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(TMZ) NewsFlash Breaking news from TMZ: Kim Kardashian is now divorced   (tmz.com ) divider line
    More: NewsFlash, Kim Kardashian, TMZ, breaking news, Laura Wasser  
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20994 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2013 at 12:30 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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251 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2013-04-19 04:05:15 PM  

brightestfell: [img1.fark.net image 54x11]

i have a Bottle of Wild Turkey and a pack of Oreos.


Hey! Want a new Best Farkin' Friend?
 
2013-04-19 04:06:00 PM  

kiwimoogle84: I'm just waiting for Taylor Swift to barge into the delivery room where Kim and Kanye are and announce "I'mma let you finish pushing, but Beyonce had the cutest baby of all time. ALL TIME!" Then drop the mike and storm out.

That would make my year.



That got "Funny"ed.
 
2013-04-19 04:08:46 PM  
ImpatientlyUnsympathetic:

WTF is wrong with this world?

I've been in need of reciprocal oral sex for at least 10 years.


Is this real life?

No, it's just fantasy. Unless you're caught in a landslide.
 
2013-04-19 04:10:49 PM  
Obiwontaun:
Good thing we didn't let the gays get married and ruin the sanctity of marriage

Yeah, that's pretty much my take on all stories like this :/

DROxINxTHExWIND:
You all get pissed that she got famous for farking someone but all of you love Ron Jeremy and no one gives Jenna Jamison this type of shiat.

Ron Jeremy, while a grotesquely hirsute troll of a man, seems like a decent enough fellow.  Jenna Jamison... is she even in the news?  Not here.  Anyway farking was their profession and I'm pretty sure they started at the bottom (so to speak... boing!).  Whereas Kardashian somehow appeared out of a cloud of her own PR agents "leaking" a home sex tape, and instead of simply being another obscure ultra-rich social parasite, her worthless existence is shoved in our faces every time we go online or to the supermarket.
 
2013-04-19 04:17:59 PM  

What in The: brightestfell: [img1.fark.net image 54x11]  i have a Bottle of Wild Turkey and a pack of Oreos.

I'll see your Oreos and raise you some Strawberry Fig Newtons.


I've got you flagged as the guy who lied about Grade E meat in military rations. I don't even remember what that's about.
 
2013-04-19 04:18:40 PM  

give me doughnuts: kiwimoogle84: I'm just waiting for Taylor Swift to barge into the delivery room where Kim and Kanye are and announce "I'mma let you finish pushing, but Beyonce had the cutest baby of all time. ALL TIME!" Then drop the mike and storm out.

That would make my year.


That got "Funny"ed.


Why thank you. Credit for that joke actually goes to my sister. But seeing as to how she's not on Fark, I'll happily be her proxy.
 
2013-04-19 04:18:51 PM  
Damn it, if those two can't make it, no one can.  Why did I get married?
 
2013-04-19 04:20:40 PM  
I am getting their baby an electrolysis gift card for its first birthday. It will need it by then.
 
2013-04-19 04:20:56 PM  

Surly U. Jest: Hey guys! I just popped a zit on my ass! Good news indeed!


Pics or it didn't happen.
 
2013-04-19 04:24:35 PM  

treesloth: Surly U. Jest: Hey guys! I just popped a zit on my ass! Good news indeed!

Pics or it didn't happen.


PLEASE DO NOT POST PICS.
 
2013-04-19 04:25:26 PM  
I declare this thread a Gary Busey Thread!

media.egotvonline.com
 
2013-04-19 04:25:48 PM  

Frankenstorm: Remember this day, everyone.


JFK assassination.  Moon landing.  Challenger explosion.  9/11.  KK's divorce.

You'll tell your grandchildren where you were.

/treesloth was only around for 3 of those, btw...
 
2013-04-19 04:27:18 PM  

kiwimoogle84: PLEASE DO NOT POST PICS.


Ok, agreed.  And endless congrats on the coming kid!
 
2013-04-19 04:30:13 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-19 04:45:30 PM  

treesloth: kiwimoogle84: PLEASE DO NOT POST PICS.

Ok, agreed.  And endless congrats on the coming kid!


Thank you! Now to set up my Mario nursery... If I do things right, my kid's first full sentence will be "tap two mana, counter target spell."
 
2013-04-19 04:49:52 PM  

gideon: I declare this thread a Gary Busey Thread!

[media.egotvonline.com image 350x400]


SIR! YES SIR!

farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2013-04-19 04:56:05 PM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-04-19 05:16:56 PM  

Keyser_Soze_Death: [memecrunch.com image 586x449]


th5.photobucket.com
There are four [green] lights!
 
2013-04-19 05:20:30 PM  
In the words of Breaking Bad Season Two, Episode Six "Skank..Skank..Skank....Skank".
 
2013-04-19 05:30:10 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: NightSteel: spentmiles, I've seen some of your other work, so I'm pretty sure you aren't serious.. but I gotta ask, out of sheer morbid curiosity.. how would you consider her successful and/or talented at anything other than duping people?

Not to be a contrarian or anything, but I seriously don't understand the hate for her. Up until sometime last year, I couldn't have picked her out of a line-up if you just showed me her face because I didn't care to follow whatever it was she was doing. I just knew that SOMEBODY liked it because I kept hearing her name. You all get pissed that she got famous for farking someone but all of you love Ron Jeremy and no one gives Jenna Jamison this type of shiat. She's a pretty woman with a nice ass who figured out that there was a market for her just being her and she sold it to us. Somebody bought it and she made a lot of money. Fark is there to hate her about?


Maybe farkers hate that we are putting someone like this (wealthy, vapid and superficial) on a pedestal and, instead of directing that hate towards TV producers and the TV viewership, direct that hate at her.

I assumed she was simply fodder for "hate farking" and "Dat A$$" jokes
 
2013-04-19 05:32:52 PM  

kiwimoogle84: I'm just waiting for Taylor Swift to barge into the delivery room where Kim and Kanye are and announce "I'mma let you finish pushing, but Beyonce had the cutest baby of all time. ALL TIME!" Then drop the mike and storm out.

That would make my year


Yell "mazel tov" and throw fish sticks.
 
2013-04-19 05:42:00 PM  
This is good news . . . for Bajor!
 
2013-04-19 05:43:43 PM  

kiwimoogle84: give me doughnuts: kiwimoogle84: I'm just waiting for Taylor Swift to barge into the delivery room where Kim and Kanye are and announce "I'mma let you finish pushing, but Beyonce had the cutest baby of all time. ALL TIME!" Then drop the mike and storm out.

That would make my year.


That got "Funny"ed.

Why thank you. Credit for that joke actually goes to my sister. But seeing as to how she's not on Fark, I'll happily be her proxy.


Nevertheless, you are now favorited in a nice shade of green as "Wants Taylor Swift to Kanye Kanye".
 
2013-04-19 05:46:20 PM  
Isn't that that chick with the fat ass who's famous for being famous?
 
2013-04-19 05:50:25 PM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-19 06:09:33 PM  
Not for long....Kanye will stupidly put a ring on it.

Book it..Done
 
2013-04-19 06:11:02 PM  
Kartrashian
 
2013-04-19 06:31:11 PM  
Perhaps the laws vary state to state, but I was under the impression that divorce was postponed if the woman was pregnant. EEvery step of the way during mine, I was asked if I was pregnant (with either my now ex-husband's child or some random dude's). I was asked so many times and so vehemently that I wondered if they would have a pregnancy test waiting for me at the final hearing.
 
2013-04-19 06:32:23 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-19 06:46:07 PM  
I'd bet that woman drops turds so big you could put wheels and a steering wheel on one and drive it off.
 
2013-04-19 07:06:35 PM  
Why does nobody ever knock off the reality show creeps and awful debutantes? Why is it always innocent 8-year-old kids and ineffectual politicians?

I'm not wishing death on anyone here. I'm just saying, if you're going to go crazy and hurt people, why not at least hurt people who are a detriment to society in the first place? Why do you have to go after decent, normal people who never corrupted the world with selfish bullshiat?

I think most people would gladly trade everyone who died in the Boston attack, or Sandy Hook, or 9/11 for the Kardashians, the cast of Jersey Shore, the real Housewives of wherever-the-fark, most of the stars of TLC shows, and Paris Hilton. If I could see the news saying that that 8-year-old kid was alive, but Kim Kardashian suddenly and spontaneously exploded, I would feel there was some justice in the world.

I wish them no specific harm. I just think it's completely unfair that awful people keep on going and getting more wealthy and famous as if it's a reward for being horrible human beings, while the good people only become famous when they're killed by the scum of our species.

The world kinda sucks.
 
2013-04-19 07:25:31 PM  
A bookmark to remind me to come back to see the surreal Busey/Kardashian shops that will turn up later.
 
2013-04-19 09:52:10 PM  

MensRea: Why the Fark is this a News Flash? Fark this shiate.


You're one of those people who joined Fark without ever knowing what Fark was supposed to be about, aren't ya?
 
2013-04-19 10:33:06 PM  
skinink:
[www.eonline.com image 634x1024]

I do not find anything attractive with that thing.
 
2013-04-19 10:37:11 PM  
A SECOND PLANE HAS JUST HIT KIM KARDASHIAN!  REPEAT:  A SECOND PLANE HAS JUST HIT KIM KARDASHIAN!
 
2013-04-19 11:12:10 PM  

HighOnCraic: A SECOND PLANE HAS JUST HIT KIM KARDASHIAN!  REPEAT:  A SECOND PLANE HAS JUST HIT KIM KARDASHIAN!


Man, do not get my hopes up.
 
2013-04-19 11:21:21 PM  

bim1154: I'd bet that woman drops turds so big you could put wheels and a steering wheel on one and drive it off.


Let's all laugh at Mr. Scientific Ignorance here who thinks there's a correlation between ass size and turd size.
 
2013-04-19 11:46:48 PM  
who ?
 
2013-04-20 12:37:28 AM  

IsNoGood: who ?


Baseball player.  1st base, I think.
 
2013-04-20 12:56:36 AM  

Mock26: IsNoGood: who ?

Baseball player.  1st base, I think.


I don't know
 
2013-04-20 12:59:33 AM  

JacksonBryan: Mock26: IsNoGood: who ?

Baseball player.  1st base, I think.

I don't know


img.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-20 01:14:14 AM  

HighOnCraic: A SECOND PLANE HAS JUST HIT KIM KARDASHIAN!  REPEAT:  A SECOND PLANE HAS JUST HIT KIM KARDASHIAN!


AND IT, TOO, HAS DISAPPEARED BETWEEN THE TWIN CHEEKS, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. OH THE HUMANITY!
 
2013-04-20 02:14:40 AM  
Brilliant green, internets for sub and the guy/gal who gave the go ahead
 
2013-04-20 02:22:49 AM  
It would be awesome if Chris Brown turned out to be her babydaddy.

NewJesus:I don't get it, is her butt just full of semen?
She could start her own navy. Heyyyyoooooo!
 
2013-04-20 04:42:07 AM  
 
2013-04-20 11:36:15 AM  
ZeroCorpse:

I just think it's completely unfair that awful people keep on going and getting more wealthy and famous as if it's a reward for being horrible human beings

In general I sort of agree, with one caveat: what proof do you have that Kim Kardashian is a horrible human being?

All I know of her is that she's on magazine covers a lot and that Farkers post a lot of links to things having to do with her, but the articles I read to not be completely out of the American "cultural" loop say very little about her moral character. That she's famous for being famous as the offspring of a famous rich dead lawyer and now a famous ex-athlete's stepdaughter tempts my class-warrior inclination to be biased against her, but otherwise all I know about her is what the media tells me: that she's supposed to be sexy & glamorous (chacun à son goût), that she likes to shop and go clubbing (as we're told most young women do), that she likes being sexy & glamorous & rich & famous (who wouldn't?), and that now that she's pregnant and putting on weight she's to be derided (along with every other woman with a 22+ BMI and/or a "baby bump"). If we're told about anything good she's done it's that (like celebrities are supposed to) she gives some time & money to charities and "cares deeply about the less fortunate," and the bad things we hear about her pertain mostly to alleged sexual misconduct (which sounds pretty mild to me, I could tell you some stories from back in my day). Oh and I read she's "had some work done" on her figure & maybe face: that seemed unnecessary to me but it's de rigueur for female celebrities.

If she is indeed frivolous & vapid that's an extremely common fault even among the poor & obscure and one that should not automatically disqualify her as a human being. I'm tempted to say otherwise, the world has a few billion too many people in it and most of them are at best frivolous & vapid, but the first inmates in our death camps should be baby-rapers and wife-beaters, not "normal" American 20-somethings.

And all that data has been supplied by the media: I've never even seen her on the street anywhere let alone spent a few days in her company, and I'm pretty sure that's also true of most of y'all farkers. So when we talk about her we're not talking about her as a human being, we're discussing a Media Profile built up around her. We really don't know a damn thing about the woman otherwise.

So tell me ZeroCorpse, what have you contributed to humanity lately? What proofs do you have of your inestimable moral worth and peerless judgment that entitle you to pronounce some pretty random celebrity a horrible human being? And are you basing this verdict on direct personal experience with her, or did Bog and all his holy angels & saints bless you with a revealing vision?

Let's face it, we discuss Celebrities because our own lives are empty & boring, perhaps because we're so vapid we can't think of anything better to do; nevertheless I have something about myself that makes me hesitate to condemn someone utterly based on fourth-hand relative trivia, something I wish you also had because for some reason I pride myself on it and because wishing you were as well-equipped costs me less than nothing.

So give your condemnation a break, or point it at some worse evil you might know something about. Preferably from your personal experience, not something you read in gossip pieces somewhere on the Internet. Surely there's enough evil in the real world around you to keep you busy for the next couple weeks, and when you return from your fact-finding mission I'd like to read your report.
 
2013-04-20 12:11:42 PM  

i1136.photobucket.com

 
2013-04-20 02:45:14 PM  

bim1154: I'd bet that woman drops turds so big you could put wheels and a steering wheel on one and drive it off.


SHE BEEFS!
 
2013-04-20 03:11:41 PM  

The One True TheDavid: ZeroCorpse:

I just think it's completely unfair that awful people keep on going and getting more wealthy and famous as if it's a reward for being horrible human beings

In general I sort of agree, with one caveat: what proof do you have that Kim Kardashian is a horrible human being?

All I know of her is that she's on magazine covers a lot and that Farkers post a lot of links to things having to do with her, but the articles I read to not be completely out of the American "cultural" loop say very little about her moral character. That she's famous for being famous as the offspring of a famous rich dead lawyer and now a famous ex-athlete's stepdaughter tempts my class-warrior inclination to be biased against her, but otherwise all I know about her is what the media tells me: that she's supposed to be sexy & glamorous (chacun à son goût), that she likes to shop and go clubbing (as we're told most young women do), that she likes being sexy & glamorous & rich & famous (who wouldn't?), and that now that she's pregnant and putting on weight she's to be derided (along with every other woman with a 22+ BMI and/or a "baby bump"). If we're told about anything good she's done it's that (like celebrities are supposed to) she gives some time & money to charities and "cares deeply about the less fortunate," and the bad things we hear about her pertain mostly to alleged sexual misconduct (which sounds pretty mild to me, I could tell you some stories from back in my day). Oh and I read she's "had some work done" on her figure & maybe face: that seemed unnecessary to me but it's de rigueur for female celebrities.

If she is indeed frivolous & vapid that's an extremely common fault even among the poor & obscure and one that should not automatically disqualify her as a human being. I'm tempted to say otherwise, the world has a few billion too many people in it and most of them are at best frivolous & vapid, but the first inmates in our death camps should be baby-rapers and wife-beate ...


9/10. That got a good chuckle out of me.
 
2013-04-20 05:56:58 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: bim1154: I'd bet that woman drops turds so big you could put wheels and a steering wheel on one and drive it off.

Let's all laugh at Mr. Scientific Ignorance here who thinks there's a correlation between ass size and turd size.


This is Fark where we come to say outrageous things that sometimes exaggerate.

>insert welcometofarkimage.jpg
 
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