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(KTVB Boise)   Worst female driver in the world vs. biggest douchebags in the world   (ktvb.com) divider line 173
    More: Fail, bike lanes  
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23137 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2013 at 10:22 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-23 12:30:36 AM
No,no,no!  Some glitch.  What I meant to say was, how about some jokes about "tv dinners" and how crappy we find them.
 
2013-04-23 12:30:45 AM

SpaceBison: I like how they put the entrance to the bike path right at the end of a cul-de-sac.
http://maps.google.com/?ll=45.604539,-122.555974&spn=0.000937,0.0009 27 &t=h&z=20


Wow, that is seriously screwed up.  It took me a little while to seven see where one started and the other ended.  At least paint some lines or something.
 
2013-04-23 12:40:09 AM

BadReligion: AKA a Malibu with last generations body style, specifically made for fleets that want the cheapest mid sized sedan possible.


Those things were great. I bought one used dirt cheap from some company. It was two years old at the time, but had only about 10,000 miles on it. I drove the crap out of that car. Chevy makes some good utility cars.
 
2013-04-23 01:06:13 AM

ThatGuyGreg: Not shown: the bike lane entrance.

/lazy assholes


I often ride that bridge.  I can assure you that it would take a massive amount of talent to end up there in a car.

/Another favorite for dumbass drivers around here is the light rail tunnel that goes under the zoo.
 
2013-04-23 01:10:44 AM
no one has said how she got on there in the local news.  I've been on that path and she had to be a special kind of stupid its really hard to get on to there from a regular road you have to be on a bike path for a ways
 
2013-04-23 01:17:28 AM

DemDave: But even with all that help, I still can't figure out how a car gets on there. Maybe one of you will have better luck finding an entrance where a driver could get confused.


This picture shows where she got on the path.  Unfortunately there is no streetview for the road, but there is for the bike path (the road is just a little minor dead end road).  So this image is from the bike path, looking out towards the road that she entered the bike path from.
 
2013-04-23 01:19:18 AM

Hollie Maea: DemDave: But even with all that help, I still can't figure out how a car gets on there. Maybe one of you will have better luck finding an entrance where a driver could get confused.

This picture shows where she got on the path.  Unfortunately there is no streetview for the road, but there is for the bike path (the road is just a little minor dead end road).  So this image is from the bike path, looking out towards the road that she entered the bike path from.


This time with the image resized so Fark's tender servers can handle it.

i33.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-23 01:20:32 AM

EmmaLou: Then again, he's Asian...so what else should I expect?


A small penis?
 
2013-04-23 01:22:01 AM
At some point she saw this and thought "This looks legit.  I'll bet this is how people get from Washington to Oregon"

i37.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-23 01:26:53 AM
This was the last decision she faced before she got stuck.  Apparently "forward" seemed the right thing to do.

i34.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-23 01:32:42 AM

Grave_Girl: max_pooper: doglover: lordargent: The driver was not cited.

The fark?!

No laws were broken.

I'm pretty sure operating a motor vehicle on a designated bike path is illegal in most states.

Plus I'm fairly certain they could have nailed her for distracted driving.


Drivers may do this a lot and she wasn't cited because of it.  It happens she was the one the reporter saw that day. Or the police may have felt that "All is Fair in Love and War." If some cyclists get a way with traffic violations that don't hurt anybody, why can't this car driver too? It sounds like the cyclists had no problem getting around her.
 
2013-04-23 01:33:20 AM

Hollie Maea: This was the last decision she faced before she got stuck.  Apparently "forward" seemed the right thing to do.


Give her a A+ for perseverance.
 
2013-04-23 01:37:00 AM
She had to drive on the little path for about a quarter of a mile or so before she even got to the bridge.  The images in the article show she almost made it to Government Island before she got stuck, so that's about a mile on the bridge.

At least she had a nice view:

i35.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-23 01:50:07 AM

China White Tea: He could not believe the driver was not cited, and that this was not the first time a driver had entered the bikepath from the Washington side. Safety procedures need to be changed on that end of the bridge, he said.

So in the same breath, this guy acknowledged that there is a procedural problem that has been at least partially responsible for this on more than one occasion, and implied that she should be punished for her mistake, regardless?


Like the headline says, "biggest douchebags in the world".
 
2013-04-23 02:05:51 AM
Hardly fair subby.  Danica is far from the worst driver.
 
2013-04-23 02:40:14 AM

Outshined_One: ChiWhiteSox_56: jaytkay: We have a new experimental bike lane here in Chicago.

Two-way bike traffic on a one-way street.

With separate red & green traffic lights for bikes.

I think it's going to confuse the fark out of everybody - drivers, cyclists and pedestrians.

/ Cyclist

[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 480x638]

Well I'll be dipped. That's news to me!

They're doing it on Dearborn and on Franklin in the Loop for now.  Supposedly these lanes are going to expand into River North and the West Loop eventually.

Heaven help us when they start popping up on streets like Milwaukee, Ogden, and Elston.  I already want to open my door on 90% of the cyclists who use Milwaukee.


We have that system in a few places around central London and it seems to work well, although sometimes cyclists heading towards each other end up jousting a bit. It is more confusing that sometimes you ride on the left of the bike lane and sometimes the right, which causes big problems turning at lights.

/on the train to London with my Dahon Curve D3 now, so getting a kick....
//no lycra
 
2013-04-23 02:52:09 AM

Pocket Ninja: Subby, you had the beginnings of a good, multi-faceted troll here, but I'm afraid that, frankly, you blew it. Yes, you got the "biggest douchebags" reference in there for the bike riders, and that's going to cause a nice but somewhat predictable flare up between bike riders who think own the road...


ftfy
 
2013-04-23 02:56:46 AM

darkjezter: That reminds me, I need to clean

TedDalton: Pocket Ninja: 

What happens when a typical female driver meets the biggest douchebags on the road?"


Well, since here in Humboldt County, they'll both be driving pickup trucks so not much. Why do you ask?
 
2013-04-23 03:00:24 AM

Fark Me To Tears: FTFA: Some bikers, however, had trouble getting around the car.

Ahhh... The irony...

/boo-f*cking-hoo


Right, because cyclists are notorious for parking their bicycles on the road way.

Apples and oranges dumbass.

WE ARE TRAFFIC. Deal with it asshole.
 
2013-04-23 03:17:14 AM

ZeroCorpse: Actually, I'd say that when they stick the bike lane is when cyclists are NOT being douchebags.

It's when they insist on being treated like regular road traffic but then break the rules of the road that they come off like douchebags.


I'm a cyclist who obeys traffic laws, and I laugh on the inside when I'm stopped at a red light and the motorist behind me waiting turn right looks sooo pissed off that I didn't run the red light so they could turn right on red.

/in a narrow lane
//in a wide lane I'll keep to the left side of the lane so they can make the turn
///nice cyclist wishing for nicer motorists
 
2013-04-23 03:17:37 AM

Pocket Ninja: Subby, you had the beginnings of a good, multi-faceted troll here, but I'm afraid that, frankly, you blew it. Yes, you got the "biggest douchebags" reference in there for the bike riders, and that's going to cause a nice but somewhat predictable flare up between oblivious bike riders who think they own the road and waddling blubber cushions who couldn't ride half a mile if their life depended on it and are therefore jealous that they'll never be able to wear spandex without a very real risk of causing permanent blindness. But "worst female driver in the world"? Come on, is that supposed to enrage women or something? Being the "worst female driver" is only saying something about that one driver. It's not saying anything about female drivers in general. In fact, if you just take the words at their literal sense, it's actually not an insult at all. It takes the "worst female driver in the world" to do something like this? I guess all the rest of them must be pretty good drivers then, huh? At least good enough to not have this happen, anyway.

Now, let's look at this another way. What if she's not "the worst female driver in the world" but is rather a "typical female driver?" A fair representative, in other words, of all women drivers. Now  that would be saying something. And what if we just tweaked the overall tone of the headline, made it a question. People like headlines that are questions...it pulls them in, makes them want to click the link to see if the answer they've already shaped in their head fits the actual scenario. So, instead of "worst female driver in the world vs. the biggest douchebags in the world," maybe you'd have something like this:

What happens when a typical female driver meets the biggest douchebags on the road?"

or, for something even punchier and more direct:

Woman driver vs. douchebags. Who loses?

Lots of other possibilities, too. The main thing to remember is to not go overboard with the hyperbole. Lots of times, things are funnier when ...


How about you just try submitting witty headlines yourself, that way you don't have to waste all that time critiquing others?
 
2013-04-23 04:21:58 AM

jaytkay: Two-way bike traffic on a one-way street.

With separate red & green traffic lights for bikes.


That's pretty horribly retarded. They obviously need a bigger committee to figure out what went wrong with the design that the first committee failed so hard at.

Pocket Ninja - Thanks for your presence. You are a ray of sunshine in my grey, miserable off day. :-))
 
2013-04-23 04:33:12 AM

justoneznot: How about you just try submitting witty headlines yourself, that way you don't have to waste all that time critiquing others


So, your 3rd evar greenlit headline got 'critiqued' by Pocket Ninja, and you biatch about it? Fookin Lookshury. In my day when our links got greenlit we got the piss taken right out of us by Jon iz teh kewl,and we liked it.
 
2013-04-23 04:43:05 AM
The reason why that bike lane on the Glen Jackson is big enough for a car is that the bridge was originally designed for a light rail line in the center. You'll see from the previous pictures in this thread that the inside shoulders are also quite wide.

/That should blow the minds of some Clark County residents.
 
2013-04-23 05:55:54 AM

justoneznot: How about you just try submitting witty headlines yourself, that way you don't have to waste all that time critiquing others?


Well, it is kind of a sport around here. Has been since before you joined the site, by the by.
 
2013-04-23 06:04:37 AM

serial_crusher: well done subby.

FTFA: He could not believe the driver was not cited

I'm right there with him.  Accidents happen but responsible people own up to their mistakes.


Maybe she did and that's why she wasn't cited.
 
2013-04-23 06:06:33 AM

libranoelrose: Hollie Maea: This was the last decision she faced before she got stuck.  Apparently "forward" seemed the right thing to do.

Give her a A+ for perseverance.


She HAS to be in her 90s and sweet as can be!
 
2013-04-23 06:46:26 AM
Looks like a WA license plate.
 
2013-04-23 07:03:31 AM
Oh gee. Is a car blocking your lane? Now you know how we feel, douchebags.
 
2013-04-23 07:45:34 AM
I thought John Fitzgerald Page lived in the upscale district of Buckhead in Atlanta, Georgia.
 
2013-04-23 07:53:05 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Nice spacesuit, Lance.

[media.ktvb.com image 600x800]


Nothing wrong with riding a bike. Playing dress up attention whore makes me wish she had plowed through a crowd of them at 60mph.
 
2013-04-23 07:55:23 AM
You know, when I saw subby's headline, which is clearly one of the worst ever, I thought to myself "gosh this thread is sure to suck as much as subby's headline".

But then along comes Pocket Ninja, who used the atrocity that is subby's headline as an opportunity for a teachable moment. Pocket Ninja, showing great patience in the face of what can only be described, and to put it kindly, as a disaster, managed to make something positive. He saw lemons and he made lemon aid. I guess it's true, everything does happen for a reason. Thanks Pocket Ninja.

And subby, use the shame you should be feeling right now to guide you to become a better person. And hopefully, at some point far in the future, maybe on your death bed as your life flashes before your eyes, you'll be able to forgive yourself for your anathema of a headline.

Peace out.
 
2013-04-23 07:57:28 AM
Sorry, subs.  The biggest douchebags in the world eschew the bike lanes so drivers can experience their awesomeness.
 
2013-04-23 08:03:46 AM

Rustybumperjack: I read the headline and immediately thought it was about Danica vs. the rest of the Nascar field.


This
 
2013-04-23 08:04:59 AM
One word: BOLLARDS!

WTF? Why is there not a bollard that would have crumpled that car's bumper at each entrance?
 
2013-04-23 08:08:37 AM
I'm disappointed that nobody has tried to blame this on a GPS device yet.
 
2013-04-23 08:43:30 AM

scottydoesntknow: jaytkay: We have a new experimental bike lane here in Chicago.

Two-way bike traffic on a one-way street.

With separate red & green traffic lights for bikes.

I think it's going to confuse the fark out of everybody - drivers, cyclists and pedestrians.

/ Cyclist

[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 480x638]

Well you can't make an omelette without cracking a few eggs...

That's pretty farked up though. Why would cyclists need separate lights?


To keep people from right turning into you.
 
2013-04-23 08:58:18 AM
Pocket Ninja: [excellent instructional material on proper trolling technique snipped for brevity] ...

That's true even when you're talking about the sort of simpletons who live in Idaho.

I see what you did there.
 
2013-04-23 10:52:11 AM

jaytkay: We have a new experimental bike lane here in Chicago.

Two-way bike traffic on a one-way street.

With separate red & green traffic lights for bikes.

I think it's going to confuse the fark out of everybody - drivers, cyclists and pedestrians.

/ Cyclist

[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 480x638]


We have a lane like that in Washington DC on 15th Street (near my house) and it works great.  Just give it a little time and people will figure it out.
 
2013-04-23 10:53:19 AM

TwowheelinTim: Fark Me To Tears: FTFA: Some bikers, however, had trouble getting around the car.

Ahhh... The irony...

/boo-f*cking-hoo

Right, because cyclists are notorious for parking their bicycles on the road way.

Apples and oranges dumbass.

WE ARE TRAFFIC. Deal with it asshole.


Or what, you'll beat me down? Key my car? Lie to cops I ran a red?
 
2013-04-23 12:43:48 PM
How are cyclists douchebags if they actually use the bike lane? They're usually riding right on the line separating car and bike lanes.
 
2013-04-23 03:00:24 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-23 06:00:25 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Nice spacesuit, Lance.

[media.ktvb.com image 600x800]


lolwut?
go home car, you're drunk

/lived in Portland all my life, never once got the bike path over the glen jackson confused with the highway
 
2013-04-23 06:10:05 PM

TwowheelinTim: Fark Me To Tears: FTFA: Some bikers, however, had trouble getting around the car.

Ahhh... The irony...

/boo-f*cking-hoo

Right, because cyclists are notorious for parking their bicycles on the road way.

Apples and oranges dumbass.

WE ARE TRAFFIC. Deal with it assholes.


ftfy
 
2013-04-23 06:13:21 PM

A Shambling Mound: Grave_Girl: max_pooper: doglover: lordargent:
blah blah blah

And that is so totally not the world's worst female driver. This one is worse, at least.



I had forgotten about the 1:10 min mark!
 
2013-04-23 10:28:48 PM
How about a metal pole or two in the middle to let people know "douche territory ahead"
 
2013-04-23 11:05:00 PM

Hollie Maea: At some point she saw this and thought "This looks legit.  I'll bet this is how people get from Washington to Oregon"

[i37.tinypic.com image 460x486]



At that point, it is entirely possible she figured out that she was in the wrong area but there is obviously no-where for her to do a 3 point turn (or even a 17 point 4 min turn as demonstrated in a previous posters link). Even worse is the fact that a lot of cars have such a steep slant to them that the front hood points into the ground but the ass end sticks way up in the air..... making them almost impossible for Anyone to back up into a parallel parking spot - or in her case, around a 90 degree turn hidden by overhanging leaves. So, she kept going for lack of a better alternative, hoping it would end in a similar residential street.

Having said that, there is no damn way she should have gotten past that chain link fence gate. That is painfully obvious.
 
2013-04-23 11:22:05 PM
Nice try, subby, but you're forgetting that nobody cares to know how to drive properly in the Portland metro, whether by car or by bike, so a correct headline was "Portland woman guilty of driving while Portlander [obvious]"
 
2013-04-23 11:22:48 PM

Amos Quito: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 512x371]


Talk about doing it wrong...
 
2013-04-23 11:59:52 PM

Lando Lincoln: Holy shiat, they have bike lanes on bridges out there?

Man. My area sucks for bike riders.


The lanes on both cross-Columbia bridges are _super_ narrow.   I 5 crosses the Columbia as four roadways, and I've been on all four.  The worst is the northbound cycleway, only five feet wide.  The newer, southbound span has a 7 foot lane, slightly more breathing room but still kind whiteknuckle on the blind hill thanks to not knowing for sure if someone's coming at you or not.  Being Portland, equal odds regardless of which of the four roadways you take on whether or not someone's going to ignore several DO NOT ENTER, WRONG WAY and traffic signals for the drawbridge facing the wrong direction and traffic coming at them in the same lane, and drive straight at you.  I 205 crosses the Columbia as 3 roadways, and despite cyclists getting the center roadway and therefore generally having a passing zone (there's a blind crest and a few sharp turns that have a no-passing stripe down the middle), the lanes are both substandard in width (at 5 feet, less than the 6 foot minimum for bicycle lanes facing opposing traffic), and 4 at lampposts (narrower than the narrowest allowed lane width for a bike lane bordering another bike lane traveling the same direction).  Plus no shoulders, no pullouts, high winds and lots of noise from the other two roadways just over the rail.  Continuing northbound is no picnic:  You land on a residential surface street, take a bicycle-only onramp onto WA 14 eastbound, and follow signage uphill through a poorly designed interchange to get back onto I 205 north.  Southbound is a bit easier as you don't have a hard climb except for the uphill bicycle-only cloverleaf off of westbound WA 14, and much less cross traffic.  Given the scorching meth problem in the Portland area, you get a little additional challenge that ground-level signage tends to get stolen, so you might miss the bike-only ramps if you intend to use them until after you pass them (and thus have to go around to the next exit...).  And we've already covered the fact that Portland-area drivers are idiots, so combine that with a NO MOTORIZED VEHICLES sign that got recycled for meth money, I can see how this woman got confused...though the aforementioned narrow lanes on the bridge approach and the bridge itself should have been a giveaway.
 
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