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(TC Palm)   A guy kicks back a couple of Colt 45 tall boys and suddenly finds himself surrounded by bullet casings, cops and covered in feces. Cue Billy Dee Williams, "It works every time"   (blogs.tcpalm.com) divider line 44
    More: Florida, Billy Dee Williams, Vero Beach, Indian River County, Lando Calrissian  
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9874 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2013 at 10:47 AM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-23 10:22:45 AM
FTFA: The affidavit didn't state whether Johnston hit the glass bottle.

I'm guessing "no."
 
2013-04-23 10:37:20 AM
'..the apparent feces in his pants.'

I bet he's a Ted Nugent fan.
 
2013-04-23 10:38:22 AM
 Shiating your pants 60% of the time, works every time.
 
2013-04-23 10:50:55 AM
That's some damn fine journalism, there, Lou. (And I'm not being sarcastic)
 
2013-04-23 10:52:40 AM
What kind of country is this turning into where you cannot get shiatty drunk and shoot up a dock without some stormtroopers taking you away?
 
2013-04-23 10:53:19 AM

jso2897: That's some damn fine journalism, there, Lou. (And I'm not being sarcastic)


Yeah that was actually pretty good, as local Florida reporting goes.
 
2013-04-23 10:57:21 AM
poop

Which Farker wrote this article?!
 
2013-04-23 11:02:04 AM
Drinking and defecating is legal. Drinking and shooting, maybe not so much.

Got it. Good to know. Now, defecating and shooting... is that's quasi-legal? Like you have to be a hunchback to do it?
 
2013-04-23 11:02:13 AM
So he was just out shooting the shiat.
 
2013-04-23 11:03:56 AM
i get fooled into clicking on this idiot's "articles" way too often.  can we get a tag or something to give a warning so i can avoid them?
 
2013-04-23 11:06:47 AM
Shooting up a dock, about to shiat his pants.
www.cyberpunkreview.com
 
2013-04-23 11:06:53 AM
Yeah, I had to look this one up - .45 caliber black powder handgun. AArrrrrr thar be rednecks in them thar bars
 
2013-04-23 11:11:18 AM
So, hillbillies.
 
2013-04-23 11:18:13 AM
POOP! There it is...
 
2013-04-23 11:20:37 AM
WhoopAssWayne

Yeah, I had to look this one up -.45 caliber black powder handgun. AArrrrrr thar be rednecks in them thar bars

I have this one   http://www.gunauction.com/buy/10731139/black-powder/black-powder-hand g uns/black-powder-pistol-jukar-.45-ca ,but damn, $150? I only paid $25 for mine at the gun show a few years ago.
 
2013-04-23 11:21:20 AM
So he was shooting a Colt 45 and pooped in a bottle?
 
2013-04-23 11:23:21 AM

Harry Freakstorm: Drinking and defecating is legal. Drinking and shooting, maybe not so much.

Got it. Good to know. Now, defecating and shooting... is that's quasi-legal? Like you have to be a hunchback to do it?


you better bet your red white and blue ass that drinking and defecating is legal.
 
2013-04-23 11:25:46 AM
I wanted to post a image of a Colt 45 gun together with a Colt 45 beer in this thread but I couldn't find one.
 
2013-04-23 11:34:07 AM
FTA:  Johnston was swaying as the deputy spoke to him and defecated in his trousers, the affidavit states.

The deputy shat his trousers whilst speaking with Johnston?
 
2013-04-23 11:34:52 AM
couldn't hold his mud.
 
2013-04-23 11:34:54 AM
"Brouhaha". Now there's a word you don't hear everyday.
 
2013-04-23 11:35:44 AM

Frantic Freddie: only paid $25 for mine at the gun show a few years ago.


Cool. Man, at $25 is that thing safe to shoot? :-)
 
2013-04-23 11:41:59 AM
Going to have fun time in jail being known as the "Pooping malt liquor guy".
 
2013-04-23 11:44:34 AM
I don't always drink beer, but when I do I end up covered in shiat.

thumbs.imagekind.com
 
2013-04-23 11:46:32 AM
If you've ever imbibed in Colt 45 malt liquor, you would know that it will indeed give you the sh*ts, as will Schlitz

/never caused me to poop my pants though
 
2013-04-23 11:59:14 AM
At first I thought it said "a gay". It was much more interesting that way.
 
2013-04-23 12:01:59 PM

offmymeds: "Brouhaha". Now there's a word you don't hear everyday.


It's something of a donnybrook.
 
2013-04-23 12:03:46 PM
WhoopAssWayne
Cool. Man, at $25 is that thing safe to shoot? :-)

Perfectly safe,black powder has much lower pressures than smokeless. Of course I don't do stupid shiat like overload it or like the moran in TFA, drink while handling firearms.
 
2013-04-23 12:10:13 PM
Two tall boys and he gets that smoked?

Unlikely.

Unless he's the No. 1 world class light-weight.
 
2013-04-23 12:31:29 PM
The context of the affidavit narrative suggests Johnston's reference to "the dock (feces)" being his "(feces)" referred to the gunfire damage, as opposed to the apparent feces in his pants.

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-23 12:42:35 PM

theorellior: offmymeds: "Brouhaha". Now there's a word you don't hear everyday.

It's something of a donnybrook.


i1136.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-23 01:04:23 PM
Malt liquor always gives me the shiats.
 
2013-04-23 01:08:22 PM

theorellior: offmymeds: "Brouhaha". Now there's a word you don't hear everyday.

It's something of a donnybrook.


Bit of a hub bub
 
2013-04-23 01:31:09 PM

theorellior: offmymeds: "Brouhaha". Now there's a word you don't hear everyday.

It's something of a donnybrook.


Known to happen most often during a box car social
 
2013-04-23 01:31:38 PM
So what was he arrested for?  Shooting and Pooing?  Sounds like a country song
 
2013-04-23 01:51:55 PM
Bullet holes in the pilings are "repaired" with sandpaper, maybe. You don't replace them for that kind of cosmetic damage no matter how much of an "eyesore" they may be not unless they were shot so many times they lost their structural integrity. That would be a lot of shooting from heavier weapons than a handgun.  Ditto the decking. Railing and trim boards with bullet holes can be patched and painted if necessary.  I doubt if the cost would be $1,000, though unless someone has a brother-in-law repair contract with Gifford Docks .

The cop is being a dumbass in this regard.
 
2013-04-23 01:59:43 PM

wambu: Bullet holes in the pilings are "repaired" with sandpaper, maybe. You don't replace them for that kind of cosmetic damage no matter how much of an "eyesore" they may be not unless they were shot so many times they lost their structural integrity. That would be a lot of shooting from heavier weapons than a handgun.  Ditto the decking. Railing and trim boards with bullet holes can be patched and painted if necessary.  I doubt if the cost would be $1,000, though unless someone has a brother-in-law repair contract with Gifford Docks .

The cop is being a dumbass in this regard.


Damage costs are always quoted as what it would take to make it like the damage never happened, regardless of whether that's what any sane person would actually bother doing.
 
2013-04-23 03:16:24 PM
 
2013-04-23 03:28:39 PM
Drinking, shootin', and poopin' on a dock?

This is the 2nd thread in the last month that made me cue up the Ween song "Poop Ship Destroyer"
 
2013-04-23 04:20:37 PM

LittleSmitty: If you've ever imbibed in Colt 45 malt liquor, you would know that it will indeed give you the sh*ts, as will Schlitz

/never caused me to poop my pants though


I always thought that Schlitz was some story they made up to scare young people. Lo and behold, I was at a grocery store one afternoon and there it was. You know I had to buy a 12-pack. I had to know, man.

Decorum prevents me from describing the noises and product emanating from my ass the following morning.
 
2013-04-23 04:56:57 PM
Schlitz Shiat Malt Liquor
 
2013-04-23 05:37:19 PM
He may be covered in shiat, but at least his headlines don't suffer from faulty parallelism, subby!

/ZING
 
2013-04-24 12:14:39 PM
An evening with malt liquor and plenty of gunfire ended with poop and a trip to the Indian River County jail for an Orlando man, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

Now that is a lede.
 
2013-04-24 12:20:56 PM

Thelyphthoric: Drinking, shootin', and poopin' on a dock?


I'm poopin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just poopin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
 
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