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(Time)   Six things that are surprisingly banned from most front yards   (business.time.com) divider line 136
    More: Silly, vegetable gardens, garden gnomes, Whitefish Bay  
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24655 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2013 at 8:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-22 07:55:26 PM
Read your fascist HOA contract before you sign.
 
2013-04-22 07:58:34 PM
Oooo HOA thread.

/runs for popcorn
 
2013-04-22 08:02:53 PM
cdn1.elitedaily.com

HOA is an acronym for what?
 
2013-04-22 08:14:10 PM
Until someone finds a better jart target than lawn gnomes, my neighbors can kiss my ass.
 
2013-04-22 08:30:56 PM
Makes me glad my neighborhood is unincorporated.  I could have farking goats and chickens in my yard if I wanted.
 
2013-04-22 08:33:04 PM
Missing from list: graves
 
2013-04-22 08:35:32 PM

Mugato: Read your fascist HOA contract before you signDo not move into neighborhoods that have an HOA.


FTFM
 
2013-04-22 08:48:54 PM

toddalmighty: Missing from list: graves


I lawled.

From the list: Garden Gnomes. If these items cannot be displayed, please tell my sister that she has to remove her 3-foot tall Virgin Mary statue from her front yard.

/Jesus Christ.
//Worship him and not the broad.
///farking Catholics.
////Goddamnit so much.
 
2013-04-22 08:50:51 PM
Yes, HOAs are insane.  However, this particular article deals primarily with municipal regulations...not HOAs.  City government can occasionally be insane too.
 
2013-04-22 08:54:36 PM

Nuclear Monk: Yes, HOAs are insane.  However, this particular article deals primarily with municipal regulations...not HOAs.  City government can occasionally be insane too.


Forget it, this thread is headed for an HOA derp storm. It's going to get out of control and we'll be lucky to survive it.

/no couches in the front yard? Where am I supposed to lay naked? In the grass?
//the human wang is a beautiful thing
 
2013-04-22 08:54:40 PM
Funny garden gnomes seem so quiet and meek.

s15.postimg.org
 
2013-04-22 08:56:47 PM
The library sounds like a neat idea.
/now I just need a house to put one in front of
 
2013-04-22 08:57:13 PM

What in The: toddalmighty: Missing from list: graves

I lawled.

From the list: Garden Gnomes. If these items cannot be displayed, please tell my sister that she has to remove her 3-foot tall Virgin Mary statue from her front yard.


Don't laugh; this guy had to replant his wife.

Jesus is worshipped; his mom is venerated.
 
2013-04-22 08:57:29 PM
i34.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-22 09:00:14 PM

Nuclear Monk: Yes, HOAs are insane.  However, this particular article deals primarily with municipal regulations...not HOAs.   City government can occasionally be insane too.


Great Neck is mentioned a few times, which isn't surprising considering the uptight nature of the demographic there.
 
2013-04-22 09:01:52 PM
near halloween I hang hog skulls from the tree in my front yard

yes, my christmas lights are still up, why?
 
2013-04-22 09:02:46 PM

Ambivalence: Makes me glad my neighborhood is unincorporated.  I could have farking goats and chickens in my yard if I wanted.


Driving to a golf course this morning I actually saw a goat happily watching the traffic from a front yard. Yes, it was out in the country, but not a farm house. Made me laugh, and also kind of want to move just out of the city enough to have that level of freedom.
 
2013-04-22 09:06:12 PM
FTFA: Another resident said he was facing a $100-per-month fine if he didn't get rid of a basketball hoop in his driveway. Meanwhile, reporters took note that the community's homeowner association president had a decorative fountain and a statue of a cat in front of his house.

Yep, that's about right.

\Doesn't live in an HOA.  Lives in an apartment.  Which is only slightly better.
 
2013-04-22 09:08:11 PM
Remember, you can only grow useless plants that consume water and produce little in return. Nothing that's actually useful. Enjoy your freedom.
 
2013-04-22 09:08:55 PM
www.portalisimo.com

Zombies vs HOA's
 
2013-04-22 09:09:51 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-22 09:10:46 PM

Ambivalence: Makes me glad my neighborhood is unincorporated.  I could have farking goats and chickens in my yard if I wanted.


I bet you see that as some sort of plus
 
2013-04-22 09:12:04 PM
The whole anti-garden thing has created the term Guerrilla Gardening.
 
2013-04-22 09:13:10 PM
It's a good thing I don't live any place that had a front lawn; one of the first things I'd do is plow up the useless inedible grass and put in some raised beds for actual produce. That way, any labor I have to expend on the plants will eventually come back to me as calories or as nutrients.

Of course, any place around here that has plots with lawns will probably have HOAs or neighbors that will have a shrieking shiat fit about someone actually tilling the soil instead of creating a living monument of too much free time and OCD.

Have I mentioned I hate lawns? They suck.
 
2013-04-22 09:14:38 PM

Ambivalence: I could have farking goats and chickens in my yard if I wanted.


Um, did anyone tell you goats and chickens cannot have offspring?
 
2013-04-22 09:19:26 PM

theorellior: Ambivalence: I could have farking goats and chickens in my yard if I wanted.

Um, did anyone tell you goats and chickens cannot have offspring?


Not that the rooster doesn't try.
 
2013-04-22 09:19:50 PM
I've lived in too many crowded and over regulated places where a flower pot in the wrong place or ivy that grew 6" over the fence would get you a stern wag of the finger from your friendly HOA brown shirt in no time.
Finally had enough of all the nonsense of city life and retreated deep into the woods. No complaints about too many howling dogs, a boat trailer parked in the driveway, a basketball hoop or the handful of picknick tables around the fire pit.

/Land of the free
 
2013-04-22 09:20:21 PM
This is the guy who enforced these rules in his community:
truelifecrimes.com
 
2013-04-22 09:20:26 PM
what a stupid farking list.
 
2013-04-22 09:21:00 PM
Canadian comedian Lorne Elliot used to have a great song about lawn ornaments. A quick check of YouTube reveals nothing. :(
 
2013-04-22 09:21:42 PM
You must conform.
 
2013-04-22 09:22:12 PM
I live in a hippie city.  Front yard gardens are encouraged.  I have one because the trees in my back yard block out the sun.
 
2013-04-22 09:22:56 PM
Ah yes, home "ownership", because it's "yours" and you can do what you want... uh huh. Explain that to me again, mortgage-slaves?
 
2013-04-22 09:25:42 PM
I agree with everything but the garden gnomes. They should be encouraged, and in fact a tax break should be given out to residents for each and every garden gnome they put out on their front lawns. This way when people walk or drive down the streets, they can see that it's a happy, peaceful community, and maybe then the actual gnomes will stop killing our first-born and all will be back to normal.
 
2013-04-22 09:25:49 PM

Whatthefark: [

i34.tinypic.com ]

DONUTS!!1!
 
2013-04-22 09:26:25 PM
This is why I don't have a yard. Well, not really. I don't have a yard because I have absolutely no interest in having a yard. But it sounds good, doesn't it? I have a nice little fenced in patio, paved with brick. I sweep it a few times a year.

SurelyShirley: Finally had enough of all the nonsense of city life


Maybe it's the east coast, but I have  never seen a HOA within city borders. You generally don't get a HOA until you're out in the burbs. I saw a few city-ish HOAs when I visited Denver, but none in anything I'd call a "city" neighborhood. As a general rule, if you need a car to get groceries, you  probably don't live in a city (or you live too deep into the city such that you're in a 'food desert').
 
2013-04-22 09:28:37 PM
Obviously, this list does not apply to Council Bluffs, Iowa...
 
2013-04-22 09:29:16 PM
I have Garret Morris on my front lawn (summer only).
 
2013-04-22 09:30:22 PM

tonguedepressor:


Came here for the lawn jockey.
Leaving very satisfied.
Thank you good sir!
 
2013-04-22 09:31:26 PM
i237.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-22 09:32:18 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Ah yes, home "ownership", because it's "yours" and you can do what you want... uh huh. Explain that to me again, mortgage-slaves?


Usually, people like you that want to do "anything" they want are the first to complain when others do things that you do not like.....
 
2013-04-22 09:36:10 PM

t3knomanser: Maybe it's the east coast, but I have  never seen a HOA within city borders. You generally don't get a HOA until you're out in the burbs. I saw a few city-ish HOAs when I visited Denver, but none in anything I'd call a "city" neighborhood. As a general rule, if you need a car to get groceries, you  probably don't live in a city (or you live too deep into the city such that you're in a 'food desert').


The nutty HOA experiences were in SoCal. Some might refer to it as L.A. and OC Metro area, to me it's a city. Call it what you will, doesn't make a difference. It's crowded, noisy, busy. It's a city.
Yes, you'd get groceries, like everything else, by car. Not only because of the distance, but how else would you carry your stuff home?
 
2013-04-22 09:38:57 PM

SurelyShirley: Not only because of the distance, but how else would you carry your stuff home?


If you can't carry your groceries the block from the grocery store, you get a granny cart. If the grocery store is more than three blocks away, it's not a city. That's east coast logic, anyway.
 
2013-04-22 09:40:25 PM
I hate HOAS, but if your going to join one make sure you check what you want to do to your yard is permitted and it it seems borderline get it okayed first.  Same goes for city or county ordinances.

also No couches in yards or on porches period.
 
2013-04-22 09:41:36 PM

t3knomanser: SurelyShirley: Not only because of the distance, but how else would you carry your stuff home?

If you can't carry your groceries the block from the grocery store, you get a granny cart. If the grocery store is more than three blocks away, it's not a city. That's east coast logic, anyway.


Learned something new today.
Thank you, kind farker
 
2013-04-22 09:42:55 PM

SurelyShirley: I've lived in too many crowded and over regulated places where a flower pot in the wrong place or ivy that grew 6" over the fence would get you a stern wag of the finger from your friendly HOA brown shirt in no time.
Finally had enough of all the nonsense of city life and retreated deep into the woods. No complaints about too many howling dogs, a boat trailer parked in the driveway, a basketball hoop or the handful of picknick tables around the fire pit.

/Land of the free


It seems like overzealous HOAs are mostly a suburban thing.  I've lived most of my life in a city, a rather large one and people put all sorts of random shiat in their little postage stamp front yards.   Not too long ago someone made an eight foot white crane out of fabric and installed that in their front yard and nobody cared except to take pictures of it or make fun of them.  I've seen people grow vegetables (a bad idea in this soil if not done right), make shrines to whatever saint or god they worship, construct elaborate 'art' installations, set up a fire in a container in a double lot and hang around it drinking beer etc. and I've not seen much in the way of concern by the city unless it is unsafe to passerbys or is attracting rodents.

Whenever I hear stories about these HOAs, I just imagine watching their collective heads explode if they had to live by the guy in my old neighborhood who did this to his house (who sadly died in 2007).  Thankfully nobody around here seemed to care about his unique sense of exterior decoration and let him be.

www.wurlington-bros.com
 
2013-04-22 09:43:07 PM

ggecko: Quantum Apostrophe: Ah yes, home "ownership", because it's "yours" and you can do what you want... uh huh. Explain that to me again, mortgage-slaves?

Usually, people like you that want to do "anything" they want are the first to complain when others do things that you do not like.....


Who said I want to do "anything"? I'm just pointing out that home "ownership" isn't that great, and renting isn't that bad. I don't know anyone who owns who's satisfied, and home "owners" are usually the saddest, brokest people I know.

I have cash in my hands at the end of every year. Home owners have more poker chips every year.
 
2013-04-22 09:44:55 PM
I keep my tacky lawn art in the back yard where it amuses me and bothers no one but badly decorated yards are sort of a local art form. One of my area's less subtle displays:

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-22 09:48:34 PM

A Shambling Mound: I keep my tacky lawn art in the back yard where it amuses me and bothers no one but badly decorated yards are sort of a local art form. One of my area's less subtle displays:

[i.imgur.com image 514x385]


Love it. Humans should be free, not ants in a hive going to soul-crushing jobs to pay municipal and school taxes on tiny condos in a concrete jungle.
 
2013-04-22 09:55:42 PM
From the Whitefish Bay (the town that doesn't like book-sharing) municipal code:


All bicycles operated within the Village of Whitefish Bay are required to be licensed. The fee is $10.00, and the license does not expire.


What the bloody hell is the purpose of licensing bicycles ?
 
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