If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(KTVB Boise)   Worst female driver in the world vs. biggest douchebags in the world   (ktvb.com) divider line 28
    More: Fail, bike lanes  
•       •       •

23161 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2013 at 10:22 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-22 08:34:44 PM  
15 votes:
Subby, you had the beginnings of a good, multi-faceted troll here, but I'm afraid that, frankly, you blew it. Yes, you got the "biggest douchebags" reference in there for the bike riders, and that's going to cause a nice but somewhat predictable flare up between oblivious bike riders who think they own the road and waddling blubber cushions who couldn't ride half a mile if their life depended on it and are therefore jealous that they'll never be able to wear spandex without a very real risk of causing permanent blindness. But "worst female driver in the world"? Come on, is that supposed to enrage women or something? Being the "worst female driver" is only saying something about that one driver. It's not saying anything about female drivers in general. In fact, if you just take the words at their literal sense, it's actually not an insult at all. It takes the "worst female driver in the world" to do something like this? I guess all the rest of them must be pretty good drivers then, huh? At least good enough to not have this happen, anyway.

Now, let's look at this another way. What if she's not "the worst female driver in the world" but is rather a "typical female driver?" A fair representative, in other words, of all women drivers. Now  that would be saying something. And what if we just tweaked the overall tone of the headline, made it a question. People like headlines that are questions...it pulls them in, makes them want to click the link to see if the answer they've already shaped in their head fits the actual scenario. So, instead of "worst female driver in the world vs. the biggest douchebags in the world," maybe you'd have something like this:

What happens when a typical female driver meets the biggest douchebags on the road?"

or, for something even punchier and more direct:

Woman driver vs. douchebags. Who loses?

Lots of other possibilities, too. The main thing to remember is to not go overboard with the hyperbole. Lots of times, things are funnier when you present them as mundane. That's true even when you're talking about the sort of simpletons who live in Idaho.
2013-04-22 10:36:05 PM  
4 votes:
Don't they usually put a post in the middle of the entrances to stop that?
2013-04-22 07:57:06 PM  
4 votes:
Not shown: the bike lane entrance.

/lazy assholes
2013-04-22 10:28:32 PM  
3 votes:

lordargent: The driver was not cited.

The fark?!


They never showed her or gave her name, I'm willing to bet she was old as hell. Retirees get away with a lot of shiat.
2013-04-22 11:18:10 PM  
2 votes:
Some bikers, however, had trouble getting around the car.

You mean they had to wait until it was safe to pass? The same thing they see as the biggest threat to their safety from cars?

/Biker and driver. I hate cyclists who pass on the right as you're trying to turn a corner, pull out into traffic without yielding or looking, squeeze up beside you on the right so you have to pass them all over again etc. etc. They want all the convenience of being a bike and none of the responsibility of being a vehicle.
2013-04-22 10:54:42 PM  
2 votes:
Nice spacesuit, Lance.

media.ktvb.com
2013-04-22 10:49:51 PM  
2 votes:
Actually, I'd say that when they stick the bike lane is when cyclists are NOT being douchebags.

It's when they insist on being treated like regular road traffic but then break the rules of the road that they come off like douchebags.

Generally speaking, the way to tell if a person on a bike is an ass if by their clothing. Jeans & t-shirt? Normal bike commuter just trying not to get killed. Lycra or Spandex outfit? Douchebag.
2013-04-22 10:43:37 PM  
2 votes:
Do not understand. Installing one of these won't work, why?
farm3.staticflickr.com
2013-04-23 04:33:12 AM  
1 votes:

justoneznot: How about you just try submitting witty headlines yourself, that way you don't have to waste all that time critiquing others


So, your 3rd evar greenlit headline got 'critiqued' by Pocket Ninja, and you biatch about it? Fookin Lookshury. In my day when our links got greenlit we got the piss taken right out of us by Jon iz teh kewl,and we liked it.
2013-04-23 01:37:00 AM  
1 votes:
She had to drive on the little path for about a quarter of a mile or so before she even got to the bridge.  The images in the article show she almost made it to Government Island before she got stuck, so that's about a mile on the bridge.

At least she had a nice view:

i35.tinypic.com
2013-04-23 01:26:53 AM  
1 votes:
This was the last decision she faced before she got stuck.  Apparently "forward" seemed the right thing to do.

i34.tinypic.com
2013-04-23 01:22:01 AM  
1 votes:
At some point she saw this and thought "This looks legit.  I'll bet this is how people get from Washington to Oregon"

i37.tinypic.com
2013-04-23 01:19:18 AM  
1 votes:

Hollie Maea: DemDave: But even with all that help, I still can't figure out how a car gets on there. Maybe one of you will have better luck finding an entrance where a driver could get confused.

This picture shows where she got on the path.  Unfortunately there is no streetview for the road, but there is for the bike path (the road is just a little minor dead end road).  So this image is from the bike path, looking out towards the road that she entered the bike path from.


This time with the image resized so Fark's tender servers can handle it.

i33.tinypic.com
2013-04-23 12:40:09 AM  
1 votes:

BadReligion: AKA a Malibu with last generations body style, specifically made for fleets that want the cheapest mid sized sedan possible.


Those things were great. I bought one used dirt cheap from some company. It was two years old at the time, but had only about 10,000 miles on it. I drove the crap out of that car. Chevy makes some good utility cars.
2013-04-22 11:30:57 PM  
1 votes:

serial_crusher: Feral_and_Preposterous: serial_crusher: well done subby.

FTFA: He could not believe the driver was not cited

I'm right there with him.  Accidents happen but responsible people own up to their mistakes.

How is not being cited not "owning up" to your mistake? Should they have begged the police for a ticket? Do you think there's a big chance (now that they've gotten away with inconveniencing themselves so massively) they're really fired up to go do it again?

The next time she does this crap she's going to run somebody over.  I'd rather have her thinking twice as a result of that time the police gave her a ticket she rightfully deserved, than thinking once about the nice policeman who helped her out of her mistake.


LOL. Why don't you go find her and punch her in the twat? Surely that would make her even less likely to repeat the mistake in the future. Think of all the lives you'll save. You could be king of the drama queens.

I don't think a ticket will make her a better driver. If she's a normal human being the embarrassment will accomplish the same thing a ticket would. If she is senile or old or something, though, I do think that she should be tested to see if she should be driving at all.
2013-04-22 11:26:16 PM  
1 votes:

Outshined_One: ChiWhiteSox_56: jaytkay: We have a new experimental bike lane here in Chicago.

Two-way bike traffic on a one-way street.

With separate red & green traffic lights for bikes.

I think it's going to confuse the fark out of everybody - drivers, cyclists and pedestrians.

/ Cyclist

[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 480x638]

Well I'll be dipped. That's news to me!

They're doing it on Dearborn and on Franklin in the Loop for now.  Supposedly these lanes are going to expand into River North and the West Loop eventually.

Heaven help us when they start popping up on streets like Milwaukee, Ogden, and Elston.  I already want to open my door on 90% of the cyclists who use Milwaukee.


There's sounding fat, then there's sounding downright obese.
2013-04-22 11:17:44 PM  
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: lordargent: The driver was not cited.

The fark?!

They never showed her or gave her name, I'm willing to bet she was old as hell. Retirees get away with a lot of shiat.


Sure do, thanks to don't give a damn LEOs. My Mom drove around smashed regularly with a car full of little old ladies and pull the 'I'm confused' bit blocks from the house she lived in for 51 years. it took her having seizures and being found passed out in car on someones lawn for a cop to tell her 'your driving days are over' at age 82.

Don't think old women can't party. Mom and her grandma crew would play cards and drink hard alcohol mixers from mid-morning till whenever like they were 21. They used to get shiatfaced at casinos hundreds of miles away and drive home blotto too. Farking senior citizens: not all of them are in their right minds.
2013-04-22 11:16:19 PM  
1 votes:

Feral_and_Preposterous: serial_crusher: well done subby.

FTFA: He could not believe the driver was not cited

I'm right there with him.  Accidents happen but responsible people own up to their mistakes.

How is not being cited not "owning up" to your mistake? Should they have begged the police for a ticket? Do you think there's a big chance (now that they've gotten away with inconveniencing themselves so massively) they're really fired up to go do it again?


The next time she does this crap she's going to run somebody over.  I'd rather have her thinking twice as a result of that time the police gave her a ticket she rightfully deserved, than thinking once about the nice policeman who helped her out of her mistake.
2013-04-22 11:02:10 PM  
1 votes:

LumberJack: berylman: I hate to do this but she was driving a Pontiac Parisiennet?
/surely not right

You're right, that is incorrect. It's a simple Chevy Malibu, only reinforcing how ancient the driver must have been.



Not just a Malibu, but a Malibu Classic, AKA a Malibu with last generations body style, specifically made for fleets that want the cheapest mid sized sedan possible.
2013-04-22 10:53:26 PM  
1 votes:
"Racer Steve Baden came across the woman as he and a partner were crossing the bridge and called 911"

"Hello operator? There's a car in my bike lane and I can't get past it. Can you get the SWAT guys here?"
2013-04-22 10:44:09 PM  
1 votes:
He could not believe the driver was not cited, and that this was not the first time a driver had entered the bikepath from the Washington side. Safety procedures need to be changed on that end of the bridge, he said.

So in the same breath, this guy acknowledged that there is a procedural problem that has been at least partially responsible for this on more than one occasion, and implied that she should be punished for her mistake, regardless?
2013-04-22 10:40:39 PM  
1 votes:
Pathetic of them not to show where she turned onto the bike path from.  I chased it down on google maps and it doesn't appear to be signed as bikes only, but it doesn't look like the kind of road you should be turning down, either.  It looks like a service road or bike path.
2013-04-22 10:37:04 PM  
1 votes:
We have a new experimental bike lane here in Chicago.

Two-way bike traffic on a one-way street.

With separate red & green traffic lights for bikes.

I think it's going to confuse the fark out of everybody - drivers, cyclists and pedestrians.

/ Cyclist

lh3.googleusercontent.com
2013-04-22 10:36:22 PM  
1 votes:

max_pooper: doglover: lordargent: The driver was not cited.

The fark?!

No laws were broken.

I'm pretty sure operating a motor vehicle on a designated bike path is illegal in most states.


Plus I'm fairly certain they could have nailed her for distracted driving.
2013-04-22 10:35:08 PM  
1 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Subby, you had the beginnings of a good, multi-faceted troll here, but I'm afraid that, frankly, you blew it. Yes, you got the "biggest douchebags" reference in there for the bike riders, and that's going to cause a nice but somewhat predictable flare up between oblivious bike riders who think they own the road and waddling blubber cushions who couldn't ride half a mile if their life depended on it and are therefore jealous that they'll never be able to wear spandex without a very real risk of causing permanent blindness. But "worst female driver in the world"? Come on, is that supposed to enrage women or something? Being the "worst female driver" is only saying something about that one driver. It's not saying anything about female drivers in general. In fact, if you just take the words at their literal sense, it's actually not an insult at all. It takes the "worst female driver in the world" to do something like this? I guess all the rest of them must be pretty good drivers then, huh? At least good enough to not have this happen, anyway.

Now, let's look at this another way. What if she's not "the worst female driver in the world" but is rather a "typical female driver?" A fair representative, in other words, of all women drivers. Now  that would be saying something. And what if we just tweaked the overall tone of the headline, made it a question. People like headlines that are questions...it pulls them in, makes them want to click the link to see if the answer they've already shaped in their head fits the actual scenario. So, instead of "worst female driver in the world vs. the biggest douchebags in the world,"
maybe you'd have something like this:

What happens when a typical female driver meets the biggest douchebags on the road?"

or, for something even punchier and more direct:

Woman driver vs. douchebags. Who loses?

Lots of other possibilities, too. The main thing to remember is to not go overboard with the hyperbole. Lots of times, things are funnier when ...

2013-04-22 10:33:16 PM  
1 votes:

doglover: lordargent: The driver was not cited.

The fark?!

No laws were broken.


I'm pretty sure operating a motor vehicle on a designated bike path is illegal in most states.
2013-04-22 10:32:18 PM  
1 votes:

lordargent: The driver was not cited.

The fark?!


Pussy pass
2013-04-22 10:25:24 PM  
1 votes:
The driver was not cited.

The fark?!
 
Displayed 28 of 28 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report