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(Salon)   Actual headline: "Let's hope the Boston Marathon bomber is a white American." Because if there is one thing Americans can't stand, it is foreigners taking our jobs   (salon.com) divider line 34
    More: Asinine, Boston Marathon, Americans, Irish Republican Army, existential threat, David Sirota, Islamists, Department of Homeland Security, Tim Wise  
•       •       •

7603 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Apr 2013 at 9:14 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-17 08:48:30 AM  
12 votes:
Can you imagine if he turns out to be gay? Hoooo boy, that would muddy the water.

How about a gay lone wolf terrorist who had a brief career as an abortion doctor specializing in late-term abortions.

Oh, oh, I know. I gay lone wolf former late-term abortionist terrorist who owns over a dozen handguns and automatic rifles all purchased at gun shows. And he entered the country illegally 15 years ago and has been living here ever since. And he's an atheist.

An atheist, gay, undocumented immigrant former late-term abortion providing and non-background-checked gun owning lone wolf terrorist. Now  thatwould be something.
2013-04-17 09:26:18 AM  
5 votes:

RexTalionis: People just like to use the word "existential threat" as a short-hand for "wow, I'm really worried, look at me pissing in my pants and soiling myself." Stop it. It's sloppy. It's inaccurate. It's intellectually dishonest and it's stupid.


I got a threatening letter from Albert Camus, I considered that an existential threat and I feel justified in that!
2013-04-17 09:08:55 AM  
5 votes:
Hm, you know, it's possible that the Israelian Brony aspect of his persona may provide the most telling backstory. Consider the possibilities...maybe, as a child, he was visiting a petting farm in his native country to see the ponies. He got a little too far from his parents and had an unfortunate accident with the hay bailer. The accident almost took his left arm and he would have bled to death if not for the presence of a doctor, who was able to perform a life-saving transfusion using blood from the farm's only pig, which died. And yes, he did save the young Israelian brony's life, but at what cost? His blood defiled, now; he would spend the rest of his life seen as half pig. The vilest of the vile.  Hey pig boy, they would yell at him. His parents disowned him. His world became twisted, isolated, filled with hate. He wanted to lash out, to strike back at anyone and everything. It's sad, really. With a start like that, it's hard to imagine someone not becoming an atheist, gay, undocumented immigrant former late-term abortion providing and non-background-checked gun owning lone wolf terrorist.
2013-04-17 09:24:39 AM  
4 votes:
White power makes my kitchen sparkle.
2013-04-17 08:56:16 AM  
3 votes:

RexTalionis: SlothB77: Second, Islamists declaring terrorism in the name of allah, with muslim groups taking responsibility, i.e., an islamic terrorist group took credit for the failed Times Square bombing, are existential threats.

I don't think you understand the word "existential." An existential threat is one that will end the existence to the thing that the threat is existential to. Unless those Islamists apparently also have hundreds of nuclear weapons aimed at us, it is not an existential threat.

People just like to use the word "existential threat" as a short-hand for "wow, I'm really worried, look at me pissing in my pants and soiling myself." Stop it. It's sloppy. It's inaccurate. It's intellectually dishonest and it's stupid.


Literally?
2013-04-17 08:55:38 AM  
3 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Can you imagine if he turns out to be gay? Hoooo boy, that would muddy the water.

How about a gay lone wolf terrorist who had a brief career as an abortion doctor specializing in late-term abortions.

Oh, oh, I know. I gay lone wolf former late-term abortionist terrorist who owns over a dozen handguns and automatic rifles all purchased at gun shows. And he entered the country illegally 15 years ago and has been living here ever since. And he's an atheist.

An atheist, gay, undocumented immigrant former late-term abortion providing and non-background-checked gun owning lone wolf terrorist. Now  thatwould be something.


also he's a brony
2013-04-17 08:49:41 AM  
3 votes:
I just hope they're crazy.

Not "the gubermint is poisonin' us with fluoride and imported sponges from gay-lovin' countries" crazy, more like "those buildings look structurally unsound, so I'll deliver a contained blast of nails to provide architectural support, which will count as a good deed towards getting me out of this Matrix-like virtual reality simulator" kind of crazy.
2013-04-17 10:07:50 AM  
2 votes:
Call us genocidal bastards if you want, call us supremacists, call us kikes/hymiecountry/whatever racial insult you want, call us the new Nazis, I don't care.

But don't ever farking call us bronies.
2013-04-17 09:57:43 AM  
2 votes:
It must be, because black people can't figure out bombs, and the Asians would have made a smaller, more sophisticated one.
2013-04-17 09:35:40 AM  
2 votes:
I'm hoping its a woman.. its never a woman! The feminists are really slacking in the psycho terrorism equality area.
2013-04-17 09:18:29 AM  
2 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Hm, you know, it's possible that the Israelian Brony aspect of his persona may provide the most telling backstory. Consider the possibilities...maybe, as a child, he was visiting a petting farm in his native country to see the ponies. He got a little too far from his parents and had an unfortunate accident with the hay bailer. The accident almost took his left arm and he would have bled to death if not for the presence of a doctor, who was able to perform a life-saving transfusion using blood from the farm's only pig, which died. And yes, he did save the young Israelian brony's life, but at what cost? His blood defiled, now; he would spend the rest of his life seen as half pig. The vilest of the vile.  Hey pig boy, they would yell at him. His parents disowned him. His world became twisted, isolated, filled with hate. He wanted to lash out, to strike back at anyone and everything. It's sad, really. With a start like that, it's hard to imagine someone not becoming an atheist, gay, undocumented immigrant former late-term abortion providing and non-background-checked gun owning lone wolf terrorist.


But pressure cookers? Come now. Nothing you propose covers his hate for a pressurized cooking device for speedy deep frying of chicken with 11 herbs and spices.

I think your scenario is therefore far fetched.

This was clearly the work of a transsexual failed pole dancer who is overweight due to KFC.
2013-04-17 08:58:36 AM  
2 votes:

Jackson Herring: also he's an Israelian brony

2013-04-17 08:58:01 AM  
2 votes:

Jackson Herring: Pocket Ninja: Can you imagine if he turns out to be gay? Hoooo boy, that would muddy the water.

How about a gay lone wolf terrorist who had a brief career as an abortion doctor specializing in late-term abortions.

Oh, oh, I know. I gay lone wolf former late-term abortionist terrorist who owns over a dozen handguns and automatic rifles all purchased at gun shows. And he entered the country illegally 15 years ago and has been living here ever since. And he's an atheist.

An atheist, gay, undocumented immigrant former late-term abortion providing and non-background-checked gun owning lone wolf terrorist. Now  thatwould be something.

also he's a brony


Looks like every Farker in the wrestling threads is gonna get an FBI visit now.
2013-04-17 08:25:53 AM  
2 votes:
The new commenting box is an existential threat to html formatting
2013-04-17 08:13:45 AM  
2 votes:
However, white male privilege means white men are not collectively denigrated/targeted for those shootings - even though most come at the hands of white dudes.

Yeah, surf's up! Gnarly!
2013-04-17 03:09:26 PM  
1 votes:
I hope it's a midget.  An angry midget, upset that he couldn't run as far or as fast on his little midget-legs, who intended the bombs to hit people square in the chest, but unfortunately calibrated the devices to his own height. There's not enough midget hate these days.
2013-04-17 02:52:52 PM  
1 votes:

vygramul: I'd rather they be uncountable.


They're irrational. That's a start.
2013-04-17 11:54:56 AM  
1 votes:

Tatsuma: Graffito: How does the existence of non-white serial killers change the fact that most are white?

You mean that in a country where the majority population is white, the majority of serial killers are white?? Someone get this man a job at the New York Times!


Guess what, if you take the top 5 serial killers in modern history, none of them were white. There are a shiatload of serial killers in South America, Asia or Africa. Do you think all of them are mostly white as well?

What a stupid point to try and make.


My comment was specific to another poster (hence the quoting of that poster).  I couldn't make out what he was trying to say/show/prove.  It seemed like he was using pics of non-white serial killers to try to deny that most of them (in this country) are white.  I still don't see how the existence of non-white murderers alters the fact that most serial killers (in this country) are white.
2013-04-17 10:20:18 AM  
1 votes:

Nabb1: Wendy's Chili: HAMMERTOE: Where is the media fury? Where are the liberal cries to outlaw evil-looking "assault bombs"? Where are the cries to outlaw explosive substances wholesale? Explosive substances have but one purpose, (to ignite and burn explosively and destructively,) just like "guns have but one purpose, to kill." Where are the cries for background checks to purchase gasoline, or limiting possession to say, seven gallons at a time, no matter what size the gas tank?

Eh, no ulterior motives, I guess.

The bomb didn't use gasoline, it used--wait for it--gun powder.

It's a good thing fireworks don't have gunpowder in them.


It's a good thing fireworks are banned in Massachusetts.
2013-04-17 10:05:27 AM  
1 votes:

HAMMERTOE: jaybeezey: I think that if i were going to be toting around a bomb in a public place i wouldn't want it to be sloshing around and shiat.

A box of Tide helps turn gasoline to napalm. Sloshing problem solved.


Thank you citizen.  You will be receiving a call shortly...

www.geek.com
2013-04-17 09:55:04 AM  
1 votes:
Look!  It's an Assault Pressure Cooker!

www.lulusoso.com
2013-04-17 09:53:52 AM  
1 votes:

MilesTeg: Fairly successful troll by Salon.com. Has some key attributes to a good troll. Juvenile thinking and conclusions dressed up to sound intellectual for the weak minded. Also includes the standard liberal race baiting.

Then again, since the site lives on being trollish and creating content for the sole purpose of being linked to on news aggregators, not unexpected.

3/10


You could have saved a lot of keystrokes and just typed "LIBS!" with as many exclamation points as you deemed necessary.
2013-04-17 09:39:01 AM  
1 votes:
White privilege is knowing that if this bomber turns out to be white, the United States government will not bomb whatever corn field or mountain town or stale suburb from which said bomber came, just to ensure that others like him or her don't get any ideas. And if he turns out to be a member of the Irish Republican Army we won't bomb Dublin. And if he's an Italian-American Catholic we won't bomb the Vatican.

I love this assumption that a domestic terrorist could only possibly come from farm country, or the mountains, or the "stale suburbs." As if the peace-loving, non-violent, civil denizens of our nation's major cities would never display such unrefined deportment.

Privileged coastal elite: This is why America hates you.
2013-04-17 09:38:43 AM  
1 votes:

Ecobuckeye: Mohammad I'm Hard Bruce Lee: [i.imgur.com image 850x444]

Kyle Orton?


Not enough neck beard
2013-04-17 09:36:33 AM  
1 votes:

Mohammad I'm Hard Bruce Lee: [i.imgur.com image 850x444]


Kyle Orton?
2013-04-17 09:34:51 AM  
1 votes:
from the troll article:

"White privilege is knowing that if this bomber turns out to be white, the United States government will not bomb whatever corn field or mountain town or stale suburb from which said bomber came.."

Apparently you've missed this conversation in the news the last 2 months:

static.guim.co.uk

Yes, it's illegal for us to carpet bomb domestic terrorists, because they're CITIZENS and therefore protected by our legal justice system rights.

But don't worry, we're working on getting around it.
2013-04-17 09:34:10 AM  
1 votes:
I see. We need a "I'm not saying it's white dudes...but it's white dudes" caption.

Nothing like jumping to conclusions. We're not supposed to say it's brown people, but it's ok to automatically make the leap that it must be white people?

F*ck that. Author needs a shot in the nuts.
2013-04-17 09:31:43 AM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com


/still not feeling guilty for being a white male
2013-04-17 09:21:56 AM  
1 votes:

Jake Havechek: We're going to find the motherfarker, whomever it is, and tear them a new asshole.


We will call him 3 hole Jane.
2013-04-17 09:19:18 AM  
1 votes:
We're going to find the motherfarker, whomever it is, and tear them a new asshole.
2013-04-17 09:18:20 AM  
1 votes:

RexTalionis: SlothB77: Second, Islamists declaring terrorism in the name of allah, with muslim groups taking responsibility, i.e., an islamic terrorist group took credit for the failed Times Square bombing, are existential threats.

I don't think you understand the word "existential." An existential threat is one that will end the existence to the thing that the threat is existential to. Unless those Islamists apparently also have hundreds of nuclear weapons aimed at us, it is not an existential threat.

People just like to use the word "existential threat" as a short-hand for "wow, I'm really worried, look at me pissing in my pants and soiling myself." Stop it. It's sloppy. It's inaccurate. It's intellectually dishonest and it's stupid.



But but but I read Nietsche in my women's studies undergraduate seminar on deconstructing the tropes of the patriachal white hegemony.  So there.
2013-04-17 09:01:10 AM  
1 votes:

miss diminutive: Jackson Herring: also he's an Israelian brony


And his agenda is simply that he hates Col. Sanders for making pressure cookers popular.
2013-04-17 08:50:39 AM  
1 votes:
For the psyche of Americans, TFA is basically correct. We deal with terrorists from white people much more sanely, as pathetic as that is.
2013-04-17 08:25:16 AM  
1 votes:
There is a double standard: White terrorists are dealt with as lone wolves, Islamists are existential threatsIf you disagree with this, welp congrats on living in imagination land
 
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