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(Deadspin)   Sorority sister lashes out at her sisters for "FARKING SUCKING" at Greek Week social events. Isn't that what sorority girls do? (Not safe for work language everywhere)   (deadspin.com) divider line 329
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14941 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Apr 2013 at 3:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-18 03:58:28 PM
We have her name...why are we not tracking her down to find out if she is hot or not? I want to know whether I should like her or not!
 
2013-04-18 03:58:51 PM
I always preferred when we had the slutty sororities for Grand Prix.

ZTA Purdue:  Everybody Gets Laid.
 
2013-04-18 03:59:32 PM

Yanks_RSJ: Dr Dreidel: As a graduate of UMD, let me be the first to say: LOLgreeks.

Seconded.

I do appreciate how accurately it depicts that lifestyle, though.  As if their social lives will be over if the boys over at Sigma Nu don't like hanging out with them.

In other words, don't be yourselves, be someone who will be liked by this specific group.  Sounds about right.


Meh, I understand the problem she's having. Running a sorority is like running a business. The fact is, if people don't like you, then people don't join you and then your sorority dies out. Likability is what is marketed in Greek life - if you don't understand that your group isn't going to last too long.
 
2013-04-18 04:00:11 PM

LeroyBourne: Girls that say the word 'farking' every other word are not classy, and certainly not sexy on any level.


Obviously you just haven't heard girls use the term correctly. "Keep farking me!"; "Fark me harder!"; both sexy.
 
2013-04-18 04:00:15 PM

Lorelle: OMFG, you like flibbety flobbed your num nums. You're totes screwsies in TFD. :)


Kitties!! \o/

durbnpoisn: E - Brake --  Is that the actual email.  The site is blocked from work so I could read it.


Naw, it's a copypasta parody I made for our little TFD community.
 
2013-04-18 04:00:25 PM
Jesus, what a b*tch.

Here's the "tl:dr" version of her letter:

"OMG you guys! Stop liking what I don't like!"
 
2013-04-18 04:01:05 PM
Shouldn't this have been greenlit under the Geek tab?
 
2013-04-18 04:01:25 PM

tricycleracer: All I gathered from that letter is that, for 4 days a year, a sorority becomes the sexual plaything of a designated fraternity.


Hey, those guys at Sigma Nu paid good money decorating their basement and stocking their fridge with Milwaukee's Best, it's downright rude not to fark them all.
 
2013-04-18 04:02:00 PM
Christ, what an asshole.
 
2013-04-18 04:02:51 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: Jesus, what a b*tch.

Here's the "tl:dr" version of her letter:

"OMG you guys! Stop liking what I don't like!"


That's not how I read it.  It was more like "we have certain social responsibilities, don't be rude, be good hostesses, you knew that coming in so don't go backing out now."  But with more profanity, invective, and some really good imagery.
 
2013-04-18 04:03:38 PM
Outstanding use of coont punting, great prose with all of the "farking" references. That's a Grade-A telloff email, right there.

// Golf claps.
 
2013-04-18 04:03:50 PM
My daughter sent me this link earlier...I can't help but to wish I could say these things to people around me.  I have screamed similiar things in my head but been forced to be nice...now I will just think the words "c*nt punt" and giggle to myself.
 
2013-04-18 04:04:19 PM

Rapmaster2000: ZTA Purdue:  Everybody Gets Laid.


At Purdue?  Didn't you have a choice?

Ugliest women I have ever seen and I'm a roller derby ref.....
 
2013-04-18 04:04:20 PM
I'm not going to post the link, but TotalFratMove has a pic of the girl who sent the e-mail and it's just so easy to visualize her face contorting into Rage Queen mode while she was writing this e-mail.
 
2013-04-18 04:04:45 PM

darkmayo: Is her name Heather?


That was my first reaction. "I must say I'm impressed to see the way she used the phrase "coont poont" in her letter."
 
2013-04-18 04:05:26 PM

Lollipop165: Meh, I understand the problem she's having. Running a sorority is like running a business. The fact is, if people don't like you, then people don't join you and then your sorority dies out. Likability is what is marketed in Greek life - if you don't understand that your group isn't going to last too long.


Hey, I understand the problem, I'm just pointing out how pathetic it is.
 
2013-04-18 04:05:47 PM
And BarStoolSports has even more.

Jesus Christ.
 
2013-04-18 04:06:14 PM
Not as dumbass as the blood-drive email from 2004.  I can't find the original but here's the news article about it with some nice quotes.
 
2013-04-18 04:06:47 PM
Well, we're farked. Feminism done won forever.
 
2013-04-18 04:06:50 PM
I prefer my women more on the middle-left of the psychotic/neurotic scale.

Psychotic---*---------*-------------*--------------*----------Neuroti c
                   ^           ^                ^                  ^
               throws    yells          cries            stalks
 
2013-04-18 04:06:51 PM

scubamage: Greek life, the worst 1600$ of my hard earned money I ever spent. What a farking waste.


I don't get why people bother joining a frat. If I want to be abused, humiliated, and almost die from alcohol poisoning, I can do it for a lot cheaper than $1600.

One of the worst assholes I ever knew was my roommate in college. He spent 90% of his time getting sh*t-faced drunk at his fraternity (the douche only got in because his brother was vice president of the frat or something) and the remaining 10% of his time was spent entering our dorm at 3 AM, soaked in booze and puking all over the floor.
 
2013-04-18 04:08:14 PM
About 3 sentences in, I wanted to launch this biatch into the sun.

FYI to her and everybody in the Greek system: None of the shiat you're doing right now matters. At all.

And I'm not as impressed by the oh so clever "coont punt" as everyone else, I guess.
 
2013-04-18 04:08:25 PM
This is poetry.

But I'm having a hard time here...does anyone have pics of what sorority girls might look like? For science.
 
2013-04-18 04:08:28 PM
This girl is awesome. If I was 20 years younger I'd propose to her.
 
2013-04-18 04:08:29 PM
I can't stop rereading that and laughing.
 
2013-04-18 04:08:39 PM
c u next tuesday punt.  that's gold.  i love this email.
 
2013-04-18 04:09:08 PM

FishyFred: And BarStoolSports has even more.

Jesus Christ.


Not bad, but I'd hate for her to blow up my Facebook wall if I didn't plow her to her exacting specifications.

wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net
 
2013-04-18 04:09:26 PM
Leadership!!!!  She has it.......in spades!!! She may not get far in the PC world, but I would follow that chick into battle in a heartbeat!
 
2013-04-18 04:09:43 PM
Makes me miss Greek life.  Mark and Bryce and I were all pretty good looking in college.  I was probably the best looking.  I swam a lot so I had an awesome body.  It's been a few years, but I like to think that I still inspire some cucumber sales in the chicks around the office.  If I wasn't the boss and "married", I'd be popping them on and off my cock like swish-ka-bob chicken.

Anyway, M B and I, used to go to off campus parties.  We'd find a dude there with a good looking girlfriend.  Mark and Bryce would buddy up to the dude, talking him up, doing shots with him, really selling himself back to himself.  He was always reticent at first, having never had any positive attention paid to him by a peer, but after a few drinks we was popping off gay jokes, high fiving, all the stupid bro shiat.  That's when I'd go to work on the girlfriend.  M & B would keep him distracted while I talked her into a back bedroom with a little help from Mr. Sandman.

When I'd had her back there for a while, M & B would bring the boyfriend back and throw open the door.  I'd always have his girlfriend doggied out so I could watch the door and see his expression when he recognized who was in the pretty portrait laid before him.  It was always a double banger of shock and sadness, because the girlfriend would look up, with this drenched look of pleasure on her face, and meet the dude's slack jawed gaze.  I'm sure seeing his girlfriend falling in love with a cock behind her stuck in his memory for a while.

But yeah, the biatch in the e-mail sounds nuts.  M & B & I probably would've passed all of them over.  Probably a bunch of fatties.
 
2013-04-18 04:09:49 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: I don't get why people bother joining a frat.


Non-stop anal sex.
 
2013-04-18 04:10:43 PM
Stay classy San Diego!
 
2013-04-18 04:10:46 PM

tricycleracer: FishyFred: And BarStoolSports has even more.

Jesus Christ.

Not bad, but I'd hate for her to blow up my Facebook wall if I didn't plow her to her exacting specifications.


Tongue punch
 
2013-04-18 04:10:47 PM
Ah Greek Week. Greek week was fun as it had weird or fun events to do, usually to raise money for some charity or several.

The competitions were fun but the pairing with other houses usually just devolves by day 2 or 3. The guys don't care about who shows up for the parties. The ladies get upset as their social funds get used for what become open parties. By end of the week bridges are burned and you hope you don't get paired with them next year :)
 
2013-04-18 04:10:58 PM

UrinalPooper: This girl is awesome. If I was 20 years younger I'd propose to her.


i wouldn't, but i would get her drunk and see if she would suck my dick.  it really is an amazingly over the top email.  alcohol was hopefully NOT a factor.
 
2013-04-18 04:10:58 PM

WhippingBoy: FuryOfFirestorm: I don't get why people bother joining a frat.

Non-stop anal sex.


As a gay man, that's not a problem for me.
 
2013-04-18 04:11:16 PM

js34603: LeroyBourne: Girls that say the word 'farking' every other word are not classy, and certainly not sexy on any level.

Obviously you just haven't heard girls use the term correctly. "Keep farking me!"; "Fark me harder!"; both sexy.


I stand corrected.  Now we really need a pic of this girl, for research purposes.
/because you know she's bringing that kind of language to the sack.
//fark poont my coont cave with your meaty daddy dick!!!!
 
2013-04-18 04:11:35 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: I don't get why people bother joining a frat. If I want to be abused, humiliated, and almost die from alcohol poisoning, I can do it for a lot cheaper than $1600.


All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.

/obligatory
 
2013-04-18 04:11:42 PM
I LOL'd.  She's an idiot for sending the email out.  Fortunately, although her choice of language isn't great, the content isn't anything objectionable.  The Greek system is ALL about social networking, and her sisters were doing a shiat job of it, fumbling an opportunity someone (probably her) worked hard to arrange.
 
2013-04-18 04:11:58 PM
Maybe I didn't pay enough attention to that rant. but it seemed like a sorostitute LITERALLY screaming "Tits or GTFO!" in an overly complicated manner.
 
2013-04-18 04:12:56 PM

TiredWings: Leadership!!!!  She has it.......in spades!!! She may not get far in the PC world, but I would follow that chick into battle in a heartbeat!


For sure.  That butt of hers won't quit.
 
2013-04-18 04:13:02 PM

Lexx: I LOL'd.  She's an idiot for sending the email out.  Fortunately, although her choice of language isn't great, the content isn't anything objectionable.  The Greek system is ALL about social networking, and her sisters were doing a shiat job of it, fumbling an opportunity someone (probably her) worked hard to arrange.


Yeah this is why I love this letter.  This complaint has happened in every sorority that has ever existed. But those complaints were never, ever this epic.
 
2013-04-18 04:13:07 PM
Love that email. I would have cracked up to receive an email like that in college, whether she is serious or not. Unless she actually physically assaults someone, I hope she does not get in trouble.
 
2013-04-18 04:13:10 PM

E-Brake: Lorelle: OMFG, you like flibbety flobbed your num nums. You're totes screwsies in TFD. :)

Kitties!! \o/

durbnpoisn: E - Brake --  Is that the actual email.  The site is blocked from work so I could read it.

Naw, it's a copypasta parody I made for our little TFD community.



I love how the filter caught so many things.  I still got the basic gist of what it was about.
 
2013-04-18 04:13:17 PM

macadamnut: top-shelf pussy


I never get tired of this term.

Perfect name for a parody lounge act.
 
2013-04-18 04:13:28 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: I don't get why people bother joining a frat. If I want to be abused, humiliated, and almost die from alcohol poisoning, I can do it for a lot cheaper than $1600.


The thing that gets me is the "greek life" racket is so mind-bogglingly potent and effective, that they get women --  women for god's sake -- to  pay for this shiat. Not just pay,  pay a  shiatload of money.
 
2013-04-18 04:14:07 PM

jayhawk88: You wouldn't think getting date raped would be that important to her.


Oh I giggled!
So.... any seat, right? We're all going to the same place.
 
2013-04-18 04:14:38 PM

tricycleracer: I didn't plow her to her exacting specifications.


Oh you can bet on one of two things.
Either she is very Dom in bed
or she is very sub.
this chick is not vanilla.
 
2013-04-18 04:15:09 PM

macadamnut: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.

/obligatory


Hey, the classics are classic for a reason.
 
2013-04-18 04:15:28 PM

FishyFred: I'm not going to post the link, but TotalFratMove has a pic of the girl who sent the e-mail and it's just so easy to visualize her face contorting into Rage Queen mode while she was writing this e-mail.


She looks like a total sorowhore.  She's going to leave school hopefully with a degree and a couple of other things that modern medication can't cure.

But leaving behind at least 2-3 pregnancies.
 
2013-04-18 04:15:44 PM

tricycleracer: FishyFred: And BarStoolSports has even more.

Jesus Christ.

Not bad, but I'd hate for her to blow up my Facebook wall if I didn't plow her to her exacting specifications.

[wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net image 414x823]


Be more flexible, keep trying until you get it right.
 
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