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(Deadspin)   Sorority sister lashes out at her sisters for "FARKING SUCKING" at Greek Week social events. Isn't that what sorority girls do? (Not safe for work language everywhere)   (deadspin.com) divider line 329
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14941 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Apr 2013 at 3:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-18 01:30:33 PM
I'm getting a  coont punt tattoo.  God I love this girl
 
2013-04-18 02:14:28 PM
cdn2.screenjunkies.com
 
2013-04-18 02:25:29 PM
But oh em gee [first name redacted], I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to farking find you on campus to do it myself.

LULZ
 
2013-04-18 03:04:53 PM
This girl is awesome. Just. Awesome.
 
2013-04-18 03:31:22 PM
future senator?
 
2013-04-18 03:34:25 PM
And people wonder why I joined Student Government as opposed to Greek life

/We threw awesome parties.
 
2013-04-18 03:34:28 PM
Yeah, I can see thinking that. I can see saying that, in a closed room by yourself. I can even see typing it, and then deleting it and starting over.

I can't see actually SENDING it to a list serve. That's...that's stupid. And this girl is probably 17-22, so she should know how the internet works. This isn't like some 70 year old senator being confused about the tubes.
 
2013-04-18 03:37:39 PM

FlashHarry: future senator?


Future Majority Leader.
 
2013-04-18 03:40:33 PM

what_now: Yeah, I can see thinking that. I can see saying that, in a closed room by yourself. I can even see typing it, and then deleting it and starting over.

I can't see actually SENDING it to a list serve. That's...that's stupid. And this girl is probably 17-22, so she should know how the internet works. This isn't like some 70 year old senator being confused about the tubes.


She's about to learn something she didn't know: Actions can have consequences.
 
2013-04-18 03:41:50 PM
    If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever wooden-slatted chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough farking ride.

    For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this community, we have been farkING UP in terms of circle jerks and general social interactions with meat world people. I've been getting texts on texts about farkers LITERALLY being so farking AWKWARD and so farking BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee, I've been having so much fun with my cats this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to farking find you on site to do it myself.

    I do not give a flying fark, and meat world people do not give a flying fark, about how much you farking love to talk to your cats. You have 361 days out of the farking year to talk to cats, and this week is NOT, I farking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the meat world, and that's not farking possible if you're going to stand around and talk to cats and not other people. Newsflash barjockey you cock: PEOPLE DON'T LIKE INTERNET WEIRDOS. Oh wait, DOUBLE farkING NEWSFLASH: REAL WORLD PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE farkING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE farkING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shiats that have talked openly about posting on FurNation IN FRONT OF MEAT WORLD PEOPLE. Are you people farking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore events. If meat world people openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Mustard Man over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE fark WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be posting on other sites, I don't give a fark if your nonexistent-boyfriend is on it, if your cat is on it, or if your Canadian girlfriend who's a model is on that site. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do farking NOT convince other farkers to leave with you.

    "But Laughter OL!", you say in a whiny little biatch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been showing my BIE on all the sites, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID farkING ASS HATS, IT farkING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW farkING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN farkING UP AT CIRCLE JERKS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being farking WEIRD at CJs (for example, being stupid shiats and saying stuff like "durr what's an Unscrooger?" is not farking funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually circle jerking on the opposing site. The opposing. farking. Site. ARE YOU farkING STUPID?!! I don't give a shiat about Communities, YOU CIRCLE JERK ON OUR GODDAMN SITE AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A CIRCLE JERK? ARE YOU farkING BLIND? Or are you just so farking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the community is going to make your CJs happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE farkING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY YOUR farkING CATS. I will farking coont punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fark if you BANHAMMER me, I WILL farkING ASSAULT YOU.

    "Ohhh Taco Zaires! I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that lurks in the corners eating bacon at night or if you're a weird shiat that does weird shiat during the day, this following message is for you:

    DO NOT POST IN TONIGHT'S CIRCLE JERK.

    I'm not farking kidding. Don't. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS community. I would rather have 40 attractivece internet weirdos that are drunk, talk to internet people, and not farking awkward than 80 that are farking sober dildos. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't circle jerk I'm talking to my google group and TFFB and Tinychat", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't farking post unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our community. Seriously. I swear to farking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's circle jerk, I will tell you to ragequit even if you're lurking in the corner eating bacon. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

    And for those of you who are facepalming at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fark. Go fark yourself.

    Penis.
 
2013-04-18 03:43:48 PM
What a demure, reserved young lass.
 
2013-04-18 03:45:04 PM
I love the response from the chapter president.

It's like we get to see the moment just before she realizes she's in way over her head.
 
2013-04-18 03:45:59 PM

Shostie: I love the response from the chapter president.

It's like we get to see the moment just before she realizes she's in way over her head.


Sorry. The response is over here:

http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deranged-sorority-girl-email-you- wi ll-ever-read


My name is Rachel Norris and I am the current president of Delta Gamma at the University of Maryland. It has been brought to my attention that you recently published an unsavory email that was sent out over my chapter's list-serve. Is it possible for you to either remove the article or just remove the names "Delta Gamma" and "Sigma Nu" from your article? This email absolutely does not reflect our chapter's values nor Sigma Nu's and any assistance you can give us is greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Rachel Norris

 
2013-04-18 03:47:12 PM
As a graduate of UMD, let me be the first to say: LOLgreeks.
 
2013-04-18 03:47:18 PM
This is relevant to my interests.
 
2013-04-18 03:47:51 PM
Greek life, the worst 1600$ of my hard earned money I ever spent. What a farking waste.
 
2013-04-18 03:48:14 PM
Smooth move.
 
2013-04-18 03:48:48 PM
Another reason why I stayed home during college with my parents. Not cool? Yes, but I shaved a shiat ton of money and lost my virginity years later by a much more mature woman.
 
2013-04-18 03:48:55 PM
i50.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-18 03:49:38 PM

FishyFred: what_now: Yeah, I can see thinking that. I can see saying that, in a closed room by yourself. I can even see typing it, and then deleting it and starting over.

I can't see actually SENDING it to a list serve. That's...that's stupid. And this girl is probably 17-22, so she should know how the internet works. This isn't like some 70 year old senator being confused about the tubes.

She's about to learn something she didn't know: Actions can have consequences.


And consequences have never been the same.
 
2013-04-18 03:49:41 PM

Shostie: Shostie: I love the response from the chapter president.

It's like we get to see the moment just before she realizes she's in way over her head.

Sorry. The response is over here:

http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deranged-sorority-girl-email-you- wi ll-ever-read


My name is Rachel Norris and I am the current president of Delta Gamma at the University of Maryland. It has been brought to my attention that you recently published an unsavory email that was sent out over my chapter's list-serve. Is it possible for you to either remove the article or just remove the names "Delta Gamma" and "Sigma Nu" from your article? This email absolutely does not reflect our chapter's values nor Sigma Nu's and any assistance you can give us is greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Rachel Norris


At least she was polite with the request, no "I'm gonna sue you" or some lame attempt to deny it.  Although sticking her name there for Google to index for all of eternity wasn't the greatest idea.  Time to floor the gas on the getting married part and losing your maiden name.
 
2013-04-18 03:51:07 PM
All I gathered from that letter is that, for 4 days a year, a sorority becomes the sexual plaything of a designated fraternity.
 
2013-04-18 03:51:27 PM
NEWS FLASH: Sorority girls are often coonts.
 
2013-04-18 03:51:35 PM
I went to UMD too.... this girl should have known better than to join DG. They were awful
 
2013-04-18 03:51:50 PM
I'd mary her just to hear her tell other chicks she's going to coont punt them.
 
2013-04-18 03:52:08 PM

Dr Dreidel: As a graduate of UMD, let me be the first to say: LOLgreeks.


Seconded.

I do appreciate how accurately it depicts that lifestyle, though.  As if their social lives will be over if the boys over at Sigma Nu don't like hanging out with them.

In other words, don't be yourselves, be someone who will be liked by this specific group.  Sounds about right.
 
2013-04-18 03:52:23 PM

1ceTr0n: Another reason why I stayed home during college with my parents. Not cool? Yes, but I shaved a shiat ton of money and lost my virginity years later by a much more mature woman.


Probably would have lost it earlier if you weren't shaving money. That's a bit creepy.
 
2013-04-18 03:52:32 PM

youmightberight: I'd mary her just to hear her tell other chicks she's going to coont punt them.


SHouldnt that be coont poont?
 
2013-04-18 03:52:57 PM
So... Pillow fight now?
 
2013-04-18 03:52:57 PM

E-Brake: If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever wooden-slatted chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough farking ride...


OMFG, you like flibbety flobbed your num nums. You're totes screwsies in TFD. :)
 
2013-04-18 03:53:14 PM
Expected to see pics of sorority girls sucking.  Leaving disappointed.
 
2013-04-18 03:53:27 PM
Girls that say the word 'farking' every other word are not classy, and certainly not sexy on any level.
 
2013-04-18 03:53:29 PM
People pay money for this?
 
2013-04-18 03:53:47 PM

1ceTr0n: Another reason why I stayed home during college with my parents. Not cool? Yes, but I shaved a shiat ton of money and lost my virginity years later by a much more mature woman.


Wow, you're actually bragging about that?
 
rka
2013-04-18 03:53:55 PM
Having had a roommate in college that was in a Frat (rushed as a junior for some damn reason) I usually find myself mocking Greeks at every opportunity that I can.

But this girl? This girl I would have wanted to party with back in the day. She's got moxie.
 
2013-04-18 03:54:04 PM
Or are you just so farking dense about what it means to make people like you

Uhhhh
 
2013-04-18 03:54:08 PM

tricycleracer: All I gathered from that letter is that, for 4 days a year, a sorority becomes the sexual plaything of a designated fraternity.

Yes.
 
2013-04-18 03:54:46 PM
"I will farking coont punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fark if you SOR me, I WILL farkING ASSAULT YOU. "

As an executive at a family-friendly Fortune 50 entertainment company, I find myself inexorably drawn to somehow incorporate this phrase into our next division business review.
 
2013-04-18 03:55:06 PM
E - Brake --  Is that the actual email.  The site is blocked from work so I could read it.
 
2013-04-18 03:55:24 PM
As a sorority alumni, I can totally imagine this happening.

Which is why I laughed so hard when I read this.

She had me at "coont punt".
 
2013-04-18 03:55:26 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: [i50.tinypic.com image 309x36]


See? and that's the problem with modern sororities.  With all those anti- hazing rules, she 's reduced to sending out a deranged e-mail rather than just lining up the reclacitrant sisters and paddling them, thereby giving the guy who installed hidden cameras in thier house when he was "fixing the wiring" somethigng to treasure forever
 
2013-04-18 03:55:39 PM

scubamage: Greek life, the worst 1600$ of my hard earned money I ever spent. What a farking waste.



Agreed. Not worth it for me, either. I guess I just don't work well in groups.
 
2013-04-18 03:55:56 PM
I have to give her respect just for the phrase "coont punt". I am stealing that one :).
 
2013-04-18 03:56:00 PM

1ceTr0n: Another reason why I stayed home during college with my parents. Not cool? Yes, but I shaved a shiat ton of money and lost my virginity years later by a much more mature woman.


Your mom?
 
2013-04-18 03:56:20 PM
You wouldn't think getting date raped would be that important to her.
 
2013-04-18 03:57:01 PM
Is her name Heather?
 
2013-04-18 03:57:12 PM
TTIWWOP
 
2013-04-18 03:57:37 PM
media.screened.com

CINDY
I just want to say that we are not
'Spirit Bunnies' anymore. We always
hated that name. It bugged the heck
out of Dina and me...

DINA
It's just such a put down.
 
2013-04-18 03:58:22 PM
What's her Fark ID?
 
2013-04-18 03:58:28 PM

tricycleracer: All I gathered from that letter is that, for 4 days a year, a sorority becomes the sexual plaything of a designated fraternity.


Yes, the other 361 days, they're the sexual playthings of all fraternities.
 
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