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(Telegraph)   Amazon's changed their search algorithm to exclude smut; "It's a pornocaust," said one online erotica author   (blogs.telegraph.co.uk) divider line 106
    More: Stupid, Amazon, search engines  
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5392 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2013 at 12:53 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-22 01:45:37 PM
kid_icarus:  Lady porn gives women unrealistic expectations about real life men. I should not be expected to maintain washboard abs, romance you, AND ravish you nightly with unbridled passion and ecstasy.

All porn does that.  In the case of porn directed towards men, it gives the expectation that all women will engage in lesbian sex, give blowjobs at the drop of a dime and open their legs for any man.  In the porn world all people are sluts.
 
2013-04-22 01:46:35 PM

K.B.O. Winston: I'm not sure how many people search on Amazon, accidentally get some porny results, and then buy the porn instead of what they were originally looking for.  This may be a tempest in a teacup, sales-wise.


Remember how kids used to complain that grandma bought Go-bots instead of Transformers?
You just made me think of an incredibly hilarious version of that.

"Thank you grandma, I've never seen 'Tit-tanic' before..."
"I thought maybe we could watch it together."
"Ummm.... not today grandma... It's... long? Yeah, it's really long."
 
2013-04-22 01:47:24 PM

anuran: "tentacle erotica"Showing 1 - 16 of 620 Results


I need to tighten the security on my NAS.
 
2013-04-22 01:47:27 PM

Latinwolf: kid_icarus:  Lady porn gives women unrealistic expectations about real life men. I should not be expected to maintain washboard abs, romance you, AND ravish you nightly with unbridled passion and ecstasy.

All porn does that.  In the case of porn directed towards men, it gives the expectation that all women will engage in lesbian sex, give blowjobs at the drop of a dime and open their legs for any man.  In the porn world all people are sluts.


So basically it's one giant Bonobo society.
 
2013-04-22 01:48:53 PM
Why is this erotica crap so popular when probably 99% of the women who read it would probably never be willing to do the things they read about  in the books?
 
2013-04-22 01:49:03 PM
I'm in the process of writing my first ladyporn book. Fifty Shades sold seventy million copies. Seventy million copies! It's horribly written, sexually infantile, and did I mention horribly written? But yeah, seventy million copies. It was the biggest wake-up call of my life when I realized how low the bar had been set in this genre (and just how wide the porn door was thrown open for stay-at-home moms). You know that voice in your head that - while you're writing - constantly edits and criticizes? You can completely ignore it while writing smut.

The expectations of quality are so low that you will trip over it when you write a coherent sentence.
 
2013-04-22 01:49:45 PM

Latinwolf: kid_icarus:  Lady porn gives women unrealistic expectations about real life men. I should not be expected to maintain washboard abs, romance you, AND ravish you nightly with unbridled passion and ecstasy.

All porn does that.  In the case of porn directed towards men, it gives the expectation that all women will engage in lesbian sex, give blowjobs at the drop of a dime and open their legs for any man.  In the porn world all people are sluts.


What if I've experienced all three of your prerequisites?

/Skills
 
2013-04-22 01:50:25 PM

abhorrent1: Why is this erotica crap so popular when probably 99% of the women who read it would probably never be willing to do the things they read about  in the books?


Because knowing SOMEONE is into something 1000x weirder makes you comfortable with your weirdness.
 
2013-04-22 01:54:03 PM

mike_d85: abhorrent1: Why is this erotica crap so popular when probably 99% of the women who read it would probably never be willing to do the things they read about  in the books?

Because knowing SOMEONE is into something 1000x weirder makes you comfortable with your weirdness.


I tell all my friends about me being a sexual freak. Guys think it's hilarious how honest I am... girls usually blush or think it's gross.

The grossed out girls are just jealous.

/Comfortable
 
2013-04-22 01:59:30 PM

mike_d85: abhorrent1: Why is this erotica crap so popular when probably 99% of the women who read it would probably never be willing to do the things they read about  in the books?

Because knowing SOMEONE is into something 1000x weirder makes you comfortable with your weirdness.


Why are action movies so popular when 99% of the men who see them aren't willing to be a loose cannon detective who fights giant, alien robots? It's escapism. Nobody wants their action movie to feature a cop who shoots a suspect and spends the rest of the movie with PTSD, crying, and no women want their porn to be vanilla missionary sex where the guy cums too quickly while thinking about somebody other than her, then rolls over and falls asleep.

/to be fair, somebody probably has a kink out there like that
 
2013-04-22 02:01:56 PM
d1zzy32: Latinwolf: kid_icarus:  Lady porn gives women unrealistic expectations about real life men. I should not be expected to maintain washboard abs, romance you, AND ravish you nightly with unbridled passion and ecstasy.
All porn does that.  In the case of porn directed towards men, it gives the expectation that all women will engage in lesbian sex, give blowjobs at the drop of a dime and open their legs for any man.  In the porn world all people are sluts.
What if I've experienced all three of your prerequisites?
/Skills


No, I'd say you were bullshiatting.  No man in existence has a 100% rate with the ladies and any man claiming this is a liar.
 
2013-04-22 02:03:00 PM

d1zzy32: The grossed out girls are just jealous.


I mean it's just a little bit of poo. It doesn't bite. What's the big deal?
 
2013-04-22 02:03:29 PM

rzrwiresunrise: kid_icarus: Lady porn gives women unrealistic expectations about real life men. I should not be expected to maintain washboard abs, romance you, AND ravish you nightly with unbridled passion and ecstasy.

All that after I get out of my firefighter uniform, put up my purple heart that I earned in the war, right next to the Daytona Cup I won just for you so I could prove I was more than just the secret heir to an oil fortune my father built from his castle in Scotland.


Are you an astronaut?
 
2013-04-22 02:04:20 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Why are action movies so popular when 99% of the men who see them aren't willing to be a loose cannon detective who fights giant, alien robots?


And can have a detailed conversation mere seconds after a firefight?

Seriously, directors. Guns are extremely loud. I can suspend disbelief for a movie but when guys are shooting one second and whispering to each other the next I want to just get up and walk out of the movie.
 
2013-04-22 02:06:18 PM
Also, this:

farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2013-04-22 02:09:09 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Why are action movies so popular when 99% of the men who see them aren't willing to be a loose cannon detective who fights giant, alien robots? It's escapism. Nobody wants their action movie to feature a cop who shoots a suspect and spends the rest of the movie with PTSD, crying, and no women want their porn to be vanilla missionary sex where the guy cums too quickly while thinking about somebody other than her, then rolls over and falls asleep.


Action movies are unrealistic and not something anyone can actually do.  The stuff in these books is easily doable if the women were willing. They're not. They think it's so hot and fantasize about it when they read it but just try and get them to actually try it.
 
2013-04-22 02:10:04 PM

Grables'Daughter: So, if they've excluded it from their search results, but are still selling it, then how can I find it?


It finds you.
 
2013-04-22 02:10:50 PM

Endive Wombat: When Google did away with a significant amount of porn in the image search, I was happy.  This too makes me happy.  I am not a prude, but when I search something relatively innocuous, I should not get hardcore porn.


There's a thing called safe search, maybe you've heard of it?
 
2013-04-22 02:21:04 PM

Evil Mackerel: rzrwiresunrise: kid_icarus: Lady porn gives women unrealistic expectations about real life men. I should not be expected to maintain washboard abs, romance you, AND ravish you nightly with unbridled passion and ecstasy.

All that after I get out of my firefighter uniform, put up my purple heart that I earned in the war, right next to the Daytona Cup I won just for you so I could prove I was more than just the secret heir to an oil fortune my father built from his castle in Scotland.

Are you an astronaut?


I was accepted to the program, but had to save a litter of kittens from a burning building I passed while riding my Harley in my kilt without a helmet, my long hair trailing in the wind.
 
2013-04-22 02:27:25 PM

FriarReb98: JohnAnnArbor: "Pornocaust" could be a good band name, depending on the band.

Some sort of funk/soul/RHCP tribute sort of band, I'd imagine?


I was thinking Lords of Acid tribute band.
 
2013-04-22 02:28:07 PM
For some reason when I look up "t*ts", 7th Heaven shows up.
 
2013-04-22 02:48:00 PM
Great, now can Amazon filter out all the recommendations it gives me for $2.99 books from multi-book series that are obviously just self-published turds.
 
2013-04-22 02:49:09 PM
This must be an Amazon.uk thing.  I did a couple of searches just now; let's just say I'll have to edit my browsing history unless I want to see some unsuitable recommendations for a while.
 
2013-04-22 02:52:41 PM

abhorrent1: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Why are action movies so popular when 99% of the men who see them aren't willing to be a loose cannon detective who fights giant, alien robots? It's escapism. Nobody wants their action movie to feature a cop who shoots a suspect and spends the rest of the movie with PTSD, crying, and no women want their porn to be vanilla missionary sex where the guy cums too quickly while thinking about somebody other than her, then rolls over and falls asleep.

Action movies are unrealistic and not something anyone can actually do.  The stuff in these books is easily doable if the women were willing. They're not. They think it's so hot and fantasize about it when they read it but just try and get them to actually try it.


...with you.  Something tells me if you were the handsome yet mysterious billionaire Earl of Gray or whatever, promising a life free of bills and filled with travel to exotic destinations, they'd be a little more open with their backdoor.
 
2013-04-22 03:02:39 PM

Grables'Daughter: So, if they've excluded it from their search results, but are still selling it, then how can I find it?


Someone hotlinked a Hitachi device from Amazon in a fark thread, and apparently I was logged into to Amazon that day.  I had fun 'other items you might like' suggestions for the next week or so.  I'm sure if you are deliberate enough they will come up.

/First they came for the porn
//then they lost interest and fell asleep.
 
2013-04-22 03:07:21 PM

FedExPope: Endive Wombat: When Google did away with a significant amount of porn in the image search, I was happy.  This too makes me happy.  I am not a prude, but when I search something relatively innocuous, I should not get hardcore porn.

There's a thing called safe search, maybe you've heard of it?


Even with Safe Search on, you would still get NSFW results.  Yeah, you are not going to be fired if you are searching something innocent like "Cisco IP Phone" and somewhere in the images pops up with an image of a woman with a phone in her vag...but I would rather not see that shiat at work.  You understand?
 
2013-04-22 03:11:22 PM
Why is it that they don't have a "View Adult Products" setting (defaulted to opt out) associated with an account?  That way the prudes who shop on Amazon wouldn't be offended by what they found, but Amazon could still sell some very lucrative products.
 
2013-04-22 03:22:47 PM

TheGogmagog: Grables'Daughter: So, if they've excluded it from their search results, but are still selling it, then how can I find it?

Someone hotlinked a Hitachi device from Amazon in a fark thread, and apparently I was logged into to Amazon that day.  I had fun 'other items you might like' suggestions for the next week or so.  I'm sure if you are deliberate enough they will come up.

/First they came for the porn
//then they lost interest and fell asleep.


The Hitachi Magic Wand might be the best purchase you could ever make from Amazon. That thing is magic. Highly recommended.

Endive Wombat: FedExPope: Endive Wombat: When Google did away with a significant amount of porn in the image search, I was happy.  This too makes me happy.  I am not a prude, but when I search something relatively innocuous, I should not get hardcore porn.

There's a thing called safe search, maybe you've heard of it?

Even with Safe Search on, you would still get NSFW results.  Yeah, you are not going to be fired if you are searching something innocent like "Cisco IP Phone" and somewhere in the images pops up with an image of a woman with a phone in her vag...but I would rather not see that shiat at work.  You understand?


I, too, had that problem. I used to play a game at work (and at home on occasion) where I'd type in a seemingly innocuous word and then set an over/under on how many results into GIS before I got porn.
 
2013-04-22 03:27:40 PM

Handsome B. Wonderful: Great, now can Amazon filter out all the recommendations it gives me for $2.99 books from multi-book series that are obviously just self-published turds.


If you enjoyed this Fark link, you might also enjoy Zombies of The Dead; Book 1 of the Ned Cromancer series.

/not all self published books are turds
//but a lot of them are
 
2013-04-22 03:31:12 PM

Treygreen13: TheGogmagog: Grables'Daughter: So, if they've excluded it from their search results, but are still selling it, then how can I find it?

Someone hotlinked a Hitachi device from Amazon in a fark thread, and apparently I was logged into to Amazon that day.  I had fun 'other items you might like' suggestions for the next week or so.  I'm sure if you are deliberate enough they will come up.

/First they came for the porn
//then they lost interest and fell asleep.

The Hitachi Magic Wand might be the best purchase you could ever make from Amazon. That thing is magic. Highly recommended.

Endive Wombat: FedExPope: Endive Wombat: When Google did away with a significant amount of porn in the image search, I was happy.  This too makes me happy.  I am not a prude, but when I search something relatively innocuous, I should not get hardcore porn.

There's a thing called safe search, maybe you've heard of it?

Even with Safe Search on, you would still get NSFW results.  Yeah, you are not going to be fired if you are searching something innocent like "Cisco IP Phone" and somewhere in the images pops up with an image of a woman with a phone in her vag...but I would rather not see that shiat at work.  You understand?

I, too, had that problem. I used to play a game at work (and at home on occasion) where I'd type in a seemingly innocuous word and then set an over/under on how many results into GIS before I got porn.


we played that at the last company i worked at on a 'goof off evening' where they had beer/movies and video games going. we put up a board and took bets and everything.  we had one guy who was freakishly good at calling them.

/hitting the number of the first porn result on the button got you 10x payout. he walked out with a lot of money.
 
2013-04-22 03:38:04 PM

Grables'Daughter: kid_icarus: Lady porn gives women unrealistic expectations about real life men. I should not be expected to maintain washboard abs, romance you, AND ravish you nightly with unbridled passion and ecstasy.

I'll take two of those three.


So that means you can help me with the abs, right?
 
2013-04-22 03:46:43 PM

FedExPope: Endive Wombat: When Google did away with a significant amount of porn in the image search, I was happy.  This too makes me happy.  I am not a prude, but when I search something relatively innocuous, I should not get hardcore porn.

There's a thing called safe search, maybe you've heard of it?


There was no safesearch at first on GIS, which is what he was talking about. Now that it's default, things are much better for business users.

The problem here is that Amazon.co.uk turned on safesearch without a button to turn it off. It'll probably be activated as soon as any bugs are worked out over there.
 
2013-04-22 04:01:02 PM

stevarooni: Why is it that they don't have a "View Adult Products" setting (defaulted to opt out) associated with an account?  That way the prudes who shop on Amazon wouldn't be offended by what they found, but Amazon could still sell some very lucrative products.


So very much this. Pretty much everyone else does it this way.
 
2013-04-22 04:01:07 PM
"Ooohh..! Oh, this Amazon search is particularly naughty! Lusty, baudy, deliciously risque! I am ravished to say, bordering on an indecent, saucy, randy, suggestively off-color tale of rrrrribaldry! Isn't it?"

i229.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-22 04:05:02 PM
Well, weev's AFK at MDCB so I'm guessing it's not him getting revenge again for not being able to advertise on the Internet for "a heroine to do the paronym of this sentence's lexical subject."

One might imagine that, just like last time, it was what Amazon themselves described as a "hamfisted" attempt to protect the kiddies.
 
2013-04-22 04:11:36 PM
So, did Google fix their SafeSearch or what? I've set it as low as I figure it can go, and it still feels like it filters out a lot of stuff Bing doesn't.
 
2013-04-22 04:29:53 PM

JWideman: stevarooni: Why is it that they don't have a "View Adult Products" setting (defaulted to opt out) associated with an account?  That way the prudes who shop on Amazon wouldn't be offended by what they found, but Amazon could still sell some very lucrative products.

So very much this. Pretty much everyone else does it this way.


Heck, IMDB even has an adult filter (defaulted on), now!
 
2013-04-22 04:35:15 PM

kid_icarus: Lady porn gives women unrealistic expectations about real life men. I should not be expected to maintain washboard abs, romance you, AND ravish you nightly with unbridled passion and ecstasy.


Shut up and rub my feet.
 
2013-04-22 04:36:17 PM
ThighsofGlory: kid_icarus: Lady porn gives women unrealistic expectations about real life men. I should not be expected to maintain washboard abs, romance you, AND ravish you nightly with unbridled passion and ecstasy.

Shut up and rub my feet.


I brought you a beer and a sammich, sir.
 
2013-04-22 04:36:45 PM
Does this that when i look up "Harry Potter" next time the first book that comes up wont be "Hermione's Heiny"?


/true story
//slashy!
///like heinies!
 
2013-04-22 05:00:12 PM

rzrwiresunrise: kid_icarus: Lady porn gives women unrealistic expectations about real life men. I should not be expected to maintain washboard abs, romance you, AND ravish you nightly with unbridled passion and ecstasy.

All that after I get out of my firefighter uniform, put up my purple heart that I earned in the war, right next to the Daytona Cup I won just for you so I could prove I was more than just the secret heir to an oil fortune my father built from his castle in Scotland.


Wait...wait...tell me more, please.
 
2013-04-22 05:14:27 PM

Grables'Daughter: kid_icarus: Lady porn gives women unrealistic expectations about real life men. I should not be expected to maintain washboard abs, romance you, AND ravish you nightly with unbridled passion and ecstasy.

I'll take two of those three.


I'd take one of those three

/#3
//need some action
 
2013-04-22 05:16:17 PM

Gergesa: I have sometimes contemplated writing a hardcore story and seeing if it sells on a site like this(price it as 2.99 or something.)  If Fifty Shades of Grey can sell well despite deplorable writing perhaps it is a surprisingly lucrative market where a story involving gang bang on prom night in a church with the football team will do well.


Mmmm... No. Kinda boring, church aside. Now if it were priests or monks (nuns are a bit too cliched), that'd sell just fine.
 
2013-04-22 05:19:00 PM

yet_another_wumpus: They aren't just segregating it? There's a reason it comes up so much: it sells. From what I understand it pretty much keeps the second hand book business going. I can only hope that Barnes & Nobel jump in and push the porn (and manage to keep brick and mortar bookstores alive).

My understanding is that book porn is like movie porn. You could divide the publishing industry into 20 genres of porn and non-porn and the non-porn will still only contain relatively tiny array of titles. All that competition, and one of the best science fiction writers Lois McMaster Bujold is still trying to break into porn (I'm guessing she is going more for the 50 shades of grey level than the "buy the lot unseen" mentioned above).


Augh, what?? Bujold writing porn?? Please tell me this is not a joke. She would write *amazing* erotica. Oh please be true please be true please be true.
 
2013-04-22 05:23:04 PM

abhorrent1: Why is this erotica crap so popular when probably 99% of the women who read it would probably never be willing to do the things they read about  in the books?


They're willing.  Just not with you.
 
2013-04-22 06:48:15 PM
Jeff Bezos has to keep those horny women in check.
 
2013-04-22 06:57:07 PM

Bruxellensis: Grables'Daughter: So, if they've excluded it from their search results, but are still selling it, then how can I find it?

It finds you.


To quote Grosse Pointe Blank:  "If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there. "
 
2013-04-22 07:54:00 PM

staplermofo: Hey guys, I'm trying to get my book published.  This is a huge setback.  EIP if you can help.  I'm not interested in money, I just want it out where people can appreciate it.


dude. . .
 
2013-04-22 09:01:05 PM

vudukungfu: dude. . .


I've been working on some more, I could send it if you're interested.
 
2013-04-22 09:49:07 PM

staplermofo: vudukungfu: dude. . .

I've been working on some more, I could send it if you're interested.


It's a thousand pages, give or take a few,
I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I can make it longer if you like the style,
I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
 
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