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(Opposing Views)   Funny guy makes a joke about his sandwich being 'the bomb' while boarding a plane. Hilarity ensues in the holding area   (opposingviews.com) divider line 78
    More: Dumbass, Hilarity Ensues, TSA, JFK International Airport, Astoria, advisory boards, home runs, security protocol  
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6049 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Apr 2013 at 1:35 AM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-18 07:18:14 AM
After it became clear that the bomb being referred to had actually been a sandwich, the men were released.

I know the TSA employees are not the brightest bulbs  on the Crhistmas tree, but how long does this kind of determination take? Or do they just make it take long enough to make the guy miss his flight?

Needless to say, they missed their flight.

Yep.

TSA - We've got the biggest dicks in the bsiness. (tm)
 
2013-04-18 07:18:31 AM
Big Bob's gotta whole lot of cock-meat sandwich for him.
 
2013-04-18 07:26:41 AM
Back in the 80's, my father was stationed in Heidelberg, Germany.  a "friend" (I use the quotes because I was only hanging out with him because my mother was friends with his mother and he was rather weird), we had walked off base and as we were coming back on base, we were passing the guard shack and got a "come on through" from one of the MPs who didn't even bother to leave the shack.  As we passed the entrance, the "friend" says "Gee, good thing we didn't have a bomb on us".

I stopped in my tracks and waited.  I didn't have to wait too long, both of the MPs popped out and chewed our asses for 10 minutes.  After our lesson, the "friend" proceeds to try and defend his comments like he was making sure they were on their toes.

/csb off
 
2013-04-18 07:28:31 AM
Good thing he didn't have a farking hero sandwich
cdn.hark.com

TSA would have shot him.
 
2013-04-18 07:30:33 AM
i200.photobucket.com

That's another thing they don't like at the airport: jokes. You know? Yeah, you can't joke about a bomb! Well why is it just jokes? What about a riddle? How about a limerick? How about a bomb anecdote? You know, no punchline, just a really cute story. Or suppose you intended to remark, not as a joke, but as an ironic musing. Are they prepared to make that distinction? Why, I think NOT.
 
2013-04-18 07:35:43 AM
A microphone on a microphone stand.
A brick wall.
A red circle with a diagonal red line.

=

"No Comedians"
 
2013-04-18 07:38:19 AM
Anyone who is not an actual threat to safety should never be even slightly inconvenienced by imperfect rules and procedures. That's the ideal. Criticizing people who fail to conform to an imperfect system doesn't help.
 
2013-04-18 07:44:56 AM

RobSeace: [i200.photobucket.com image 220x250]

That's another thing they don't like at the airport: jokes. You know? Yeah, you can't joke about a bomb! Well why is it just jokes? What about a riddle? How about a limerick? How about a bomb anecdote? You know, no punchline, just a really cute story. Or suppose you intended to remark, not as a joke, but as an ironic musing. Are they prepared to make that distinction? Why, I think NOT.


Damn, got to it before I did.

"Next question! Did any unknown person ask you to take something on board? Hmmm, now what exactly is an "unknown person"? Surely anyone is known to someone. In fact just this morning Kareem and Yusef Ali Bin Gabba, seem to know each other quite well. They kept joking about which one of my suitcases was the heaviest!"
 
2013-04-18 07:45:18 AM

Gyrfalcon: Mugato: On the one hand, all common sense has been expunged from airport security. On the other hand, he should have known that all common sense has been expunged from airport security and not used the word "bomb" in any context.

I think I say this every time this comes up: It has been a federal crime to make jokes about bombs on planes since oh, about 1972. This is not new, and it has never ever been funny.


First of all, he wasn't making a joke. Second, in what situation would a terrorist with a bomb actually make a bomb joke on a plane? There's being cautious and there's using just a tiny bit of common sense.
 
2013-04-18 07:47:09 AM

thamike: Satanic_Hamster: HotWingAgenda: I once got a package in the mail (post-9/11, obviously post-Unabomber) that was literally vibrating and making weird noises. It turned out to be a bizarre animatronic stuffed animal from someone I know who has a severe mental disorder, which still freaked me out. I don't know how it got past USPS security.

Wait, what?  Are you under the impression there's some sort of UPS security force screening/shaking/inspecting all your packages....?

Sometimes, it's a dildo.


Just remember to use the indefinite article, "a dildo", never "your dildo"
/nttawwt
 
2013-04-18 07:52:22 AM
I wonder what became of the sandwich?  Was it confiscated or consumed?  I demand answers.
 
2013-04-18 08:00:34 AM
Airport security looks for any excuse to put some fingers in you, so buyer be ware dudes.
 
2013-04-18 08:11:13 AM

MayoSlather: I wonder what became of the sandwich?  Was it confiscated or consumed?


Both.
 
2013-04-18 08:15:58 AM

Nem Wan: Anyone who is not an actual threat to safety should never be even slightly inconvenienced by imperfect rules and procedures. That's the ideal. Criticizing people who fail to conform to an imperfect system doesn't help.


Perfect systems are impossible to create, and security always has costs. Just having metal detectors at the airport is, in itself, an inconvenience.
 
2013-04-18 08:16:06 AM

DarkSoulNoHope: RobSeace: [i200.photobucket.com image 220x250]

That's another thing they don't like at the airport: jokes. You know? Yeah, you can't joke about a bomb! Well why is it just jokes? What about a riddle? How about a limerick? How about a bomb anecdote? You know, no punchline, just a really cute story. Or suppose you intended to remark, not as a joke, but as an ironic musing. Are they prepared to make that distinction? Why, I think NOT.

Damn, got to it before I did.

"Next question! Did any unknown person ask you to take something on board? Hmmm, now what exactly is an "unknown person"? Surely anyone is known to someone. In fact just this morning Kareem and Yusef Ali Bin Gabba, seem to know each other quite well. They kept joking about which one of my suitcases was the heaviest!"


"Did you pack your bags yourself? No, Carrot Top packed my bags. He and Martha Stewart and Florence Henderson came over to the house last night. Fixed me a lovely lobster newburg, gave me a full body massage with sacred oils from India, performed a four-way around the world and then they packed my bags. Next question."
 
2013-04-18 08:32:20 AM
INeedAName:
CSB time - some idiot who went to my college sent his gf a package and wrote 'bomb' on it because he thought it was funny. No one was amused when the FBI showed up.

I've always wondered what would happen if a box was mailed marked 'CONTAINS ANTHRAX', and all that was in the box was a CD by the band of that name.

It has probably been done, but I'm not stupid enough to try it as an experiment, even if it hasn't.
 
2013-04-18 08:33:43 AM

Vlad_the_Inaner: INeedAName:
CSB time - some idiot who went to my college sent his gf a package and wrote 'bomb' on it because he thought it was funny. No one was amused when the FBI showed up.

I've always wondered what would happen if a box was mailed marked 'CONTAINS ANTHRAX', and all that was in the box was a CD by the band of that name.

It has probably been done, but I'm not stupid enough to try it as an experiment, even if it hasn't.


and write on a box of clothes, "contains CHILD PORNOGRAPHY"
 
2013-04-18 08:42:10 AM

Satanic_Hamster: Depends on how you treat the air port security drones and what air port.

A few years back, one of my co-workers (company head driller) was flying to Calgary to look at a drill the company was thinking of buying.  He got caught at the air port with a knife.  The knife was missed on x-ray, but it was found because it tripped off the explosives sniffers.  This was a knife that I borrowed now and then to cut sticks of dynamite in half to make primers.

And to make matters funnier; he was a convicted felon.

He was out of security in 15 minutes after that.

Why?  He didn't try to bullshiat them.  He kept his answers to "yes sir" and "no sir" as much as possible.  And he had the phone number of the home office with him.

Petty inspectors/cops/whatever will go MUCH harder on you if they think you're disrespecting them or challenging their authority.  Doesn't matter if they're a Wal-Mart reject mall cop or air port security; they have JUST enough power to fark with your day and they will do so if you piss them off.  So swallow your farking pride and be polite and respectful to them, because they can mess with you a lot easier and more deeply then you can EVER do to them and they can get away with it.


Or just get your pilot certificate and say fark off for 99% of your travel. I only fly commercial internationally. The rest of the time, I hop into the M20 and fly myself, or into the car and drive. F*ck dealing with the little fascists.

Pilot certificate w/ IFR: $15,000

Mooney M20 (w/ 3 partners) $75,000

Not dealing with idiots that were drummed out of the mall cop academy: priceless
 
2013-04-18 08:43:17 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: Vlad_the_Inaner: INeedAName:
CSB time - some idiot who went to my college sent his gf a package and wrote 'bomb' on it because he thought it was funny. No one was amused when the FBI showed up.

I've always wondered what would happen if a box was mailed marked 'CONTAINS ANTHRAX', and all that was in the box was a CD by the band of that name.

It has probably been done, but I'm not stupid enough to try it as an experiment, even if it hasn't.

and write on a box of clothes, "contains CHILD PORNOGRAPHY"


my scenario had a factual label describing the totally legal contents of the a box, making it ironic, so like WTF is the deal with your proposal?
 
2013-04-18 08:50:19 AM
If that's what the restaurant actually calls the sandwich in an airport, that's a dumbass move.
 
2013-04-18 08:53:23 AM
wambu

I know the TSA employees are not the brightest bulbs on the Crhistmas tree, but how long does this kind of determination take?

It took them 5 min to determine that my sealed bottle of hot sauce was too many fluid ounces to fly out of Austin TX.
 
2013-04-18 08:54:28 AM

buckler: If that's what the restaurant actually calls the sandwich in an airport, that's a dumbass move.


Pretty stupid..

They should consider changing the name to "explosive device" or something.

a couple in a plane

"Hey, look honey, it's a friend of mine over there"

"Hi Jack!"
 
2013-04-18 08:59:44 AM
I was in SeaTac once where one brain surgeon who missed his flight thought that telling the attendant that there was a bomb on the departing flight would bring it back tot he terminal so he could board it.....Security was not amused...(Neither was I....5:30 AM...long previous day, no sleep and no coffee)
 
2013-04-18 09:30:23 AM

Bigdogdaddy: Went on a training trip to Chicago with a Filipino engineer.  On the way back she bought a wiffle ball and bat for her kid at the airport.  We were sitting on the plane at O'Hare and she said, "I hope a terrorist gets on here I'll hit him over the heat with my bat!"  She kept nervously saying this over and over and I was hoping they would cuff her and stuff her, but her being female probably was the only thing that kept her on the plane. She was probably the smartest person I ever met, but she had zero common sense.


Which makes her an idiot.

I don't care if you have a PHD in brain surgery, if you don't have common sense, you are not smart.
 
2013-04-18 09:38:36 AM
What? No jokes about the best line in the article?

"He did have a simulated IED in his pants. They did not find it," an agent said.
 
2013-04-18 09:38:58 AM
He said BONG not BOMB.

NSFW language
 
2013-04-18 10:16:35 AM
www.fehler-im-film.de
 
2013-04-18 10:58:20 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
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