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(Salon)   This just in: men have trouble understanding women   (salon.com) divider line 288
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6715 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Apr 2013 at 9:55 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-21 12:00:59 PM
birdbrain777
Weaver, I concur, she wants you, and if you wait too long you will miss out.

I disagree. I think she's a cocktease and enjoys playing with you.

Although there's merit in the idea that she wants to be farkbuddies. Clear that up with her, Weaver. And if that's what she wants and if you're up for that kind of relationship then you should invite her over to spend the night. Otherwise ask her to that that shiat to hotornot.com or whatever the equivalent is these days.

Being a farkbuddy is like renting a really awesome apartment. A young person's game, a fun experience, but it hurts when it's time to move on (which comes oh so fast).
 
2013-04-21 12:03:39 PM

fluffy2097: We just take you at your word.

<man>"are you ok?"
<woman, clearly upset>"I'm fine."
<man>.oO(I guess she wants some privacy) Ok, see you later.
<woman>WHY DIDN'T HE DO ANYTHING FOR ME!!?!?!?!?!?!


Reverse that though, if a woman, or another man, asks a crying man if he's ok, and he says he's fine, that's it, end of story. No bringing up how dumb or insensitive or callous they were a week later, a month later, a year later.
 
2013-04-21 12:06:30 PM
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-21 12:07:39 PM

Bedstead Polisher: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: You never once sent him a message that said "Hey missed you yesterday. What happened?" You would have either gotten blown off again (which is an answer in its own way) or you could be consoling him in bed over the tragic loss of his pet guinea pig, who tragically died in a skydiving accident on Sunday. Next time you run into him, just ask. It'll put your mind at ease and prevent you from idly reliving this experience every so often for the rest of your life as women are wont to do.

Good point. We work together (different departments) so we see each other often but rarely converse without people present. I do need to just get over it and ask what's up. At least to answer the question, so I will get over it. He did text me to wish me a happy birthday two weeks after he blew me off and I had to fight the "Oh, so you DO still have my number" response. I need to stop being attracted to guys who give me mixed signals.


He's not that into you, but he doesn't want to burn any bridges.
 
2013-04-21 12:07:42 PM
Wow, only one person called out this repeat thread.

Anyway, men understand women perfectly.  However, men don't understand that women hate to be understood logically because it makes it obvious how their emotionally derived opinions are often simply WRONG.  No one likes to be wrong.
 
2013-04-21 12:09:03 PM
Just wait until you have to deal with someone who has BPD... They dial it all the way up to 11!
 
2013-04-21 12:13:13 PM
i38.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-21 12:13:51 PM
Sorry I didn't understand your feeling honey. Here, take this and buy something at the mall.
ak8.picdn.net
 
2013-04-21 12:14:19 PM
I think man evolved rather nice.

He no longer clubs them and drags her by the hair so the box won't fill with sand.
 
2013-04-21 12:14:39 PM
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-04-21 12:16:11 PM

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: A major flaw with this study is that all of the test subjects were male. How well would women do reading men?


i37.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-21 12:16:24 PM

finnished: Just wait until you have to deal with someone who has BPD... They dial it all the way up to 11!


My uncle married late and his wife has diagnosed BPD (that she hid from him of course) and it has basically ruined him.  He has to sneak around to talk to his family and friends and she constantly threatens him with horrible things like hurting herself and the kids.  She basically owns him like a slave.

He's only with her for his kids.  Her mom has the same kind of affliction and her husband is nothing but a shell of a human.  It's so sad.
 
2013-04-21 12:18:47 PM

neenerist: albatros183: would like a word.

Darwin was 20 years dead before she was born.


/Facepalm

1.5/10
 
2013-04-21 12:19:00 PM
You see women talk in code that men cannot understand due to the misogynist aspect of human society. When a woman does speak freely she is called a biatch or worse. When a woman is sexually free she is called a slut or worse. Therefore, men will never understand women until a woman can be on equal terms as men in society.

I have a headache means I do not want sex right now or you do it so poorly I would prefer a vibrator and pretend Brad Pit is screwing me while Angelina Jolie films us, or when a woman claims she is unsure in a business setting she just does not want to make men feel like they are stupid and have small a small penis.

Or women and men are just strange.

/I have no idea

/DNRTFA

/wish women would keep wearing yoga pants and no bras

/FNORD
 
2013-04-21 12:23:01 PM

finnished: Just wait until you have to deal with someone who has BPD... They dial it all the way up to 11!


Still peeking out from under the sofa.  *shudder*
 
2013-04-21 12:24:08 PM

neenerist: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: A major flaw with this study is that all of the test subjects were male. How well would women do reading men?


I love that pic so much.

CSB: My brother and have been using "bike won't start, I wonder why" as code for "currently experiencing minor but frustrating relationship problems and the woman's in earshot" for the past few years - throughout his divorce and subsequent dating.

He's since actually bought a motorcycle, which made that signal hilariously confusing last time he used it.

/it needed a new spark plug
 
2013-04-21 12:24:27 PM

albatros183: /Facepalm

1.5/10


The concept of evolution was already deeply ingrained into Western society and suffused popular culture and philosophy long before her first degree. Better?  You're very hard to read.
 
2013-04-21 12:26:35 PM

Garble: ...or women have a hard time articulating to to men.


FTFY
 
2013-04-21 12:28:36 PM

Jeep2011: You see women talk in code that men cannot understand due to the misogynist aspect of human society. When a woman does speak freely she is called a biatch or worse.


Is it me, or has "free" become code for "copping to the lowest level of self control with not only impunity, but a cheer leading section"?
 
2013-04-21 12:32:44 PM

bunner: Jeep2011: You see women talk in code that men cannot understand due to the misogynist aspect of human society. When a woman does speak freely she is called a biatch or worse.

Is it me, or has "free" become code for "copping to the lowest level of self control with not only impunity, but a cheer leading section"?


There's also an implied freedom from any repercussions or criticism resulting from it.
 
2013-04-21 12:33:45 PM
Honestly, I like to think I understood men, until I met Mr Kiwi. He's not into sports and distracting him with sex doesn't work that well. He's actually the complicated one in our relationship- stems from childhood and ex-girlfriend issues. So we have trouble communicating sometimes because he won't budge on certain things and I'm, well, I'll say it- pregnant. Which makes me scatterbrained and overly emotional.

However, I DO hate the chicks who say they're fine but really want reassurance or something. That pisses me off. I don't do that- but I am guilty of other typical woman behaviors at the moment so I'll shut up for now.
 
2013-04-21 12:37:59 PM

neenerist: albatros183: /Facepalm

1.5/10

The concept of evolution was already deeply ingrained into Western society and suffused popular culture and philosophy long before her first degree. Better?  You're very hard to read.


Ok you want to argue, citation needed since there was massive opposition, and I am not arguing that she was somehow pivotal to the debate in a political sense, just that she did groundbreaking work in evolutionary genetics and was a woman.

what are you arguing that evolution is not true?, or that because he was a he it's somehow a function of patriarchy?.

Evolution is a fact it is verifiable it has yet to be falsified, and she made significant contribution to it's body of knowledge.

Seriously your arguing that "The concept of evolution was already deeply ingrained into Western society and suffused popular culture and philosophy long before her first degree ..."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scopes_Trial

that would have been in the middle of her degree FTF Wiki "...and therefore her MA and PhD-earned in 1925 and 1927..."

Maybe I am feeding troll, but your problem is what?
 
2013-04-21 12:38:55 PM

bunner: Jeep2011: You see women talk in code that men cannot understand due to the misogynist aspect of human society. When a woman does speak freely she is called a biatch or worse.

Is it me, or has "free" become code for "copping to the lowest level of self control with not only impunity, but a cheer leading section"?


No that was not what I was talking about. But yes I understand your view. This is more about women all ways having to tiptoe when trying to be strong...but I grew up in the deep south so my view has biases.
 
2013-04-21 12:40:08 PM
So far, afaict, the gist of what passes for feminism these days is basically, "we still get a free ride, but you have to drive to where WE  want to go and you pay for the gas."  And that's sad, because feminism, as on the original label was long overdue and necessary.
 
2013-04-21 12:42:38 PM

Jeep2011: You see women talk in code that men cannot understand due to the misogynist aspect of human society. When a woman does speak freely she is called a biatch or worse. When a woman is sexually free she is called a slut or worse. Therefore, men will never understand women until a woman can be on equal terms as men in society.


Perhaps that's so, but it quickly becomes cyclical.  Women can't really be on equal terms until they stop being afraid to speak their minds.  When someone has to be coaxed and encouraged to even voice an opinion, of course they won't be treated as equals of those who offer them freely.  People in the real world have neither the time nor the inclination for that kind of thing.  Similarly, the label of "biatch" for doing so is going to stick around until that behavior becomes perceived as normal.  I've heard women complain that there's not a male equivalent to "biatch" because the behavior is expected of men.  The solution, it seems to me, is to MAKE it the expected behavior for women, by acting straightforward speaking your mind without apology.  Make damn sure people know that's EXACTLY what they can expect from you.

I've heard this complaint many times, but it always comes with the idea that men still have to be the impetus for change.  That just won't happen.  Take a lesson from the civil rights movement:  Equality is a right, but it's not a gift.  You need to step up and claim it.  The people in charge won't change on their own, you need to step up and tell them "This is how it's going to be from now on.  You got that, prick?"
 
2013-04-21 12:44:09 PM

bunner: So far, afaict, the gist of what passes for feminism these days is basically, "we still get a free ride, but you have to drive to where WE  want to go and you pay for the gas."  And that's sad, because feminism, as on the original label was long overdue and necessary.


I HATE THIS. I have angry feminist friends, and they're all "campaign for equal wages!" And stuff of that nature. I asked my friend one time if that meant she intended to get her own doors and buy him the meal on the first date. Her serious answer was "that's the man's job." I wanted to punch her. You can't have equality in all things and then get special treatment, you slag.
 
2013-04-21 12:45:35 PM

kiwimoogle84: Honestly, I like to think I understood men, until I met Mr Kiwi. He's not into sports and distracting him with sex doesn't work that well. He's actually the complicated one in our relationship- stems from childhood and ex-girlfriend issues. So we have trouble communicating sometimes because he won't budge on certain things and I'm, well, I'll say it- pregnant. Which makes me scatterbrained and overly emotional.

However, I DO hate the chicks who say they're fine but really want reassurance or something. That pisses me off. I don't do that- but I am guilty of other typical woman behaviors at the moment so I'll shut up for now.


I recommend demanding Pickle, kiwi, steak ice cream, should smooth things over.
 
2013-04-21 12:47:27 PM

Last Man on Earth: Jeep2011: You see women talk in code that men cannot understand due to the misogynist aspect of human society. When a woman does speak freely she is called a biatch or worse. When a woman is sexually free she is called a slut or worse. Therefore, men will never understand women until a woman can be on equal terms as men in society.

Perhaps that's so, but it quickly becomes cyclical.  Women can't really be on equal terms until they stop being afraid to speak their minds.  When someone has to be coaxed and encouraged to even voice an opinion, of course they won't be treated as equals of those who offer them freely.  People in the real world have neither the time nor the inclination for that kind of thing.  Similarly, the label of "biatch" for doing so is going to stick around until that behavior becomes perceived as normal.  I've heard women complain that there's not a male equivalent to "biatch" because the behavior is expected of men.  The solution, it seems to me, is to MAKE it the expected behavior for women, by acting straightforward speaking your mind without apology.  Make damn sure people know that's EXACTLY what they can expect from you.

I've heard this complaint many times, but it always comes with the idea that men still have to be the impetus for change.  That just won't happen.  Take a lesson from the civil rights movement:  Equality is a right, but it's not a gift.  You need to step up and claim it.  The people in charge won't change on their own, you need to step up and tell them "This is how it's going to be from now on.  You got that, prick?"


Your words are wonderful.
 
2013-04-21 12:48:35 PM

kiwimoogle84: I have angry feminist friends


I can't see why.  Or how they are friends.  A lot of women don't like men.  I'm fine with that.  I don't  like beets.  I have dealt with this by not eating them.  I do not, however, go around blowing piss and whine at beet farmers.
 
2013-04-21 12:48:37 PM

albatros183: kiwimoogle84: Honestly, I like to think I understood men, until I met Mr Kiwi. He's not into sports and distracting him with sex doesn't work that well. He's actually the complicated one in our relationship- stems from childhood and ex-girlfriend issues. So we have trouble communicating sometimes because he won't budge on certain things and I'm, well, I'll say it- pregnant. Which makes me scatterbrained and overly emotional.

However, I DO hate the chicks who say they're fine but really want reassurance or something. That pisses me off. I don't do that- but I am guilty of other typical woman behaviors at the moment so I'll shut up for now.

I recommend demanding Pickle, kiwi, steak ice cream, should smooth things over.


I'm confused by your statement. Is the steak for me or for him? We like our steak cooked differently. Pickles are gross, but you DID have me at ice cream.
 
2013-04-21 12:49:55 PM

Last Man on Earth: The people in charge won't change on their own, you need to step up and tell them "This is how it's going to be from now on.  You got that, prick?"


So, the solution is to become the problem with a more fabulous outfit?
 
2013-04-21 12:53:02 PM

bunner: kiwimoogle84: I have angry feminist friends

I can't see why.  Or how they are friends.  A lot of women don't like men.  I'm fine with that.  I don't  like beets.  I have dealt with this by not eating them.  I do not, however, go around blowing piss and whine at beet farmers.


Because they're not like that 100% of the time, just sometimes and then I have to wait until the angry tirade is over and they become a rational human being again, or we change the topic. And the one in particular I'm thinking of likes men, she's just a complicated person in general. We are nerd, anime, video game and karaoke friends- none of those require our politics to align.

I'm not friends with people based on their political platform. I love people who run the spectrum from uber conservative to liberal as hell. So we'll all always disagree about something but they have other redeeming qualities, and that's why we get along.
 
2013-04-21 12:53:17 PM
News Flash #2 , women don't understand other women's emotions either , so there , also how hard is it to understand the never ending negative mindset of women and in all honestly who would want to.
 
2013-04-21 12:53:53 PM

albatros183: Maybe I am feeding troll, but your problem is what?


No need to limit the options to simple dualism, you may also have comprehension issues:

Evolution: a concept devised and popularized by men ...

   By what twisted reasoning is your example a counter to that when evolution was even showing up in Three Stooges shorts as her career was taking off? Weigh facts instead of internet social expectations.
 
2013-04-21 12:54:32 PM

kiwimoogle84: albatros183: kiwimoogle84: Honestly, I like to think I understood men, until I met Mr Kiwi. He's not into sports and distracting him with sex doesn't work that well. He's actually the complicated one in our relationship- stems from childhood and ex-girlfriend issues. So we have trouble communicating sometimes because he won't budge on certain things and I'm, well, I'll say it- pregnant. Which makes me scatterbrained and overly emotional.

However, I DO hate the chicks who say they're fine but really want reassurance or something. That pisses me off. I don't do that- but I am guilty of other typical woman behaviors at the moment so I'll shut up for now.

I recommend demanding Pickle, kiwi, steak ice cream, should smooth things over.

I'm confused by your statement. Is the steak for me or for him? We like our steak cooked differently. Pickles are gross, but you DID have me at ice cream.


you missed my double entente.

/Never mind been drinking since 8 so....
 
2013-04-21 12:56:34 PM

kiwimoogle84: Because they're not like that 100% of the time, just sometimes and then I have to wait until the angry tirade is over and they become a rational human being again, or we change the topic.


You're a braver man than I and profoundly more forgiving.  I am, admittedly, a lethal, brass plated sonofab*tch about people who try and ill use me.  God bless.
 
2013-04-21 12:57:47 PM

bunner: kiwimoogle84: Because they're not like that 100% of the time, just sometimes and then I have to wait until the angry tirade is over and they become a rational human being again, or we change the topic.

You're a braver man than I and profoundly more forgiving.  I am, admittedly, a lethal, brass plated sonofab*tch about people who try and ill use me.  God bless.


*shrug* lord knows why people put up with me either.
 
2013-04-21 12:58:41 PM
I think women who are intelligent, wear yoga pants and no bras, are perfectly understandable. But hey that is just the crowd I roll in.

\some levity?
/Women who trust you will be understood
/Same as men
/If you do not understand someone they may not trust you
/ or dey da stupid
 
2013-04-21 12:59:29 PM

neenerist: albatros183: Maybe I am feeding troll, but your problem is what?

No need to limit the options to simple dualism, you may also have comprehension issues:

Evolution: a concept devised and popularized by men ...

   By what twisted reasoning is your example a counter to that when evolution was even showing up in Three Stooges shorts as her career was taking off? Weigh facts instead of internet social expectations.


OK last time, I give you a chance to articulate WTF you are talking about.

WTF are you talking about, either you have completely misunderstood me or your off meds.

Make an argument ot STFU.

/three stooges really?
 
2013-04-21 01:01:22 PM

Last Man on Earth: Jeep2011: You see women talk in code that men cannot understand due to the misogynist aspect of human society. When a woman does speak freely she is called a biatch or worse. When a woman is sexually free she is called a slut or worse. Therefore, men will never understand women until a woman can be on equal terms as men in society.

Perhaps that's so, but it quickly becomes cyclical.  Women can't really be on equal terms until they stop being afraid to speak their minds.  When someone has to be coaxed and encouraged to even voice an opinion, of course they won't be treated as equals of those who offer them freely.  People in the real world have neither the time nor the inclination for that kind of thing.  Similarly, the label of "biatch" for doing so is going to stick around until that behavior becomes perceived as normal.  I've heard women complain that there's not a male equivalent to "biatch" because the behavior is expected of men.  The solution, it seems to me, is to MAKE it the expected behavior for women, by acting straightforward speaking your mind without apology.  Make damn sure people know that's EXACTLY what they can expect from you.

I've heard this complaint many times, but it always comes with the idea that men still have to be the impetus for change.  That just won't happen.  Take a lesson from the civil rights movement:  Equality is a right, but it's not a gift.  You need to step up and claim it.  The people in charge won't change on their own, you need to step up and tell them "This is how it's going to be from now on.  You got that, prick?"


There's one key point you're missing. There's a HUGE difference between an assertive, ambitious, confident woman and a "biatch". People don't consider women to be biatches because they're assertive and direct; they consider them to be biatches because they're, well, biatches. The difference usually boils down to self-confidence. I honestly don't know any man who would regard a woman who spoke their mind directly and assertively to be a "biatch".
 
2013-04-21 01:02:38 PM

Jeep2011: I think women who are intelligent, wear yoga pants and no bras, are perfectly understandable. But hey that is just the crowd I roll in.

\some levity?
/Women who trust you will be understood
/Same as men
/If you do not understand someone they may not trust you
/ or dey da stupid


Some women are far too well endowed to not wear a bra, genius. This is the second time you've mentioned this and it's not like women can go around dressed like that all the time. Especially not if they have jobs or school or lives outside of fulfilling your shallow fantasies.

Just sayin'.
 
2013-04-21 01:03:43 PM
Guys?

It's simple.

Sometimes you just have to say those three little words.  Sometimes those words are 'I love you'.  Sometimes those words are 'hit the bricks'.

It works both ways and anybody who doesn't know which are applicable when has probably spent an inordinate amount of time indoors.
 
2013-04-21 01:05:54 PM

bunner: Guys?

It's simple.

Sometimes you just have to say those three little words.  Sometimes those words are 'I love you'.  Sometimes those words are 'hit the bricks'.

It works both ways and anybody who doesn't know which are applicable when has probably spent an inordinate amount of time indoors.


The words I usually use are "It's not gonna suck itself". Perhaps your words would get me into less trouble.
 
2013-04-21 01:06:05 PM

kiwimoogle84: Jeep2011: I think women who are intelligent, wear yoga pants and no bras, are perfectly understandable. But hey that is just the crowd I roll in.

\some levity?
/Women who trust you will be understood
/Same as men
/If you do not understand someone they may not trust you
/ or dey da stupid

Some women are far too well endowed to not wear a bra, genius. This is the second time you've mentioned this and it's not like women can go around dressed like that all the time. Especially not if they have jobs or school or lives outside of fulfilling your shallow fantasies.

Just sayin'.


Ya wayching me? Second time? Funny I do not remember.
 
2013-04-21 01:06:57 PM
Men are used to waking up as the same person every day.  Their internal balances don't vary nearly as much as women's.  The idea that a woman reserves the right to change her mind is because women are different people on different days, especially young women who aren't as used to dealing with their hormonal changes.  Men need to be flexible in dealing with women, don't expect consistency, especially emotionally.
 
2013-04-21 01:07:38 PM
Constipated British sleuth.
 
2013-04-21 01:09:39 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: The idea that a woman reserves the right to change her mind is because women are different people on different days,


Oddly, this is not only convenient as all get out, but in men, is called "clinically gorilla sh*t loony".   :  )
 
2013-04-21 01:09:41 PM
I don't want to understand women. Women understand women, and they all hate each other.
 
2013-04-21 01:10:34 PM

Jeep2011: You see women talk in code that men cannot understand due to the misogynist aspect of human society. When a woman does speak freely she is called a biatch or worse. When a woman is sexually free she is called a slut or worse. Therefore, men will never understand women until a woman can be on equal terms as men in society.

I have a headache means I do not want sex right now or you do it so poorly I would prefer a vibrator and pretend Brad Pit is screwing me while Angelina Jolie films us, or when a woman claims she is unsure in a business setting she just does not want to make men feel like they are stupid and have small a small penis.

Or women and men are just strange.

/I have no idea

/DNRTFA

/wish women would keep wearing yoga pants and no bras

/FNORD


See above. It was literally five minutes apart which was why I noticed it. I actually read the comments in the thread.
 
2013-04-21 01:11:12 PM

CaptainFatass: Constipated British sleuth.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/constipation1 .s html

I don't personally have this problem but its an interesting google
 
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