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(Right Wing Watch)   Pat Robertson tells viewers to stay away from Dungeons & Dragons because it has "literally destroyed people's lives." Prevented lives from being created, maybe. But "destroyed"?   (rightwingwatch.org ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Dungeons & Dragons, Pat Robertson  
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6410 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Apr 2013 at 5:01 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-18 03:12:28 PM  
I know that I have died thanks to D&D hundreds of times in the 25+ years I have been playing.
Clearly he knows what he is talking about
 
2013-04-18 03:18:36 PM  
Not if you make the saving throw
 
2013-04-18 03:32:58 PM  
Where are the Cheetos?
Where's the Mountain Dew?
Can I have a Mountain Dew?
I'm gonna get a soda; anyone want one? Hey, Graham, I'm not in the room, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vChEPj0dXXk

This is so old and busted.
 
2013-04-18 03:34:36 PM  
Not only are his thinking and philosophy archaic, so are his targets.  I wonder what he thinks about Pogs?
 
2013-04-18 03:34:37 PM  
I can't wait till he dies and is very disappointed!
If not... I hope he is eternally assraped, rape-rape style, for all the lives this POS has destroyed with his ignorant and bigoted words.

How many kids committed suicide or lived in mental anguish because their parents were listening to what this taintwad said?
He ranks up there with any destructive religious zealots in history...
 
2013-04-18 03:34:47 PM  
Not the Ded Alewives. That stuff is hilarious, still.
 
2013-04-18 03:36:17 PM  
1983 called, it wanted its manufactured outrage back...
 
2013-04-18 03:37:13 PM  
Marcie! Noooooo!
 
2013-04-18 03:37:57 PM  

huiothesian.files.wordpress.com

openclipart.org


/Oblig
 
2013-04-18 03:40:13 PM  
Bree yark!
 
2013-04-18 03:41:16 PM  
i.imgur.com

See, people?  Literally.
 
2013-04-18 03:43:55 PM  
I accidentally hit a button on my car radio and heard 30 seconds of a Metallica song -- did I just worship Satan?
 
2013-04-18 03:45:15 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory: I accidentally hit a button on my car radio and heard 30 seconds of a Metallica song -- did I just worship Satan?


Else you are warming up for Pat Robertson's other school.
 
2013-04-18 03:54:18 PM  
womenunplugged.files.wordpress.com

Pat Robertson was exaggerating.
 
2013-04-18 03:54:21 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

It was just a movie, Pat.
 
2013-04-18 03:57:18 PM  
Wow, Pat.  Did you fly back to 1984 or something?

Damn, I haven't heard a D&D/Satanism reference in like 25 years.

Blast from the past.
 
2013-04-18 03:58:50 PM  
Or maybe, as is the trend in sports nowadays, are televangelists doing "retro nights"?
 
2013-04-18 04:00:10 PM  
I had a distant aunt that wrote my mother a letter telling her that her son was going to burn in hell for eternity because he was playing D&D.

I didn't ever know who she was and didn't hear from her before or since.

Well a howdy doo to you too, Aunt Sunshine!

What an unpleasant bit of gristle that woman was, whoever she was.
 
2013-04-18 04:02:10 PM  
Pat, I have a Grand Master of Flowers that would like a word with you.
 
2013-04-18 04:04:44 PM  
Heh....I first read that as "Robert Pattinson", and I was going to make a joke about Twitards.
 
2013-04-18 04:06:58 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 304x296]

It was just a movie, Pat.


Came for the Mazes & Monsters reference, leaving wishing I could shove Pat Robertson off of the Empire State building...
 
2013-04-18 04:09:26 PM  

Nadie_AZ: Where are the Cheetos?
Where's the Mountain Dew?
Can I have a Mountain Dew?
I'm gonna get a soda; anyone want one? Hey, Graham, I'm not in the room, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vChEPj0dXXk

This is so old and busted.


Yes, very old but still very apt. I wish it wasn't, but it is.
 
2013-04-18 04:10:54 PM  
Damn, was the WTC, not the Empire State building...-1 Intelligence
 
2013-04-18 04:11:00 PM  

dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 468x240]

See, people?  Literally.


What kind of DM doesn't allow a saving throw against traps?

LAME.
 
2013-04-18 04:15:24 PM  
I guess we could ask Dave Arneson his opinion on D&D destroying lives.
 
2013-04-18 04:16:28 PM  
I thought Pat would be blaming Boston or Texas on teh gays.

/No, not the states themselves, the incidents
//Boston isn't a state
 
2013-04-18 04:17:53 PM  
Pat Robertson? You mean he isn't dead and spooning with Falwell in the seventh circle of Hell?
 
2013-04-18 04:30:20 PM  
He was probably referring to the cartoon.

2.bp.blogspot.com

Stars like Willie Ames and Donny Most really didn't have a career after this flop.
 
2013-04-18 04:33:04 PM  

2wolves: Pat, I have a Grand Master of Flowers that would like a word quivering palm with you.


Oh yeah. I went there.
 
2013-04-18 04:33:57 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: He was probably referring to the cartoon.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 742x572]

Stars like Willie Ames and Donny Most really didn't have a career after this flop.


LOL.  I totally forgot about that one!  Loved it when I was little.
 
2013-04-18 04:34:01 PM  
I can count three ordained ministers that were in my college D&D group.
 
2013-04-18 04:45:44 PM  
The deftly fast bard known as Robertson quietly strolled into the court yard that day. It was a wonderful day with the sun up high, the air cool with a soft spring breeze and townsfolk hustling amongst the flowing crowds. Robertson took up position nearby an aging weeping willow, standing tall in his brightly adorned garb. He slowly but with great intent withdrew his instrument, wonderfully inlaid with rivulets of mithril and carved from the bleached bones of a dragon.

*rolls charisma check
*check failed

No sooner than he arrived, entire throngs of crowds began to gather nearby some to cheer but most to jeer.

*dexterity check
*check passed

Soon the noise of the crowd easily overtook the failing bard and he retreated from the town square finding a nearby shadow to hide while the mob passed. He hid in the shadow thinking to himself "If only they knew". For what the crowd had no idea was that the evil Baron had hired the Bard to distract the townsfolk while he had his men slip into the mines and steal what they could.
 
2013-04-18 04:50:31 PM  
I had a sorceror that would have loved Pat. Lawful evil infernal bloodline, who loved schtupping his twin sister (played by my wife.... And we'd never seen Game of Thrones at the time).  He would have done so many evil things to Pat.
 
2013-04-18 05:02:45 PM  

Diogenes: Not only are his thinking and philosophy archaic, so are his targets.  I wonder what he thinks about Pogs?


you mean hawiian devil circles?
 
2013-04-18 05:03:17 PM  
Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.
 
2013-04-18 05:04:37 PM  
In other news Pat Roberton is trapped in a time loop.
 
2013-04-18 05:04:50 PM  
Pat Robertson has actually destroyed people's lives.
 
Bf+
2013-04-18 05:05:17 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
Tom Hanks approves...
 
2013-04-18 05:05:17 PM  

jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.


All Children, Devil's Children
 
2013-04-18 05:05:30 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-18 05:05:41 PM  

jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.


manilovefilms.com
 
2013-04-18 05:06:22 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: He was probably referring to the cartoon.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 742x572]

Stars like Willie Ames and Donny Most really didn't have a career after this flop.


FLOP ???? that was the greatest single cartoon in all of human history.
 
2013-04-18 05:06:35 PM  

downstairs: jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.

All Children, Devil's Children


wasn't it, anti christ, devils child
 
2013-04-18 05:06:57 PM  
Mazes & Monsters, D&D cartoon ... I love this thread.
 
2013-04-18 05:06:59 PM  
Jesus saves!

/the rest of you take full damage
 
2013-04-18 05:07:11 PM  
What if I'm playing a LG cleric of Yahweh? Still evil?
 
2013-04-18 05:07:12 PM  
Well, 4th edition, maybe.
 
2013-04-18 05:07:18 PM  

downstairs: jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.

All Children, Devil's Children


I heard it as "Against Christ, Devil's Children"
 
2013-04-18 05:07:46 PM  

SilentStrider: I had a sorceror that would have loved Pat. Lawful evil infernal bloodline, who loved schtupping his twin sister (played by my wife.... And we'd never seen Game of Thrones at the time).  He would have done so many evil things to Pat.


are you talking about Pat or the Sorcerer here?
 
2013-04-18 05:07:51 PM  
Who the fark submitted this weary old rubbish?

I hope the Phelps herd pickets Pat's funeral when he finally finally kicks it.
 
2013-04-18 05:08:05 PM  
Mazes and Monsters is a far out game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFIWUYr0n10

And Oscar winner Tom Hanks amazing performance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfxXug5ZMdk
 
2013-04-18 05:08:17 PM  
Fourth edition D&D IS a tool of Satan!

/Pathfinder is much better.
//Hero System 5th ed. is the greatest tabletop RPG of all time.
///Of. All. Time!
 
2013-04-18 05:08:23 PM  
Funny, I thought it was Pat Robertson that destroyed lives.

What playing d&d does is give WOTC money, which I'm generally against. But my hate has abated a lot since they put the back catalog up on PDF for cheap download. That earned WOTC a shiatton of brownie points.
 
2013-04-18 05:08:24 PM  
I figuratively face palmed.

Seriously, if I literally did it after reading every headline of the dumbass derp I would need facial reconstruction surgery.
 
2013-04-18 05:08:29 PM  

downstairs: jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.

All Children, Devil's Children


I remember it being Anti Christ/Devil's Children.

We Are Satin's People was another one.
 
2013-04-18 05:08:45 PM  
At first I was a elven thief, it was a gateway to burglary and then grand theft auto.

My bag of holding was often holding weed.
 
2013-04-18 05:08:46 PM  
Next, Pat will warn us impressionable kids to stay away from those video game arcades.

I also hear those MTV "music videos" cause teens to have sex.
 
2013-04-18 05:08:52 PM  
pda.medjugorje.ws

"Okay Jesus, let's see you roll for damage..."

i.i.com.com

"Oh my god! Oh my god, you rolled 0!! You...you DIED!"
 
2013-04-18 05:08:57 PM  
If he was talking about the movie, he makes a good point.
 
2013-04-18 05:09:05 PM  
Did I just wake up in 1983?
 
2013-04-18 05:09:09 PM  
If he cared about his viewers, he would tell them to stay away from alcohol.   With alcohol, there are decades of statistics showing the lives that have been destroyed.

That all remind me, I want to go to a D&D game on Friday.  What type of beer should I bring?
 
2013-04-18 05:09:28 PM  
It literally destroyed my life because I was slain by an elf.
 
2013-04-18 05:09:37 PM  

xanadian: 1983 called, it wanted its manufactured outrage back...


No kidding. It's played by middle-aged professional family guys now.
 
Bf+
2013-04-18 05:09:41 PM  
That's why I stick with "Tunnels and Trolls"
www.freedungeons.com
 
2013-04-18 05:10:01 PM  
I am a level 12 paladin with a helm of disintegration.
 
2013-04-18 05:10:09 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Nadie_AZ: Where are the Cheetos?
Where's the Mountain Dew?
Can I have a Mountain Dew?
I'm gonna get a soda; anyone want one? Hey, Graham, I'm not in the room, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vChEPj0dXXk

This is so old and busted.

Yes, very old but still very apt. I wish it wasn't, but it is.


It doesn't ever get old to me, but I was not a long-term RPG player, so take it with a grain of salt. Plus, if I didn't find some way of liking it, I would have punched in my fiancé's face a long time ago after the thousandth time he'd said, "But I wanna DOOOO them!"
 
2013-04-18 05:10:38 PM  

Facetious_Speciest: What if I'm playing a LG cleric of Yahweh? Still evil?


YHWH is at BEST lawful neutral with evil tendencies. On a good day.
 
2013-04-18 05:10:56 PM  

Eddie T. Head: downstairs: jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.

All Children, Devil's Children

I remember it being Anti Christ/Devil's Children.

We Are Satin's People was another one.


After Christ, Devil Comes.
 
2013-04-18 05:11:08 PM  
Pat needs to substitute "Dungeons and Dragons" with a more appropriate one for the time period, "Facebook".  That site can ruin lives.
 
2013-04-18 05:11:19 PM  
No arrow to the knee reference yet?

/Y'all be slippin'
 
Bf+
2013-04-18 05:11:49 PM  

xanadian: 1983 called, it wanted its manufactured outrage back...


Someone should tell him about 2 Live Crew.
 
2013-04-18 05:11:58 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: At first I was a elven thief, it was a gateway to burglary and then grand theft auto.

My bag of holding was often holding weed.


Should have been a halfling thief, the bag of weed of holding is standard issue!
 
2013-04-18 05:12:06 PM  

Lando Lincoln: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 468x240]

See, people?  Literally.

What kind of DM doesn't allow a saving throw against traps?

LAME.


I'd make them roll for trap check, wisdom check to see if they know anything about the habits of halflings (or whatever the main occupant of the dungeon they are in is) and then con to see how effective the poison is.

But I've always been a bit of a softy except when they fight a necromancer. One time my group got pretty banged up and went back into town for two days. They ended up fighting something like 6 times the original number of mobs. came close to wiping them but the rogue got all fancy with water skins and made a supersoaker full of holy water.... that sneaky fark.
 
2013-04-18 05:12:47 PM  
Pat, I'm sorry, but it's too late. You've awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.
 
2013-04-18 05:12:53 PM  
The only lives that D&D has ever destroyed have belonged to gazebos.
 
2013-04-18 05:13:19 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-18 05:13:31 PM  
No, he's right that Dungeons and Dragons "literally destroyed people's lives".

Certainly in Junior High/High School, playing that game did in fact "destroy my life" in that it wrecked any chance for me getting laid during that time period.
 
2013-04-18 05:13:33 PM  

Facetious_Speciest: What if I'm playing a LG cleric of Yahweh? Still evil?


You know, I think that's part of the issue. Games like D&D risk exposing sheltered Christian kids to the ideas of different religions actually existing.

"Yeah, YOU may believe in one God. This priest, though, he believes in a group of deities, and he's still a good person. Of COURSE your preacher says he'd go to Hell. He'd tell you that, when you die, you toil in the Gods' wheat fields for decades as penance for disbelief. It's all good, though- once you serve your time, you go to the Mead Hall."
 
2013-04-18 05:13:40 PM  
Is it the 80's again?

I just got another expansion for Munchkin. My kids love that game.

//Except the "Baby Oil" card, my eldest was a little disturbed by that particular card.
 
2013-04-18 05:14:04 PM  
Wait til he figures out the internet and all the porn on it. I'm guessing he'll stumble on that one in 20 years, if he lives that long.
 
2013-04-18 05:14:23 PM  

Evil Mackerel: I am a level 12 paladin with a helm of disintegration.


No, you're a black guy.
 
2013-04-18 05:14:26 PM  
so i'm an evil occultist wizard?  huh.  must be a 3.5 prestige class or something.
 
2013-04-18 05:14:28 PM  

neongoats: Facetious_Speciest: What if I'm playing a LG cleric of Yahweh? Still evil?

YHWH is at BEST lawful neutral with evil tendencies. On a good day.


Old testament, I dunno, i'd go more with Lawful evil.  NT, however, would be neutral good I think.
 
2013-04-18 05:14:36 PM  

Katolu: xanadian: 1983 called, it wanted its manufactured outrage back...

No kidding. It's played by middle-aged professional family guys now.


My group consists of 7 guys. 5 of us are married, 4 with kids.

We're all in our thirties and forties, mostly with advanced degrees.

Thursday nights we get tore up on fine weed and craft beers, order pizza and run thru Temple of Elemental Evil, using 1st edition rules.

/yeah! Its thursday!
 
2013-04-18 05:14:39 PM  
I'll pretend he's right and that DnD has destroyed peoples lives. I'll even get crazy and say there's a 100 people we could list by name, location and DOB. I'll concede all of that, even if it's not true, and say he's right.

And that would only make DnD about a million times less harmful to humanity than his religion... And I have to use that number only if I'm talking in the modern era. If I go back in history then the harm done by his religion is absolutely incalculable. We are literally centuries behind where we could be if religion like his had never existed.
 
2013-04-18 05:14:44 PM  
Pffff... my lvl 3 sorcerer isn't destroying my life.

SilentStrider: I had a sorceror that would have loved Pat. Lawful evil infernal bloodline, who loved schtupping his twin sister (played by my wife.... And we'd never seen Game of Thrones at the time).  He would have done so many evil things to Pat.


So you and your wife roleplay incest?
 
2013-04-18 05:15:08 PM  
I roll to disbelieve.
 
2013-04-18 05:15:08 PM  
Deadlands FTW.
 
2013-04-18 05:15:18 PM  
If he said something like, "Xbox or PS3 games will destroy people's lives and you should stay away from them.", well, his audience would abandon him in droves since most have them and know they're harmless.  Also, I'd wager that people that still listen to this guy aren't going to be labeled as readers of anything except select parts of the bible, so expecting them to vet this as credible just won't happen.

Now that the gays are fighting back and winning, a niche group of book reading, dice throwing non-violent people are a perfect redirection for his hate spewing rhetoric.

/odd how Je$us directly tells him a lot of lies.
 
2013-04-18 05:15:37 PM  

Rhypskallion: If he cared about his viewers, he would tell them to stay away from alcohol.   With alcohol, there are decades of statistics showing the lives that have been destroyed.

That all remind me, I want to go to a D&D game on Friday.  What type of beer should I bring?


bythepint.com
 
2013-04-18 05:16:52 PM  
www.demotivationalinc.com
 
2013-04-18 05:16:54 PM  
It's not a lightsaber! It's a psionic spirit blade!

/(I shall spread the buttery justice of Therin over the toast of your iniquity!"
//Such a good movie.
 
2013-04-18 05:17:16 PM  

Eddie T. Head: downstairs: jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.

All Children, Devil's Children

I remember it being Anti Christ/Devil's Children.

We Are Satin's People was another one.


Satin's People? Fabulous!
 
2013-04-18 05:17:36 PM  
I wonder what he'd think about Dark Heresy?  I suspect Robertson would be an monodominate member of the Inquisition...Ordo Hereticus of course.

i'm probably one of the very few people on fark that's actually got a bona fide Warrant of Trade tho.
 
2013-04-18 05:18:09 PM  
wait till he sees games like munchkin, pathfinder, Kobolds Ate My baby, Cards against Humanity or something based of the cthulu mythos

I do believe he has played this card  http://www.worldofmunchkin.com/d10/img/narrow.jpg
 
2013-04-18 05:18:17 PM  

Antimatter: neongoats: Facetious_Speciest: What if I'm playing a LG cleric of Yahweh? Still evil?

YHWH is at BEST lawful neutral with evil tendencies. On a good day.

Old testament, I dunno, i'd go more with Lawful evil.  NT, however, would be neutral good I think.


Only the Yeshua cult. They cribbed the portfolio of Ilmater the crying god.
 
2013-04-18 05:18:33 PM  
D&D teaches valuable life lessons. I've learned that it's better to cast magic missile at the darkness rather than curse it.

Or something.
 
2013-04-18 05:18:47 PM  
Heh. I played D&D on Tuesday night, and I have another session via Roll20 on Saturday.

So I'm getting a kick out of et cetera, et cetera.
 
2013-04-18 05:19:06 PM  
This is by no means a reflection on ALL dnders but I honestly believe dnd has saved a LOT of lives.
Not kidding.
 
2013-04-18 05:19:08 PM  

tortilla burger: D&D teaches valuable life lessons. I've learned that it's better to cast magic missile at the darkness rather than curse it.

Or something.


D&D taught me that dead orcs are easier to loot than live ones.
 
2013-04-18 05:19:41 PM  

downstairs: Wow, Pat.  Did you fly back to 1984 or something?

Damn, I haven't heard a D&D/Satanism reference in like 25 years.

Blast from the past.


I saw it mentioned as Satanic on a crime show, I think it was Forensic Files.

To the shows credit, it did say that these kids were falsely accused because of their hobby.

The sad thing is, this whole hysteria happened because of a 15 year old runaway boy played a D&D/LARP game at his college (He was a young genius). A PI the family hired thought the boy had accidentally been killed in a session and his buddies covered it up.

Mom runs to the media and publishes a book about it. Boy is found alive months later and is diagnosed with Schizophrenia and eventually commits suicide.

The D&D = Dangerous trend merged with the Satanic Hysteria of the 80's and we got what we have today.

I'd like to think thanks to the internet and video games we're experiencing a Renaissance in the table top games and RPGs

I'm currently playing in the Fark Pathfinder game right now and I could be happier. :) Getting into an awesome group is key.

/Liked 4 ed, hope for good things in 5.0
//Shadrowrun's 5.0 sounds really awesome as well
 
2013-04-18 05:19:59 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: He was probably referring to the cartoon.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 742x572]

Stars like Willie Ames and Donny Most really didn't have a career after this flop.


HEY! Step off my childhood! I loved that cartoon :)
 
2013-04-18 05:20:31 PM  
www1.pictures.zimbio.com

You guys, this is literally the most bonkers thing I have ever read.
 
2013-04-18 05:21:25 PM  

xanadian: 1983 called, it wanted its manufactured outrage back...


^^^
 
2013-04-18 05:21:30 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: Fourth edition D&D IS a tool of Satan!

/Pathfinder is much better.
//Hero System 5th ed. is the greatest tabletop RPG of all time.
///Of. All. Time!


I dig me some Rolemaster.
 
2013-04-18 05:21:43 PM  

downstairs: Wow, Pat.  Did you fly back to 1984 or something?

Damn, I haven't heard a D&D/Satanism reference in like 25 years.

Blast from the past.


I bet his idea of the "dangers" of video games include losing a eye from that square ball in Pong.
 
2013-04-18 05:21:50 PM  

DerAppie: [25.media.tumblr.com image 714x429]


No he's-a not, he's a-wearin' a neck-a-tie!

/wrong bear
 
2013-04-18 05:21:55 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: I thought Pat would be blaming Boston or Texas on teh gays.

/No, not the states themselves, the incidents
//Boston isn't a state


2.bp.blogspot.com

also not a state, but probably involved with ruining a few young lives.
 
2013-04-18 05:22:31 PM  

Deadguy2322: Eddie T. Head: downstairs: jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.

All Children, Devil's Children

I remember it being Anti Christ/Devil's Children.

We Are Satin's People was another one.

Satin's People? Fabulous!


I deserved that one :/

We Are Satan's People is what I meant.
 
2013-04-18 05:23:30 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Lives? Maybe, but it did almost kill a young Tom Hanks career.

Thank God for the hysterical moms of the 80s.
 
2013-04-18 05:23:36 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Donny Most


Actually, it's Don Most now.
 
2013-04-18 05:24:00 PM  
Wait, it's 1987 again?

D&D made me kill my brother. Lots of times. I always took his stuff, too.
 
2013-04-18 05:24:12 PM  
Dementia is a sad way to go.
 
2013-04-18 05:24:34 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: No arrow to the knee reference yet?

/Y'all be slippin'


Oh please, Robertson doesn't even know what a com-pu-ter is yet.
 
2013-04-18 05:25:18 PM  

gilgigamesh: Katolu: xanadian: 1983 called, it wanted its manufactured outrage back...

No kidding. It's played by middle-aged professional family guys now.

My group consists of 7 guys. 5 of us are married, 4 with kids.

We're all in our thirties and forties, mostly with advanced degrees.

Thursday nights we get tore up on fine weed and craft beers, order pizza and run thru Temple of Elemental Evil, using 1st edition rules.

/yeah! Its thursday!


Yeah, I hadn't played in probably 20 years and started doing this sort of thing again a year or two ago.  I'd forgotten how much fun it is to play an rpg in person with a group using pencil, paper, dice and such.  We use 3.5, though.
 
2013-04-18 05:25:56 PM  
D&nD has created at least 1 life.  Wife an I met at a D&D game.
 
2013-04-18 05:26:51 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: He was probably referring to the cartoon.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 742x572]

Stars like Willie Ames and Donny Most really didn't have a career after this flop.


What are they doing in the Blasted Lands?
 
2013-04-18 05:27:13 PM  
This was literally the first chick trac given to me when I was a kid. It involved faces melting when looking in a mirror after playing. I remember our DND neighborhood group were more freaked out that some obviously skeezy guy was stalking us and handing out hilarious and retarded pamphlets than anything he had to say about what it would do to us.
 
2013-04-18 05:27:36 PM  

jayhawk88: [www1.pictures.zimbio.com image 360x240]

You guys, this is literally the most bonkers thing I have ever read.



Rafi rules!
 
2013-04-18 05:28:03 PM  
I guess he ran out of things to condemn so he went back to the 80s to find something.
 
2013-04-18 05:28:14 PM  

Felgraf: It's not a lightsaber! It's a psionic spirit blade!

/(I shall spread the buttery justice of Therin over the toast of your iniquity!"
//Such a good movie.


You're the first person I've seen outside my group of friends that knows that movies. Favoriting you with that quote. :D

/I seduce the priestess!
 
2013-04-18 05:28:36 PM  
Is this a repeat of 1985?
 
2013-04-18 05:28:40 PM  
Well yeah, 2nd edition of course.That goes without saying.
 
2013-04-18 05:28:59 PM  

BafflerMeal: Eddie T. Head: downstairs: jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.

All Children, Devil's Children

I remember it being Anti Christ/Devil's Children.

We Are Satin's People was another one.

After Christ, Devil Comes.


Oh, Satan, make our nauseating demos sell!
 
2013-04-18 05:29:07 PM  

orclover: D&nD has created at least 1 life.  Wife an I met at a D&D game.


This is kind of an unfortunate combination of name and comment. Just sayin'.
 
2013-04-18 05:29:17 PM  

jayhawk88: You guys, this is literally the most bonkers thing I have ever read.


Raffi-bomb?
 
2013-04-18 05:29:27 PM  

DerAppie: [25.media.tumblr.com image 714x429]


img.gawkerassets.com

thebrandrackley.files.wordpress.com

sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-04-18 05:30:01 PM  

orclover: D&nD has created at least 1 life.  Wife an I met at a D&D game.


My husband and I did too.
 
2013-04-18 05:32:14 PM  
Wait till he hears about Magic The Gathering...
 
2013-04-18 05:36:12 PM  
As a female role play nerd who regularly wears a D20 pendant, screw you Pat.
And for the record, I'm not having kids but in the past D&D sessions has proven to be a good way to get some.

/D&D, Old World of Darkness, Call of Cthulu, whatever, I'm down if you have the books
//Formerly FFXI and WoW, currently a Marvel crossplayer
/see you at Anime Boston and A-Kon, farkers
 
2013-04-18 05:37:12 PM  
I don't know.  Have you seen the Dungeons and Dragons movies?
 
2013-04-18 05:40:51 PM  

downstairs: Wow, Pat.  Did you fly back to 1984 or something?

Damn, I haven't heard a D&D/Satanism reference in like 25 years.

Blast from the past.


1984's about the last time his brain hadn't yet been rendered into swiss cheese by senility, if ever.

Ringshadow:
/D&D, Old World of Darkness, Call of Cthulu, whatever,

So... hundreds of those lost lives were you, then?

//Once had a character not make it out of the introduction scene.  I think our GM might have been mistaking it for Paranoia.
 
2013-04-18 05:41:29 PM  
My sister-in-law thinks D&D is witchcraft. She thinks the same about Harry Potter. Somehow, Twilight is okay, though. Of course, she also thinks the earth is 6000 years old.

Sometimes my family makes me sad. But then I play some D&D and kill some monsters and take their stuff and I feel better.
 
2013-04-18 05:42:44 PM  
That Christian fundamentalist anti-D&D stuff is a very large part of why I no longer consider myself Christian.

I first dabbled in D&D circa 1991, when a classmate in Junior High was trying it out and wanted to put together a gaming group.  Knowing I had more friends, he was having me ask around for him.  Apparently somebody I asked thought D&D  = Satanism, because I got called into the school guidance counselors office and interrogated about trying to set up a satanic cult and that there were reports I was suicidal, all based on asking people if they'd like to try out D&D.

Well, the Guidance Counselor told my parents all about it.  My Dad was a devout, textbook Southern Baptist.  He strictly forbade me from ever playing D&D or owning D&D books, since he'd heard "all about this at Church".  Well, that was it for me playing D&D for years.  (I did play RPGs though, Star Wars especially, which my Dad didn't care about since they weren't "Dungeons and Dragons", he didn't even really know what D&D was other than it was satanic).

Bonus, the guidance counselor showed me "proof" that one of the kids had provided that D&D was Satanic.  It was some promotional piece from TSR selling gaming miniatures.  The miniatures of dragons were apparently "Idols" of "demons", and they were obviously selling satanic idols for worship purposes, the Guidance Counselor and Principal could see no other reasons at all for these tiny pewter statues.  Trying to explain any other use was futile, they'd already already decided everything.

Fast forward to 1998.  I've gone to college, and I've got a gaming group and are playing D&D on Saturday nights (and Star Wars on Tuesday nights).

I'm going to a different Church than my family did in '91, but in the same small town.  I had come to think of this Church as much more easygoing and less uptight than the one we used to go to.  I was starting to have tough theological questions, and was finding that detailed theological discussion was NOT what the Pastor liked.  Since I was 19 he liked to pawn all my inquiries off on the Youth Minister, who was basically more about playing the guitar and singing rock songs about Jesus than about spiritual growth and theology.

Well, I had been volunteering at that Church for years.  Every Saturday I would come in for a few hours and help out.  Usually it would be some light janitorial work, some maintenance and troubleshooting on the computers and sound system, general "handyman" type work.  Most of the time I was out by 2 or 3 PM.  My D&D game started at 6 and it was a 1 hour drive to where we had the game.

One day there was a lot of work to do.  Work was running late.  At around 5 PM I let the Pastor know I'd have to call it a day and head on.  He asked why was I leaving.  I, perfectly honestly, told him I was going to a D&D game.

The way he reacted, it was like I told him I was going to a Satanic Orgy and Virgin Sacrifice.  He basically accused me of doing just that.  I told him it was a harmless game that was fun and was one of my big social outlets.

The Pastor made it clear that unless I brought in all my D&D books and "satanic idols" to be burned at the Church and confessed and repented in front of the Church that I was secretly a Satanist among them and repented that sin, I wouldn't be welcome at that Church anymore.

I got my my car, and I drove off.  I haven't been back to a Church (for worship purposes, I've attended a funeral at one) since.
 
2013-04-18 05:43:37 PM  
I played D&D as a kid, and 25 years later I seem to be a well-adjusted adult with a wife and house and car and kids and cat and dog.  And I almost never sacrifice virgins and drink their blood.
 
2013-04-18 05:43:53 PM  
"Literally Destroyed People's Lives". Pat, as an avid player of fantasy based games, including D&D, I can tell you that that's a sheer impossibility. We have no lives, and therefore cannot destroy them.

One of the top comments on the YouTube Video.
 
2013-04-18 05:44:04 PM  

Silverstaff: The Pastor made it clear that unless I brought in all my D&D books and "satanic idols" to be burned at the Church and confessed and repented in front of the Church that I was secretly a Satanist among them and repented that sin, I wouldn't be welcome at that Church anymore.


I don't think any in history ever didn't happen as much as this didn't happen.
 
2013-04-18 05:44:31 PM  

Arachnophobe: Felgraf


It's really the best D&D movie ever made. (And they may be working on a followup? Can't recall)
 
2013-04-18 05:45:13 PM  
I played D&D exactly one time
It took the DM three hours to set it up
Three minutes into the game I was killed by an exploding golden pig

/I'm with Pat on this one
 
2013-04-18 05:45:19 PM  
When I was in high school I was very into D&D and other RPGs. At the time there was a media backlash, one of the first ones probably. At the time we had a house cleaner in once a week. One day my Mom said "the house cleaner found your D&D books, she was horrified and told me I need to make you stop playing". I was quite shocked. Then she said "so I fired her".
 
2013-04-18 05:45:52 PM  
I've been working on a rap song for a long time, but so far the only rhyme I have is:
Smokin' Ex Lax Like Gary Gygax
 
2013-04-18 05:46:26 PM  

tnpir: Pat Robertson? You mean he isn't dead and spooning with Falwell in the seventh circle of Hell?


Don't you mean 6th Bolgia of the 8th circle?
 
2013-04-18 05:46:48 PM  

Jim_Callahan: So... hundreds of those lost lives were you, then?

//Once had a character not make it out of the introduction scene.  I think our GM might have been mistaking it for Paranoia.


My brother GM'ed a game, and one of our characters forced a doorknob. I think he killed the entire party because we made him figure out the hardness of a doorknob.

But honestly? I had a half-elf priestess in D&D who died seven times in one campaign. Her life was Groundhog's Day.

/or that one episode of Supernatural
//TODAY IS TUESDAY
///IT WAS TUESDAY YESTERDAY
 
2013-04-18 05:48:21 PM  
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-04-18 05:51:06 PM  

digitalrain: orclover: D&nD has created at least 1 life.  Wife an I met at a D&D game.

My husband and I did too.


My wife and I did, too.  Stole her from the DM.
 
2013-04-18 05:51:19 PM  

Eddie T. Head: We Are Satin's People was another one.



Ohhh... silky.  I can I touch it?
 
2013-04-18 05:54:24 PM  
imageshack.us
Is Bunkers & Badasses okay?
 
2013-04-18 05:54:28 PM  
Pat Robertson:
Failing his save vs. personal delusion for decades.
 
2013-04-18 05:55:04 PM  

Vaneshi: Eddie T. Head: We Are Satin's People was another one.


Ohhh... silky.  I can I touch it?


www.forthemommas.com
 
2013-04-18 05:56:51 PM  

Felgraf: Arachnophobe: Felgraf

It's really the best D&D movie ever made. (And they may be working on a followup? Can't recall)


They are! It was Kickstartered and fully funded. It's called 'The Gamers: Hands of Fate'.
 
2013-04-18 05:58:41 PM  

Jument: When I was in high school I was very into D&D and other RPGs. At the time there was a media backlash, one of the first ones probably. At the time we had a house cleaner in once a week. One day my Mom said "the house cleaner found your D&D books, she was horrified and told me I need to make you stop playing". I was quite shocked. Then she said "so I fired her".


Please high-five your mom for us.
 
2013-04-18 05:58:50 PM  

Gonz: orclover: D&nD has created at least 1 life.  Wife an I met at a D&D game.

This is kind of an unfortunate combination of name and comment. Just sayin'.


http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0555.html
 
2013-04-18 06:01:55 PM  

Lord Fluffy: Pat Robertson:
Failing his save vs. personal delusion for decades.


That's because his bible has a +100000000000 defense against logic, reason and reality!
 
2013-04-18 06:02:03 PM  

KarmicDisaster: Marcie! Noooooo!


Jack Chick? Is that you?
 
2013-04-18 06:02:20 PM  

Dixon Cider: I can't wait till he dies and is very disappointed!
If not... I hope he is eternally assraped, rape-rape style, for all the lives this POS has destroyed with his ignorant and bigoted words.

How many kids committed suicide or lived in mental anguish because their parents were listening to what this taintwad said?
He ranks up there with any destructive religious zealots in history...


That is the part that sucks abut being atheist. I know he will just be gone and never get a real commeupance that he has to face. It would be so nice to believe that there were some form of afterlife to punish him for all the damage he does.
 
2013-04-18 06:03:40 PM  
"You see a gazebo..."
 
2013-04-18 06:04:35 PM  

dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 468x240]

See, people?  Literally.


It's funny because all the folks playing were girls, in the 80's

Seriously, I'm the only girl I know who played D&D in the 80's and I had a penis back then.
 
2013-04-18 06:05:15 PM  
Well yes. Look at me. Don't wanna end up like me.
 
2013-04-18 06:05:31 PM  

2wolves: "You see a gazebo..."


I call out to it.
 
2013-04-18 06:05:41 PM  

odinsposse: Rhypskallion: If he cared about his viewers, he would tell them to stay away from alcohol.   With alcohol, there are decades of statistics showing the lives that have been destroyed.

That all remind me, I want to go to a D&D game on Friday.  What type of beer should I bring?

[bythepint.com image 680x510]


Oh.
My.
God.

You can buy bottled dragon's milk now?!
I've only ever seen it at a micro brewers in Berkeley, and they were always out of it.
Best damn beer I have ever tasted. Thanks for posting. I thought I would have to brew a clone someday.

Pat is right by the way. D&D has destroyed my weekends. Guess that's what I get for hosting / DMing.
 
2013-04-18 06:06:36 PM  
I can't believe that there is enough stupid in the world to keep Pat Robertson fed ... much less enough to make him and the rest of the snake-oil salesmen rich.
 
2013-04-18 06:10:12 PM  

Arachnophobe: 2wolves: "You see a gazebo..."

I call out to it.


Nothing happens.
 
2013-04-18 06:10:23 PM  

Arachnophobe: Felgraf: It's not a lightsaber! It's a psionic spirit blade!

/(I shall spread the buttery justice of Therin over the toast of your iniquity!"
//Such a good movie.

You're the first person I've seen outside my group of friends that knows that movies. Favoriting you with that quote. :D

/I seduce the priestess!


My husband's gaming group was watching JourneyQuest (oy!) again this last Tuesday. We watch Dorkness Rising at least once or twice a year. Still waiting for Hands of Fate, though!
 
2013-04-18 06:10:55 PM  
Haven't been in a D&D campaign since college.  Any that I attempt to get in seem to never get off the ground or dissolve.
 
2013-04-18 06:11:50 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: The deftly fast bard known as Robertson quietly strolled into the court yard that day. It was a wonderful day with the sun up high, the air cool with a soft spring breeze and townsfolk hustling amongst the flowing crowds. Robertson took up position nearby an aging weeping willow, standing tall in his brightly adorned garb. He slowly but with great intent withdrew his instrument, wonderfully inlaid with rivulets of mithril and carved from the bleached bones of a dragon.

*rolls charisma check
*check failed

No sooner than he arrived, entire throngs of crowds began to gather nearby some to cheer but most to jeer.

*dexterity check
*check passed

Soon the noise of the crowd easily overtook the failing bard and he retreated from the town square finding a nearby shadow to hide while the mob passed. He hid in the shadow thinking to himself "If only they knew". For what the crowd had no idea was that the evil Baron had hired the Bard to distract the townsfolk while he had his men slip into the mines and steal what they could.


Then he was eaten by a grue.
 
2013-04-18 06:12:17 PM  

dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 468x240]

See, people?  Literally.


Came for Black Leaf. Leaving satisfied.
 
2013-04-18 06:14:50 PM  

RatMaster999: digitalrain: orclover: D&nD has created at least 1 life.  Wife an I met at a D&D game.

My husband and I did too.

My wife and I did, too.  Stole her from the DM.


Semi-ditto. I definitely thought the DM was hot. Never did get anything good in the game by sleeping with him though. Still don't get anything. Bastard ran a homebrew campaign set at the 1889 Paris World's Fair last year and I didn't get to play. Frozen marbles in the bed time... :)
 
2013-04-18 06:14:54 PM  

DerAppie: [25.media.tumblr.com image 714x429]


He wears a disguise to look like human guys. But he's not a man he's a Chicken Boo
 
2013-04-18 06:15:20 PM  

mitEj: I know that I have died thanks to D&D hundreds of times in the 25+ years I have been playing.
Clearly he knows what he is talking about


Well, as proven here: http://rsbl.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/9/1/20120850.short monsters are people.  Plenty of monsters have been destroyed.  Thus I guess he's right.

(That link is to a research paper entitled "Monsters are people too".  Never mind the lead author is 12, it's real science.  For a bonus he used D&D images in the research.)
 
2013-04-18 06:15:38 PM  

2wolves: Arachnophobe: 2wolves: "You see a gazebo..."

I call out to it.

Nothing happens.


I bet it's a mimic. Better poke it with the ten foot pole.
 
2013-04-18 06:16:39 PM  
D&D did more for abstinance than Pats "church"
 
2013-04-18 06:17:43 PM  

2wolves: Arachnophobe: 2wolves: "You see a gazebo..."

I call out to it.

Nothing happens.


OK. I sheathe my sword and take out my bow and arrows. Anything?
 
2013-04-18 06:17:58 PM  
D&D enhanced my life. That other one destroyed my life, the one that rhymes with Shmalladium.
 
2013-04-18 06:18:24 PM  

The Muthaship: Silverstaff: The Pastor made it clear that unless I brought in all my D&D books and "satanic idols" to be burned at the Church and confessed and repented in front of the Church that I was secretly a Satanist among them and repented that sin, I wouldn't be welcome at that Church anymore.

I don't think any in history ever didn't happen as much as this didn't happen.


Is that engrish?

I believe it. Met many "Christians" lately? Even the self proclaimed "not horribad" ones are delusional about d&d.

I don't even play d&d anymore, but I still use it as a "are you an evil, shiat eating christian" litmus test.

The problem is, its a fantasy game, but its the jesus freaks that literally believe in demons and devils coming to tear their souls out. Irony, or something.
 
2013-04-18 06:18:43 PM  
Criminey, do I gots to do eveything myself?

i.qkme.me
 
2013-04-18 06:20:27 PM  

dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 468x240]

See, people?  Literally.


came for this.

totes satisfied.
 
2013-04-18 06:22:24 PM  
I can remember back in the 80s when my mom tried to take my D&D books away from me (not because of Satan, but because she thought I was wasting too much time on it). I simply told her "Would you rather I be out running around drinking and doing drugs?"

I retained my books.

Of course it was only a few years later that I discovered alcohol did actually cure me of my D&D habit.
 
2013-04-18 06:26:16 PM  
 
2013-04-18 06:31:53 PM  

2wolves: "You see a gazebo..."


I fire an arrow at the gazebo
 
2013-04-18 06:32:44 PM  

Diogenes: Not only are his thinking and philosophy archaic, so are his targets.  I wonder what he thinks about Pogs?


POGs are the twiddly-winks of SATAN!

Except for Alf POGs. Remember Alf?
 
2013-04-18 06:35:46 PM  
I stepped on a four sided dice as a child, and it has scarred me for life
 
2013-04-18 06:38:54 PM  

Aidan: RatMaster999: digitalrain: orclover: D&nD has created at least 1 life.  Wife an I met at a D&D game.

My husband and I did too.

My wife and I did, too.  Stole her from the DM.

Semi-ditto. I definitely thought the DM was hot. Never did get anything good in the game by sleeping with him though. Still don't get anything. Bastard ran a homebrew campaign set at the 1889 Paris World's Fair last year and I didn't get to play. Frozen marbles in the bed time... :)


Other than him, I was the DM most of the time.  I never really gave her anything too terribly good either.  And if I did, I balanced it out by giving something good to the others as well.  That sounds like an awesome campaign you had to miss out on.  Yup, definitely time for frozen marbles. ;)
 
2013-04-18 06:38:55 PM  
I wouLd have to agree. I know of 3 guys that were forced to drop out of college because theirs grades were so bad resulting from weeks of D&d. One was a nuclear engineering scholarship winner and joined the navy after his midterms posted at 0.9.
 
2013-04-18 06:39:33 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: He was probably referring to the cartoon.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 742x572]

Stars like Willie Ames and Donny Most really didn't have a career after this flop.


Ironically, after that show was cancelled, Willie Ames became a Born Again Christian and then starred in Charles in Charge for a few years. Then he did a series of direct to VHS shows about Bibleman, which is what Batman would have been like if a Bible flew threw his window instead of a bat.

SPOILER ALERT: There was a script made of D&D's series finale, but the show was canned just before production started on it. It revealed that Venger was the Dungeon Master's son, and the group's final test to earn their way home is to redeem him in order to free Venger of the evil that corrupted him. There's copies of the script on the net if you want to read it for yourself.
 
2013-04-18 06:42:30 PM  
Pat Robertson: 0
Gazebo: 1
 
2013-04-18 06:42:33 PM  
There are a few people who get in too deep, but I wouldn't expect more than in any other hobby. One might as well say that collecting stamps has literally destroyed people's lives.
 
2013-04-18 06:42:36 PM  

Rreal: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 468x240]

See, people?  Literally.

It's funny because all the folks playing were girls, in the 80's

Seriously, I'm the only girl I know who played D&D in the 80's and I had a penis back then.


My god, D&D really does destroy things.
 
2013-04-18 06:44:26 PM  

Chainsaw Turd Elf: I've been working on a rap song for a long time, but so far the only rhyme I have is:
Smokin' Ex Lax Like Gary Gygax


That shiat is dope. G would have approved.
 
2013-04-18 06:44:27 PM  
lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-04-18 06:47:01 PM  
This is the funniest shiat I've read while doing internet inventory in the back room of the game shop I work at part time.

/Hate 4th Ed., the new playtesting kit for D&D has me hoping.  Character generation has a d20 Black Company feel to it.
//Robertson is definitely an Ordo Hereticus Amalathian
///Check out the new Torment project by Monte Cook - just had it's Kickstarter and busted some records.
 
2013-04-18 06:47:34 PM  
Okay, being against abortion, well everyone can have an opinion.
Against the pill, well I guess you don't have to use it.
Condoms are evil, you're pushing it.
Dungeons and dragons the next victim of reproduction control?  You've crossed the line.
My level 4 paladin seeks righteous vengeance.
 
2013-04-18 06:49:26 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: He was probably referring to the cartoon.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 742x572]

Stars like Willie Ames and Donny Most really didn't have a career after this flop.


Here is an episode of the show as an actual game session.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3FZnD21iO0&list=PL18A86A9EE3A33190
 
2013-04-18 06:50:39 PM  
Jesus Saves, and takes half damage!
 
2013-04-18 06:51:53 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: No arrow to the knee reference yet?

/Y'all be slippin'


Ever read "Name of the Wind"?
 
2013-04-18 06:52:22 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: He was probably referring to the cartoon.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 742x572]

Stars like Willie Ames and Donny Most really didn't have a career after this flop.


I don't think so; he said it destroyed lives, not minds.
 
2013-04-18 06:54:56 PM  
My D&D group is on their way over with pizza as I type this, so I'm getting a HUGE kick.
 
2013-04-18 06:57:22 PM  

gilgigamesh: Katolu: xanadian: 1983 called, it wanted its manufactured outrage back...

No kidding. It's played by middle-aged professional family guys now.

My group consists of 7 guys. 5 of us are married, 4 with kids.

We're all in our thirties and forties, mostly with advanced degrees.

Thursday nights we get tore up on fine weed and craft beers, order pizza and run thru Temple of Elemental Evil, using 1st edition rules.

/yeah! Its thursday!


Edition is best edition.
 
2013-04-18 06:57:29 PM  
Is it like 1980 all over?

Man, you're digging deep in the barrel of fear if you're coming up with D&D.

I mean, what about those teenagers, with their long hair and dungarees...
 
2013-04-18 06:58:41 PM  

Weaver95: tortilla burger: D&D teaches valuable life lessons. I've learned that it's better to cast magic missile at the darkness rather than curse it.

Or something.

D&D taught me that dead orcs are easier to loot than live ones.


D&D taught me to stay the hell away from trees.
 
2013-04-18 06:59:21 PM  

Arachnophobe: Felgraf: Arachnophobe: Felgraf

It's really the best D&D movie ever made. (And they may be working on a followup? Can't recall)

They are! It was Kickstartered and fully funded. It's called 'The Gamers: Hands of Fate'.


Wait, what is this awesomeness of which you speak? A good D&D movie?
 
2013-04-18 07:00:25 PM  
Pat Robertson has gone full 1981.  You never go full 1981.
 
2013-04-18 07:02:51 PM  

Kanemano: Because People in power are Stupid: He was probably referring to the cartoon.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 742x572]

Stars like Willie Ames and Donny Most really didn't have a career after this flop.

FLOP ???? that was the greatest single cartoon in all of human history.


I enjoyed the show but I always thought it was incredibly lame that the cavalier had a magic shield but no sword or other type of weapon.
 
2013-04-18 07:03:27 PM  

loonatic112358: 2wolves: "You see a gazebo..."

I fire an arrow at the gazebo


Try casting Magic Missile.
 
2013-04-18 07:04:56 PM  
Some religious jerks got our D&D group banned from meeting at school when I was in 8th grade.  Douches the lot of them.
 
2013-04-18 07:06:10 PM  
I absolutely, positively, :LOVE  Dorkness Rising.

I am pissed it is off of Netflix now...
 
2013-04-18 07:07:10 PM  
I could've sworn, that in the D&D Monster Manual II, there was something called a "Patrobertson." Or, was that a Stench Kow? It was hard reading down in the sewers by torchlight.
 
2013-04-18 07:07:51 PM  
Daymn! It's been eons since I've heard Patso give one of his classic anti-D&D screeds.

Do people even play D&D anymore?

i46.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-18 07:08:14 PM  
No love for Shadow Over Mystara?

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-18 07:10:03 PM  
I remember back in the late 80's, some wacko church announced an event for everyone to bring in all of the albums, books, and other evil paraphernalia of that most decadent and horrible of Satanic cultural icons...Mr. Ed.

No really.  Mr Ed.

And it was no joke either.  The pastor fervently believed that Mr. Ed was sending Satanic messages to kids.  A character from a TV show that, even then, had been off the air for 30 years.

And there was a rally and a bonfire, and hundreds of people came, and they all had Mr. Ed junk.

It was at that point that any slender remaining faith I had in the non-idiocy of humanity evaporated.
 
2013-04-18 07:10:11 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Daymn! It's been eons since I've heard Patso give one of his classic anti-D&D screeds.

Do people even play D&D anymore?


Absolutely! That and all other kinds of tabletop RPG's. I think he's throwing D&D out there as a generalization, because he probably isn't aware of the existence of Pathfinder, World of Darkness, Ars Magica, and Cthulhu- my favorite. It's how I bond with some of my oldest, closest friends. Sometimes we get nothing done because we're laughing hilariously but it's still social time well spent.
 
2013-04-18 07:10:16 PM  

Parthenogenetic: No love for Shadow Over Mystara?


Rumor has it that Capcom is going make a re-release, like they're doing with DuckTales.
 
2013-04-18 07:12:27 PM  

lamecomedian: Criminey, do I gots to do eveything myself?

[i.qkme.me image 436x490]




i.imgur.com

I prefer this version
 
2013-04-18 07:13:31 PM  
DnD did corrupt the hell out (into?) me.  One moment I was an innocent nerd casting a spell, next moment I was a cynical smartass who realized that organized religion is bullshiat--thirty freaking years ago.  Seriously, is the clueless old Pharisee's next rant going to be on the corrupting influence of ragtime music?

Remember when there was a moral panic back in the 80s about Ritual Satanic Abuse?  I worked in a courthouse once where a psychiatrist was sued for about 5 million bucks between two plaintiffs for planting in their heads that their issues were the result of RSA.  In other words, she was even battier than her patients.  What's really sad is that the state psychiatric board didn't pull her license even after she lost the lawsuits...
 
2013-04-18 07:15:14 PM  

Parthenogenetic: No love for Shadow Over Mystara?

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]

[i.imgur.com image 525x355]

[i.imgur.com image 525x355]


That was one of the things I loved about RPGs. One of the first acceptable outlets for those who don't follow prescribed gender norms (girl thief).

/and girls in D&D could be seriously badass
 
2013-04-18 07:16:42 PM  

The Muthaship: Silverstaff: uncool preacher dude story

I don't think any in history ever didn't happen as much as this didn't happen.


You are smoking gazebo scrapings.
 
2013-04-18 07:17:04 PM  

Peki: Parthenogenetic: No love for Shadow Over Mystara?

That was one of the things I loved about RPGs. One of the first acceptable outlets for those who don't follow prescribed gender norms (girl thief).

/and girls in D&D could be seriously badass


This. My knife-throwing bard is not to be messed with.
 
2013-04-18 07:19:58 PM  

digitalrain: Arachnophobe: Felgraf: Arachnophobe: Felgraf

It's really the best D&D movie ever made. (And they may be working on a followup? Can't recall)

They are! It was Kickstartered and fully funded. It's called 'The Gamers: Hands of Fate'.

Wait, what is this awesomeness of which you speak? A good D&D movie?


Dorkness Rising. If you are a gamer and you have a sense of humor about yourself and your buddies, you'll love it. What makes it extra awesome is that the guys who wrote and starred in it are all actual gamers themselves, so it's not like you've got a Big Bang Theory situation where writers are tossing out what they think gamers are like.

TV's Vinnie: Daymn! It's been eons since I've heard Patso give one of his classic anti-D&D screeds.

Do people even play D&D anymore?


Sure do! My group meets basically whenever we can to run 3.5 modules and original content the DM's twisted little mind comes up with. And we're starting up a Deadlands campaign that I'll be running. I look forward to finding creative ways to work MLP references into a horror game.
 
2013-04-18 07:21:48 PM  
Are you kidding?  Dungeons and Dragons sessions are where I always brought home the most tail and I met my future spouse playing in high school.  It may have helped that I was the only woman playing.  Yay geeks!
 
2013-04-18 07:24:35 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: Parthenogenetic: No love for Shadow Over Mystara?

Rumor has it that Capcom is going make a re-release, like they're doing with DuckTales.


Sweet!  "Chronicles of Mystara is set for a June digital release on Playstation 3, Xbox 360, Wii U, and Windows PC"

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-18 07:27:14 PM  
This is a repeat from my middle school.
 
2013-04-18 07:28:35 PM  
Gotta disagree with Pat on this one.  D&D helped me _find_ God.
 
2013-04-18 07:33:02 PM  

Arachnophobe: so it's not like you've got a Big Bang Theory situation where writers are tossing out what they think gamers are like.


Now that explains so much.
 
2013-04-18 07:33:25 PM  

Kibbler: I remember back in the late 80's, some wacko church announced an event for everyone to bring in all of the albums, books, and other evil paraphernalia of that most decadent and horrible of Satanic cultural icons...Mr. Ed.

No really.  Mr Ed.

And it was no joke either.  The pastor fervently believed that Mr. Ed was sending Satanic messages to kids.  A character from a TV show that, even then, had been off the air for 30 years.

And there was a rally and a bonfire, and hundreds of people came, and they all had Mr. Ed junk.

It was at that point that any slender remaining faith I had in the non-idiocy of humanity evaporated.


Paging The Muthaship....
 
2013-04-18 07:34:34 PM  

Peki: Parthenogenetic: No love for Shadow Over Mystara?

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]

[i.imgur.com image 525x355]

[i.imgur.com image 525x355]

That was one of the things I loved about RPGs. One of the first acceptable outlets for those who don't follow prescribed gender norms (girl thief).

/and girls in D&D could be seriously badass


True that, my last character was a half-elf female cleric of Wee Jas.  took her from 1st to 15th level before the campaign ended.  She would have been a fun one to take epic.

Come to think of it, I had a pretty good run of characters that would have been fun to take epic before the campaigns ended for varying reasons,  17th level half-dragon male fighter, 18th level human male swordsage, 15th level Tiefling female swashbuckler who was dubbed the onion slicer, duel wielded a rapier/shortsword combination.
 
2013-04-18 07:34:51 PM  

Dixon Cider: I can't wait till he dies and is very disappointed!
If not... I hope he is eternally assraped, rape-rape style, for all the lives this POS has destroyed with his ignorant and bigoted words.

How many kids committed suicide or lived in mental anguish because their parents were listening to what this taintwad said?
He ranks up there with any destructive religious zealots in history...


THIS THIS THIS times 666.

Plus, he has a creepy voice.
 
2013-04-18 07:34:57 PM  
This jackoff has been spouting this since the '70s

/used to collect newspaper clippings with all the things the fundies said about D&D
//could probably make a buck off selling that binder if I still had it
 
2013-04-18 07:36:42 PM  
Anyone remember the special on 60 minutes or 20/20 or something in the 80's that proved D&D was a bunch of Satan worshippers?  I can't find it on youtube. Anyway, my Mom saw that and wouldn't let me play with my evil Satanist D&D friends in junior high.  She thought she was saving my life, but was actually saving my reputation.
 
2013-04-18 07:37:57 PM  
Holy farking 1980s flashback.  The same bullshiz then.  He can't get any new material in 30 years?

/ failed intelligence saving throw
 
2013-04-18 07:38:38 PM  
I don't think i've ever understood the hatred directed towards D&D players.
 
2013-04-18 07:42:09 PM  
D&D blows. there are much better games out there people. don't roleplay with crap just because its famous crap!
 
2013-04-18 07:46:23 PM  
Brought to you by the fine people at Terminate and Stay Resident.
 
2013-04-18 07:51:57 PM  
D&D didn't ruin my life, but it did prevent me from finding a girlfriend throughout high school.
 
2013-04-18 07:54:29 PM  

keypusher: Paging The Muthaship....


Word.

That sh*t never happened either.

These preacher anecdotes are so cliche`, I keep expecting Keving Bacon to dance his way into this thread.

/I dislike preachers more than anyone on here
//still not buying it
 
2013-04-18 08:04:43 PM  
I'm not scared of destruction . . . I didn't spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage.


/ best. x-files. ever.
 
2013-04-18 08:05:29 PM  

The Muthaship: keypusher: Paging The Muthaship....

Word.

That sh*t never happened either.

These preacher anecdotes are so cliche`, I keep expecting Keving Bacon to dance his way into this thread.

/I dislike preachers more than anyone on here
//still not buying it



Then you are a fool.


I LIVED that shiat for 7 years, forced to go to a Pentecostal church and school. The "Pastor" was a fire and brimstone southern baptist trained evangelical. Everything those two folks above said happened to me in one way or another. D&D, ALL rock music, ALL TV shows were satanically inspired and if you listened/played with them you were on your way to burn in hell for all eternity.

You know jack shiat about fundamental christian cults. WE do.
 
2013-04-18 08:08:45 PM  
 
2013-04-18 08:09:02 PM  

Magnanimous_J: downstairs: jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.

All Children, Devil's Children

I heard it as "Against Christ, Devil's Children"


I heard it meant "bisexual."
 
2013-04-18 08:09:41 PM  

Ned Stark: D&D blows. there are much better games out there people. don't roleplay with crap just because its famous crap!


I liked everything up through 3.5....

/ would play Pathfinder if I had the time AND if there were players near me
// at least I have my MMOs, but I remember having way more fun with RPGs back in the 80's-early 90's...
/// Pat wouldn't approve of my SWTOR character; Sith Inquisitor (Assassin), and Dark-side choices as much as possible...
 
2013-04-18 08:15:16 PM  

kiwimoogle84: TV's Vinnie: Daymn! It's been eons since I've heard Patso give one of his classic anti-D&D screeds.

Do people even play D&D anymore?

Absolutely! That and all other kinds of tabletop RPG's. I think he's throwing D&D out there as a generalization, because he probably isn't aware of the existence of Pathfinder, World of Darkness, Ars Magica, and Cthulhu- my favorite. It's how I bond with some of my oldest, closest friends. Sometimes we get nothing done because we're laughing hilariously but it's still social time well spent.


Those inside jokes can be hilarious...Not to mention the looks one can get at a restaurant while a group of middle agers are laughing like nuts and talking about "that time we packed Dan's body in a bag"....
 
2013-04-18 08:15:52 PM  

DerAppie: [25.media.tumblr.com image 714x429]



Ctrl-F "chicken"

ArkAngel: He wears a disguise to look like human guys. But he's not a man he's a Chicken Boo



Damn.

/ hat tip
// although technical it's You wear a disguise . . .  but you're not a man . . .
\\\ pet chicken peeve
 
2013-04-18 08:17:41 PM  

jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.


This reminds me ... I need to watch Detroit Rock City again.

/great movie
 
2013-04-18 08:18:18 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: I can count three ordained ministers that were in my college D&D group.


That's a pretty cleric-heavy party.
 
2013-04-18 08:18:57 PM  

eudemonist: Gotta disagree with Pat on this one.  D&D helped me _find_ God.


Did you kill him/her?

Worst idea ever putting stats in the books for gods...made em targets!
 
2013-04-18 08:20:13 PM  
Damn, he's still beating that horse?  I thought that stopped being a concern once the books started costing as much as a transmission replacement.

/$40+ for a book you're just going to 'update' in about a year?  Bite me, WotC.
//Sticking with my old ones.
 
2013-04-18 08:22:15 PM  

Arachnophobe: Jument: When I was in high school I was very into D&D and other RPGs. At the time there was a media backlash, one of the first ones probably. At the time we had a house cleaner in once a week. One day my Mom said "the house cleaner found your D&D books, she was horrified and told me I need to make you stop playing". I was quite shocked. Then she said "so I fired her".

Please high-five your mom for us.


give her a hug and thank her for being a good mother
 
2013-04-18 08:24:33 PM  

Okoboji: Damn, he's still beating that horse?  I thought that stopped being a concern once the books started costing as much as a transmission replacement.

/$40+ for a book you're just going to 'update' in about a year?  Bite me, WotC.
//Sticking with my old ones.


Used to work at a gaming store (as in Magic and Doomtown and Heroclicks and MageWar and RPGs-type gaming). We used to call them Lizards of the Toast.

/only liked the books for the artwork anyway
//made lots of tracings of the V:TM books
 
2013-04-18 08:29:53 PM  

DigitalCoffee: Pat, I'm sorry, but it's too late. You've awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.


Maybe he'll roll up a fire-using mage so he can avenge his paladin.
 
2013-04-18 08:29:54 PM  
He's probably still mad that he wasted a +3 arrow on a Gazebo one time.........
 
2013-04-18 08:34:47 PM  

neongoats: Antimatter: neongoats: Facetious_Speciest: What if I'm playing a LG cleric of Yahweh? Still evil?

YHWH is at BEST lawful neutral with evil tendencies. On a good day.

Old testament, I dunno, i'd go more with Lawful evil.  NT, however, would be neutral good I think.

Only the Yeshua cult. They cribbed the portfolio of Ilmater the crying god.


Ilmater was cribbed from Issek of the Jug, noobling.
 
2013-04-18 08:36:28 PM  

FarkinHostile: I LIVED that shiat for 7 years, forced to go to a Pentecostal church and school. The "Pastor" was a fire and brimstone southern baptist trained evangelical. Everything those two folks above said happened to me in one way or another. D&D, ALL rock music, ALL TV shows were satanically inspired and if you listened/played with them you were on your way to burn in hell for all eternity.

You know jack shiat about fundamental christian cults. WE do.


I am a novice pastor (I got my bachellors degree but cannot join a church because I will not swear allegiance to a fake leige)

I played D&D and enjoyed it.
 
2013-04-18 08:37:12 PM  

Uzzah: Bree yark!


Righteously Old School
 
2013-04-18 08:37:49 PM  

sassyfrancis: If he said something like, "Xbox or PS3 games will destroy people's lives and you should stay away from them.", well, his audience would abandon him in droves since most have them and know they're harmless.


Which is funny, because D&D is mostly harmless. Whereas people do actually get harmful addictions to game play.
 
2013-04-18 08:40:07 PM  

Lando Lincoln: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 468x240]

See, people?  Literally.

What kind of DM doesn't allow a saving throw against traps?

LAME.


The kind that makes saving throws for you behind the screen. They're all conniving, die fudging bastards.
 
2013-04-18 08:40:16 PM  

Sock Ruh Tease: Anderson's Pooper: I can count three ordained ministers that were in my college D&D group.

That's a pretty cleric-heavy party.


Between the plate armor and the endless healing the battles must take forever.
 
2013-04-18 08:41:40 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Daymn! It's been eons since I've heard Patso give one of his classic anti-D&D screeds.

Do people even play D&D anymore?

[i46.tinypic.com image 500x382]


Most Friday nights unless someone has to work really early Saturday.
 
2013-04-18 08:44:04 PM  

Parthenogenetic: No love for Shadow Over Mystara?

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]

i.imgur.com

[i.imgur.com image 525x355]


pics.livejournal.com

Not the pic I wanted, but my google-fu is failing me today...
 
2013-04-18 08:45:16 PM  
I blame all of you for permitting Pat Roberston's existence.
 
2013-04-18 08:48:43 PM  
www.sjgames.com
 
2013-04-18 08:49:29 PM  

FloridaWombat: This is the funniest shiat I've read while doing internet inventory in the back room of the game shop I work at part time.

/Hate 4th Ed., the new playtesting kit for D&D has me hoping.  Character generation has a d20 Black Company feel to it.
//Robertson is definitely an Ordo Hereticus Amalathian
///Check out the new Torment project by Monte Cook - just had it's Kickstarter and busted some records.


If you want funny, you should read the review of FATAL over at RPG.net sometime (might be considered NSFW in some senses, given the nature of FATAL necessarily involves discussing things like having to determine your characters maximum anal circumference in case anything large is inserted into your character during your adventures):

http://www.rpg.net/reviews/archive/14/14567.phtml
 
2013-04-18 08:52:13 PM  
DRTFA Just seeing that tools face flash on my TV while channel surfing makes me wan to puke.
 
2013-04-18 08:58:30 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: Fourth edition D&D IS a tool of Satan!

/Pathfinder is much better.
//Hero System 5th ed. is the greatest tabletop RPG of all time.
///Of. All. Time!


HERO 5th Ed....testify brother! But it does take a dedicated group to play it.
 
2013-04-18 09:03:09 PM  

Tiiba: http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0555.html


GITIP always relevant.

Orclover is a handle older than the internet.
 
2013-04-18 09:04:19 PM  
It's OK Pat.

I too wish we were back in a simpler time where demonizing things solves all our problems.

The only time I ever thought D&D was a tool for Satan is when my pop stepped on a d4 while barefoot.
Took one extra special whupping for leaving toys on the floor that time.
 
2013-04-18 09:08:00 PM  

FarkinHostile: Everything those two folks above said happened to me in one way or another.


Yeah, you're misunderstanding me (partly because I was trying to have a little fun), it's not that things similar to those stories don't happen.  I just didn't believe either one of these particular yarns due to a number of factors not worthy greater of greater exposition.

Sorry the preacher treated you badly.  Like I said, I despise them on the whole.
 
2013-04-18 09:08:20 PM  

ciberido: neongoats: Antimatter: neongoats: Facetious_Speciest: What if I'm playing a LG cleric of Yahweh? Still evil?

YHWH is at BEST lawful neutral with evil tendencies. On a good day.

Old testament, I dunno, i'd go more with Lawful evil.  NT, however, would be neutral good I think.

Only the Yeshua cult. They cribbed the portfolio of Ilmater the crying god.

Ilmater was cribbed from Issek of the Jug, noobling.


That's my favorite Fritz Leiber story.
 
2013-04-18 09:18:15 PM  

Fano: [www.sjgames.com image 450x581]


SJG once had a GURPS system for using action figures as characters in a gaming scenario. Imagine Mum-Ra Vs Megatron or whatever. Someone used to think he was epic ownage hot sh*t with his Master of the Universe action figures until someone pulled out some "Heroes of The Bible" figures and messed him up.
 
2013-04-18 09:25:44 PM  
Probably hasn't destroyed as many lives as religion.
 
2013-04-18 09:29:00 PM  

Jim_Callahan: downstairs: Wow, Pat.  Did you fly back to 1984 or something?

Damn, I haven't heard a D&D/Satanism reference in like 25 years.

Blast from the past.

1984's about the last time his brain hadn't yet been rendered into swiss cheese by senility, if ever.

Ringshadow:
/D&D, Old World of Darkness, Call of Cthulu, whatever,

So... hundreds of those lost lives were you, then?

//Once had a character not make it out of the introduction scene.  I think our GM might have been mistaking it for Paranoia.




3 rounds in an old revolver and now I'm insane.
 
2013-04-18 09:31:14 PM  
My HS German teacher told me I was going to Hell for D&D.
 
2013-04-18 09:33:53 PM  

Kibbler: I remember back in the late 80's, some wacko church announced an event for everyone to bring in all of the albums, books, and other evil paraphernalia of that most decadent and horrible of Satanic cultural icons...Mr. Ed.

No really.  Mr Ed.

And it was no joke either.  The pastor fervently believed that Mr. Ed was sending Satanic messages to kids.  A character from a TV show that, even then, had been off the air for 30 years.

And there was a rally and a bonfire, and hundreds of people came, and they all had Mr. Ed junk.

It was at that point that any slender remaining faith I had in the non-idiocy of humanity evaporated.


Odd, considering the Bible features a talking donkey.
 
2013-04-18 09:37:09 PM  

FarkinHostile: The Muthaship: keypusher: Paging The Muthaship....

Word.

That sh*t never happened either.

These preacher anecdotes are so cliche`, I keep expecting Keving Bacon to dance his way into this thread.

/I dislike preachers more than anyone on here
//still not buying it


Then you are a fool.


I LIVED that shiat for 7 years, forced to go to a Pentecostal church and school. The "Pastor" was a fire and brimstone southern baptist trained evangelical. Everything those two folks above said happened to me in one way or another. D&D, ALL rock music, ALL TV shows were satanically inspired and if you listened/played with them you were on your way to burn in hell for all eternity.

You know jack shiat about fundamental christian cults. WE do.


I lived that shiat too, for much more than seven years, and learned enough to notice another thing that almost surely never happened: a Pentecostal church headed up by a "southern baptist trained evangelical."

 And sure, I knew lots of people who believed in backward masking and that D&D, Procter & Gamble, and even the Society for Creative Anachronism were Satanic fronts.  Nevertheless, the two earlier posters' stories were both horseshiat.  And  you appear to be full of shiat too.

Sorry.
 
2013-04-18 09:40:24 PM  

buckler: Odd, considering the Bible features a talking donkey.


That was God-inspired.

Mr. Ed was the result of the Debil, making you THINK it's God talking to you.

/has had this same debate over witchcraft vs. miracles way too often
 
2013-04-18 09:42:49 PM  

kiwimoogle84: loonatic112358: 2wolves: "You see a gazebo..."

I fire an arrow at the gazebo

Try casting Magic Missile.


*Unf*

only seems to have left a sticky residue on the wood
 
2013-04-18 09:46:42 PM  

keypusher: FarkinHostile: The Muthaship: keypusher: Paging The Muthaship....

Word.

That sh*t never happened either.

These preacher anecdotes are so cliche`, I keep expecting Keving Bacon to dance his way into this thread.

/I dislike preachers more than anyone on here
//still not buying it


Then you are a fool.


I LIVED that shiat for 7 years, forced to go to a Pentecostal church and school. The "Pastor" was a fire and brimstone southern baptist trained evangelical. Everything those two folks above said happened to me in one way or another. D&D, ALL rock music, ALL TV shows were satanically inspired and if you listened/played with them you were on your way to burn in hell for all eternity.

You know jack shiat about fundamental christian cults. WE do.

I lived that shiat too, for much more than seven years, and learned enough to notice another thing that almost surely never happened: a Pentecostal church headed up by a "southern baptist trained evangelical."

 And sure, I knew lots of people who believed in backward masking and that D&D, Procter & Gamble, and even the Society for Creative Anachronism were Satanic fronts.  Nevertheless, the two earlier posters' stories were both horseshiat.  And  you appear to be full of shiat too.

Sorry.


Yeah. People never change denomination, or go to schools that are also a different denomination. I use the term school loosely.
 
2013-04-18 09:47:24 PM  

loonatic112358: kiwimoogle84: loonatic112358: 2wolves: "You see a gazebo..."

I fire an arrow at the gazebo

Try casting Magic Missile.

*Unf*

only seems to have left a sticky residue on the wood


Why, did you spill your Mountain Dew?
 
2013-04-18 09:47:44 PM  

Insult Comic Bishounen: [imageshack.us image 480x360]
Is Bunkers & Badasses okay?


It's fine so long as you roll a d6.
 
2013-04-18 09:47:54 PM  

Farking Canuck: Sock Ruh Tease: Anderson's Pooper: I can count three ordained ministers that were in my college D&D group.

That's a pretty cleric-heavy party.

Between the plate armor and the endless healing the battles must take forever.


a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2013-04-18 09:48:42 PM  

keypusher: FarkinHostile: The Muthaship: keypusher: Paging The Muthaship....

Word.

That sh*t never happened either.

These preacher anecdotes are so cliche`, I keep expecting Keving Bacon to dance his way into this thread.

/I dislike preachers more than anyone on here
//still not buying it


Then you are a fool.


I LIVED that shiat for 7 years, forced to go to a Pentecostal church and school. The "Pastor" was a fire and brimstone southern baptist trained evangelical. Everything those two folks above said happened to me in one way or another. D&D, ALL rock music, ALL TV shows were satanically inspired and if you listened/played with them you were on your way to burn in hell for all eternity.

You know jack shiat about fundamental christian cults. WE do.

I lived that shiat too, for much more than seven years, and learned enough to notice another thing that almost surely never happened: a Pentecostal church headed up by a "southern baptist trained evangelical."

 And sure, I knew lots of people who believed in backward masking and that D&D, Procter & Gamble, and even the Society for Creative Anachronism were Satanic fronts.  Nevertheless, the two earlier posters' stories were both horseshiat.  And  you appear to be full of shiat too.

Sorry.


No you didn't. You're just trying to be fark-edgy.
 
2013-04-18 09:48:44 PM  

xanadian: 1983 called, it wanted its manufactured outrage back...


THIS.

Sheesh, Pat...senility kicking in?
 
2013-04-18 09:58:36 PM  

ATTENTION RIGHT WING JERKWADS



at least one of whom has posted to this thread (albeit with surprising sanity) and knows who s/he is:

The claim in the headline is an example of an unsupported claim.

The proper response to such a claim is "[citation needed]".

The proper response to "[citation needed]" is not "gogoogleit".

If Pat Robertson knows that someone's life was destroyed by playing D&D, then he should be able to provide some evidence, rather than saying "gogoogleit".

The proper response to "[citation needed]" is either to provide a citation or to STFU.
 
2013-04-18 10:06:43 PM  

Jim_Callahan: downstairs: Wow, Pat.  Did you fly back to 1984 or something?

Damn, I haven't heard a D&D/Satanism reference in like 25 years.

Blast from the past.

1984's about the last time his brain hadn't yet been rendered into swiss cheese by senility, if ever.

Ringshadow:
/D&D, Old World of Darkness, Call of Cthulu, whatever,

So... hundreds of those lost lives were you, then?

//Once had a character not make it out of the introduction scene.  I think our GM might have been mistaking it for Paranoia.


CoC has that as an inherent problem...if you're true to the books, everybody dies.

Tricky to GM, imho, you've got to focus on a lot of non-mythos stuff, hint at the dark powers, and use them VERY sparingly.

Paranoia, otoh, I loved GMing...with six clones each, you can have 150 percent casualty rate on one adventure, and your players will think they've done well :)

Of course, my players accuse me of running ALL my games like Paranoia...
 
2013-04-18 10:07:05 PM  

neongoats: keypusher: FarkinHostile: The Muthaship: keypusher: Paging The Muthaship....

Word.

That sh*t never happened either.

These preacher anecdotes are so cliche`, I keep expecting Keving Bacon to dance his way into this thread.

/I dislike preachers more than anyone on here
//still not buying it


Then you are a fool.


I LIVED that shiat for 7 years, forced to go to a Pentecostal church and school. The "Pastor" was a fire and brimstone southern baptist trained evangelical. Everything those two folks above said happened to me in one way or another. D&D, ALL rock music, ALL TV shows were satanically inspired and if you listened/played with them you were on your way to burn in hell for all eternity.

You know jack shiat about fundamental christian cults. WE do.

I lived that shiat too, for much more than seven years, and learned enough to notice another thing that almost surely never happened: a Pentecostal church headed up by a "southern baptist trained evangelical."

 And sure, I knew lots of people who believed in backward masking and that D&D, Procter & Gamble, and even the Society for Creative Anachronism were Satanic fronts.  Nevertheless, the two earlier posters' stories were both horseshiat.  And  you appear to be full of shiat too.

Sorry.

No you didn't. You're just trying to be fark-edgy.


Not too challenging, evidently, if growing up in a medium-size town in upstate South Carolina 30 years ago is all it takes.
 
2013-04-18 10:13:23 PM  
He smells like wet dog.

Dixon Cider: I can't wait till he dies and is very disappointed!
If not... I hope he is eternally assraped, rape-rape style, for all the lives this POS has destroyed with his ignorant and bigoted words.

How many kids committed suicide or lived in mental anguish because their parents were listening to what this taintwad said?
He ranks up there with any destructive religious zealots in history...

 
2013-04-18 10:18:47 PM  
Dear Pat Robertson:

Christianity has destroyed so many, many lives. Dungeons & Dragons? Well, not so much.

Give up Christianity, Pat. I'll let you roll up a paladin.

Sincerely,
  Gamers
 
2013-04-18 10:20:53 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Haven't been in a D&D campaign since college.  Any that I attempt to get in seem to never get off the ground or dissolve.


Have you thought it might be you?
 
2013-04-18 10:22:11 PM  

Forbidden Doughnut: Ned Stark: D&D blows. there are much better games out there people. don't roleplay with crap just because its famous crap!

I liked everything up through 3.5....

/ would play Pathfinder if I had the time AND if there were players near me
// at least I have my MMOs, but I remember having way more fun with RPGs back in the 80's-early 90's...
/// Pat wouldn't approve of my SWTOR character; Sith Inquisitor (Assassin), and Dark-side choices as much as possible...


EIP, there's a fark Pathfinder group that meets over skype on Thursdays using a RPG tool called maptools. We wouldn't mind another player or two!
 
2013-04-18 10:27:10 PM  
Lawful Evil, thats how I roll.
 
2013-04-18 10:29:11 PM  
Have I been transported back to the 80s? Because that's the last time anyone gave a shiat about the D&D moral panic.
 
2013-04-18 10:30:14 PM  
This is why I'm giving up D&D and any games that have magic in them.  From now on, my son and I will only play good, wholesome games without partaking in that soul tempting occult.

www.ludomaniaque.fr

diyblogger.net


Jesus approve.  I told that hooker she should have put the lotion on...
 
2013-04-18 10:30:47 PM  

loonatic112358: 2wolves: "You see a gazebo..."

I fire an arrow at the gazebo


It just stares at you, its expression wooden.
 
2013-04-18 10:59:23 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: /Pathfinder is much better.


Pathfinder is fun. We just got done a campaign in my group.
Heck, I've even gotten to run a one shot, which was an experience.
 
2013-04-18 10:59:46 PM  

neongoats: Facetious_Speciest: What if I'm playing a LG cleric of Yahweh? Still evil?

YHWH is at BEST lawful neutral with evil tendencies. On a good day.


But he's got some serious nukes and group buffs on the spell list at higher levels.

The create food spell's a bit quirky, though - it produces double food one day in seven then doesn't work the next day.
 
2013-04-18 11:06:15 PM  

Mithiwithi: neongoats: Facetious_Speciest: What if I'm playing a LG cleric of Yahweh? Still evil?

YHWH is at BEST lawful neutral with evil tendencies. On a good day.

But he's got some serious nukes and group buffs on the spell list at higher levels.

The create food spell's a bit quirky, though - it produces double food one day in seven then doesn't work the next day.


Nerds + Religions = teh lulz

/need to re-write the Bible for D&D
//fark riding the train, I'm driving it
 
2013-04-18 11:08:06 PM  

eudemonist: Gotta disagree with Pat on this one.  D&D helped me _find_ God.


Was he in the last place you looked?
 
2013-04-18 11:14:21 PM  
Some of my collection;
i599.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-18 11:15:22 PM  
My 18th level Human cleric of Pelor disagrees.  Casts harm, and quickened cause light wounds on Pat Robinson.  make a will save or DIE.
 
2013-04-18 11:21:31 PM  

Scabbeau: I stepped on a four sided dice as a child, and it has scarred me for life


There's a reason why gamers call four-sided dice "caltrops."

At least it wasn't a d6.
 
2013-04-18 11:22:23 PM  

Lee Jackson Beauregard: ATTENTION RIGHT WING JERKWADS

at least one of whom has posted to this thread (albeit with surprising sanity) and knows who s/he is:

The claim in the headline is an example of an unsupported claim.

The proper response to such a claim is "[citation needed]".

The proper response to "[citation needed]" is not "gogoogleit".

If Pat Robertson knows that someone's life was destroyed by playing D&D, then he should be able to provide some evidence, rather than saying "gogoogleit".

The proper response to "[citation needed]" is either to provide a citation or to STFU.


And here I thought the correct response to anything Patty Robin says is to assume the opposite is true.
 
2013-04-18 11:33:08 PM  

shortymac: Forbidden Doughnut: Ned Stark: D&D blows. there are much better games out there people. don't roleplay with crap just because its famous crap!

I liked everything up through 3.5....

/ would play Pathfinder if I had the time AND if there were players near me
// at least I have my MMOs, but I remember having way more fun with RPGs back in the 80's-early 90's...
/// Pat wouldn't approve of my SWTOR character; Sith Inquisitor (Assassin), and Dark-side choices as much as possible...

EIP, there's a fark Pathfinder group that meets over skype on Thursdays using a RPG tool called maptools. We wouldn't mind another player or two!


If only I worked different hours...since I'm assuming you don't mean y'all play between 3am and 6am...
 
2013-04-18 11:41:56 PM  

ciberido: There's a reason why gamers call four-sided dice "caltrops."


Caltrops are personally my signature item, after a charging minotaur was stopped mid-charge by some caltrops I'd set up. Poor thing then died after two turns of getting walloped by a paladin and a (blinded) fighter.
 
2013-04-19 12:04:25 AM  
So the other day I walk into the back room and my two boys are playing with legos.  They have a whole battle set up between all sorts of good and bad guys.  But they are also rolling dice. I ask "what are you guys playing"  "Lego D&D, the orcs and skeletons are only minions so they have  10 pts a piece, the guys with hats are squad leaders and have 20, the guy with the gun is the leader and has 50.  The starwars Wampa has 500 but falls over easy."  Then smaller of the two boys says "ok this orc decides to put his buddy orc into the catapult.  What do you think athletics check to see if he can land without damage?"  "Sure,  +16 he makes it."  he rolls.  "Oh WOW 19, Not only lands but also deals 'fall on top' damage to this guy."  "Next orc trys!  ... Critical miss, not only does he splat but he's head goes into this fire, bounces back and lights his buddy on fire."
It was sort of free play withstatistical chance.  Nice
 
2013-04-19 12:08:18 AM  

tinyarena: I played D&D exactly one time
It took the DM three hours to set it up
Three minutes into the game I was killed by an exploding golden pig

/I'm with Pat on this one


That's why you have to keep a high-level mage in your group. They can resurrect the dead. Unless, of course, the mage set you up in order to steal your loot.
 
2013-04-19 12:14:07 AM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
Ah, well thank goodness we didn't play D&D much, and preferred Chaosium titles. I'm sure Pat is fine with them.
 
2013-04-19 12:19:46 AM  

Sock Ruh Tease: Anderson's Pooper: I can count three ordained ministers that were in my college D&D group.

That's a pretty cleric-heavy party.


Go, Team Cleric!
 
2013-04-19 12:29:45 AM  
Pat Robertson is just proving he understands the rockin' rollin' by belting out a classic when no one expects it.

/Show me on your character sheet where the Beholder touched you, Pat.
 
2013-04-19 12:34:27 AM  

WordyGrrl: tinyarena: I played D&D exactly one time
It took the DM three hours to set it up
Three minutes into the game I was killed by an exploding golden pig

/I'm with Pat on this one

That's why you have to keep a high-level mage in your group. They can resurrect the dead. Unless, of course, the mage set you up in order to steal your loot.


Or the mage is a necromancer and has more beneficial uses of your recently dead corpse.
 
2013-04-19 12:39:55 AM  

wingnut396: WordyGrrl: tinyarena: I played D&D exactly one time
It took the DM three hours to set it up
Three minutes into the game I was killed by an exploding golden pig

/I'm with Pat on this one

That's why you have to keep a high-level mage in your group. They can resurrect the dead. Unless, of course, the mage set you up in order to steal your loot.

Or the mage is a necromancer and has more beneficial uses of your recently dead corpse.


Our Mage was a lightning wizard. Useful in combat, but kind of twitchy and a bit of a spaz otherwise.
 
2013-04-19 12:45:00 AM  
It's like conservatives have an eight-sided die they cast to find something to be offended about...

D&D

Sex

Drugs

Rock and Roll

Video Games

Comic Books

TV

Porn
 
2013-04-19 01:01:24 AM  

lasercannon: [www.demotivationalinc.com image 604x467]


So Pat Robertson's gonna live forever?!
 
2013-04-19 01:01:45 AM  

MonoChango: So the other day I walk into the back room and my two boys are playing with legos.  They have a whole battle set up between all sorts of good and bad guys.  But they are also rolling dice. I ask "what are you guys playing"  "Lego D&D, the orcs and skeletons are only minions so they have  10 pts a piece, the guys with hats are squad leaders and have 20, the guy with the gun is the leader and has 50.  The starwars Wampa has 500 but falls over easy."  Then smaller of the two boys says "ok this orc decides to put his buddy orc into the catapult.  What do you think athletics check to see if he can land without damage?"  "Sure,  +16 he makes it."  he rolls.  "Oh WOW 19, Not only lands but also deals 'fall on top' damage to this guy."  "Next orc trys!  ... Critical miss, not only does he splat but he's head goes into this fire, bounces back and lights his buddy on fire."
It was sort of free play withstatistical chance.  Nice


Awesome!

+1000XP for each of your boys
 
2013-04-19 01:02:39 AM  

Fano: [www.sjgames.com image 450x581]


God bless Steve Jackson.
 
2013-04-19 01:05:55 AM  

scalpod: Fano: [www.sjgames.com image 450x581]

God bless Steve Jackson.




His name is a time machine.
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-19 01:07:06 AM  

MonoChango: So the other day I walk into the back room and my two boys are playing with legos.  They have a whole battle set up between all sorts of good and bad guys.  But they are also rolling dice. I ask "what are you guys playing"  "Lego D&D, the orcs and skeletons are only minions so they have  10 pts a piece, the guys with hats are squad leaders and have 20, the guy with the gun is the leader and has 50.  The starwars Wampa has 500 but falls over easy."  Then smaller of the two boys says "ok this orc decides to put his buddy orc into the catapult.  What do you think athletics check to see if he can land without damage?"  "Sure,  +16 he makes it."  he rolls.  "Oh WOW 19, Not only lands but also deals 'fall on top' damage to this guy."  "Next orc trys!  ... Critical miss, not only does he splat but he's head goes into this fire, bounces back and lights his buddy on fire."
It was sort of free play withstatistical chance.  Nice


If they ever make official LEGO D& D sets, nerds around the world will die from blood loss when their dicks explode.
 
2013-04-19 01:12:40 AM  
I believe he was referring to 4th edition.
 
2013-04-19 01:48:10 AM  
I'm confused, if I play D&D with a Catholic priest, then am I going to hell?  And if I do, can I keep playing D&D with him assuming neither of us molests small children?
 
2013-04-19 02:01:44 AM  

scalpod: lasercannon: [www.demotivationalinc.com image 604x467]

So Pat Robertson's gonna live forever?!


Evil never dies.
 
2013-04-19 02:32:39 AM  
Pat Robertson = best in self-parody for the last 30 years.
 
2013-04-19 03:14:18 AM  

Because People in power are Stupid: He was probably referring to the cartoon.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 742x572]

Stars like Willie Ames and Donny Most really didn't have a career after this flop.


Perhaps not, but Frank Welker (Venger) and Peter Cullen (Tiamat) both had successful careers afterwards.
 
2013-04-19 04:36:07 AM  

Ramien: Because People in power are Stupid: He was probably referring to the cartoon.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 742x572]

Stars like Willie Ames and Donny Most really didn't have a career after this flop.

Perhaps not, but Frank Welker (Venger) and Peter Cullen (Tiamat) both had successful careers afterwards.


Not to nit pick, but Frank Welker's had a pretty big resume pre Dungeons and Dragons.  His career began in the Late 60s.  He was Scooby Doo and Freddie.  Not just human voices either.  If there is an animal sound in an animated show or movie that has been made in the last 40 years, chances are it's Frank.  Dude's amazing.

Peter Cullen I'll give you as his career was largely minor characters in television and variety shows before finding his niche in voice acting in the mid to late 70s.
 
2013-04-19 05:22:46 AM  

Count_0: Some of my collection;
[i599.photobucket.com image 850x637]


Keep on the borderlands was the shiat.
 
2013-04-19 05:43:15 AM  
Crazies will spout crazy

Religion has literally destroyed people's lives
D&D, about as much as pot...
 
2013-04-19 08:25:51 AM  

Magnanimous_J: downstairs: jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.

All Children, Devil's Children

I heard it as "Against Christ, Devil's Children"


I heard it was "Anti-Christ / Devil Child"
 
2013-04-19 08:27:32 AM  

Rocket To Russia: Magnanimous_J: downstairs: jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.

All Children, Devil's Children

I heard it as "Against Christ, Devil's Children"

I heard it was "Anti-Christ / Devil Child"


We need to get to the bottom of whose made up bullsh*t is accurate.  Get me a blue ribbon panel, stat!
 
2013-04-19 09:06:09 AM  

hogans: [lh5.googleusercontent.com image 669x507]


You are awesome.
 
2013-04-19 10:01:41 AM  

RatMaster999: shortymac: Forbidden Doughnut: Ned Stark: D&D blows. there are much better games out there people. don't roleplay with crap just because its famous crap!

I liked everything up through 3.5....

/ would play Pathfinder if I had the time AND if there were players near me
// at least I have my MMOs, but I remember having way more fun with RPGs back in the 80's-early 90's...
/// Pat wouldn't approve of my SWTOR character; Sith Inquisitor (Assassin), and Dark-side choices as much as possible...

EIP, there's a fark Pathfinder group that meets over skype on Thursdays using a RPG tool called maptools. We wouldn't mind another player or two!

If only I worked different hours...since I'm assuming you don't mean y'all play between 3am and 6am...


We play at 7 - 8pm est.
 
2013-04-19 10:09:54 AM  

Gyrfalcon: eudemonist: Gotta disagree with Pat on this one.  D&D helped me _find_ God.

Was he in the last place you looked?


Yep.  He was in the first place I looked, too--I just wasn't looking right.
 
2013-04-19 12:02:01 PM  

xria: FloridaWombat: This is the funniest shiat I've read while doing internet inventory in the back room of the game shop I work at part time.

/Hate 4th Ed., the new playtesting kit for D&D has me hoping.  Character generation has a d20 Black Company feel to it.
//Robertson is definitely an Ordo Hereticus Amalathian
///Check out the new Torment project by Monte Cook - just had it's Kickstarter and busted some records.

If you want funny, you should read the review of FATAL over at RPG.net sometime (might be considered NSFW in some senses, given the nature of FATAL necessarily involves discussing things like having to determine your characters maximum anal circumference in case anything large is inserted into your character during your adventures):

http://www.rpg.net/reviews/archive/14/14567.phtml


Sweet Jesus, that stain was one of the worst things ever published.  For a second, I thought that you were saying a new edition came out.  Yep, there is a table telling you the size of a gnome's wang, among other things.
 
2013-04-19 01:08:20 PM  

The Muthaship: Rocket To Russia: Magnanimous_J: downstairs: jigger: Is he having flashbacks to 1978? This is what they were saying back then. Also Knights In Satan's Service.

All Children, Devil's Children

I heard it as "Against Christ, Devil's Children"

I heard it was "Anti-Christ / Devil Child"

We need to get to the bottom of whose made up bullsh*t is accurate.  Get me a blue ribbon panel, stat!


However, WASP's "We Are Sexual Perverts" turns out to be true.
 
2013-04-19 01:23:40 PM  

keypusher: Not too challenging, evidently, if growing up in a medium-size town in upstate South Carolina 30 years ago is all it takes.


Oh good, you're from SC, you can go look at his farking grave, since that is where he was from, learned his trade, registered his multiple luxury cars, and was buried. While you are at it, do a little research and see where he lived and preached for over 25 years:

Robert T. Gooding
Pastor of the Apponaug Pentecostal Church


While you are at it, go fark yourself for telling me what I lived for over 7 years of MY life.
 
2013-04-19 01:44:54 PM  
Read The Pulling Report sometime. The entire idea that D&D was a gateway to Satanism and a destroyer of children's lives was driven by one woman, whose son killed herself and she blamed D&D for it.  All of the religious mendacity, from Chick tracts to Robertson, was based around this sad woman's campaign.

D&D didn't ruin my life, it ruined my math grade because the time spent studying for algebra was instead consumed by building a fortress for my level 20 fighter/mage.  Once I got D&D and my scholastic responsibilities balanced, they coexisted just fine.  As with everything, moderation.  There were some kids that went to my junior/high school that ate D&D at every meal, and they were all the stereotypical nerds.  One remained an outcast his whole life, the others turned out fine and one became a nuclear engineer for the Navy.  I guess every so often the religious types run out of strawmen to wave and have to dig deep into the bag to pull out RPGs,  They want to tackle something that consumes people's lives utterly (and I don't mean this in a bad way), let them research certain MMORPGs.
 
2013-04-19 01:48:57 PM  

Shadowtag: Pat Robertson is just proving he understands the rockin' rollin' by belting out a classic when no one expects it.

/Show me on your character sheet where the Beholder touched you, Pat.


Epic fail!

Beholders just like to look!
 
2013-04-19 01:51:36 PM  

Bucky Katt: Pat Robertson = best in self-parody for the last 30 years.


Don't be mean.  He was traumatized when that Ilithid attacked him and then starved to death in font of him.
 
2013-04-19 01:54:40 PM  

FarkinHostile: keypusher: Not too challenging, evidently, if growing up in a medium-size town in upstate South Carolina 30 years ago is all it takes.

Oh good, you're from SC, you can go look at his farking grave, since that is where he was from, learned his trade, registered his multiple luxury cars, and was buried. While you are at it, do a little research and see where he lived and preached for over 25 years:

Robert T. Gooding
Pastor of the Apponaug Pentecostal Church


While you are at it, go fark yourself for telling me what I lived for over 7 years of MY life.


Well, you certainly live up to your handle.

Robert T. Gooding?  Born in North Carolina, went to college at NC State, honorary degree from an Assemblies of God College, died and buried in Warwick, Rhode Island, lived in Newport News?

http://articles.dailypress.com/2002-10-03/news/0210030242_1_pastor-g oo ding-beaufort-north-kingstown

http://northpoint.edu/

Congratulations on being a very angry, very bad liar.
 
2013-04-19 02:02:52 PM  

keypusher: FarkinHostile: keypusher: Not too challenging, evidently, if growing up in a medium-size town in upstate South Carolina 30 years ago is all it takes.

Oh good, you're from SC, you can go look at his farking grave, since that is where he was from, learned his trade, registered his multiple luxury cars, and was buried. While you are at it, do a little research and see where he lived and preached for over 25 years:

Robert T. Gooding
Pastor of the Apponaug Pentecostal Church


While you are at it, go fark yourself for telling me what I lived for over 7 years of MY life.

Well, you certainly live up to your handle.

Robert T. Gooding?  Born in North Carolina, went to college at NC State, honorary degree from an Assemblies of God College, died and buried in Warwick, Rhode Island, lived in Newport News?

http://articles.dailypress.com/2002-10-03/news/0210030242_1_pastor-g oo ding-beaufort-north-kingstown

http://northpoint.edu/

Congratulations on being a very angry, very bad liar.


You do realize you are a complete idiot, right? Perhaps reading comprehension is not your strong suit. Or maybe you suck at researching. Or perhaps all three.

http://articles.dailypress.com/2002-10-02/news/0210020093_1_pastor-g oo ding-beaufort-north-kingstown

Go read that obit. Sound out the words if you have any problems.

farking jackass. Everyone knows it now, too.
 
2013-04-19 02:17:02 PM  
I stand corrected on a point. Gooding was buried in Newport News. I was told his hometown in SC. That's what happens when you celebrate during a funeral instead of going to it.
 
2013-04-19 02:31:02 PM  

FarkinHostile: I stand corrected on a point. Gooding was buried in Newport News. I was told his hometown in SC. That's what happens when you celebrate during a funeral instead of going to it.


Hold on, "you were told"?  You don't know?  You also said "you can go look at his farking grave, since that is where he was from, learned his trade, registered his multiple luxury cars, and was buried."

All of which is also nonsense, as far as I can tell. Did you just google the guy to use him in this thread and got a little careless?  I mean, he practically destroyed your life, yet everything you say about him is false.
 
2013-04-19 02:33:31 PM  

FarkinHostile: I stand corrected on a point. Gooding was buried in Newport News. I was told his hometown in SC. That's what happens when you celebrate during a funeral instead of going to it.


Not to beat this into the ground, but that is also false.
 
2013-04-19 02:43:45 PM  

keypusher: FarkinHostile: I stand corrected on a point. Gooding was buried in Newport News. I was told his hometown in SC. That's what happens when you celebrate during a funeral instead of going to it.

Hold on, "you were told"?  You don't know?  You also said "you can go look at his farking grave, since that is where he was from, learned his trade, registered his multiple luxury cars, and was buried."

All of which is also nonsense, as far as I can tell. Did you just google the guy to use him in this thread and got a little careless?  I mean, he practically destroyed your life, yet everything you say about him is false.



WARWICK, R.I. - Robert T. Gooding, 79, pastor of Apponaug Pentecostal Church in Warwick, died Wednesday, September 25, 2002, in Rhode Island Hospital, Providence. He was the husband of Irene Thomas Gooding. They had been married for 57 years. Son of the late Robert P. and Marjorie Taylor Gooding, he was born in Beaufort, N.C., and preceded in death by a brother, Thomas Gooding.

Pastor Gooding attended North Carolina State University, had an honorary degree from Zion Bible Institute in Barrington and was ordained in 1956. He was the "Voice of Glad Tiding" on radio stations WARV and WRIB for 22 years. He was a member and past president of Full Gospel Ministerial and Church Fellowship, and he was founder of Apponaug Christian Academy. (The School I went to before finally getting kicked out for not being a sheep)

Here is a link to the school today:  http://apponaug.org/


Yeah, considering I saw him in the flesh 4 times after leaving the church and school 24 years before he died, a tiny mistake regarding where his grave is means I am lying.

You look like a fool to everyone reading this. And an pedantic asshole.

Put a year of TF up and I'll scan my old year books, pictures of me in that stupid uniform and report cards. Come on, put up or shut up, dickhead.

He didn't ruin my life, but he certainly had a huge negative impact on it. I was physically and mentally abused, so you're damn right I am angry.
 
2013-04-19 02:47:56 PM  

keypusher: FarkinHostile: I stand corrected on a point. Gooding was buried in Newport News. I was told his hometown in SC. That's what happens when you celebrate during a funeral instead of going to it.

Not to beat this into the ground, but that is also false.


A funeral service will be held at 2 p.m. Thursday, October 3, in Peninsula Funeral Home, Newport News, Va., with interment immediately following in Greenlawn Memorial Park.


Goddamn, you're farking stupid.
 
2013-04-19 03:18:11 PM  

FarkinHostile: keypusher: FarkinHostile: I stand corrected on a point. Gooding was buried in Newport News. I was told his hometown in SC. That's what happens when you celebrate during a funeral instead of going to it.

Hold on, "you were told"?  You don't know?  You also said "you can go look at his farking grave, since that is where he was from, learned his trade, registered his multiple luxury cars, and was buried."

All of which is also nonsense, as far as I can tell. Did you just google the guy to use him in this thread and got a little careless?  I mean, he practically destroyed your life, yet everything you say about him is false.


WARWICK, R.I. - Robert T. Gooding, 79, pastor of Apponaug Pentecostal Church in Warwick, died Wednesday, September 25, 2002, in Rhode Island Hospital, Providence. He was the husband of Irene Thomas Gooding. They had been married for 57 years. Son of the late Robert P. and Marjorie Taylor Gooding, he was born in Beaufort, N.C., and preceded in death by a brother, Thomas Gooding.

Pastor Gooding attended North Carolina State University, had an honorary degree from Zion Bible Institute in Barrington and was ordained in 1956. He was the "Voice of Glad Tiding" on radio stations WARV and WRIB for 22 years. He was a member and past president of Full Gospel Ministerial and Church Fellowship, and he was founder of Apponaug Christian Academy. (The School I went to before finally getting kicked out for not being a sheep)

Here is a link to the school today:  http://apponaug.org/


Yeah, considering I saw him in the flesh 4 times after leaving the church and school 24 years before he died, a tiny mistake regarding where his grave is means I am lying.

You look like a fool to everyone reading this. And an pedantic asshole.

Put a year of TF up and I'll scan my old year books, pictures of me in that stupid uniform and report cards. Come on, put up or shut up, dickhead.

He didn't ruin my life, but he certainly had a huge negative impact on it. I was physically ...


Yeah, you're pretty farked up.  Sorry about that.
 
2013-04-19 03:26:07 PM  

keypusher: Yeah, you're pretty farked up. Sorry about that.



So no bet? Pity, I was looking forward to you shelling out $50 for being such an asshole. Granted, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt you would keep your word and pay, but I suppose it doesn't matter either way.


And if you think I'm farked up, you should see some of his other former students. That mother farker and religious con men like him do a lot of damage to children telling them they will be burned and tortured for all eternity for playing a farking game, among the other abuses that they inflict.
 
2013-04-19 04:28:33 PM  
www.randomdistribution.com
Better DnD Cartoon FTW
 
2013-04-19 05:18:22 PM  
Didn't mean to stir the sh*t, but I couldn't have done it any better if I had done it purposely.

Internet: Serious Business.
 
2013-04-19 05:37:09 PM  

The Muthaship: Didn't mean to stir the sh*t, but I couldn't have done it any better if I had done it purposely.

Internet: Serious Business.


One question:

Do you believe us now?
 
2013-04-19 05:37:45 PM  

FarkinHostile: Do you believe us now?


Just you.
 
2013-04-19 05:40:54 PM  

The Muthaship: FarkinHostile: Do you believe us now?

Just you.


Eh, I'll take it I suppose, but the stories that the others told were absolutely believable to me. Been there, done that, seen it with my own eyes and ears.
 
2013-04-19 05:45:26 PM  

FarkinHostile: Been there, done that, seen it with my own eyes and ears.


I'll have to go back and look, but I don't think I ever said I doubted your story.  In fact, I think our first interaction was you telling me that I should believe the excerpts from Footloose people were posting.  At any rate, I'm still sorry for what you went through.
 
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