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(Des Moines Register)   Police arrest man after 30 hour standoff. It was the most exciting thing to happen in Iowa since the Baconfest   (desmoinesregister.com) divider line 21
    More: Dumbass, Iowa, Reed, Elvis impersonator, Jason Halifax, SWAT team  
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2082 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2013 at 11:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



21 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-04-22 11:37:25 AM  
Subby fail.  Elvis impersonator trifecta in play.
 
2013-04-22 11:40:10 AM  
You want excitement?

Move to Boston....
 
2013-04-22 11:44:20 AM  
There was that one time we got lost in a corn maze.
 
2013-04-22 11:47:09 AM  
FTFA:  where Reed lives with his mother.

Fark handle?
 
2013-04-22 11:49:20 AM  
.... what is this Baconfest of which you speak? .....

*crickets*

/Saturday mornings, my place
 
2013-04-22 11:50:13 AM  

Infobahn: Subby fail.  Elvis impersonator trifecta in play.


Also the guy's middle name is Wayne.
 
2013-04-22 11:50:47 AM  

Infobahn: Subby fail.  Elvis impersonator trifecta in play.


I was going to say that myself. Elvis is now on the watch list, he'll never be able to come back.
 
2013-04-22 11:55:59 AM  
just imagine a rotting Elvis shopping for fresh fruit.
You can't 'cause
Elvis is dead
Elvis is dead
Elvis is dead
Elvis is dead
 
2013-04-22 11:59:06 AM  
Actually, the most impressive thing that ever happened in Iowa was that gigantic meteor that crashed there some 74 million years ago.  It happened in Manson.  And there is no visible evidence of it because millions of years of passing glaciers filled the crater right to the top and grated it as smooth as a tabletop.
 
2013-04-22 12:01:45 PM  
So, militia? Cult? Sovereignmilitantcult? *RTA* None of the above, what the Fark?
 
2013-04-22 12:03:39 PM  
Wait...there is a BACONFEST ???
 
2013-04-22 12:11:03 PM  
I'm gonna need a change of underwear.
 
2013-04-22 12:59:18 PM  
I was in Des Moines for a job interview (which I didn't get) and the tour guide around town was telling me about the local craft breweries, music venues, fine sining, and sports teams. He made it sound unique. Motherfarker you just described 95% of this country. I'm from the Midwest, I know what the Midwest got. I cannot imagine spending my life in Des Moines, bacon or no. Bacon's good, but not that good.
 
2013-04-22 01:04:37 PM  
Baconfest is only the best day ever, held annually in Atlanta. Kevin Bacon showed up last year.

http://dadsgarage.com/Shows/Season-18/Special-Events/BaconFest-2013. as px

/Tasty Bacon
//Not Kevin
///OK, Kevin
 
2013-04-22 01:06:43 PM  

Mawson of the Antarctic: I was in Des Moines for a job interview (which I didn't get) and the tour guide around town was telling me about the local craft breweries, music venues, fine sining, and sports teams. He made it sound unique. Motherfarker you just described 95% of this country. I'm from the Midwest, I know what the Midwest got. I cannot imagine spending my life in Des Moines, bacon or no. Bacon's good, but not that good.


You cannot imagine living in Des Moines because a tour guide portrayed common urban amenities as unique?
 
2013-04-22 01:30:21 PM  

demonocracy21: You cannot imagine living in Des Moines because a tour guide portrayed common urban amenities as unique?


Let me FTFY

He cannot imagine living in Des Moines.

Also, a tour guide portrayed common urban amenities as unique.
 
2013-04-22 02:26:46 PM  
the worst part about des moines is not its suburban blandness...it's how residents perceive themselves as iowa's only sophisticated urbanites. this ignores the gritty, sleazy charm of the cities along both the missouri and mississippi rivers as well as the artisanal meth produced in ottumwa and ft. dodge trailer parks. let alone the smell of wet cornflakes that permeates cedar rapids and patchouli drenched People's Republic of Johnson County.

/counciltucky for the win, dawg
 
2013-04-22 03:17:22 PM  
Apparently, this is a traveling road-show thing.

http://baconfestchicago.com/recap2013

/do they need a roadie?
 
2013-04-22 03:28:38 PM  

Omahawg: the worst part about des moines is not its suburban blandness...it's how residents perceive themselves as iowa's only sophisticated urbanites. this ignores the gritty, sleazy charm of the cities along both the missouri and mississippi rivers as well as the artisanal meth produced in ottumwa and ft. dodge trailer parks. let alone the smell of wet cornflakes that permeates cedar rapids and patchouli drenched People's Republic of Johnson County.

/counciltucky for the win, dawg


Exactly. I was warned by a friend of that very mentality. I was bummed because Iowa City sounded a lot cooler (being a younger college town). Des Moines was industrial and desolate save for big insurance and bank towers. Plus the snow came down harder than what I had ever been a part of. I saw no wins in that situation.
 
2013-04-22 03:56:07 PM  
At least they weren't in Gatlin, Nebraska.
 
2013-04-23 11:41:42 AM  

Omahawg: the worst part about des moines is not its suburban blandness...it's how residents perceive themselves as iowa's only sophisticated urbanites. this ignores the gritty, sleazy charm of the cities along both the missouri and mississippi rivers as well as the artisanal meth produced in ottumwa and ft. dodge trailer parks. let alone the smell of wet cornflakes that permeates cedar rapids and patchouli drenched People's Republic of Johnson County.

/counciltucky for the win, dawg


You... have clearly spent some time in Iowa.
 
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