 09:59:02 PM
Glad the boat I was on was named after a rather tasty and fierce sports fish.
USS Bluefish
/one fish, two fish, red fish, Bluefish
 
2013-04-23 09:59:23 PM
I'm a little surprised that the Navy would have a problem with anything gay.
 
2013-04-23 10:01:04 PM

Strolpol: If all else fails, we can just go to the list of Space Mutiny names, and when we run out of those, every MST3K reference is up for grabs.

/USS Rowsdower will be the greatest war machine the planet has ever seen


My vote is for Culture ship names.

USS Gunboat Diplomat.
 
2013-04-23 10:01:37 PM
I demand to see a USS FAAAAABULOUS!!! in the future.
 
2013-04-23 10:04:52 PM
USS Dog's Bollocks
 
2013-04-23 10:09:25 PM

meanmutton: skullkrusher: USS Corpus Christi-Los Angeles-class attack submarines are named after U.S. cities, but religious groups protested the selection of Corpus Christi because it meant that an instrument of war would bear the Latin phrase "body of Christ." The Navy rectified the problem by modifying the sub's name to City of Corpus Christi.

Was not expecting the complaints about a ship named after Jesus to be FROM religious groups

You might not be aware of this but there are a lot of Jesus freaks who are rabidly anti-war.


No, their reasoning makes perfect sense. Just not what I expected.
 
2013-04-23 10:11:42 PM

maddogdelta: While I was a reservist, I was in a unit that would mobilize to this DDG...
[upload.wikimedia.org image 300x198]

Of course, there is the boat that was named after my classmate's dad...
[upload.wikimedia.org image 300x191]


i was on DDG 10
 
2013-04-23 10:26:50 PM

jshine: Glendale: Jimmysolson: bullwrinkle: Bermuda59: I always found it strange that they would name an ammuntion ship USS Pyro

Ammuniton ships are names for Volcanoes and words denoting fire and explosives.

USS Mount Hood AE29.
The first one done blowed up.

HMS Hood pretty much of went that direction in spectacular fashion.

As long as you mention HMS Hood...  Since they do name ships after cities, how about USS Bismarck? (as in North Dakota, of course)


Oh, you're going straight to hell for that?

/Or at least going down after being torpedoed by a Fairey.
 
2013-04-23 10:39:49 PM

TommyDeuce: /Or at least going down after being torpedoed by a Fairey.


www.gayprowrestling.com
 
Ehh
2013-04-23 10:40:32 PM
I guess the Pynchon reference is up to me.

/USS John E. Badass
 
2013-04-23 10:42:51 PM

johnny_vegas: TommyDeuce: /Or at least going down after being torpedoed by a Fairey.

[www.gayprowrestling.com image 196x301]


I was thinking of a different kind of "Swordfish"

www.timemoneyandblood.com

But whatever works for you!
 
2013-04-23 10:44:13 PM

TommyDeuce: johnny_vegas: TommyDeuce: /Or at least going down after being torpedoed by a Fairey.

[www.gayprowrestling.com image 196x301]

I was thinking of a different kind of "Swordfish"

[www.timemoneyandblood.com image 550x350]

But whatever works for you!


get your mind out of the gutter
 
2013-04-23 11:00:21 PM

TommyDeuce: johnny_vegas: TommyDeuce: /Or at least going down after being torpedoed by a Fairey.

[www.gayprowrestling.com image 196x301]

I was thinking of a different kind of "Swordfish"

[www.timemoneyandblood.com image 550x350]

But whatever works for you!


Indeed so. My late mother was a Channel Dash widow:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Channel_Dash
 
2013-04-23 11:22:23 PM
I enjoyed it when the Department of Agriculture named one of their cafeterias after Alferd Packer.
 
2013-04-23 11:45:16 PM
U.S.S. Addadictomy
U.S.S Strapalottamiss
U.S.S Saphos
U.S.S. Samuel S. Gompers better known as S.S. Gompers, better known as, the girls are inbound it's time to partay.
From Oaktown to Busan, good times good times.
But, I digress.
What were we chatting about?
Pussy wasn't it?
but I digress.
 
2013-04-24 12:02:10 AM

ReverendJynxed: As an aside, for Russian ship names you can find a few here  http://www.rjlee.org/shipind.html

The Soviets didn't just number things.



No  Krasniy Oktyabr . . . I am disappoint

/ no ping,Vasily
 
2013-04-24 12:46:48 AM
I must admit that the first time I saw the Rommel I was a bit surprised at the name, but then I remembered he had never really been a Nazi and had been well-respected by both sides.

www.battleships-cruisers.co.uk
 
2013-04-24 06:18:59 AM
The modern naming conventions for naval vessels disgusts me.
 
2013-04-24 08:57:03 AM

cman: JosephFinn: Well of course we shouldn't have an aircraft carrier named after a traitor like Reagan.

Can you please define what a "traitor" is?


Someone who secretly sells arms to our enemies?

/Here to help
 
2013-04-24 10:52:35 AM
images4.wikia.nocookie.net

Yeah, I let the USS Barry sink. Sank like a B-rock
 
2013-04-24 05:19:21 PM

The Irresponsible Captain: Not surprising this fool was on the list twice:

[www.biography.com image 402x402]


Don't be so uptight . It's just a way to honor Americas heros . Hopefully he will be honored with  many more over the years .
 
2013-04-25 05:00:19 AM
Neil already has a ship named after him by now, she's just not a warship. She's a research vessel.

/creeps meekly away, expecting to be screamed at and called
SPACE NUTTER FOOL SUICIDAL IDIOTIC SPACE CHILD
 
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