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(National Review)   Prime-time TV causes workplace hostility, teenage girls can only get pregnant through statutory rape, liberals don't consider Madonna to be slutty, Sandra Fluke wanted taxpayer-funded birth control, and other things Republicans actually believe   (nationalreview.com) divider line 65
    More: Dumbass, Sandra Fluke, Republican, Eliot Spitzer, tobacco smoking, Kermit Gosnell, gun deaths, morning-after pills, Mayor of Chicago  
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5953 clicks; posted to Politics » on 19 Apr 2013 at 6:26 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-19 05:02:23 PM
9 votes:
I hear they actually believe that there's a man in the sky who watches over everything they do, and if they act according to some half-baked, self-serving set of rules the invisible sky man gave to another man who didn't know how to ask for directions, when they die they will go to a magical sky land and live on clouds with winged midgets who play harps and get everything they ever wanted. But, if they act in a manner contrary to the sky man's rules, they will go to a dark, smelly place full of fire, and be sodomized with hot pokers by by a red guy with a pointy tail.

And don't get me started on how they also believe sky man had a son who became a zombie.
2013-04-19 06:26:15 PM
7 votes:
"TV says that we should love and accept Mexicans and homosexuals, but my gay landscaper Miguel won't even look me in the eyes while I suck him off."
2013-04-19 05:30:43 PM
7 votes:
Liberal scienticians say cigarettes are bad for you, but they won't even let me punch my wife in the face if I catch her smoking.
2013-04-19 07:06:39 PM
6 votes:

John Buck 41: TerminalEchoes: Um, Sandra Fluke DID want tax payer-funded birth control.

That was my understanding as well.



imageshack.us
2013-04-19 07:04:15 PM
6 votes:

Craptastic: unfortunate conditions of the hoo-hoo.


This will be the new title for my memoirs.
2013-04-19 07:02:13 PM
6 votes:
Goddamn it, I am so farking sick of half this farking world being so farking eager to tell me how farked everything is at every goddamn opportunity. These farking people who completely lose their shiat every time the goddamn pattern on their paper towels changes. "Ahhhhh everything is terrible all the time and it's all your fault because you don't do the same things your great-grandparents did AHHHHHHHHHH!" Fark you all you worthless farks! Just farking die already. If everything was like it was 100 years ago you'd be dead of an infection already and we wouldn't have to listen to you carry on like a goddamn mental patient. I don't farking care what you think you worthless shiatstain. Farking shut your hole, plop your damn ass down on your couch and watch Pat and Vanna turn the letters and go to bed at 7pm and let your farking brain wither and die a bit more because you're so goddamn afraid of having an original thought in it.
2013-04-19 05:21:56 PM
5 votes:
They make me take off my shoes at the airport, but if I take off my shoes at a nice restaurant, it is frowned upon.
2013-04-19 06:04:43 PM
4 votes:
Ah, for the good old days where bosses could spank their secretaries, but ankles were covered up on tv.
2013-04-19 11:21:38 PM
3 votes:

beb004: Heard of cat-folk?


images3.wikia.nocookie.net

Why yes i have heard of cat folk
2013-04-19 08:15:45 PM
3 votes:

John Buck 41: TerminalEchoes: Um, Sandra Fluke DID want tax payer-funded birth control.

That was my understanding as well.


How did it feel when you realized you were on the same intellectual level as the dude in TFA?
2013-04-19 07:12:55 PM
3 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: I hear they actually believe that there's a man in the sky who watches over everything they do, and if they act according to some half-baked, self-serving set of rules the invisible sky man gave to another man who didn't know how to ask for directions, when they die they will go to a magical sky land and live on clouds with winged midgets who play harps and get everything they ever wanted. But, if they act in a manner contrary to the sky man's rules, they will go to a dark, smelly place full of fire, and be sodomized with hot pokers by by a red guy with a pointy tail.

And don't get me started on how they also believe sky man had a son who became a zombie.


Oh it gets better.

That guy (I think his name is Yeah-Weigh or something) was the one who made the dark and smelly place in the first place, and one of his rules is that you have to love him.

He's a yandere - he loves you, but if you don't love him back he'll have you sodomized with hot pokers for all eternity in a torture chamber he himself built for exactly that purpose.

/some of his other rules include the prohibition of bacon cheeseburgers and cotton-poly blends
2013-04-19 06:45:51 PM
3 votes:
A boss who calls an employee "honey" might face accusations of fostering a hostile work environment, yet a television producer whose program shows an 18-year-old having sex does not. Many colleges offer courses on lurid themes from masturbation to prostitution, even as campus sexual-harassment suits over hurtful language are at an all-time high.

Young people are learning that masturbation is ok but we can't even sexually harass our secretaries! What kind of madness is this?!
2013-04-19 05:03:08 PM
3 votes:
c9.nrostatic.com
"Why is it that consenting adults can have, watch, and learn about sex, yet sexual harassment and rape is illegal? Such hypocrisy!"
2013-04-19 04:08:47 PM
3 votes:
There's a lot of stuff in this article that reads like liberal satire of conservatives.

But legal cigarette smoking is now seen as a corporate-sponsored, uncool, and dirty habit that leads to long-term health costs for society at large - in a way homegrown, hip, and mostly illegal pot smoking apparently does not.

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

"The man you trusted wasn't Wavy Gravy at all! And all this time, I've been smoking harmless tobacco!"
2013-04-20 12:44:21 PM
2 votes:

pxlboy: sigdiamond2000: There's a lot of stuff in this article that reads like liberal satire of conservatives.

But legal cigarette smoking is now seen as a corporate-sponsored, uncool, and dirty habit that leads to long-term health costs for society at large - in a way homegrown, hip, and mostly illegal pot smoking apparently does not.

[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 259x194]

"The man you trusted wasn't Wavy Gravy at all! And all this time, I've been smoking harmless tobacco!"

False equivalency.

Even the most ardent stoner isn't going to smoke 20 - 40 joints in a day.


i1136.photobucket.com
2013-04-20 01:23:10 AM
2 votes:

BSABSVR: TerminalEchoes: To me, she was bemoaning the fact that she had to shell out three thousand dollars for her own birth control.

To me, she was shooting patriarchy hating knives straight from her vagina.  For I am  both aggrieved and unable to comprehend either the written or spoken word.


"Fluke's Vagina and the Patriarchy-Hating Knives" is the name of my underground prog rock band.
2013-04-19 11:27:41 PM
2 votes:

randomjsa: socialized medicine


Oogeta boogeta boogeta!
2013-04-19 11:00:11 PM
2 votes:

spongeboob: Lionel Mandrake: cman: GOP: insane folk
Dems: cowardice folk

That's interesting.  It seems to me the GOP folk are the cowards.  Gays, Mexicans, Muslims, death panels, gun grabbers...those guys are always get wound up over some imagined threat.

Science tends to agree with you
Peering inside the brain with MRI scans, researchers at University College London found that self-described conservative students had a larger amygdala than liberals. The amygdala is an almond-shaped structure deep in the brain that is active during states of fear and anxiety.


Pffftt!!!  "Science?" That atheist fraud tells me that we move in circles around the sun, and have been doing so for longer than 6000 years...I don't know about you, but I didn't come out of no monkey's butt!  Halleluiah!!
2013-04-19 08:22:11 PM
2 votes:
Pregnancy is a patriarchal social disease of oppression.  Prevented by birth control and cured by abortion.  This is what Democrats actually believe.
2013-04-19 07:24:50 PM
2 votes:

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Craptastic: unfortunate conditions of the hoo-hoo.

This will be the new title for my memoirs.


I'm flattered yet uncomfortable.
2013-04-19 06:33:13 PM
2 votes:
"I regularly see babies trading stocks during commercials, but I'm told that insider is trading is illegal among adults. BALDERDASH!"
2013-04-19 06:17:24 PM
2 votes:
GOP: insane folk
Dems: cowardice folk
Libertarians: stubbon assholes that refuse to compromise folk
Greens: self-righteous folk
Socialists: obsessive folk
Constitution Party: beyond insane folk
Neo-Whig: naive

Well, thats my opinion, anyways
2013-04-19 05:19:24 PM
2 votes:

Lionel Mandrake: Was there a point to all that?


It's an entire list wherein each paragraph consists of two things that have nothing to do with each other.
2013-04-19 05:12:53 PM
2 votes:

NewportBarGuy: [i36.tinypic.com image 480x360]

"I'm a military expert who never spent a day in uniform. RESPECT MY OPINION!"


I think his focus is ancient warfare.  It's hard to find people who actively took part in a phalanx or a cohort.
2013-04-19 05:09:55 PM
2 votes:
i36.tinypic.com

"I'm a military expert who never spent a day in uniform. RESPECT MY OPINION!"
2013-04-19 05:02:31 PM
2 votes:
FTA: "A boss who calls an employee "honey" might face accusations of fostering a hostile work environment, yet a television producer whose program shows an 18-year-old having sex does not. "

I don't even know how a boss being inappropriate is somehow compared to an 18-year-old (legal adult, over age of consent) having sex on TV.  That one is strange.

: "But if vast numbers of girls younger than 16 need after-sex options to prevent unwanted pregnancies, why isn't there a flood of statutory-rape charges being lodged against older teenagers for having consensual relations with younger girls?"

Because there's a chance these girls are having sex with boys their own ages? Just for starters....

And the strangest of them all is a bit long, but he's lamenting the days when  leaders could openly have affairs (with women of all ages) and nobody cared.

Someone forgot to take his medicine today.
2013-04-19 03:32:45 PM
2 votes:

Honest Bender: What about 18 and 19 year old teenage girls?


They are whores and cause our premiums to go up. Didn't you get the memo?
2013-04-21 01:18:29 AM
1 votes:
Christ, what a Republican.
2013-04-20 12:59:53 PM
1 votes:

Uh Oh Chongo Danger Island!: Pregnancy is a patriarchal social disease of oppression.  Prevented by birth control and cured by abortion.  This is what Democrats actually believe.


HAHA

It's funny because you copied the form of "This is what Republicans actually believe" and used it in your own right-wing version of humor.

HAHAHAHA

Unfortunately for you, Cargo Cult rituals still don't bring cargo
2013-04-20 12:53:17 PM
1 votes:
I thought this article was the worst collection of inane false equivalencies humanly possible... and then I read the comment section.
2013-04-20 10:07:24 AM
1 votes:

Lionel Mandrake: cman: GOP: insane folk
Dems: cowardice folk

That's interesting.  It seems to me the GOP folk are the cowards.  Gays, Mexicans, Muslims, death panels, gun grabbers...those guys are always get wound up over some imagined threat.


they have guns, silly. you can't be a coward if you have guns.
2013-04-20 06:41:08 AM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com

Mr. Hanson, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent textual vomit were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
2013-04-20 05:37:51 AM
1 votes:
"And how is it that a Negroe can walk around with his trousers hanging down to his knees, and yet when I flip him a quarter and tell him to shine my shoes, somehow I am the bad guy."
2013-04-20 01:27:23 AM
1 votes:

Alphax: The local NBC affiliate here in St. Louis was advertising their upcoming exclusive interview with Todd Akin today.. ugh..


I honestly can't imagine why anyone would interview Todd Akin, much less advertise it.  Unless they're actually going to give a good interview and ask questions like:  "You cost Republicans a guaranteed Senate seat due solely to your inability to not say stupid, ignorant, and offensive things.   What do you think will happen to you if the rank and file members of your party ever realize this?"
2013-04-20 01:24:33 AM
1 votes:
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.
2013-04-20 01:18:10 AM
1 votes:

TerminalEchoes: To me, she was bemoaning the fact that she had to shell out three thousand dollars for her own birth control.


To me, she was shooting patriarchy hating knives straight from her vagina.  For I am  both aggrieved and unable to comprehend either the written or spoken word.
2013-04-20 12:46:21 AM
1 votes:
i.qkme.me
2013-04-20 12:30:11 AM
1 votes:

Mithiwithi: Dimensio: Or, perhaps, the problem is mentally unstable individuals having access to weapons and not the cosmetic appearance of the weapons to which they have access

How would you propose to solve that problem?


School prayer.
2013-04-19 11:23:48 PM
1 votes:
What's wrong being slutty?  I love sluts.   They put out.  Everybody likes that.
2013-04-19 10:42:45 PM
1 votes:

serpent_sky: FTA: "A boss who calls an employee "honey" might face accusations of fostering a hostile work environment, yet a television producer whose program shows an 18-year-old having sex does not. "


Hey what tv program actually shows an 18 y/o having sex, and does it stream over Netflix?

Research purposes
2013-04-19 10:39:05 PM
1 votes:
Dear Republicans,

You guys might want to shut up for a while and pay attention to how normal people talk or think.  I know learning is difficult and scary.  But, this is a safe place.

Thanks,
America
2013-04-19 09:00:18 PM
1 votes:

John Buck 41: Sgt Otter: John Buck 41: TerminalEchoes: Um, Sandra Fluke DID want tax payer-funded birth control.

That was my understanding as well.

How did it feel when you realized you were on the same intellectual level as the dude in TFA?

I misunderstood what she said/wanted. Get the f*ck over it; I know I will.


It's my fault for not quoting the relevant segment of her testimony.
2013-04-19 08:57:28 PM
1 votes:
You know, now would be an excellent time for either  John Buck 41or  TerminalEchoesto come back and defend their positions that Fluke was demanding government coverage of contraception, despite considerable evidence to the contrary.

Can I offer anyone some tea while we wait?
2013-04-19 08:41:59 PM
1 votes:

Uh Oh Chongo Danger Island!: Pregnancy is a patriarchal social disease of oppression.  Prevented by birth control and cured by abortion.  This is what Democrats actually believe.


Put the word "Unwanted" at the beginning of that statement and you start sharing a zip code with reality.
2013-04-19 08:28:45 PM
1 votes:

VictoryCabal: In this thread: We see who read what Fluke actually said and who let the (right wing) media tell them what she said.


But Fox News said that Fluke was literally going to steal food out of my kid's mouths and sell it for birth control so that she could continue to be a rampaging whore-beast. Why would they lie to me?!
2013-04-19 08:25:04 PM
1 votes:
In this thread: We see who read what Fluke actually said and who let the (right wing) media tell them what she said.
2013-04-19 08:25:00 PM
1 votes:
Reading that felt like my eyes got kicked in their balls.
2013-04-19 07:39:18 PM
1 votes:

Karac: TerminalEchoes: Um, Sandra Fluke DID want tax payer-funded birth control.

No, she didn't want the university she went to school at to be able to remove contraception from the health insurance SHE paid for.


Forget it he's rolling.
2013-04-19 07:31:58 PM
1 votes:
Fellow Farkers,

I'm posting as WorldWideImp.  Its fun and I highly recommend it.
2013-04-19 07:24:18 PM
1 votes:

phritz: As far as I can tell, he believes that sperm only becomes active on a man's 18th birthday, because otherwise this paragraph makes absolutely no farking sense.


It's not like republicans are big on sex ed.  I can certainly understand his confusion.
2013-04-19 07:21:27 PM
1 votes:
I'm still struggling with this paragraph:

A federal judge in New York recently ruled that the so-called morning-after birth-control pill must be made available to all "women" regardless of age or parental consent, and without a prescription. The judge determined that it was unfair for those under 16 to be denied access to such emergency contraceptives. But if vast numbers of girls younger than 16 need after-sex options to prevent unwanted pregnancies, why isn't there a flood of statutory-rape charges being lodged against older teenagers for having consensual relations with younger girls?

As far as I can tell, he believes that sperm only becomes active on a man's 18th birthday, because otherwise this paragraph makes absolutely no farking sense.
2013-04-19 07:07:04 PM
1 votes:
Prime-time TV causes workplace hostility

This is true.

I'm sick of you farks arguing about glee during lunch and then refusing to work next to each other later on.
2013-04-19 07:01:00 PM
1 votes:

TerminalEchoes: Um, Sandra Fluke DID want tax payer-funded birth control.


Uh...No.

She was speaking of behalf of birth control being denied on insurance plans in cases where that is the prescribed medication to control other issues such as polyps and other unfortunate conditions of the hoo-hoo.
2013-04-19 06:44:37 PM
1 votes:

ThatGuyGreg: 80s/90s Madonna, or now Madonna?

This is important.


I think today's Madonna since he mentioned her fake crucifixion stunt.

/You don't matter anymore Madonna, go away.
2013-04-19 06:44:14 PM
1 votes:
I thought, from the headline, that the article was going to be sourcing quotes said by Republicans and then perhaps construed a bit farther than intended, or perhaps taken out of context. Or something, presenting Republicans in a very... bad light.

...somehow, I didn't think it would be a summery of the goddamn article/op-ed.

I guess telling me what it is is TOO SUBTLE FOR ME
2013-04-19 06:41:29 PM
1 votes:

Sock Ruh Tease: [c9.nrostatic.com image 160x160]
"Why is it that consenting adults can have, watch, and learn about sex, yet sexual harassment and rape is illegal? Such hypocrisy!"


Came here to say this.
2013-04-19 06:37:20 PM
1 votes:

Sock Ruh Tease: [c9.nrostatic.com image 160x160]
"Why is it that consenting adults can have, watch, and learn about sex, yet sexual harassment and rape is illegal? Such hypocrisy!"


I have nothing to add. Done in... (counts) thirteen.
2013-04-19 06:36:00 PM
1 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: Ah, for the good old days where bosses could spank their secretaries, but ankles were covered up on tv.


Go on...
2013-04-19 06:21:26 PM
1 votes:

cman: GOP: insane folk
Dems: cowardice folk


That's interesting.  It seems to me the GOP folk are the cowards.  Gays, Mexicans, Muslims, death panels, gun grabbers...those guys are always get wound up over some imagined threat.
2013-04-19 05:17:38 PM
1 votes:

Lionel Mandrake: Was there a point to all that?


I think this was the point:

www.globalnerdy.com
2013-04-19 05:15:55 PM
1 votes:

Lionel Mandrake: I think his focus is ancient warfare. It's hard to find people who actively took part in a phalanx or a cohort.


Is their a particular maneuver I can employ to dislodge the Dorito from my esophagus?
2013-04-19 05:04:20 PM
1 votes:

vernonFL: That might have been the worst article I've ever read.


It's definitely Top 5 all-time.

It's almost life-affirming it's so bad.
2013-04-19 04:03:24 PM
1 votes:

sigdiamond2000: Wow.

This is...something else.

This needs to be greenlit.


Vote for it, I did. I love tripe.
2013-04-19 04:00:39 PM
1 votes:
Wow.

This is...something else.

This needs to be greenlit.
2013-04-19 03:10:06 PM
1 votes:
I have a friend who worked at the Hoover Institution. He's about as retarded as this guy.
 
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