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(Deadspin)   Sorority sister lashes out at her sisters for "FARKING SUCKING" at Greek Week social events. Isn't that what sorority girls do? (Not safe for work language everywhere)   (deadspin.com) divider line 329
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14931 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Apr 2013 at 3:42 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-18 04:36:35 PM

SlothB77: Nabb1: What a demure, reserved young lass.

i'd rather hang out with the sorority sisters berated in the letter than the girl that wrote it.


Sure, but I bet this one is a tiger in the sack.
 
2013-04-18 04:38:37 PM

Nabb1: SlothB77: Nabb1: What a demure, reserved young lass.

i'd rather hang out with the sorority sisters berated in the letter than the girl that wrote it.

Sure, but I bet this one is a tiger in the sack.


You never know.  She might fark like she knows she's pretty.  Remember Miss Teen Maryland?
 
2013-04-18 04:38:59 PM
Greeks! What are they good for? Huh! Absolutely nothing!

/Seriously, fark them farkers. I got no use for them.
//Over thirty? Being Greek still a big deal for you? Congrats, you're a douche!
 
2013-04-18 04:40:03 PM
Sororities are kind of dumb. I never really understood what the Ladies got out of them. The ones I was familiar with had all sorts of stupid rules and their houses albeit nice were locked down like no other. No guys were supposed to be allowed etc. They had all sorts of dues and it seemed like work

Most Fraternities I was familiar with - Pay your social dues or you can't come to parties (but we will usually turn a blind eye if your not an douche). The money of course was used to simply by booze. You get a better / cheaper place to live
 
2013-04-18 04:40:41 PM

GirlWonder: /Date a Delta Gamma because nothing goes down faster than an Anchor...


hello nurse!!!

/i've got feeling your profile just got an explosion of traffic...
 
2013-04-18 04:41:47 PM

E-Brake: "But Laughter OL!", you say in a whiny little biatch voice


You've been deep-greened.
 
2013-04-18 04:42:02 PM

tricycleracer: All I gathered from that letter is that, for 4 days a year, a sorority becomes the sexual plaything of a designated fraternity.


you only just figured that out now? did you never go to college?
 
2013-04-18 04:42:56 PM

CliChe Guevara: tricycleracer: All I gathered from that letter is that, for 4 days a year, a sorority becomes the sexual plaything of a designated fraternity.

you only just figured that out now? did you never go to college?


I did, but I was a skinny, pale alcoholic who lived off-campus.
 
2013-04-18 04:42:59 PM

tricycleracer: Nabb1: SlothB77: Nabb1: What a demure, reserved young lass.

i'd rather hang out with the sorority sisters berated in the letter than the girl that wrote it.

Sure, but I bet this one is a tiger in the sack.

You never know.  She might fark like she knows she's pretty.  Remember Miss Teen Maryland?


Yeah, but based on that video, I'm willing to bet that Miss Teen Maryland never fired off an angry missive to a large group of girls like that.
 
2013-04-18 04:43:06 PM

MagSeven: 1ceTr0n: Another reason why I stayed home during college with my parents. Not cool? Yes, but I shaved a shiat ton of money and lost my virginity years later by a much more mature woman.

Probably would have lost it earlier if you weren't shaving money. That's a bit creepy.


If you're willing to shave money at private parties, you can pay off student loans really quickly.

Or so I've heard.  From a friend.  Of a friend.  Who knows some people.
 
2013-04-18 04:44:22 PM

E-Brake: If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever wooden-slatted chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough farking ride...TL/DR


You have given to me the happiness of all years.  That was the beautiful thing of the beauty.  Can I tell you further how much awesomeness was provided by you.

The rest of you are probably bigger persons who do not see the issues from two sides so for this reason fark you.
 
2013-04-18 04:44:58 PM
Our nation's future is bright
 
2013-04-18 04:45:32 PM
www.demotivationalposters.org
 
2013-04-18 04:45:55 PM

spentmiles: Makes me miss Greek life.  Mark and Bryce and I were all pretty good looking in college.  I was probably the best looking.  I swam a lot so I had an awesome body.  It's been a few years, but I like to think that I still inspire some cucumber sales in the chicks around the office.  If I wasn't the boss and "married", I'd be popping them on and off my cock like swish-ka-bob chicken.

Anyway, M B and I, used to go to off campus parties.  We'd find a dude there with a good looking girlfriend.  Mark and Bryce would buddy up to the dude, talking him up, doing shots with him, really selling himself back to himself.  He was always reticent at first, having never had any positive attention paid to him by a peer, but after a few drinks we was popping off gay jokes, high fiving, all the stupid bro shiat.  That's when I'd go to work on the girlfriend.  M & B would keep him distracted while I talked her into a back bedroom with a little help from Mr. Sandman.

When I'd had her back there for a while, M & B would bring the boyfriend back and throw open the door.  I'd always have his girlfriend doggied out so I could watch the door and see his expression when he recognized who was in the pretty portrait laid before him.  It was always a double banger of shock and sadness, because the girlfriend would look up, with this drenched look of pleasure on her face, and meet the dude's slack jawed gaze.  I'm sure seeing his girlfriend falling in love with a cock behind her stuck in his memory for a while.

But yeah, the biatch in the e-mail sounds nuts.  M & B & I probably would've passed all of them over.  Probably a bunch of fatties.


Chad? Is that you?
 
2013-04-18 04:46:41 PM
dgumd.moonfruit.com

dgumd.moonfruit.com
dgumd.moonfruit.com
 
2013-04-18 04:47:24 PM

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: They all sound boring and annoying. This one is the loud annoying one who thinks she's queen, but the other ones are stuck up biotches who are socially awkward. And you know they can't hold their liquor. No way I'd hang out with them, because I don't like to be vomited on.


In my experience, it's the loud, annoying "alpha" type that ends up vomiting anywhere  but inside a bucket, trashcan, or toilet, sobbing and screaming in the bathroom, throwing shiat, and generally wrecking everyone  else's fun in the process.
 
2013-04-18 04:47:50 PM

Shostie: Shostie: I love the response from the chapter president.

It's like we get to see the moment just before she realizes she's in way over her head.

Sorry. The response is over here:

http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deranged-sorority-girl-email-you- wi ll-ever-read


My name is Rachel Norris and I am the current president of Delta Gamma at the University of Maryland. It has been brought to my attention that you recently published an unsavory email that was sent out over my chapter's list-serve. Is it possible for you to either remove the article or just remove the names "Delta Gamma" and "Sigma Nu" from your article? This email absolutely does not reflect our chapter's values nor Sigma Nu's and any assistance you can give us is greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Rachel Norris


Skeeter, we would NEVER talk to our sisters that way!  It's against our chapter values!
img199.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-18 04:48:49 PM
Just finished reading. As long as she's not too unnatractive, I wanna fark this girl bad.
 
2013-04-18 04:49:03 PM
It's like Christian Bale if he was a chick in a sorority! Can we have him read this?
 
2013-04-18 04:49:40 PM

Lollipop165: As a sorority alumni alumnae, I can totally imagine this happening.

 
2013-04-18 04:49:47 PM
All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.
 
2013-04-18 04:50:49 PM

macadamnut: /obligatory


Awwww, crap, I searched on "top shelf" not "top-shelf" and missed it.

/Thanks for covering for me.
 
2013-04-18 04:50:54 PM

Lexx: The Greek system is ALL about social networking, and her sisters were doing a shiat job of it, fumbling an opportunity someone (probably her) worked hard to arrange.


Boo-hoo.  If the girls weren't having a good time at the Sigma Nu mixer, maybe it's because Sigma Nu sucks and nobody would party with them in the first place unless compelled to by their neurotic social chairs.
 
2013-04-18 04:52:00 PM

srtpointman: It's like Christian Bale if he was a chick in a sorority! Can we have him read this?


Shatner now comes to mind:

I will f*cking......................c*nt.....punch.....the next...person I hear..about doing....
 
2013-04-18 04:52:10 PM

tricycleracer: Dat ass:

[sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 716x960]


No thanks, butterface and bangin' ass.
 
2013-04-18 04:52:43 PM

The_Gallant_Gallstone: Lollipop165: As a sorority alumni alumnae, I can totally imagine this happening.


You are incorrect as well. That's the plural form.

Alumna is the singular feminine, which would have been correct.
 
2013-04-18 04:53:01 PM
that was hilarious
 
2013-04-18 04:53:20 PM
*reads thread...sees pic../
goddamn
fist of god and all that
 
2013-04-18 04:53:48 PM

theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


My dad owns a dealership!

/  Hey Skeeter...
// ... did you score?
 
2013-04-18 04:54:22 PM

that bosnian sniper: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: They all sound boring and annoying. This one is the loud annoying one who thinks she's queen, but the other ones are stuck up biotches who are socially awkward. And you know they can't hold their liquor. No way I'd hang out with them, because I don't like to be vomited on.

In my experience, it's the loud, annoying "alpha" type that ends up vomiting anywhere  but inside a bucket, trashcan, or toilet, sobbing and screaming in the bathroom, throwing shiat, and generally wrecking everyone  else's fun in the process.


The Alphas I've known are the ones who secretly upchuck in places without telling everyone. You see them with it on their chin, but you don't know WHERE you're going to find it (bathtub, off the balcony, in your closet are good bets though) but the Awkwards are going to just straight out puke in front of you. No matter what, they can't hold their liquor and they're going to do some ugly crying on your shoulder like they're your good best friend. And they probably take turns being the one caught knob slobbing more than one guy in a night. They can't all go full skitch (skank biotch) in the same night. Since they seem organized, they probably have a calendar of who's night it is to contract something antibiotics may/may not resolve...
 
2013-04-18 04:54:28 PM

theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime .


is this real life?
 
2013-04-18 04:56:12 PM

Lollipop165: You are incorrect as well. That's the plural form.


My bad... as a female on the Internet, I just assumed you were fat.
 
2013-04-18 04:56:34 PM

CheetahOlivetti: You've been deep-greened.


Al-gae, you're making me blush.

meow said the dog: You have given to me the happiness of all years. That was the beautiful thing of the beauty. Can I tell you further how much awesomeness was provided by you.

The rest of you are probably bigger persons who do not see the issues from two sides so for this reason fark you.


Thank you Meow, I think.
 
2013-04-18 04:56:34 PM

theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.

 
2013-04-18 04:57:00 PM

The_Gallant_Gallstone: Lollipop165: As a sorority alumni alumnae

 alumna,  I can totally imagine this happening.

Greeks apparently don't know how to Latin.
 
2013-04-18 04:59:24 PM
She looks like she's just a few years from becoming some poor fella's wife...
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-18 04:59:59 PM

jaerik: "I will farking coont punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fark if you SOR me, I WILL farkING ASSAULT YOU. "

As an executive at a family-friendly Fortune 50 entertainment company, I find myself inexorably drawn to somehow incorporate this phrase into our next division business review.


What is "SOR"?
 
2013-04-18 05:00:57 PM

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: The Alphas I've known are the ones who secretly upchuck in places without telling everyone. You see them with it on their chin, but you don't know WHERE you're going to find it (bathtub, off the balcony, in your closet are good bets though) but the Awkwards are going to just straight out puke in front of you.


I'll grant that, but honestly I prefer "vomit in plain view" to "vomit lotto".  Nobody wins the vomit lotto.
 
2013-04-18 05:01:18 PM

too_amuzed: What is "SOR"?


Her, after the Sigma Nu's stop by.
 
2013-04-18 05:01:56 PM
I don't get the whole Greek thing. Here in Canada we don't have that sort of crap, at least not on the same level as it exists in the U.S.

I mean why pay d-bags to humilate and degrade you in often slightly sadistic and homoerotic ways when you can be out drinking and partying with people who don't suck and getting laid? Unless of course you're into that sort of thing (thank you sir may I have another)
 
2013-04-18 05:03:16 PM
Aaaaiiirrrrr-raaaaaid!!
 
2013-04-18 05:03:58 PM
She looks and acts exactly like I would expect from a Marlyand sorority chick - tight little body, jacked face, and super crass.
 
2013-04-18 05:04:08 PM

poot_rootbeer: Greeks apparently don't know how to Latin.


Nah... we specialize more in Latinas... at least on Cinco de Mayo
 
2013-04-18 05:04:17 PM

poot_rootbeer: Greeks apparently don't know how to Latin.


Maybe it should be s alumnon pl alumna for the true Greek flavor.
 
2013-04-18 05:04:23 PM

that bosnian sniper: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: The Alphas I've known are the ones who secretly upchuck in places without telling everyone. You see them with it on their chin, but you don't know WHERE you're going to find it (bathtub, off the balcony, in your closet are good bets though) but the Awkwards are going to just straight out puke in front of you.

I'll grant that, but honestly I prefer "vomit in plain view" to "vomit lotto".  Nobody wins the vomit lotto.


Vomit Lotto or Vomit in Plain View, you're ending up with puke on your stuff, whether you get into the shower and have to "waffle stomp" some vomit while you're hung over too... or you're late and rushing through the yard and walk through it or you are getting dressed and realize its on your shoes or clothes in the closet... or you're drunk and someone pukes on your shoes (which I contend is my exclusive right, only I get to puke on me)... these kinds of broads are not to be invited to parties unless they're at someone else's house... and then they must be avoided when they reach the "WHY ME?" ugly cry stage of the evening.
 
2013-04-18 05:04:57 PM
This girl ain't got nothing on Alabama sorority girls; especially when it's Nick Saban's daughter.
 
2013-04-18 05:08:37 PM

E-Brake: NO YOU STUPID farkING ASS HATS


I'm so glad "asshat" has found acceptance in the wider world.
 
2013-04-18 05:08:50 PM

tricycleracer: FishyFred: And BarStoolSports has even more.

Jesus Christ.

Not bad, but I'd hate for her to blow up my Facebook wall if I didn't plow her to her exacting specifications.

[wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net image 414x823]


If this is a lower tier sorority at UMD, then I can only dream of the top tier/shelf.
 
2013-04-18 05:09:28 PM

The Muthaship: too_amuzed: What is "SOR"?

Her, after the Sigma Nu's stop by.



Λ Ο Λ
 
2013-04-18 05:09:57 PM

Dr Dreidel: Mog32Kupo: She looks like a total sorowhore.

It's "sorostitute".


Yes, a "sorowhore" is a woman who has had sex with George Soros, dummy
 
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