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(Deadspin)   Sorority sister lashes out at her sisters for "FARKING SUCKING" at Greek Week social events. Isn't that what sorority girls do? (Not safe for work language everywhere)   (deadspin.com) divider line 329
    More: Ironic  
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14939 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Apr 2013 at 3:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-18 05:10:39 PM

E-Brake: I swear to farking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's circle jerk, I will tell you to ragequit even if you're lurking in the corner eating bacon.

 
2013-04-18 05:11:36 PM

E-Brake: I swear to farking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's circle jerk, I will tell you to ragequit even if you're lurking in the corner eating bacon. I'm not even kidding. Try me.


Damn image fail.

www.comicbooktidbits.com
 
2013-04-18 05:12:46 PM

skullkrusher: theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime .

is this real life?


Or is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
 
2013-04-18 05:12:47 PM

shifty lookin bleeder: The Muthaship: too_amuzed: What is "SOR"?

Her, after the Sigma Nu's stop by.


Λ Ο Λ


Lambda Omicron Lambda?
 
2013-04-18 05:13:12 PM

vudukungfu: tricycleracer: I didn't plow her to her exacting specifications.

Oh you can bet on one of two things.
Either she is very Dom in bed
or she is very sub.
this chick is not vanilla.


I vote sub
 
2013-04-18 05:13:40 PM

too_amuzed: jaerik: "I will farking coont punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fark if you SOR me, I WILL farkING ASSAULT YOU. "

As an executive at a family-friendly Fortune 50 entertainment company, I find myself inexorably drawn to somehow incorporate this phrase into our next division business review.

What is "SOR"?


sexual offender registry.  her point being is that she will coont punt you and doesn't give a fark if it lands her on the sexual offender registry.  the crazy biatch is that serious.
 
2013-04-18 05:14:29 PM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-04-18 05:14:43 PM

Sweaty Dynamite: This girl ain't got nothing on Alabama sorority girls; especially when it's Nick Saban's daughter.


Cheezus H. Christ, that's some shiat right there.
 
2013-04-18 05:14:51 PM
Sororities and Frats are groups for insecure people to band together and not feel insecure because they are members of a club

/never in one
//played in a band that played at a LOT of greek functions
///they have huge budgets for social activities
////yes we did grossly overcharge them and steal their women
 
2013-04-18 05:15:23 PM
+1

That was farking spectacular.
 
2013-04-18 05:16:04 PM

ManateeGag: shifty lookin bleeder: The Muthaship: too_amuzed: What is "SOR"?

Her, after the Sigma Nu's stop by.


Λ Ο Λ

Lambda Omicron Lambda?


It's coded. Study it out ....
 
2013-04-18 05:16:08 PM

Lollipop165: As a sorority alumni, I can totally imagine this happening.

Which is why I laughed so hard when I read this.

She had me at "coont punt".


"A(n) alumni"? No.

You're right about "coont poont," though.
 
2013-04-18 05:17:51 PM

GrahamManning: vudukungfu: tricycleracer: I didn't plow her to her exacting specifications.

Oh you can bet on one of two things.
Either she is very Dom in bed
or she is very sub.
this chick is not vanilla.

I vote sub


I vote a little of column A and a little of column B. Hence the Facebook shaming for not performing as expected. You're supposed to read her mind about whether she's going to be spanked tonight or if you're getting paddled. She's the dangerous type of broad, she's going to berate you after the fact no matter what.
 
2013-04-18 05:19:43 PM

The Muthaship: too_amuzed: What is "SOR"?

Her, after the Sigma Nu's stop by.


Keyboard . . . you owe me one.
 
2013-04-18 05:20:01 PM
It really reads like a man wrote it.
 
2013-04-18 05:20:43 PM

ManateeGag: Λ Ο Λ

Lambda Omicron Lambda?


MFW I realize that the Greek spelling of LOL is a laughing emoji face

/what the hell did I just type
 
2013-04-18 05:24:07 PM

too_amuzed: jaerik: "I will farking coont punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fark if you SOR me, I WILL farkING ASSAULT YOU. "

As an executive at a family-friendly Fortune 50 entertainment company, I find myself inexorably drawn to somehow incorporate this phrase into our next division business review.

What is "SOR"?


If the video documentaries, yes thats the ticket, I've seen are to be believed, I think that is when there is a conflict in the sorority and to resolve this they all get together and the girls pair up for a make up session, which eventually leads to what I guess could metaphorically be considered some coont punting, if you're flexible with your definition of the word "punt"
 
2013-04-18 05:25:53 PM
"Those MRS degrees aren't going to be on your ring-finger without any sucking and f*cking! Get to it!!!"
 
2013-04-18 05:26:00 PM

Sweaty Dynamite: This girl ain't got nothing on Alabama sorority girls; especially when it's Nick Saban's daughter.


that has to be the weirdest legal filing ever.
 
2013-04-18 05:26:13 PM
Someone has the "needs some new shoes blues"
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.netwac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net
 
2013-04-18 05:27:12 PM

kona: Someone has the "needs some new shoes blues"
[sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 555x743][wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net image 184x960]


what are you, my wife?   that's the first thing she notices about a woman is her shoes.
 
2013-04-18 05:29:02 PM

The_Gallant_Gallstone: Lollipop165: As a sorority alumni alumnae, I can totally imagine this happening.


alumna.

alumnae is plural.
 
2013-04-18 05:29:04 PM
Halfway into TFA, my head LITERALLY asploded


/LITERALLY!!!!
 
2013-04-18 05:34:13 PM
That was indescribably beautiful.  I hope my son marries this girl just so that I can listen to her rail on him when he farks up.
 
2013-04-18 05:34:15 PM

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: GrahamManning: vudukungfu: tricycleracer: I didn't plow her to her exacting specifications.

Oh you can bet on one of two things.
Either she is very Dom in bed
or she is very sub.
this chick is not vanilla.

I vote sub

I vote a little of column A and a little of column B. Hence the Facebook shaming for not performing as expected. You're supposed to read her mind about whether she's going to be spanked tonight or if you're getting paddled. She's the dangerous type of broad, she's going to berate you after the fact no matter what.


malvasiabianca.org
 
2013-04-18 05:35:26 PM

Sweaty Dynamite: This girl ain't got nothing on Alabama sorority girls; especially when it's Nick Saban's daughter.


yeah, but at her daddy wins football games, so it's no big deal if she sends a sister tot he hospital after a drunken beating.
 
2013-04-18 05:35:29 PM
FARK, I am disappoint!  WHAR "Animal House" reference?!?
 
2013-04-18 05:36:23 PM

Loki009: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: GrahamManning: vudukungfu: tricycleracer: I didn't plow her to her exacting specifications.

Oh you can bet on one of two things.
Either she is very Dom in bed
or she is very sub.
this chick is not vanilla.

I vote sub

I vote a little of column A and a little of column B. Hence the Facebook shaming for not performing as expected. You're supposed to read her mind about whether she's going to be spanked tonight or if you're getting paddled. She's the dangerous type of broad, she's going to berate you after the fact no matter what.

[malvasiabianca.org image 300x169]


I assume you're an advanced Facebook user who could lock down your profile so only you can see her craziness? Because if so, then proceed, with or without caution.
 
2013-04-18 05:38:53 PM
Yeah, but, I'm on special teams.  Let's talk about the coont punt return...
 
2013-04-18 05:40:08 PM
Congratulations, Ms. Coont Poonter.  You are as pretty, popular, and powerful as you're ever going to be.  Your entire life is downhill from here.
 
2013-04-18 05:40:08 PM
Reminded me of MORE DOTS MORE DOTS

Except, you know, with the possibility of pussy.
 
2013-04-18 05:42:01 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: I don't get why people bother joining a frat


I once had a guy on my lab team in my senior year of college who seemingly had a debilitating learning disability, if not outright borderline retarded.   I literally don't know how he managed to tie his shoes in themorning, much less how he get accepted into a University.   He was also 6'5" and president of his fraternity.         When it came time for on-campus recruiting the rest of my lab mates and I were swapping stories and humble- bragging about who we had interviews lined up with and how long the interviews were and how much they were offering entry level salary, etc.   Finally we got around to the fraternity guy, and he said he wasn't bothering with interviewing because he had already accepted a job offer.  Oh, and he was  making about 50% more than the rest of us.    He got the job through a former ex-President of his fraternity.        In a world of who you know, not what you know ... he was at least 5 years head of us on the career ladder.
 
2013-04-18 05:46:52 PM
Thanks, subby! I needed the laugh.
 
2013-04-18 05:48:34 PM

Potter82: I don't get the whole Greek thing. Here in Canada we don't have that sort of crap, at least not on the same level as it exists in the U.S.

I mean why pay d-bags to humilate and degrade you in often slightly sadistic and homoerotic ways when you can be out drinking and partying with people who don't suck and getting laid? Unless of course you're into that sort of thing (thank you sir may I have another)


External validation for those who desperately need it.
 
2013-04-18 05:49:02 PM
This is what "sisterhood" supposedly is.

I'm so glad I didn't join one of these train wrecks. I think I would've scalped her.
 
2013-04-18 05:49:27 PM

Pincy: Expected to see pics of sorority girls sucking.  Leaving disappointed.


Googled for pics of sorority girls sucking. Now on final written warning. Should maybe have waited till I was home.
 
2013-04-18 05:49:31 PM

InmanRoshi: FuryOfFirestorm: I don't get why people bother joining a frat

I once had a guy on my lab team in my senior year of college who seemingly had a debilitating learning disability, if not outright borderline retarded.   I literally don't know how he managed to tie his shoes in themorning, much less how he get accepted into a University.   He was also 6'5" and president of his fraternity.         When it came time for on-campus recruiting the rest of my lab mates and I were swapping stories and humble- bragging about who we had interviews lined up with and how long the interviews were and how much they were offering entry level salary, etc.   Finally we got around to the fraternity guy, and he said he wasn't bothering with interviewing because he had already accepted a job offer.  Oh, and he was  making about 50% more than the rest of us.    He got the job through a former ex-President of his fraternity.        In a world of who you know, not what you know ... he was at least 5 years head of us on the career ladder.


Do you have a follow up to that? Maybe related to his "how does he tie his shoes?" lack of intelligence? Because everyone I knew who got hooked up with good jobs failed out of them when they weren't capable of anything beyond entry level work.
 
2013-04-18 05:50:43 PM

MeanJean: This is what "sisterhood" supposedly is.

I'm so glad I didn't join one of these train wrecks. I think I would've scalped her.


Kristen Saban?
 
2013-04-18 05:51:50 PM
With a take charge attitude like that I bet she's a demon in the sack.
 
2013-04-18 05:52:35 PM

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: Do you have a follow up to that? Maybe related to his "how does he tie his shoes?" lack of intelligence? Because everyone I knew who got hooked up with good jobs failed out of them when they weren't capable of anything beyond entry level work.


I'm guessing he probably  flamed out as your described, but then ended up somewhere in sales making 3 times my salary working two days a week (most of that from home).
 
2013-04-18 05:52:44 PM
Supposedly this is the biatch that sent the email

wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net

Who ever wrote it will probably find future employment opportunities in porn.
 
2013-04-18 05:54:20 PM

durbnpoisn: E - Brake --  Is that the actual email.  The site is blocked from work so I could read it.


Awwww. You're not too bright but it is really good for you that you try!

/pat
 
2013-04-18 05:54:27 PM
Hope she doesn't get put on double-secret probation.
 
2013-04-18 05:54:43 PM

InmanRoshi: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: Do you have a follow up to that? Maybe related to his "how does he tie his shoes?" lack of intelligence? Because everyone I knew who got hooked up with good jobs failed out of them when they weren't capable of anything beyond entry level work.

I'm guessing he probably  flamed out as your described, but then ended up somewhere in sales making 3 times my salary working two days a week (most of that from home).


I might resemble that remark (in sales)... but I work from work most of the time. I like to appear busy and present. KWIM?
 
2013-04-18 05:57:34 PM
So does this mean they should swallow or spit?
 
2013-04-18 05:58:13 PM
FTA: If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't farking show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter.

So the message here is (a) drink up so you're comfortable; and (2) get to farking. This woman is the sort who, when one of her sorority sisters is raped by a high-status frat boy, will tell her to keep quiet about it, you  probably wanted it more than you're admitting, it's OK, he's hot, do NOT go to the cops because it will totally ruin our relationship with Alpha Beta. Date rape? No, that's the loss-leader you give away to get some repeat business. We must increase our market share in with the high-status fraternities.

I suspect she's the hot one in her house and she's pissed because she was turned down at the higher-status sorority house. Now she's hell bent on improving her house which is made up of pleasant-looking but a little awkward, probably all communications majors who'll get married right away to be stay-at-home suburban moms and have nice little family lives and GODDAMMIT YOU STUPID COONTS!! YOU'RE GETTING IN THE WAY OF MY SOCIAL CLIMBING!!!
 
2013-04-18 05:59:53 PM

WeenerGord: Supposedly this is the biatch that sent the email

[wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net image 414x823]

Who ever wrote it will probably find future employment opportunities in porn.


We established that long ago. Keep up or this girl might punt your coont.
 
2013-04-18 06:03:43 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: FTA: If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't farking show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter.

So the message here is (a) drink up so you're comfortable; and (2) get to farking. This woman is the sort who, when one of her sorority sisters is raped by a high-status frat boy, will tell her to keep quiet about it, you  probably wanted it more than you're admitting, it's OK, he's hot, do NOT go to the cops because it will totally ruin our relationship with Alpha Beta. Date rape? No, that's the loss-leader you give away to get some repeat business. We must increase our market share in with the high-status fraternities.

I suspect she's the hot one in her house and she's pissed because she was turned down at the higher-status sorority house. Now she's hell bent on improving her house which is made up of pleasant-looking but a little awkward, probably all communications majors who'll get married right away to be stay-at-home suburban moms and have nice little family lives and GODDAMMIT YOU STUPID COONTS!! YOU'RE GETTING IN THE WAY OF MY SOCIAL CLIMBING!!!


I want to mark you as a Favorite, but I am not sure marking you, "Date Rape as Loss Leader" will necessarily be funny when I forget what it means in a few months....
 
2013-04-18 06:07:04 PM

Nabb1: What a demure, reserved young lass.


I wonder which WoW guild she goes raiding with on weekends? Seriously, I pity the sorority that's stuck with her.
 
2013-04-18 06:11:49 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark:
Date rape? No, that's the loss-leader you give away to get some repeat business. We must increase our market share in with the high-status fraternities.


This Greek stuff really is good simulation for the real corporate world.
 
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