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(Time)   Six things that are surprisingly banned from most front yards   (business.time.com) divider line 136
    More: Silly, vegetable gardens, garden gnomes, Whitefish Bay  
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24663 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2013 at 8:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-22 09:56:22 PM
I'm all for freedom of expression, but can we please ban this shiat?

paulalovesmarla.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-22 09:57:14 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Ambivalence: Makes me glad my neighborhood is unincorporated.  I could have farking goats and chickens in my yard if I wanted.

I bet you see that as some sort of plus


I bet you see that as some sort of negative
 
2013-04-22 10:04:46 PM
I want a clothes line.  No, I'm not poor.
 
2013-04-22 10:05:39 PM

Ambivalence: Makes me glad my neighborhood is unincorporated.  I could have farking goats and chickens in my yard if I wanted.


Same here. Rural areas are the best. Can't keep horses and chickens in town. Or burn garbage.... Shoot squirrels, do pig roasts in the yard.
 
2013-04-22 10:06:11 PM

t3knomanser: This is why I don't have a yard. Well, not really. I don't have a yard because I have absolutely no interest in having a yard. But it sounds good, doesn't it? I have a nice little fenced in patio, paved with brick. I sweep it a few times a year.

SurelyShirley: Finally had enough of all the nonsense of city life

Maybe it's the east coast, but I have  never seen a HOA within city borders. You generally don't get a HOA until you're out in the burbs. I saw a few city-ish HOAs when I visited Denver, but none in anything I'd call a "city" neighborhood. As a general rule, if you need a car to get groceries, you  probably don't live in a city (or you live too deep into the city such that you're in a 'food desert').


My old house was within the city limits of Douglasville, GA and was within an HOA as well. Granted, Douglasville was a suburb of Atlanta, but it was an incorporated city and it was outside of Fulton County.

New house? Not in an HOA, not in the city limits, out in the unincorporated parts of Lee Co, Florida. There's some county rules and regulations, but they're pretty tame compared to the Gestapo rules of Cape Coral and Ft Myers.

/up until a year or two ago, you couldn't park a pickup truck in your driveway in Cape Coral
//brand new or broken down beater, didn't matter
 
2013-04-22 10:07:26 PM

grimlock1972: I hate HOAS, but if your going to join one make sure you check what you want to do to your yard is permitted and it it seems borderline get it okayed first.  Same goes for city or county ordinances.

also No couches in yards or on porches period.


That one makes a little sense in that vermin like to live in them.  Nobody wants to sit on a skunk den
 
2013-04-22 10:07:48 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Ah yes, home "ownership", because it's "yours" and you can do what you want... uh huh. Explain that to me again, mortgage-slaves?


Still upset you had to sign away your mineral rights?
 
2013-04-22 10:08:31 PM

TheSwissNavy: What the bloody hell is the purpose of licensing bicycles ?


It's the first step toward confiscating your guns and the introduction of the New World Order.
 
2013-04-22 10:13:48 PM
If somebody has to tell you not to put a couch on your lawn, you should probably go live in a trailer park anyway. You'll fit in much better there.
 
2013-04-22 10:14:03 PM

Amos Quito: [cdn1.elitedaily.com image 485x328]

HOA is an acronym for what?


Home Owners Association, or are you's jis trollin?
 
2013-04-22 10:16:51 PM
What I don't understand (being in Scotland) about these HOA's is how they actually enforce their batshiattery..

I know when you buy your house from the last victim, in the sale contract with the Owner, you have to sign the HOA contract...hence they can get you.
But what would happen if the person selling the house to you, declines to make that a condition;

At that point your contract of sale is purely with the Owner (who DOES have a contract with the HOA), but if you don't ink anything with the HOA, because the current Owner decides "fark em", aside from suing the old Owner once the sale has commenced, in what way can the HOA do shiat against you? You own the house; your contract with the previous owner, having no stupid clause about an HOA, is complete upon transfer of agreed funds etc. so how could the HOA, now a third-party to your contract with the Owner, come in and tell you to move shiat, change that, don't do this?

Any legal eagles in the US clear my ignorance up for me?
 
2013-04-22 10:21:48 PM
The anti-vegetable (and rules about green grass) really confound me. Who cares what your yard grows as long as you can keep it tidy?
 
2013-04-22 10:22:15 PM

t3knomanser: This is why I don't have a yard. Well, not really. I don't have a yard because I have absolutely no interest in having a yard. But it sounds good, doesn't it? I have a nice little fenced in patio, paved with brick. I sweep it a few times a year.

SurelyShirley: Finally had enough of all the nonsense of city life

Maybe it's the east coast, but I have  never seen a HOA within city borders. You generally don't get a HOA until you're out in the burbs. I saw a few city-ish HOAs when I visited Denver, but none in anything I'd call a "city" neighborhood. As a general rule, if you need a car to get groceries, you  probably don't live in a city (or you live too deep into the city such that you're in a 'food desert').


Lawlz, here in TX, I need my car to get my goddamn mail. And yes, I live in the city. Cities in the NE we're laid out before the car, and that's about the only place in America where what you describe is normal, man.
 
2013-04-22 10:31:31 PM

TheSwissNavy: From the Whitefish Bay (the town that doesn't like book-sharing) municipal code:


All bicycles operated within the Village of Whitefish Bay are required to be licensed. The fee is $10.00, and the license does not expire.


What the bloody hell is the purpose of licensing bicycles ?


Revenue generation?
 
2013-04-22 10:34:54 PM
List fails without old bath-tubs converted to shrines to the BVM. (Italian, Portuguese neighbourhoods)

Mirror balls and planters made from old tires painted white. (proles with a touch of DIY)

Concrete geese and deer. (animal lovers who love their animals stuffed and mounted.)

Excessive numbers of whirligigs and ducks with wings that rotate. (Insane People Live Here.)

Old men mowing the lawn with scythes (time warps)

Goats. (back roads full of hippies with suspiciously large collections of luxury four-wheel drives)

Junked pick-up trucks, with resident goat. (Adam Sandler sketches)

Matched sets of tiny lions, tight-assed 50s and 60s topiary. (People who know all the words to Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail)

Rented signs that quote Scriptures (Dangerously religious people).

Shoes hanging from the telephone wires. (Foot fetishists that don't take down their Christmas decorations).
Christmas decorations galore (People who can't let go.)

Easter decorations (People who go too far.)

Over-wrought Halloween decorations (cool people if the date is between Oct 1-31), creepy people if the date is between Dec 1- Feb 14).

The overflow of cars from the driveway (Party people, working class rural people with six teenage children).

A Rolls Royce Silver Phantom (Very, very lucky people. And you're lucky too if you got that far up the drive without being shot.)

A complete set of garden gnomes (people who sell garden gnomes and the people they sell them to.)

Tombstones (The house was once a church or the home-owner sells funeral monuments from his home.)

Jimmy Carter wearing a giant beehive wig. (You are watching a Simpsons cartoon. Or else you are stoned.)
 
2013-04-22 10:35:36 PM
There are a few communities here in northeast Georgia that have signs stating they are "covenant restricted" communities.  As I understand it, that's an HOA taken to new levels of idiocy.
 
2013-04-22 10:36:55 PM

AdrienVeidt: Lawlz, here in TX, I need my car to get my goddamn mail. And yes, I live in the city. Cities in the NE we're laid out before the car, and that's about the only place in America where what you describe is normal, man.


Uh, not just the NE.  There are a few other older cities in the US not in the NE that are laid out reasonably as well.  I live in a building built in the late 1800's a few blocks from a subway station and I'm nowhere near the NE.  I have a car but don't often drive it (I think I put about 4000 miles on it last year) because I can walk or take public transportation to much of what I need to, and no, I'm not some silly self-righteous little hipster, I'm in my 40's.
 
2013-04-22 10:44:12 PM

Galileo's Daughter: There are a few communities here in northeast Georgia that have signs stating they are "covenant restricted" communities.  As I understand it, that's an HOA taken to new levels of idiocy.


An HOA's restrictions/rules are typically called covenants.  There's nothing new here other than the signs state "covenant restricted" as opposed to "managed by XXXX HOA association".
 
2013-04-22 10:44:34 PM

Wizard Drongo: Any legal eagles in the US clear my ignorance up for me?


I would think there'd be covenants placed on the title.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covenant_%28law%29#Covenants_in_planned _c ommunities
 
2013-04-22 10:49:34 PM
When I was a young lad in New England (as an involuntary tourist, that is), I noted that there seems to be some sort of law that requires a lawn sale, garage sale, or a unattended stand selling some homely craft or "local" produce on every lawn and driveway. All the good stuff is gone before 5:00 a.m. (or 6:00 p.m. the night before if the homeowners allow "Early People"), so I'm not exactly sure what New Englanders have to sell, but whatever they have, they seem to sell it and everything else they can't fit in a garburator.

In fact, New Englanders never throw any thing out. They just move it around from yard to yard until it becomes antiques. People in the Maritime Provinces are smilar except they don't put the stuff they collect out on the lawn. At least, not if it's useful or nice. I've been in many houses that suggest the rule is that the interior decoration is the same period as the house because nobody ever buys new furniture once they've been married for three years. That's why you see truckloads of "antiques" heading West all summer. Their must be at last 600,000,000 XIXth century houses between Fredericton, New Brunswick and St. John's Harbour, Newfoundland.

Either that or somebody bought the entire stock of the Sears Roebuck Company between 1880-1939 and are slowly liquidating it an enormous profit.
 
2013-04-22 10:49:46 PM

tonguedepressor: [upload.wikimedia.org image 366x500]


Lawn jockeys aren't racist and were used to point the way to the underground railroad & code for a safe house/refuge for slaves.
 
2013-04-22 10:54:58 PM

Rapmaster2000: I live in a hippie city.  Front yard gardens are encouraged.  I have one because the trees in my back yard block out the sun.


Just put together a new raised bed in my front yard here. I have vegies in the backyard as well, but most of them are in the front for the same reason as you. the ones in the back don't need as much light. Mostly the leafy greens, the spinich is doing great this year!

neighbor down the way is the organizer of the local Farmers market group and she has a couple of goats and a little flock of chickens in yard.

and this is one of the vintage suburban neighborhoods in a classically conservative city.
 
2013-04-22 10:55:09 PM

TheSwissNavy: From the Whitefish Bay (the town that doesn't like book-sharing) municipal code:


All bicycles operated within the Village of Whitefish Bay are required to be licensed. The fee is $10.00, and the license does not expire.


What the bloody hell is the purpose of licensing bicycles ?


So that those who sell bicycle lincenses can have jobs.
 
2013-04-22 10:56:34 PM

AliceBToklasLives: Quantum Apostrophe: Ah yes, home "ownership", because it's "yours" and you can do what you want... uh huh. Explain that to me again, mortgage-slaves?

Still upset you had to sign away your mineral rights?


It's all fun and games until a developer puts a yellow tag on a tree. Oh, sorry, "your" tree.
 
2013-04-22 10:58:44 PM

Wizard Drongo: What I don't understand (being in Scotland) about these HOA's is how they actually enforce their batshiattery..

I know when you buy your house from the last victim, in the sale contract with the Owner, you have to sign the HOA contract...hence they can get you.
But what would happen if the person selling the house to you, declines to make that a condition;

At that point your contract of sale is purely with the Owner (who DOES have a contract with the HOA), but if you don't ink anything with the HOA, because the current Owner decides "fark em", aside from suing the old Owner once the sale has commenced, in what way can the HOA do shiat against you? You own the house; your contract with the previous owner, having no stupid clause about an HOA, is complete upon transfer of agreed funds etc. so how could the HOA, now a third-party to your contract with the Owner, come in and tell you to move shiat, change that, don't do this?

Any legal eagles in the US clear my ignorance up for me?


I'm actually wondering the same thing.  We just bought our house and there was no HOA contract to sign, but it turns out there is an HOA.  Now, the dues are minimal (like $20/month) and for the parks and walking trails we get it's worth it, and the restrictions aren't particularly onerous (no cars in the yard, no permanent clotheslines, try to keep trash bins out of site, etc.) but there is one big restriction that I'm curious about.  Supposedly, we're supposed to keep fences ten feet from the walking trails, but nobody seems to follow that restriction and I'm hoping it won't come up when we want to fence in our yard.  Honestly, I've seen a bunch of "violations" in the couple of weeks we've been here but nobody seems to really care about it.  It's probably the difference between a 1970s era HOA and a newer HOA.
 
2013-04-22 11:05:58 PM

rugman11: It's probably the difference between a 1970s era HOA and a newer HOA.


I believe you are correct.  I know some people who live in an older subdivision with a 70's era HOA.  A retired Chicago cop moved in decided he wanted to raise goats in his back yard (this is a semi-rural area), so he did.  When one of the neighbors didn't like it she realized that the HOA agreements required that she had to built a case with the other neighbors to complain about his goats.  Turns out nobody cared as he took good care of those damn goats and she was just uptight, therefore the goats remain.  I think they are cute.
 
2013-04-22 11:14:58 PM
What most think a front yard garden will look like:

imavex.vo.llnwd.net

What they really look like most of the year:
i.imgur.com

Which might be ok, just don't romanticize what you're getting into.
 
2013-04-22 11:21:50 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Ambivalence: Makes me glad my neighborhood is unincorporated.  I could have farking goats and chickens in my yard if I wanted.

I bet you see that as some sort of plus


I think it is. Granted its a pretty cool neighborhood and people don't have rusted out cars or appliances in their yards.  It could be a big negative if it went trashy.
 
2013-04-22 11:25:37 PM

Wizard Drongo: What I don't understand (being in Scotland) about these HOA's is how they actually enforce their batshiattery..

I know when you buy your house from the last victim, in the sale contract with the Owner, you have to sign the HOA contract...hence they can get you.
But what would happen if the person selling the house to you, declines to make that a condition;

At that point your contract of sale is purely with the Owner (who DOES have a contract with the HOA), but if you don't ink anything with the HOA, because the current Owner decides "fark em", aside from suing the old Owner once the sale has commenced, in what way can the HOA do shiat against you? You own the house; your contract with the previous owner, having no stupid clause about an HOA, is complete upon transfer of agreed funds etc. so how could the HOA, now a third-party to your contract with the Owner, come in and tell you to move shiat, change that, don't do this?

Any legal eagles in the US clear my ignorance up for me?


very basic explanation: Membership of the HOA is a restriction recorded against the real property. Whenever you buy the property, you take it subject to the HOA restrictions like taking property subject to any other easement. An HOA can usually enforce rulings by placing a lien on the property, then foreclosing if necessary.

Incidentally, HOA's that work are like the planes that land. They don't make the news, but they are the vast majority. My neighbor painting his house neon orange and putting couches and cars in the yard would be very bad for my house's value, so I don't complain.
 
2013-04-22 11:26:07 PM
hmm, 6 things that I unsurprisingly already knew were banned from front yards.

good job, Time.
 
2013-04-22 11:28:45 PM
www.sampa.com
 
2013-04-22 11:29:11 PM
>Couches*

*Not valid in Morgantown, WV during football season

//if they are having a good season, they won't be there long and you'll be able to see the smoke from miles away
 
2013-04-22 11:31:24 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Ah yes, home "ownership", because it's "yours" and you can do what you want... uh huh. Explain that to me again, mortgage-slaves?


Let's see...
I have to live somewhere, right? The last apartment I had (4 years ago) is now renting for more than I pay per month for mortgage + taxes + insurance. The wife and I both have stable careers and we won't need to move for the foreseeable future. There is no HOA where I live, and I have yet to be told "no" by the town for any of the rather extensive work that I've done to the house.

Explain to me what makes me a "slave" to my mortgage.
 
2013-04-22 11:35:32 PM

DarthBart: t3knomanser: This is why I don't have a yard. Well, not really. I don't have a yard because I have absolutely no interest in having a yard. But it sounds good, doesn't it? I have a nice little fenced in patio, paved with brick. I sweep it a few times a year.

SurelyShirley: Finally had enough of all the nonsense of city life

/up until a year or two ago, you couldn't park a pickup truck in your driveway in Cape Coral
//brand new or broken down beater, didn't matter


You've got to be kidding. Most trucks cost more than new cars do. I could see them making a case for maybe on-street parking but you are going to tell someone essentially what type of vehicle they can park in their own driveway? If accurate, I'm surprised that scenario hasn't seen the inside of a courtroom yet.
 
2013-04-22 11:35:59 PM
Goddamn so you mean I got to tear down this gigantic marble statue of Dabney Coleman in the firing pose from 9 to 5 just for this.
 
2013-04-22 11:49:37 PM
I'm ripping up my front lawn and planting prairie grasses and wildflowers.  Less for me to mow, better for water filtration/absorption, and attracts birds and butterflies.  If the neighbors don't like it, they can suck a fat one.  I might do a garden as well, as the back yard is mostly shaded by the 100+ year old oaks.  Perfect for entertaining, sucky for veggies.

/bought a nice old fixer upper
//buy low, kids
 
2013-04-23 12:09:46 AM
About the only things code says sind verboten in my city is livestock other than chickens, non operational vehicles, and grass taller than 12",

and the non operational vehicles can be keeped in the backyard if it either has a privacy fence or sufficient wooded area to qualify as equivelent to a privacy fence, and the livestock can be keeped if you pay for a permit and have a big enough lot and high enough fence to meet inspection.
 
2013-04-23 12:13:13 AM

xxmedium: DarthBart: t3knomanser: This is why I don't have a yard. Well, not really. I don't have a yard because I have absolutely no interest in having a yard. But it sounds good, doesn't it? I have a nice little fenced in patio, paved with brick. I sweep it a few times a year.

SurelyShirley: Finally had enough of all the nonsense of city life

/up until a year or two ago, you couldn't park a pickup truck in your driveway in Cape Coral
//brand new or broken down beater, didn't matter

You've got to be kidding. Most trucks cost more than new cars do. I could see them making a case for maybe on-street parking but you are going to tell someone essentially what type of vehicle they can park in their own driveway? If accurate, I'm surprised that scenario hasn't seen the inside of a courtroom yet.


Remember, once the HOA gets started, they can write anything they want in.  You buy the house, you automatically agree to any BS they wanna fling, you don't get to complain.  A courtroom case wouldn't last 10 minutes most likely, it's all bound up nicely in legalese and those lovely 'binding automatic agreements' that are so popular nowadays.
 
2013-04-23 12:26:04 AM
Quantum Apostrophe: Ah yes, home "ownership", because it's "yours" and you can do what you want... uh huh. Explain that to me again, mortgage-slaves?

lizyrd: Let's see...
I have to live somewhere, right? The last apartment I had (4 years ago) is now renting for more than I pay per month for mortgage + taxes + insurance. The wife and I both have stable careers and we won't need to move for the foreseeable future. There is no HOA where I live, and I have yet to be told "no" by the town for any of the rather extensive work that I've done to the house.
Explain to me what makes me a "slave" to my mortgage.


Farkers who can't afford to buy houses are very disparaging of home ownership. They don't understand basic economics yet think they're more financially savvy than homeowners. Sour grapes served with sour finances.
 
2013-04-23 12:30:17 AM
As far as I know all of those are legal in my neighborhood, though I honestly don't know if anyone has tried to open a library on their front walk yet.

/no HOA
//actually liked my last HOA
///free BBQ and beer parties!
 
2013-04-23 12:42:25 AM
I'm pretty sure I have neighbors who have all six of those things on their front lawns at the same time on any given day.
 
2013-04-23 12:47:52 AM
1-10 anything but grass and trees

exceptions for holidays and politics
 
2013-04-23 12:48:33 AM
27 years same house, no HOA, small cul-de-sac by a lake.
We just give polite nods to each other and help each other when we can.
When the Cessna bit the trees 20 something years ago, we all worked together for minor repairs and stuff. Other than that, our damn pink plastic flamingos stay.
 
2013-04-23 12:52:23 AM

EngineerAU: What most think a front yard garden will look like:

[imavex.vo.llnwd.net image 452x300]

What they really look like most of the year:
[i.imgur.com image 300x202]

Which might be ok, just don't romanticize what you're getting into.


Raised beds look pretty bad, no matter where they are.  Plus they use more water.

Profile has pics of my front and backyard.
 
2013-04-23 01:08:29 AM
But is it really still a couch if you make it into a porch swing?
 
2013-04-23 01:10:03 AM
My front yard is mostly edible trees, vines, bushes, perennial and annual veggies, native prairie grasses and wildflowers, with a few special ornamental plants thrown in here and there.  Most people notice my garden and I get a lot of compliments from neighbors and visitors, but few people even realize it's mostly food.  This notion that edible plants are less attractive than strictly ornamental ones is silly; the plants that I get the most "oohs" and "ahs" over are my tall, ferny asparagus, bold, stately artichokes, and my hardy almond trees when they're covered in gorgeous pink blossoms that rival ornamental cherries and bloom much earlier.

/I have to admit, though, boxy raised veggie beds are ugly.
 
2013-04-23 01:14:24 AM
used to live in a subdivision of about 80 homes.  hoa fees about the same--84 bucks per year.  included a boat ramp, beach and park, and we used to have some of the best parties around---progressive dinner in the spring, summer picnics at the beach, a boat flotilla once a year.  lots of other benefits.  couldnt beat the price.

i miss that neighborhood.
 
2013-04-23 01:43:32 AM

Forsythe P. Jones: 27 years same house, no HOA, small cul-de-sac by a lake.
We just give polite nods to each other and help each other when we can.
When the Cessna bit the trees 20 something years ago, we all worked together for minor repairs and stuff. Other than that, our damn pink plastic flamingos stay.


www.surroundedbyreality.com
Saw this live in 1979, my first day at Madison.  Thought they did this every year.
 
2013-04-23 02:04:10 AM
Two blocks from me a guy planted flowers in an ugly toilet in his front yard. Came here to see toilets on the list. Didn't see squat.
 
2013-04-23 02:12:13 AM
What a bunch of busy-bodied freaks.
 
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